25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: JINGLE ALL THE WAY

CAST

Arnold Schwarezenegger (Predator)
Sinbad (American Dad)
Phil Hartman (Small Soldiers)
Rita Wilson (The Bonfire of The Vanities)
Jake Lloyd (Star Wars – Episode I)
Martin Mull (Killers)
James Belushi (Red Heat)
Richard Moll (Scary Movie 2)
Danny Woodburn (Watchmen)
Alan Blumenfeld (Heroes)
Phil Morris (Smallville)
Curtis Armstrong (American Dad)
Yeardley Smith (The Simpsons)
Chris Parnell (Anchorman)
Verne Troyer (Austin Powers)

Howard Langston is a workaholic mattress salesman with no time for his wife, Liz, and his 9-year-old son, Jamie — especially when compared to next door “superdad” divorcee, Ted Maltin, who continually puts Howard in a bad light. After missing Jamie’s karate class graduation, Howard resolves to redeem himself by fulfilling Jamie’s ultimate Christmas wish: getting an action figure toy of Turbo-Man, a wildly popular TV superhero. On Christmas Eve, Howard sets out to buy a Turbo-Man doll at a store, telling Liz that he already has one at work that he must retrieve.Along the way, Howard meets Myron Larabee, a postal worker dad with a rival ambition, and the two soon become bitter competitors in their race for the action figure. During his search, Howard runs his car into the parked police motorcycle of Officer Hummel, who earlier pulled him over and gave him a ticket. After several failed attempts to find the toy in a store, Howard attempts to buy a Turbo-Man from a Mall of America Santa, who is actually the leader of a band of counterfeit toy makers. When he accuses the Santa of undermining the values of Christmas (having been ripped off and sold a defective toy that falls apart the moment he opened the package), Howard ends up in a brawl with the gang. He narrowly escapes when the police raid their warehouse and gets out by posing as an undercover detective using a toy badge.Later, Howard arrives at Mickey’s Diner and uses their phone to call home. As he tried to get a hold of Liz, he unintentionally scolds Jamie on the phone over Turbo-Man. Jamie, in turn, rebukes his father about how he never keeps his promises, and hangs up. Liz overhears the argument and becomes disappointed in her husband. Howard then encounters Myron at the diner. As they sat down and talk, Myron tells Howard about the time when his father was unable to get him a Johnny Seven OMA toy on Christmas. They hear on the KQRS radio station that there is a trivia competition in which the winner will receive a Turbo-Man doll. They rush to the studio, with Howard breaking the door to the recording booth, under the impression that the DJ has a Turbo-Man doll in the studio. After Myron threatens to blow up the studio with a package he claims is a mail bomb, he and Howard find out that whoever wins the competition will get a doll “eventually.” The package is revealed to be a music box. The police, led by Officer Hummell, arrive in the studio, and Myron bluffs the police into backing off by threatening them with another “mail bomb,” allowing him and Howard to escape. Hummell confidently rips open the package and it explodes, leaving his face covered in soot.After his car is stripped by thieves, Howard is ultimately forced to return home empty-handed. Outside his home, he sees Ted in his house placing the star on his tree. In anger, Howard breaks into Ted’s house and steals the Turbo-Man doll from under his tree. He realizes that he is stealing from a child and changes his mind. He is attacked by Ted’s pet reindeer, accidentally setting one of Ted’s decorations on fire, and kicking it out the window trying to stamp it out, drawing the attention of Ted and Liz. Liz, having had enough, leaves with Jamie, Ted, and his son Johnny to the local Christmas parade; Howard follows, aiming to make amends.At the parade, Ted makes a pass at Liz and she hits him with a thermos of eggnog. Howard witnesses Ted’s actions from a distance, and on his way to confront him, he runs into Officer Hummel, spilling his hot coffee all over him. Howard runs and Hummell chases him, and Howard enters a room where he is mistaken as the replacement actor for Turbo-Man. As the “real” Turbo-Man, he presents the coveted limited-edition Turbo-Man doll to his son. Before he recognizes his father, Jamie is chased by Myron, who has dressed as Turbo-Man’s arch enemy Dementor (having caught, tied up and gagged the real actor). As the crowd assumes this is all part of the show, Howard attempts to rescue his son by utilizing the Turbo-Man suit’s equipment.Howard catches Jamie as he falls from a roof and reveals himself to his son. Officer Hummell gives the doll to Jamie, then asks Howard (as Turbo-Man) to join the police force, saluting him. Howard turns and reveals himself and Hummell is dumbfounded, as Howard apologizes for all the trouble. Myron is arrested while ranting about having to explain his failure to get the Turbo-Man toy for his son. Jamie decides to give the doll to him, telling Howard that he has “the real Turbo-Man at home.” Later, Howard puts the star on the top of his tree and celebrates Christmas with Jamie and Liz. Liz commends Howard for everything he’s done just to make Jamie happy, and then asks Howard what he got her for Christmas. Howard stares in shock at the camera before the fadeout.This film shows the insanity of Christmas. Two parents, who waited untill the last minute to buy a popular gift for their child, spend all of Christmas Eve trying to come up with the toy. They were vicious and violent with each other in their efforts to secure the piece of plastic junk for their little darling. This picture shows just how goofy people act at this time of year. Instead of preparing, most folks wait till it is too late; all in the name of Christmas spirit.  How true of real life. A funny movie on one hand, a tragedy on the other. Look and learn.

