REVIEW: MELISSA & JOEY – SEASON 1-4

 

MAIN CAST

Melissa Joan Hart (Sabrina: TTW)
Joey Lawrence (Blossom)
Taylor Spreitler (Amityville: The Awakening)
Nick Robinson (Jurassic World)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Lucy DeVito (Girls)
Elizabeth Ho (Fifty Shades of Black)
Megan Hilty (Shrek The Third)
Rachel G. Fox (Dream House)
Scott Michael Foster (The Pact 2)
Chris Brochu (The Vampire Diaries)
Christopher Rich (Boston Legal)
Anya Monzikova Iron Man 2)
Joel McKinnon Miller (Super 8)
Christine Lakin (Hollywood Darlings)
Gregg Sulkin (Runaways)
Cody Linley (Sharknado 5)
Rita Rudner (The Wrong Guys)
Trevor Donovan (Savages)
Justin Hartley (Smallville)
Sterling Knight (17 Again)
Sadie Calvano (Mom)
Jada Facer (Henry Danger)
Brooke Burke (The Wraith)
Matthew Lawrence (Superhuman Samurai Syber-Squad)
Kevin Fonteyne (Sun Records)
Hayley Erin (General Hospital)
Greer Grammer (The Middle)
Tara Strong (Batman: The Killing Joke)
Doris Roberts (Everybody Loves ryamond)
Ian Reed Kesler (Birds of Prey)
George Wyner (Spaceballs)
Beth Broderick (Sabrina: TTW)
Andrew Lawrence (Bean)]
Meaghan Martin (Mean Girls 2)
Vivia A. Fox (Independence Day)
Lesliee Grossman (The Neighbours)
John Ratzenberger (Cheers)
Debi Mazar (Batman Forever)
Jaime Pressly (Mom)
John Ross Bowie (The Big Bang Theory)
David Lascher (Sabrina: TTW)
Don Stark (That 70s Show)
John Ducey (Bones)
Alimi Ballard (Dark Angel)
Shannon Elizabeth (American Pie)
Marla Sokoloff (Fuller House)
Elizabeth Berkley (Saved By The Bell)
Yvette Nicole Brown (Community)
Mo Gaffney (That 70s Show)
Sean O’Bryan (London Has Fallen)
Krista Allen (The Final Destination)
Elisa Donovan (Sabrina: TTW)
David Starzuk (Veronica Mars)
Danny Woodburn (Bones)
Jessica Barth (Ted)
Nakia Burrise (Power Rangers Zeo)

Mel Burke is having trouble with her niece, Lennox. As she tries to juggle being a councillor and a guardian, she gets a little overwhelmed. Her assistant, Rhonda, suggests she get a nanny. Mel is hesitant to do so until she finds out Lennox wrote a poem about her principal, Miss Lunt (Vernee Watson), that wasn’t so nice. Mel relents and decides to hire a nanny. Before leaving for a meeting, Joseph “Joe” Longo knocks on her door. He apologizes for an outburst and asks if she can get him a job. Mel realizes he was the head of her brother-in-law’s company. (It is mentioned that her brother-in-law ran off leaving the company in disarray and it is implied that he ran off with the millions Joe made for him and left his wife to take the blame. The result is her being in federal prison and the reason for the children having to stay with Mel.) She explains that there is a hiring freeze downtown so she can’t get him a job. Joe then offers to be her new nanny. Joe takes Ryder to school so Mel won’t miss her meeting. Mel comes home later to take Lennox to school so she can apologize to Miss Lunt. If she doesn’t apologize, Lennox cannot go back to school. Mel finds that Ryder is still at home and Lennox is gone. After leaving, Joe sees an online posting from Lennox and realizes she is on the roof. He convinces her to go eat her “big bowl of stink” instead of letting Mel eat it for her. Mel comes back impressed until she finds out Joe paid Lennox fifty dollars to go to the school and apologize to the principal. They later decide to give him a try being the nanny.This show has a bit if everything. Witty humour. Not so witty humour. Moments of nostalgia for those of us who loved Melissa Joan hart in Sabrina and Clarissa explains it all. But this show also has moments of real emotion that stop you in your tracks for a second and keep you gripped to the underlying story lines. Each character has their own quirks and as you get to know them you really begin to appreciate the level of detail the writers have gone to in order to keep the characters alive and interesting.

