31 DAYS OF HORROR REVIEW: POLTERGEIST (2015)

CAST

Sam Rockwell (Iron Man 2)
Rosemarie DeWitt (Rachel Getting Married)
Saxon Sharbino (I Spit On Your Grave)
Kyle Catlett (The Angry Birds Movie)
Kennedi Clements (Jingle All The Way 2)
Jared Harris (Allied)
Jane Adams (Last Holiday)
Nicholas Braun (Red State)
Susan Heyward (Powers)
Patrick Garrow (Robocop)

1Eric and Amy Bowen are a married couple looking to buy a house for themselves and their three children: 16-year-old daughter, Kendra, their 9-year-old son, Griffin, and 6-year-old daughter, Madison. Eric was recently laid off, but they are shown a house that has recently come on the market that fits their price range, so they purchase it and move in.2The first night, they hear strange noises in the walls, and Griffin finds a box of clown dolls that were left at the house. In the middle of the night, lights and electronic devices start turning on and off, as some unseen force appears to move through the home. The commotion wakes Griffin, and he goes downstairs and finds Maddie talking to an unknown presence inside the television. She tells Griffin someone is coming, and he attempts to unplug the TV, causing the lights to go out of control. Maddie then tells the family: “They’re here” while touching their TV screen that has the ghost’s hands pressing against the other side of the screen. The following evening, Eric and Amy go to dinner with their friends, leaving the three children at home. They learn that their house was built on an old cemetery, but the bodies were moved to a better neighbourhood.3At the house, Kendra’s phone begins emitting strange sounds and a glitching screen, and as she traces the noise and enters the garage, the floor cracks and a corpse’s hand emerges and begins pulling at her foot. Griffin notices the clown dolls seem to be moving by themselves. One clown doll attacks him, but he destroys it and escapes from his bedroom. He finds Maddie in her room, scared, crouching in a corner, and tells her to stay while he goes to find Kendra. Maddie is then lured into her closet and becomes lost in an unending void. As she sees her bedroom drifting away further, she is dragged into the darkness by ghosts. Griffin, while running around the house, is grabbed by the branches of the old tree outside their house, which pulls him out to be hanging on the tree. Amy and Eric arrive home to see Griffin being tossed around in the tree branches, which releases its grip when they come close, while Kendra tells them she can’t find Maddie.5The family hears Maddie’s voice emanating from the television. Amy reaches at the television’s screen while Maddie’s static hand is seen to be touching Amy’s hand on the other side of the screen. Amy and Griffin visit the Paranormal Research department for help. The staff sets up equipment in the house, and install GPS devices on everyone in the house. While trying to contact Maddie, Eric is ambushed in the closet by a ghost resembling her. Angered, he breaks down the closet wall, throwing a chair into the darkness inside the closet, and as the chair falls back into the living room of the house, it reveals a possible portal Maddie can escape through. The investigators realize that this haunting is a poltergeist. The lead investigator, Dr. Brooke Powell, decides to call occult specialist and television personality Carrigan Burke (revealed, much later, to be Powell’s ex).4Carrigan explains that Maddie is a possible psychic, able to communicate with spirits. He reveals that the ghosts are trapped and are angry because only the headstones were moved to the new cemetery, but the bodies remained, and plan on using Maddie “to free them from their purgatory”. Carrigan comes up with a plan to get Maddie back. He anchors a rope in Maddie’s room and tosses it into the vortex. They attempt to use Griffin’s toy drone to guide Maddie out, but it is immediately destroyed by the ghosts when inside the portal. Griffin, guilt-ridden over leaving Maddie alone in the first place, goes through the portal himself. When he finds Maddie, the ghosts attempt to destroy the rope to trap them, but Griffin and Maddie grab onto the rope and are brought back through the portal.The family get in their car and begin to take their leave from the house, but the ghosts drag them back into the house and attempt to abduct Maddie again. The family saves her from being sucked into the portal, and Carrigan decides that as the only other psychic, he must go into the vortex and lead the spirits into the light. The Bowens flee as the house is destroyed by the spirits soaring into the sky as a beacon of light. The investigative team run to their equipment, looking for a sign that Carrigan managed to get back. As the Bowens look for a new house, the realtor shows them a house with lots of closet space and an old tree in the backyard; the Bowens drive away laughing. During the end credits, it’s revealed that Carrigan survived the incident and is back filming his ghost program, now hosting the show with Dr. Powell.6Being a huge fan of the original, I was pleasantly surprised that this remake respects and echoes the original in the main, but adds twists and effects and tech that we use everyday to make it comfortably contemporary. .