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: THE SIMPSONS CHRISTMAS EPISODES – PART 7

simpsons-logo-1

 

 

MAIN CAST (VOICES)

Dan Castellaneta (Fantastic Four)
Julie Kavner (Dr. Dolittle 2)
Nancy Cartwright (Rugrats)
Yeardley Smith (Jingle ALl The Way)
Hank Azaria (The Smurfs)
Harry Shearer (This Is Spinal Tap)
Pamela Hayden (Being John Malkovich)
Tress MacNeille (Futurama)

The Simpsons (1989)
Bobby: It’s Cold Outside

GUEST STARS

Scott Bakula (Star Trek: Enterprise)
Kelsey Grammer (Frasier)
Kevin Michael Richardson (The Cleveland Show)

Bobby,_It's_Cold_Outside_promo_7D’oh, ho ho. The Simpsons, season 31, episode 10, “Bobby: It’s Cold Outside,” is a double-stuffed bag for the chimney. It is their annual Christmas episode, and these halls are decked. The episode features evergreen favorite recurring villain Sideshow Bob, who trims his tree with ornaments of bleeding Barts. And it bottoms out with our Springfield’s favorite Grinch.hqdefaultAfter what appears to be another ingenious escape from the revolving door penal system in Springfield, Sideshow Bob winters by the sea, where he tends a lighthouse. I heard the song “I want to marry a lighthouse keeper,” from Clockwork Orange in my head the whole time he is visited by a distant neighbor who is very pleased he is single. Whether it’s his mop of red hair, tall thin frame and big feet, or the idea that anyone who lives in a lighthouse is pretty much a shut-in, Sideshow Bob gets picked to be the local Santa Claus in Springfield’s Santa’s Village, already overcrowded at Christmas. Bart’s history with the men in red is problematic as it is. Even, and maybe especially, when Homer had the lap with the most. Bart is fond of pulling fake beards off mall Santas, so we know there is going to be a reunion. We know it will be fraught with some kind of tension, Sideshow Bob has been singing about stringing up Bart from the very opening, but we’re not guaranteed lethal intent. Damn those method actors, they have to feel it.TheSimpsons_3101_BobbyItsColdOutsideFor this episode, the unlikely duo feels like performing a Christmas miracle, though of course, they’d never call it that. They work side by side saving the Yule season. Bart and Sideshow Bob’s relationship goes far beyond nemeses. That’s the role rakes play in Sideshow Bob’s life. Bob has also been a mentor to Bart, a guardian, close friend, singing partner, co-conspirator and comrade in arms. They’ve each saved the other, or cleared the other of crimes they didn’t commit. Their relationship is complicated. Sideshow Bob’s appearance coincides with a rash of stolen UPS packages. Tis the season. Christmas in Springfield is the usual shopper’s nightmare. They don’t need Black Friday to darken their retail environment. Lenny gets caught in his own booby trapped attempt to catch the thieves, but is able to write the initials in blood, or paint from a paint gun. Springfield’s police round up all the usual suspects, from Selma Bouvier to Scott Bacula, they even pull Sandra Bullock out of her bird box.x720Because it is a holiday episode, everyone in the community makes a quick appearance, from Rainier Luftwaffe Wolfcastle to Krusty the Clown. Even Lisa Simpson almost gets a second line in tonight. Yes, she and Krusty are both brushed off like so many garlands on a tree, when they are obviously close to the main players. At least Marge has little projects she can get caught up in. Maggie gets her own segment, and it is a truly revelatory one. Dreamlike, with more than a touch of nightmare, the one ride at Santa’s Village is a kiddie ride parents don’t fit on. That means the gnomes can have at them as they will. We are not sure whether this is Maggie’s perception of the dangers of gnomes, or if the carneys who put it together are really taking advantage of the lack of parental supervision, but it is genius. The ride’s song, sung so merrily with that “It’s a Small World” buoyancy, sinks into a river of subversive threats and promises of more said doom.simpsons-logo-1The music is festively eclectic on this seasonal choir. Good King Wenceslas continues to make his ominous iciness known, while new chestnut Baby Shark Diddy keeps the family roasted during car rides. The episode must have been written during the winter of discontent with Dean Martin because the closing sequence reclaims “Baby It’s cold Ouside” with such over the top legalistic disclaimers I wish they’d slapped me with a nondisclosure citation. We get some light political gags, like burning the Bill of Rights on the Fox News yule log, along with the Constitution and quite a few books which might have made thoughtful holiday gifts. Of course, the Christmas present crime wave is just another one of Mr. Burns Grinchy indulgences, which is the other holiday miracle. Sideshow Bob, who in another life was Seattle’s favorite radio psychiatrist Dr. Frasier Crane, gets Mr. Burns on the couch. Or is it in his lap, as he’s doing it in a red suit? Either way, their scene is much more touching than creepy even though the lesson at the center of it is a nightmare in itself. You’re a mean one, Mr. Burns, and everybody knows.c7963f31-6097-4352-84d0-700075f1a65b-TheSimpsons_3101_BobbyItsColdOutside_ScCG02AvidColorCorrectedRobert Underdunk Terwilliger Jr., Ph.D., is as much a tradition as The Simpsons’ annual Christmas show, or “Treehouse of Horrors,” although not annual guarantee. Kelsey Grammer may or may not have beaten James Arness’ record for playing one character the longest, but he will forever be Sideshow Bob, unless David Hyde Pierce also guest stars on the episode and things blur. Come to think of it, though, haven’t all the principles on The Simpsons played their characters longer than Arness’ Marshal Matt Dillon character? Maybe it doesn’t count if they’re artistically rendered, or perhaps it stopped counting after the animation began to be drawn by committee. The Sideshow Bob episodes also have quality in common with the “Treehouse” and Christmas episodes. It might be the writing is sharper to match the character. It might be Grammer actually reads the whole script before signing on. It could be simply Sideshow Bob is a great character, in moderation. There’s only room for one Fonzie on The Simpsons and that’s Bart. Served hot, cold or on the rocks, Sideshow Bob is gourmet meal which is actually filling, maybe not to Homer, who goes fishing when all-you-can-eat-shrimp runs out, but to viewers.UntitledThis year’s Simpsons Christmas episode is a full holiday meal with the good pastry place closed. “Bobby: It’s Cold Outside” combines the annual seasonal favorite with the always-anticipated Sideshow Bob appearance and wraps it in a Mr. Burns bow. It has all the elements of a top-tier favorite, but it’s not quite the perfect gift. It’s not that it tries too hard, because it really does work subtle into zany well and consistently. The plot and pacing are perfect, with a lot of extra sight gags thrown in throughout, and it will be one of those episodes Simpsons fans will re-watch happily.

