REVIEW: WATER FOR ELEPHANTS

CAST

Robert Pattinson (Twilight)
Reese Witherspoon (Wild)
Christoph Waltz (The Green Hornet)
Paul Schneider (Lars and The Real Girl)
Jim Norton (American History X)
Hal Holbrook (Lincoln)
Richard Brake (Spy)
Ken Foree (The Devils Rejects)
James Frain (Gotham)
Sam Anderson (Angel)
John Aylward (Alias)
Brad Greenquist (Pet Sematary)
Tim Guinee (Iron Man)
Ilia Volok (Power Rangers Wild Force)
Andrew Connolly (Patriot Games)

Charlie O’Brien, Circus Vargas’ owner, encounters an elderly man named Jacob Jankowski, who is separated from his nursing home group. The two strike up a conversation and Jacob reveals he had a career in the circus business and was present during one of the most infamous circus disasters of all time, equal in seriousness to the 1944 Hartford circus fire and the Hagenbeck-Wallace Circus wreck.Jankowski tells his story to O’Brien, starting in 1931 when he was a 23-year-old veterinary medicine student at Cornell. During his final exam, he is informed that his parents were killed in a car accident. His father has left huge debts, and the bank was foreclosing on Jacob’s home. Feeling there is no point in returning to school, and having no home to go to, he jumps onto a passing train where he meets a kind old man named Camel.Jacob wakes up the next morning and discovers that he jumped on the Benzini Bros. circus train. He sees a beautiful young woman named Marlena Rosenbluth, and meets August, the circus’s ringmaster, head animal trainer, and Marlena’s husband. Jacob reveals he studied veterinary science and August hires Jacob as a vet for the circus animals after Jacob tells August that Silver (a show horse) has laminitis. August instructs Jacob to fix Silver and keep him performing as long as possible. But Jacob cannot bear to see Silver’s suffering and takes it upon himself to tell Marlena and shoots Silver. August is furious with Jacob’s decision to euthanize Silver against orders. To show Jacob who is boss, he threatens to throw him off the moving train — telling him that an animal’s suffering is nothing compared to a man’s, and that Jacob must carry out all of August’s future orders if he wishes to keep his job.August eventually procures Rosie the elephant as Silver’s replacement. He invites Jacob to his car for dinner and cocktails with him and Marlena. Jacob watches the married couple flirt and dance in front of him, but it becomes clear that their relationship is complicated because August is possessive, jealous and rough with Marlena. In the next few weeks, August becomes frustrated when Rosie seems impossible to train. August is brutal with Rosie, beating her with a bullhook when she fails to follow orders. After a brutal beating that August gave to Rosie when she ran away after fleeing from the event and dropping Marlena, Jacob realizes that the elephant only understands Polish commands. After that, Rosie performs beautifully and the circus enjoys a short period of success. While working together to train Rosie, Jacob and Marlena fall in love. After August discovers this, he cruelly taunts the two. Marlena discovers that August plans to throw Jacob from the train and they run away together, hiding in a local hotel. Soon after consummating their relationship, they are ambushed by August’s henchmen who drag Marlena away and beat up Jacob.Jacob returns to the circus to find Marlena. Marlena tells Jacob that his friends Walter and Camel were thrown from the train and killed. Several circus employees have become fed up with August’s murderous cruelty and unleash their revenge by unlocking all the animals’ cages while the big top tent is jam-packed with an audience enjoying Marlena and Rosie’s performance. Jacob attempts to find Marlena in the chaos and August attacks him. When Marlena tries to stop August from beating Jacob, he turns his fury on her and chokes her, while one of August’s henchmen beats Jacob. Wade and Grady, two of Jacob’s best friends and one of the circus workers save Jacob and he sees Rosie hit August on the back of the head with an iron stake, killing him. As a result, Benzini Bros. is officially shut down, and no one is charged with releasing the animals.Back in the present, Jacob explains to O’Brien in flashbacks that he returned to Cornell and finished his degree. He and Marlena took several horses and Rosie, and got jobs with the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus. Jacob worked as a veterinarian and she continued to perform with Rosie. They married, had children and kept Rosie until her death. He took on a job as a vet at the Albany Zoo and after more children and many happy years together Marlena died. O’Brien then asks Jacob to work as the ticket taker, which Jacob agrees to.I would recommend anyone who wants to see a well-played and twisted but unique storyline to see this movie whether you read the book or not, it was one of the best movies I have seen in a while. It really is amazing story that will make you cry,mad, and laugh all at the same time.

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REVIEW: WILD

CAST

Reese Witherspoon (Devil’s Knot)
Laura Dern (Jurassic Park)
Gaby Hoffman (Volcano)
Thomas Sadoski (John Wick)
Keene McRae (CBGB)
Michael Huisman (Game of Thrones)
W. Earl Brown (Bates Motel)
Brian Van Holt (House of Wax)
Cliff De Young (Flight of The Navigator)
Jan Hoag (Scream Queens)

In June 1995, despite a lack of hiking experience, recent divorcée Cheryl Strayed (Reese Witherspoon) leaves Minneapolis, Minnesota, to hike 1,100 miles of the 2,650-mile Pacific Crest Trail[6] on a journey of self-discovery and healing. During the hike, Strayed reflects in flashbacks on her childhood in Minnesota and memories of her mother, Bobbi Grey (Laura Dern). Bobbi’s death from cancer sent Cheryl into a deep depression that she tried to numb with heroin and anonymous sex, which eventually destroyed her marriage to her husband Paul (Thomas Sadoski). After finding out she was pregnant, Strayed got an abortion and resolved to hike the trail to redeem herself.Strayed begins her trek in the Mojave Desert in Southern California. On the first night, she discovers she has brought the wrong type of gas for her stove and is therefore unable to cook food. After a few more days, Strayed meets Frank (W. Earl Brown), a farmer and construction worker who takes her in for the night and with his wife offers her a home-cooked meal and a warm shower.Strayed meets a hiker named Greg (Kevin Rankin) who agrees to meet her at Kennedy Meadows, California. Upon arrival, she meets a camper named Ed (Cliff DeYoung) who helps Strayed strategically lighten her overweight backpack and convinces her to replace her undersized hiking boots with a new pair, to be delivered to a future stop on the trail. Strayed continues her hike into Northern California despite Greg’s warnings of deep snowfall. After removing a boot to remove a loose toenail, the boot accidentally falls down an inaccessibly deep slope, forcing her to continue the journey wearing sandals reinforced with duct tape. Strayed’s best friend Aimee sends her provisions to stops along the trail, including letters that congratulate her on her progress. Strayed also receives letters from her ex-husband Paul along the way. On the morning of Day 58, Strayed is out of water and desperately licks the dew off her tent. Dehydrated and near exhaustion, she siphons water from a muddy puddle. While she waits for her water to disinfect, two hunters approach, one making suggestive remarks that leave Strayed feeling threatened and vulnerable. This causes her to quickly leave and run away. Strayed makes her way out of California and arrives in Ashland, Oregon, where she meets a man named Jonathan (Michiel Huisman), with whom she attends a concert and later spends the night. Days later, Strayed arrives at Mount Hood National Forest and encounters a friendly group of young hikers who share their experiences. The hikers recognize her from the signatures she’s been leaving in the hiker’s record books along the PCT. Strayed frequently leaves quotes or poems that are meaningful to her along her journey.One rainy day, Strayed finds a llama that escaped from a young boy hiking with his grandmother. Strayed chats with the boy, who asks her about her parents. After she mentions her mother’s death, the boy sings “Red River Valley” to Strayed, saying it is a song his mother used to sing to him. As the boy leaves, Strayed breaks down and cries. On September 15, after hiking for 94 days, Strayed reaches the Bridge of the Gods on the Columbia River between Oregon and Washington, ending her journey. At various points along the trail, including at the end of the bridge, Strayed encounters a red fox, which she interprets as carrying the spirit of her mother watching over her. She reflects that, four years in the future, she will remarry, five years after that have a son and one year after that have a daughter named Bobbi, after Strayed’s mother.I really enjoyed this film. It’s based on a true story and has plenty of atmosphere and feelings. The extras are also good, especially how Reese Witherspoon contacted the Author of the book and asked her if she could make it into a film as she liked the book so much. I highly recommend this film.

