REVIEW: SHARK WEEK

CAST

Yancy Butler (Kick-Ass)
Patrick Bergin (The Lawnmowerman 2)
Joshua Michael Allen (Dog-Eared)
Bart Baggett (Family Therapy)
Erin Coker (13/13/13)

7687328070_ce8dbff65c_hFor The Asylum, Shark Week is not their worst or quite awful enough to be one of them. That doesn’t stop it though from being a complete failure in every area, and that’s even when you know what to expect. Some of the locations are nice and exotic but others also look as though they were shot in a run-down warehouse or basement. That cheap look is made even worse by the choppy editing and terrible special effects.250947_originale_bgIf you’ve seen the quality of the sharks in other Asylum or SyFy movies that are similar, it’s pretty much the same in Shark Week, the sharks are so cheaply rendered and not only don’t look real but they don’t look natural in their surroundings. They also don’t have any personality either, which severely dilutes any terror or tension, the actors don’t even look all that terrified when really the situation would be scary for anybody. The music is at a very sluggish tempo especially in the scenes containing action, the scoring of the build-ups to the attacks is predictable. The dialogue has always been one of the weakest aspects of an Asylum movie, and there is no change here as this is very cheesy and stilted scripting. And you don’t connect with any of the characters, as with everything else Shark Week doesn’t give time to develop them or you the time to properly root for them. maxresdefaultThe story just doesn’t seem to have any life, Shark Week is very poorly paced throughout, the action shows the worst of the editing and lifeless choreography and the shark attacks suffer from a complete lack of tension and visual cheapness. The acting is very bad too, Patrick Bergin and Yancy Butler are far too over-the-top and don’t make any effort to reign in and give their characters depth or any quality that makes you connect with them. While the acting of victims are wooden with nobody seeming to properly care about whether they lived or died. Overall, dull, cheap and not much fun at all, more avoided than recommended.

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REVIEW: KICK-ASS 2

CAST

Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Godzilla)
Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad)
Chloë Grace Moretz (Carrie)
Clark Duke (Two and a Half Men)
Morris Chestnut (V)
Jim Carrey (Ace Ventura)
Donald Faison (Skyline)
John Leguizamo (Spawn)
Augustus Prew (Charlie St. Cloud)
Garrett M. Brown (Roswell)
Iain Glen (Game of Thrones)
Lindy Booth (Odyssey 5)
Robert Emms (War Horse)
Steven Mackintosh (The Sweeney)
Yancy Butler (Witchblade)
Lyndsy Fonseca (How I Met Your Mother)
Sophie Wu (Wild Child)