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: THE SIMPSONS CHRISTMAS MESSAGE

Image result for THE SIMPSONS LOGO
CAST
Dan Castellaneta (Fantastic Four)
Julia Kavner (Dr. Dolittle)
Nancy Cartwright (All Grown Up!)
Yeardley Smith (As Good As It gets)
maxresdefault
Marge is in the kitchen and tries to wish the British people a Merry Christmas. However, Bart comes and tells the viewers that they are really in a TV studio, and the kitchen is just a copy. Then Lisa comes, screaming “UK out of Cornwall!” Homer appears dressed as Santa Claus and wishes the viewers his own Christmas message. Finally, the whole family, including Santa’s Little Helper and Snowball II, come to the kitchen and drink a traditional British tea. However, when the camera is off, they all spit it out, including the pets. Bart says it tastes like hurl.
Krampus3
Aired in 2004 on Channel 4 as an alternate to The Queens Speech, I personally would rather watch the Simpsons do a speech each ear than the Queens as this is far more entertaining. sadly they only did this in 2004 and never did another one, it’s viewable on YouTube if you wish to check it out.

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: THE SIMPSONS CHRISTMAS EPISODES – PART 6

simpsons-logo-1

MAIN CAST (VOICES)

Dan Castellaneta (Fantastic Four)
Julie Kavner (Dr. Dolittle 2)
Nancy Cartwright (Rugrats)
Yeardley Smith (Jingle ALl The Way)
Hank Azaria (The Smurfs)
Harry Shearer (This Is Spinal Tap)

The-Simpsons-Season-30-Episode-10-2-c44b

TIS THE 30TH SEASON

GUEST STARS

Jane Lynch (Glee)
Kevin Michael Richardson (The Cleveland Show)

MV5BNzQwNTUzMTgtODQyZC00NDJlLWE3NjMtMTlhYjgyY2VmOTIwXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMjMxOTcxOTI@._V1_After Thanksgiving dinner, Bart Simpson and Lisa Simpson gives Marge Simpson and Homer Simpson their present list, asking for a smart TV that costs $2,400. When a Black Friday offer is show in TV at the Sprawl-Mart, Marge and Homer make plans for it. Marge camps out at Sprawl-Mart, holding a place in line. Homer fails to relieve her when his scarf is caught in the door, knocking him out. When the store opens, instead of grabbing the TV, she helps Gil Gunderson grab a present for his granddaughter. Gil then sells it for $100 to Reverend Lovejoy. Marge is stressed about preparing for Christmas, so Homer and the kids prepare a vacation for the family at the Kissimmee St. Nick Theme Park and Resort in Florida. In order to take her there, they have to sedate her. They arrive at the resort but it was not what they expected.'Tis_the_30th_Season_promo_3The theme park is even weirder, but they all try and show Marge they are enjoying themselves. In the morning, Bart and Lisa go and complain to the manager, Jeanie. Complaining about the fake appearance on the website, she explains that she cannot compete with the big ones like Disney’s Family Guy World and blows them off. Back at the park, they go to the horrifying Tunnel of Love, the Gator Petting Zoo, and the Hall of Vice Presidents where they express their true feelings about the trip. To get their refund and go back home, Bart takes the heads of the anamatronic Vice-Presidents and leaves them under the covers of Jeanie’s bed, frightening her. After finishing the fuel, they go on foot to town and discover Moe Szyslak has been holding a dinner for the old and needy at his tavern. They join the dinner, along with Grampa Simpson. At the end, Jeanie refunds double the Simpson’s money. They buy the smart TV they wanted and watch Yule Log in HD as the episode ends.TheSimpsons_TisThe30thSeason-FOX-620x375