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REVIEW: MATCHSTICK MEN

CAST

Nicolas Cage (Season of The Witch)
Sam Rockwell (Iron Man 2)
Alison Lohman (Drag Me to Hell)
Bruce Altman (It’s Complicated)
Bruce McGill (Out Cold)
Sheila Kelley (So I Married An Axe Murderer)
Beth Grant (Child’s Play 2)
Jenny O’Hara (Mystic River)
Steve Eastin (When A Stranger Calls)
Melora Walters (Ed Wood)
Fran Kranz (Dollhouse)

Roy Waller (Nicolas Cage) is a con artist residing in Los Angeles who has severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. Alongside his partner and protégé Frank Mercer (Sam Rockwell), Roy operates a fake lottery, selling overpriced water filtration systems to unsuspecting customers. After Roy experiences a violent panic attack, Frank suggests he see a psychiatrist, Dr. Harris Klein (Bruce Altman).
Klein provides Roy with medication, and in therapy has Roy recall his past relationship with his ex-wife, Heather (Melora Walters), who was pregnant during the time of the divorce. At Roy’s behest, Klein informs Roy that he called Heather and found out that Roy has a 14-year-old daughter, Angela (Alison Lohman). Roy and Angela meet, and her youthful energy rejuvenates him. Roy thus agrees to work with Frank on a long-term con: their target is Chuck Frechette (Bruce McGill), an arrogant businessman whom the duo decides to con with the Pigeon drop.
One night, Angela unexpectedly arrives at Roy’s house, saying that she has had a fight with her mother, and decides to stay for the weekend before returning to school. She explores his belongings and causes him to rethink his life, which he mentions during therapy with Klein. Angela returns home late one night, leading to an argument between the two. During dinner, Roy admits that he is a con artist and reluctantly agrees to teach Angela a con. The two of them go to a local laundromat and con an older woman into believing she has won the lottery, and she shares half of her expected winnings with Angela; however, Roy then forces Angela to return the money.
Roy goes bowling with Angela but is interrupted when Frank reveals that Chuck’s flight to the Caymans has been updated to that day instead of Friday as planned. With little time left, Roy reluctantly decides to let Angela play the part of distracting Chuck midway through the con; however, after the con is finished, Chuck realizes what has happened and chases the two into the parking lot before they escape. Roy then learns that Angela was arrested a year ago, and asks that she stop calling him.
Without Angela, Roy’s myriad phobias resurface, and during another panic attack, he ultimately learns that the medication given to him by Klein is a placebo, proving that he doesn’t actually need his pills to be happy. He decides that he needs Angela in his life but that he would have to change his lifestyle, much to Frank’s disappointment. Roy and Angela return from dinner one night to find Chuck waiting for them with a gun, alongside a badly beaten Frank. Angela shoots Chuck and Roy sends her off with Frank into hiding until the matter can be sorted out. As Roy prepares to take care of Chuck’s body, Chuck suddenly springs to life and knocks Roy unconscious.
Roy awakens in a hospital, where the police inform him that Chuck eventually died from the gunshot and Frank and Angela have disappeared. Klein appears and Roy gives him the password to his bank account, ordering him to give the money to Angela when she is found. Later, Roy awakens to find that the “police” have disappeared, his “hospital room” is actually a freight container on the roof of a parking garage, “Dr. Klein’s” office is vacant, and essentially all of his money has been taken. As he begins to realize that Frank pulled a con on him, Roy drives over to Heather’s (whom he hasn’t seen for years) looking for Angela. While speaking with Heather, Roy learns the truth: Heather miscarried their child. There is no “Angela”: the young girl he thought was his child was actually Frank’s accomplice.
One year later, Roy has become a salesman at a local carpet store, which Angela and her boyfriend one day wander into. Roy confronts Angela but ultimately forgives her, realizing that he is much happier as an honest man. Angela reveals that she did not receive her fair share of the cut from Frank, and that it was the only con she ever pulled. Angela and her boyfriend depart and Roy returns home to his new wife Kathy, who is now pregnant with his child.Nicolas Cage is at his best and on home ground playing the conman Roy who suffers from compulsive obsessive disorder in this crime story with a twist. The acting all round is superb, Sam Rockwell as Roy’s business partner Frank, and Alison Lohman as Cage’s 14 year old daughter. I won’t go into the story as that would ruin it, but if you like your films slick and clever with a original story then you can’t get much better than this. I can’t recommend it highly enough.

