REVIEW: PICKING UP THE PIECES

CAST

Woody Allen (New York Stories)
David Schwimmer (Nothing But The Truth)
Kiefer Sutherland (24)
Cheech Marin (Machete)
Maria Grazia Cucinotta (The World is Not Enough)
Elliott Gould (Ocean’s Eleven)
Sharon Stone (Catwoman)
Joseph Gordon-Levitt (The Dark Knight Rises)
Angélica Aragón (Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights)
Andy Dick (Less Than Perfect)
Alfonso Arau (Coco)
Mía Maestro (Savages)
Lou Diamond Phillips (Young Guns)
Fran Drescher (The Nanny)
Eddie Griffin (Undercover Brother)
Kathy Kinney (Lois & Clark)
Tony Plana (Ugly Betty)
Jon Huertas (Castle)

picking-up-the-pieces-maria-grazia-cucinotta-david-1-rct415x260uWoody Allen plays Tex, a kosher butcher. Sharon Stone plays his unfaithful wife Candy. Tex catches Candy in the act and in a fit of rage he kills her. To conceal his crime he cuts up her body and buries it in the desert in New Mexico. However, when her hand surfaces, a blind woman trips over it and it restores her sight. The hand is then considered to be the “hand of the Virgin.” Despite the church’s fallen priest objecting, the ambitious mayor of the town creates an international three-ring circus of miracle-seekers, TV crews, and born-again local prostitutes all interested in the hand. All of this goes on while Tex is desperately trying to recover the hand before the sheriff finds it and uses it as evidence against him. Screen-Shot-2014-08-07-at-10_45_10-pm-640x319A very strange, BUT movie but good! I thought it was humorous but you must like dry humor to enjoy this movie. very unrealistic and that’s what makes it good. you can sit back, watch a dumb movie and laugh!!entertaining, great cast of characters

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REVIEW: COLD CREEK MANOR

 

CAST

Dennis Quaid (Traffic)
Sharon Stone (Catwoman)
Stephen Dorff (Blade)
Juliette Lewis (Natural Born Killers)
Kristen Stewart (Twilight)
Christopher Plummer (Star Trek VI)
Wayne Robson (Cube)
Peter Outerbridge (Beuty and The Beast)

Cooper (Dennis Quaid) and Leah Tilson (Sharon Stone) are living in a cramped New York City apartment with their two children, Kristen (Kristen Stewart) and Jesse (Ryan Wilson). While on a business trip overseas, Leah’s boss informs her of an available promotion within the company, but only if she’s willing to have an affair with him. She calls Cooper while he is dropping the kids off at school but, before she can speak to him, Jesse is nearly hit by a car in the early morning traffic. Although he isn’t hurt, Leah returns home immediately and they decide living in the city is no longer a safe option for their family.

They relocate to a huge, decaying mansion out in the country, which is still filled with the possessions of the previous family who disappeared years earlier. Cooper, an unmotivated documentary filmmaker, is intrigued and sees it as an opportunity to get back into work. While cleaning up one morning, he finds many Polaroid photographs of the family including nude shots of a teenage girl. Jesse finds old clothes in his bedroom closet belonging to a young boy his age called Grady, and a book with a strange riddle written inside.

They go for breakfast at the local diner where they meet and befriend the owners, Ray and Ellen Pinski and their daughter, Stephanie. Many residents of the town, including the crass waitress of the diner, Ruby (Juliette Lewis), have heard they’re now living at the manor and feel offended that they haven’t taken the time to put the old family’s belongings into storage, which causes immediate tension. Meanwhile, the family get settled in and Cooper decides to commit its history to making a new film. One morning, they find the previous owner Dale Massie (Stephen Dorff) in their home, and they feel inclined to ask him to stay for breakfast. He tells them he’s recently been released from prison and needs help finding work, so he pressures Cooper into hiring him to help with the renovations on the house. Later on, Cooper meets Sheriff Annie Ferguson (Dana Eskelson), Ruby’s sister, who informs him that Dale’s aging and slightly demented father is living in a nearby nursing home. Cooper goes to visit him, hoping to glean some details about the house’s sinister past. Disjointed comments made by the elderly man lead him to believe that Dale murdered his wife and children, and he begins to search his 1,200-acre (4.9 km2) property for their remains. Meanwhile, although Dale initially proves to be a good worker, the underlying sense of menace he projects is unsettling and makes the family uncomfortable. Then a series of terrifying incidents start to occur, including finding dozens of poisonous snakes in their house. Although he has no proof, Cooper becomes suspicious of Dale, believing he put them there on purpose, and fires him.

