REVIEW: X-MEN: FIRST CLASS

CAST
James McAvoy (Wanted)
Michael Fassbender (Prometheus)
Kevin Bacon (Friday the 13th)
Rose Byrne (Bridesmaids)
Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games)
Oliver Platt (2012)
Alex Gonzalez (Tierra de Lobos)
Jason Flemyng (Hanna)
Zoe Kravitz (Divergent)
January Jones (American Pie: The Wedding)
Nicholas Hoult (Mad Max: Fury Road)
Caleb Landry Jones (Contraband)
Edi Gathegi (Beauty and The Beast)
Lucas Til (Battle Los Angeles)
James Remar (Mortal Kombat 2)
Ray Wise (Robocop)
Brendan Fehr (Roswell)
Michael Ironside (Terminator Salvation)
Hugh Jackman (Real Steel)
Rebecca Romijn (Ugly Betty)
In 1944, in a German concentration camp in occupied Poland, Nazi scientist Dr. Klaus Schmidt witnesses a young Erik Lensherr bend a metal gate with his mind when the child is separated from his mother. In his office, Schmidt orders Lensherr to move a coin on his desk, and kills the boy’s mother when Lensherr cannot. In grief and anger, Lensherr’s magnetic power manifests, killing two guards and destroying the room. Meanwhile, at a mansion in Westchester County, New York, child telepath Charles Xavier meets young shapeshifter Raven, whose natural form is blue-skinned and scaly. Overjoyed to meet someone else “different”, he invites her to live with his family as his foster sister.
In 1962, Lensherr is tracking down Schmidt, while Xavier graduates from the University of Oxford with a thesis about mutation. In Las Vegas, CIA officer Moira MacTaggert follows U.S. Army Colonel Hendry into the Hellfire Club, where she sees Schmidt (now known as Sebastian Shaw), with mutant telepath Emma Frost, cyclone-producing Riptide, and teleporter Azazel. Threatened by Shaw and teleported by Azazel to the Joint War Room, Hendry advocates deployment of nuclear missiles in Turkey. Shaw, an energy-absorbing mutant, later kills Hendry.
MacTaggert, seeking Xavier’s advice on mutation, takes him and Raven to the CIA, where they convince Director McCone that mutants exist and Shaw is a threat. Another CIA officer sponsors the mutants and invites them to the secret “Division X” facility. MacTaggert and Xavier find Shaw as Lensherr is attacking him, and rescue Lensherr from drowning, while Shaw escapes. Xavier brings Lensherr to Division X, where they meet young scientist Hank McCoy, a mutant with prehensile feet, who believes Raven’s DNA may provide a “cure” for their appearance. Xavier uses McCoy’s mutant-locating device Cerebro to seek recruits against Shaw. Xavier and Lensherr recruit stripper Angel Salvadore, cabbie Armando Muñoz, Army prisoner Alex Summers, and a conceited Sean Cassidy. They all create nicknames, and Raven dubs herself “Mystique”.
When Frost meets with a Soviet general in the USSR, Xavier and Lensherr capture Frost and discover that Shaw intends to start World War III and trigger mutant ascendency. Azazel, Riptide and Shaw attack Division X, killing everyone but the mutants, whom Shaw invites to join him. Salvadore accepts; when Summers and Muñoz retaliate, Shaw kills Muñoz. Xavier takes the mutants to his family’s mansion for training. In Moscow, Shaw compels the general to have the USSR install missiles in Cuba. Wearing a helmet that blocks telepathy, Shaw follows the Soviet fleet in a submarine to ensure the missiles break a US blockade.
Raven, thinking McCoy likes her in her natural form, tells him not to use the cure. When she later attempts to seduce Lensherr by taking the forms of various women, Lensherr tells her she is beautiful in her blue mutant form. McCoy uses the cure on himself but it backfires, giving him blue fur and leonine aspects. With McCoy piloting, the mutants and MacTaggert take a jet to the blockade line, where Lensherr uses his magnetic power to lift Shaw’s submarine from the water and deposit it on land. During the ensuing battle, Lensherr seizes Shaw’s helmet, allowing Xavier to immobilize Shaw. Lensherr tells Shaw he shares Shaw’s exclusivist view of mutants but, to avenge his mother, kills Shaw—over Xavier’s objections—by forcing the Nazi coin from his childhood through Shaw’s brain.
Fearing the mutants, both fleets fire missiles at them, which Lensherr turns back in mid-flight. MacTaggert tries to stop Lensherr by shooting him but he deflects the bullets, one of which hits Xavier in the spine. Lensherr rushes to help Xavier and, distracted, allows the missiles to fall harmlessly into the ocean. Parting with Xavier over their differing views on the relationship between mutants and humans, Lensherr leaves with Salvadore, Azazel, Riptide and Mystique. Later, a wheelchair-bound Xavier and his mutants are at the mansion, where he intends to open a school. MacTaggert promises never to reveal his location and they kiss; later at a CIA debriefing, she says she has no memory of recent events. Elsewhere Lensherr, now calling himself “Magneto”, frees Frost from confinement.
X-Men: First Class” is a top notch film with a heck of a lot of plot packed into it’s 2 hour and 12 minute running time. Part of the success of the film certainly can be attributed to director Mathew Vaughn’s (who, interestingly, was originally to direct “X Men: The Last Stand” after Bryan Singer departed but before Brett Ratner stepped in) unique take on the material as well as Bryan Singer’s involvement again with the series.
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REVIEW: X-MEN: THE LAST STAND

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CAST

Patrick Stewart (American Dad)
Hugh Jackman (Swordfish)
Ian McKellen (The Hobbit)
Halle Berry (Catwoman)
Famke Janssen (The Faculty)
James Marsden (Westworld)
Rebecca Romijn (Ugly Betty)
Anna Paquin (true Blood)
Shawn Ashmore (Earthsea)
Aaron Stanford (The Hills Have Eyes)
Kelly Hu (Arrow)
Daniel Cudmore (Twilight: New Moon)
Kea Wong (Snow Day)
Kelsey Grammer (Frasier)
Vinnie Jones (Mean Machine)
Ellen Page (Juno)
Ben Foster (The Punisher)
Olivia Williams (Dollhouse)
R. Lee Emey (Full Metal Jacket)
Anthony Heald (The Silence of The Lambs)
Dania Ramierez (Heroes)
Michael Murphy (Batman Returns)
Shohreh Aghdashloo (The Adjustment Bureau)
Bill Duke (Bird on a Wire)
Eric Dane (Grey’s Anatomy)
Meiling Melançon (Rush Hour 2)
Ken Leung (Lost)
Cameron Bright (Godsend)
Stan Lee (Avengers Assemble)
Bryce Hodgson (Izombie)

Twenty years in the past, Professor Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr meet young Jean Grey at her parents’ house to invite her to join their school, the X-Mansion. Ten years later, the industrialist father of Warren Worthington III discovers his son is a mutant as Warren tries to cut off his wings.In the present, Worthington Labs announces it has developed an inoculation to suppress the X-gene that gives mutants their abilities, and offer the “cure” to any mutant who wants it. The cure is created from the genome of a young mutant named Jimmy, who lives at the Worthington facility on Alcatraz Island. While some mutants are interested in the cure, including the X-Men’s Rogue, many others are horrified by the announcement. Lehnsherr re-establishes his Brotherhood of Mutants with those who oppose the cure, warning his followers that the cure will be forcefully used to exterminate the mutant race.With help from Pyro, Lehnsherr recruits Callisto and several other mutants. They attack the mobile prison holding Mystique to free her, also freeing Juggernaut and Multiple Man. Mystique saves Lehnsherr by taking a shot of the mutant cure aimed at him, rendering her human. Hateful of humans, Lehnsherr abandons Mystique, much to her shock. Meanwhile, Scott Summers, still distraught over the loss of his fiancée, Jean Grey, drives to her resting location at Alkali Lake. Jean appears to Summers but, as the two kiss, Jean kills him. Sensing trouble, Xavier sends Logan and Storm to investigate. When they arrive, they find only telekinetically floating rocks, Summers’ glasses, and an unconscious Jean.When they return to the X-Mansion, Xavier explains to Logan that when Jean sacrificed herself, she also freed the “Phoenix”, a dark and powerful alternate personality which Xavier had telepathically repressed, fearing the Phoenix’s destructive potential. Logan is disgusted to learn of this psychic tampering with Jean’s mind but, once she awakens, he discovers that she killed Summers and is not the Jean Grey he once knew. The Phoenix emerges, knocks out Logan, and escapes to her childhood home.Lehnsherr learns of Jean’s resurrection through Callisto, and the X-Men arrive at the Grey home at the same time as the Brotherhood. Lehnsherr and Xavier go in alone, and both vie for Jean’s loyalty until the Phoenix resurfaces. She destroys the house and disintegrates Xavier before leaving with Lehnsherr. The Brotherhood decides to strike Worthington Labs, and the government sends multiple teams to attack the Brotherhood’s base in the forest, with information gained from Mystique, furious over Lehnsherr’s betrayal. However, the life forms in the camp are all copies of Multiple Man, and Lehnsherr uses his powers to move the Golden Gate Bridge so he and his army can get to Alcatraz and facilitate the attack on Worthington Labs. The remaining X-Men confront the Brotherhood, despite being significantly outnumbered, and arrive just as the military troops who thus far have been neutralizing the attacking mutants are overwhelmed by the Brotherhood.During the fight, Kitty Pryde saves Jimmy from Juggernaut, who had been sent to kill him. Logan has Colossus throw him at Lehnsherr and distract him long enough for Hank McCoy to inject Lehnsherr with the “cure” and thus nullify his powers. Army reinforcements arrive and shoot at Jean just as Logan had calmed her down. The Phoenix is awakened by the attack and disintegrates the troops in retaliation. The Phoenix then begins to destroy Alcatraz and anyone within range of her powers. Logan realizes that only he can stop the Phoenix due to his healing factor. When Logan approaches her, Jean momentarily gains control and begs him to save her. Logan fatally stabs Jean, destroying the Phoenix, but mourns for her death.Sometime later, mutant rights are finally obtained and Xavier’s school is still operating with Storm as headmistress. The President of the United States appoints McCoy as ambassador to the United Nations. Rogue reveals to Bobby Drake that she has taken the cure, much to his disappointment. Meanwhile, Lehnsherr sits alone at a chessboard in a San Francisco park. As he gestures toward a metal chess piece, it wobbles slightly, indicating his powers to be returning and the “cure” to be temporary. In a post-credits scene, Moira MacTaggert checks on a comatose patient who greets her with Xavier’s voice, leaving her startled.Not the greatest of the X-Men films, but not too bad nonetheless. I enjoyed it, some of the action set pieces are very impressive.

REVIEW: X-MEN 2

 

CAST

Patrick Stewart (American Dad)
Hugh Jackman (Swordfish)
Ian McKellen (The Hobbit)
Halle Berry (Catwoman)
Famke Janssen (The Faculty)
James Marsden (Westworld)
Bruce Davison (High Crimes)
Rebecca Romijn (Ugly Betty)
Anna Paquin (true Blood)
Shawn Ashmore (Earthsea)
Brian Cox (Troy)
Alan Cumming (Tin Man)
Aaron Stanford (The Hills Have Eyes)
Kelly Hu (Arrow)
Daniel Cudmore (Twilight: New Moon)
Peter Wingfield (Highlander: The Series)
Steve Bacic (Androemda)
Bryce Hodgson (Izombie)
Roger Cross (Arrow)
Kea Wong (Snow Day)

At the White House, brainwashed teleporting mutant Nightcrawler attempts to assassinate the President of the United States but fails and escapes. Meanwhile, Wolverine explores an abandoned military installation at Alkali Lake in Alberta for clues to his past, but finds nothing. He returns to Professor Xavier’s school for mutants, and Xavier tracks Nightcrawler using Cerebro. Xavier and Cyclops go to question the imprisoned Magneto about the attack, while X-Men Storm and Jean Grey retrieve Nightcrawler. Meanwhile, military scientist Colonel William Stryker approaches the president and receives approval to investigate Xavier’s mansion for their ties to mutants. Stryker’s forces invade the school and abduct some of the students. Colossus leads the remaining students to safety while Wolverine, Rogue, Iceman, and Pyro escape, and Stryker’s assistant Yuriko Oyama captures Cyclops and Xavier. During the attack Wolverine confronts Stryker, who knows him by name.untitledThe shape-shifting Mystique gains information about Magneto’s prison and helps him escape while also discovering schematics for a second Cerebro. Wolverine, Rogue, Iceman, and Pyro visit Iceman’s parents in Boston and meet up with Storm, Jean, and Nightcrawler. The X-Jet is attacked by fighter jets en route back to the mansion and is shot down, but Magneto saves them from crashing. Magneto explains to the group that Stryker has built the second Cerebro to use it, and Xavier, to telepathically kill every mutant on the planet. Stryker’s son, Jason, is a mutant with mind-controlling powers, which Stryker will use to force Xavier to do this. Stryker had also previously used Jason’s powers to orchestrate Nightcrawler’s attack as a pretense to gain approval to invade Xavier’s mansion. Magneto also tells Wolverine that Stryker was the man who grafted his adamantium skeleton onto his bones. Jean reads Nightcrawler’s mind and determines that Stryker’s base is underground in a dam at Alkali Lake.vlcsnap-2011-10-19-18h17m54s214The mutants infiltrate Stryker’s base and Magneto and Mystique go to disable Cerebro before the brainwashed Xavier can activate it. Storm and Nightcrawler rescue the captured students, and Jean fights a mind-controlled Cyclops; their battle frees Cyclops but damages the dam, which begins to rupture. Wolverine finds Stryker in an adamantium smelting lab and remembers it as where he received his adamantium skeleton. Wolverine fights and kills Yuriko, then chases Stryker to a helicopter pad and chains him to the helicopter’s wheel. Magneto stops Cerebro and, using Mystique impersonating Stryker to command Jason, has Xavier redirect its powers on normal humans. The two subsequently use Stryker’s helicopter to escape, accompanied by Pyro who has been swayed to Magneto’s views. Nightcrawler teleports Storm inside Cerebro, where she creates a snowstorm to break Jason’s concentration and free Xavier from his control.jjojoljljmThe X-Men flee the dam as water engulfs it, but the damaged X-Jet struggles to take flight. Stryker is killed in the deluge and Jean sacrifices herself to hold back the flood of water while getting the jet into the air, and is then consumed by the flood and presumed dead. The X-Men give the president Stryker’s files, and Xavier warns him that humans and mutants must work together to build peace. Back at the school, Xavier, Cyclops, and Wolverine remember Jean, and Xavier begins to hold a class. The film ends with a voice-over narration from Jean accompanied by the flooded Alkali Lake, a fiery Phoenix-like shape rising from the water.X Men 2 was very much as good, if not better, as the first. Bryan Singer seemed much more comfortable with the original characters who’s background were developed in the first film and the addition of Nightcrawler was a particular hit who allied with the good guys made a formidable team.

REVIEW: X-MEN

 

CAST

Patrick Stewart (American Dad)
Hugh Jackman (Swordfish)
Ian McKellen (The Hobbit)
Halle Berry (Catwoman)
Famke Janssen (The Faculty)
James Marsden (Westworld)
Bruce Davison (High Crimes)
Rebecca Romijn (Ugly Betty)
Ray Park (Star Wars – Episode I)
Tyler Mane (halloween)
Anna Paquin (true Blood)
Shawn Ashmore (Earthsea)
Stan Lee (Avengers Assemble)
George Buza (Mutant X)
Shawn Roberts (Resident Evil: The FInal Chapter)

In Nazi-occupied Poland, 14-year-old Erik Lehnsherr is separated from his parents upon entering the Auschwitz concentration camp. While trying to reach them, he causes a set of metal gates to bend towards him before being knocked out by guards. In 2002, U.S. Senator Robert Kelly attempts to pass a “Mutant Registration Act” in Congress, which would force mutants to publicly reveal their identities and abilities. Present are a middle-aged Lehnsherr, now going by the name “Magneto”, and an old friend of his, the telepathic Professor Charles Xavier. Seeing Lehnsherr in attendance, Xavier becomes concerned with how he will respond to the Registration Act.Meanwhile, in Meridian, Mississippi, 17-year-old Marie D’Ancanto accidentally puts her boyfriend into a coma upon kissing him, her mutant ability to absorb the powers and life force of others manifesting. She runs away from home and adopts the name Rogue. In Alberta she meets a mutant named Logan, also known as Wolverine, who possesses superhuman healing abilities and metal claws that protrude from his knuckles. While on the road together, they are attacked by a minion of Magneto’s, Sabretooth, until two of Xavier’s students, Cyclops and Storm, arrive to successfully save them. Wolverine and Rogue are brought to Xavier’s mansion and school for mutants in Westchester County, New York. Xavier tells Logan that Magneto appears to have taken an interest in Wolverine, and he asks him to stay while Xavier’s mutants, the X-Men, investigate why. Rogue meanwhile enrolls in the school.Senator Kelly is abducted by two more of Magneto’s minions, Toad and Mystique, and is brought to their hideout on the uncharted island of Genosha. There, Magneto uses Kelly as a test subject for a machine powered by his magnetic abilities that generates a field of radiation, inducing mutation in normal humans. Kelly later escapes by taking advantage of his newfound mutation. When Rogue uses her power on Wolverine in view of her classmates, she is convinced by Mystique, disguised as classmate Bobby Drake, that Xavier is angry with her and she should leave the school. Xavier uses his mutant-locating machine Cerebro to find Rogue at a train station, and the X-Men go to retrieve her. Meanwhile, Mystique enters Cerebro and sabotages it.Having left ahead of Storm and Cyclops, Wolverine finds Rogue on a train and convinces her to return to the school. Before they can leave however, Magneto arrives and reveals that he is after Rogue rather than Wolverine. Although Xavier attempts to stop Magneto by metally controlling Sabretooth, he is forced to release his hold on Sabretooth when Magneto threatens the police who have converged on the train station, allowing Magneto’s Brotherhood to escape with Rogue. Kelly arrives at Xavier’s school and Xavier reads his mind to learn about Magneto’s machine. Realizing the strain of powering it nearly killed Magneto, the group deduces he intends to transfer his powers to Rogue and use her to power it at the cost of her life. Kelly’s body rejects his mutation and his body dissolves into liquid. Xavier attempts to locate Rogue using Cerebro, but Mystique’s sabotage incapacitates him and he falls into a coma. Fellow telekinetic/telepath Jean Grey fixes Cerebro and uses it, learning that Magneto plans to place his mutation-inducing machine on Liberty Island and use it to “mutate” the world leaders meeting at a summit on nearby Ellis Island. The X-Men scale the Statue of Liberty battling the Brotherhood while Magneto transfers his powers to Rogue and activates the mutating machine. As Wolverine confronts and distracts Magneto, Cyclops blasts him away, allowing Wolverine to destroy the machine. He transfers his powers to Rogue and his healing abilities rejuvenate her, while incapacitating himself.Professor Xavier and Wolverine recover from their comas. The group also learn that Mystique escaped the island battle and is impersonating Senator Kelly. Xavier gives Wolverine a lead to his past at an abandoned military installation in Canada. Magneto is imprisoned in a complex constructed of plastic and is visited by Xavier, and warns him he intends to escape one day and continue the fight.This is an extremely intelligent and well thought out movie. If you are a fan of the X-Men, there is no way you can miss out on this

REVIEW: GODSEND

CAST

Greg Kinnear (Mystery Men)
Rebecca Romijn (X-Men)
Robert De Niro (Joy)
Cameron Bright (Juno)
Deborah Odell (Mutant X)
Chris Britton (Silent Hill)

Paul and Jessie Duncan (Greg Kinnear and Rebecca Romijn) are a happily married couple who have an eight-year-old son named Adam (Cameron Bright). The day after his eighth birthday, when fetching a basketball he was given into the street, Adam is killed in a collision. While leaving a church, Jessie and Paul are confronted by Dr. Richard Wells (Robert De Niro), an old professor of Jessie’s. He offers to clone Adam, an illegal procedure which would require a change of location and identity, to which the Duncans reluctantly agree. Everything appears to be fine with the new Adam until he reaches his eighth birthday. That night, he experiences a violent nightmare. Richard explains to Paul that it is typical for boys his age to have night terrors, and that it is not serious. He explains that because Adam II has reached the age at which the original Adam died, his life cannot be predicted anymore. From that moment on, Adam II continues to have night terrors until they become visions and he starts having them when he’s wide awake, losing control of his actions.
Adam’s visions are recurrent: he witnesses a boy named Zachary (Devon Bostick) walking around in a school building while being laughed at by other children. These images alternate with images of the school burning, and children screaming, and the image of an unidentified woman being attacked and killed with a hammer. Adam’s visions affect his daytime personality, making him bitter, delinquent, and uncooperative, especially so to a child that goes to his school and bullies him. One night at dinner, Jessie receives a telephone call from the parent of that child, distressed that her child is missing. Jessie tells Paul, who then asks what Adam was doing that day. Adam says that he was at the river playing. When Paul asks who he was playing with, Adam responds that he’s “not supposed to say”. The next day, as the Duncans are driving on their way home over a bridge, they are slowed by a police officer. They walk to the side of the bridge to see the woman who had telephoned about her missing child the previous night, screaming at the sight of her son being retrieved by paramedics from a river where he had drowned. Paul believes Adam was involved with the child’s death.
By examining Adam and talking to him about his visions, with the help of Richard, Paul finally finds out that the school in Adam’s visions is called Saint Pius and that Zachary’s last name is Clark. With this information, he is able to track down the child’s address and find a former nanny of Zachary. The nanny informs Paul that Zachary was deeply disturbed. He was bullied at school tremendously, and in wake of his emotions, he set fire to the school. When he returned home, Zachary killed his mother with a hammer before setting fire to their house, and burning the two of them together. When he asks the nanny, Paul learns that the father of this child, Zachary Clark, was a geneticist—enough information to uncover that this man was none other than Richard Wells himself, living now under a false identity. Through the operation to clone Adam, Richard had secretly mixed Adam’s DNA with that of Zachary (as the fire damaged Zachary’s DNA to where it could not be cloned without the assistance of other living cells) with the hope of bringing his own son back to life, rather than Adam, and then stealing him. The operation did not yield a complete success. After arguing with Richard and learning what has caused Adam’s erratic behavior, Paul races home and finds Adam and Jessie in the shed in the woods, arriving just in the nick of time to stop Adam (with Zachary’s personality in control) from killing Jessie with a hammer, in nearly the same way as Zachary had killed his mother. Adam’s personality manages to regain control and everything seems to be okay.
In an attempt to shake the psychological transitions from Adam to Zachary, the Duncans escape from Richard and move to a different neighborhood. All seems well; Adam is friendly and happy, but as he is left alone in his room, Adam hears a noise in the closet. When he opens it, a slightly burnt and decayed arm, wearing the jersey that Zachary always did in the vision, reaches out from the darkness of the closet and pulls him in. Paul comes back to check on him, looks in the closet, and doesn’t see anybody. Adam appears from behind and touches him, shocking him, indicating that Zachary has regained control.Godsend is one of the few cases where copious DVD extras may have hurt the film more than helped. The DVD contains four alternate endings, averaging about 12 minutes long each. These occasionally deviate strongly from the theatrical ending, but none seem quite satisfying (all of the more nihilistic endings that Hamm described on his commentary but which apparently weren’t shot would have done the trick for me; I also liked the filmed tag suggesting a sequel). They all tend to drag on, an impression that isn’t helped by the lack of a score and a sound effects soundtrack. Also curious, given Hamm’s dislike of the fantasy aspects of genre films, is the fact that the crux of the “twist” in Godsend is extremely loopy. What’s happening with Adam makes little sense from a realistic/scientific standpoint, and how it happened just isn’t possible. Of course, I’m not averse to fantasy, and I don’t subtract points for elements in film that are wildly divergent from our beliefs and understanding of the actual world. But if Hamm is going to abandon realism when it comes to important plot points, why not abandon it wholesale, so that we can maybe see a film that deserves an A instead?

12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: UGLY BETTY: THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES

CAST
America Ferrera (Real Women Have Curves)
Eric Mabius (Resident Evil)
Alan Dale (Lost)
Tony PLana (Vampire Bats)
Ana Ortiz (Devious Maids)
Ashley Jensen (Arthur Christmas)
Becki Newton (American Dad)
Mark Indelicato (White Bird In a Blizzard)
Vanessa Williams (Eraser)
Michael Urie (Uptown Girl)
Judith Light (Dallas)
Christopher Gorham (Odyssey 5)
Rebecca Romijn (X-Men)
FAKE PLASTIC SNOW
GUEST CAST
Salma Hayek (Dogma)
Kevin Sussman (The Big Bang Theory)
Brett Cullen (Ghiost Rider)
Ava Gaudet (Evil Angel)
Betty is at her desk working on an expense report for Daniel when Henry comes by and asks her if she’s making her Christmas list. He spots mistletoe on her desk. She says it’s just holly, but he kisses her anyway and tells her she’s the girl he’s been looking for. But it looks like this was all a fantasy as Betty wakes up in a shock from this dream and glares at the photo of Walter by her bed before throwing the sheets over her face. Back at Daniel’s place, Sofia wakes up beside Daniel. Worried that she will miss her flight, she says that they need a breather so they can see if what they have is real. He insists that he loves her but Sofia says it’s just hormones and sex. If this is real, he should see other women while she’s gone. If he doesn’t get sweaty palms with them, maybe he does love her. He says that this is crazy but she tells him that this will convince her that he really feels this only for her. Back at the Suarezes, Betty tells Hilda her dream, but Hilda tells her that dreams don’t mean anything and tells her sister should just avoid Henry and everything will be fine. Meanwhile Ignacio, who was arrested by Immigration a few days ago but was let go, comes down and Betty gives him his pills. He has a caseworker coming to work with him next month. