HALLOWEEN OF HORROR REVIEW: THIRTEEN GHOSTS

CAST

Tony Shalhoub (Imposter)
Matthew Lillard (Scream)
Embeth Davidtz (Army of Darkness)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Alec Roberts (Traffic)
F. Murray Abraham (Scarface)
JR Bourne (Stargate SG.1)
Laura Mennell (Van Helsing)
John DeSantis (Arrow)

91IMwjKSa8L._AC_SL1500_Ghost hunter Cyrus Kriticos (F. Murray Abraham) and his psychic assistant Dennis Rafkin (Matthew Lillard) lead a team on a mission to capture a spirit called the Juggernaut (John deSantis). Several men are killed, apparently including Cyrus. However, the team is able to catch the ghost. Cyrus’s nephew Arthur (Tony Shalhoub), a widower, is informed by Cyrus’s estate lawyer, Ben Moss (JR. Bourne), that he has inherited Cyrus’ mansion. Financially insecure, Arthur decides to move there with his two children, Kathy (Shannon Elizabeth) and Bobby (Alec Roberts) and their nanny Maggie (Rah Digga).
entertainmentfilm-EBR5092EFi-Full-Image_GalleryBackground-en-GB-1481937189220._SX1080_Posing as a power company inspector, Dennis meets the family and Moss as they tour the mansion. The residence is made entirely of glass sheets inscribed with Latin phrases, which Dennis recognizes as barrier spells. While searching the basement, Dennis is hit by psychic flashes and discovers the twelve angry ghosts he and Cyrus captured are imprisoned in the house, held captive by the spells. As Dennis warns Arthur, Moss slips downstairs and picks up a valise of cash, unwittingly triggering a mechanism that seals the house and releases the ghosts one by one. He dies when a set of sliding doors snaps shut, cutting him in half. Bobby slips away from Kathy and Maggie and enters the basement, where he sees several of the ghosts, including that of the Withered Lover – his mother Jean, who had died of injuries sustained in a house fire. He is knocked unconscious and dragged away.
MV5BMjE2NDYxNzczMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNTUzNTIxNzE@._V1_Using a pair of spectral glasses that allow the wearer to see into the supernatural realm, Dennis convinces Maggie that the ghosts are real. Dennis discovers that the Jackal, one of the most dangerous of the twelve ghosts, has been released and that the family is now in grave danger. The Jackal attacks Kathy when she and Arthur enter the basement in search of Bobby, but they are saved by Kalina Oretzia (Embeth Davidtz), a spirit liberator who is attempting to free the ghosts. Kathy disappears soon afterward, and the four adults gather in the library, where Arthur learns that Jean’s spirit is trapped in the house. Kalina explains that the house is a machine, powered by the captive ghosts, that can allow its user to see the past, present, and future. The only way to shut it down, she says, is through the creation of a thirteenth ghost from a sacrifice of pure love. Arthur realizes that he must become that ghost by dying to save his children.
MV5BMTgwNDA1ODg5MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTYwNjI0Nzc3._V1_Armed with a pane of the special glass, Arthur and Dennis enter the basement to find the children. Dennis barricades Arthur into a corner behind the glass and allows two ghosts, the Hammer and the Juggernaut, to beat and kill him. Cyrus faked his death to lure Arthur to the house; Kalina is his secret partner. Cyrus has orchestrated the abduction of Kathy and Bobby so that Arthur will become the thirteenth ghost, which will not stop the machine as Kalina had claimed, but trigger its activation. Cyrus kills Kalina and summons the ghosts to activate the machine.
MV5BZDdlOTFiZmMtYzVlMi00NzQ0LTgzYjgtODA3N2NkNjUxNWUyXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMDAyMTY3Nw@@._V1_Arthur arrives at the main hall and witnesses all twelve ghosts orbiting a clockwork device of rotating metal rings, with his children at the center. Discovering Cyrus’ true fate, Arthur fights Cyrus while Maggie disrupts the machine’s controls. The ghosts hurl Cyrus into the rings, slicing him to pieces. With the encouragement of Dennis’ ghost, Arthur jumps into the machine, avoiding the rings and saving his children. The walls of the house shatter as the malfunctioning machine rips itself apart, freeing the ghosts. Dennis smiles at Arthur and departs, and Jean’s ghost appears before the family and tells them that she loves them before she and all the other ghosts disappear. As the family leaves the house, Maggie exclaims that she is quitting.MV5BYzEzMjgyMzUtYmFlNC00NTYxLThmMDQtOGIyYzE5MjA0NzBhL2ltYWdlXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTM2MzAwOA@@._V1_This is a good movie from start to finish it has humor and scares in it all around good cast so check it out worth owning.

