REVIEW: I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT

CAST

Sarah Jessica Parker (Sex and The City)
Pierce Brosnan (Die Another Day)
Kelsey Grammer (X-Men: The Last Stand)
Greg Kinnear (Mystery Men)
Christine Hendricks (Drive)
Seth Meyers (New Year’s Eve)
Olivia Munn (The Babymakers)
Jane Curtin (3rd Rock From The Sun)
Busy Philipps (The Smokers)
Sarah Shahi (Alias)
Jessica Szohr (Pawn)

Kate Reddy (Sex and the City’s Sarah Jessica Parker) devotes her days to her job with a Boston-based financial management firm. At night she goes home to her adoring, recently-downsized architect husband Richard (Kinnear) and their two young children. It’s a non-stop balancing act, the same one that Kate’s acerbic best friend and fellow working mother Allison (Mad Men’s Christina Hendricks) performs on a daily basis, and that Kate’s super-brainy, child-phobic young junior associate Momo (Olivia Munn) fully intends to avoid. When Kate gets handed a major new account that will require frequent trips to New York, Richard also wins the new job he’s been hoping for–and both will be spreading themselves even thinner. Complicating matters is Kate’s charming new business associate Jack Abelhammer (Pierce Brosnan), who begins to prove an unexpected source of temptation.This is just your run of the mill predictable chick flick comedy, and if you feel like wasting time on a lazy Sunday afternoon, then you can’t go wrong.

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REVIEW: ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH

CAST

Rob Corddry (Old School)
Brendan Fraser (The Mummy)
Sarah Jessica Parker (Ed Wood)
William Shatner (Free Enterprise)
Jessica Alba (Machete)
Craig Robinson (Pineapple Express)
George Lopez (The Smurfs 2)
Jane Lynch (Glee)
Sofia Vergara (Machete Kills)
Jonathan Morgan Heit (Valentine’s Day)
Ricky Gervais (Ghost Town)
Steve Zahn (Roadkill)
Chris Parnell (Archer)
Kaitlin Olson (Finding Dory)
Daran Norris (Veronica Mars)

The film opens with Scorch Supernova (Brendan Fraser), an alien on a mission to rescue captured babies from the Gnarlachs. He rescues them just in time before the Gnarlachs wake up. Scorch then returns to Planet Baab where he is known as a famous hero and a love interest for anchorwoman Gabby Babblebrook (Sofía Vergara) while at BASA his brother Gary (Rob Corddry) works. Gary’s son Kip (Jonathan Morgan Heit) is a big fan of his uncle Scorch. Soon, Gary receives a message from Lena Thackleman (Jessica Alba), the head of BASA, that Scorch will be sent to the “Dark Planet” (Earth) due to a SOS call. Scorch decides to go on the mission to the Dark Planet, but Gary strongly insists that he doesn’t go because he is not serious. Also, no alien has ever returned from the dark planet. After further arguing, Gary finally says that he won’t be helping Scorch and quits BASA before Scorch himself fires him. Gary then goes home to his wife Kira (Sarah Jessica Parker) and Kip only to find out that Scorch has already gone on the mission to the Dark Planet, while Kip is watching it on live TV in excitement.
Scorch arrives on Earth and lands in the desert and finds a 7-Eleven convenience store but mistakes an airdancer for a dying being. Scorch is then tranquilized and captured by General Shanker Saunderson (William Shatner), the malevolent general of the US Army, and is taken to “Area 51” where aliens from other planets are held. After finding that this has happened, Kip wants to go rescue Scorch but Gary discourages him and he himself doesn’t want to go. Kip is angry and goes to his room. Gary goes to Kip’s room to apologize and admit that he is sorry about Scorch. When Gary flips Kip’s blanket open, instead of seeing Kip, he sees his dog and that Kip’s window is open. Knowing that Kip is going to try and save Scorch, he rushes to BASA with Kira wearing his rocket boots. They arrive to find that Kip is about to take off in a ship.
Gary manages to cancel the launch sequence, but he re-activates the sequence so Gary himself can rescue Scorch. He soon arrives on the Dark Planet. As soon as he arrives his ship immediately activates a self-destruct sequence, but Gary manages to get out. He then arrives at the same store that Scorch arrived at earlier. Gary goes inside there, but is spotted by two owners inside named Hawk (Steve Zahn) and Hammer (Chris Parnell). Both Gary and the two men get freaked out by each other and try to hide from each other. After the owners realize that Gary is not a hostile alien, they offer him a Slurpee. Gary takes it but drinks it too fast and gets brain freeze. Afterwards, Shanker’s men break into the store and capture Gary, taking him to Area 51.

