REVIEW: AMERICAN PIE: REUNION

CAST

Jason Biggs (Boys and Girls)
Alyson Hannigan (How I Met Your Mother)
Chris Klein (Election)
Thomas Ian Nicholas (Halloween: Resurrection)
Eddie Kaye Thomas (American Dad)
Seann William Scott (Goon)
Tara Reid (Urban Legend)
Mena Suvari (Loser)
John Cho (Sleepy Hollow)
Eugene Levy (Cheaper By The Dozen 2)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls)
Natasha Lyonne (Comic Book Villains)
Dania Ramirez (Heroes)
Ali Cobrin (Bad Neighbors)
Katrina Bowden (Scary Movie 5)
Jay Harrington (Better Off Ted)
Chuck Hittinger (Boogeyman 3)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Chris Owen (The Mist)
Rebecca De Mornay (The Hand That Rocks The Cradle)
Justin Isfeld (Fraternity House)
Charlene Amoia (How I Met Your Mother)
Vik Sahay (Chuck)
Neil Patrick Harris (A Series of Unfortnate Events)
Molly Cheek (Drag Me To Hell)

Thirteen years after graduating from high school, Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs), Chris “Oz” Ostreicher (Chris Klein), Kevin Myers (Thomas Ian Nicholas), Paul Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), and Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott) are well-established in their lives and careers. Jim lives in the Chicago area and is still married to Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) and now has a two-year-old son, Evan. Since the birth of their son, Jim and Michelle’s sex life has deteriorated. Oz is an NFL sportscaster living in Los Angeles with his supermodel girlfriend Mia (Katrina Bowden). Kevin is married to Ellie and works from home as an architect. Finch tells his friends that he has been travelling the world, and still searching for his one true love. Stifler works as a temp at an investment firm, where he is also the victim of humiliating verbal abuse by his cold-hearted employer.Former classmate John (John Cho), one half of the ‘MILF’ duo, organizes a Class of 1999 high school reunion in East Great Falls. Jim and Michelle return to Jim’s old home, where his father Noah (Eugene Levy) is now a widower. Jim encounters his neighbor Kara (Ali Cobrin), whom he used to babysit and who is soon to turn 18. Jim meets Oz, Kevin, and Finch at a bar, where they meet Selena Vega (Dania Ramirez), Michelle’s best friend from band. Stifler appears unexpectedly, and joins them for weekend activities.The next day, the group goes to the beach. Oz meets his high school girlfriend, Heather (Mena Suvari), who is dating a cardiologist named Ron (Jay Harrington), and Kevin reconnects with Vicky (Tara Reid). The guys have an altercation with Kara’s boyfriend, A.J., (Chuck Hittinger) and his friends, which ends with Stifler defecating in their beer cooler and destroying their jet skis. That night, most of the group go to the falls and find a high school party celebrating Kara’s birthday. Finch and Selena reconnect, and they fall in love. Kara gets drunk; Jim drives her home, and she tries to seduce him. They are discovered by John, who simply mistakes Kara for Michelle. Oz, Finch, and Stifler help Jim return Kara to her parents’ home, but A.J. spots them. Kevin wakes up hungover next to Vicky and assumes they had sex.Jim and Michelle attend a party thrown by Stifler, hoping to recreate their prom night, and bring Noah along. Noah gets drunk and encounters Stifler’s mother Jeanine (Jennifer Coolidge) for the first time. Kevin confronts Vicky about the night before, but she insists there was no sex. Mia takes