That night, Leah informs Cooper about her boss’s proposition and also tells him that she was going to say yes, but that was the day Jesse was hit by the car and it put everything into perspective for her. Cooper storms out and spends the night at the local bar where he speaks with Ruby, Dale’s girlfriend, who warns Cooper about him saying, “Don’t fuck with him. He’ll rip your fucking head off.” Dale becomes angry with her being drunk and needy that he hits her, which shocks Cooper to find out how monstrous he can be. On the way home, Cooper realizes he is being followed. He speeds up but because he is intoxicated, hits something and causes him to crash. In the morning, Kristen finds her new horse dead in their backyard pool. She blames her father but Cooper is certain it was a deer he hit and not the horse.

Cooper becomes more and more suspicious when he finds other evidence such as Grady’s braces in the front yard. Then, all of his suspicions are confirmed when he and Leah discover three skeletons in Devil’s Throat, a deep well that is hidden in the woods. Using a walkie talkie, he contacts Sheriff Ferguson, unaware she has been attacked and disabled by Dale at the police station, who punctures the tires on Cooper’s truck and sets Leah’s car on fire to prevent them from escaping. Trapping them in the house in the middle of a storm that has knocked out the electricity, he forces them to rely on their wits and physical prowess to save themselves. Dale finally corners Cooper and Leah on the roof after chasing them through the mansion. Dale, now raving mad, openly declares his insanity as well as his intent to kill them (with a family sheep killing tool/mallet) and throw them down the Devil’s Throat like his family. However, the couple is able to turn the tables on their tormentor by charging him with a line of rope that knocks him off his feet. They quickly tie him down against a roof lantern (skylight) before he can break free. Cooper takes the killing tool and taunts Dale as Dale had done to him, before shattering the skylight, sending the screaming Dale to his death.

The film cuts to show that the bodies of Dale’s family are now rightly entombed in the family graveyard at Cold Creek Manor and that Cooper and his family have finally attained their wanted peace.

It is certainly far from one of the best horror films out there, but then again, people should not expect it to be, 2003’s ‘Cold Creek Manor’ is a well acted and a very entertaining piece nevertheless.

 

