REVIEW: JAY & SILENT BOB’S SUPER GROOVY MOVIE

Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie (2013)

Starring

Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P.)
Kevin Smith (Chasing Amy)
Eliza Dushku (Tru Calling)
Tara Strong (Batman: The Killing Joke)
Ralph Garman (Ted)
Neil Gaiman (Lucifer)
Jon Lovitz (The Simpsons)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Clerks II)
Scott Mosier (Free Birds)
Bryan Johnson (Vulgar)
Walt Flanagan (Dogma)
Kevin Conroy (Batman: TAS)
Brian O’Halloran (Clerks)
Stan Lee (Mallrats)

Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie (2013)After winning $10,000,000 from a scratchcard they bought at the Quick Stop, Jay & Silent Bob decide to become superheroes Bluntman and Chronic (a parody of Batman and Robin). They build a secret Fortress of Solitude beneath RST Video and acquire all the necessary gadgets and accessories to make them ideal crime-fighters. They also hire their own butler, Albert (a parody of Alfred Pennyworth).Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie (2013)Throughout their crime-fighting ordeals, they manage to accidentally create a few super-powered enemies of their own, who together form “The League of Shitters”. The League of Shitters consists of Lipstick Lesbian, Dickhead, NewsGroup, Cocknocker, and the Diddler. While at a ceremony in which Bluntman and Chronic are to be awarded the key to the city of Red Bank, The League of Shitters attack the dynamic duo and knock them unconscious. They then attempt to infiltrate the “Bluntcave”, resulting in the deaths of NewsGroup and Diddler (they are crushed by a wall that reveals the entrance to the hideout). Lipstick Lesbian mortally stabs Albert in the back and places Bluntman and Chronic into a giant bong that is slowly filling up with water. After leaving the heroes to die, the villains descend upon Red Bank, killing everyone in their path. Albert uses the last of his strength to free the heroes before dying.Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie (2013)Vowing to avenge Albert, Bluntman and Chronic fly to Red Bank in the Blunt Jet to save the city from The League of Shitters’ mayhem. An epic fight ensues in which Bluntman subdues Dickhead by tricking him into entering a gay bar and Chronic kills Cocknocker with a broken beer bottle. Lipstick Lesbian draws a gun and attempts to shoot Bluntman and Chronic, but they are miraculously saved by a new heroine, Bluntgirl. Bluntgirl defeats Lipstick Lesbian single-handedly and begins to show romantic interest in Bluntman. Chronic is jealous and expresses his desire for anal sex. Bluntgirl agrees to this, however, she penetrates Chronic with a dildo, much to Chronic’s distaste. Bluntgirl asks Bluntman if he’s ever experienced anything of the like, to which he replies, “Yeah, when Ben Affleck played Daredevil.”. During the credits, it is noted that “Jay and Silent Bob will return in Clerks III.”Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie (2013)After the credits, Jay and Silent Bob are visited by Stan Lee, who wishes to speak to them about the “Avenger Initiative”. Shortly after, they are all picked up by Doc Brown, who requests their help in getting back to the future.Jay and Silent Bob's Super Groovy Cartoon Movie (2013)If you’re a Kevin Smith fan you’ll love this movie. It’s classic Smith and of course add’s pop culture references like he does in all his movies. If you watched the Clerks Animated TV Series, then you’ll enjoy this as well. It’s done the same way. Don’t expect it to be just like Clerks, or Chasing Amy and Dogma because it’s not. I don’t understand why people don’t enjoy it because its full of hilarious scenes that will have you in tears. I believe people were expecting it to be an animated version of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back sequel.I think the only thing that took me by surprise was that Kevin didn’t direct it him self.