ecstasy, and Ron humiliates Oz. A newly sympathetic Heather comforts Oz, and they reconcile. They are interrupted by Mia, who starts a fight with Heather. Stifler performs oral sex on a former classmate named “Long Lips” Loni hoping she would return the favor, only to strike out. By this point in the story, Jim has told Kara that he does not care about her. A fight ensues between A.J. and his gang against Jim and his friends, which is disrupted by police. But the police only arrest Finch for stealing a motorcycle, which Stifler finds amusing. Exasperated by Stifler’s immaturity, the guys blast him, and finally admit that they did not want him to ruin things like he always does. Distraught, Stifler ends the party.Mia leaves Oz, Stifler decides to skip the reunion, and Michelle goes to her grandmother’s. At the reunion, Finch admits that he is an assistant manager at Staples and stole the motorcycle from his boss when he did not receive a raise that was promised. The boys apologize to Stifler at his place of work, and insist that he is their friend saying “he is their asshole”; without him, high school would not have been any fun. Stifler is uplifted by this and quits his job – but not before standing up to his patronizing boss – and attends the reunion. Kevin reconciles with Vicky. Finch makes amends with Selena for lying, and they have sex in the bathroom – but not before a premonition of something vague but bad happening, which is that Stifler is having sex with his mother, as revenge on him for having sex with Stifler’s mother. Oz reunites with Heather (a result of Stifler beating up Ron), and Jim reconciles with Michelle. Jessica (Natasha Lyonne) reveals that she is a lesbian, and with Stifler’s help, Sherman (Chris Owen) hooks up with Loni. Stifler is asked to be a party planner for a wedding for his former lacrosse teammates.He also meets Finch’s mother Rachel (Rebecca De Mornay) who intrigues Stifler by telling him she wishes her son were more into sports. After Rachel makes a brazen sexual pass at Stifler using lacrosse equipment-related innuendos, Rachel and Stifler proceed to have sex on the lacrosse field, while Rachel loudly and passionately agrees with Stifler’s proclamations about his manliness. John is reunited with his estranged buddy, Justin (Justin Isfeld) (MILF Guy #1) and they watch Stifler having sex with Finch’s mom while chanting “MILF! MILF! MILF!”. The next morning, Jim and Kara share a tender moment while apologizing to each other for their behavior. Oz plans to stay in town with Heather, Finch plans a trip with Selena to Europe, and Stifler drops subtle hints about sleeping with Finch’s mom. Kevin proposes a pact for them to reunite once a year. They all agree and make a toast as the franchise’s theme song (“Laid”) plays. As the credits roll, Stifler says, “I fucked Finch’s mom!” in a half-whisper, leaving Finch disgusted. In a mid-credits scene, Noah Levenstein receives sexual gratification from Stifler’s Mom at a movie theatre.There a couple new characters but none of them are annoying or take up too much of the story, all those parts are well cast. Jim’s Dad and Stifler’s Mom are hilarious on screen together. Jim’s Dad is the funniest he has ever been- but again- not in an over the top way. All in all, it’s a well-written, well-rounded film with some good plot twists. Tons of references too the old films. Literally, all of the obscure characters from the first two make an appearance at some point.