Not the best Christmas episode for The Simpsons, but still a fun one and another to add to the growing list of Simpsons Christmas episodes to watch for the Holiday season.

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: THE SIMPSONS CHRISTMAS EPISODES – PART 5

Simpsons-logo-1-

 

MAIN CAST (VOICES)

Dan Castellaneta (Fantastic Four)
Julie Kavner (Dr. Dolittle 2)
Nancy Cartwright (Rugrats)
Yeardley Smith (Jingle ALl The Way)
Hank Azaria (The Smurfs)
Harry Shearer (This Is Spinal Tap)

GONE BOY

GUEST STARS

Kelsey Grammer (Frasier)

Best_Scene_from_Gone_Boy

Sideshow Bob and Himself are collecting trash for community service with other men, but when they finishes the work, the Simpson family runs over it with a rental car. After finishing up the rental time and fuel, Homer goes with Bart to play, but Bart needs to pee and goes in the forest, falling down a manhole.  The family and cops start searching the forest, but the cops fail as usual. Bart finds himself in some kind of bunker, where he finds electronic equipment, which appears to be a military installment. People start looking for him, including Sideshow Bob, Shaquielle O’Neal and the other detenees.The-simpsons-season-29-episode-9-gone-boyBart tries to escape, but the ladder gives up, he finds a phone but instead of calling for help he calls Moe for a prank. Milhouse finds the entrance, but fails to help him. The news gives up hope saying he’s dead, but Milhouse fails to bring the good news, in favour of Lisa’s affection. Sideshow Bob is having issues accepting it, and Bart phones Marge confirming he’s alive. When Milhouse leaves the house, Bob appears, convincing him to bring him to Bart, with the family right behind. Bob shoves Milhouse down the manhole and then following immediatly. Homer and Grampa fail to find them once again, while Bob ties them up to a missile and tries to launch them and kill both, but he’s having regrets, and saves them, before retiring to a lighthouse, to still go crazy over killing Bart, even after saving him.JTYUJYTJTYJTYJTYAlthough not much of a Christmas episode this year, It is till fun and great to see Sideshow Bob back again. Good to add to the other Simpsons christmas episodes to marathon watch over the holidays.

 

 

 

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: THE SIMPSONS CHRISTMAS EPISODES – PART 4

maxresdefault

CAST
Dan Castellaneta (Fantastic Four)
Julia Kavner (Dr. Dolittle)
Nancy Cartwright (All Grown Up!)
Yeardley Smith (As Good As It gets)
Harry Shearer (This Is Spinal Tap)
Hank Azaria (The Smurfs)
Pamela Hayden (Hey Arnold!)
Tress MacNeille (Futurama)

GUEST CAST

Natasha Lyonne (Ameircan Pie)
Jackie Mason (Caddyshack II)