 

REVIEW: MEN IN BLACK 2

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CAST

Will Smith (Suicide Squad)
Tommy Lee Jones (Batman Forever)
Rip Torn (Robocop 3)
Lara Flynn Boyle (Afterglow)
Johnny Knoxville (The Ringer)
Rosario Dawson (Daredevil)
Tony Shalhoub (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Patrick Warburton (Get Smart)
Jack Kehler (The Big Lebowski)
David Cross (Scary Movie 2)
Colombe Jacobsen (Chef)
Michael Jackson (The Simpsons)
Martha Stewart (2 Broke Girls)
Peter Graves (Airplane)
Lenny Venito (The Neighbors)
Doug Jones (Hellboy)

Five years after the retirement of Agent K (Jones) from MIB, the secret New York City-based agency that monitors and regulates extraterrestrials residing on Earth, Agent J (Smith)—K’s former partner and hand-picked replacement—is called to investigate the murder of an alien, Ben (Jack Kehler), at his pizzeria. The waitress, Laura Vasquez (Rosario Dawson), tells him that the murderers were Serleena (Lara Flynn Boyle), a shapeshifting Kylothian who has taken the form of a lingerie model, and her two-headed servant Scrad (Johnny Knoxville). Laura says they were looking for something called the Light of Zartha. J is strongly attracted to Laura, and in violation of MIB rules, does not neuralyze her to erase her memories of the aliens—and of him.J finds that little is known about the Light of Zartha, except that it is immensely powerful. As he investigates the crime, every lead points to his mentor, Agent K—who was neuralyzed when he retired, and remembers nothing of his MIB service. In Truro, Massachusetts, where K is now the town’s postmaster, J explains this, and convinces him by proving that all of his fellow postal workers are aliens. Back in New York City, Serleena and Scrad launch an attack on MIB headquarters before K’s neuralyzation can be reversed; fortunately, Jack Jeebs (Tony Shalhoub) has an illegal deneuralyzer in his basement. K regains his memories, but it’s not enough: Years before, he neuralyzed himself, specifically to erase what he knew of the Light of Zartha, and those memories have not returned—but as a precaution, he left himself a series of clues.At the pizzeria, they find a locker key. J hides Laura, who fears for her safety, with the worm aliens from the first movie. The key opens a locker in Grand Central Station where a society of tiny aliens, who worship K as their deity, guard their most sacred relics: K’s wristwatch and video store membership card. K recovers both, to the aliens’ horror, but J gives them his watch as a replacement, and becomes their new deity. At the video store, as J and K watch a fictionalized story of the Light of Zartha, K remembers: The Zarthan Queen Laurana long ago entrusted MIB with safeguarding the Light from her nemesis, Serleena, who followed Laurana to Earth and killed her. After hiding the Light, K neuralyzed himself to ensure that he would never reveal its hiding place. K still cannot remember where he hid it, nor what the Light actually looks like; he does remember that it must return to Zartha soon, or both Earth and Zartha will be destroyed.At the worms’ apartment, they find that Laura has been kidnapped by Serleena, who believes that Laura’s bracelet is the Light. J, K, and the worms counterattack MIB headquarters, freeing Laura and the other agents. Serleena attempts to retaliate but is eaten by Jeff, a gigantic worm alien living in the New York Subway. Laura’s bracelet leads J and K to the roof of a skyscraper where a ship stands ready to transport the Light back to Zartha. At last, they realize why it rains whenever Laura is sad: she is the daughter of Laurana—and is herself the Light. K convinces J and Laura that she must go to Zartha, to save both her planet and Earth from destruction. Serleena, who has assimilated Jeff and taken his form, attempts to snatch the ship carrying Laura as it lifts off, but J and K blast her out of the sky. Since all of New York City has just witnessed this battle in the skies over the metropolis, K initiates a giant neuralyzer in the torch of the Statue of Liberty.Back at headquarters, K and MIB Chief Zed (Rip Torn), hoping to cheer up a heartbroken J, have relocated the tiny locker-dwelling aliens who worship him to his MIB locker. When J suggests showing the miniature creatures that their universe is bigger than a locker, K shows J that the human universe is itself a locker within an immense alien train station.Men in Black 2 is not fantastic as the first movie, but it is a good and entertaining movie to be watched anyway

REVIEW: MEN IN BLACK

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CAST

Will Smith (Suicide Squad)
Tommy Lee Jones (Batman Forever)
Linda Fiorentino (Dogma)
Vincent D’Onofrio (Jurassic World)
Rip Torn (Robocop 3)
Tony Shalhoub (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Siobhan Fallon Hogan (Forrest Gump)
Mike Nussbaum (Field of Dreams)
Jon Gries (Get Shorty)
Sergio Calderón (Pure Luck)
Carel Struycken (The Addams Family)
Fredric Lehne (lost)
David Cross (Scary Movie 2)
Sean Whalen (Superstore)
Verne Troyer (Austin Powers)
Danny DeVito (Batman Returns)
Debbie Lee Carrington (Total Recall)
David Cross (Ghost World)