 

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REVIEW: AMERICAN PIE 2

CAST

Jason Biggs (Evil Woman)
Alyson Hannigan (How I Met Your Mother)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Chris Klein (Election)
Thomas Ian Nicholas (Rookie of The Year)
Natasha Lyonne (Orange Is The New Black)
Tara Reid (Urban Legend)
Eddie Kaye Thomas (American Dad)
Seann WIlliam Scott (Goon)
Mena Suvari (Loser)
Eugene Levy (Cheaper By The Dozen 2)
Chris Owen (October Sky)
Molly Cheek (Drag Me To Hell)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls)
Denise Faye (Chicago)
Lisa Arturo (Garden Party)
John Cho (Sleepy Hollow)
Justin Isfeld (Fraternity House)
Eli Marienthal (The Iron Giant)
Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)
George Wyner (Spaceballs)
Joelle Carter (Justified)
Larry Drake (Darkman)
Lee Garlington (A Lot Like love)
Tsianina Joelson (Bring it On)
Lacey Beeman (Coach Carter)
Joanna Garcia Swisher (The Internship)
Nora Zehetner (Heroes)
Adam Brody (Jennifers Body)
Kevin Kilner (Earth: Final Conflict)

After breaking up for the summer, the four friends regroup for a party held by Stifler (Seann William Scott), their overtly sex-crazed class clown and good friend. His party is shut down thanks in part to the neighbors calling the police. Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) is inspired by his brother to make his summer with his friends count by renting a beach home. He, Jim, Oz and Finch plan to take off to a beach house together, where they intend to spend the summer. Kevin realizes a problem and worked out that they can only afford the house if they have a fifth member to work along with them. Stifler takes charge of much of the organizing, often ending up leading the group in their misadventures.Oz (Chris Klein) is miserable, being away from his girlfriend Heather (Mena Suvari) who is in Spain. During the stay at the beach house, they proceed to start having phone sex to vent some of their loneliness, which ends up being interrupted by Stifler. Heather later shows up early to the party, ending the short storyline that Oz is involved in. After arriving in Grand Harbor they settle in, they manage to find work painting a house (based on the Tuition Painters franchise) in the area together, mistaking the owners for lesbians. Jim (Jason Biggs), Stifler and Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) end up performing “like for like” sexual acts on each other in return for being able to watch the girls doing the same thing. Oz and Kevin take turns watching up a ladder and listening on the walkie-talkie also in the room. The conversation is accidentally picked up and heard by many other people in the neighborhood. Finally at the end of the last party, Stifler manages to have a wild threesome with the owners of the house.After this, many concurrent stories run at the same time, some interacting with each other, others staying mainly separate. Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) is coming to visit Jim in August. When she arrives early, Jim asks for help from band geek Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), humiliating himself in front of the audience when he pretends to be Petey, a mentally challenged boy who plays the trombone. They pretend to be in a relationship so that Nadia will not expect Jim to have sex (Jim is involved in an incident involving a tube of super glue he mistook for lube; he accidentally glued his hand to his penis while watching a porno film and injured himself, leaving him wounded and unable to perform). Jim and Michelle break the mock relationship off once he is ready to have sex with Nadia, but by then Michelle has really fallen in love with Jim, and soon Jim realizes that he has found his soul-mate in Michelle. Nadia also realizes this and tells him, “Go, get your band geek, and I will find mine”. Jim goes and plays the trombone once more whilst Michelle is playing the flute at a major recital in order to show her that she is the one he wants to be with.Finch has become involved in the sexual art of Tantra, and claims that through Tantra he can “make an orgasm last for days”. He is waiting for Stifler’s Mom (Jennifer Coolidge), who he had sex with in the first film, hoping she will show up and be willing to do it again. He thinks she arrives when a vehicle turns up after Stifler is talking on the phone, but it turns out to be his little brother Matt (Eli Marienthal), the star of later films. He spends the night talking with a few girls, but he doesn’t sleep with any of them. The next morning, after the party, a Mercedes coupe with darkened windows turns up, Finch approaches and it turns out Stifler’s Mom has come after all. He jumps at the chance and they drive off together, Stifler not realizing until after the car has driven off that it was Finch and his mother. After being asked, she reveals her name is Janine, but also instructs Finch to resume calling her “Stifler’s mom” as per usual.The geeky Sherman (Chris Owen) gives up on getting anyone after he is turned down by the experienced and sharp-tongued Jessica (Natasha Lyonne), but the rejected Nadia, who wanted Jim because he was a geek, is turned on by his “Sherminator” gimmick, and they end up in bed together. Kevin doesn’t end up “getting off” with anyone, but he does seem to succeed in getting over Vicky (Tara Reid) after making advances on her throughout the film.This is one of the all time best comedies of recent times. With all the favourites back for a sequel, it doesnt disappoint. With the same humour but more orginal storylines, this is a must see for any movie fan.

REVIEW: AMERICAN PIE

CAST

Jason Biggs (Evil Woman)
Chris Klein (Election)
Thomas Ian Nicholas (Rookie of The Year)
Alyson Hannigan (How I Met Your Mother)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Tara Reid (Urban Legend)
Eddie Kaye Thomas (American Dad)
Seann WIlliam Scott (Goon)
Eugene Levy (Cheaper By The Dozen 2)
Natasha Lyonne (Orange Is The New Black)
Mena Suvari (Loser)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls)
Chris Owen (October Sky)
Eric Lively (The Butterfly Effect 2)
Molly Cheek (Drag Me To Hell)
Lawrence Pressman (Mother and Child)
Clyde Kusatsu (The Interpreter)
Christina Milian (Bring it On 5)
Justin Isfled (Sticks & Stones)
John Cho (Sleepy Hollow)
Eli Marienthal (The Iron Giant)
James DeBello (Cabin Fever)
Jillian Bach (Two Guys and a Girl)
Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)

