REVIEW: ALIEN APOCALYPSE

CAST

Bruce Campbell (Ash vs Evil Dead)
Renee O’Connor (Xena: Warrior Princess)
Remington Franklin (Supercross)
Michael Cory Davis (The Call)
Peter Jason (They Live)
Neda Sokolovska (Man With The Screaming Brain)

imageAstronaut and Osteopath, Dr. Ivan Hood (Bruce Campbell) and his companion Kelly (Renee O’Connor) return to Earth after a 40-year space mission with two other astronauts. They are soon captured by other humans and one of their team is killed after sustaining a sprain; Dr. Hood pointed out that it would have healed in a few days. They are taken to a work camp, to their surprise, is run by locust-like aliens. These aliens had arrived 20 years ago to feast on the trees and used E.M.P. bombs to cripple earth before their invasion. The other member of their team is eaten alive by one of the aliens after refusing to work. The camp is supervised by human bounty hunters; they are treated better. After seeing how illiterate and savage humans have become due to the aliens, Dr. Hood and Kelly plan to make an escape the next day after hearing rumors that the President has survived and has an army waiting to strike back.59929_7b3b8a815aefThe escape plan goes off without a hitch, but Kelly is recaptured by one of the guards. Dr. Hood travels to find the president and meets other humans who believe the President has survived. Dr. Hood and his convoy reach a secret headquarters to discover remnants of the American government and the President, who is now a shell of his former self. Extremely ticked off, Dr. Hood decides to rally the escaped slaves himself and plan an attack on the bug camp that Kelly is still being held at. The attack begins successfully and Kelly (who has lost one of her fingers as punishment for trying to escape) joins in. Things seem hopeless when the bugs bring in heavy artillery, but the President’s group arrives and pulls off a sneak attack that blows up the bug’s tanks. The other slaves join in and defeat the bugs. Dr. Hood and his rebels then went on a quest to continue killing the bugs and gather more followers from the camps. “In time he (Dr. Hood) became known as The Great Exterminator”.

As usual Bruce Campbell has managed to make a film that if anyone else was playing the part would be intolerable but turns it into light hearted silly and good fun. if you’re a Bruce fan you wont be disappointed.

REVIEW: BITCH SLAP

CAST

Julia Voth (Lilith)
Erin Cummings (Spartacus: Blood and Sand)
America Olivo (Mission Impossible 5)
Michael Hurst (Death Warmed Over)
Ron Melendez (Children of The Corn 3)
William Gregory Lee (Dark Angel)
Minae Noji (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Kevin Sorbo (Hercules: TLJ)
Lucy Lawless (Ash vs Evil Dead)
Renee O’ Connor (Boogeyman 2)
Mark Lutz (Angel)
Zoe Bell (Death Proof)
Debbie Lee Carrington (Total Recall)

920x920Bitch Slap is everything you think it is. Girls. Guns. Catfights. Explosions. Lesbian romances. A story of bad guys, booty, alliances, betrayals, and secrets. It’s being billed as, “a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the B movie/exploitation films of the 1950s – 70s.This movie is irredeemably enjoyable, preposterous in both its story and its characters yet magnetic as a satire disguised as a schlocky male fantasy. It tells the story of three bad girls, all smoking hot, who find themselves in a plot to extort diamonds and weapons from an underworld kingpin, whose identity is a secret. The redhead is Hel, presumably short for Helen (Erin Cummings); she seems to be the leader of the group, tough but levelheaded, able to see the big picture and plan accordingly. The blonde is Camero (America Olivo), an oversexed hothead who’s on medication. She’s one of those people that hates everyone and is mad about everything, and has the dialogue to prove it. The brunette is a stripper named Trixie (Julia Voth), always upset, always overwhelmed, always wanting to play by the rules.1Every opportunity is taken to flaunt their feminine assets, and boy, do they have them – a basic shot is a slow-motion close-up of heaving breasts and deep cleavage, although some time is set aside for bare legs. There’s never a moment when they aren’t wearing high heels or don’t have makeup painted on their faces. And then there are times when they pause to do a little manual labor, such as digging in the middle of the desert. My, but it’s burning hot, and … is that a bucket of water sitting there? Maybe they should splash each other playfully in order to stay cool. Things will heat back up later on, when Trixie and Hel discover that their feelings for one another are deeper than they first imagined. That’s about when the situation goes completely out of control. Loyalties change. Identities are revealed. People get shot. Things blow up. And catfights.Intertwined with this is a ridiculous but somehow appropriate subplot about a notorious criminal known only as Pinky, never dealt with directly and never seen but fabled to be the most dangerous criminal mastermind who ever lived. When Trixie innocently brings up the subject, Hel and Camero speak in the same tones as someone telling a ghost story around a campfire. “Many believe Pinky’s a phantom,” says Camero. “Others think he sold his soul to the devil. I think he IS the devil.” Maybe so; a flashback sequence shows a silhouetted figure going nuts with what appear to be samurai swords, used to decapitate people left and right. Do we ever discover what Pinky looks like? With such gorgeous women displayed on the big screen, can you honestly say that you care?
When this movie is not going out of its way to be sexy, then it’s being incredibly goofy. Take Olivo, for example; the angrier she gets, the funnier she becomes, not only because she spews unbelievably inane profanity, but also because her character is the most aggressive. Bitch Slap is  indeed a great film, projected up on the screen in all its violent, foulmouthed, double-D glory. also Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, and Renée O’Connor all have cameos in Bitch Slap.