REVIEW: THE SIMPSONS – SEASON 10-13

CAST

Dan Castellaneta (Super 8)
Julie Kavner  (Dr. Dolittle)
Yeardley Smith (Dead Like Me)
Nancy Cartwright (Kim Possible)
Hank Azaria (The Smurfs)
Harry Shearer (This Is Spinal Tap)
Pamela Hayden (Recess)
Tress MacNeille (Futurama)
Maggie Roswell (Pretty In Pink)
Russi Taylor (Babe)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Lisa Kudrow (Friends)
William Daniels (Knight Rider)
Phil Hartman (Small Soldiers)
Marcia Wallace (Full House)
Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street)
Kathie Lee Gifford (Hercules)
Ed McMahon (The Tom Show)
Regis Philbin (Jack and Jill)
Jerry Springer (Ringmaster)
Alec Baldwin (30 Rock)
Kim Basinger (Batman)
Brian Grazer (Arrested Development)
Ron Howard (Happy Days)
George Carlin (Dogma)
Martin Mull (Sabrina: TTW)
Mark Hamill (Star Wars)
Joe Mantegna (Criminal Minds)
Dick Tufeld (Lost In Space)
Cyndi Lauper (Bones)
Dolly Parton (Rhinestone)
Fred Willard (Anchorman)
Ed Begley Jr. (Veronica Mars)
Jan Hooks (3rd Rock From The Sun)
Elton John (Spice World)
Hank Williams Jr. (A Time To Sing)
John Kassir (Tales From The Crypt)
Isabella Rossellini (Death Becomes Her)
Jack LaLanne (More Wild Wild West)
Michael McKean (This is Spinal Tap)
Stephen Hawkings (The Big Bang Theory)
Keone Young (Men In Black 3)
George Takei (Star Trek)
Jack Burns (The Muppet Movie)
Mel Gibson (Mad Max)
Marcia Mitzman Gaven (Small Soldiers)
Edward Asner (Elf)
Tom Arnold (True Lies)
Dick Clark (Spy Kids)
Lucy Lawless (Ash Vs Evil Dead)
Frank Welker (Transformers)
Penn Jillette (Sabrina: TTW)
Butch Patrick (The Munsters)
Garry Marshall (Life After Beth)
Henry Wrinkler (Happy Days)
John Goodman (10 Cloverfield Lane)
Tim Robbins (Howard The Duck)
Don Cheadle (Iron Man 2)
Britney Spears (Crossroads)
Shawn Colvin (Crazy)
Betty White (Bones)
Diedrich Bader (Batman: The Brave and The Bold)
Parker Posey (Blade: Trinity)
Gary Coleman (Diff’rent Strokes)
Willie Nelson (The Dukes of Hazzard)
Roger Daltrey (Highlander: The Series)
Jay Mohr (Cherry Falls)
Drew Barrymore (Charlies Angels)
Joshua Jackson (Dawsons Creek)
Patrick McGoohan (Bravehart)
Edward Norton (The Bourne Legacy)
Michael Keaton (Birdman)
Charles Napier (the Silence of The Lambs)
Kelsey Grammer (Frasier)
Justin Timberlake (The Social Network)
Stacy Keach (American History X)
Kathy Griffin (Hall Pass)
Frankie Muniz (Malcolm In The Middle)
Pierce Brosnan (The World’s End)
Matthew Perry (Friends)
Jane Kaczmarek (Pleasantville)
Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Seinfeld)
Paul Newman (Road To Perdition)
Richard Gere (Pretty Woman)
Ben Stiller (Zoolander)
Dana Gould (Stan Against Evil)
Jon Lovitz (Big)
Reese Witherspoon (This Means War)
Dennis Weaver (Gunsmoke)
Olympia Dukakis (Moonstruck)
Stan Lee (Avengers Assemble)
Carmen Electra (Scary Movie)

The Simpsons just clicks at every level. This family may be dysfunctional but in the end, they are still a family in every way and we are gently reminded of this in almost every episode. Also, the cast of supporting characters that inhabit Springfield is no less funny than the main characters themselves, providing the show with comically colourful and screwball situations that just never get old. Not even after ten outstanding seasons.

SEASON 10 HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE

10.1) LARD OF THE DANCE

All the girls in Lisa’s class are impressed by the mature, trendy personality of a new student named Alex Whitney, and do everything they can to be just like her. Lisa, who is not as impressed and chooses to be herself, is forgotten by her classmates and becomes jealous of Alex. Lisa’s friends and Alex decide to host a school dance and they buy outfits for it in order to get dates. When Lisa goes to the dance, she discovers that the boys and the girls are at separate ends of the room, too embarrassed to dance with each other. As a result, Lisa is able to prove that Alex and her classmates are only children and not as mature as they try to be. Meanwhile, Homer convinces Bart to drop out of school for what he thinks to be a more promising pursuit: selling grease. However, this endeavor fails when their business results in a scuffle with Groundskeeper Willie.10.3) BART THE MOTHER

Nelson invites Bart over to test a BB gun he won at an arcade center. When Bart uses it and accidentally kills a bird mother, Marge becomes furious with him, thinking that he killed the animal on purpose. Bart feels guilty for what he did and takes it upon himself to nurse the mother’s orphaned eggs. Marge soon finds out about this and becomes proud of him. However, when the eggs hatch, they are found to be lizards that lived in the bird’s nest. Skinner, a member of the Springfield Birdwatching Society, tells Bart that the lizards must die because they kill so many species of birds. Bart refuses and helps the lizards escape. After the lizards devour the pigeon population, which the townsfolk considered to be a nuisance, Bart is honored by Mayor Quimby.10.5) WHEN YOU DISH UPON A STAR

When a parasailing accident sends Homer crashing into the secret home of Hollywood couple Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin, they hire him as their personal assistant, provided that Homer does not tell anyone where they live. The couple starts to become irritated with Homer, who gives them ridiculous suggestions for film screenplays. When he accidentally violates their trust by revealing their location in Springfield, the couple immediately end the friendship. After a chase between the Hollywood stars in their Hummer and Homer in his mobile museum of stuff that belongs to the couple, Homer is ordered by a court of law to remain 500 miles away from any celebrity.10.6) D’OH-IN IN THE WIND