REVIEW: TUSK

CAST

Michael Parks (Red State)
Justin Long (Jeepers Creepers)
Génesis Rodríguez (Hours)
Haley Joel Osment (A.I.)
Johnny Depp (Into The Woods)
Harley Morenstein (Holidays)
Ralph Garman (Ted)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Now You Know)
Harley Quinn Smith (Supergirl)
Lily-Rose Depp (The Dancer)
Zak Knutson (Clerks II)
Scott Mosier (Free Birds)
Best friends Wallace Bryton and Teddy Craft host the popular podcast The Not-See Party, where they find and mock humiliating viral videos. Wallace announces plans to fly to Canada to interview the “Kill Bill” Kid, an Internet celebrity famous for severing his leg with a samurai sword. In flashbacks spread throughout the film, it is revealed that Wallace was originally a failed stand-up comic who became popular with his increasingly vicious podcasts, and that he frequently cheats on his girlfriend, Ally.
Upon arriving in Manitoba, Wallace is surprised to learn that the Kill Bill Kid committed suicide. Upset that he flew to Canada for nothing, Wallace decides to stay an extra day and find another person to interview. He finds a handbill from someone offering a room in his home for free and the guarantee of hearing a lifetime of interesting stories. His interest piqued, Wallace arrives at the mansion of Howard Howe, a retired seaman in a wheelchair. Howard tells the story of how a walrus, whom he named Mr. Tusk, rescued him after a shipwreck. Wallace then passes out from the secobarbital laced in his tea that Howard made for him.
The next morning, Wallace wakes up to find himself strapped into a wheelchair and his left leg amputated. Howard tells him he was bitten by a brown recluse spider and a local doctor had to amputate it to save Wallace’s life. Howard not only reveals that he can still walk, but lays out his plans for Wallace: he plans to fit Wallace into a perfectly constructed walrus costume. Wallace’s attempts to contact Teddy and Ally fail when neither answer their phone. It is then revealed that Ally and Teddy are in fact lovers. Wallace leaves Ally a voicemail apologizing for how he treated her, and Howard knocks him unconscious.
Now aware that Wallace is in danger, Ally and Teddy fly to Canada to look for him. Back at the mansion, Howard continues to mutilate and alter Wallace, to whom he tells his backstory: a Duplessis orphan, he was sexually abused for years by the clergy who fostered him, and as a result is very misanthropic. He sews Wallace into a walrus costume made of human skin, complete with tusks made of the tibia bones from Wallace’s severed legs.
A local detective puts Ally and Teddy in touch with Guy LaPointe, a former Sûreté du Québec inspector who has been hunting Howard for years. LaPointe reveals that Howard, nicknamed “The First Wife”, has been kidnapping and murdering people for years; he says he believes Wallace may still be alive, but not as they remember him. They eventually find Howard’s address through two convenience store clerks, whom Wallace had annoyed earlier.
By now, Wallace’s psyche has been completely broken and has been conditioned to think and behave like a walrus. Howard reveals that his obsession with walruses comes from killing and eating Mr. Tusk six months after living on the island, although a rescue boat arrived soon after. For the past 15 years, he has attempted to turn his victims into his beloved savior in order to relive their last day and give Mr. Tusk another chance at survival. Dressed in his own homemade pelt, Howard engages in a fight with Wallace that ends with Wallace angrily impaling Howard’s chest with his tusks while Howard becomes satisfied with what Wallace has become. Ally and Teddy enter the enclave as Wallace bellows victoriously and viciously as a walrus does, much to their horror. LaPointe later enters the room and reluctantly aims a shotgun at Wallace.
One year later, Wallace, still sewn into the pelt, lives in a wildlife sanctuary. Ally and Teddy visit him and feed him a mackerel. Ally remembers a discussion she had with Wallace the day before he left for Canada about how crying separates humans from animals, because crying shows that you have a soul. Ally tells Wallace she still loves him before walking off crying. Tears run down Wallace’s face as he bellows, implying that the human part of Wallace may not be completely gone.Yes, it’s a weird film but it’s trying to be different and is a nice change of pace from most horror films these days. If you want a film that will make you genuinely say ‘WTF’ at the end, tusk is for you. I