 

REVIEW: THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES BY THE COWARD ROBERT FORD

CAST

Brad Pitt (Killing Them Softly)
Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)
Sam Shepard (BLack Hawk Down)
Jeremy Renner (The Avengers)
Sam Rockwell (Iron Man 2)
Paul Schneider (Elizabethtown)
Garret Dillahunt (Winter’s Bone)
Mary-Louise Parker (Red)
Zooey Deschanel (Tin Man)
Alison Elliott (Birth)
Ted Levine (The Silence of The Lambs)
Michael Parks (Argo)

In 1881, young, starstruck Robert “Bob” Ford (Casey Affleck) seeks out Jesse James (Brad Pitt) when the James gang is planning a train robbery in Blue Cut, Missouri, making unsuccessful attempts to join the gang with the help of his older brother Charley (Sam Rockwell), already a member. The train turns out to be carrying only a fraction of the money originally thought, and Frank James (Sam Shepard) tells Charley Ford that this robbery would be the last the James brothers would commit. Jesse returns home to Kansas City, bringing the Fords, Dick Liddil (Paul Schneider) and his cousin, Wood Hite (Jeremy Renner). Jesse sends Charley, Wood and Dick away, but insists that Bob stay. He wanted the younger man just for his help in moving furniture to a new home in St. Joseph, Missouri. Bob becomes more admiring of James before being sent back to his sister’s farmhouse, where he rejoins his brother Charley, Hite, and Liddil.Liddil reveals to Bob that he is in collusion with another member of the James gang, Jim Cummins, to capture Jesse for a substantial bounty. Meanwhile, Jesse visits another gang member, Ed Miller (Garret Dillahunt), who gives away information on Cummins’ plot. Jesse kills Miller, then departs with Liddil to hunt down Cummins. Unable to locate him, Jesse viciously beats Albert Ford (Jesse Frechette), a young cousin of Bob and Charley. Liddil returns to the Boltons’ farmhouse, and argues with Hite, which ends with Bob Ford killing Hite. They dump his body in the woods to conceal the murder from Jesse.Jesse and Charley Ford travel to St. Joseph where Jesse learns of Hite’s disappearance, which Charley denies knowing anything about. Meanwhile, Bob goes to Kansas City Police Commissioner Henry Craig (Michael Parks), saying he knows Jesse James’ whereabouts. To prove his allegiance with the James gang, Bob urges Craig to arrest Dick Liddil. Following Liddil’s arrest and confession to participation in numerous gang robberies, Bob brokers a deal with the Governor of Missouri, Thomas T. Crittenden (James Carville). He is given ten days to capture or kill Jesse James, and promised a substantial bounty and full pardon for murder.Charley persuades Jesse to take Bob Ford into the gang; the brothers return to St. Joseph. Introduced as cousins to the Howards (the James’ pseudonym), they stay with the family, including Zee James (Mary-Louise Parker) and their two children. Jesse wants to revive his gang by robberies with the Fords, beginning with the Platte City bank. On the morning of April 3, 1882, Jesse and the Ford brothers prepare to depart for the robbery. Jesse reads in the newspaper about the arrest and confessions of Liddil. While the three men are in the living room, Jesse removes his gun belt and climbs a chair to clean a dusty picture. Bob shoots Jesse in the back of the head and flees with Charley. They send a telegram to the governor to announce Jesse’s death, for which they were to receive $10,000. However, they never receive more than $500 each.After the murder, the Fords become celebrities, touring with a theatre show in Manhattan in which they re-enact the assassination, but people soon dislike that Bob shot Jesse, unarmed, in the back. Guilt-stricken, Charley writes numerous letters to Zee James asking for her forgiveness, but does not send them. Suffering from terminal tuberculosis, he commits suicide in May 1884. Bob works around the West. On June 8, 1892, Bob is murdered by Edward O’Kelley (Michael Copeman), at his saloon in Creede, Colorado. O’Kelley is sentenced to life in prison, but Colorado Governor James Bradley Orman pardons him after ten years in 1902.Get ready for the assassination everyone knows is coming but no one can prepare for. Never has been a film that tells you the entire story in the title and can still surprise the viewer with beautiful cinematic moments.