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REVIEW: AMERICAN PIE: REUNION

CAST

Jason Biggs (Boys and Girls)
Alyson Hannigan (How I Met Your Mother)
Chris Klein (Election)
Thomas Ian Nicholas (Halloween: Resurrection)
Eddie Kaye Thomas (American Dad)
Seann William Scott (Goon)
Tara Reid (Urban Legend)
Mena Suvari (Loser)
John Cho (Sleepy Hollow)
Eugene Levy (Cheaper By The Dozen 2)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls)
Natasha Lyonne (Comic Book Villains)
Dania Ramirez (Heroes)
Ali Cobrin (Bad Neighbors)
Katrina Bowden (Scary Movie 5)
Jay Harrington (Better Off Ted)
Chuck Hittinger (Boogeyman 3)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Chris Owen (The Mist)
Rebecca De Mornay (The Hand That Rocks The Cradle)
Justin Isfeld (Fraternity House)
Charlene Amoia (How I Met Your Mother)
Vik Sahay (Chuck)
Neil Patrick Harris (A Series of Unfortnate Events)
Molly Cheek (Drag Me To Hell)

Thirteen years after graduating from high school, Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs), Chris “Oz” Ostreicher (Chris Klein), Kevin Myers (Thomas Ian Nicholas), Paul Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), and Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott) are well-established in their lives and careers. Jim lives in the Chicago area and is still married to Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) and now has a two-year-old son, Evan. Since the birth of their son, Jim and Michelle’s sex life has deteriorated. Oz is an NFL sportscaster living in Los Angeles with his supermodel girlfriend Mia (Katrina Bowden). Kevin is married to Ellie and works from home as an architect. Finch tells his friends that he has been travelling the world, and still searching for his one true love. Stifler works as a temp at an investment firm, where he is also the victim of humiliating verbal abuse by his cold-hearted employer.Former classmate John (John Cho), one half of the ‘MILF’ duo, organizes a Class of 1999 high school reunion in East Great Falls. Jim and Michelle return to Jim’s old home, where his father Noah (Eugene Levy) is now a widower. Jim encounters his neighbor Kara (Ali Cobrin), whom he used to babysit and who is soon to turn 18. Jim meets Oz, Kevin, and Finch at a bar, where they meet Selena Vega (Dania Ramirez), Michelle’s best friend from band. Stifler appears unexpectedly, and joins them for weekend activities.The next day, the group goes to the beach. Oz meets his high school girlfriend, Heather (Mena Suvari), who is dating a cardiologist named Ron (Jay Harrington), and Kevin reconnects with Vicky (Tara Reid). The guys have an altercation with Kara’s boyfriend, A.J., (Chuck Hittinger) and his friends, which ends with Stifler defecating in their beer cooler and destroying their jet skis. That night, most of the group go to the falls and find a high school party celebrating Kara’s birthday. Finch and Selena reconnect, and they fall in love. Kara gets drunk; Jim drives her home, and she tries to seduce him. They are discovered by John, who simply mistakes Kara for Michelle. Oz, Finch, and Stifler help Jim return Kara to her parents’ home, but A.J. spots them. Kevin wakes up hungover next to Vicky and assumes they had sex.Jim and Michelle attend a party thrown by Stifler, hoping to recreate their prom night, and bring Noah along. Noah gets drunk and encounters Stifler’s mother Jeanine (Jennifer Coolidge) for the first time. Kevin confronts Vicky about the night before, but she insists there