A SOLSTICE CAROL
Renee O’Conner (Boogeyman 2)
Peter Vere-Jones (The Hobbit)
Danielle Savre (Heroes)
Matt Cohen (South of Nowhere)
Chrissy Calhoun (Open Road)
Michael Graziadei (Into The Blue 2)
Mae Whitman (The Duff)
Renee O’ Connor (Xena)
Tobin Bell (Saw)
Johnny Simmons (Jennifer’s Body)
David Gallagher (Super 8)
Lesli Margherita (The Number 23)
Tom Lenk (Buffy)
Sammi Hanratty (A Christmas Carol)
The film focuses on Laura Porter (Danielle Savre), who as a child witnessed both her parents being brutally murdered by a hooded man, along with her brother Henry (Matt Cohen). Henry, who was in the same therapy group, seems to be doing fine and is seemingly cured. Henry goes off to a job interview. Laura gets comfortable with the group which consists of scotophobic Mark (David Gallagher), germaphobic Paul (Johnny Simmons), masochistic Alison (Mae Whitman), agoraphobic Darren (Michael Graziadei) who is scared of commitment and relationships, and Nicky (Chrissy Griffith), a bulimic girl who fears extreme weight gain. Laura struggles in facing her fear of the Boogeyman, the entity that Laura believes killed her parents.Soon, the therapy group begins to get murdered, one by one. All of their deaths relate to their fears. Mark falls down the elevator shaft, trying to escape from the darkness when the lights go out, and is torn in half. The next is Paul, who accidentally eats a cockroach after finding them in his bag of chips. The killer, a mysterious man wearing a Boogeyman mask and cloak, then hands him a bottle of cleaning solution, which Paul drinks and burns a hole in his throat. Laura begins to suspect these were not accidents. The lights go out at the hospital and all that’s left is Laura, Alison, Darren, Nicky, Dr. Ryan and Gloria, the receptionist. Gloria (Lesli Margherita) goes to the basement to check the lights. Alison is killed when the Boogeyman ties her to the bed and places maggots on her arms, which crawl into Alison’s skin using the cuts, forcing her to cut them out, killing herself in the process.Dr. Ryan goes to the basement to check on Gloria and is electrocuted when the Boogeyman throws an electrical cord into a puddle of water she is standing in. Laura finds a file on her brother and ones on other patients with Bogyphobia (what Laura has). She finds out that all Bogyphobia patients including Tim Jensen (the protagonist from the first film) have committed suicide after being treated by Dr. Allen. Darren and Nicky have sexual intercourse in the locker room as Laura finds Alison. She gets Darren and Nicky to where Alison was, but the blood and the maggots have been cleaned up. Darren and Nicky think she’s crazy. Darren and Nicky go to Darren’s room, where they have an argument. Darren thinks they shouldn’t have a relationship. Darren forces Nicky out of the room and is killed when the Boogeyman painfully cuts him open and takes out his heart.Laura goes to the basement when she hears Nicky scream and finds her on a table. Nicky has hoses attached to her, filling her with bile until she explodes. Laura runs away in shock, and the Boogeyman attacks her. He chases her through the hospital, where she finds Gloria dead and Dr. Ryan barely alive and mumbling, in some sort of trance. Laura begins a cat and mouse game with the Boogeyman, who chases her through the underground storage area, finally running into Dr. Allen, who thinks Laura committed the killings. He tries to sedate her, but the Boogeyman stabs Dr. Allen and shoves two needles in his eyes. The Boogeyman is revealed to be Henry, Laura’s brother. Dr. Allen abused Henry, locking him in a closet.Henry was beginning to doubt the Boogeyman’s existence, until the Boogeyman himself appeared in the closet and entered into him. Whist possessing Henry, the Boogeyman decided to take revenge on those who didn’t believe in him, and this way he would make himself known to the world. Henry then chases Laura. She hides in a room, but Henry finds her and she decapitates him with garden shears. The police arrive and discover that under the Boogeyman mask was Dr. Ryan. Between killing Dr. Allen and Laura running and hiding, Henry put a delusional Dr. Ryan in the Boogeyman mask and Laura decapitated Dr. Ryan. Laura knows that Henry is running free as she is about to be arrested after blood is found on her hands. Laura then has a breakdown, which prompts a paramedic to send in back up and she is dragged away by the police.In a post-credits scene, the Boogeyman looks at a picture before it disappears.The acting was great, the direction surprisingly well done & the film manages to stay at a quick pace with plenty of stalk scenes a few suspenseful moments & lots of neat kills. Tobin Bell is also in this playing the head doctor & fares well in the role. Worth a look for slasher fans, just don’t expect anything to spectacular & you should have fun. Neat twist ending too.
Lucy Lawless Spartacus)
Renee O’Connor (Boogeyman 2)
Ted Raimi (Ash vs Evil Dead)
Matthew Chamberlain (King Kong)
Anthony Ray Parker (The Matrix)
Renee O’ Connor (Xena)
Barry Bostwick (The Rocky Horror Picture Show)
Matt Lagan (Mega Shark vs Mecha SharkAdam Grimes )
Adam Grimes (The Last Exorcism)
A modern adaptation of the classic novel of the captain of a high tech submarine and his obsessive quest to destroy the enormousprehistoric whale that maimed him. Lets make make something clear, this is low budget. Whats worse is that any technical aspect that could possibly be wrong, is wrong. A low budget is no excuse for not doing some basic research on the internet before you being production, its free after all. We have navy officers wearing army field uniforms, we have have a one legged submarine captain and and helicopter attacking a submerged nuclear submarine with a machine gun, and doing enough damage to make the 400feet sub shake like it was being depth charged!All the special effects and animations looks like they transfered in from the eighties and and most of the sets are awful as well. The ultramodern submarine looks like a run down Russian factory on the inside, and the instrumentation seems borrowed from a lesser Sci-Fi production. I managed to sit through the movie. I’ll admit that I was desperately bored, but still. The acting is not as horrible as you might expect, but still far from anything memorable. And the basic story is not hopeless either, with a large studio this might have become an ok film.