THE NIGHTMARE AFTER KRUSTMAS

4x17-a-very-crappy-christmas-south-park-21651796-500-375 At the First Church of Springfield, very few people are present at Reverend Lovejoy’s service at the fourth Sunday of Advent, and Helen calls him afterwards to meet a “fanclub”, comprised of Ned, Agnes, Sideshow Mel and The Parson, Lovejoy’s boss, that introduces him to the Patriarch, and they tell Lovejoy of summoning more people to the church, he assures them he’s going to bring people since Springfield people are a good Christian community.  Meanwhile, a pagan festival is held in town, with the Simpson family and the others attending, where Theo Jansen shows his feature attraction, the Strandbeest, wind-powered. However the Strandbeest goes wild due to the stronger winds and tramples Krusty that was skating with Sophie. At Springfield General Hospital, Krusty tries to bond with his daughter but finds out she’s Christian and she wants to celebrate Christmas. Seeing the discomfort, Marge invites the pair to spend Christmas with them.
676
Back at home, Marge brings Maggie a Gnome in Your Home, a gnome that is supposed to watch over her all the time and tell Santa Claus what she’ve been doing, he doesn’t sleep and never shuts his eyes, and Homer tells her that if she isn’t good, he’ll nibble on her fingers. Krusty arrives at the home but brings in a tv troupe to record it, angering Sophie to the point of sending him away. Meanwhile, Reverend Lovejoy tries to convince Dewey Largo and Apu to convert but fails, so he goes to Moe’s Tavern and manages to convert Krusty, who does so after seeing a tased Snake that looked like Jesus through the windows. That night, the Gnome attacks Maggie, after Homer moves her crib closer to him. He talks to her, spits out finger tips and scaring her so much she finds herself at the North Pole, where she meets Santa Claus with Jack Frost, The Abominable Snowman and Wayne Gretzky, that tells her they’ll defeat the Gnome, but he has a gun and they all run off. Maggie enters a cave which turn into the Gnome’s head and eats her.
screen-shot-2013-12-04-at-9-52-04-pm-575x317
It was all a nightmare, as Maggie gets woken up by Marge to find it was Christmas. Marge says the Gnome told her she has been good, to her surprise, and, to her horror, she says they’ll leave him in her room all year around. At the church, Lovejoy introduces the newly converted Krusty, and Sophie, seeing the change, is happy. Back at home, Maggie opens her present, and finds out its a Mrs. Gnome in Your Home. In their bedroom that night, Marge surprises Homer with a sexy santa costume, and as they get ready to get on the bed, they find that under the covers it’s full of parts from Mr. and Mrs. Gnome in Your Home, all cut, while Maggie finally goes to sleep happy. Next, Sideshow Mel introduces the Krusty the Clown Sober Contemplation Hour, where Krusty shows how much the conversion changed him, and his show, including Itchy and Scratchy to the surprise of the other kids.  Krusty gets ready for his baptismal, and while approaching Lovejoy, he cracks the ice and fells under. In the hallucination due to his suffocating brain underwater, he visits his dad in an ice castle, and talks with him about his conversion and his role of dad. He’s brought out of the water by Lovejoy, who is praised as a savior, and many people returns to church for his service. Everyone is happy, except Sideshow Mel whose girlfriend left him, and Maggie destroys more Gnomes. At the end, the Gods bicker over if Krusty, by going underwater, recieved the baptismal, while Krusty and Sophie are singing while being carried by the Strandbeest on the snow.

the_nightmare_after_krustmas_promo_6

The Simpsons come alive around Christmas, or “Krustmas” in this case, as this episode confirms that the show still has plenty relevant to say about the holiday.  The latest Christams episode is a heartwarming episode just what fans expect from the show this time of year.

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: THE SIMPSONS CHRISTMAS EPISODES – PART 3

Image result for THE SIMPSONS LOGO
CAST
Dan Castellaneta (Fantastic Four)
Julia Kavner (Dr. Dolittle)
Nancy Cartwright (All Grown Up!)
Yeardley Smith (As Good As It gets)
Harry Shearer (This Is Spinal Tap)
Hank Azaria (The Smurfs)
Pamela Hayden (Hey Arnold!)
Tress MacNeille (Futurama)

KILL GILL VOLUME I & II

The Simpson family is enjoying “Krusty’s Kristmas on Ice” (in an indoor ice rink), starring Elvis Stojko. The main act features a reindeer, a candy cane, and a snowman who are all fretting over a green monster named Grumple, who advances upon the other Christmas characters, threatening to steal their Holiday Cheer (Grumple references the “Grinch” from Dr. Seuss’ book), the characters mistakenly stumble backward over a wooden basketball court setup crew led by The Sarcastic Middle-Aged Clerk. All the Christmas characters are enraged that their show is being cut short and they begin brawling with the Utah Jazz as they try to warm up for a basketball game. Marge and the kids decide to get up and leave, and Homer is spotted down on the ice grappling with the Grumple and demanding back the Holiday Cheer. The Grumple repeatedly returns throughout the episode, wanting to kill Homer.
On Christmas Eve, the Simpsons go to Costington’s department store where a sad Lisa sits on Santa’s lap and explains the one true present she wants is the Malibu Stacy Pony Beach Party Set, which is sold out everywhere. Santa Claus, who is really Gil Gunderson (this episode reveals his last name), pities Lisa and goes back to the stockroom and finds an extra play set he had seen earlier. An overjoyed Lisa thanks Gil as a cashier rings up the sale. As Marge and the kids exit the store, an angry Mr. Costington comes out of his office and scolds at Gil for selling the Malibu Stacy play set that he had set aside for his daughter. Then When Gil refuses to take the present away from Lisa, Mr. Costington fires him. Marge and the kids witness the scene and feeling sorry for Gil, Marge invites him over for Christmas Eve dinner.
After dinner at home, Gil and the rest of the Simpson family gather around the piano and sing songs. Finishing, Gil gets up to leave; however, Marge insists he stay the night, citing how late and cold it is outside. Gil accepts Marge’s offer. On Christmas morning, Gil retrieves items from his bus locker, assuming he had a permanent spot in 742 Evergreen Terrace. Indeed, Gil’s weak demeanor and lack of job allows Marge to let him move in, and Homer is too distracted by the Grumple’s presence outside the home (where it rhymes about putting Homer’s blood in his stew) to pay much notice to Gil.
Gil begins to ruin their every holiday. However, Marge continually allows him to stay out of guilt, due to a childhood memory when Patty and Selma stuffed her in her own dollhouse when she refused to hide their cigarettes. Homer’s patience wears thin after Marge’s inability to say “no” causes Gil to walk in on Homer and Marge’s “snuggling” on Valentine’s Day, and bring his friends to sing and drink on St. Patrick’s Day. After eleven months, Marge finally agrees to say no to Gil and kick him out, only to learn from Bart and Lisa that Gil got a job in Scottsdale, Arizona, packed up his things and left that morning. Gil ends up becoming a very successful Realtor in Scottsdale. Despite the fact the Gil has already left for good, Marge wishes to go there and finally get the pleasure of saying “no” to him. After Marge’s display of anger towards him and Gil’s cowering display of weakness, the other salespeople are amused by Gil’s cowardice and Gil’s boss charges out of his office and fires Gil on the spot. Marge is horrified when she realizes that her pleasure of saying “no” just cost Gil another job.
Cut to a new home in a suburb of Scottsdale at Christmas time, the mailbox reads The Simpsons and a Jackpot Realty sold sign sits out front. Christmas carols can be heard playing inside the house. Inside on the piano, Gil leads the family in song. The episode ends with a family of Grumples arriving at the doorstep. Homer lets them in and Gil, the Simpsons and the Grumples continue happily singing their carols