Alien refugees live in secret on Earth, disguised as humans. Men in Black is a secret agency that polices these aliens, protects the Earth from intergalactic threats and uses memory-erasing neuralyzers to keep alien activity a secret from the public. Men in Black agents have all traces of their former identities erased and retired agents are neuralyzed and given new identities.NYPD officer James Darrell Edwards III pursues a supernaturally fast and agile suspect in New York City. Men in Black agent K interviews James about his encounter, then neuralyzes him and leaves him a business card with an address. Edwards goes to the address and undergoes a series of tests, for which he finds unusual solutions. While the other candidates are neuralyzed, K offers Edwards a position with the Men in Black. Edwards accepts and his identity is erased, becoming Agent J, the newest Men in Black recruit.In upstate New York, an alien crash-lands and kills a farmer named Edgar to use his skin as a disguise. The alien goes into a New York restaurant and kills two aliens disguised as humans. He steals from them a container, searching for something, but finds only diamonds inside. After investigating the crash landing at the farm, K concludes that Edgar’s skin was taken by a “bug”, a species of aggressive cockroach-like aliens. He and J head to a morgue to examine the bodies the bug killed. Inside one body they discover a dying Arquillian alien, who says that “the galaxy is on Orion’s belt”. The alien, who used the name Rosenberg, was a member of the Arquillian royal family. K fears his death may spark war.Men in Black informant Frank the Pug, an alien disguised as a dog, explains that the missing galaxy is a massive energy source housed in a small jewel. J deduces that the galaxy is hanging on the collar of Rosenberg’s cat Orion, which refuses to leave the body at the morgue. J and K arrive just as the bug takes the galaxy and kidnaps the coroner, Laurel Weaver. The Arquillians deliver an ultimatum to Men in Black: return the galaxy within a “galactic standard week”, or an hour of Earth time, or they will destroy Earth.The bug arrives at the observation towers of the New York State Pavilion at Flushing Meadows, which disguise two flying saucers, where Laurel escapes its clutches. It escapes on one saucer, but K and J shoot it down. The bug sheds Edgar’s skin and swallows J and K’s guns. K provokes it until he too is swallowed. The bug tries to escape on the other ship, but J slows it down by taunting it and crushing cockroaches, angering it. K blows the bug apart from the inside, having found his gun inside its stomach. J and K recover the galaxy and are about to be attacked by the bug again but Laurel shoots it with J’s gun. At Men in Black headquarters, K tells J that he has not been training him as a partner but a replacement. K bids J farewell before he neuralyzes him at his request; K returns to his civilian life and Laurel becomes J’s new partner, L.Men in Black is a fast-paced action-comedy that over-achieves the whole way. Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith make an amazing comedy team as the title characters who protect the Earth from the scum of the universe. Everything is tongue-in-cheek and the whole film works in a really great way. A great film that benefits from its characters and amazing special effects. .

HALLOWEEN OF HORROR REVIEW: ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES

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CAST

Anjelica Huston (50/50)
Raul Julia (Street Fighter)
Christopher Lloyd (Back To The Future)
Christina Ricci (Lizzie Borden Took An Axe)
Jimmy Workman (As Good AS It Gets)
Joan Cusack (Working Girl)
Carol Kane (Gotham)
Carel Struycken (The Witches of Eastwick)
David Krumholtz (Serenity)
Dana Ivey (Two Weeks Notice)
Christopher Hart (Idle Hands)
Peter MacNicol (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)
Christine Baranski (The Big Bang Theory)
John Franklin (Children of The Corn)
Mercedes McNab (Angel)
Cynthia Nixon (Sex and the City)
David Hyde Pierce (Hellboy)
Peter Graves (Airplane)
Monet Mazur (Just Married)
Ian Abercrombie (Birds of Prey)
Tony Shalhoub (Men in Black)
Sam McMurray (Drop Dead Gorgeous)
Nathan Lane (The Producers)

addams-family-values-DI-2One of the rare sequels that actually equals the output of the first film, “Addams Family Values” shows the material still has enough not yet mined for a second picture – it works. I wouldn’t think of doing another one of these pictures, but “Addams Family Values” manages to be successful, mainly due to the return of director Barry Sonnenfeld, who gets the tone and humor exactly right. Not only that, but he even has a small role in the picture.
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The film starts off with Morticia(Angelica Huston) announcing that she’s going to have a baby. “Right now”, she says, in her usual deadpan manner. Taking enjoyment in the pain of delivery, the Addams soon have another member of the family, which they name Pubert. They find the need for a nanny to take care of the new addition, and Debbie Jalinsky(Joan Cusack) arrives. At first, she seems like the perfect nanny. She’s good with the children and doesn’t seem to mind the upside-down world the Addams live in.

Soon though, her intentions are revealed. She marries rich men and her newest target is Fester(Chistopher Lloyd). While the gags during the early portion of the film when the baby is new in the house are funny, there are a number of equally funny moments when the two kids are sent to Summer camp.addams-family-value-stillIt’s a very funny movie and a solid sequel, proving that the characters had enough good material to make a second movie work.