REVIEW: LAST ACTION HERO

CAST
Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator)
F. Murray Abraham (Thirteen Ghosts)
Art Carney (Firestarter)
Charles Dance (Game of Thrones)
Frank McRae (Rocky II)
Tom Noonan (Manhunter)
Anthony Quinn (Hercules and The Amazon Women)
Mercedes Ruehl (Big)
Austin O’Brien (Lawnmower Man 2)
Ian McKellen (The Hobbit)
Sven-Ole Thorsen (Mallrats)
Tina Turner (Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdrome)
Angie Everhart (Garden of Evil)
James Belushi (Red Heat)
Robert Patrick (Tammy)
Sharon Stone (Total Recall)
Jean-Claude Van Damme (Universal Soldier)
Danny Madigan is a teenage boy living in a crime-ridden area of New York City with his widowed mother Irene. To escape from his harsh reality, Danny often skips school to watch movies at the run-down Pandora movie theater, owned and managed by Danny’s friend Nick. Nick receives the film reels for Jack Slater IV, the latest in one of Danny’s favorite film series about the titular Los Angeles police detective and violent action hero, and offers to show it to Danny at a private screening just before the world premiere. To mark the occasion, Nick tears up a special ticket he received from Harry Houdini years ago, giving one half of the stub to Danny as a keepsake.
As the film starts, Danny is unaware that the stub glows with magic. When a lit stick of dynamite exits the film during a car chase scene and lands in the theater, Danny instinctively ducks for cover. When he comes to, he finds that he is now in the film, riding along with Slater who is in disbelief as how Danny arrived. At the LAPD headquarters, Danny tries to explain how this is all a film and explaining who the bad guys are, but Slater does not accept this. Despite this, Slater’s supervisor, Lt. Dekker, assigns Danny to work with Slater given his apparent knowledge of the villain. Danny leads Slater to the home of mob boss Tony Vivaldi which he saw in the opening of the film. Vivaldi denies any wrong doing and Slater is unable to arrest him despite Danny’s assurance of his crime. As they depart, Vivaldi’s assassin, Mr. Benedict, overhears Danny talking about the ticket stub, and discretely follows the two. That night, Benedict orders an attack on Slater’s home while he is introducing Danny to his daughter, Whitney. While Slater and Whitney fend off the attackers, Benedict is able to steal the ticket stub from Danny.
From the attack, Slater learns of Vivaldi’s plot to kill a rival mob family at a rooftop funeral service using nerve gas, and he and Danny are able to foil the attack. Whitney helps to drive them to Vivaldi’s home, but they arrive just after Benedict has killed Vivaldi and used the ticket stub to create a portal to the real world. Danny and Slater follow. They lose track of Benedict quickly, and Slater becomes dishearted by the reality of this New York City. Danny introduces Slater to his mother, and from her, Slater comes to appreciate the harsh reality instead of the glamorized world he lives in, vowing to take a softer stance. They learn that Benedict believes he can kill Slater in this world by killing the actor that plays him, Arnold Schwarzenegger. After chasing Benedict down to the premiere of Jack Slater IV and saving Schwarzenegger’s life, they corner Benedict on the roof, finding that he has brought the Ripper, the villain from Jack Slater III and who had killed Slater’s son in that film. The Ripper attempts to kill Danny but Slater stops him in time. However, Danny ends up thrown from the roof and hanging for his life. As Slater attempts to rescue him, Benedict mortally shoots Slater and monologues on how he will use the ticket to bring more villains to life and take over this world. Danny uses the opportunity to knock Benedict down, and Slater is able to kill Benedict by firing into his exploding glass eye. The ticket stub flies free to the streets before they can grab it, and with no other ideas, Danny helps Slater back to the Pandora hoping to find a way to return Jack to his world where he should heal quickly due to its fictional nature.
Shortly after they arrive, they find that Death from the The Seventh Seal, pulled out of the film by the loose ticket stub, has followed them. However, it is revealed that Death only approached the two out of curiosity: because of Slater’s fictional nature, “he’s not on any of [Death’s] lists.” After Danny explains the situation, Death suggests to find the other half of the ticket stub before departing. Danny empties the lobby stub box and finds the still glowing other half of the ticket stub and uses it to pull Slater back into the film. There, Slater quickly heals, his wound barely a scratch. After Danny calls for help, Slater tells Danny he must return to his world, and the two say their goodbyes. Danny returns and excited tells Nick of his adventure as Jack Slater IV ends, with Slater tells Dekker of his new insights on the world before driving off into the sunset.
It may be a satire, but Last Action Hero just may be one of the last true action films. Real stunts, real explosions, real destruction, reality gone twisted. It’s Arnold’s most subversive movie, and it’s many things, but bad ain’t one of them.

db.com

 

REVIEW: ALPHA DOG

CAST

Emile Hirsch (Speed Racer)
Justin Timberlake (The Social Network)
Ben Foster (The Punisher)
Shawn Hatosy (The Faculty)
Anton Yelchin (Star Trek)
Sharon Stone (Total Recall)
Bruce Willis (Die Hard)
Chris Marquette (Freddy vs Jason)
Dominique Swain (Praire Fever)
Olivia Wilde (Cowboys & Aliens)
Amanda Seyfried (Ted 2)
Vincent Kartheiser (Angel)
Lukas Haas (Mars Attacks)
Heather Wahlquist (John Q)
Harry Dean Stanton (Avengers Assemble)
Joshua Alba (Unrest)
Amber Heard (Zombieland)