Five high school seniors from West Michigan are good friends: Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs), an awkward, nerdy and sexually naïve character whose dad Noah (Eugene Levy) attempts to offer sexual advice including purchasing and giving him pornography; Chris “Oz” Ostreicher (Chris Klein), a member of the high school lacrosse team; Kevin Myers (Thomas Ian Nicholas), the nerdy leader of the group who wants to lose his virginity to his girlfriend Vicky (Tara Reid); Paul Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), a mochaccino-drinking sophisticate and nerd; and Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott), a raucous jock who often throws wild parties when his mother is away, and is also the only one of the five who has lost his virginity. At Kevin’s prompting, Oz, Finch, Jim, and Kevin make a pact to lose their virginities before their high school graduation after a dorky classmate, Chuck Sherman (Chris Owen), claims to have done so at a party hosted by Stifler.Vicky later accuses Kevin of being with her only for sex, so he must try to repair his relationship with her before the upcoming prom night, when the four plan to lose their virginity. He eventually succeeds. Oz, meanwhile, joins the school jazz choir in an attempt to find a girlfriend. From a college girl he tried to seduce, Oz learns about sensitivity and that it is about asking girls questions and listening to what they say. He soon wins the attention of Heather (Mena Suvari), a girl in the choir. However, he runs into problems when Heather learns about Oz’s reputation and breaks up with him, although he manages to regain her trust when he leaves the lacrosse championship to perform a duet with her in a choir competition.Jim, meanwhile, attempts to pursue Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth), an exchange student from Slovakia who asks Jim for help to study for an upcoming history test. After being told by Oz that third base feels like “warm apple pie”, he practices having sex with a pie, only to be caught by Noah (who lets him keep it a secret from his mother). Stifler persuades him to set up a webcam in his room so that they can all watch Nadia changing clothes. The plan suffers a hiccup, though, when Nadia discovers Jim’s pornography collection and sits half-naked on his bed to read and masturbates to it. Jim is persuaded to return to his room, where he joins Nadia, unaware that he accidentally sent the webcam link to everyone on the school list. Nadia is interested in him, but he suffers premature ejaculation twice and is unable to have sex with her. Nadia’s exchange family sees the video and sends her back home, now leaving Jim dateless for the upcoming prom and without hope of losing his virginity before high school is over.In sheer desperation, Jim asks band camp geek Michelle Flaherty (Alyson Hannigan) to the senior prom as she is apparently the only girl at his school who did not see what happened. Finch, meanwhile, pays Vicky’s friend, Jessica (Natasha Lyonne), $200 to spread rumors around the school of his sexual prowess, hoping that it will increase his chances of success. Unfortunately, he runs into trouble when Stifler, angry that a girl turned him down for the prom because she was waiting for Finch to ask her, puts a laxative into Finch’s mochaccino. Finch, being paranoid about the lack of cleanliness in the school restrooms, and unable to go home to use the toilet as he usually does, is tricked by Stifler into using the girls’ restroom. Afterwards, he emerges humiliated before a crowd of fellow students and is also left dateless.At the prom, things seem bleak for the four boys until Vicky asks the girl that Chuck Sherman claimed to have bedded about her “first time.” She proclaims to everyone at the prom that she and Sherman did not have sex at Stifler’s party, leaving Sherman embarrassed and making him wet himself. The revelation takes the pressure off of Jim, Kevin, Oz and Finch, and they head to the post-prom party at Stifler’s house with new hope. At the after-party, all four boys fulfill their pledges. Kevin and Vicky have sex in an upstairs bedroom. Vicky breaks up with Kevin afterwards on the grounds that they will drift apart when they go to college. Oz confesses the pact to Heather, and renounces it, saying that just by them being together makes him a winner. They reconcile and wind up having sex. Oz, honoring his newfound sensitivity, never confesses to what they did.Jim and Michelle have sex after he finds out that she is actually not as naïve as she let on and that she saw the “Nadia Incident” after all. She accepted his offer to be his date because of it, knowing he was a “sure thing” but makes him wear two condoms to combat his earlier “problem” with Nadia. Jim is surprised at Michelle’s aggressiveness in bed. In the morning he wakes up to find her gone and realizes that she had used him for a one-night stand, which Jim thinks is “cool”. Dateless, Finch strays downstairs to the basement recreation room where he meets Stifler’s mother (Jennifer Coolidge). She is aroused by his precociousness, and they have sex on the pool table. The next morning, while Stifler searches for his mom, he finds her on the pool table with Finch, and is so shocked that he faints. The morning after the prom, Jim, Kevin, Oz, and Finch eat breakfast at their favorite restaurant where they toast to the “next step”. From Slovakia, Nadia watches Jim stripping on his webcam: Noah walks in (to which Jim is completely oblivious) but happily walks out and also starts dancing.American Pie will never be ‘high brow entertainment’ yet it is enormous fun for anyone with an appreciation for silly (definitely low brow) humour.