While filling out a Screen Actors Guild form (after starring in an instructional video filmed at the nuclear plant where he works), Homer realizes that he does not know what his middle initial “J” stands for. After finding the answer, “Jay”, on a mural in the hippie commune where his mother once lived, Homer decides to live the hippie lifestyle. He stays with his mother’s old friends Seth and Munchie who now own a juice company. Homer quickly ruins one of their juice shipments by accident, and tries to make up for it by taking crops from their garden and making juice with them. However, some of these crops contained drugs and after people start to have crazy hallucinations from drinking the juice, Chief Wiggum arrests Seth and Munchie.10.7) LISA GETS AN “A”

While sick from school, Lisa becomes obsessed with a video game and forgets to study for a test on the book The Wind in the Willows. Not willing to fail, she calls upon Bart and Nelson to help her cheat, and gets an A+++. Consequently, Springfield Elementary School now qualifies for a basic assistance grant. Tormented by guilt for cheating, she reveals what she did to Skinner and Superintendent Chalmers, who persuade her to keep it a secret so the school can keep the money. At the grant ceremony, Lisa finally bursts out, only to realize the real ceremony had already taken place as Skinner and Chalmers anticipated her actions. Meanwhile, Homer houses a lobster to eat, but becomes emotionally attached to it and makes it his pet. However, he accidentally boils it to death while giving it a hot bath, and eats it sadly.10.9) MAYORED TO THE MOB

After saving Mayor Quimby from rioters at a science fiction convention, Homer becomes Quimby’s bodyguard. When Homer discovers that Mafia leader Fat Tony is providing rat milk to the schools of Springfield, he forces Quimby to expose Tony in return for saving Quimby from falling off a ledge. After Tony is arrested, he threatens to take Quimby’s life. While Quimby is spending an evening at a dinner theater, Homer discovers that Fat Tony is there alongside his henchman, Louie, having been released on bail. Homer foils an attempt by Louie to kill Quimby, and as Homer and Louie fight, Tony is able to savagely beat Quimby with a baseball bat. However, Tony makes sure to only restore Quimby’s fear of the Mafia and not kill him.10.10) VIVA NED FLANDERS

When Springfield’s only casino is demolished, massive dust clouds form, prompting the Simpson family and Ned to go to a car wash to get rid of the dust on their cars. There, Homer sees that Ned gets a senior discount. Thinking that Ned is not a senior and lying about his age, Homer reveals this at church. As a result, Ned is forced to admit to everyone that he is sixty years old and only looks young because he has never done anything exciting in his life. Out of pity, Homer decides to take him to Las Vegas, where, after a night of partying and gambling, they end up marrying two casino barmaids while drunk. As Homer and Ned try to escape from the barmaids the next day, they go on a wild rampage through the casino, until they are confronted by casino security and banned from ever visiting Las Vegas again.10.11) WILD BARTS CAN’T BE BROKEN

Homer, Lenny, Carl, and Barney celebrate a rare victory of the Springfield Isotopes baseball team and end up going on a drunken rampage through town. During this rampage, they vandalize Springfield Elementary School. The next morning, Chief Wiggum suspects that students committed the crime and places all of Springfield’s youth under curfew. The children respond by setting up a pirate radio show in which they reveal the embarrassing secrets of Springfield’s adults. The location from which the children send out the broadcast is soon tracked down and an argument between the children and the adults ensues. As each side is stating their case in a song, the senior citizens turn up to complain about the children and the adults and agree to raise a curfew for everyone less than seventy years old.10.12) SUNDAY, CRUDDY SUNDAY

While buying new tires for his car, Homer meets a travel agent who offers Homer a free bus ride to the Super Bowl, as long as he can find enough people to fill the agent’s bus. A group of Springfield men tag along to what soon becomes a problematic trip after the tickets are discovered to be fake. As a result, they are locked in “Super Bowl Jail”. Thanks to help from Dolly Parton, they break out and attempt to find the football field, until they get lost in the sea of players that run through the corridors of the stadium to the locker room after winning the Super Bowl. Much to their happiness, Homer and his friends end up in the locker room with the players. Meanwhile, Marge and Lisa try to find the missing parts of “Vincent Price’s Egg Magic”, a celebrity-endorsed craft kit.10.13) HOMER TO THE MAX

Homer is delighted with the positive attention he receives after a new television show airs that features a police character also named Homer Simpson. However, when the character is changed from a hero to a bumbling idiot by the show’s producers, Homer is mocked and taunted by those he knows, so he changes his name to “Max Power” to rid himself of the negative attention. The new name earns Max respect, and he and Marge are invited to a party where they meet a lot of famous people who are going to save a redwood forest from destruction by chaining themselves to the trees. However, Max accidentally cuts his tree with his chains while running away from police officers Eddie and Lou. The tree knocks down all the other redwoods in a chain reaction, angering Max’s newfound friends. In the end, Max changes his name back to Homer.10.14) I’M WITH CUPID

After Apu and Manjula have a big fight, Apu showers his wife with elaborate Valentine’s Day gifts to make up for it, making the rest of the men in Springfield look bad in front of their women. His final gift is to write a love note to Manjula in the sky—which Homer (along with a group of other discontented male characters) plans to sabotage. When the plane is about to spray the message “I ❤️ U MANJULA”, Homer manages to destroy the canister at “I ❤️ U ⭐️”, a message that the women of Springfield think was made only for them by their partners. Homer is able to win Marge’s love back by jumping out of the plane covered in roses and landing in front of her in their backyard. Meanwhile, to reconcile Apu with his wife, Elton John performs a private concert for the couple.10.15) MARGE SIMPSON IN “SCREAMING YELLOW HONKERS”

Homer buys an SUV but upon discovery that it was designed as a “woman’s car”, he gives it to Marge. Infatuated with the car, she proceeds to develop a ferocious road rage and ends up losing her license when she fails a driving test and crashes it into a prison. However, her road rage is required when Homer accidentally sets all the rhinoceros in a zoo free. Marge agrees to assist the police in rounding up the animals, but learns there is one missing and sees Homer being carried off by it. She chases the angry rhino into a construction site and deliberately crashes the SUV, making it burst into flames. The rhino instinctively attempts to stamp out the fire, allowing Homer to escape.10.16) MAKE ROOM FOR LISA

When Homer uses Lisa’s room as a cellular phone transmitter to pay off damages he did to the Bill of Rights at a Smithsonian exhibit, Lisa is forced to move into Bart’s room. Lisa becomes furious with her father for having to share a room with her brother. She fears that she and Homer will never be close because of their clashing personalities and begins to develop stress-related stomach aches. To relieve these aches, Homer and Lisa visit a New Age store where the owner convinces them to go on a spiritual journey by lying in a sensory deprivation tank for a prolonged amount of time. On her journey, Lisa discovers that beneath Homer’s bumbling outside, he really does care about her. Reconciled, the two of them watch a demolition derby together, something they equally enjoy. Meanwhile, Marge uses Maggie’s baby monitor to listen in on other people’s phone calls; however, when Milhouse and Bart play a prank on her, Marge knocks Milhouse out, thinking he was a burglar.10.17) MAXIMUM HOMERDRIVE