REVIEW: TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES: OUT OF THE SHADOWS

 

CAST

Megan Fox (New Girl)
Will Arnett (Blades of Glory)
Laura Linney (The Truman Show)
Stephen Amell (Arrow)
Alan Ritchson (Smallville)
Noel Fisher (Agent COdy Banks)
Jeremy Howard (The Haunted Mansion)
Peter Ploszek (Teen Wolf)
Tyler Perry (Gone Girl)
Brian Tee (Jurassic World)
Stephen Farrelly (No Way Out)
Gary Anthony Williams (The Internship)
Tony Shalhoub (Men In Black)
Brad Garrett (The Crazy Ones)
Brittany Ishibashi  (Runaways)
Dean Winters (Terminator: TSCC)

One year after their battle with Shredder, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, and Michelangelo, still live beneath the sewers, having allowed Vern Fenwick to take the credit for Shredder’s defeat. April O’Neil discovers that a scientist named Baxter Stockman is working for Shredder and that he plans to help Shredder escape from prison. April informs the turtles about this. As Shredder is transferred between prisons with two criminals alongside him, Bebop and Rocksteady, by corrections officer Casey Jones, the Foot Clan attack the convoy transporting him. Despite the turtles interference, Shredder escapes when Stockman uses a teleportation device. But Shredder is hijacked mid-teleport and winds up in another dimension.There, he meets the alien warlord Krang, who tells him about his plans to invade Earth and gives him a mutagenic compound in exchange for his promise to find three components of a machine that Krang sent to Earth long ago, which will open a portal to his dimension when united, and he knows that Shredder and Stockman have the first piece. At the NYPD Casey tells the chief what happened but the chief doesn’t believe him. he decides to go out on his own.

Shredder returns to New York City and recruits Bebop and Rocksteady, who also escaped, and has Stockman use Krang’s mutagen to transform them into powerful animal mutants—a humanoid warthog and rhinoceros. April witnesses their transformation and is able to steal the vial of mutagen. Pursued by the Foot, she is rescued by Casey, who uses hockey gear. In the ensuing battle, the vial of mutagen is taken into police custody. April then introduces Casey to the turtles, and Raphael and Michelangelo make fun of him and pull pranks on him.In the lair, Donatello deduces that the mutagen could be used to turn the turtles into humans, enabling them to live normal lives above ground, but Leonardo refuses and insists on keeping it a secret from the others. However, Michelangelo overhears their conversation and tells Raphael, which enrages Raphael and leading to a fierce argument between the brothers.Leonardo benches Raphael and takes Michelangelo off the mission. In the National Museum in New York, Shredder, Bebop, and Rocksteady are able to find the second piece and steal it, before Leonardo and Donatello arrive. Still furious, Raphael recruits Michelangelo, April, Casey, and Vern to break into the NYPD police headquarters and retrieve the mutagen.Vern distracts the police, while April and Casey retrieve the mutagen, but the Foot arrive ahead of them. In the ensuing battle, the turtles existence is revealed to the police, who react with fear and hatred. April and Casey intervene and help the brothers escape, but April and Casey are arrested. The police also see on TCRI’s cameras that April stole the mutagen, however Stockman edits the tape so that Bebop and Rocksteady’s mutations aren’t seen.

With Shredder’s forces having already recovered two pieces of the device, the turtles track Bebop and Rocksteady as they recover the final piece in the rainforests of Manaus, Brazil. The turtles confront Bebop and Rocksteady in their jet and in the ensuing battle, the jet is destroyed. After the Turtles battle with Bebop in a river for control of the piece, Rocksteady emerges in a tank and helps Bebop escape with the piece. The turtles return to New York as Shredder and Stockman complete the portal device and open the gateway to Krang’s dimension, through which his modular war machine, the Technodrome, begins to emerge. Shredder betrays Stockman and has his men take him away to their headquarters in Tokyo, but upon entering the Technodrome, Krang immediately betrays Shredder, freezing him and locking him away with his collection of other defeated foes.

Seeing no way to reach the Technodrome with the police pursuing them, the turtles debate over taking the mutagen in order to become humans and fight openly. Though Leonardo agrees to do it, Raphael shatters the vial, realizing they must accept who they are. Upon April’s request, Vern recovers security footage from TCRI that proves Stockman’s and Shredder’s complicity and secures April and Casey’s release, allowing them to set up a meeting between the turtles and police chief Rebecca Vincent, where they convince her that they are not enemies and that they were the ones who took down Shredder in the first place. With the help of the police, the turtles are able to confront Krang aboard the still-assembling Technodrome. Although Krang is able to overpower all 4 turtles easily, the Turtles manage to defeat him when Donatello short circuts Krang’s robotic body. Meanwhile, Casey keeps Bebop and Rocksteady busy and defeats them by locking them in a crate full of grenades, while April and Vern defeat Shredder’s lieutenant Karai and take control of the portal device. The turtles are able to hurl the beacon back through the portal, taking Krang and the rest of the Technodrome with it. April, Casey, and Vern then shut the portal down. As he disappears, Krang swears he will return for revenge.