was no sex. Mia takes ecstasy, and Ron humiliates Oz. A newly sympathetic Heather comforts Oz, and they reconcile. They are interrupted by Mia, who starts a fight with Heather. Stifler performs oral sex on a former classmate named “Long Lips” Loni hoping she would return the favor, only to strike out. By this point in the story, Jim has told Kara that he does not care about her. A fight ensues between A.J. and his gang against Jim and his friends, which is disrupted by police. But the police only arrest Finch for stealing a motorcycle, which Stifler finds amusing. Exasperated by Stifler’s immaturity, the guys blast him, and finally admit that they did not want him to ruin things like he always does. Distraught, Stifler ends the party.Mia leaves Oz, Stifler decides to skip the reunion, and Michelle goes to her grandmother’s. At the reunion, Finch admits that he is an assistant manager at Staples and stole the motorcycle from his boss when he did not receive a raise that was promised. The boys apologize to Stifler at his place of work, and insist that he is their friend saying “he is their asshole”; without him, high school would not have been any fun. Stifler is uplifted by this and quits his job – but not before standing up to his patronizing boss – and attends the reunion. Kevin reconciles with Vicky. Finch makes amends with Selena for lying, and they have sex in the bathroom – but not before a premonition of something vague but bad happening, which is that Stifler is having sex with his mother, as revenge on him for having sex with Stifler’s mother. Oz reunites with Heather (a result of Stifler beating up Ron), and Jim reconciles with Michelle. Jessica (Natasha Lyonne) reveals that she is a lesbian, and with Stifler’s help, Sherman (Chris Owen) hooks up with Loni. Stifler is asked to be a party planner for a wedding for his former lacrosse teammates.He also meets Finch’s mother Rachel (Rebecca De Mornay) who intrigues Stifler by telling him she wishes her son were more into sports. After Rachel makes a brazen sexual pass at Stifler using lacrosse equipment-related innuendos, Rachel and Stifler proceed to have sex on the lacrosse field, while Rachel loudly and passionately agrees with Stifler’s proclamations about his manliness. John is reunited with his estranged buddy, Justin (Justin Isfeld) (MILF Guy #1) and they watch Stifler having sex with Finch’s mom while chanting “MILF! MILF! MILF!”. The next morning, Jim and Kara share a tender moment while apologizing to each other for their behavior. Oz plans to stay in town with Heather, Finch plans a trip with Selena to Europe, and Stifler drops subtle hints about sleeping with Finch’s mom. Kevin proposes a pact for them to reunite once a year. They all agree and make a toast as the franchise’s theme song (“Laid”) plays. As the credits roll, Stifler says, “I fucked Finch’s mom!” in a half-whisper, leaving Finch disgusted. In a mid-credits scene, Noah Levenstein receives sexual gratification from Stifler’s Mom at a movie theatre.There a couple new characters but none of them are annoying or take up too much of the story, all those parts are well cast. Jim’s Dad and Stifler’s Mom are hilarious on screen together. Jim’s Dad is the funniest he has ever been- but again- not in an over the top way. All in all, it’s a well-written, well-rounded film with some good plot twists. Tons of references too the old films. Literally, all of the obscure characters from the first two make an appearance at some point.