REVIEW: JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK

CAST

Jason Mewes (Bottoms Up)
Kevin Smith (Daredevil)
Ben Affleck (Batman v Superman)
Jeff Anderson (Now You Know)
Brian O’Halloran (Vulgar)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Eliza Dushku (Tru Calling)
Ali Larter (Heroes)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Jersey Girl)
Will Ferrell (Elf)
Jason Lee (My Name Is earl)
Judd Nelson (Steel)
George Carlin (Dogma)
Carrie Fisher (Fanboys)
Seann William Scott (Welcome To The Jungle)
Jon Stewart (The Faculty)
Tracy Morgan (Cop Out)
Chris Rock (Madagascar)
Jamie Kennedy (Son of The Mask)
Wes Craven (Sceam)
Shannen Doherty (Mallrats)
Mark Hamill (The Flash)
Marc Blucas (Bufy: The Vampire Slayer)
Harley Quinn Smith (Yoga Hossers)
Diedrich Bader (American Hosuewife)
Scott Mosier (Clerks)
Ever Carradine (Runaways)
Bryan Johnson (Vulgar)
Renée Humphrey (Fun)
Joey Lauren Adams (Harvard man)
Dwight Ewell (Dogma)
Alanis Morissette (Top Wing)
James Van Der Beek (Dawnsons Creek)
Jason Biggs (American Pie)
Matt Damon (The Bourne Identity)
Scott William Winters (OZ)

Jay-and-Silent-Bob-Strike-Back-Main-ReviewAfter getting a restraining order from Randal Graves (Clerks) for selling drugs outside the Quick Stop, Jay and Silent Bob find out from Brodie Bruce (Mallrats) that Bluntman and Chronic, the comic book based on their likenesses, has been adapted into a film in production by Miramax Films. In response, the two see Holden McNeil (Chasing Amy), the co-writer of Bluntman and Chronic for the royalties of the film. However, Holden tells Jay and Silent Bob that he sold his part of the creative and publishing rights of the comic over to his former friend Banky Edwards. Upon learning of the film, as well as the negative reaction it has received so far on the Internet, the two set out on a quest to Hollywood, to prevent the film from being made and tainting their image, or at the very least receive the money from the royalties owed to them.
On the way, they befriend an animal liberation group, consisting of four women: Justice, Sissy, Missy, and Chrissy; and one man, Brent, who they had picked up for the cause. It is revealed that the organization is a front; Brent is a patsy, intended as a diversion by freeing an animal from a testing laboratory while the girls rob a diamond depository nearby. Jay tricks Brent and throws him out of the van in order to get closer to Justice, with whom he is smitten. Justice, who becomes close to Jay and Silent Bob (particularly the former), reluctantly accepts the two as the new patsies. While the girls are robbing the diamond depository they accidentally set off the alarm, prompting them to break the glass and steal the diamonds. While this is going on Jay and Silent Bob free the animals and take an orangutan named Suzanne with them. They escape outside to see the police arriving and the van exploding, which they believe has killed the girls.Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)Jay then takes the orangutan with him as a memorial to Justice. Quickly afterwards, Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (whose name is taken from the three characters in the TV show Land of the Lost: Marshal, Will and Holly) shows up at the scene. Blinded to the diamond heist, he claims to have jurisdiction because of the large number of animals that escaped. He learns that all the animals have been recovered except for the orangutan. The officers then find and watch footage of a video Sissy recorded of Jay making remarks about “the clit”, claiming to be “the Clit commander.” The literature accompanying the tape says that “Clit” is an acronym for Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-Dwellers. Willenholly blindly finds this as an act of terrorism and calls for police support to hunt down what he considered “the two most dangerous men on the planet.”
When the officers later have the trio cornered inside a diner and threaten to open fire, Jay and Silent Bob dress the orangutan as a child and walk out, claiming that they want to get their “son” out of the danger zone. Willenholly, thinking about the political repercussions of arresting a gay couple, decides to let them leave, but he quickly realizes his mistake and resumes the chase. When they jump into a sewer system, only Willenholly himself follows them while the other police officers, led by the Sheriff, leave him, and he is soon tricked into jumping off of a dam. Having escaped the law, Jay and Silent Bob once again return to their quest to reach Hollywood, only to have Suzanne taken by a Hollywood animal acting agency car. Now on a quest to get their ape back and to clear their names, the two once again embark to Hollywood.