Johnny Truelove is a young marijuana dealer living in Southern California. His father, Sonny, supplies him with marijuana, which Johnny distributes to his gang of friends, including Jake Mazursky, who owes Johnny a $1,200 drug debt. Mazursky makes a failed attempt at asking his father, Butch, and stepmother Olivia for the money. Meanwhile, Butch and Olivia are dealing with their rebellious teenage son Zack- Jake’s half-brother. A fight breaks out between Jake and Johnny when Jake tries to pay Johnny only part of his debt. After back and forth retaliation, Johnny and his two henchmen, Frankie Ballenbacher and Tiko Martinez, go to confront Jake in person, but when they go to his house he is nowhere to be found. As they leave, they find Zack walking and decide to kidnap him with the intent of holding onto him until Jake pays his debt.
Wanting a break from his home life, Zack makes no effort to escape. Johnny pawns Zack off on Frankie, who offers him a chance to escape, but Zack declines the offer, not wanting to cause any trouble for his brother. Zack stays with Frankie at his father’s house, and the two strike up an unlikely friendship. The next day, he ingratiates himself with Frankie’s friends, including Keith Stratten and Julie, the youngest member of the group. A number of friends of the gang learn of Zack’s kidnapping, though Susan is the only one who seems concerned. Frankie grows nervous when Johnny tells him they could be in serious trouble for the kidnapping, and hypothetically offers him $2,500 to murder Zack. Frankie furiously declines and Johnny claims it was just a joke. Instead, Johnny agrees to Frankie’s plan to pay Zack to keep his mouth shut. However, after a threatening phone call from Jake, and his lawyer who reveals that he could face life in prison for kidnapping, he decides the risk of ending up dead or in prison is too great to let Zack go. Johnny calls Elvis Schmidt and offers to erase his drug debt if he kills Zack. Frankie and his friends still believe Zack will be returning home at the end of the night and throw a raucous going away party. Zack has a good time at the party and later goes skinny-dipping with Julie and her friend Alma in the pool, which leads to a three-some. After the party, Julie gives Zack her number and Alma gives him a good-bye kiss on the cheek.
Elvis arrives at the hotel where Zack is waiting to be picked up, and Frankie and Elvis begin to argue when Elvis reveals that Johnny has sent him there to kill Zack. Frankie ends up leaving, and Elvis takes Keith to dig a grave. Frankie offers Zack a final opportunity to escape, but believing that he is now part of the group and will be returning home soon, Zack prefers to wait at the hotel for Elvis to return. Meanwhile, Sonny, Cosmo (Johnny’s godfather), and Johnny’s lawyer confront Johnny, who refuses to call off the hit. Elvis and Keith return to the hotel, and Frankie and Elvis go outside to talk. Frankie, reluctant because of the friendship he has formed with Zack, finally relents when Elvis tells him they could face life in prison if Zack tells someone what happened.
Frankie, Elvis, Zack, and Keith arrive at the grave site. Zack is not aware of what’s going on and grows suspicious when a deeply saddened Keith tells Frankie he can’t go through with it, and goes to wait in the car after giving Zack a goodbye hug. Zack sees the grave and begins to break down, begging Frankie and Elvis to let him go. Frankie tells Elvis they shouldn’t go through with it, but Elvis is keen on the job he’s been given. Frankie calms Zack down, and ties him up with duct tape. He is surprised when Elvis knocks Zack into the grave with a shovel, and shoots him multiple times with an automatic Tec 9, killing him.
Zack’s body is found three days later. The epilogue shows the aftermath of the crime: Olivia, now suffering from obesity and depression, is interviewed, and talks candidly about her failed suicide attempts and the loss that she has experienced from her son’s death. Susan angrily confronts Frankie over Zack’s death and goes to the authorities. Elvis is caught while trying to secure a ride out of L.A. Johnny flees the city and arrives at the house of old classmate Buzz Fecske, who drives him back to his godfather Cosmo’s house, where he enters and is not seen again. Tiko, Keith and Frankie are arrested. After being convicted, they all serve their respective sentences: Tiko serves nine years in prison for kidnapping; Keith serves time at a juvenile facility until the age of 25 for digging Zack’s grave; Frankie serves seven years to life for kidnapping and second-degree murder; and Elvis is put on death row for murdering Zack. Johnny, however, is nowhere to be found. The interviewer asks Sonny how Johnny was able to escape authorities for four years without help, but Sonny assures him that he doesn’t know where Johnny is. In 2005, after over five years of being on the America’s most wanted list, Johnny is finally found and arrested in Paraguay. Text informs the audience that Johnny is in California awaiting trial, and, if proven guilty, faces the death penalty.
Alpha Dog is based on the real life story of LA drug dealer Jesse James Hollywood who may just have a sillier name than his onscreen counterpart.  The story jumps around a lot but there are some very well filmed and well acted moments that make this better than just another LA crime film.