Bruce Campbell (Ash vs Evil Dead)
Renee O’Connor (Xena: Warrior Princess)
Remington Franklin (Supercross)
Michael Cory Davis (The Call)
Peter Jason (They Live)
Neda Sokolovska (Man With The Screaming Brain)
Astronaut and Osteopath, Dr. Ivan Hood (Bruce Campbell) and his companion Kelly (Renee O’Connor) return to Earth after a 40-year space mission with two other astronauts. They are soon captured by other humans and one of their team is killed after sustaining a sprain; Dr. Hood pointed out that it would have healed in a few days. They are taken to a work camp, to their surprise, is run by locust-like aliens. These aliens had arrived 20 years ago to feast on the trees and used E.M.P. bombs to cripple earth before their invasion. The other member of their team is eaten alive by one of the aliens after refusing to work. The camp is supervised by human bounty hunters; they are treated better. After seeing how illiterate and savage humans have become due to the aliens, Dr. Hood and Kelly plan to make an escape the next day after hearing rumors that the President has survived and has an army waiting to strike back.The escape plan goes off without a hitch, but Kelly is recaptured by one of the guards. Dr. Hood travels to find the president and meets other humans who believe the President has survived. Dr. Hood and his convoy reach a secret headquarters to discover remnants of the American government and the President, who is now a shell of his former self. Extremely ticked off, Dr. Hood decides to rally the escaped slaves himself and plan an attack on the bug camp that Kelly is still being held at. The attack begins successfully and Kelly (who has lost one of her fingers as punishment for trying to escape) joins in. Things seem hopeless when the bugs bring in heavy artillery, but the President’s group arrives and pulls off a sneak attack that blows up the bug’s tanks. The other slaves join in and defeat the bugs. Dr. Hood and his rebels then went on a quest to continue killing the bugs and gather more followers from the camps. “In time he (Dr. Hood) became known as The Great Exterminator”.
As usual Bruce Campbell has managed to make a film that if anyone else was playing the part would be intolerable but turns it into light hearted silly and good fun. if you’re a Bruce fan you wont be disappointed.
Julia Voth (Lilith)
Erin Cummings (Spartacus: Blood and Sand)
America Olivo (Mission Impossible 5)
Michael Hurst (Death Warmed Over)
Ron Melendez (Children of The Corn 3)
William Gregory Lee (Dark Angel)
Minae Noji (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Kevin Sorbo (Hercules: TLJ)
Lucy Lawless (Ash vs Evil Dead)
Renee O’ Connor (Boogeyman 2)
Mark Lutz (Angel)
Zoe Bell (Death Proof)
Debbie Lee Carrington (Total Recall)
Bitch Slap is everything you think it is. Girls. Guns. Catfights. Explosions. Lesbian romances. A story of bad guys, booty, alliances, betrayals, and secrets. It’s being billed as, “a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the B movie/exploitation films of the 1950s – 70s.This movie is irredeemably enjoyable, preposterous in both its story and its characters yet magnetic as a satire disguised as a schlocky male fantasy. It tells the story of three bad girls, all smoking hot, who find themselves in a plot to extort diamonds and weapons from an underworld kingpin, whose identity is a secret. The redhead is Hel, presumably short for Helen (Erin Cummings); she seems to be the leader of the group, tough but levelheaded, able to see the big picture and plan accordingly. The blonde is Camero (America Olivo), an oversexed hothead who’s on medication. She’s one of those people that hates everyone and is mad about everything, and has the dialogue to prove it. The brunette is a stripper named Trixie (Julia Voth), always upset, always overwhelmed, always wanting to play by the rules.Every opportunity is taken to flaunt their feminine assets, and boy, do they have them – a basic shot is a slow-motion close-up of heaving breasts and deep cleavage, although some time is set aside for bare legs. There’s never a moment when they aren’t wearing high heels or don’t have makeup painted on their faces. And then there are times when they pause to do a little manual labor, such as digging in the middle of the desert. My, but it’s burning hot, and … is that a bucket of water sitting there? Maybe they should splash each other playfully in order to stay cool. Things will heat back up later on, when Trixie and Hel discover that their feelings for one another are deeper than they first imagined. That’s about when the situation goes completely out of control. Loyalties change. Identities are revealed. People get shot. Things blow up. And catfights.Intertwined with this is a ridiculous but somehow appropriate subplot about a notorious criminal known only as Pinky, never dealt with directly and never seen but fabled to be the most dangerous criminal mastermind who ever lived. When Trixie innocently brings up the subject, Hel and Camero speak in the same tones as someone telling a ghost story around a campfire. “Many believe Pinky’s a phantom,” says Camero. “Others think he sold his soul to the devil. I think he IS the devil.” Maybe so; a flashback sequence shows a silhouetted figure going nuts with what appear to be samurai swords, used to decapitate people left and right. Do we ever discover what Pinky looks like? With such gorgeous women displayed on the big screen, can you honestly say that you care?
When this movie is not going out of its way to be sexy, then it’s being incredibly goofy. Take Olivo, for example; the angrier she gets, the funnier she becomes, not only because she spews unbelievably inane profanity, but also because her character is the most aggressive. Bitch Slap is indeed a great film, projected up on the screen in all its violent, foulmouthed, double-D glory. also Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, and Renée O’Connor all have cameos in Bitch Slap.