Gary is then taken to Shanker’s office where he is quickly removed after Shanker receives an incoming call. It is then revealed that Lena is an ally of Shanker’s as she has sent him a powerful source known as blubonium and is in love with him as he puts on an Elvis Presley-like wig when contacting her. Gary is placed in a cell hall with other alien geniuses named Doc (Craig Robinson), Io (Jane Lynch), and Thurman (George Lopez) who tell Gary that various human technology has been invented by them for Shanker to rip off and sell to all of Earth so he will release them from Area 51. With these technologies made by the aliens, Shanker had made deals with companies like Apple Inc., Facebook, Google, and Pixar to distribute the technologies to them. Gary reunites with his brother, but is again annoyed by his conceited behavior. After a food fight in the cafeteria, the aliens make their way to “the peace shield.” Meanwhile, Lena captures Kira, who stayed at BASA to try to contact Gary in concern for his safety. Lena then reveals her plan to give a lifetime supply of blubonium to Shanker.
After Shanker reveals the blubonium, Gary unintentionally provokes Scorch into stealing it after stating its dangerous power and when being chased, Scorch destroys the blubonium, causing Shanker to freeze him. He orders Gary to fix the blubonium and reveals that he’s going to destroy all of the alien planets with a laser ray using the blubonium. Shanker says that all aliens are hostile just because a grey alien spaceship (accidentally) killed his dad in 1947. Gary fixes the ray with help from his new friends, but Shanker goes back on his promise to release him and instead freezes him like his brother. The other aliens discover Shanker’s true intentions when he tries to destroy Baab with the laser ray and mutiny, knocking out Shanker’s henchmen. However, it is revealed that Gary did not put the machine together fully and it malfunctions, destroying itself before it can destroy Baab. With Gary and Scorch released from their icy prisons by the machine alongside the other frozen aliens, the brothers, Doc, Thurman, and Io escape Area 51 and eventually find Scorch’s ship in a trailer park. With help from Hawk and Hammer (who live together in the park), Gary and his friends get into the spaceship and take off after helping to narrow its location down with a tornado scare.
Meanwhile, back on Baab, Kip frees his mother, who stops and subdues Lena after the latter took off with the blubonium shipment (and in the midst of the battle, learns Shanker was using her). US Air Force jets chases Gary’s saucer, but Kip guides his father through and manages to destroy the jets by making the spaceship pull up suddenly over a waterfall while the jets ram into it. However, Shanker (wearing Scorch’s robotic suit that he wears on his adventures) uses a tractor beam to stop the ship, and freeze it in midair. Gary and Scorch jumps on and manages to get the suit off from Shanker which causes him to fall to his death. Suddenly, Scorch and Gary begin to plummet to their dooms but they and Shanker are rescued by the captured grey aliens (the ones who accidentally killed Shanker’s dad) who have their own plans to deal with Shanker.
Scorch, Gary, Doc, Thurman and Io return to Planet Baab where Gary is reunited with his family. Scorch is greeted as a hero, but gives the credit to his brother which the citizens of Baab celebrate. Scorch then embarks on his toughest mission yet: marrying Gabby Babblebrook. Hawk, Hammer, and the grey aliens are also present at the wedding as the airdancer is also patched up.The movie has a pretty good story line. Not a great movie, but not bad either. Good movie to see on a rainy weekend or day off of school.