 

REVIEW: CRUEL INTENTIONS

CAST

Sarah Michelle Gellar (Ringer)
Ryan Phillippe (Antitrust)
Reese Witherspoon (Devil’s Knot)
Selma Blair (Hellby)
Louise Fletcher (Star Trek: DS9)
Swoosie Kurtz (Mike & Molly)
Sean Patrick Thomas (Save The Last Dance)
Christine Baranski (The Big Bang Theory)
Joshua Jackson (Cursed)
Eric Mabius (Resident Evil)
Tara Reid (American Pie)
Charlie O’Connell (Sliders)
Herta Ware (Critters 2)

In an upscale New York City mansion, wealthy and popular teenager Kathryn Merteuil (Gellar) is discussing her prep school with Mrs. Caldwell (Christine Baranski) and Mrs. Caldwell’s daughter, Cecile (Blair). Kathryn promises Mrs. Caldwell that she will look out for the sheltered and naïve Cecile. Kathryn’s step-brother, Sebastian (Phillippe), enters the room, whereupon Mrs. Caldwell reacts to him coldly and leaves with Cecile. Kathryn reveals to him that her real intention is to use Cecile to take revenge on her ex-lover Court Reynolds (Charlie O’Connell), who has dumped her for Cecile. Kathryn asks Sebastian to seduce Cecile; he refuses as he is planning to seduce Annette Hargrove (Witherspoon), the virgin daughter of their prep school’s new headmaster. Annette is a ‘paradigm of chastity and virtue’ who recently wrote a published essay about saving herself for marriage and has been temporarily staying with Sebastian’s aunt. The two make a wager: if Sebastian fails to bed Annette, Kathryn gets Sebastian’s vintage Jaguar XK140; if he succeeds, Kathryn will have sex with him. It is mentioned that Sebastian keeps a journal detailing his conquests.Sebastian’s first attempt to seduce Annette fails, as she had already been told of his reputation as a womanizer. He vents to his friend, Blaine Tuttle (Joshua Jackson), who suggests that the informant might be Annette’s ex-boyfriend and closeted jock, Greg McConnell (Eric Mabius), revealing to Sebastian that Greg tried to make a pass at him. He uses that to seduce Greg while being secretly filmed by Sebastian. Sebastian confronts Greg with the photographs, but he denies warning Annette. Greg is pressured into investigating who did, and Sebastian also orders him to present him in a good light to Annette. Later, while gushing about Sebastian to Annette, Greg discovers that the culprit is Cecile’s mother, Mrs. Caldwell. Wanting revenge on the Caldwells, Sebastian agrees to seduce Cecile.Meanwhile, Cecile’s music teacher, Ronald Clifford (Sean Patrick Thomas), is in love with her. Cecile confesses this to Kathryn. Kathryn tells Mrs. Caldwell about Ronald and Cecile’s romance and Mrs. Caldwell orders Cecile to end it. Sebastian, in turn, calls Cecile to his house, ostensibly to give her a letter from Ronald. There he blackmails Cecile in order to perform oral sex on her. The next day, Cecile confides in Kathryn, who advises her to learn from Sebastian so that she can make Ronald happy in bed.Sebastian begins to fall in love with Annette, who returns his feelings but still resists him. Sebastian calls her a hypocrite because she claims to be waiting for her one true love, but when her one true love chooses to love her back, she resists. She relents, but Sebastian refuses her, confused about his feelings colliding with his stolid sexuality. Annette flees to the estate of her friend’s parents. Sebastian tracks her down, professes his love, and makes love to her. As he has won the bet, Kathryn offers herself to Sebastian the next day, but he refuses; he now only wants Annette. Kathryn tries kissing him, but he rejects her again saying that it’s only a stupid bet. She starts taunting him and he tells her he was planning on confessing the truth to Annette anyways. Kathryn warns him not to do it, that people don’t change overnight and that it would not only be destroying his reputation, but also hers.Afterwards, Sebastian full of remorse tells Annette he just wanted to see what she was like in bed. Heartbroken, Annette tells him to leave. He then goes to see Kathryn to fulfill the initial arrangement they had and tells her that he has broken up with Annette and arranged for Cecile and Ronald to be together. Kathryn reveals that she has known all along that he was truly in love with Annette and that it amused her to make him feel ashamed of it. She tells him he gave up on the first person he ever loved, all because she threatened his reputation. Sebastian desperately tries to get a hold of Annette to confess the truth and beg for her forgiveness. Kathryn calls Ronald, telling him that Sebastian slept with Cecile and lying to him that Sebastian hit her. Annette refuses to see or speak to Sebastian, so he leaves his journal for her to read. In which, he has detailed all of Kathryn’s manipulative schemes as well as their bet, and written his true feelings for Annette. As he heads home, Ronald intercepts him on the street, starting a fight. Annette runs out and tries to stop it, but is accidentally thrown into the way of traffic. Sebastian pushes her to safety, and is hit by a cab. Before dying, Sebastian confesses he loves her and Annette tells him she loves him too. Ronald realizes that Kathryn lied to him and used him to kill Sebastian.At Sebastian’s funeral, Cecile distributes copies of his journal, made into a book by Annette, titled Cruel Intentions. Kathryn is humiliated and rejected by her classmates and teachers. Her reputation is ruined when cocaine is discovered in her rosary. In the final scene, Annette drives away in Sebastian’s car with his journal at her side as she remembers the moments they shared.If you haven’t yet seen ‘Cruel Intentions’, I can only recommend you do so, as it has elements of everything that most audiences will enjoy. Ryan and Sarah Michelle excel as their nasty, manipulative characters, and the ending is very apt and satisfying.

REVIEW: MY BOSS’S DAUGHTER

CAST

Ashton Kutcher (The Ranch)
Tara Reid (American Pie)
Terence Stamp (Big Eyes)
Molly Shannon (Scary Movie 5)
Andy Richter (Elf)
Michael Madsen (Sin City)
Tyler Labine (Reaper)
Jon Abrahams (The Faculty)
Patrick Cranshaw (Old School)
Angela Little (Rush Hour 2)
David Koechner (Anchorman)
Carmen Electra (Scary Movie)
Kenan Thompson (The Smurfs)
Jeffrey Tambor (Dr. Dolittle)

Tom Stansfield (Ashton Kutcher) is a researcher at a publishing company who works under the tyrannical Jack Taylor (Terence Stamp). Tom has a crush on his boss’ daughter, Lisa Taylor (Tara Reid), who is completely controlled by her overprotective father. She reveals to Tom that her father is making her house-sit on the same night as a party she wants to attend, but Tom convinces her to stand up to her father and attend the party anyway. Lisa asks him to come to their house that night, leading Tom to think that she has invited him to the party; in reality, she just wants him to fill in for her – he reluctantly agrees. A comedy of errors ensues, including the return of Lisa’s older brother, Red, on the run from drug dealers. Red dumps drugs into the toilet, and instead returns a bag of flour to the drug dealer. One of Tom’s tasks is to guard their owl, O-J, which lives in an open cage (it has not been able to fly due to a deep depression, from the loss of a prior mate). When the bird drinks from the toilet polluted with drugs, it flies away. Jack Taylor’s ex-secretary Audrey goes to the house to try to earn her job back. After fighting with her boyfriend, she stays over at the house. Lisa returns home after finding out that her boyfriend Hans is cheating on her. Tom hides from her everything that happened and she spends some time with him thinking he is homosexual. He clarifies to her that he’s actually straight and she starts to like him. Audrey’s friend thinks she has breast cancer and asks Tom to feel her breasts. Lisa walks in on them and is disgusted by the situation.T.J., the drug dealer, finds out about the fake drugs and threatens to kill Tom if he doesn’t return him his money. T.J. tries to open a safe and steal the money. However, Tom gives him sleeping pills mixed with alcohol which sends him into a coma. Because they think T.J. is dead, Audrey and her friends bury him. Later, T.J. escapes from the grave and threatens to kill Lisa. With Red’s help, Tom rescues Lisa and she falls in love with him. He then goes to get her father, but on the way back the owl gets into the car making Tom lose control of the car and crash into the house. They find police officers in the house looking for T.J., who ends up getting arrested. Jack Taylor is enraged by the damages done to the house and throws Tom out. The next day, Jack Taylor hears his son explaining to Lisa how she should stand up to their father and goes back to Tom. Jack realizes his mistakes and gives Tom a promotion.This is a funny film and all the cast seem to be having a good time and a laught buy it if you want a good comedy.