 

REVIEW: AMERICAN PIE 2

CAST

Jason Biggs (Evil Woman)
Alyson Hannigan (How I Met Your Mother)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Chris Klein (Election)
Thomas Ian Nicholas (Rookie of The Year)
Natasha Lyonne (Orange Is The New Black)
Tara Reid (Urban Legend)
Eddie Kaye Thomas (American Dad)
Seann WIlliam Scott (Goon)
Mena Suvari (Loser)
Eugene Levy (Cheaper By The Dozen 2)
Chris Owen (October Sky)
Molly Cheek (Drag Me To Hell)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls)
Denise Faye (Chicago)
Lisa Arturo (Garden Party)
John Cho (Sleepy Hollow)
Justin Isfeld (Fraternity House)
Eli Marienthal (The Iron Giant)
Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)
George Wyner (Spaceballs)
Joelle Carter (Justified)
Larry Drake (Darkman)
Lee Garlington (A Lot Like love)
Tsianina Joelson (Bring it On)
Lacey Beeman (Coach Carter)
Joanna Garcia Swisher (The Internship)
Nora Zehetner (Heroes)
Adam Brody (Jennifers Body)
Kevin Kilner (Earth: Final Conflict)

After breaking up for the summer, the four friends regroup for a party held by Stifler (Seann William Scott), their overtly sex-crazed class clown and good friend. His party is shut down thanks in part to the neighbors calling the police. Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas) is inspired by his brother to make his summer with his friends count by renting a beach home. He, Jim, Oz and Finch plan to take off to a beach house together, where they intend to spend the summer. Kevin realizes a problem and worked out that they can only afford the house if they have a fifth member to work along with them. Stifler takes charge of much of the organizing, often ending up leading the group in their misadventures.Oz (Chris Klein) is miserable, being away from his girlfriend Heather (Mena Suvari) who is in Spain. During the stay at the beach house, they proceed to start having phone sex to vent some of their loneliness, which ends up being interrupted by Stifler. Heather later shows up early to the party, ending the short storyline that Oz is involved in. After arriving in Grand Harbor they settle in, they manage to find work painting a house (based on the Tuition Painters franchise) in the area together, mistaking the owners for lesbians. Jim (Jason Biggs), Stifler and Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas) end up performing “like for like” sexual acts on each other in return for being able to watch the girls doing the same thing. Oz and Kevin take turns watching up a ladder and listening on the walkie-talkie also in the room. The conversation is accidentally picked up and heard by many other people in the neighborhood. Finally at the end of the last party, Stifler manages to have a wild threesome with the owners of the house.After this, many concurrent stories run at the same time, some interacting with each other, others staying mainly separate. Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth) is coming to visit Jim in August. When she arrives early, Jim asks for help from band geek Michelle (Alyson Hannigan), humiliating himself in front of the audience when he pretends to be Petey, a mentally challenged boy who plays the trombone. They pretend to be in a relationship so that Nadia will not expect Jim to have sex (Jim is involved in an incident involving a tube of super glue he mistook for lube; he accidentally glued his hand to his penis while watching a porno film and injured himself, leaving him wounded and unable to perform). Jim and Michelle break the mock relationship off once he is ready to have sex with Nadia, but by then Michelle has really fallen in love with Jim, and soon Jim realizes that he has found his soul-mate in Michelle. Nadia also realizes this and tells him, “Go, get your band geek, and I will find mine”. Jim goes and plays the trombone once more whilst Michelle is playing the flute at a major recital in order to show her that she is the one he wants to be with.Finch has become involved in the sexual art of Tantra, and claims that through Tantra he can “make an orgasm last for days”. He is waiting for Stifler’s Mom (Jennifer Coolidge), who he had sex with in the first film, hoping she will show up and be willing to do it again. He thinks she arrives when a vehicle turns up after Stifler is talking on the phone, but it turns out to be his little brother Matt (Eli Marienthal), the star of later films. He spends the night talking with a few girls, but he doesn’t sleep with any of them. The next morning, after the party, a Mercedes coupe with darkened windows turns up, Finch approaches and it turns out Stifler’s Mom has come after all. He jumps at the chance and they drive off together, Stifler not realizing until after the car has driven off that it was Finch and his mother. After being asked, she reveals her name is Janine, but also instructs Finch to resume calling her “Stifler’s mom” as per usual.The geeky Sherman (Chris Owen) gives up on getting anyone after he is turned down by the experienced and sharp-tongued Jessica (Natasha Lyonne), but the rejected Nadia, who wanted Jim because he was a geek, is turned on by his “Sherminator” gimmick, and they end up in bed together. Kevin doesn’t end up “getting off” with anyone, but he does seem to succeed in getting over Vicky (Tara Reid) after making advances on her throughout the film.This is one of the all time best comedies of recent times. With all the favourites back for a sequel, it doesnt disappoint. With the same humour but more orginal storylines, this is a must see for any movie fan.

REVIEW: AMERICAN PIE

CAST

Jason Biggs (Evil Woman)
Chris Klein (Election)
Thomas Ian Nicholas (Rookie of The Year)
Alyson Hannigan (How I Met Your Mother)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Tara Reid (Urban Legend)
Eddie Kaye Thomas (American Dad)
Seann WIlliam Scott (Goon)
Eugene Levy (Cheaper By The Dozen 2)
Natasha Lyonne (Orange Is The New Black)
Mena Suvari (Loser)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls)
Chris Owen (October Sky)
Eric Lively (The Butterfly Effect 2)
Molly Cheek (Drag Me To Hell)
Lawrence Pressman (Mother and Child)
Clyde Kusatsu (The Interpreter)
Christina Milian (Bring it On 5)
Justin Isfled (Sticks & Stones)
John Cho (Sleepy Hollow)
Eli Marienthal (The Iron Giant)
James DeBello (Cabin Fever)
Jillian Bach (Two Guys and a Girl)
Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)