REVIEW: TOTAL RECALL (1990)

CAST

Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator)
Sharon Stone (Catwoman)
Rachel Ticotin (Con Air)
Ronny Cox (Robocop)
Michael Ironside (X-Men: First Class)
Mel Johnson, Jr. (Hideous!)
Marshall Bell (Twins)
Robert Constanzo (Batman: TAS)
Marc Alaimo (Star Trek: DS9)
Dean Norris (The Cell)
Debbie Lee Carrington (Men In Black)
Lycia Naff (Star Trek: TNG)
Robert Picardo (Stargate: Atlantis)
Mickey Jones (V)

In 2084, Earthbound construction worker Douglas Quaid is having troubling dreams about Mars and a mysterious woman there. His wife Lori dismisses the dreams and discourages him from thinking about Mars, where the governor, Vilos Cohaagen, is fighting rebels while searching for a rumored alien artifact located in the mines. At “Rekall”, a company that provides memory implants of vacations, Quaid opts for a memory trip to Mars as a secret agent fantasy. However, during the procedure, before the memory is implanted, something goes wrong, and the story diverges between the question of what is real and what is hallucination. Apparently, Quaid starts revealing previously suppressed memories of actually being a secret agent. The company sedates him, wipes his memory of the visit, and sends him home. On the way home, Quaid is attacked by his friend Harry and some construction coworkers; he is forced to kill them, revealing elite fighting-skills. He is then attacked in his apartment by Lori, who reveals that she was never his wife; their marriage was just a false memory implant and Cohaagen sent her as an agent to monitor Quaid. He is then attacked and pursued by armed thugs led by Richter, Lori’s real husband and Cohaagen’s operative.
After evading his attackers, Quaid is given a suitcase containing money, gadgets, fake IDs, a disguise, and a video recording. The video is of Quaid himself, who identifies himself as “Hauser” and explains that he used to work for Cohaagen, but learned about the artifact and underwent the memory wipe to protect himself. “Hauser” instructs Quaid to remove a tracking device located inside his skull before ordering him to go to Mars and check into the Hilton with a fake ID. Quaid makes his way to Mars and follows clues to Venusville, the colony’s red-light district, primarily populated by people mutated as a result of poor radiation shielding. He meets Benny, a taxi driver, and Melina, the woman from his dreams; but she spurns him, believing that Quaid is still working for Cohaagen.
Quaid later encounters Dr. Edgemar and Lori, who claim Quaid has suffered a “schizoid embolism” and is trapped in a fantasy based on the implanted memories. Edgemar warns that Quaid is headed for lunacy and a lobotomy if he does not return to reality, then offers Quaid a pill that would waken him from the dream. Quaid puts the pill in his mouth, but after seeing Edgemar sweating in fear, he kills Edgemar and spits out the pill instead of swallowing it. Lori alerts Richter’s forces, who burst into the room and capture Quaid, but Melina rescues him, with Quaid killing Lori in the process. The two race back to the Venusville bar and escape into the tunnels with Benny. Unable to locate Quaid, Cohaagen shuts down the ventilation to Venusville, slowly asphyxiating its citizens. Quaid, Melina, and Benny are taken to a resistance base, and Quaid is introduced to Kuato, a parasitic twin conjoined to his brother’s stomach. Kuato reads Quaid’s mind and tells him that the alien artifact is a turbinium reactor that will create a breathable atmosphere for Mars when activated, eliminating Cohaagen’s abusive monopoly on breathable air. Cohaagen’s forces burst in and kill most of the resistance, including Kuato, who instructs Quaid to start the reactor. Benny reveals that he is also working for Cohaagen.