REVIEW: GALAXY QUEST

CAST

Tim Allen (The Santa Clause)
Sigourney Weaver (Alien)
Alan Rickman (Alice Through The Looking Glass)
Tony Shalhoub (The Siege)
Sam Rockwell (Iron Man 2)
Daryl Mitchell (House Party)
Enrico Colantoni (Veronica Mars)
Robin Sachs (Buffy)
Jed Rees (News Movie)
Justin Long (New Girl)
Missi Pyle (Two and a Half Men)
Rainn Wilson (Super)
Dian Bachar (Orgazmo)
Gregg Binkley (My Name Is Earl)
Kevin McDonald (That 70s Show)

The former cast of the once-popular television space-adventure series Galaxy Quest spend most of their days attending fan conventions and promotional stunts. Though Jason Nesmith (Allen), who played the commander of the NSEA Protector, thrives with the attention, the other cast members—Alexander Dane (Rickman) as the ship’s alien science officer, Fred Kwan (Shalhoub) as the chief engineer, Gwen DeMarco (Weaver) as the computer officer, and Tommy Webber (Mitchell) as a precocious child pilot—all resent these events.

During one event, Nesmith is approached by Mathesar (Colantoni) and others calling themselves “Thermians” and request his assistance, which he agrees to, thinking this is a planned and paying fan event. Later at that same convention, Nesmith becomes despondent after overhearing attendees speaking of him as a laughing stock by fans and his fellow actors, and he loses his temper with an avid fan, Brandon (Long). After Nesmith spends the night drinking heavily, the Thermians arrive to pick up a hungover Nesmith in the limo he had requested. Unaware that they are truly octopoidal aliens, using technology to appear human, the barely conscious Nesmith is oblivious to his limo being beamed aboard the Thermian’s spaceship. Aboard their ship in deep space, Nesmith goes through the motions of commanding the ship and asks to be returned home. When they send him back to Earth via a transporter, Nesmith realizes that it is all real. He races to meet his cast, accidentally bumping into Brandon and misplacing a Thermian communicator Mathasar gave him with Brandon’s fan-made replica. Nesmith eagerly relates his experience to the crew, who think he is drunk again. When another Thermian appears and request the entire crew’s help, Nesmith manages to convince them, along with their handler Guy Fleegman (Rockwell), an actor who played a unnamed security officer on one episode before being killed off, to come along. They are all transported to a perfect reproduction of the NSEA Protector in deep space, and are shocked by the reality of the situation.

Mathesar begs the crew to command the Protector, as Nesmith’s previous actions (namely, blowing up the opposing ship) have enraged Sarris (Sachs), a reptilian humanoid that seeks to wipe out the Thermians. While they were able to recreate the ship from the broadcast episodes, the Thermians have no idea how to pilot it. The crew hesitantly take the controls, and despite their ineptitude, the Thermians cheer them on. After the second encounter with Sarris’ ship, they barely evade his attack by flying through a minefield, severely damaging the ship. The humans take a shuttle to a nearby planet to find a replacement beryllium sphere as a new power source. They manage to secure the sphere after a run-in with the hostile alien species on the planet. Once back aboard the Protector, they find that Sarris and his soldiers have captured the ship.

Sarris interrogates the humans, discovering they are only actors, and recognizes that the Thermians have no concept of fiction, believing the show to have been real. Sarris sets the Protector to self-destruct and departs, leaving a few sacrificial soldiers to guard the humans. Nesmith and Dane use a gambit from the show to engineer their escape, and then Nesmith orders his fellow cast members to help rescue the other Thermians, finish repairs to the Protector, and prepare to engage Sarris in combat. Nesmith and DeMarco then set off into the bowels of the ship to stop the self-destruct sequence, using help from Brandon and his group of friends via the swapped communication device. Along the way, they encounter Omega 13, a plot device introduced in the final episode but never used; Brandon notes it could either destroy all matter in the universe or rewind time by 13 seconds, “enough time to undo one mistake”.