In the aftermath, Bebop and Rocksteady are taken back into custody, while Stockman remains at large. At night, the Turtles are honored by Vincent and the NYPD, along with April, Casey, and Vern, and gives the turtles golden keys to the city, and she said to give an opportunity to the people and accept them, but the turtles elect to keep their existence a secret from the public, but they will always have help when they want. On top of the Statue of Liberty, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles celebrate their victory over the vanquished Krang.Even though I love the first tmnt film out of the shadows is far better it has just right amount of humor and just right of shell-shockingly awsome action in my opinion this has to be the best tmnt movie yet. Krang is like the one from the tv series and shredder could look a little better but he is still badass,  and of course Bebop and Rocksteady are fantastic and will not disappoint you at all. I highly recommend you go watch this movie.

REVIEW: TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (2014)

CAST

Megan Fox (New Girl)
Will Arnett (Blades of Glory)
William Fichtner (The Dark Knight)
Tohoru Masamune (Inception)
Whoopi Goldberg (The Muppets)
Minae Noji (BItch Slap)
Abby Elliott (How I Met Your Mother)
Taran Killam (Ted 2)
K. Todd Freeman (Buffy)
Derek Mears (Friday the 13th)
Johnny Knoxville (Men In Black 2)
Alan Ritchson (Smallville)
Noel Fisher (Agent COdy Banks)
Jeremy Howard (The Haunted Mansion)
Tony Shalhoub (Addams Family Values)
Danny Woodburn (Watchmen)
Malina Weissman (Supergirl)

Image result for teenage mutant ninja turtles 2014April O’Neil, a reporter for Channel 6 Eyewitness News in New York City, investigates a crime wave by a group of criminals called the Foot Clan. At a dock at night, she sees the Foot raiding cargo containers. After an unseen vigilante attacks the thieves, April notices a symbol left behind. April’s supervisor Bernadette Thompson (Whoopi Goldberg) and her coworkers are oblivious to her story. Later while covering a charity event thrown by Sacks Industries, April expresses gratitude to the company’s CEO Eric Sacks, who was her late father’s lab partner. Frustrated by the vigilante, the Foot Clan’s leader Shredder has the Foot Soldiers take hostages at a subway station in order to draw him out. April, at the scene, becomes a hostage herself. Four mysterious figures arrive, take out the Clan, and free the hostages.Megan Fox in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014)April follows them to a rooftop and is confronted by four anthropomorphic mutant turtles, causing her to pass out. When she regains consciousness, they advise her not to tell anyone of them. As they leave, April hears Raphael and Leonardo’s names.  April returns to her apartment and remembers “Project Renaissance”, her father’s science experiment, which involved four turtles named Leonardo, Donatello, Michelangelo, Raphael, and a mutated rat called Splinter. Unable to convince Bernadette of the Turtles’ existence, April is dismissed. Her coworker Vern Fenwick drives her to Sacks’ estate where she confides in him about her discovery. Sacks believes her and reveals that he and April’s father had been experimenting on a mutagen created to cure disease, which was thought lost in the fire that killed her dad.
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At Splinter’s behest, the Turtles bring April to their sewer lair. Splinter explains April had saved them all from the fire and freed them into the sewers. The mutagen caused the five of them to grow and develop humanoid attributes. Splinter took on the role of their father, using April’s father as an example. After finding a book on Ninjitsu in a storm drain, he proceeded to teach himself, then the Turtles, in the fighting style. When April reveals she told Sacks about her discovery of the Turtles, Splinter informs her that Sacks turned on her father and killed him.
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Then, Shredder and the Foot Soldiers attack the lair, defeating Splinter and incapacitating Raphael while the other Turtles are captured. April comes out of hiding and she and Raphael plan to save the others. At Sacks’ estate, he has the Turtles’ blood drained in order to create an antidote to a deadly virus that Sacks hopes to flood New York with, believing he will become rich from people seeking his cure. Raphael, April, and Vern storm the estate and free the other Turtles. The group then escapes the compound in pursuit of Sacks.
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On a radio tower in the city, Sacks and Shredder plant a device that will flood the city with the virus while Sacks is preparing to convert the mutagen to healing factor. April and Vern subdue Sacks in the lab, while the Turtles battling Shredder on the roof. During the fight, the tower’s support beams collapse. As the turtles try to keep it from falling and infecting the city, April confronts Shredder with the mutagen. In the struggle, the tower collapses and the Turtles pull April onto it with them, while Shredder falls to the street and is confronted by police. Believing they are about to die, the Turtles confess their secrets, while Raphael gives an impassioned speech of his love for his brothers before they land harmlessly on the street. They vanish before the humans find them and return to the sewers, where they give Splinter the mutagen and he begins to recover. Sometime later, April meets with Vern, who tries and fails to ask her on a date. The Turtles appear in a special modified “Turtle Van”, and Michelangelo accidentally blows up Vern’s new car with a rocket. As police respond to the explosion, the Turtles leave, but not before Mikey tries to serenade April with “Happy Together”, much to his brothers’ annoyance and April’s joy.
movie-teenage-mutant-ninja-turtles-thumb3Having been a fan of the Transformers franchise, when I heard Michael Bay was having a hand in dealing with the new film I thought it should be a pretty solid offering that would be fun for all.  I was pretty sold within the first few minutes. I liked the way that they poked fun at other hero franchises, loved the way that April O’Neal came across as the still sassy reporter and when added to the over villainy of William Fichtner really worked well for me. All round a film that whilst not an Oscar winner, was something that not only entertained me but also gave me a good laugh, definitely worth watching .