While at a steakhouse, a trucker named Red challenges Homer to an eating contest. Red wins, but quickly dies of “beef poisoning”, making it the first time he will miss a shipment. Feeling bad for him, Homer takes on the duty of transporting Red’s cargo to Atlanta with his son Bart by his side. After falling asleep behind the wheel, Homer awakes to discover that the truck drove by itself with its Navitron Autodrive system. He informs other truck drivers, who tell him that he cannot let anyone know about the Autodrive system because it would make all truck drivers lose their jobs. Later, when cars that pass by Homer find out about it, a mob of truckers confront him. Homer and Bart escape, finish the shipment on time, and go home on a freight train. Meanwhile, after deducing that only Homer and Bart get to do the fun things in life, Marge and Lisa decide to add excitement to their lives by installing a new doorbell. However, it starts to malfunction after Lisa presses it.10.19) MOM AND POP ART

Homer tries to assemble a barbecue pit quickly, but fails and is left with a mismatched collection of parts stuck in hardened cement. As a result, he vents his rage on the construct, mangling it further. When Homer takes the failed barbecue pit back to the store, an art dealer sees it and describes it as a masterpiece of outsider art. As a result, he gets his own art exhibition and channels his rage into his work. Marge, who had been trying to succeed at art for years, gets jealous of Homer’s easy success. However, when Homer makes new art pieces for a show called “Art in America” that are similar to his first piece, his peers reject him as repetitive. In an attempt to do something groundbreaking, Homer floods Springfield and puts snorkels on the animals. The townspeople declare this a masterpiece and everyone enjoys the new “Grand Canals of Springfield”.10.21) MONTY CAN’T BUY ME LOVE

Billionaire Arthur Fortune captures Springfield’s heart by giving each customer a dollar at the opening of his new store. This embarrasses the unpopular Mr. Burns, who recruits Homer to help him be loved by all. However, their various schemes fail. Feeling disappointed, Burns makes his newest plan, which is to go to Scotland to catch the legendary Loch Ness Monster. After some minor setbacks, Burns is able to capture the monster and sends it to Springfield to be unveiled, where the friendly “Nessie” charms all of the spectators and makes Burns more likable. However, during the unveiling, Burns is blinded by camera flashes and runs into a camera which crashes and starts a fire. As a result, the crowd flees in panic. Following this disaster, Homer cheers up Burns by pointing out that being loved means you have to be nice to people every day but being hated is effortless.10.22) THEY SAVED LISA’S BRAIN

After a riot occurs at a Springfield contest that promises a luxurious trip to the most disgusting and dimwitted contest participant, Lisa, disgusted at the lack of intelligence, writes a letter that appears in the newspaper. Springfield’s branch of Mensa International, consisting of Comic Book Guy, Dr. Hibbert, Principal Skinner, Professor Frink, and Lindsay Naegle, is impressed and invites Lisa to join the group. When the Mensa members lose their gazebo at the park, they go to complain to Mayor Quimby. However, the mayor thinks they are there to confront him about his political corruption so he flees from Springfield. As a result, Lisa and the others are granted power to the city since they are the smartest. The power eventually corrupts them and they are cornered by a mob, only to be saved when Stephen Hawking shows up. Meanwhile, Homer gets erotic photographs of himself taken for Marge, but while she enjoys them a lot, she gets distracted by the interior design Homer did in their basement for the photo shoot and they do not have sex that night.10.23) THIRTY MINUTES OVER TOKYO

When Snake Jailbird steals money from the Simpson family’s bank account through the Internet, the Simpsons go on a budget and save enough to buy a trip to Japan. The Simpsons thoroughly enjoy the country, and Homer defeats one of the mightiest Sumo wrestlers. Impressed, the Emperor of Japan congratulates Homer, but, thinking the emperor is a new challenger, Homer knocks him out. As a result, he is placed in prison. After Marge pays the bail, Homer loses their last money and the family is unable to buy plane tickets home. All seems lost until a Japanese game show allows the Simpsons to compete in order to return to Springfield. Their last task on the show is to retrieve the plane tickets on a suspension bridge over an active volcano, which, once the family falls in, is revealed to be filled with orangeade and not lava. Although the family gets the tickets, Homer scolds the Japanese for their lack of ethics.

Although Season 11 is mostly criticised for not being one of the strongest seasons of The Simpsons. However, it’s not all bad, as some reviewers are making it out to be. Some highs and lows here and there, including some of my personal favourites.

SEASON 11 HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE

11.1) BEYOND BLUNDERDOME

After destroying an “Elec-Taurus” electric car in a test run, the Simpsons are given free tickets to Mel Gibson’s new film, a remake of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington. Mel Gibson, however, laments his current role without violence and wants someone to give him criticism. When Homer sees Mel talking with Marge, he gives Mel a brutal review, leading Mel to believe that Homer is the only man brave enough to give suggestions. As a result, he hires him to create a better ending. However, when the ending proves to be too controversial, Mel and Homer end up on the run from studio executives with the film.11.2) BROTHER’S LITTLE HELPER

Bart is diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder and prescribed a Ritalin-esque drug called Focusyn. At first, the drug makes Bart well-behaved and intellectual, but soon, Bart becomes paranoid, claiming that there are satellites owned by Major League Baseball that are spying on the town. When ordered to stop, Bart refuses, devours a few hundred, and proves his theory right by destroying the satellite with a tank. All is restored when Bart goes back to his ordinary pills.11.3) GUESS WHO’S COMING TO CRITICIZE DINNER?

Homer becomes a food critic for a Springfield newspaper and ends up annoying the restaurant owners of Springfield after he makes negative reviews just to be mean, advice he took from fellow critics. Springfield’s restaurant owners then attempt to kill Homer by feeding him a poisoned éclair.21.6) HELLO GUTTER, HELLO FADDER

Homer becomes a local celebrity after bowling a 300 game, but his fame quickly fades as “yesterday’s news”. After a botched suicide attempt foiled by Otto, Homer decides to spend time with Maggie after seeing Ron Howard spend time with his children. When Homer tries to teach Maggie swimming, he fails due to her mistrust of him, and has to pulled out the beach by Maggie. Eventually, Homer brings Maggie to a bowling game, where she bowls a perfect game.11.7) EIGHT MISBEHAVIN

After Manjula gives birth to octuplets that were the result of fertility drugs, she and Apu unintentionally allow a zookeeper to exploit their babies in exchange for help after corporate sponsors abandon them for a mom that has given birth to nontuplets in Shelbyville. After a failed rescue attempt by Homer and Apu, the zoo keeper agrees to return the babies only if Butch Patrick and Homer ride a tricycle dressed as Eddie Munster on stage while attacked by cobras.11.8) TAKE MY WIFE, SLEAZE

Homer wins a Harley-Davidson motorcycle at a fifties dancing contest and starts his own biker gang, naming it “Hell’s Satans”. However, this attracts the real biker gang called “Hell’s Satans” to crash at their house. However, after a while, they begin to appreciate Marge, who takes care of them, and kidnaps her. Homer tracks them down and scuffles with Meathook, the leader. At Marge’s suggestion, the gang settles down and lives normal lives.11.10) LITTLE BIG MOM

While the Simpson family goes skiing, Marge remains at the ski lodge due to her fear of skiing, only to break her leg from a falling clock. As a result, while hospitalised, Marge leaves Lisa to deal with the slovenly Bart and Homer, who do nothing but take their toll on their house. However, in an attempt to motivate them, she pulls a prank suggested by the ghost of Lucille Ball on Bart and Homer by making it look like they have leprosy. At Ned Flanders’ suggestion, Bart and Homer end up in Hawaii; with them gone, Lisa finishes cleaning the house as Marge arrives home, her cast off. The pair then go to retrieve Homer and Bart, who are enjoying themselves despite the shock therapy.11.11) FAITH OFF

