REVIEW: TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES III

 

CAST

Paige Turco (The Stepfather)
Elias Koteas (Fallen)
Stuart Wilson (Hot Fuzz)
John Aylward (ER)
Sab Shimono (The Simpsons)
Vivian Wu (Highlander: The Series)
Eidan Hanzei (Gamer)
Corey Feldman (The Lost Boys)
Robbie Rist (The Brady Bunch)
Brian Tochi (Space Academy)
Tim Kelleher (Inception)

Image result for teenage mutant ninja turtles IIIIn feudal Japan 1603 (Late Sengoku period) a young man is being chased by four samurai on horseback. As they go into the woods, a mysterious woman emerges from the underbrush and watches closely. However, the samurai eventually capture and take the youth, revealed to be a prince named Kenshin, with them. In the present, April O’Neil has been shopping at the flea market in preparation for her upcoming vacation. She brings her friends gifts to cheer them up. Michelangelo is given an old lamp (the lampshade of which he wears as an impression of “Elvis Presley in Blue Hawaii”), Donatello is given a broken radio to fix, Leonardo is given a book on swords and Raphael is to receive a fedora, but having stormed off earlier, he is never formally given it. For Splinter, she brings an ancient Japanese scepter. Back in the past, Kenshin is being scolded at by his father, Lord Norinaga, for disgracing their family name, but Kenshin argues that his father’s desire for war is the true disgrace. Their argument is interrupted by Walker, an English trader who has come to supply Norinaga with added manpower and firearms, and Kenshin leaves his father’s presence to brood alone in a temple. There, he finds the same scepter and reads the inscription: “Open Wide the Gates of Time”.
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In the present, April is looking at the scepter and it begins to light up. She is then sent back in time, while Kensin takes her place; each wears what the other did. Upon arrival, April is accused of being a witch, but Walker deduces she has no power and has April put in prison to suffer. Back in the present, Kenshin is highly distressed upon seeing the turtles and calls them “kappa”. After learning from Kenshin of the situation, the turtles decide to go back in time to get April. However, according to Donatello’s calculations; they have to do it within 60 hours, otherwise the scepter’s power will disappear due to the space-time continuum being out of sync. They bring in Casey Jones to watch over the lair and use the scepter to warp through time. When doing so, the turtles are replaced by four of Norinaga’s Honor Guards and are confused at their new surroundings.
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Back in time, the turtles awake on horseback and make a poor show of riding their steeds. During the confusion, Mikey (who is carrying the scepter) ends up riding off alone into the forest and gets ambushed by an unknown assailant. The others go to search for April at Norinaga’s palace, where their identity as Honor Guards allows them cover in their search. After following one of Walker’s thugs into the prison, the turtles rescue April and also free another prisoner named Whit (locked up for trying to start a mutiny against Walker, and who bears a striking resemblance to Casey), but their sloppy escape ends up leaving them all alone in the wilderness and without a clue where to go. Meanwhile, in the present, Kenshin is getting impatient and anticipates a fight from Casey. Casey instead introduces him and the Honor Guards to television hockey, which manages to calm them down for the time being.
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Out in the woods, the turtles, April, and Whit are again attacked, this time by villagers mistaking them for Norinaga’s forces. The attack stops when Mitsu, leader of the rebellion against Lord Norinaga, unmasks Raphael and sees that he looks just like one of her prisoners. The turtles realize that she is talking about Mikey and accompany Mitsu to her village. When they arrive, the village is being burned down by Walker’s men. As the turtles help the villagers save it, Mikey is let out by a pair of clueless soldiers and joins in the fight. Walker is forced to retreat, but the fire continues to burn and has trapped a young boy named Yoshi inside a house. Michelangelo saves Yoshi from the fire, then Leonardo helps him recover by performing CPR.
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As Walker continues bargaining with Lord Norinaga over buying guns in exchange for gold, the turtles spend some time in the village. Donatello decides to have a replica scepter made so they can get back home, while Michaelangelo teaches some of the people about pizza and later tries to console Mitsu about Kenshin, whom she is in love with. Raphael also gets in touch with his sensitive side through the child Yoshi, ironically being the one who teaches Yoshi on how to control his temper. Back in the present, the Honor Guards from the past are quickly adjusting to life in the 20th Century, and Casey decides to challenge them to a hockey game. To Casey’s dismay, the Honor Guards think hockey is about beating up each other. Meanwhile, Kenshin and Splinter show fear that the ninja turtles will not return home in time before their sixty hours are up.
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In the past, the replica scepter is completed, but an argument between Michelangelo and Raphael ends up breaking it. To make matters worse, Mitsu informs them that Lord Norinaga has agreed to purchase Walker’s guns and will attack the village in the morning. When Raphael sneaks off to visit Yoshi, however, he is surprised to find the original scepter in the child’s possession. The turtles are overjoyed to see it but are angry at Mitsu for hiding it and essentially forcing them to fight her war, however, Mitsu’s grandfather clarifies that it was his idea to have the turtles fight in her place.
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Suddenly, Whit betrays everybody and captures Mitsu, and the turtles return to Norinaga’s palace to save her. After rescuing her, they are cornered by Norinaga and are made to fight waves of his soldiers. The turtles respond by freeing the prisoners in the palace, starting an all-out war on the palace grounds. After a while of fighting, Leo defeats Lord Norinaga in a heated sword duel, comedically finishing him by cutting his hair and then trapping him inside of a bell. Deciding to cut his losses, Walker takes the scepter and tries to escape to his boat. When cornered by the turtles at the dock, Walker throws the scepter into the air as a distraction. The turtles catch the scepter, while Whit launches a catapult at Walker and knocks him off the dock to his death.
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The turtles are now ready to return to their own time, but Mikey says he’d rather stay (in particular because he wanted to be with Mitsu). Raphael decides he wants to stay as well because he feels like the Turtles are appreciated in Japan unlike back home. The other turtles and April try to convince them otherwise until Kenshin activates the scepter and makes the decision harder. After a long debate (which included Mitsu telling Mikey to keep his promise about Kenshin returning to the past), Michelangelo reluctantly agrees to go home with his brothers, but just barely misses grabbing the scepter in time. The Honor Guards switch back with the Turtles (all except for Michelangelo). Fortunately, the last remaining Honor Guard activates the scepter and swaps places with Mikey just before the scepter burns out. In the past, Norinaga admits surrender to Mitsu and Kenshin, and the two lovers share a tender reunion. Michaelangelo, meanwhile, is depressed over the thought of growing up, but Splinter cheers him up by performing the “lampshade Elvis” impression, and the rest of the turtles join in with a final dance number.Image result for teenage mutant ninja turtles IIIThe Third film is hated among fans, however I personally love it, the time travel element was well made, the Japanese setting was beautiful. Each turtle character had something to do throughout the film plus its always good to see the return of Casey Jones from the first film.