Having finally accepted their roles on the ship and gained confidence in themselves, Nesmith and his crew use the minefield as a weapon against Sarris’ ship, destroying it. They prepare to head to Earth when Sarris, who has transported over at the last moment, starts killing the crew. A desperate Nesmith activates the Omega 13, which reverses time far enough for him to knock out Sarris. They near a wormhole to return the humans home via the command module, and Nesmith assures Mathesar he has the ability to command the Protector along with the other Thermians. The humans, along with Laliari (Pyle), a Thermian that has fallen in love with Kwan, return home. The command module crashes into Earth near a fan convention and comes to a stop after crashing through one wall, which the audience takes as part of the show. As the crew exits the module, Sarris wakes up and tries to fire on them, but Nesmith reacts faster, and disintegrates Sarris with a phaser-like weapon. The crowd erupts into cheers. Some time later, Galaxy Quest is revived as a new series, starring the same cast along with Fleegman and Laliari.Great film, so very well written. A homage/parody to Star Trek, it’s also very well acted by those within it. And very, very funny.

REVIEW: TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (1990)

CAST

Judith Hoag (Armageddon)
Elias Koteas (Fallen)
Raymond Serra (Bolero)
James Saito (Strangers with Candy)
Sam Rockwell (Iron Man 2)
Josh Pais (Phone Booth)
Corey Feldman (The Lost Boys)
Robbie Rist (The Brady Bunch)
Brian Tochi (Space Academy)
Kevin Clash (Sesame Street)
Toshishiro Obata (Demolition Man)
Michael McConnohie (Naruto)
Michael Turney (Cost of Living)
Jay Patterson (Ted 2)
Skeet Ulrich (Scream)
Scott Wolf (V)

Image result for TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (1990)As a crime wave rises in New York City, Channel 3 news reporter April O’Neil talks about rumors of young children and teenagers being reported as the majority of the thieves, connecting it to a rumored Foot Clan, which originated in Japan. On an ordinary night, she comes across thieves stealing from a news van and is attacked. She is rescued and one of her rescuers leaves behind a sai as police arrive to collect the tied up criminals. In the storm sewers, four anthropomorphic turtles return to their underground home and meet with their master Splinter, who advises them to remain hidden from the world and work only in the shadow. Raphael admits he lost his weapon, and when the others order pizza he leaves in disguise to see a movie. After leaving the movie, he encounters Casey Jones who tries to exact justice on a pair of muggers by beating them with sporting implements. After a brief stand off between the two, Casey takes off into the city and Raphael loses his temper. Returning home, Splinter confronts Raph about his temper.
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April is attacked in the subway by members of the Foot, after spouting rumors of them on television. She is knocked unconscious while trying to fend them off but is saved by Raphael, who takes her back to their home. After calming her down, Splinter explains their origins and introduces her to Raphael, Michaelangelo, Donatello and Leonardo. Unfortunately, Raph had been followed by a member of the Foot. After the turtles take April home, and spend some time over pizza, they return to find their home demolished and Splinter missing. With nowhere else to turn, they return to April’s apartment. The next morning, April’s supervisor Charles Pennington and his son Danny arrive; Charles chides April on her behavior with police chief Sterns and advises her to be careful, while Danny catches a glimpse of Michaelangelo, garnering his suspicions. Later, Charles confronts Danny for being arrested for stealing and Danny runs away into the subway. He escapes to a warehouse on Lairdman Island, the hideout for the teenaged thieves of the Foot. It is revealed that Splinter is there, held prisoner by The Shredder, who acts as a surrogate father to the outcast teenagers. Danny gives The Shredder his information on the Turtles.
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After a heated argument between Leo and Raph, Raph goes up to the roof of April’s building and is attacked by dozens of Foot Clan members. The fight moves into the building, where April and the others are attacked after Raph is thrown down a skylight window. The numbers cause the floor to give way, and they continue their battle in the basement. After Foot reinforcements arrive, overwhelming the turtles, Casey appears, having seen Raph earlier on the roof and he helps even the odds. In the melee, with Raph in a coma, the building catches fire, forcing the Turtles to escape. Retreating to an abandoned farm April’s family owns, April learns that Charles has fired her from the television station. Raph awakens from his coma and makes amends with Leo. The four of them train. After receiving visions from Splinter, Leonardo and the rest decide it is time to return to the city. Meanwhile, Danny encounters Splinter, whose kindness casts doubts on his decision to betray the Turtles. He goes to hide in the Turtles’ den, and is there when they return. In the night, Danny slips away, followed by Casey who discovers the thieves’ hideout. Danny meets with Splinter again, who tells him the story of his master who was killed by a man named Oroku Saki; who is The Shredder’s alter-ego. He inadvertently warns Shredder that the turtles have returned and they raid the Turtles home. They are ambushed however as the group is lying in wait for them.
Image result for TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (1990)Casey and Danny free Splinter, and after Casey defeats Shredder’s second in command Tatsu, they convince the teens to follow them and teach them the error of their ways. They return to the city as the Turtles face off against Shredder, who outmatches them. The Shredder taunts the Turtles, saying he killed Splinter, causing Leo to attack Shredder. Shredder disarms Leo, threatening to impale him with his spear unless the Turtles drop their weapons. The Turtles do so, but Shredder plans on killing Leonardo anyway. Before he can do so, he is distracted by Splinter, allowing Leo to escape. Splinter then faces Shredder, revealing his identity as the rat who belonged to Hamato Yoshi. Shredder charges Splinter in his rage and falls over the ledge of the roof. Splinter tries to spare him, but Shredder attacks, forcing the rat to let go, and he falls into a garbage truck. Casey turns on the trash compactor and crushes Shredder.
The police arrive and arrest the defeated Foot Ninjas. April is reinstated by Charles, with better perks, to cover the story. Danny reunites with his father who is overjoyed to see him, but Danny insists on being called “Dan” as a sign that he’s grown up. Casey and April meet, and she tells him to kiss her, which he obliges, much to the cheering from the Turtles (except for Mikey).Image result for TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (1990)This is a film that rather lovingly invites the viewer into the wacky and wonderful world of the Turtles, and provides some hyperbolic action sequences in the best ninja tradition, without ever taking itself very seriously.