Bart believes he has the power to heal others through faith after removing a bucket glued to Homer’s head. However, when Bart knocks Milhouse’s glasses off in order to cure his myopia, Milhouse is nearly run over by a truck that he thinks is a dog as he cannot see without his glasses. Consequently, Bart, feeling guilty, ends his career as a faith healer. Meanwhile, Homer creates a homecoming game float for Springfield University. However, he soon forgets about it, and accidentally injures the star player, Anton Lubchenko. After getting in trouble with Fat Tony, Homer is saved when Lubchenko sacrifices his leg to win the game; the leg is surgically reattached by Doctor Hibbert, who is relieved at the end of Bart’s healing career. 11.12) THE MANSION FAMILY

Mr. Burns goes to the Mayo Clinic for a checkup after being declared the oldest man in Springfield, leaving the Simpsons to house-sit for him and Homer to take advantage of living as a rich man. However, when Homer wants to throw a party, he goes to Moe’s, where he must buy the alcohol in international waters as it is Sunday before 2 PM. There, they are captured by Chinese pirates. Later, Burns discovers that as a result of having all the existing diseases, he is perfectly healthy as all the germs simply cancel each other out. Consequently, he returns and kicks out the Simpsons, who have not even enjoyed being rich, causing Homer to be extremely bitter and resentful.11.14) ALONE AGAIN, NATURA-DIDDILY

Maude Flanders is killed in a freak accident during a stock car race, devastating Ned and prompting Homer to find a new woman for his grieving neighbor. However, Ned begins losing his faith in God before being prompted back by a Christian rock band.11.15) MISSIONARY: IMPOSSIBLE

Homer gets in trouble with PBS after confessing he does not have $10,000 to give them for their pledge drive–and ends up a missionary on a South Pacific island.11.16) PYGMOELIAN

After getting his face censored out on the Duff Calendar for not being photogenic, Moe gets plastic surgery and becomes the star of a popular soap opera. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa go after Maggie’s pink elephant balloon after it floats away.11.18) DAYS OF WINE AND D’OH’SES

Barney realizes how much of a pathetic drunk he is after watching his birthday party video and decides to give up alcohol forever, which does not sit well with Homer. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa work together to take a memorable photo for a new phone book cover contest.11.20) LAST TAP DANCE IN SPRINGFIELD

Inspired by a movie about a girl who enters a tango contest and wins, Lisa decides to sign up for dance lessons — and ends up taking tap lessons from a former child star. Meanwhile, Bart and Milhouse hide out at the mall to escape going to summer camp.11.21) IT’S A MAD, MAD, MAD, MAD MARGE

Otto dumps his fiancee, Becky, at the altar, leaving her to become the Simpsons’ latest houseguest, prompting Marge to go insane when Patty and Selma scare Marge with thoughts of Becky replacing Marge as a wife and mother. Meanwhile, Springfield Elementary gives Bart’s fourth grade class videocameras (after slashing geography out of the budget) and Bart sets out to create a movie.11.22) BEHIND THE LAUGHTER

In a parody of VH1’s Behind the Music, viewers take an inside look at The Simpsons’ rise to fame–and the many scandals, feuds and break-ups that threatened to end the show and split up the family.

The argument will rage long after the boxset of The Simpsons: Season 11 has been released about when exactly America’s finest television animated export actually peaked. Some arguably, with genuine gusto, that it was a year or two before this series was first shown. Most purists though satisfy themselves that it’s the single digit seasons where the best of The Simpsons, but there’s certainly plenty of gold in this set.

12.2) A TALE OF TWO SPRINGFIELDS

While calling Animal Control over a badger taking residence in Santa’s Little Helper’s doghouse, Homer discovers that Springfield has two different area codes–and ends up leading a revolt that splits the town in two.12.3) INSANE CLOWN POPPY

Krusty takes parenting lessons from Homer when, during an outdoor book fair, a girl tells Krusty that she is his long-lost daughter from a one-night stand with a female soldier who fought during the first Gulf War.12.5) HOMER VS DIGNITY

When the Simpsons once again have financial problems, Mr. Burns pays Homer to play pranks on others and humiliate himself in public. Meanwhile, Smithers creates a Malibu Stacy-themed musical.12.6) THE COMPUTER WORE MENACE SHOES

Homer decides to buy a computer after turning up to the Plant to find it closed by e-mail. He then creates his own website and it eventually gains attention when he posts gossip. Homer dubs himself as “Mr. X” to conceal his identity. When he reveals that he is Mr. X, he becomes drugged into a mysterious island where people who know too much are imprisoned after Homer starts writing conspiracy theories such as flu shots.screen-shot-2012-06-06-at-10-36-16-am12.9) HOMR

While working as a human guinea pig (to pay off the family’s lost savings after making a bad investment), Homer discovers the root cause of his subnormal intelligence: a crayon that was lodged in his brain ever since he was a boy. He decides to have it removed to increase his IQ, but discovers that being smart does not necessarily equal being happy.12.10) POKEY MOM

Bart and Milhouse are banned from The Android Dungeon after stopping Comic Book Guy from buying a box of priceless Star Wars memorabilia for $5, but are hired as his replacements when Comic Book Guy has a heart attack and is advised to leave his job in order to make friends.12.12) TENNIS THE MENACE

While making funeral arrangements for Grampa’s future, the funeral planner pitches the idea of a mausoleum that uses the same amount of cement as a full-sized tennis court. This prompts Homer to instead build a tennis court in his backyard, initially mistaking the sport for “Foxy Boxing”. The tennis court makes Marge and Homer popular in town, but it turns out that this is only because Homer’s inferior tennis ability makes them an easy target. Bart on the other hand, shines as a natural.12.13) DAY OF THE JACKANAPES

Krusty announces his retirement due to interference from network executives and the growing popularity of the big-money game show “Me Wantee”, but when Krusty reveals to Sideshow Bob that all of the episodes featuring him have been erased, Sideshow Bob uses Krusty’s biggest fan (Bart) to murder him during Krusty’s farewell show.

12.14) NEW KIDS ON THE BLEACH

A music producer selects Bart, Nelson, Milhouse and Ralph to be members of the next hit boy band, who record subliminal songs about joining the Navy.12.15) HUNGRY, HUNGRY HOMER

When Lisa becomes the target of a female bully, Lisa discovers a scientific reason as to why bullies pick on nerds. Meanwhile, Homer goes into the baby-proofing business, which is threatening the businesses of pediatricians and greeting card salesmen.12.16) BYE BYE NERDIE

When Lisa becomes the target of a female bully, Lisa discovers a scientific reason as to why bullies pick on nerds. Meanwhile, Homer goes into the baby-proofing business, which is threatening the businesses of pediatricians and greeting card salesmen.
12.19) I’M GOIN’ TO PRAISELAND

After finding a sketchbook belonging to his late wife Maude, Ned Flanders opens a Bible-themed amusement park to honor her memory.