REVIEW: MOVIE 43

CAST

Dennis Quaid (The Day After Tomorrow)
Greg Kinnear (Ghost Town)
Common (Wanted)
Hugh Jackman (Logan)
Kate Winslet (Divergent)
Liev Schreiber (The 5th Wave)
Naomi Watts (King Kong)
Anna Faris (Mom)
Chris Pratt (Passengers)
Kristen Bell (Bad Moms)
Seth MacFalrane (Family Guy)
Emma Stone (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Charlie Saxton (Hung)
Leslie Bibb (American Housewife)
Uma Thurman (KillBill)
Bobby Cannavale (Ant-Man)
Kate Bosworth (Superman Returns)
Will Sasso (Happy Gilmore)
Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad)
Chloe Grace Moretz (The 5th Wave)
Odessa Rae (Hard Candy)
Terrence Howard (Iron Man 2)
Elizabeth Banks (Power Rangers)
Josh Duhamel (Transformers)
Tony Shalhoub (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Gerard Butler (Gamer)
Seann William Scott (American Pie)
Katie Finneran (Wonderfalls)
Halle Berry (X-Men)
Justin Long (Jeepers Creepers)
Jason Sudeikis (Son of Zorn)
Julie Claire (Devious Minds)
Stephen Merchant (The Office)
Johnny Knoxville (The Last Stand)
Richard Gere (Primal Fear)
Julie Ann Emery (Fargo)
J.B. Smoove (Date Night)
Jarrad Paul (The Grinder)
Katrina Bowden (30 Rock)
Kieran Culkin (Scott Pilgrim Vs The World)
Aasif Mandvi (The Dictator)
Julianne Moore (Carrie)
Anton Yelchin (Star Trek)
Fisher Stevens (Hail, Caesar!)
Jack McBrayer (30 Rock)
Julie McNiven (Doom Patrol)
Jimmy Bennett (Orphan)
Matt Walsh (Ted)
Emily Alyn Lind (Revenge)
Martin Klebba (Project X)

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Movie 43 is a series of different skits containing different scenes and scenarios.

Movie 43

The Pitch

The film is composed of multiple comedy shorts presented through an overarching segment titled “The Pitch”, in which Charlie Wessler (Dennis Quaid), a mad screenwriter, is attempting to pitch a script to film executive Griffin Schraeder (Greg Kinnear). After revealing several of the stories in his script, Wessler becomes agitated when Schraeder dismisses his outrageous ideas, and he pulls a gun on him and forces him to listen to multiple other stories before making Schraeder consult his manager, Bob Mone (Common), to purchase the film. When they do so, Mone’s condescending, humiliating attitude toward Schraeder angers him to the point that, after agreeing to make the film “the biggest film since Howard the Duck”, he confronts Mone in the parking lot with a gun and tries to make him perform fellatio on the security guard (Will Sasso) (Wessler had gotten on the lot by doing the same thing) and kill him if he does not make the film. Wessler tries to calm Schraeder down with more story ideas to no avail, but Mone pulls out a gun and shoots Schraeder to death. The segment ends with it being revealed that it is being shot by a camera crew as part of the movie, leading into the final segments.

Alternative version (The Thread)