REVIEW: DRUNKS

CAST

Faye Dunaway (Supergirl)
Calista Flockhart (Supergirl TV)
Richard Lewis (Leaving Las Vegas)
Sam Rockwell (Iron Man 2)
Amanda Plummer (Pulp Fiction)
Kevin Corrigan (Pineapple Express)
Parker Posey (Blade: Trinity)
Lisa Gay Hamilton (Jackie Brown)
Dianne Wiest (I Am Sam)

An inside peek at the goings-on of an unusually attractive Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. Richard Lewis’s character exists to provide a moral center for the film as it examines his desperate efforts to stay sober. The various members of the AA group provide different glimpses at what contributes to alcoholism and demonstrate that there is no one profile for what constitutes a drunk.

There are very nice performances in this film, particularly those of a pre-Ally McBeal Calista Flockhart and Parker Posey. The film’s scene stealer and the most memorable drunk of all, however, is monologuist Spalding Grey, doing a hilarious turn as a church choir member who shows up at the wrong church. In the midst of explaining his blunder to the group he rhapsodizes brilliantly on the importance of Guinness in his life and discovers quietly that gee, maybe he too has a drinking problem.

Overall the individual performances divert attention from the main storyline and provide more of a center for the film than Lewis, whose story is ultimately uninteresting. But check it out for a young Calista Flockhart.

REVIEW: THE HITCHHIKERS GUIDE TO THE GALAXY (2005)

CAST

Martin Freeman (The Hobbit)
Sam Rockwell (Iron Man 2)
Mos Def (Monster’s Ball)
Zooey Deschanel (New Girl)
Warwick Davis (Leprechaun)
Bill Nighy (Underworld)
Anna Chancellor (The Vice)
John Malkovich (Red)
Kelly Macdonald (Boardwalk Empire)
Jason Schwartzman (Bewitched)
Edgar Wright (Shaun of The Dead)
Stephen Fry (V For Vendetta)
Richard Griffiths (Harry Potter)
Thomas Lennon (17 Again)
Ian McNeice (Dune)
Helen Mirren (Red)
Alan Rickman (Dogma)

