REVIEW: KILLER CONDOM

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CAST

Udo Samel (The Piano Teacher)
Peter Lohmeyer (Capelli Code)
Iris Berben (Rosa Roth)
Leonard Lasin (Wilsberg)
Marc Richter (Mek 8)

This trashy masterpiece is based on a cartoon by the great German cartoonist Ralf König (he is still quite unknown outside his home country and especially in the US for some reason). Your typical hardboiled, cynical, chain-smoking trench-coat wearing Italian detective stalks the street of New York. Only this one is openly gay, and is famous for his enormous…”schwanstucker”. At the Hotel Quickie in his district, an alarming number of men have lost theirs. Over-eager hookers are first suspected, but our hero soon discovers the truth when he goes to the hotel and almost loses his – to a condom with teeth! Who may be behind this fiendish creature, and how is detective Macaroni going to convince others of the existence of this killer contraceptive before it strikes again?

Unlike most Troma films this film actually have a rather good and coherent  plot. It is a satirical comedy that is actually played straight for the most part. For being a European film it actually had quite a big budget. It is also interesting to notice that lots of famous German actors and celebrities clamoured to get roles in this film that would have made Hollywood stars run away in terror screaming. The bearish and openly gay actor Udo Samel who stars as detective Macaroni has previously played in famous German masterpieces such as Far Away So Close and Kasper Hauser.  There is no frontal nudity but there are some sex scenes that might offend.killercondom_1000_420_90_c1The DVD version includes some nice animated menus, some Troma extras and a great comment track by the director and special effects supervisor. There are lots of funny anecdotes about the directors claiming to be making a documentary so they will get permission to film in famous locations, police officers closing off New York streets for hours, stunts that went horribly wrong, and all the gruesome scenes that were cut. “. The second half of the movie is unfortunately less polished than the first because the makers ran out of time and money. Lots of scenes were cut from the second half, which makes some subplots a little confusing, but the directors admit that the film would probably have been even better if some more stuff had been cut from the last half since the ending manages to be both slowly paced and confusing. However, it is still a good film and I can recommend it if you are a fan of trashy entertainment.

REVIEW: DEF BY TEMPTATION

CAST

James Bond III (School Daze)
Kadeem Hardison (White men Can’t Jump)
Bill Nunn (Spider-Man)
Samuel L. Jackson (Iron Man)
Cynthia Bond (Higher Education)
Minnie Gentry (Bad Lieutenant)

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The story is set in New York: the main storyline revolves around two friends who move in together. One of them meets a seemingly perfect woman (Cynthia Bond) who, in secret, kills all the men who she sleeps with. She is a succubus type demon who seeks blood and vengeance against men foolish enough to be tempted by her.

The audience is first given a taste of the vampire’s powers when she kills a local in the public house, where the main story is played. After questions are asked, the main character, known as Joel (James Bond III) falls for her and is, despite his insightful religious friend’s advice, killed by her. However, the religious friend eventually kills the woman through brandishing his cross and stabbing her in the heart. At first Dougy (Bill Nunn) and K (Kadeem Hardison) go to visit Madam Sonia (Melba Moore), a woman who gives them advice and tells them exactly what they are dealing with but then ends up getting possessed by the temptress which then scares both Dougy and K, forcing them to run out of the building.defbytemptationLater on, Dougy and K go to the bar and ask the bar tender who is outside of the bar emptying the rubbish in the trash bins to put holy water into the temptress’s drink since she was the only one in the bar and then get out of there. After the temptress drinks the holy water she begins to cough violently and collapses on the ground, making Dougy And K take the moment and try to kill the temptress using a blade, but end up failing since the temptress uses her magic to make the blade go the other way round. Then, one by one, Dougy and K die. Later on, when Joel goes to the Temptress’s apartment, not knowing what evil he was dealing with, she kisses him but then Joel faints and wakes up in his own bed. He knows that something is very wrong when his deceased father (Samuel L. Jackson) strangles him but in reality it’s the temptress. Then suddenly Joel’s grandmother comes and tries to hit the temptress, distracting her long enough for Joel to get up and use his cross and kill the temptress.

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However, the twist at the end reveals that one of the main characters, another pub local, has survived the woman’s wrath and is now a vampire, instead a male version. This transformation is made clear to the audience through his saying “You should use a cigarette lighter next time. The flame lasts longer” — the saying the female vampire used to say. Exceptionally well made considering it’s minuscule budget thanks to cinematographer Ernest Dickerson’s amazing, imaginative camera-work. The acting is off at times, providing some awkward moments, but the direction is potent enough to hold interest.  James Bond III is weak in the lead, but has enough charismatic supporters around him to sell the picture.