The Simpsons season 13 is another great season, full of laughs from our lovable characters Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa and Maggie. Everything about the episodes are great, I cannot stress how much I love this season.13.2) THE PARENT RAP

Bart gets in trouble for joyriding in a police car, but feels confident he will be let off by Judge Snyder. However, Snyder goes on vacation before ruling his verdict and is replaced with a coldhearted judge named Constance Harm. She accuses Homer of being a negligent father and sentences him to be tethered to Bart. The two are against it at first but later start to bond. Marge however is unable to take anymore of it and slices the tether off of them both. Homer and Marge then go after Judge Harm only to end up sinking her houseboat. Eventually Bart decides to take punishment and is about to be sentenced to 5 year in juvenile hall, only though Judge Snyder returns and dismisses Harm. 13.3) HOMER THE MOE

Moe becomes depressed and decides to return to bartending school so he can re-evaluate himself. He meets an old teacher, who suggests that Moe try improving his bar, which might make him happier. Moe takes the advice, and turns his bar into a trendy nightclub, which does not sit well with his regular customers Homer, Lenny, Carl, and Barney. 13.5) THE BLUNDER YEARS

After tricking Marge into thinking an advertising spokesman is coming to visit her, Homer takes Marge and the rest of the family to a restaurant. A hypnotist uses his powers on Homer, and makes him remember a horrific childhood incident where Homer found a dead body in a ravine. The Simpson family decides to investigate this and find out where the body came from.13.7) BRAWL IN THE FAMILY

A social worker is assigned to make the Simpson family functional after they get arrested for fighting while playing Monopoly. He helps them learn how to work together and function as a family. The moment is ruined when, Ginger and Amber, the barmaids who married Homer and Flanders while they were drunk in “Viva Ned Flanders”, arrive at the Simpsons’ home, which outrages Marge. 13.9) JAWS WIRED SHUT

A jaw injury from colliding with a new town statue turns Homer into a better listener while recuperating with his jaws wired shut, but once the wires come off, Homer does not go back to being loud and obnoxious and Marge becomes starved for thrills.13.10) HALF-DECENT PROPOSAL

Homer develops a snoring problem, so Marge decides to spend a night with her sisters Patty and Selma. After a night of drinking, Marge sees a news report about her ex-prom date Artie Ziff, who is now very wealthy, and decides to send him an e-mail. Artie is still obsessed with Marge, so he offers the Simpsons $1 million in exchange for Marge spending a weekend with him.13.11) THE BART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS

Bart befriends Rainer Wolfcastle’s daughter Greta. She has a crush on Bart, but he does not seem to realize it and eventually stops seeing her. Seeking revenge, Greta begins dating Bart’s best friend Milhouse, which causes Bart to start missing her. She leaves for Toronto with her father, and Bart convinces his family to follow them there.13.15) BLAME IT ON LISA

When Homer gets the family’s telephone service cut off for refusing to pay for calls made to Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, Lisa confesses that she was the one who called Rio after sponsoring an orphan who goes missing. She convinces the family to travel to Brazil to look for him. However, once there, they have no luck finding him, and Homer is kidnapped.13.16) WEEKEND AT BURNSIES

Homer is prescribed medicinal marijuana after getting pecked in the eyes by a murder of crows. While his family and friends worry about the drug altering his personality, Homer becomes Mr. Burns’s vice president after cracking up at Burns’s antiquated jokes.13.18) I AM FURIOUS (YELLOW)

Inspired by a cartoonist who speaks at the school as part of a career day assembly, Bart creates a comic book series based on Homer and his anger problems, which turns into a popular Internet cartoon series called Angry Dad. Homer finds out about this and is at first outraged, but after talking to his family, he decides to try to become a less angry person.13.19) THE SWEETEST APU

Homer and Marge discover that Apu is having an affair with the Squishee delivery lady at the Kwik-E-Mart. They decide to keep Apu’s wife Manjula from finding out about it. However, she eventually learns of Apu’s affair by watching store security tapes. She throws Apu out of the house and decides to file for divorce, but soon realizes that she misses him.13.20) LITTLE GIRL IN THE BIG TEN

Lisa tries to fit in with two college students by lying about her age. She finds that the college atmosphere is perfect for her, but her lie is soon discovered and she is shunned by her fellow elementary school students. Meanwhile, Bart is diagnosed with a weakened immune system after getting bitten by a Chinese mosquito and must live in a plastic, germ-free bubble.13.21) THE FRYING GAME

While faced with community service for abusing an endangered insect, Homer begins assisting an elderly woman named Mrs. Bellamy. One night, Mrs. Bellamy is murdered, and Homer and Marge are accused of committing the crime.All in all some great episodes in these 4 sets and they still remain watchable years later.

 

REVIEW: AMERICAN PSYCHO

CAST

Christian Bale (Batman Begins)
Reese Witherspoon (Devil’s Knot)
Chloe Sevigny (Big Love)
Justin Theroux (The Girl On The Train)
Josh Lucas (Hulk)
Bill Sage (Precious)
Matt Ross (The Aviator)
Jared Leto (Suicide Squad)
Samantha Mathis (The Punisher)
Willem Dafoe (The Last Temptation of Christ)
Cara Seymour (You’ve Got Mail)
Guinevere Turner (Go Fish)
Krista Sutton (6teen)
Reg E. Cathey (Fantastic Four)
Anthony Lemke (Dark Matter)

In 1987, wealthy New York investment banker Patrick Bateman’s life revolves around dining at trendy restaurants while keeping up appearances for his fiancée Evelyn and for his circle of wealthy and shallow associates, most of whom he dislikes. Bateman describes the material accoutrements of his lifestyle, including his daily morning exercise and beautification routine. He also discusses his music collection, with performers such as Huey Lewis and the News, Phil Collins, and Whitney Houston. His focus on a lavish lifestyle is also evident by his taste in expensive designer clothing and his luxurious apartment.Bateman and his associates flaunt their business cards in a display of vanity. Enraged by the superiority of co-worker Paul Allen’s card, Bateman murders a homeless man and kills the man’s dog. At a Christmas party, Bateman makes plans to have dinner with Paul, with Paul mistaking Bateman for another coworker, Marcus Halberstram. Bateman gets Paul drunk and lures him back to his apartment. While playing “Hip to Be Square” on the stereo, explaining to Paul his opinion and interpretation of the song, Bateman murders Paul with an axe, donning a rain coat moments before, to keep blood off of his clothes. He disposes of Paul’s body, then goes to Paul’s apartment to stage the situation so that others believe Paul has run off to London.Bateman is later interviewed about Paul’s disappearance in his office by private detective Donald Kimball, hired by Paul’s family. During the night, Bateman takes two prostitutes, whom he names Christie and Sabrina, to his apartment and explains to them the improvement he saw in the band Genesis after they moved away from progressive rock toward a more pop rock sound beginning with the album Duke. After they have sex, Bateman tells them to stay, while taking out instruments he uses for torture. In the next scene, the prostitutes leave his apartment bruised and bloodied.The next day, Bateman’s colleague Luis Carruthers reveals his new business card. Bateman tries to kill Luis in the restroom of an expensive restaurant, but cannot bring himself to strangle him. Luis mistakes the attempted murder for a sexual advance and declares his love for Bateman, who flees in disgust. After murdering a model, Bateman invites his secretary, Jean, to dinner, suggesting she meet him at his apartment for drinks beforehand. When Jean arrives, Bateman, unbeknownst to her, holds a nailgun to the back of her head while the two converse. When he receives an answering machine message from his fiancée, he asks Jean to leave. Kimball meets Bateman for lunch and tells him he is not under suspicion.Bateman has a threesome with his friend Elizabeth and Christie at Paul’s apartment. Bateman kills Elizabeth during sex, and Christie runs, discovering multiple female corpses as she searches for an exit. She is chased by a naked Bateman wielding a chainsaw, and as she is running down the stairs of Paul’s apartment building, is killed by the chainsaw which Bateman drops from several levels above herBateman breaks off his engagement with Evelyn. That night, as he uses an ATM, he finds a stray kitten; the ATM displays the text “feed me a stray cat”. As he prepares to shoot the cat, a woman sees him and tries to stop him; he shoots her and lets the cat go free. A police chase ensues, but Bateman destroys the police cars by shooting their gas tanks. Fleeing to his office, Bateman enters the wrong office building, where he murders a security guard and a janitor. In an office he believes to be his, Bateman calls his lawyer Harold and frantically leaves a lengthy confession on Harold’s answering machine.The following morning, Bateman visits Paul’s apartment, expecting it to be full of decomposing bodies and in the middle of a police investigation, but it is vacant and for sale. The real estate broker tells him to leave. As Bateman goes to meet with his colleagues and lawyer for lunch, a horrified Jean finds detailed drawings of murder, mutilation, and rape in Bateman’s office journal. Bateman sees Harold at a restaurant and tries to convince him that he is a serial killer relating to the phone message he left the other night. Harold mistakes Bateman for another colleague and laughs off the phone message confession as a joke, saying he had dinner with Paul in London days earlier. A confused Bateman returns to his friends and in a final voice-over narration, he realizes he will continue to escape the punishment he deserves, that there has been no catharsis: “This confession has meant nothing”.American Psycho is wickedly funny, surreal and gruesome film, a stroke of masterpiece.