Five high school seniors from West Michigan are good friends: Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs), an awkward, nerdy and sexually naïve character whose dad Noah (Eugene Levy) attempts to offer sexual advice including purchasing and giving him pornography; Chris “Oz” Ostreicher (Chris Klein), a member of the high school lacrosse team; Kevin Myers (Thomas Ian Nicholas), the nerdy leader of the group who wants to lose his virginity to his girlfriend Vicky (Tara Reid); Paul Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), a mochaccino-drinking sophisticate and nerd; and Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott), a raucous jock who often throws wild parties when his mother is away, and is also the only one of the five who has lost his virginity. At Kevin’s prompting, Oz, Finch, Jim, and Kevin make a pact to lose their virginities before their high school graduation after a dorky classmate, Chuck Sherman (Chris Owen), claims to have done so at a party hosted by Stifler.Vicky later accuses Kevin of being with her only for sex, so he must try to repair his relationship with her before the upcoming prom night, when the four plan to lose their virginity. He eventually succeeds. Oz, meanwhile, joins the school jazz choir in an attempt to find a girlfriend. From a college girl he tried to seduce, Oz learns about sensitivity and that it is about asking girls questions and listening to what they say. He soon wins the attention of Heather (Mena Suvari), a girl in the choir. However, he runs into problems when Heather learns about Oz’s reputation and breaks up with him, although he manages to regain her trust when he leaves the lacrosse championship to perform a duet with her in a choir competition.Jim, meanwhile, attempts to pursue Nadia (Shannon Elizabeth), an exchange student from Slovakia who asks Jim for help to study for an upcoming history test. After being told by Oz that third base feels like “warm apple pie”, he practices having sex with a pie, only to be caught by Noah (who lets him keep it a secret from his mother). Stifler persuades him to set up a webcam in his room so that they can all watch Nadia changing clothes. The plan suffers a hiccup, though, when Nadia discovers Jim’s pornography collection and sits half-naked on his bed to read and masturbates to it. Jim is persuaded to return to his room, where he joins Nadia, unaware that he accidentally sent the webcam link to everyone on the school list. Nadia is interested in him, but he suffers premature ejaculation twice and is unable to have sex with her. Nadia’s exchange family sees the video and sends her back home, now leaving Jim dateless for the upcoming prom and without hope of losing his virginity before high school is over.In sheer desperation, Jim asks band camp geek Michelle Flaherty (Alyson Hannigan) to the senior prom as she is apparently the only girl at his school who did not see what happened. Finch, meanwhile, pays Vicky’s friend, Jessica (Natasha Lyonne), $200 to spread rumors around the school of his sexual prowess, hoping that it will increase his chances of success. Unfortunately, he runs into trouble when Stifler, angry that a girl turned him down for the prom because she was waiting for Finch to ask her, puts a laxative into Finch’s mochaccino. Finch, being paranoid about the lack of cleanliness in the school restrooms, and unable to go home to use the toilet as he usually does, is tricked by Stifler into using the girls’ restroom. Afterwards, he emerges humiliated before a crowd of fellow students and is also left dateless.At the prom, things seem bleak for the four boys until Vicky asks the girl that Chuck Sherman claimed to have bedded about her “first time.” She proclaims to everyone at the prom that she and Sherman did not have sex at Stifler’s party, leaving Sherman embarrassed and making him wet himself. The revelation takes the pressure off of Jim, Kevin, Oz and Finch, and they head to the post-prom party at Stifler’s house with new hope. At the after-party, all four boys fulfill their pledges. Kevin and Vicky have sex in an upstairs bedroom. Vicky breaks up with Kevin afterwards on the grounds that they will drift apart when they go to college. Oz confesses the pact to Heather, and renounces it, saying that just by them being together makes him a winner. They reconcile and wind up having sex. Oz, honoring his newfound sensitivity, never confesses to what they did.Jim and Michelle have sex after he finds out that she is actually not as naïve as she let on and that she saw the “Nadia Incident” after all. She accepted his offer to be his date because of it, knowing he was a “sure thing” but makes him wear two condoms to combat his earlier “problem” with Nadia. Jim is surprised at Michelle’s aggressiveness in bed. In the morning he wakes up to find her gone and realizes that she had used him for a one-night stand, which Jim thinks is “cool”. Dateless, Finch strays downstairs to the basement recreation room where he meets Stifler’s mother (Jennifer Coolidge). She is aroused by his precociousness, and they have sex on the pool table. The next morning, while Stifler searches for his mom, he finds her on the pool table with Finch, and is so shocked that he faints. The morning after the prom, Jim, Kevin, Oz, and Finch eat breakfast at their favorite restaurant where they toast to the “next step”. From Slovakia, Nadia watches Jim stripping on his webcam: Noah walks in (to which Jim is completely oblivious) but happily walks out and also starts dancing.American Pie will never be ‘high brow entertainment’ yet it is enormous fun for anyone with an appreciation for silly (definitely low brow) humour.