ETERNAL MOONSHINE OF THE SIMPSON MIND

During winter Duffman’s blimp comes down because of the snow, a squirrel resembling Scrat from the film Ice Age is hit and throw away by groundskeeper Wille and he himself is attacked, Homer wakes up in a pile of snow and does not remember the events of the previous day, commenting that he must have drunk heavily the night before. Homer goes home and finds his family absent. Santa’s Little Helper attacks him. Homer travels to Moe’s, where Moe informs him that he was there the previous night and wanted to forget an unpleasant memory. Moe explains he gave Homer a “Forget-Me-Shot”, which wiped out the last 24 hours of his memory; the ingredients of which include Jägermeister, sloe gin, triple and quadruple sec, gunk from a dog’s eye, Absolut Pickle, the red stripe from Aquafresh toothpaste and the venom of the Louisiana loboto-moth then stirred with a home pregnancy test. Moe also gives a dose of his drink to Krusty who has just triggered a riot at an awards show when a routine went from a “Don Rickles about Arabs” to a “Mel Gibson about Mexicans!” (the Hispanic people of Springfield later decided to use Krusty’s prejudice against himself by beating him while he is packed into a piñata, despite Krusty protesting that this only reinforces stereotypes, one of the Hispanic guys clarifies that he is not Mexican, he is from Costa Rica). Chief Wiggum tells Homer that there was a domestic disturbance at his house last night, which was reported by Ned Flanders. Homer instantly receives a flashback to the night before showing Wiggum questioning Marge about a black eye she had received, to which Marge nervously replies that she walked into a door.
hqdefault
A still confused Homer goes home, where a picture of Marge causes a flashback of her pleading Homer to stop, and then rubbing her eye in pain. Horrified, Homer goes to Grampa Simpson for help. Grampa tells Homer about Professor Frink’s new machine that helps people sort through their memories. With the help of this technology, Homer sees himself walking in on Marge and Duffman in an allegedly compromising position. In the flashback, Marge tells Homer that she did not want him to find out about it, and Homer assumes that Marge was cheating on him and that Homer beat his wife as payback. Homer now considers his life to be worthless and decides to commit suicide by jumping off a bridge. He begins to reconsider, but is pushed off by his “guardian angels,” Patty and Selma. While falling, Homer’s life flashes before his eyes in the form of the YouTube video, “Noah Takes a Photo of Himself Every Day for 6 Years.” He then sees the full memory of the preceding night: Marge was planning a surprise party for Homer finishing his community service, and did not want Homer to find out about it. Duffman, who was hired by Marge to entertain at the party, brings out a bottle of Duff Champagne. Overjoyed, Homer tries to open the bottle, while Marge pleads with Homer to stop, as she wants to save it for the party. The cork flies off and hits Marge in the eye. The flashback ends and, instead of falling to his death, Homer lands on a moonbounce, which is at the surprise party on board a ship.
When Homer asks Marge why she lied to Chief Wiggum, she claims that she did not want him at the party, because he would bring Sarah Wiggum, whom Marge does not like. Lenny and Carl appear and cause a flashback which shows Homer telling his bar buddies that he felt very guilty for finding out about the party that Marge worked so hard on. When Moe offers the Forget-Me-Shot (which Moe spat in), Homer predicts exactly what is going to happen, and tells Lenny to make sure there is a moon bounce at the party. Finally, it is revealed that the dog attacked Homer because he does not take care of him.

THE FIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Guest Stars
Katy Perry (The Smurfs)
Martha Stewart (2 Broke Girls)
 The structure of the episode is similar to the structure of the Treehouse of Horror episodes, only that it is divided in four stories instead of three.

Bart’s Story

Bart stays up late on Christmas Eve to kill Santa Claus for not bringing him a dirt bike three Christmases ago. He eventually falls asleep and dreams that the Polar Express, driven by Otto Mann, lands in front of the house and flies him to the North Pole. Bart meets Santa (Krusty the Clown) only to find out that he has run out of money, since giving out presents in return for cookies every year is not a sustainable business model. Feeling pity, Bart decides that Santa no longer has to give him a dirt bike and leaves. As soon as Bart has left, Santa’s office suddenly reverts to a much more luxurious appearance, and Santa, revealing that his operation is far more lucrative than he made it seem, chuckles to himself that kids are easy to fool.

Lisa’s Story

 Lisa dreams that it is December 1944 and that Marge is a soldier in World War II. Due to Marge being taken suddenly for overseas deployment while buying a Christmas tree the previous year, Lisa has sworn to never see another Christmas tree until Marge returns home safely. However, during Christmas of 1944, the family gets a telegram saying that Marge is missing in action. After hearing the news, Lisa runs away to the place where she had last seen her mother, the Christmas Tree Farm. The owner of the place says that Marge paid for a tree the previous year but never picked it up. Lisa, believing the tree to be a symbol that Marge is alright, takes it home and decorates it together with Homer and Bart. Marge is then seen assassinating Adolf Hitler with an MP40 in a movie theater in France as he watches a propaganda film. When she walks away from the scene, the theater explodes behind her.

Marge’s Story

Marge dreams that she has sent a letter to Martha Stewart asking for her to help save the family’s Christmas. Martha promptly arrives and fills the house with the Christmas decorations Marge has always dreamed of, but the other family members end up as part of the decorations instead of being able to enjoy the holiday with her. Marge quickly realizes that it is Homer and the children that make Christmas special for her, so Martha gets rid of all the decorations with a magic wand. Marge then wakes up on Christmas Day to find that her family has brought her the ingredients for breakfast in bed. Their attempts to cook it go awry, so they go out for breakfast instead.

Maggie’s Story

Maggie dreams that the entire family has become puppets in a theater. As the Simpsons prepare for a trip to Hawaii and ask Moe to house-sit for them, Homer’s boss Mr. Burns pays a surprise visit. He soon learns that Homer has feigned a neck injury to get time off work for the trip and calls his attack hounds on him. However, only one arrives (represented by a crude sock puppet), since the show has spent its budget on Katy Perry, who appears as herself and Moe’s girlfriend. Noticing that Burns is disappointed by the lack of his attack hounds, Katy gives him a kiss. Touched by this, Burns decides to forgive the Simpsons and allows them to enjoy their trip in Hawaii, and then everyone sings a parody of “Twelve Days of Christmas” which plays during the credits. At the end of the credits, Moe attempts to kiss Katy but is not tall enough to reach her mouth, so he instead opts to kiss her bellybutton through her dress. Katy retorts that he is not kissing her bellybutton, meaning that he is actually kissing her vulva, but also says she does not want Moe to stop.

 HOLIDAYS OF FUTURE PASSED

After stuffing themselves with turkey on Thanksgiving, it is time to take the annual Christmas card family photo, and when Bart and Lisa complain about it, Marge notes that they will grow to appreciate the photos when they become older and have children of their own. Lisa questions why Marge would assume they will even have children in the first place, and the episode jumps thirty years into the future via a series of Simpsons Christmas cards. The photos finally settle on a future where Bart is a jobless, divorced dad with two sons whom he does not see often; Lisa is a successful businesswoman who is married to Milhouse and has a rebellious daughter named Zia; and Maggie is the lead singer of a famous band and in the late stages of pregnancy. In his apartment, Bart is visited by his sons, who inform him that their mother Jenda teleported them to his place because she wants him to act like a proper father by having him spend time with them. However, he plans on dropping them off at his parents’ house instead. Meanwhile, Lisa fears that Zia is spending too much of her time going into the “Ultranet”, a digital world that people enter with their consciousness by plugging themselves into a laptop. Milhouse suggests to Lisa that she spend time with Zia in order for them to have a better connection, so Lisa decides to take Zia to her parents’ house. Meanwhile, Maggie flies home from London to Springfield to celebrate Christmas with her parents.
When Bart and Lisa arrive at their parents’ home, they stay there with their children. Unfortunately for Lisa, she only gets unhelpful advice from Marge on how to be a better parent, while Zia continues to go into the Ultranet. A furious Lisa ignores it and accuses Marge of being a bad parent. She tells her belief that it’s the parents right to butt in their children’s lives regardless. Marge gets mad at Lisa for her accusations and their conflicting styles of parenting causes a rift in their relationship. Meanwhile, Bart is heartbroken to find out that Jenda has remarried while he has not found anyone new. Feeling depressed, he tells Homer to take his grandsons out. The boys become angry with their father for not spending time with them, but the two have a great time with their grandfather. Bart and Lisa then encounter each other in their old treehouse, where they become slightly drunk and talk about how difficult parenting is. Lisa admitted she had an affair with Nelson a couple of times when Milhouse was away. After exchanging inspirational advice, they realize that they need to try harder to connect with their children. Lisa comes into Marge’s room to apologize for her earlier behavior that made both of them get angry with each other. Marge understands how stressed out Lisa’s been with a lack of communication she has with Zia and finally offers her some helpful advice. Meanwhile, upon arriving in Springfield, Maggie starts experiencing contractions and Kearney, now a taxi driver, drives her to the hospital.
Homer takes Bart’s sons to a cryonics facility where Grampa has been frozen alive to prevent a disease from killing him. Although a cure has now been discovered, he is kept frozen by Homer because it is cheaper than paying for a nursing home and because Grampa has constantly been rude to him. Homer says to the boys that they should give their father another chance, since he knows Bart loves them. At that point, Bart arrives and apologizes to his sons, admitting how much he treasures them. Touched, the two boys forgive him for not having included them in his life much, while an inspired Homer decides to unfreeze Grampa and forgive him as well. Meanwhile, Lisa goes into the Ultranet to find Zia and discovers a door leading into Zia’s private world. Entering it, Lisa is overjoyed to find that Zia has hung a poster of her next to a series of posters depicting historical women who have made a difference in the world. When Zia arrives, Lisa thanks her for looking up to her and the two reconcile at last, and secretly hides her life as a party poser. With the conflicts resolved, Bart and Lisa gather their children in preparation for a new Christmas family photo. Marge arrives with Maggie, who has given birth to a baby girl. The Simpsons gather into a group just as the family pets (who have evolved greatly over the past thirty years) take the new photo.