Dave Lizewski, bored after having retired from fighting crime as Kick-Ass, begins training with Hit-Girl Mindy Macready to become a real hero. Following the death of his father, Chris D’Amico accidentally kills his own mother by short-circuiting her tanning bed; she had been in denial about her husband’s death. Now in control of his father’s criminal empire, Chris finds an S&M outfit, deciding to become supervillain The Motherfucker, swearing vengeance on Kick-Ass.Mindy’s guardian, Marcus, discovers she is still fighting crime and makes her promise to give it up. Dave’s girlfriend, Katie Deauxma, has noticed Dave behaving strangely and breaks up with him, believing he is cheating on her with Mindy (she also reveals she has cheated on him). Dave resumes his life as Kick-Ass, joining the superhero team Justice Forever (whom Dave had inspired), led by Colonel Stars and Stripes. It includes Battle Guy (Dave’s friend, Marty), Dr. Gravity, Insect Man, Night-Bitch, and the parents of a missing child named Tommy. Kick-Ass begins a sexual relationship with Night Bitch. He and Marty try to get their friend Todd involved with heroics, but instead alienate him by calling his chosen identity, Ass Kicker, a blatant copy of Kick-Ass.Mindy, attempting to lead a normal life, tries out for the dance team at school, impressing the audience with her audition. Dave tries to convince Mindy to join Justice Forever, but she refuses, and promptly asks a boy to take her on a date. The date ends up as a cruel prank planned by bullies in her school, leaving Mindy abandoned in the forest to walk home alone. Dave consoles the tearful Mindy and encourages her to beat the bullies at their own game. The next day, Mindy does so with verbal put-downs and a specially designed shock baton that makes the bullies vomit and soil themselves in the cafeteria, resulting in her suspension from school.Dave’s father discovers Dave is Kick-Ass after finding his superhero costume, and they have an argument which leads Dave to leave home. Meanwhile, The Motherfucker assembles a gang of supervillains called the Toxic Mega Cunts and establishes an underground lair, including a tank with a live shark. Growing ever more deranged after his imprisoned uncle has his aide Javier killed in order to teach him a lesson, the Motherfucker ambushes Colonel Stars and Stripes in the Justice Forever headquarters and has his henchwoman Mother Russia decapitate him before taunting Justice Forever on Twitter. He then tracks down Night-Bitch and attempts to rape her to anger Kick-Ass, though he is unable to reach an erection in time as the authorities arrive, and instead has her beaten. When police arrive, Mother Russia kills all of the officers, resulting in a police clampdown on both costumed villains and vigilantes. When the police track Dave through his IP address, Dave’s father claims he, not Dave, is Kick-Ass, getting himself arrested in Dave’s place.The Motherfucker, unconvinced the real Kick-Ass has been caught, learns from Todd, who had inadvertently joined The Motherfucker’s group, that the man identified as being Kick-Ass is actually his father. The Motherfucker has Mr. Lizewski beaten to death in jail by his contacts there and sends a photograph to Dave, revealing his true identity as Chris D’Amico. A grief-stricken Dave vows to abandon his Kick-Ass identity, as he had promised his father. At his father’s funeral, The Motherfucker’s gang ambushes and kidnaps Dave. Mindy pursues their van and rescues Dave, and then convinces him to confront The Motherfucker.Dave, now wearing Big Daddy’s body armour over his Kick-Ass costume, and his vigilante friends attack the villains’ lair, where a brawl ensues. Hit-Girl is pitted against Mother Russia, who initially seems to overwhelm the outclassed Hit-Girl. However, Hit-Girl tricks Mother Russia into injecting her with a syringe of adrenaline, which gives her the strength to defeat her. Fighting on a rooftop, The Motherfucker nearly falls through a skylight, but Kick-Ass grabs him. The Motherfucker refuses help and falls, landing in his own shark tank, where he is mauled and left for dead.Justice Forever decides to take a break from its superhero duties, helping people in their ordinary lives instead for the time being with the promise to return to them one day. Mindy tells Dave that because she is wanted for murder, she is leaving New York, but that the citizens need Kick-Ass. She kisses him before departing. Dave accepts the responsibility and begins training and upgrading his equipment, and a metal Kick-Ass helmet is shown before cutting to credits. In a post-credits scene, Chris, who has survived the shark attack, and whose legs were bitten off by the shark, complains for attention.Kick-Ass 2 was definitely a film for the fans, if you aren’t familiar with the Kick-Ass series then this movie wouldn’t be for you. Having said that I am a fan of the comics and this movie was awesome. The fight scenes were crazy and Hit-Girl always runs the show.

REVIEW: KICK-ASS

CAST

Aaron Taylor-Johnson (Godzilla)
Mark Strong (Grimsby)
Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad)
Chloë Grace Moretz (Carrie)
Nicolas Cage (Ghost Rider)
Lyndsy Fonseca (How I Met Your Mother)
Clark Duke (Two and a Half Men)
Evan Peters (X-Men: Apocalypse)
Sophie Wu (Wild Child)
Omari Hardwick (Gridion Gang)
Michael Rispoli (Snake Eyes)
Dexter Fletcher (Band of Brothers)
Jason Flemyng (Solomon Kane)
Xander Berkeley (Justice)
Garrett M. Brown (Roswell)
Yancy Butler (Witchblade)