The structure of the film released in some countries, like the United Kingdom and the Netherlands, differs. Instead of a pitch, the films are connected by a group of three teenagers searching for the most banned film in the world, Movie 43, which will ultimately lead to the destruction of civilization. Calvin Cutler (Mark L. Young) and his friend J.J. (Adam Cagley) make a video in the style of MTV’s Jackass and upload it on YouTube where it instantly reaches over 1,000,000 views. This turns out to be an April Fool’s prank from Calvin’s younger brother Baxter (Devin Eash), who cloned YouTube and hyper-inflated the views while working on his science project. Calvin and J.J. attempt to get revenge. They tell Baxter of a film that’s so dangerous it will cause the annihilation of the world. The movie is known as Movie 43. While J.J. and Baxter look for Movie 43 on Google, Calvin retrieves Baxter’s laptop and loads it with viruses from porn sites, and masturbates to the naked women on the porn sites in a bathroom. Baxter finds hundreds of results for Movie 43 on a website referred to by him as a dark corner of the Internet. They find the sketches starting from the 43rd search on the list of results. As he and J.J. keep watching videos, they are interrupted by a man known as Vrankovich (Fisher Stevens) and a group of Chinese mobsters (Tim Chou and James Hsu) who are tempted to find Movie 43, even going as far as to take J.J.’s classmate Stevie Schraeder (Nate Hartley), film executive Griffin Schraeder’s oldest son, hostage. Vrankovich warns them that if they find Movie 43, civilization will be left to ruins. They ignore his claims and keep searching. They eventually find the real, the one and only Movie 43, which turns out to involve Baxter as a profane commando who leads a group of recruits to survive after the world has ended. As Calvin finishes ruining Baxter’s laptop, their mother (Beth Littleford) enters, wearing the same shirt and shorts that the porn site women wear, causing Calvin to flip out, have visions, and find semen from his erect crotch on his hand in shock and horror. Afterward, a deadly earthquake rumbles and mankind is lost. However, a few years later the only survivor, a crippled Calvin, finds Baxter’s laptop still working despite viral infections. He watches the last remaining skits on the laptop. This version of the film was released in the U.S. as part of the Blu-ray Disc of Movie 43 as an unrated alternate cut of the film

The Catch

Beth (Kate Winslet) is a single businesswoman who goes on a blind date with Davis (Hugh Jackman), the city’s most eligible bachelor. When the two arrive together at a restaurant, Beth is shocked when he removes his scarf, revealing a pair of testicles dangling from his neck. Over dinner it confuses her that Davis fails to acknowledge his anatomical abnormality, and that nobody seems to be surprised by it. When two friends of Davis (Roy Jenkins and Katie Finneran) come by, one of them convinces him to give Beth a kiss. Davis agrees, but when he kisses her, his neck-testicles are dangling near Beth’s mouth, causing her to scream and budge out of the kiss.

Homeschooled

Having recently moved, Sean (Alex Cranmer) and Clare (Julie Ann Emery) have coffee with their new neighbors. The neighbors, Robert (Liev Schreiber) and Samantha (Naomi Watts) have a teenage son, Kevin (Jeremy Allen White), whom they have home-schooled. Sean and Clare begin inquiring about the homeschooling, and the numerous manners in which Robert and Samantha have replicated a high school environment within their home, going as far as hazing, bullying, and giving out detentions, are revealed. They also throw high school parties and Samantha instigates Kevin’s “first kiss” with him. Visibly disturbed, the neighbors end up meeting Kevin, who says he is going out and gives them the impression that all is fine: until he reveals a doll made of a mop with Samantha’s face on it, referring to the doll as his girlfriend.

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The Proposition

Julie (Anna Faris) and Doug (Chris Pratt) have been in a relationship for a year. When he attempts to propose to her, she reveals to him that she is a coprophiliac, and asks him to defecate on her in the bedroom. Urged by his best friend Larry (J.B. Smoove) and others to go along with it, he eats a large meal and drinks a bottle of laxative prior to the event. Wanting foreplay, Julie is angered when Doug wants to finish, and she runs into the street. Chasing after her, he is then hit by a car and graphically evacuates his bowels everywhere. She cradles him and apologizes; covered and surrounded by his excrement on the road, she exclaims that it is the “most beautiful thing” she has ever seen and accepts his marriage proposal.

Veronica

Neil (Kieran Culkin) is working a night shift at a local grocery store. His ex-girlfriend, Veronica (Emma Stone), comes through his line and the two begin arguing, which soon turns into sexual discussion and flirtation as they lament over their relationship; unbeknownst to them, Neil’s intercom microphone broadcasts the entire explicit conversation throughout the store, where various elderly people and vagrants tune in. After she leaves in tears, the customers agree to cover his shift while he goes after her.

iBabe

A developing company is having a meeting in their headquarters over their newly released product, the “iBabe”, which is a life-sized, realistic replica of a nude woman which functions as an MP3 player. The boss (Richard Gere) listens to his various workers (Kate Bosworth, Aasif Mandvi and Jack McBrayer) argue over the placement of a fan that was built into the genital region of the iBabe, which is dismembering the penises of teenage boys who attempt to have sex with them. The board members then agree to strongly emphasize the dangers of the product via its new commercials.

Superhero Speed Dating

Robin (Justin Long) and his cohort Batman (Jason Sudeikis) are in Gotham City at a speed dating establishment seeking out a bomb threat by their nemesis, Penguin (John Hodgman). While Robin attempts to connect with various women through speed dating including Lois Lane (Uma Thurman) and Supergirl (Kristen Bell), Batman encounters his ex Wonder Woman (Leslie Bibb) and attempts to stop Penguin from detonating Supergirl, who later turns out to be the Riddler (Will Carlough) in disguise, which Batman already knew and was screwing with Robin, who kissed “her” moments before unveiling.