31 DAYS HORROR REVIEW: URBAN LEGEND

CAST

Jared Leto (Suicide Squad)
Alicia Witt (88 Minutes)
Rebecca Gayheart (Dead Like Me)
Michael Rosenbaum (Smallville)
Loretta Devine (Crash)
Joshua Jackson (Fringe)
Tara Reid (American Pie)
John Neville (Odyssey 5)
Julian Richings (Highlander: The Raven)
Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street)
Danielle Harris (Halloween 2007)
Natasha Greyson Wagner (High Fidelity)
Brad Dourif (Child’s Play)
Cle Bennett (Flashpoint)

At a gas station, Michelle Mancini (Natasha Gregson Wagner) fights off an apparent attack by a stuttering attendant (Brad Dourif). However, he was actually trying to warn her of an attacker in the back seat, and as Michelle drives off, the attacker in the back seat decapitates her with an axe. On a college campus, student Parker Riley (Michael Rosenbaum) relates how one of the campus halls, Stanley Hall, had been the site of a massacre in 1973. The story is discredited by school journalist Paul Gardner (Jared Leto).As Natalie Simon (Alicia Witt) is shaken by Michelle’s death, Damon Brooks (Joshua Jackson) offers to talk and the two drive into the woods. Damon is attacked by the killer, who hangs him from a tree with the rope attached to the car. As the killer approaches Natalie, she attempts to run him over, strangling Damon in the process.
Realizing Damon and Michelle’s murders resemble urban legends, Natalie goes to the library to read up on urban legends. While she is away, her goth roommate Tosh (Danielle Harris), is strangled by the killer. Thinking her roommate is merely engaging in sexual activity, Natalie doesn’t turn on the lights and goes to bed. In the morning, a shocked Natalie discovers her corpse and the words, “Aren’t you glad you didn’t turn on the light?” scrawled on the wall.
After trying to save Brenda (Rebecca Gayheart) from a supposed attack in the swimming pool, Natalie reveals her past. One night Natalie and Michelle re-enacted an urban legend; they were driving with their headlights turned off and pursued the first driver who flashed them, causing him to run off the road and die in the crash.Next, the school dean Adams (John Neville) is attacked in the garage and run over by his car forcing the emergency spikes into his back. Later, security guard Reese Wilson (Loretta Devine) finds Professor Wexler’s (Robert Englund) office trashed and smeared in blood. Meanwhile, Paul has discovered the Stanley Hall massacre actually occurred and Wexler was the sole survivor.At a party, Parker gets a phone call from the killer telling him that his dog is in the microwave. After opening the microwave and seeing his dead dog, he then runs to the bathroom to vomit, where the killer ties him to the toilet and forces him to chug pop rocks and bathroom chemicals (instead of soda), killing him. At the radio station, Sasha (Tara Reid) is on air. In the background, her employee is being strangled to death. Sasha screams and runs out of the room; she is still on air and everyone can hear her cries for help. Natalie runs to her aid only to see the killer murder her with an axe. Fleeing from the station, Natalie finds Brenda and Paul and they drive off to find help. Paul convinces the girls that the killer is Wexler. When Paul stops at a gas station, Natalie and Brenda discover Wexler’s dead body in the car and bolt, thinking Paul to be the killer. Natalie loses Brenda but makes her way to a road, where the school’s janitor (Julian Richings) picks her up. When the janitor flashes a car with its lights out, it swerves around and pursues them. The janitor’s car is forced off the road but Natalie survives and makes her way towards Stanley Hall. She hears Brenda screaming from inside. When Natalie breaks into the hall, she discovers Brenda lying on a bed. As Natalie starts crying, Brenda sits up and knocks her unconscious.Waking up, Natalie finds herself tied to a bed and gagged. The killer comes in and unmasks herself as Brenda, who plays mind games with Natalie and taunts her about Natalie’s attempt to save Brenda. She reveals that the young man Natalie and Michelle killed was Brenda’s boyfriend and she is now exacting her revenge. She begins to cut Natalie’s stomach in the fashion of the “Kidney Heist” legend, when Reese rushes in and forces Brenda to get away from Natalie. Reese frees Natalie, however, Brenda shoots her after she frees Natalie, who decided to untie the ropes on her hands and ankles all by herself. Paul then appears and tries to trick Brenda. As Brenda is deciding whether to shoot Paul or Natalie, the wounded Reese reaches up and shoots Brenda in the elbow. Natalie grabs the gun and shoots Brenda, who falls through a window. atalie and Paul drive off to get help. Suddenly, Brenda appears in the backseat and attacks them with the axe. Paul crashes on a bridge, sending Brenda through the windshield into the river below. The films events are then revealed to be an incorrect story being told among a different group of students at a different University. Most of them disbelieve the tale with the exception of one young woman, who is revealed to be Brenda. She then begins to tell how the story really goes.
This movie kicks some ass! Now I know the whole “teen horror flick” idea has been destroyed over the years but this movie breaks away for the stereotypical teen horror flick. It has great young actors, especially Rebecca Gayheart and Alicia Witt, and a great and suspenseful plot.