REVIEW: MARS ATTACKS

CAST
Jack Nicholson (Batman)
Glenn CLose (Hoodwinked)
Annette Bening (American Beauty)
Pierce Brosnan (The World’s End)
Danny Devito (Batman Returns)
Martin Short (Frankenweenie)
Sarah Jessica Parker (Sex in The City)
Michael J. Fox (Back To The Future)
Rod Steiger (Doctor Zhivago)
Tom Jones (Pleasure Cove)
Lukas Haas (Inception)
Natalie Portman (Thor)
Jim Brown (Any Given SUnday)
Lisa Marie (Ed Wood)
Sylvia Sidney (Beetlejuice)
Paul Winfield (The Termiantor)
Pam Grier (Jackie Brown)
Jack BLack (Goosebumps)
Christina Applegate (Anchorman)
Willie Garson (Stargate – SG.1)
In Kentucky, a family watches a herd of cattle running past their home, on fire. A spaceship explodes before it returns to Mars, and hundreds of other Martian ships leave Mars and head towards Earth. President James Dale along with his aides addresses the United States concerning the historic event. People around the country follow the story. The President’s science aides set up a first contact meeting with the Martians in Pahrump, Nevada as President Dale watches the development on TV with his wife Marsha and his daughter Taffy.
Using a universal translator, the Ambassador of the Martians announces that they intend to colonize the Earth. To prevent this intention from causing panic, the translator is reprogrammed to say that the Martians “come in peace”. When a hippie releases a dove as a symbol of peace, the Ambassador shoots it, then he and the other Martians slaughter a large number of people at the event including General Casey, news reporter Jason Stone, and Billy-Glenn Norris before capturing chat show host Nathalie Lake and her pet Chihuahua Poppy whose heads they transpose.
Thinking that the Martians assumed that the dove was a symbol of war, President Dale tells Professor Donald Kessler to negotiations with the Martians, whose ambassador is invited to address the United States Congress. At this meeting, the Martians massacre most of Congress. Donald begs the Martian Ambassador to stop, but is rendered unconscious and taken aboard their ship where he is later shown with his body parts dismembered and his disembodied head remaining animated. General Decker tries to convince President Dale to retaliate with nuclear warfare, but he refuses.
The Martians invade Earth, starting with Washington, D.C. The White House is attacked by the aliens, and the Secret Service tries to rush the President and the First Lady to the bunker while Taffy is separated from them during the chaos. Byron’s sons who were on a tour get separated from their group during the rush to escape, grab the weapons of some Martians killed by the Secret Service, and start fighting back. Marsha is crushed to death by the Nancy Reagan chandelier; the President, however, escapes. After the U.S. government unsuccessfully attempts a nuclear attack on the mother ship, the Martians exact revenge by defacing world landmarks for amusement. As the Martians ravage Las Vegas, with Art Land being one of their victims, Byron Williams, a casino employee and former world champion boxer, leads a small group of survivors consisting of Barbara Land, Tom Jones, a waitress named Cindy, and a gambler to an airfield in the hopes of flying a small jet to safety. They barely make it, losing the gambler in the process, but they discover a large group of Martians stationed there. Byron creates a diversion by challenging them to a fistfight. While he succeeds in killing the Ambassador, he is outnumbered and overwhelmed, but Tom, Barbara, and Cindy escape.
Billy-Glenn’s brother Richie discovers that the Martians’ heads explode when they hear Slim Whitman’s “Indian Love Call.” He and his grandmother Florence drive around town, using the song to kill Martians. The military thereafter broadcast the song around the globe, killing most of the Martians and their leader and causing the few remaining survivors to either flee from Earth or surrender. Nathalie and Donald kiss while drowning when the Martian spaceship crashes into the ocean. In the aftermath, Richie and Florence are awarded the Medal of Honor by Taffy, with her being the only surviving member of the government. Byron, who survived his Martian brawl, arrives in D.C. to reunite with his former wife and their two sons as the Martians’ bodies are being cleaned up. Barbara, Cindy, and Tom Jones emerge from a cave with some animals to see a crashed Martian ship in the adjacent Lake Tahoe.
film that wouldn’t have worked under the auspices of a director other than Tim Burton, ‘Mars Attacks’ is a wonderful entertaining sci-fi movie that is still as much fun today as it was upon release.