WHITE CHRISTMAS BLUES

As Marge scolds Homer for hanging up the house’s Christmas decorations before taking down the ones for Halloween, a bored Bart and Lisa watch a television news broadcast in which Kent Brockman announces that all of America will have no snow at Christmas due to global warming. Soon, however, snow does begin to fall in Springfield; Professor Frink explains that due to the combination of radioactive steam from the nuclear power plant and airborne particulates from the city’s tire fire, it is the only location in America with snow. Mayor Quimby declares the town a tourist attraction, and the residents quickly get into the holiday spirit as out-of-town travelers quickly converge on Springfield.
Overwhelmed by the sudden crowds at the Kwik-E-Mart, and seeing the money spent by the tourists, Marge begins to feel like a failure since she cannot afford to spend lavishly on her family. As she returns to the house, a family drives past and offers to pay $300 per night to stay there. She hesitantly accepts the offer; Homer is surprised to find this other family in the house, but Marge explains the situation and persuades him to turn the house into a bed-and-breakfast for the duration of the holiday season. They take in more guests as Christmas approaches, but Marge becomes irritated at their constant requests and complaints over shoddy service and activities. On Christmas Day, Marge finds the guests gathered in the living room and thinks they are going to confront her, but instead they surprise her by singing Christmas carols.
Meanwhile, Lisa buys gifts for the family that are intended to make her feel good about herself – such as a bag of radish seeds for Homer, and a book for Bart – rather than to be something the recipients can use. She is appalled to find Bart burning the book soon afterward, but their argument leads her to see that her gift-giving effort was misguided. She sells the gift Bart gave her and buys him a tablet pre-loaded with books and apps he can enjoy, and he gives her some money to donate to charity.

I WON’T BE HOME THIS CHRISTMAS

The episode begins with Comic Book Guy and Kumiko Albertson watching the Cosmic Wars Special, with CBG expressing shock and outrage that the special actually gets worse the more he watches it, and Kumiko stating he has every right to be angry.
Homer plans to fulfill Marge’s wishes by leaving work on time and arriving home to celebrate Christmas with his family. However, he stops on the way home for a drink at Moe’s, and when he says it’s time for him to get home Moe convinces him to stay out all night on Christmas Eve at his bar when Moe admits to being lonely and depressed. Homer loses track of time and when he finally gets home, Marge is enraged at him and kicks him out, saying she does not want him in the house on Christmas. Homer then leaves on an odyssey through a deserted and chilly Springfield, with Moe compounding his sadness by avoiding him when Homer shows up to try and talk to him (and to add insult to injury, Homer’s car gets towed with his cell phone frozen inside it). Meanwhile, Marge becomes depressed without Homer, but tells Bart and Lisa that she is disinclined to forgive him. At that point, Moe climbs down the 742 Evergreen Terrace chimney for some reason and tells Marge the truth about why Homer was out late on Christmas Eve. Marge immediately tries to call Homer, but as he lost his phone, she ends up going out to look for him. Homer ends up at the miserable local movie theatre to watch a depressing Life is Beautiful-type of film about other lost souls like Kirk Van Houten, the Crazy Cat Lady, and of course Gil.
After Marge searches through the city and Homer ends up at a depressing party for mall workers, they each have epiphanies: Homer says that being without his family at Christmas is much worse than being with them, and Marge says that she shouldn’t always assume Homer is doing stupid things for no reasons. The two finally reconcile and look forward to a happy new year.
More seasons of The Simpsons means more Christmas episodes, this batch are all good in there own way, the best being the Fight Before Christmas where you meet to see Katy Perry interacting with puppet versions of the Simpsons. I won’t be Home for Christmas is a heart warming tale. The Simpsons Christmas episodes are always good to watch around Xmas and with so many to watch you can have hours of fun.