 

REVIEW: THE CROW 4: WICKED PRAYER

 

CAST

Edward Furlong (Terminator 2)
David Boreanaz (Bones)
Tara Reid (American Pie)
Marcus Chong (The Matrix)
Dennis Hopper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2)
Emmanuelle Chriqui (Wrong Turn)
Danny Trejo (Machete)

Image result for the crow wicked prayerJames “Jimmy” Cuervo (Edward Furlong), paroled after serving a prison sentence for killing a rapist in a fight, lives with his dog in a mobile home in Lake Ravasu on the Raven Aztec reservation. Jimmy plans to start a new life with his girlfriend, Lily (Emmanuelle Chriqui), and leave the town for good. Lily’s priest father, Harold (Danny Trejo), and brother, local cop Tanner (Dave L. Ortiz), both despise Jimmy, however.
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The town is home to a Satanic biker gang led by escaped convict Luc “Death” Crash (David Boreanaz) and his fiancée Lola Byrne (Tara Reid). Along with their three confederates “Pestilence” (Yuji Okumoto), “Famine” (Tito Ortiz) and “War” (Marcus Chong), Luc and Lola murder Lily and Jimmy in a brutal ritual that they hope will conjure the rebirth of the Antichrist. The ritual includes removing Lily’s eyes — bestowing precognitive powers upon Lola — and Jimmy’s heart. They dump the bodies inside an old freezer.
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The Crow then appears and returns Jimmy to life. Jimmy discovers his newfound invincibility after attempting to shoot himself. He takes Lily’s body and leaves it on her bed so it can be found. Tanner and Harold find the body and assume it was Jimmy who killed Lily.
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On the night of a local festivity, Jimmy dons a gothic costume and make-up he wore to the celebration a previous year. He finds and kills Pestilence in a bar. He then seizes the hearse carrying Lily’s body, and buries her near the tree where he carved a love symbol for them both. Jimmy goes to a casino and kills Famine in front of Luc. A fight ensues between Jimmy and Luc during which the crow, the source of Jimmy’s power, is injured, thereby weakening Jimmy. Tanner finds Jimmy and accuses him of killing Lily, but Jimmy shows Tanner telepathically what really happened.
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Luc and Lola visit El Niño (Dennis Hopper), the head of their order, at an abandoned Catholic church. Tanner and Harold and a group of men assemble outside to confront them. As El Niño is performing the marriage ceremony that will bring Luc closer to the power he craves, Jimmy, Tanner, Harold, and the other men arrive and shoot War. El Niño completes the ceremony as Jimmy enters the church. Luc, now a host for Lucifer himself, telekinetically hangs Jimmy from a cross, while Lola kills El Niño. Luc and Lola leave the church and head to a nearby burial ground where they must consummate their ritual before sunrise in order for Lucifer to fully manifest.
Image result for the crow wicked prayerHarold, Tanner, and the others free Jimmy, who tells them the crow is dying. In order to heal the bird and restore Jimmy’s powers, Harold performs the Crow Dance. Weakened, Jimmy heads to the graveyard and stops Luc from having sex with Lola. Luc and Jimmy engage in a fight and the revived crow returns, restoring Jimmy’s invulnerability. The sun rises and Luc’s ritual is destroyed. Jimmy then kills Luc by impaling him on a wooden spike and cutting his throat. Lola loses her sight and tries to repent by praying to the Virgin Mary, but it is too late: Harold apprehends her and takes her to prison. Jimmy and Lily’s spirits find each other in the afterlife.
Image result for the crow wicked prayerI honestly have to steer people away, as only the true die-hard fans would want to see it, for the sake of saying they have seen it. Every one else would be put off the movies for good!