31 DAYS OF HORROR REVIEW: ED WOOD

CAST

Johnny Depp (Into The Woods)
Martin Landau (North By Northwest)
Sarah Jessica Parker (Sex and The City)
Patricia Arquette (Stigmata)
Jeffrey Jones (Howard The Duck)
Vincent D’Onofrio (Daredevil)
Bill Murray (Ghostbusters)
Lisa Marie (Sleepy Hollow)
Juliet Landau (Buffy)
Maurice LaMarche (Futurama)

In 1952, Ed Wood (Johnny Depp) is struggling to join the film industry. Upon hearing of an announcement in Variety magazine that producer George Weiss (Mike Starr) is trying to purchase Christine Jorgensen’s life story, Ed is inspired to meet Weiss in person. Weiss explains that Variety‍ ’s announcement was a news leak, and it is impossible to purchase Jorgensen’s rights. The producer decides to “fictionalize” the film, titled I Changed My Sex!. Ed tries to convince Weiss that he is perfect to direct I Changed My Sex! because he is a transvestite, but is unsuccessful since Weiss wants a director with experience. One day, Ed meets his longtime idol Bela Lugosi (Martin Landau), after spotting him trying out a casket. Ed drives Bela home and the two become friends. Later, Wood persuades Weiss to let him direct I Changed My Sex! by convincing him that having a star in the film would sell tickets, and they could sign Bela for a low price.

Ed and Weiss argue over the film’s title and subject matter: Weiss has already had the poster printed, which Ed changes to Glen or Glenda and writes the film about a transvestite rather than a sex change. In the end, Weiss allows Ed to shoot whatever he wants as long as the film meets the required length. Ed takes to film production with an unusual approach; usually shooting only one take per scene, giving actors very little direction, and using stock footage to fill in gaps. After filming, the movie is released to critical and commercial failure. Because of this, Ed is unsuccessful in getting a job at Screen Classics, but Ed’s girlfriend, Dolores Fuller (Sarah Jessica Parker), tells him that he should try financing his next film independently. Ed is unsuccessful in finding money for Bride of the Atom, but is introduced to the psychic The Amazing Criswell (Jeffrey Jones) who gives him advice on how to sell himself better.
At a bar, Ed meets Loretta King (Juliet Landau), who he thinks has enough money to fund Bride of the Atom and ends up casting her as the lead instead of Dolores as originally planned. Dolores was extremely angry about it. Filming begins, but is halted when it is revealed that Loretta is actually poor, and therefore Ed has no money to continue production. Ed convinces meat packing industry tycoon Don McCoy (Rance Howard) to take over funding the film, who agrees as long as the film stars his son Tony as the leading man and the film ends with an explosion. The filming of Bride of the Atom finishes, with the title being changed to Bride of the Monster, but Dolores breaks up with Ed after the wrap party because of his circle of friends, his work, and transvestism. Also, Bela, who is revealed to be highly depressed and a morphine addict, attempts to conduct a double suicide with Ed after the government cuts off his unemployment, but is talked out of it. Bela checks himself into rehab, and Ed meets Kathy O’Hara (Patricia Arquette), who is visiting her father at the same hospital. Ed takes her on a date and reveals to her his transvestism, which she accepts.

Ed begins to shoot a film with Bela outside his home. When Ed and company attend the premiere for Bride of the Monster, an angry mob chases them out of the theater. Sometime later, Bela passes away, leaving Ed without a star. Ed convinces a church leader named Reynolds that funding Ed’s script for Grave Robbers from Outer Space would result in a box office success, and generate enough money for Reynolds’ dream project (the Twelve Apostles films). Dr. Tom Mason (Ned Bellamy), Kathy’s chiropractor, is chosen to be Bela’s stand-in for resembling Lugosi (with half his face covered). However, Ed and the Baptists begin having conflicts over the title and content of the script which they want to have changed to Plan 9 from Outer Space along with Ed’s B movie directing style, his casting decisions and his transvestism. This causes a distressed Ed to leave the set and immediately take a taxi to the nearest bar, where he encounters his idol Orson Welles (Vincent D’Onofrio). Welles tells Ed that “visions are worth fighting for”, and filming for Plan 9 finishes with Ed taking action against his producers. The film ends with the premiere of Plan 9 with Ed believing it will be the film he “will be remembered for”, and Ed and Kathy taking off to Las Vegas to get married.

This is an immensely entertaining film, both comic and endearing. It masterfully portrays Wood in a humorous light, while not being demeaning or insulting. The strong acting, writing, and directing make this unique movie a film worth seeing