HALLOWEEN OF HORROR REVIEW: LOST BOYS: THE TRIBE

CAST

Tad Hilgenbrink (Disaster Movie)
Angus Sutherland (Familiar Strangers)
Autumn Reeser (Sully)
Corey Feldman (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Gabrielle Rose (Dark Angel)
Shaun Sipos (Krypton)
Merwin Mondesir (Grave Encounters)
Greyston Holt (Bitten)
Tom Savini (Creepshow 2)
Daryl Shuttleworth (Flight 93)
Sarah Smyth (50/50)
Alexander Calvert (Arrow)
Corey Haim (Blown Away)
Kylie Cassie (Deadpool)
Moneca Delain (Trick r Treat)

Autumn Reeser and Tad Hilgenbrink in Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)Chris Emerson, a young former surfing pro and his younger sister Nicole move to Luna Bay, California, following the death of their parents, to live in a house owned by their aunt Jillian. Chris leaves his address at the home of Edgar Frog, the town’s surfboard shaper, in hopes of getting a job. Chris is approached at their new home by former pro surfer, Shane Powers (the half brother of David Powers from the original film), who invites him to a party that night.Corey Feldman in Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)Chris and Nicole go to the party, where Shane and his friends Kyle, Erik and Jon are entertaining themselves with the human guests. Chris showers with a girl named Lisa and Shane gets Nicole alone, chats with her for a bit, and then tricks her into drinking his blood. When Chris learns that Nicole has been with Shane, he angrily, and protectively, takes her home, where she begins to manifest vampiric strength and rage. But before Nicole kills Chris, she is knocked out by Edgar, who reveals that he is a vampire hunter, and Nicole has been infected with vampirism. Chris throws Edgar out of the house. Then, Lisa shows up and pretends to chat with Chris for a bit before she finally tries to seduce and feed on him. In fending her off, he accidentally impales her on a mounted rack of antlers, killing her explosively when she turns into stone and explodes.Corey Feldman and Tad Hilgenbrink in Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)Finally convinced of the situation, remembering what Edgar said and believing that he was right, Chris seeks out Edgar’s help. Edgar explains that Nicole is only half-vampire, and will remain that way unless she feeds, and she can be turned human again if they kill the head vampire before that. Chris interrupts her just before she can feed on Evan Monroe, a nice guy who has been courting her, and explains what is happening to her, and Nicole is surprised at what she almost did (because she believes herself to be a vegetarian). However, Shane draws her to their lair and they have sex. Chris and Edgar—who lost an unnamed sibling to the vampires—plot for Chris to “join” the tribe of vampires in order to learn the location of their lair. He drinks Shane’s blood and begins to develop vampire traits, but when the tribe (minus Shane and Nicole) feed on a group of girls, he refuses, and kills Jon by impaling him with a stick in self-defense. Edgar joins him and they go to the lair, killing Erik and Kyle. Chris impales Erik with a large drill and Edgar kills Kyle by making his head explode with a holy water balloon.Autumn Reeser in Lost Boys: The Tribe (2008)Meanwhile, Shane goads Nicole to kill Evan, whom they have bound and gagged for her, but she refuses. With Chris’ help, she impales Shane with a stake. Just as Shane attempts to pull Nicole onto the stake with him, Chris appears with a sword and decapitates him with it, returning them both to normal. They thank Edgar, who promises to bill them for his services, and Evan takes the opportunity to ask Nicole for a date. At home, they are confronted by their aunt, who believes they have been doing drugs, and promises zero tolerance. In a mid-credits scene, Edgar encounters Sam Emerson, now a vampire. They exchange some dialogue and charge at each other as the credits resume.It would be easy to dismiss this direct to DVD effort as a cheap cash-in on a cult favourite (it is definitely a shame that a sequel to such a great 80s classic didn’t get a bigger budget and a major release); however, if you approach The Tribe with an open mind and without prejudice, then there’s a good chance you’ll find much to like about it.