Quaid and Melina are taken to Cohaagen, who reveals the Quaid persona was a ploy by Hauser to infiltrate the mutants and lead Cohaagen to Kuato, thereby wiping out the resistance. Cohaagen orders Hauser’s memory to be re-implanted in Quaid and Melina programmed as Hauser’s obedient wife, but Quaid and Melina escape into the mines where the reactor is located. They work their way to the control room of the reactor, and Benny attacks them in an excavation machine. Quaid kills Benny, then confronts Richter and his men, killing them too.
Quaid reaches the reactor control room, where Cohaagen is waiting with a bomb. During the ensuing struggle, Cohaagen triggers the bomb, but Quaid throws it away, blowing out one of the walls of the control room and causing an explosive decompression. While reaching for the reactor controls, Quaid knocks out Cohaagen, which causes him to be sucked out onto the Martian surface, killing him. Quaid manages to activate the reactor before he and Melina are also pulled out. The reactor releases air into the Martian atmosphere, saving Quaid, Melina and the rest of Mars’ population. As humans walk onto the surface of the planet in its new atmosphere, Quaid momentarily pauses to wonder whether he is dreaming before turning to kiss Melina.
Good Si-Fi story. The special effects are, as expected, a little dated now but was state of the art for the 90’s. Story moves at a great pace and Arnie is at his usual best with great one liners “consider this a divorce” to Sharon Stone as his evil wife. I prefer this version to the re-boot in 2012.

REVIEW: BEYOND THE STARS

CAST

Martin Sheen (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Christian Slater (True Romance)
Robert Foxworth (Syriana)
Sharon Stone (Catwoman)
Olivia d’Abo (Conan The Destroyer)
F. Murrary Abrahams (Last Action Hero)
Don S. Davis (Stargate SG.1)
William B. Davis (The X-Files)

1

Eric (Christian Slater) has his dream in sight and is willing to do anything to one day accomplish it. Eric wants to walk among the stars and touch the face of the moon. When he is sent to his father’s house in Ceder Bay Oregon for shooting a model rocket through a school window; He realizes that an ex-astronaut (Martin Sheen) is living in the same town as his father. To Eric this man is a legend, someone who has been where he one day wants to go. Eric meets a beautiful girl who just so happens to know this living hero. But Paul Andrews (The Astronaut), is nothing but; He is now a drunk, who wants to be left alone and never wants to talk about his time away from our home.

Eric is severly hurt but eventually decides to do what ever it takes to be Paul’s friend. Eric gets his break when Mr. Andrews offers him to help in constructing a grand greenhouse. Knowing that he won’t get any money, Eric still agrees to help him. And through this decision they grow as true friends and there friendship eventually brings Eric and his father closer than they’ve ever been before. What Eric doesn’t know is that some years earlier on Paul’s last mission to the moon; He stumbled upon something magical buried within a crater. And as he was attempting to uncover the ancient relic a heavy cloud of radiation caught up with him, taking a piece of his life as it passed by. Paul knew that he was poisoned and that it was too late to escape the wrath of the deadly cloud; So he ordered his men to safely lock the hatch to the pod. They had to set helplessly, knowing that through the passage of many years the radiation would eventually take the rest of him. Paul decided in the dark of the lunar surface that the relic would be his and that no one would ever find out – that is, until Eric comes along. This story is an inspiring. It asks so many important questions and shows us that friendship is an important part of life; Without it this world would be an empty place. This movie in a way models our own life – We all dream – We all want our privacy – And we all question our own existence.