Dave Lizewski is an ordinary teenager who lives in Staten Island, New York. Inspired by comic books, Dave plans to become a real-life superhero. He purchases and modifies a bodysuit, and arms himself with batons. During his first outing, he gets stabbed and then hit by a car. After recovering, he gains a capacity to endure pain and enhanced durability.In his absence from school, a rumor spreads that he is gay, as he was found naked by the paramedics after discarding his costume. As a result, his longtime crush, Katie Deauxma, immediately attempts to become his friend. Unhappy with the misunderstanding, Dave nevertheless appreciates the opportunity to get closer to Katie. Dave returns to crime-fighting and gains notoriety after intervening in a gang attack. Calling himself “Kick-Ass”, he sets up a Myspace account where he can be contacted for help. Responding to a request from Katie, he confronts a drug dealer, Rasul, who has been harassing her. At Rasul’s place, Kick-Ass is quickly overwhelmed by Rasul’s thugs. Before they can kill him, two costumed vigilantes, Hit-Girl and her father, Big Daddy, intervene, easily slaughter the thugs and leave with their money. After coming home, Dave realizes he is in over his head, and plans to give up crime-fighting. However, Hit-Girl and Big Daddy pay him a visit and encourage him.Big Daddy’s real identity is Damon Macready, formerly an honest cop. Framed by Mafia boss Frank D’Amico, he was jailed. His wife committed suicide, leaving behind his daughter Mindy. Against the protest of his former partner Marcus Williams, Damon trains himself and Mindy as preparation for getting revenge on Frank. They have been undermining Frank’s operations by raiding his warehouses, robbing his money and destroying his drugs. Frank believes Kick-Ass is responsible for the attacks and targets him, impulsively killing a party entertainer who is dressed like Kick-Ass. Frank’s son, Chris, suggests a different approach. He poses as a new vigilante, “Red Mist,” and befriends Kick-Ass. He plans to lure Kick-Ass into Frank’s lumber warehouse and unmask him. However, they find the warehouse on fire and Frank’s men dead. Red Mist retrieves a hidden camera he earlier placed in the warehouse, and sees Big Daddy kill the men and burn the warehouse. Red Mist and Kick-Ass part ways. D’Amico watches the footage and learns of Big Daddy and Hit-Girl.Following the event, Dave decides to quit being Kick-Ass. He reveals his identity to Katie, and clears up the misunderstanding about him being gay. She forgives him and becomes his girlfriend. However, Red Mist contacts him again, and tricks him into revealing Big Daddy and Hit-Girl’s location. At one of Big Daddy’s safe houses, Red Mist shoots Hit-Girl out of a window, and Frank’s men capture Big Daddy and Kick-Ass. Frank intends to have his thugs torture and execute his captives in a live Internet broadcast. While Kick-Ass and Big Daddy are being beaten by Frank’s gangsters, Hit-Girl, having survived the shooting, storms the hideout and kills all of the gangsters. During the fight, one thug sets Big Daddy on fire. Damon and Mindy say a tearful farewell before he dies of his injuries.Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl resolve to defeat Frank D’Amico once and for all. Hit-Girl infiltrates Frank’s headquarters, and kills numerous guards and henchmen before running out of bullets. When she is cornered by the thugs, Kick-Ass arrives on a jet pack fitted with miniguns and kills the remaining thugs. Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl then take on Frank and Red Mist. Kick-Ass fights Red Mist and they knock each other out. Frank overpowers an exhausted Hit-Girl. Before he can kill her, Kick-Ass regains consciousness and shoots him with a bazooka. Frank is blasted out of the window and explodes in mid-air. Dave and Mindy retire from crime-fighting. Marcus becomes Mindy’s guardian, and she enrolls at Dave’s school. Meanwhile, Chris D’Amico sits in his father’s office, dressed in an upgraded suit. Facing the camera, he says, “as a wise man once said, wait’ll they get a load of me,” before firing a gun at the audience.Kick-Ass is not perfect, and it will not cater to everyone’s tastes, but it is easily one of the most fun films of 2010.