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Machine Kids

A faux-Public service announcement about children stuck in machines and how adults’ criticism of these particular machines affect the feelings of the children stuck inside the machines. This commercial was paid for by the “Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children Inside Machines”.

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Middleschool Date

Nathan (Jimmy Bennett) and Amanda (Chloë Grace Moretz) are watching television after school at Nathan’s house as their first “middle school” date. When they begin to kiss, his older brother Mikey (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) enters the living room and makes fun of them. Amanda then discovers she is menstruating and tries to hide it, and when Nathan sees blood on her pants, he panics and believes her to be bleeding to death, causing a debacle, which would later have Nathan and Mikey’s father Steve (Patrick Warburton) and Amanda’s father (Matt Walsh) involved. Amanda calls them out on their stupidity and feels embarrassed to know that she’s getting her first period in front of them and they don’t know what to do about it. When she leaves with her father, Nathan yells that the process of keeping the lining of her internal organs intact by inserting his erect phallus into her vagina is much too complicated and Mikey agrees. Steve cheers them up by farting in front of them. As Mikey goes to the bathroom, Nathan and Steve watch a game on television, which has a very graphic Tampax commercial in which a girl gets eaten by a shark due to her menstruating.

Tampax

Another faux-commercial involving two women who go swimming in the sea. As the women submerge into the water, a great shark suddenly appears and eats one of the women. A tagline appears, reading: “Tampax. Now Leak-Proof”

Happy Birthday

Pete (Johnny Knoxville) captures a leprechaun (Gerard Butler) for his roommate Brian (Seann William Scott) as a birthday present. After tying the leprechaun up in the basement, they demand he give them a pot of gold. The obscene leprechaun threatens that his brother is coming to save him. When he arrives, Brian and Pete are shot at but ultimately kill both leprechauns. At the end of the segment, Pete reveals he has also caught a fairy (Esti Ginzburg) who performs fellatio for gold coins.

Truth or Dare

Donald (Stephen Merchant) and Emily (Halle Berry) are on a date together at a Mexican restaurant. Tired of typical first dates, Emily challenges Donald to a game of truth or dare. She dares him to grab a man’s buttocks, and he follows with daring her to blow out the birthday candles on a blind boy’s cake. The game rapidly escalates to extremes, in which both of them get plastic surgery and tattoos, and humiliate themselves. When Donald and Emily arrive back at Emily’s apartment, they praise their date. Donald tries to kiss her, but she rejects him, claiming she’s not attracted to Asian men (which he was surgically altered to resemble). It is revealed that she was joking and invites him to have sex with her as she shows him her enlarged breasts.

Victory’s Glory

Set in 1959, Coach Jackson (Terrence Howard) is lecturing his all-black basketball team before their first game against an all-white team. Worried about losing the game, the timid players are lectured by the coach about their superiority in the sport over their white counterparts, which he expresses vulgarly. When the game ensues, the all-white team loses miserably yet rejoices in a single point they earn.

Beezel

Played mid-credits, Amy (Elizabeth Banks) worries that her boyfriend Anson’s (Josh Duhamel) cat, Beezel (an animated cartoon), is coming between their relationship. Beezel seems to detest Amy and anyone who comes between him and Anson, but Anson only sees Beezel as innocent. One day, Amy witnesses Beezel masturbating to summer vacation photos of Anson in a swimsuit. Beezel attacks her and violently urinates on her. Anson still finds his pet innocent but Amy threatens to leave if he doesn’t get rid of Beezel. Caring more about his relationship, Anson agrees to find a new home for him. That night, from a closet, Beezel tearfully watches the couple make love (whilst sodomizing himself with a hairbrush and dry humping a stuffed teddy bear). The next day when it comes time to take Beezel away, he is nowhere to be found. Amy goes outside to look. Beezel then runs her over with a truck and attempts to shoot her to death with a shotgun, but she chases him into the street and begins beating him with a shovel, which is witnessed by a group of children attending a birthday party at a neighboring house. When Anson approaches to see what is happening, Amy tries to explain Beezel’s motives. Beezel acts innocent and Anson sides with his cat. The children of the party then attack and murder Amy for beating up Beezel, stabbing her with plastic forks. Anson grabs Beezel, as Beezel again fantasizes about French kissing his owner.

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Find Our Daughter

In this segment that was cut from the film, Maude (Julianne Moore) and George (Tony Shalhoub) are looking for their breast-flashing daughter Susie (Jordanna Taylor) with the help of the private eye (Bob Odenkirk), who is behind the camera with only one clue which is a small video that features their daughter. The scene was released on Blu-ray.

Necrophiliac

This segment cut from the film stars a necrophiliac who worked at a morgue and had sex with the dead female bodies. The scene was included on the Blu-Ray release.

This film gets a lot of negative reviews, and I can see why – it’s definitely a marmite type ‘love it or hate it’ film. I doubt there’s any room for a grey area. Slapstick, crude toilet humour delivered in a very clever fashion. This isn’t so much a film as it is a series of interlinked sketches with an all-star cast