REVIEW: LEGALLY BLONDE 2

CAST

Reese Witherspoon (Cruel Intentions)
Sally Field (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Bob Newhart (The Big Bang Theory)
Regina King (Ray)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls)
Bruce McGill (Collateral)
Dana Ivey (Two Weeks Notice)
Mary Lynn-Rajskub (24)
Jessica Cauffiel (White Chicks)
Alanna Ubach (Waiting…)
Stanley Anderson (Spider-Man)
Bruce Thomas (Army of Darkness)
Luke Wilson (Old School)
Jack McGee (The Fighter)
Octavia Spencer (Insurgent)
Tane McClure (Go)
Masi Oka (Heroes)

Elle Woods wants her Chihuahua, Bruiser, to reunite with his mother, because she would like Bruiser’s mom to attend Elle and Emmett’s wedding. Elle hires a detective to find Bruiser’s mother, only to discover that the owner of her dog’s mother is C’est Magnifique, a cosmetics company that uses Bruiser’s mother for “testing”. She finds out that her law firm represents the C’est Magnifique Corporation.Elle decides to leave Boston, where she and Bruiser have settled with her fiancé Emmett, and go to Washington, D.C., to work on Bruiser’s Bill. Elle is upset that her dog’s mother is in a make-up testing laboratory, and decides to take it upon herself to be the “voice for those who can’t speak” and to outlaw animal testing.While working for Congresswoman Victoria Rudd, Elle is met with skepticism and other barriers common to Washington politics. Rudd’s member of staff, Timothy, sarcastically calls her “Capitol Barbie”. After a variety of ups and downs including a failed attempt to improve her work environment by having her co-workers write compliments about one another and place them in the “snap cup”, Elle starts to lose her faith in Washington politics.As the story moves along, Elle discovers that Bruiser is actually gay, after she is paged by “The Paws that Refreshes: A Doggy Day Spa”. Bruiser has been affectionate with Leslie, a Rottweiller owned by Congressman Stan Marks, the Chairman of the Committee on Energy and Commerce which has jurisdiction over Bruiser’s Bill. Elle also finds that Congresswoman Libby Hauser, the Ranking Member of the same committee, was a member of Elle’s sorority Delta Nu. As a result, both Marks and Hauser warm to Elle and eventually come to support Bruiser’s Bill.Elle also discovers that Congresswoman Rudd has actually been working against her. Rudd has been doing so in an effort to satisfy the interests of a major campaign donor named “Bob” (who is never seen, but with whom Rudd has several telephone conversations). However, Rudd is eventually blackmailed into supporting Elle’s petition, because Rudd’s Chief of Staff, Grace Rossiter, eavesdrops on a recorded conversation during which Rudd admits to Elle that she has been working against Bruiser’s Bill in order to help Rudd’s sponsors who want to continue with tests on animals. As Grace is appalled that Rudd lied to Elle and blamed it on her, Grace and Elle eventually reach a place of mutual respect, especially after Grace admits she came to Washington D.C. with an enthusiasm not unlike Elle’s, but later lost that idealism when she discovered how dirty politics could really be.With the help of her friends, Elle’s discharge petition is successful, and Bruiser’s Bill is brought to the floor of the House. Bruiser’s mother and the rest of the dogs are released by C’est Magnifique Corporation. Elle and Emmett get married in a park in D.C., albeit not at Fenway Park as they had planned, but standing on the home plate which has been delivered to D.C. by the UPS Guy. In the final scene, Emmett asks Elle whether they want to live in Beverly Hills, Washington D.C., or Boston. As Elle has many legal and political job offers after the successful discharge hearing, she responds, “Oh, I think I know just the place,” and winks as they drive by the White House.Not as good as the original but still a good flick. Still some good laugh and well worth a watch.

 

REVIEW: LEGALLY BLONDE

CAST

Reese Witherspoon (Cruel Intentions)
Luke Wilson (Old School)
Selma Blair (Hellboy)
Matthew Davis (The Vampire Diaries)
Victor Garber (Legends of Tomorrow)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls)
Holland Taylor (two and a Half Men)
Ali Larter (Heroes)
Jessica Cauffiel (White Chicks)
Alanna Ubach (Waiting…)
Oz perkins (Secretary)
Linda Cardellini (Scooby-Doo)
Bruce Thomas (Army of Darkness)
Meredith Scott Lynn (Days of Our Lives)
Raquel Welch (One Million Years B.C.)
Tane McClure (Go)
Lacey Beeman (American Pie 2)
Brody Hutzler (Guiding Light)