 

31 DAYS OF HORROR REVIEW: SCARY MOVIE

CAST

Anna Faris (Mom)
Dave Sheridan (Ghost World)
Jon Abrahams (The Faculty)
Marlon Wayans (Fifty Shades of Black)
Regina Hall (Love & Basketball)
Shawn Wayans (Little Man)
Shannon Elizabeth (American Pie)
Lochlyn Munro (Freddy vs Jason)
Cheri Oteri (Liar Liar)
Kurt Fuller (Ghostbusters II)
Carmen Electra (Date Movie)
James Van Der Beek (Varsity Blues)
Peter Bryant (Dark Angel)

An 18-year-old girl named Drew Decker (Carmen Electra) receives a threatening phone call while home alone one night. Drew is chased outside by Ghostface, who stabs her in the breast, removing one of her silicone breast implants. She is hit by a vehicle driven by her father (Mark McConchie), who was distracted by fellatio from his wife (Karen Kruper), and is then subsequently murdered by Ghostface.Image result for scary movie (2000)
The next morning, Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris) meets up with her boyfriend Bobby Prinze (Jon Abrahams) and her friends, Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall), Ray Wilkins (Shawn Wayans), Greg Phillipe (Lochlyn Munro), and Buffy Gilmore (Shannon Elizabeth). Various news teams, including hack reporter Gail Hailstorm (Cheri Oteri), converge on the school in the wake of Drew’s murder. Gail hooks up with Buffy’s mentally disabled brother Doofy (Dave Sheridan) hoping to milk the facts out of him.Image result for scary movie (2000)
While Cindy is in class, she receives a note reading: “I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST HALLOWEEN!” She then realizes that Drew was murdered exactly one year after she and her friends accidentally killed a man (Lloyd Berry) during a wild car ride. Later that same day, Greg finds a photo of his genitals in his locker, with the caption, “I KNOW.” Later that night, Greg is killed by Ghostface in a deserted upper deck during Buffy’s beauty pageant, with the audience mistaking Buffy’s screams as being part of her act. When Buffy realizes she’s won the pageant, she momentarily forgets about Greg’s murder and celebrates her victory.Image result for scary movie (2000)The next morning, Buffy, still high on the success of her win, ignores Cindy’s warnings about the killer and does not realize she is being killed as it happens, even after she is decapitated (and the killer tosses her head in a Lost and Found bin, though her head keeps talking). Ray and Brenda go to a showing of Shakespeare In Love, where Ray is stabbed in the ear through a bathroom stall. Ghostface then goes after Brenda. Unfortunately, angry movie patrons, fed up with Brenda’s rude behavior during the movie, attack her her before Ghostface can, severely injuring her.Image result for scary movie (2000)
Meanwhile, Cindy throws a house party, hoping for safety in numbers. During the party, Bobby and Cindy go upstairs and have sex. Ghostface unexpectedly appears and stabs Bobby, before disappearing quickly. Cindy gets a gun from a drawer near the entrance, Bobby follows and she tends to his wounds. Brenda’s stoner brother Shorty (Marlon Wayans) comes up from the basement and informs them that the killer had chased many of the partygoers away after killing some. Bobby takes the gun and shoots Shorty, revealing that his wound was an elaborate ruse. Ray arrives on the scene, alive; he and Bobby announce their plan to Cindy to kill her and her father (Rick Ducommun) (despite the fact that they are not actually the killers).Image result for scary movie (2000)Ray and Bobby also plan to make themselves look like heroes by giving each other stab wounds to indicate they fought back, but the plan backfires when Ray stabs Bobby repeatedly and ultimately kills him, furious because his favorite show, The Wayans Bros., has been cancelled. Ghostface abruptly arrives and attacks Cindy during a fight of karate after stabbing Ray to death, but she successfully subdues him by employing moves copied from The Matrix (and by doing a brief Irish jig while levitating) and kicks him through a window. Nonetheless, Ghostface vanishes before the police arrive. At the police station, Cindy and the local sheriff (Kurt Fuller) realize that Doofy, the only one who knew about the car accident, was actually faking his disability and is the true killer. Unfortunately, Doofy has already escaped with Gail Hailstorm. Upon finding his discarded disguise in the street, Cindy begins screaming, but is soon hit by a car. In a post-credits scene, Shorty appears and breaks the fourth wall by giving tips on how to survive this sort of “situation”. They appear to be on how to survive in a horror movie, but turn out to be tips on how to successfully enact a snatch n run.Image result for scary movie (2000)
Being a fan of the Scream movies, I was keen to see Scary Movie when it was first released. I’m glad I did because it’s a very funny film, hilarious at times. How the actors managed to keep straight faces whilst filming is beyond me….worth watching.