HALLOWEEN OF HORROR REVIEW: AMUSEMENT

Starring

Keir O’Donnell (Wedding Crashers)
Katheryn Winnick (Vikings)
Laura Breckenridge (Related)
Karley Scott Collins (Pulse 2)
Jadin Gould (Man of Steel)
Jessica Lucas (Gotham)
Alisha Boe (13 Reasons Why)
Tad Hilgenbrink (Lost Boys: The Tribe)
Reid Scott (Venom)
Rena Owen (Star Wars – Episode II)
Kevin Gage (G.I. Jane)

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Shelby

While on the highway, Shelby Leds and her boyfriend Rob Alerbe pull over for gas, joined by a semi-truck and a Jeep. At the gas station, Shelby sees a frightened woman in the truck’s back window, though Rob does not see her and tells Shelby that the trucker said he was driving alone. On the road, the same woman jumps from the truck and lands on their car. The truck continues onward as Shelby, Rob, and the driver of the Jeep stop to help the woman. Rob then drives after the truck to get its plates, but fails to catch up and returns only to discover the Jeep driver injured, with Shelby and the woman missing. The Jeep driver says the trucker took them, and they take the Jeep to an old, isolated house. The Jeep driver goes alone to the front door, where he overhears the trucker talking on the phone, claiming he is the woman’s father and that he was taking her to a rehabilitation facility for a drug addiction. Meanwhile, in the Jeep, Rob discovers Shelby and the woman under a tarp in the backseat, bound and gagged. The Jeep driver kills the trucker when he goes out and then approaches the Jeep. Rob locks the door and tries to drive away, only to discover that the keys are missing. The Jeep driver then breaks open the window with his sledgehammer and kills Rob.avatar_user990414_313539111753239

Tabitha

Elsewhere, Tabitha Wright is spending the night in her aunt’s house to babysit her cousins, Max and Danny. She finds out that their babysitter, June, had already left, though she was supposed to wait for Tabitha to arrive before leaving. Later that evening, a man claiming to be June’s boyfriend, Owen, arrives looking for her since she missed cheerleading practice. He leaves when Tabitha tells him she does not know where June is. While exploring the house, Tabitha finds the guest bedroom decorated with clown toys, and becomes particularly scared of a life-sized clown doll sitting on the rocking chair. She later talks with her aunt about the life-sized doll, but is told that the family has no such a doll. Tabitha and the boys are then attacked by the clown, who the boys insist is Owen. Tabitha helps the boys escape before hiding in the shed. Inside, she opens the closet and finds June’s corpse. The clown enters the room, his laughter similar to the Jeep driver’s.avatar_user990414_1695531774049405

Lisa

Sometime earlier, Lisa Swan and her boyfriend Dan begin searching for her roommate Cat, who had disappeared during a party the night before. They go to an old hotel that Cat said she will be at. Lisa tries to get in, but the caretaker, a man whose face is covered by a face mask, refuses to let her in. She convinces Dan to pose as a health inspector and look inside. After letting him in, the caretaker shows Dan a music player and encourages him to play it, claiming there is a surprise in the end. Dan does so, and at the end of the song, a knife flies out of the speaker, stabbing him in the eye. Unable to get in contact with Dan, Lisa sneaks into the house and meets an apparently deaf man, who leads her to a room filled with beds that have dead bodies stuffed into the mattresses. Lisa finds Cat stuffed alive in one mattress, but as she attempts to free Cat, the deaf man attacks her, revealing himself to be the killer.deianeira_circle_of_fire

Connection

In a police interrogation room, Tabitha is revealed to be alive and in shock. When she does not answer the interrogator’s questions, he leaves her alone. Tabitha then reminisces about her childhood, where she, Shelby, and Lisa were once all friends at Briar Hills Elementary School. After they were tasked to design miniature sets inside shoeboxes that can be viewed through peepholes, a male classmate demanded to see their work before showing his to Tabitha; it was of a rat chained up and its skin pulled back to reveal its organs. Tabitha is then interrogated by a therapist who asks her about Shelby and Lisa. When Tabitha says that they were all friends at Briar Hills Elementary, the therapist remembers a patient she once had who was from Briar Hills. Then, she comes to a realization and informs Tabitha that Lisa and Shelby are also here, before leaving to find a phone that works. Tabitha wanders out after her and discovers that she is not in a police station. She finds the therapist dead and sees the police interrogator, who was the killer all along, approaching.AmusementTabitha flees to the basement, where she finds herself trapped between two glass walls. Beyond either side, she finds Shelby and Lisa, bound and gagged and their skin pulled back similar to the rat in the boy’s shoebox. The killer initially taunts them, but then reveals that the two are unharmed, and that their opened skin is just a trick. Just as the man is about to kill Shelby, Tabitha pretends to laugh, prompting him to open the glass wall and approach her. Tabitha then stabs him in the neck with a scalpel she had grabbed and unties her friends. As they try to escape, Lisa and Shelby are killed, while Tabitha climbs a ladder that leads to a barn shed. She hides in a room with props used to kidnap the three women as well as the dead bodies of other people the killer had murdered. The killer surprises her as he looks through a peephole, and reveals that she is in the back of a truck, which is by the same old house where Rob died. After he drives a short distance, the truck stalls. Tabitha takes hold a spiked weapon and, when he returns to look through the peephole again, stabs him through the face, killing him.downloadTabitha restarts the truck and drives away, narrating about how she and her friends had laughed at the killer when they were young, thinking that he was a joke. After he was sent away, they had forgotten all about him, but he never forgot them. She then remarks that even though it was all over, she still cannot get his laugh out of her head.740full-amusement----------------------------------(2008)-screenshotThe best thing about Amusement is that it doesn’t try to be anything other than a horror movie. It’s not trying to be theater or shock cinema, it’s not trying to be a high-tension thriller, and it certainly isn’t designed to ‘make you think’ or carry some kind of a pseudo-political ‘message’ to viewers. Amusement isn’t great cinema, but it’s definitely a decent popcorn horror flick

REVIEW: EPIC MOVIE

CAST
Kal Penn (Superman Returns)
Adam Campbell (Date Movie)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 broke Girls)
Jayma Mays (Ugly Betty)
Crispin Glover (Alice In Wonderland)
Tony Cox (Bad Santa)
Carmen Electra (Scary Movie)
Fred Willard (Lois & Clark)
David Carradine (Kill Bill)
Kevin McDonald (That 70s Show)
Crista Flanagan (Disaster Movie)
Tad Hilgenbrink (American Pie: Band Camp)
Taran Killam (Ted 2)
Kevin Hart (Central Intelligence)
Lucy (Jayma Mays) finds that her adoptive father (David Carradine), a museum curator, has been attacked by Silas (Kevin Hart). Before dying, he gives clues which lead her to a “Golden Ticket” in a vending machine candy bar. Edward (Kal Penn) is training at a Mexican monastery to be a monk. Ignacio (Jareb Dauplaise) becomes enraged at Edward’s displeasure at the living conditions and has him beaten and thrown out the window. On the way Edward grabs a Monk’s “Golden Ticket”. Next, the film introduces Susan (Faune Chambers). She is going to Namibia to meet her new adoptive parents. While she orders water, snakes come out and hijack the plane. Samuel L. Jackson (James Walker, Sr.) pops up and starts repeatedly saying “I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!” and he throws Susan out of the plane. Susan accidentally falls on Paris Hilton and finds her “Golden Ticket” in Paris’ purse. Then the film introduces Peter (Adam Campbell), a mutant, a student at Mutant Academy, who is often teased for his chicken-like wings. One day he asks Mystique (Carmen Electra) to come with him to the homecoming dance, but he ends up bullied by Mystique’s jealous boyfriend, Wolverine (Vince Vieluf), and the Headmaster, Magneto (Jim Piddock). As Magneto wills a locker door to open and knock Peter to the ground, another student’s “Golden Ticket” falls onto Peter’s chest.
All four meet up at Willy’s Chocolate Factory. Willy (Crispin Glover) reveals his diabolical secret: he plans to use them all as the ‘special ingredient’ in the treats (which is actual human parts). In an effort to hide from the maniacal Willy, Lucy soon finds a wardrobe. On the other side, in the middle of a wintry forest, she finds Mr. Tumnus (Hector Jimenez). He welcomes Lucy to Gnarnia. Feeling a burst of compassion, he manages to warn Lucy of the danger she is in. Edward follows Lucy to Gnarnia and meets the White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge). She convinces him to trap the other orphans and he can be the king of Gnarnia in her White Castle. All four main characters make their way to Mr. Tumnus’ house, where the orphans discover that they are all related to one another, and that the White Bitch killed their parents. They ally themselves with Harry Beaver (Katt Williams), Tumnus’ life partner. While this is occurring, Peter becomes Superman, but in the dream he gets shot in the eye and causing him to falls off the building, only to find out it is a nightmare. Edward sneaks off to the White Bitch’s castle, despite realizing she intends evil. Edward refuses to tell the White Bitch where his friends are, so she flashes him her breasts, hypnotizing him into giving up the information on the orphans; he is then imprisoned. The White Bitch sends Silas after the trio; Tumnus sacrifices himself to ensure their safety.
They end up meeting a graying Harry Potter (Kevin McDonald), along with a balding Ron Weasley (George Alvarez), and a pregnant Hermione Granger (Crista Flanagan) at Hogwarts, and other characters from famous movies. They all help Lucy, Susan, and Peter train for the war against the White Bitch. It’s soon revealed she plans to create a new continent for her followers via a magic crystal; she acknowledges this is the same plot as Superman Returns. Edward escapes with the assistance of Captain Jack Swallows (Darrell Hammond), only to find out later that it was a ruse as the Captain, the Bitch’s old enemy, needs intelligence out of Edward. Jack is then stabbed by the White Bitch as the crystal is thrown in the ocean and grows, putting the witch’s plan in motion.
Upon finishing their training, Lucy, Susan, and Peter head to the camp of Aslo (Fred Willard). Aslo agrees to help Edward, and he manages to kill Silas, but while breaking Edward out, Aslo is slain by the White Bitch. Despite this, the ungrateful orphans have a pre-battle party, during which Peter and Mystique (who, along with the others who bullied Peter, had come to help the trio) get in bed where Mystique asks what he would like her to be and Peter asks for big hooters and a ghetto booty which he says is a lot of junk in the trunk which she replies kinky. He then asks for badonkadonk, but then changes his mind for a mono-brow. He finally asks for big flabby grandma arms which disgusts her and he yells bingo wings like a fat blue Brittney Spears and then says come here and they have sex. Susan gets drunk and vomits everywhere; this so disgusts their new army that nobody shows up to help the orphans the next day. Despite the presence of a revenge-craving Jack on a giant wooden wheel, the four siblings are easily dispatched by the enemy. Peter is about to be slain when he finds the remote from Click using the device’s reality altering powers to save his siblings; they kill the army and erase the White Bitch’s plot. Although the others attempt to kill her while frozen, Peter declares the White Bitch will receive a fair and just trial in the new Narnia as it will be under a democracy. However, before it can be done, Jack’s wheel accidentally crushes her. The four are crowned the new rulers of the land: Peter the Heroic; Susan the Just; Edward the Loyal; and Lucy the Dumb-shit. Tumnus then shows up, having survived his battle with Silas. Decades later, the four now elderly rulers find the wardrobe again. They appear moments after they had left, now young again. They meet Borat (Danny Jacobs), who congratulates them on a happy ending but, then, the four are accidentally run over by Jack’s wheel. Borat is mad with himself for saying it was a happy ending, so he slaps his butt, ending the film.
Extended version
The unrated, longer version (released in the United Kingdom as the “Rude & Crude Unseen Version”) of the film features some scenes not shown in the theatrical version. In the last scene, Willy Wonka, instead of Borat, comes in and says: “I told you it was going to be an epic adventure.” Willy Wonka then goes in the wardrobe and puts out a “do not disturb” sign that refers to the girl in the wardrobe. The Oompa-Loompas come in and start singing the Willy Wonka theme song. The four are then crushed by the wheel. Also, during the scene where Lucy is crushed under the junk that falls out of the “Narnia” closet, the girl who runs out is nude, as opposed to wearing a bikini. In the Snakes on a Plane scene, when the Samuel L. Jackson lookalike yells, he replaces “goddamn” with “motherfuckin'”. In the sex scene with mystique, Peter follows big hooters with the words silver dollar nipples.
The jokes were funny but the plot was a little weird. You have to be knowledgeable about recent movies to get the jokes though because this is a spoof. All in all, it was hilarious. Crispin Glover is excellent here spoofing Willa Wonka. This movie got a lot of bad reviews because eople are being too critical and uptight about it