The film begins with a Broadway-style number “So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish”, sung by the dolphins of the world, who are aware of the Earth’s impending doom. At the end, they all jump out of the oceans and into space, leaving Earth for good.
One Thursday morning, Arthur Dent discovers that his house is to be immediately demolished to make way for a bypass. He tries delaying the bulldozers by lying down in front of them. Ford Prefect, a friend of Arthur’s, convinces him to go to the pub with him. Over a pint of beer (as “muscle relaxant”), Ford explains that he is an alien from a planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse, and a journalist working on the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, a universal guide book, and that the Earth is to be demolished later that day by a race called Vogons, to make way for a hyperspace bypass. Suddenly, a Vogon Constructor Fleet appears in the sky and destroys the planet. Ford saves himself and Arthur by hitching a ride on a Vogon ship. The two are found and forced to listen to poetry. They are then thrown out of an airlock, but are picked up by the starship Heart of Gold. They find Ford’s “semi-cousin” Zaphod Beeblebrox, the President of the Galaxy. He has stolen the ship along with Tricia “Trillian” McMillan, an Earth woman whom Arthur had met previously, and Marvin the Paranoid Android, a clinically depressed robot that constantly complains about life.
Zaphod explains that he is seeking the planet Magrathea, where he believes he can discover the Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything to match with the answer “42” given by the supercomputer Deep Thought. Zaphod stole the Heart of Gold to use its improbability drive to get to Magrathea through trial and error.
During one of these attempts, they end up on the planet Viltvodle VI. Zaphod decides to visit Humma Kavula, his opponent from the election. Upon learning of Zaphod’s plan, Kavula announces that he has the coordinates to Magrathea. He takes one of Zaphod’s two heads hostage and demands they bring him the Point-of-view gun created by Deep Thought, which allows the target to understand the shooter’s point of view. As they are leaving the planet, Trillian is captured by Vogons. The others travel to rescue her from the Vogon home world bureaucracy, facing long lines and frustrating form processing. Trillian is outraged to learn that Zaphod signed the authorisation for the destruction of Earth thinking it was a request for an autograph.
The Heart of Gold is chased by the Vogons, led by Galactic Vice-President Questular Rontok, who is attempting to rescue Zaphod from himself, after an incident in which Zaphod kidnapped himself in order to forgo presidential duties. As the Heart of Gold arrives in orbit above Magrathea, Arthur triggers the improbability drive to avoid the automated missile defence systems. The missiles transform into a bowl of petunias and a sperm whale.
On the planet, Zaphod, Ford, and Trillian take a portal to Deep Thought. When they ask the computer whether it has calculated the ultimate question, it reveals that it designed another supercomputer to do so—Earth. When the trio finds the Point-of-View gun, Trillian shoots Zaphod, making him understand how she feels about the destruction of Earth. She also finds out how much she loves Arthur. Arthur and Marvin miss the portal and encounter a Magrathean called Slartibartfast, who takes Arthur on a tour of the construction floor where Earth Mark II is being built. Slartibartfast takes Arthur home, where the others are enjoying a feast provided by pan-dimensional beings who resemble a pair of mice. Arthur realises he has fallen into a trap. The mice, who constructed Deep Thought, used the supercomputer to build an even larger supercomputer, the planet Earth, to determine the Ultimate Question. Believing Arthur, the last remaining supercomputer component, may hold the Ultimate Question, the mice attempt to remove his brain. Arthur kills the mice.
As the crew regroup outside the house they are surrounded by Vogons and take shelter in a caravan as the Vogons open fire. Marvin is left outside and shot in the back of the head, and uses the Point-of-View gun on the Vogons, causing them to become depressed and unable to fight. As the Vogons are taken away and Questular rejoins with Zaphod, Arthur chooses to explore the galaxy with Trillian and lets Slartibartfast finalise the new Earth without him. The Heart of Gold crew decide to visit the Restaurant at the End of the Universe while Marvin points out they are going the wrong way.
 This film is fantastic – but one must have a warped sense of humour to appreciate it. I’ve lost count how many times I’ve watched it & I still laugh out loud. (I was almost crying with laughter in the cinema). The casting is great – I love Marvin voiced by the wonderful Alan Rickman. And the Vogons are great – just how I imagined them. Stephen Fry as the narrator is an inspiration.