 

REVIEW: THIRTEEN GHOSTS

CAST

Tony Shalhoub (Imposter)
Matthew Lillard (Scream)
Embeth Davidtz (Army of Darkness)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Alec Roberts (Traffic)
F. Murray Abraham (Scarface)

Ghost hunter Cyrus Kriticos (F. Murray Abraham) and his psychic assistant Dennis Rafkin (Matthew Lillard) lead a team on a mission to capture a spirit called the Juggernaut (John deSantis). Several men are killed, apparently including Cyrus. However, the team is able to catch the ghost. Cyrus’s nephew Arthur (Tony Shalhoub), a widower, is informed by Cyrus’s estate lawyer, Ben Moss (JR. Bourne), that he has inherited Cyrus’ mansion. Financially insecure, Arthur decides to move there with his two children, Kathy (Shannon Elizabeth) and Bobby (Alec Roberts) and their nanny Maggie (Rah Digga).

Posing as a power company inspector, Dennis meets the family and Moss as they tour the mansion. The residence is made entirely of glass sheets inscribed with Latin phrases, which Dennis recognizes as barrier spells. While searching the basement, Dennis is hit by psychic flashes and discovers the twelve angry ghosts he and Cyrus captured are imprisoned in the house, held captive by the spells. As Dennis warns Arthur, Moss slips downstairs and picks up a valise of cash, unwittingly triggering a mechanism that seals the house and releases the ghosts one by one. He dies when a set of sliding doors snaps shut, cutting him in half. Bobby slips away from Kathy and Maggie and enters the basement, where he sees several of the ghosts, including that of the Withered Lover – his mother Jean, who had died of injuries sustained in a house fire. He is knocked unconscious and dragged away.

Using a pair of spectral glasses that allow the wearer to see into the supernatural realm, Dennis convinces Maggie that the ghosts are real. Dennis discovers that the Jackal, one of the most dangerous of the twelve ghosts, has been released and that the family is now in grave danger. The Jackal attacks Kathy when she and Arthur enter the basement in search of Bobby, but they are saved by Kalina Oretzia (Embeth Davidtz), a spirit liberator who is attempting to free the ghosts. Kathy disappears soon afterward, and the four adults gather in the library, where Arthur learns that Jean’s spirit is trapped in the house. Kalina explains that the house is a machine, powered by the captive ghosts, that can allow its user to see the past, present, and future. The only way to shut it down, she says, is through the creation of a thirteenth ghost from a sacrifice of pure love. Arthur realizes that he must become that ghost by dying to save his children.

Armed with a pane of the special glass, Arthur and Dennis enter the basement to find the children. Dennis barricades Arthur into a corner behind the glass and allows two ghosts, the Hammer and the Juggernaut, to beat and kill him. Cyrus faked his death to lure Arthur to the house; Kalina is his secret partner. Cyrus has orchestrated the abduction of Kathy and Bobby so that Arthur will become the thirteenth ghost, which will not stop the machine as Kalina had claimed, but trigger its activation. Cyrus kills Kalina and summons the ghosts to activate the machine.

Arthur arrives at the main hall and witnesses all twelve ghosts orbiting a clockwork device of rotating metal rings, with his children at the center. Discovering Cyrus’ true fate, Arthur fights Cyrus while Maggie disrupts the machine’s controls. The ghosts hurl Cyrus into the rings, slicing him to pieces. With the encouragement of Dennis’ ghost, Arthur jumps into the machine, avoiding the rings and saving his children. The walls of the house shatter as the malfunctioning machine rips itself apart, freeing the ghosts. Dennis smiles at Arthur and departs, and Jean’s ghost appears before the family and tells them that she loves them before she and all the other ghosts disappear. As the family leaves the house, Maggie exclaims that she is quitting.This is a good movie from start to finish it has humor and scares in it all around good cast so check it out worth owning.