Fashion merchandising student Elle Woods is taken to an expensive restaurant by her boyfriend, the governor’s son, Warner Huntington III. She expects Warner to propose, but he breaks up with her instead, reasoning that she is not serious enough for his political aspirations. Her sorority sisters encourage her to pursue him. After much effort, Elle scores a 179 on the Law School Admission Test. This score, combined with her 4.0 GPA, gain her admission to Harvard, where Warner has enrolled.Upon arriving at Harvard, Elle’s SoCal personality is in complete contrast to her East Coast classmates’ personalities, who refuse to take her seriously. She soon encounters Warner, but discovers he is engaged to another classmate, Vivian Kensington. Elle struggles to keep up with the reading and is unprepared for a lecture, which causes strict Professor Stromwell to berate her and force her out of the class. Elle meets Emmett, who gives her advice for handling each of her professors. Vivian invites Elle to a “costume party” and Elle arrives in a Playboy bunny suit, but the party is not actually a costume party. Elle tells Warner that she intends to apply for Professor Callahan’s prestigious internship, but Warner tells her that she is wasting her time. Elle realizes that Warner will never take her back and finds motivation to prove herself.After several months of dramatic improvement, Elle, along with Warner and Vivian, is given a surprise internship at Callahan’s law office. Callahan is defending a prominent fitness instructor named Brooke Windham, who is one of Elle’s role models. Accused of murdering her husband, Brooke is unwilling to produce an alibi (she later reveals to Elle that she was having liposuction). Enrique Salvatore, a pool cleaner and the prosecution’s main witness, says that he was having an affair with Brooke and that they were planning to run off with her husband’s money. Elle deduces that Enrique is gay, and Emmett (revealed to be Callahan’s junior partner) believes her and during cross-examination tricks Enrique into confessing his homosexuality. In spite of her victory, Elle quits the firm after Callahan attempts to seduce her. When Emmett explains how Callahan’s behavior caused Elle to quit her internship, Brooke fires Callahan and replaces him with Elle as her defense. Elle cross-examines Brooke’s step-daughter Chutney, forcing her to reveal that she had killed Brooke’s husband, though she had actually planned to kill Brooke because she hated that her father married someone her age.Chutney is taken into custody and Warner unsuccessfully attempts to convince Elle to take him back. Two years later, Elle gives the graduation speech at Harvard. Vivian is now her best friend, while Emmett has started his own firm. He and Elle have been dating since the trial and he plans to propose to her later that night.Yes, it is predictable and unbelievable but it does not pretend to be anything but an enjoyable hour and a half romp

REVIEW: CRUEL INTENTIONS

CAST

Sarah Michelle Gellar (Ringer)
Ryan Phillippe (Antitrust)
Reese Witherspoon (Devil’s Knot)
Selma Blair (Hellby)
Louise Fletcher (Star Trek: DS9)
Swoosie Kurtz (Mike & Molly)
Sean Patrick Thomas (Save The Last Dance)
Christine Baranski (The Big Bang Theory)
Joshua Jackson (Cursed)
Eric Mabius (Resident Evil)
Tara Reid (American Pie)
Charlie O’Connell (Sliders)
Herta Ware (Critters 2)

In an upscale New York City mansion, wealthy and popular teenager Kathryn Merteuil (Gellar) is discussing her prep school with Mrs. Caldwell (Christine Baranski) and Mrs. Caldwell’s daughter, Cecile (Blair). Kathryn promises Mrs. Caldwell that she will look out for the sheltered and naïve Cecile. Kathryn’s step-brother, Sebastian (Phillippe), enters the room, whereupon Mrs. Caldwell reacts to him coldly and leaves with Cecile. Kathryn reveals to him that her real intention is to use Cecile to take revenge on her ex-lover Court Reynolds (Charlie O’Connell), who has dumped her for Cecile. Kathryn asks Sebastian to seduce Cecile; he refuses as he is planning to seduce Annette Hargrove (Witherspoon), the virgin daughter of their prep school’s new headmaster. Annette is a ‘paradigm of chastity and virtue’ who recently wrote a published essay about saving herself for marriage and has been temporarily staying with Sebastian’s aunt. The two make a wager: if Sebastian fails to bed Annette, Kathryn gets Sebastian’s vintage Jaguar XK140; if he succeeds, Kathryn will have sex with him. It is mentioned that Sebastian keeps a journal detailing his conquests.Sebastian’s first attempt to seduce Annette fails, as she had already been told of his reputation as a womanizer. He vents to his friend, Blaine Tuttle (Joshua Jackson), who suggests that the informant might be Annette’s ex-boyfriend and closeted jock, Greg McConnell (Eric Mabius), revealing to Sebastian that Greg tried to make a pass at him. He uses that to seduce Greg while being secretly filmed by Sebastian. Sebastian confronts Greg with the photographs, but he denies warning Annette. Greg is pressured into investigating who did, and Sebastian also orders him to present him in a good light to Annette. Later, while gushing about Sebastian to Annette, Greg discovers that the culprit is Cecile’s mother, Mrs. Caldwell. Wanting revenge on the Caldwells, Sebastian agrees to seduce Cecile.Meanwhile, Cecile’s music teacher, Ronald Clifford (Sean Patrick Thomas), is in love with her. Cecile confesses this to Kathryn. Kathryn tells Mrs. Caldwell about Ronald and Cecile’s romance and Mrs. Caldwell orders Cecile to end it. Sebastian, in turn, calls Cecile to his house, ostensibly to give her a letter from Ronald. There he blackmails Cecile in order to perform oral sex on her. The next day, Cecile confides in Kathryn, who advises her to learn from Sebastian so that she can make Ronald happy in bed.Sebastian begins to fall in love with Annette, who returns his feelings but still resists him. Sebastian calls her a hypocrite because she claims to be waiting for her one true love, but when her one true love chooses to love her back, she resists. She relents, but Sebastian refuses her, confused about his feelings colliding with his stolid sexuality. Annette flees to the estate of her friend’s parents. Sebastian tracks her down, professes his love, and makes love to her. As he has won the bet, Kathryn offers herself to Sebastian the next day, but he refuses; he now only wants Annette. Kathryn tries kissing him, but he rejects her again saying that it’s only a stupid bet. She starts taunting him and he tells her he was planning on confessing the truth to Annette anyways. Kathryn warns him not to do it, that people don’t change overnight and that it would not only be destroying his reputation, but also hers.Afterwards, Sebastian full of remorse tells Annette he just wanted to see what she was like in bed. Heartbroken, Annette tells him to leave. He then goes to see Kathryn to fulfill the initial arrangement they had and tells her that he has broken up with Annette and arranged for Cecile and Ronald to be together. Kathryn reveals that she has known all along that he was truly in love with Annette and that it amused her to make him feel ashamed of it. She tells him he gave up on the first person he ever loved, all because she threatened his reputation. Sebastian desperately tries to get a hold of Annette to confess the truth and beg for her forgiveness. Kathryn calls Ronald, telling him that Sebastian slept with Cecile and lying to him that Sebastian hit her. Annette refuses to see or speak to Sebastian, so he leaves his journal for her to read. In which, he has detailed all of Kathryn’s manipulative schemes as well as their bet, and written his true feelings for Annette. As he heads home, Ronald intercepts him on the street, starting a fight. Annette runs out and tries to stop it, but is accidentally thrown into the way of traffic. Sebastian pushes her to safety, and is hit by a cab. Before dying, Sebastian confesses he loves her and Annette tells him she loves him too. Ronald realizes that Kathryn lied to him and used him to kill Sebastian.At Sebastian’s funeral, Cecile distributes copies of his journal, made into a book by Annette, titled Cruel Intentions. Kathryn is humiliated and rejected by her classmates and teachers. Her reputation is ruined when cocaine is discovered in her rosary. In the final scene, Annette drives away in Sebastian’s car with his journal at her side as she remembers the moments they shared.If you haven’t yet seen ‘Cruel Intentions’, I can only recommend you do so, as it has elements of everything that most audiences will enjoy. Ryan and Sarah Michelle excel as their nasty, manipulative characters, and the ending is very apt and satisfying.