REVIEW: CATWOMAN

CAST

Halle Berry (X-Men)
Benjamin Bratt (Demolition Man)
Lambert Wilson (Jefferson In Paris)
Frances Conroy (How I Met Your Mother)
Sharon Stone (Total Recall)
Alex Borstein (Family Guy)
Michael Massee (Flashforward)
Byron Mann (Arrow)
Peter Wingfield (Highlander: The Series)
Ona Grauer (V)
Peter Williams (Stargate SG.1)
Missy Peregrym (Heroes)
Christopher Heyerdahl (Sanctuary)
Kim Smith (Van Wilder)
Ryan Robbins (Caprica)
Janet Varney (Drillbit Taylor)

Halle Berry was given the Golden Razzi Award for worst actress of the year for this film. I think she’s being unjustifiably picked on, as neither her or the film is really that bad. Maybe the critics got stuck into her because they felt that such an esteemed, talented actress, who has reached A-list Oscar stardom shouldn’t be demeaning herself by playing a kiddy-friendly superhero. But this doesn’t belay the fact, that Halle is great as Catwoman – her kick-butt style, and her vampish sexiness lends it self ideally to the role as she slinks, struts, meows and purrs her way through the film.
Tracing the modern day Catwoman persona back to Ancient Egypt, the film starts out with an almost mythical subtext, as a mysterious, and very old cat called Midnight arrives in a city that which looks strangely like Toronto. At the same time we meet Patience Phillips (Berry), a ruffled, introverted, and shy graphic designer, who designs advertisements for a big cosmetics company run by the reptilian George Hedare (Lambert Wilson), and his frosty, but beautiful wife, Laurel (Sharon Stone). During the course of her day Patience tries to rescue Midnight from a ledge above her apartment and is saved from falling from a high window by Tom Lone (Benjamin Bratt), a kindhearted and studly cop.

One night, while dropping off a portfolio of material at the company’s headquarters, Patience overhears some deadly corporate secrets involving some face cream that is deadly poisonous. The security officers’ corner and murder her, but she is bought back to life by Midnight who performs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on her waterlogged body and thus endows her with super-human feline powers. Soon Patience starts to manifest cat-like characteristics: she begins to sleep on high shelves, leaps up on to railings, hisses at dogs as she walks down the street, and even eats cat food straight out of the can!

The film gets steadily campier and more over-the-top, as Patience – now part “Catwoman” begins to enjoy her newfound strength, power, and freedom. She goes to an eccentric zany cat lady (Frances Conroy) who explains to Patience that she has become a cat woman and that cat women were servants of the Egyptian goddess Bast. They date back to ancient times and reappear throughout history. Together with this knowledge, Patience equips herself with whips, diamond-studded claws, and sexy leather lingerie, and vows to take revenge on those who have “murdered” her.

Director Pitof has a real flare for the visual and he infuses the movie with lots of moody, over drenched colors, which are generally quite effective in adding a kind of overstated glamour to the proceedings. And the twisty camera moves and stroboscopic editing, does have a certain dissolute flair, which lends itself quite well to the cartoonish, almost music video atmosphere. Everything looks fake, sleek and model-like, and not at all realistic.

Thematically, there isn’t much going on here. Although there are some limited attempts to instill some issues surrounding the value of feminine independence, and the emptiness of manufactured and artificial beauty. The script is frequently terrible, consisting mostly of lots of silly one-liners, like “cat got your tongue.” The acting is passable, with Halle much more comfortable as the charming, self-assured Catwoman than she is as the crumbling, diffident Patience. But it is Sharon Stone who almost steals the show, playing it all for camp exactitude, and showing us that there is a still lot of acting life left in the old girl yet.