 

31 DAYS OF HORROR REVIEW: CURSED

CAST

Christina Ricci (The Lizzie Borden Chronicles)
Jesse Eisenberg (The Village)
Portia De Rossi (Mocking Bird Lane)
Mya (Chicago)
Shannon Elizabeth (American Pie)
Kristina Anapau (Black Swan)
Daniel Edward Mora (Harsh Times)
Milo Ventimiglia (Gotham)
Joshua Jackson (Cruel Intentions)
Derek Mears (Friday the 13th)
Judy Greer (The Last Shot)
Michael Rosenbaum (Smallville)
The film begins in Hollywood, Los Angeles, when two friends, Jenny Tate and Becky Morton, are at a pier and decide to get their fortune told by Zela, asking about a boy. Zela foretells that they will suffer a horrible fate, but they don’t believe her and walk away laughing. A little while later, Becky realizes Jenny has disappeared and can’t find her on the pier.
On that same night, teenager Jimmy Myers is picked up on (thematically appropriate) Mulholland Drive by his sister Ellie, who has just returned from visiting her boyfriend, Jake Taylor. Jimmy had a run-in with some bullies and his crush, Brooke. Driving home, Jimmy and Ellie collide with an animal and another car. They attempt to rescue the other driver, Becky Morton, but she is suddenly dragged and ripped in half by an unseen creature. Jimmy and Ellie are both slashed by the creature’s claws, but make it out alive. When interviewed by police, despite Jimmy’s belief that it was a wolf or dog-type animal, the official report credits it to a bear or cougar.
Once they get home, Jimmy does research about wolves in California and starts to believe that the creature was a werewolf, which, the next morning, he nonchalantly tells Ellie, much to her disbelief. Jimmy and Ellie start to exhibit strange tendencies. While working at the television station, Ellie is attracted to the smell of blood on a co-anchor, but Ellie denies it, apparently proving her point by touching a silver picture frame and not getting burned. Jimmy becomes much stronger and more aggressive, as shown when a bully named Bo coerces him to join the wrestling team. He easily defeats three wrestlers, including Bo, and calls Bo out for constantly making gay jokes towards him, saying that Bo himself is repressing his own homosexuality.
 
Meanwhile, at a party, Jenny runs into Jake amd Joanie, Scott Baio’s publicist, who pays attention to Jake. Jenny leaves the party after an awkward encounter, and Jake and Joanie leave as the full moon rises. Jenny is torn apart in a parking garage by a werewolf. Zela’s prediction for Jenny and Becky thus comes true. Ellie starts to believe the werewolf hypothesis when she sees Zela at the news station and she warns about the coming full moon. Jimmy proves it when he holds a silver cake server and gets burned (he then discovers that the picture frame Ellie touched was actually stainless steel). Their dog, Zipper, bites Jimmy, tasting his blood, becomes a lycanthropoid monster, and goes on a rampage. Realizing what’s happening, Jimmy goes to warn Ellie with the help of Bo, who shows up at their house to confess that he is gay and has feelings for Jimmy, which Jimmy attributes to the curse. Bo and Jimmy race to where Ellie is.
In the meantime, she figures out that Jake is a werewolf. He confirms it, but claims it wasn’t he who attacked her and Jimmy. Another werewolf attacks, seemingly proving his story. Bo and Jimmy try to help, but Bo is knocked out. The new werewolf is revealed to be Joanie, who had a one-night stand with Jake and became a werewolf (a pentagram on her right hand establishes this truth, in the lore of the world of Cursed). She wants revenge by killing all of the other girls he dates. He refuses to let Joanie hurt Ellie, so she knocks him out. Joanie soon turns into a werewolf and starts attacking. Ellie and Jimmy fight her, and she runs and hides when the police arrive. The two draw her out by insulting her, which she (in werewolf form) responds to by giving them the finger. The police open fire, apparently killing her. What they don’t know is that the only way to kill a werewolf is to separate the brain from the heart. As she rises again, a cop shoots her in the head, finally killing her. Bo is okay, but Jake has disappeared.
Jimmy and Ellie return to a wrecked home. As Jimmy goes to try to restore the power, Jake arrives. He reveals that he did in fact bite Ellie and Jimmy, and he wants Ellie to live forever by his side after he kills Jimmy. She refuses, and the two fight it out, but her werewolf side only emerges and disappears at small intervals, while he has complete control over his werewolf side and dominates the fight. Jimmy joins in, climbing across the ceiling and biting Jake, distracting him long enough for Ellie to stab him with the silver cake server, which badly injures him. Ellie decapitates Jake with a shovel and breaks the curse on her,Jimmy and their dog. They watch as Jake’s body bursts into flames, eventually leaving only the silver cake server. Brooke brings home their dog, Zipper, having learned where they live from Bo, who also shows up. Bo and Jimmy are now friends; Jimmy kisses Brooke and walks her home along with Bo. Ellie is stuck with the clean-up of the messy house.
 This is a fantastic film for any Wes Craven fans out there or just horror fans.