On their arrival in Hollywood, the two find themselves in the background of an E! News newscast (ironically about their threat against Miramax on the Internet) that Justice is watching. While Justice takes the diamonds and goes to Hollywood to set things right, Marshal Willenholly learns of their mission to reach Hollywood and leaves to find them. After a long chase with studio security and reclaiming Suzanne from a fictional Scream 4 in production, Jay and Silent Bob end up in Jason Biggs and James Van Der Beek’s dressing room, where they quickly realize that these are the actors that will play the roles of Bluntman and Chronic. Suzanne beats both of them up effortlessly and Jay and Silent Bob assume the roles of their characters. Production staff throw them on stage with racist director Chaka Luther King, and they must engage in a duel with Mark Hamill playing a comic book supervillain called Cocknocker. jaysilentbob4png.pngEventually Willenholly arrives to capture Jay and Silent Bob, but Justice arrives to save them. Justice admits that the CLIT organization was not real and that the two were used as a diversion while she, Missy, Sissy and Chrissy, were stealing jewels. As the rest of jewel thieves arrive, a climactic final battle ensues, after which Jay and Silent Bob get their royalties to the film from Banky, and Justice turns herself and her former team in to Willenholly in exchange for a shorter sentence and letting Jay and Silent Bob go.  The film ends with Jay and Silent Bob spending their royalty to locate everyone who expressed negative opinions on the internet about the movie and characters, ranging from kids to clergy, and traveling to their towns to beat them up. The scene then cuts to everyone leaving a movie theater, having just watched the Bluntman and Chronic movie and expressing negative reception: Hooper X calls the film a “one 90-minute-long gay joke.” Jay and Silent Bob, with Justice and Willenholly, then go across the street to enjoy a performance from Morris Day and The Time. After the credits, God closes the View Askewniverse book.I love Jay and Silent Bob,Kevin Smith is an amazing director/writer and since arriving on the scene with Clerks the adventures on the king of stoners Jay and Bob have got better and better. This film is just laugh out loud gags from start to finish with so many massive stars putting in cameos including Chris Rock who is brilliant in his small role in the film It also features Will Ferrell as a wildlife marshall with half a brain. A must have for Kevin Smith fans and comedy fans alike

REVIEW: DOGMA

CAST

Matt Damon (Oceans Eleven)
Ben Affleck (Gone Girl)
George Carlin (Jersey Girl)
Brian O’Halloran (Clerks)
Linda Fiorentino (Men In Black)
Janeane Garofalo (Wet Hot American Summer)
Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Alan Rickman (Harry Potter)
Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P.)
Kevin Smith (Daredevil)
Jeff Anderson (Now You Know)
Chris Rock (Death at A Funeral)
Salma Hayek (Traffic)
Dwight Ewell (Chasing Amy)
Ethan Suplee (Fanboys)
Alanis Morissette (Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back)
Bryan Johnson (Vulgar)
Scott Mosier (Clerks)

Bartleby (Affleck) and Loki (Damon) are fallen angels, banished for eternity from Heaven to Wisconsin for insubordination after an inebriated Loki (with Bartleby’s encouragement) resigned as the Angel of Death. When the trendy Cardinal Glick (Carlin) announces that he is rededicating his cathedral in Red Bank, New Jersey in the image of the “Buddy Christ”, the angels see their salvation: Anyone entering the cathedral during the rededication festivities will receive a plenary indulgence; all punishment for sin will be remitted, permitting direct entry into Heaven.[5] They receive encouragement from an unexpected source: Azrael (Lee), a demon, once a Muse, also banished from Heaven (for refusing to take sides in the battle between God and Lucifer); and the Stygian Triplets (Barret Hackney, Jared Pfennigwerth, and Kitao Sakurai), three teenage hoodlums who serve Azrael in Hell.
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Bethany Sloane (Fiorentino)—a downhearted, infertile, divorced abortion clinic employee—attends a service at her church in Illinois. Donations are being solicited to help a hospitalized, comatose homeless man—known only as John Doe Jersey (Cort)—who was beaten senseless outside a skee ball arcade in New Jersey by the Triplets. Later that day, Metatron (Rickman)—the Voice of God—appears to Bethany in a pillar of fire and declares that she is the last relative of Jesus Christ. He explains that Bartleby and Loki cannot be allowed to succeed: By re-entering Heaven, they would be overruling the word of God, thereby disproving the fundamental concept of God’s omnipotence, and nullifying all of existence. She, together with two prophets who will appear to her, must stop the angels and save the universe.
Now a target, Bethany is attacked by the Triplets, and is rescued by the two foretold prophets—drug-dealing stoners named Jay and Silent Bob (Mewes and Smith). Azrael then summons a Golgothan (a vile creature made of human excrement) to find and kill Bethany, but Silent Bob immobilizes it with aerosol deodorant. Other allies in Bethany’s mission are Rufus (Rock), the thirteenth apostle (never mentioned in the Bible, he says, because he is black), and Serendipity (Hayek), the fickle Muse of creative Inspiration, now working in a strip club in search of inspiration of her own. On a train to New Jersey, a drunken Bethany reveals her mission to Bartleby, who tries to kill her; a melee ensues, and Silent Bob throws the angels off the train. Bartleby and Loki now realize the potential consequences of their scheme; and while Loki wants no part of destroying all existence, Bartleby remains angry at God for his expulsion—and for granting free will to humans while demanding servitude of angels—and to Loki’s horror, resolves to proceed.
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Bethany and her allies discuss the situation: Who is really behind the angels’ plan, and why has God not intervened? Metatron explains that God’s whereabouts are unknown; he disappeared while visiting New Jersey in human form to play skee ball. At the cathedral, the group attempts in vain to persuade Cardinal Glick to cancel the celebration; Jay angrily steals Glick’s golf club.
At a nearby bar, Azrael captures Bethany and her protectors and reveals that he is the mastermind behind the angels’ plan—he would rather not exist at all than spend eternity in Hell. Silent Bob kills Azrael with Glick’s blessed golf club. Serendipity tells Bethany to bless the bar sink, turning its contents to holy water, and Jay, Rufus and Serendipity drown the Triplets in it. Bartleby and Loki reach the cathedral; Bartleby kills all the celebrants, and when Loki attempts to stop him he tears off Loki’s wings, making him mortal. When the protectors block Bartleby’s entry into the church, Bartleby kills Loki and fights off Rufus, Serendipity and Bob, but as he flees, Jay shoots off his wings with a machine gun.
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During his latest of several attempts to seduce Bethany, Jay mentions John Doe Jersey. Realizing that the homeless man is the mortal form that God assumed, Bethany and Bob race to the hospital. Bethany disconnects John Doe’s life support, liberating God, but killing herself. As Bartleby again attempts to enter the cathedral, God manifests before him as a woman (Morissette), and kills him with the power of her voice. When Bob arrives with Bethany’s lifeless body, God resurrects her and conceives a child within her womb. God, Metatron, Rufus, and Serendipity return to Heaven, leaving Bethany and the two prophets to reflect on what has happened.
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Never really showing its age, this film can be an awesome introduction to Kevin Smith’s world. Highly recommended.

REVIEW: CHASING AMY

CAST
Ben Affleck (Argo)
Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Joey Lauren Adams (Harvard Man)
Dwight Ewell (Dogma)
Scott Mosier (Clerks)
Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)
Ethan Suplee (Fanboys)
Brian O’Halloran (Vulgar)
Matt Damon (Elysium)
Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P.)
Kevin Smith (Scream 3)
Illeana Douglas (Ugly Betty)
Joey Lauren Adams stars as Alyssa JonesHolden McNeil (Ben Affleck) and Banky Edwards (Jason Lee) are comic book artists and lifelong friends. Holden is the friendly, more mild-mannered half of the duo; Banky, meanwhile, is the loud and fiery half. Everything is going well for them until they meet fellow comic book artist Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams) at a comic book convention in New York where they are promoting their comic Bluntman and Chronic. Holden is attracted to Alyssa, but soon learns that she is attracted to women. The two begin hanging out, and a deep friendship develops. Eventually, Holden is no longer able to contain his feelings, and confesses his love to Alyssa. She is initially angry with him, but that night, the two begin a romantic relationship.
This new development worsens the tension between Holden and Banky, who hates and mistrusts Alyssa and is disturbed by her and Holden’s relationship. Banky investigates and uncovers dirt on Alyssa’s past, and he reports to Holden that Alyssa participated in a threesome with two guys during high school, which gave her the nickname “Finger Cuffs”. Holden is deeply upset by this revelation, having previously believed that he is the first man Alyssa had ever slept with. He angrily confronts Alyssa while attending a hockey game, and clumsily attempts baiting her into confessing. During a tearful argument, she tells Holden about her “many” youthful sexual experimentations. She apologizes for letting him believe that he was the only man she had been with. However, she refuses to apologize for her past, and Holden leaves feeling disillusioned and furious.

Later, during lunch with Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith), Silent Bob reveals that he was once in a relationship similar to Holden’s. Despite the fact that he was in love with his girlfriend, Amy, his neurosis about her adventurous sexual past caused him to sabotage the relationship and leave her. Angry at himself for letting her go, he has “spent every day since then chasing Amy, so to speak.” Moved by Silent Bob’s story, Holden devises a plan to fix both his relationship with Alyssa and his estranged friendship with Banky. He invites them both over and tells Alyssa that he would like to get over her past and remain her boyfriend. He also tells Banky that he realizes that Banky is in love with him—kissing him passionately to prove the point. Holden suggests a threesome. Though initially shocked, Banky agrees to participate, whereas Alyssa explains to Holden that it will not save their relationship. Before leaving, she states that she loves him, but she will not be his “whore.” Banky also leaves the apartment, instantly ending their friendship.Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams in Chasing Amy (1997)One year later, both Banky and Holden are busy promoting their own respective comics at a convention in New York. It is revealed that Holden has dissolved their partnership over Bluntman and Chronic, leaving the viewer with the assumption that he sold the publishing and creative rights over to Banky (which is corroborated in the beginning of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back). Banky smiles sadly at seeing his old friend, who silently congratulates him for his success on his own comic. Banky gestures over to a booth hosted by Alyssa, and provides wordless encouragement to Holden to go talk to her. He has a brief, quietly emotional conversation with Alyssa, and gives her a copy of Chasing Amy, his new comic based on their failed relationship. After Holden leaves, Alyssa’s new girlfriend (Virginia Smith) arrives and asks who she was talking to. A shaken, misty-eyed Alyssa feigns indifference and replies, “Oh, just some guy I knew.”

Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams in Chasing Amy (1997)Seldom do you see a movie that mixes humour and love in such a way that it both makes you wet yourself laughing and feel a strong connection with the plot.  The plot is pretty straight forward but the quality of the writing is the thing that sets it a part from the rest of the films of its ink. Affleck and Adams pull off terrific performances as the lovers, Affleck in particular performs one of the best roles he has ever done on  film. But Jason Lee steals the show once again (much like Jeff Anderson in Clerks) as the jealous best friend.

 

REVIEW: MALLRATS

CAST
Shannen Doherty (Heathers)
Jeremy London (Party of Five)
Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Claire Forlani (Antitrust)
Ben Affleck (Gone Girl)
Joey Lauren Adams (Harvard Man)
Renée Humphrey (Drawing Flies)
Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P.)
Ethan Suplee (Raising Hope)
Stan Lee (The Avengers)
Priscilla Barnes (The Devils Rejects)
Michael Rooker (Guardians of The Galaxy)
Brian O’Halloran (Vulgar)
Kevin Smith (Daredevil)
Sven-Ole Thorsen (Gladiator)
Bryan Johnson (Vulgar)
Scott Mosier (Clerks)
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The day prior to the events of Clerks, college student T.S. Quint (Jeremy London) is preparing for a trip to Universal Studios in Florida with Brandi Svenning (Claire Forlani), during which he plans to propose to her; however, Brandi tells him she cannot go because she has volunteered to fill in as a contestant on Truth or Date, her father’s dating game show. They argue over this and eventually break up. T.S. turns to his best friend Brodie Bruce (Jason Lee), who has also broken up with his girlfriend, Rene Mosier (Shannen Doherty), after having an argument, and Brodie suggests the two might find comfort at the local mall.
Brodie and T.S. discover Truth or Date is being filmed at the same mall, through their friend Willam (Ethan Suplee, who throughout the movie tries to see a sailboat in a Magic Eye poster), and ask local drug dealers Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith, respectively) to destroy the show’s stage, a task for which they devise elaborate but ultimately unsuccessful plans. These actions result in the two being pursued by mall security guard LaFours (Sven-Ole Thorsen), but they are able to escape him. Brodie finds out Rene began a relationship with his enemy Shannon Hamilton (Ben Affleck), a clothing store manager who hates Brodie because of his “lack of a shopping agenda.” Brodie confronts Rene to find out more about her relationship with Shannon, and the two have sex in an elevator. Brodie is later abducted and attacked by Shannon, who intends to have sex with Rene in a “very uncomfortable place”, a reference to anal sex. (As a running joke, this is interpreted as the “back of a Volkswagen”.) As a result of this incident, Jay and Silent Bob assault the mall’s Easter Bunny, under the incorrect assumption that he attacked Brodie.
Brandi’s father, Jared (Michael Rooker), who is aware of Brodie and T.S’s presence at the mall, has the two arrested on false charges of drug possession. Jay and Silent Bob are able to rescue Brodie and T.S. and are once again able to evade LaFours. Meanwhile, Brodie and T.S. seek refuge at a local flea market, where they meet fortune teller Ivannah (Priscilla Barnes). T.S. decides to win Brandi back and the two return to the mall.
Before the show begins, Brodie receives advice on romance from Stan Lee, who was visiting the mall. After this, Brodie requests that his friend Tricia Jones retrieve footage of her having sex with Shannon. Tricia herself was doing a project in which she had sex with a number of male adults, despite being only 15 years old, for a book about the sex drive of men. Meanwhile, T.S. also persuades Jay to get two of the game show contestants stoned, which allow him and Brodie to replace them on Truth or Date. The initial plan was all three contestants but the third one, Gil Hicks, showed up late, and Brodie and T.S. must go on with him.
During the show (which Brodie continuously heckles by telling bizarre stories), Brandi recognizes the voices of Brodie and T.S., and an on-air argument between the three ensues. Brodie tells Brandi that T.S. had spent all day trying to win her back. T.S. then proposes to Brandi, which she accepts. As the police arrive to arrest T.S. and Brodie after the show is over, Silent Bob plays a sex tape of Shannon and Tricia, resulting in his arrest for statutory rape. Brodie and Rene renew their relationship as a result.
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The conclusion reveals that T.S. marries Brandi, Tricia’s book is a bestseller, Shannon is imprisoned, Willam eventually does see the sailboat, and Brodie becomes the host of The Tonight Show (with Rene as his bandleader) after impressing the show’s producers with his stage banter. Jay and Silent Bob are also shown with a monkey named Suzanne, which promises to be “another story” (told in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back).
This film is excellent, and it’s easy to see why Kevin Smith and his Jay and Silent Bob characters are such cult figures. Very funny from start to finish.

REVIEW: CLERKS

CAST
Brian O’Halloran (Vulgar)
Jeff Anderson (Now You Know)
Marilyn Ghigliotti (Starship: Rising)
Lisa Spoonhauer (Bartender)
Jason Mewes (Bottoms Up)
Kevin Smith (Catch & Release)
Scott Mosier (Mallrats)
Dante Hicks, a 22-year-old retail clerk at the Quick Stop convenience store in Leonardo, New Jersey, is called into work on his day off by his boss to cover a few hours for another employee who is sick. Arriving at the store, he finds that the locks to the security shutters are jammed closed with chewing gum, so he hangs a sheet over them with a message written in shoe polish: “I ASSURE YOU; WE’RE OPEN.”
Dante’s day is spent in the purgatory of serving a succession of customers while repeating the fact that he is “not even supposed to be here today”. Stressed with the demands of his job, Dante passes time in wide-ranging conversations with his best friend, Randal Graves. Randal works in the next-door video store, RST Video, although he spends almost the entire day at the Quick Stop. They converse about many things to pass time, such as whether or not the contractors working on the second Death Star when it was destroyed at the end of Return of the Jedi were innocent victims. Other events of the day include the discovery that Dante’s high school girlfriend, Caitlin Bree, whom he has been having early morning phone conversations with, is engaged to be married. Dante’s current girlfriend, Veronica Loughran, also stops in to bring him homemade lasagne. The two talk about Dante’s stuck-in-a-rut lifestyle with no motivation to change before having an argument about her past sexual partners.
Learning that he is stuck working the store all day, as his boss went to Vermont, Dante convinces his friends to play hockey on the store roof, though the game is short; twelve minutes in, an enraged customer shoots their only ball off the roof and into a sewer. Reopening the store, Dante finds another of his ex-girlfriends has died and her memorial service is today. Randal talks him into closing the store again and going to the wake. The visit is catastrophic, with Randal and Dante running out to escape in their car. What happened in the wake is not shown, but a subsequent conversation between the two reveals that Randal accidentally knocked over the casket by leaning on it.
That night, Caitlin surprises Dante with a visit. After she assures Dante that the engagement announcement was premature and arranged by her mother, the two trade banter and Dante becomes torn between her and Veronica. He finally decides to take Caitlin on a date and goes home to change. He returns to discover that Caitlin had sex with a dead man in the unlit bathroom, having mistaken the man for Dante (the man had earlier entered the bathroom with a pornographic magazine and had suffered a fatal heart attack while masturbating). An ambulance takes a catatonic Caitlin away along with the man’s body.
Jay and Silent Bob, a pair of slackers who have spent all day loitering (and dealing marijuana) outside RST Video, enter the Quick Stop to shoplift. Dante turns down Jay’s offer to party with them. Aware of Dante’s problem, Silent Bob pauses before following Jay outside and offers the following wisdom: “You know, there’s a million fine-looking women in the world, dude. But they don’t all bring you lasagna at work. Most of ’em just cheat on you.” Dante then realizes that he loves Veronica. When she returns to the Quick Stop, however, Randal complicates things by revealing that Dante asked Caitlin out. Veronica angrily breaks up with Dante, telling him that Randal informed her of the planned date with Caitlin.
When Randal enters the Quick Stop after closing RST, Dante attacks him and the two fight. Afterwards, they lie on the floor exhausted. Dante claims that Randal does nothing for him but make his life miserable by getting him fined, offending his customers, and ruining his relationship. Randal explodes, saying that Dante deserves the blame: Dante, not Randal, closed the store to play hockey, closed it again to go to the wake, and closed it yet again to try to hook up with his ex-girlfriend, cheating on his current one in the process. He then says that Dante came to work of his own free will and overcompensates for having a monkey’s job. He claims Dante thinks he is more advanced than the customers and storms off with “if we’re so fucking advanced, what are we doing working here?” leaving Dante speechless on the floor.
They reconcile and Dante says he will try to talk to Veronica, visit Caitlin, and possibly get some direction in his life. The film ends with Randal walking out of the store, popping back in briefly to toss Dante’s sign at him stating, “You’re closed!”
Written and directed by 23-year-old Kevin Smith, the film was made on a shoestring budget in grainy black and white. A superb first film for Kevin Smith.