REVIEW: TWO AND A HALF MEN – SEASON 4

Starring

Charlie Sheen (Hot Shots)
Jon Cryer (Supergirl)
Angus T. Jones (Bringing Down The House)
Marin Hinkle (Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle)
Conchata Ferrell (Krampus)
April Bowlby (Doom Patrol)
Holland Taylor (D.E.B.S.)

TWO AND A HALF MEN

Recurring / Notable Guest Cast

Melanie Lynskey (Heavenly Creatures)
Sandra McCoy (Power Rangers Wild Force)
Steven Tyler (Be Cool)
Brian Patrick Wade (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)
Ryan Stiles (Hot Shots)
Katherine LaNasa (The Campaign)
Sara Rue (American Housewife)
Julianne Grossman (Star Trek: Discovery)
Jane Lynch (Glee)
J.D. Walsh (The Amazing Spider-Man 2)
Rachel Cannon (Fresh of The Boat)
Danielle Bisutti (Cult of Chucky)
Susan Sullivan (Castle)
Jessica Collins (Tru Calling)
Sab Shimono (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III)
Brooke Shields (The Blue Lagoon)
Allison Janney (Mom)
Rebecca McFarland (Scream 2)
Brooke D’Orsay (Royal Pains)
Morgan Fairchild (The Seduction)
Kris Iyer (Buffy: TVS)
Lamont Thompson (Evan Almighty)
Lee Garlington (Cobra)
Judy Greer (Jurassic World)
Tammy Lauren (Wishmaster)
Kay Panabaker (Fame)
Joel Murray (Mad Men)
Andrea Savage (Izombie)
Enrique Iglesias (Once Upon A Time In Mexico)
Robert Wagner (Austin Powers)

TWO AND A HALF MENAt the end of season three, Charlie and Alan were headed away from bachelor life. Charlie and girlfriend Mia were getting close to tying the knot. However, when it became clear that Charlie would have to give up Alan and Jake for marriage, he picked family. Despite the fact Alan married his young, ditzy girlfriend Kandi, won five hundred thousand dollars, and bought a condo. Four months later, season four begins and life quickly gets back to normal. Kandi kicks Alan out and files for divorce. He is broke and goes back to Charlie. Since losing Mia, Charlie spent his time partying, boozing, and chasing women. Now, Charlie, Alan, and Jake get reacquainted and there are some solid laughs.MV5BOTY3ODQ2MDUxNV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNjE3Nzg3MjE@._V1_After the guys settle back into bachelor life, there are a couple major season developments. The first development is Alan’s divorce. The early season episodes deal with his financial situation getting worse and worse. Alan loses his condo, his dog, his pride, and pays two alimonies after Judith gives Kandi her divorce lawyer. The flipside to this story is Judith and Herb’s relationship. They get engaged and Alan and Charlie do everything they can to get them hitched. Alan’s romantic life is also a big development. Some of his love interests include Berta’s daughter Naomi and guest stars Brooke Shields and Allison Janney.MV5BMTY5NTA5MzMyMV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMzExNDc3MjE@._V1_Life for Charlie is busy as usual. He spends most of his time chasing after women, drinking, and working very little. “Apologies For the Frivolity” is a fantastic episode. Charlie dates a woman who has uncanny similarities to Evelyn. Everyone sees it but Charlie. In the episodes “Smooth As A Ken Doll” and “Aunt Myra Doesn’t Pee A Lot”, Charlie and Herb’s sister Myra hit it off. As the relationship gets intimate, Alan fears how it will affect Judith and Herb. Charlie worries because he thinks he has true feelings for Myra. Everyone is in for a surprise in this highly comical, yet ironic storyline. “Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous” is another solid episode, where Charlie’s sexuality comes into question, as does Alan’s. Charlie has many other fun interludes, but these ones are among the best.MV5BMTg2NzQxNzUzMl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwMDMyNDg3MjE@._V1_As for Evelyn, there are a couple great episodes involving her and her overzealous sons. In “The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress”, Charlie goes surfing with a beautiful beach babe. The catch is that he does not know how to surf. He gets in an accident, which leaves him with a slight concussion. Just as Charlie’s life flashed before his eyes, he saw his father, who told him to take care of mother. Charlie teams with Alan to treat their mother better. “I Merely Slept With a Commie” is another fun episode with Evelyn. She makes Charlie and Alan jealous by getting a new family. Overall, season four continues the enjoyable and hilarious comedy found in past seasons.

REVIEW: SOUTHLAND TALES

CAST

Dwayne Johnson (G.I. Joe: Retaliation)
Seann William Scott (American Pie)
Sarah Michelle Gellar (Ringer)
Mandy Moore (Saved)
Justin Timberlake (The Social Network)
Miranda Richardson (Sleepy Hollow)
Wallace Shawn (The Princess Bride)
Bai Ling (The Breed)
Nora Dunn (Bones)
John Larroquette (Chuck)
Kevin Smith (Dogma)
Holmes Osborne (Donnie Darko)
Cheri Oteri (Scary Movie)
Jon Lovitz (The Simpsons)
Amy Poehler (Mr. Woodcock)
Curtis Armstrong (New Girl)
Beth Grant (Child’s Play 2)
Christopher Lambert (Highlander)
Will Sasso (Happy Gilmore)
Janeane Garofalo (Wet Hot American Summer)
Miranda Richardson (Good Omens)
Zelda Rubinstein (Poltergeist)
Sab Shimono (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III)

On July 4th, 2005, in a fictionalized United States alternate history reality, two towns in Texas: El Paso and Abilene were destroyed by twin nuclear attacks that triggered a catastrophe of unimaginable proportions, sending America into a state of anarchy and hysteria, as well as a Third World War (a fictionalized perspective of what the War on Terror would’ve escalated to). The PATRIOT Act has extended authority to a new agency known as US-IDent, which keeps constant surveillance on citizens—even to the extent of censoring the Internet and requiring fingerprints to access computers and bank accounts. In response to the recent fuel shortage in the wake of global warfare, the German company Treer designs a generator of inexhaustible energy, which is propelled by the perpetual motion of ocean currents, called “Fluid Karma”. However, its inventor Baron von Westphalen and his associates are hiding the fact that the generators alter the ocean’s currents and cause the Earth to slow its rotation, and that the transmission of Fluid Karma to portable receivers (via quantum entanglement) is ripping holes in the fabric of space and time.
In near-future 2008, Los Angeles (referred to as “The Southlands” by locals) is a city on the brink of chaos overshadowed by the growth of the underground neo-Marxist organization. The film follows the criss-crossed destinies of Boxer Santaros (Dwayne Johnson), an action film actor stricken with amnesia; Krysta Now (Sarah Michelle Gellar), a psychic ex-porn star in the midst of creating a reality TV show; and twin brothers Roland and Ronald Taverner (both Seann William Scott), whose destinies become intertwined with that of all mankind. The Taverner twins are revealed to be the same person by the engineers of Treer, duplicated when Roland traveled through a rift in space-time, while Boxer has become the most wanted man in the world despite his political ties and his having the fate of the future, in the form of a prophetic screenplay foretelling the end of the world, in his hands.

Southland Tales is not for everybody and while some may find it pretentious, I personally found it extremely engaging and thought provoking and in my opinion is a misunderstood masterpiece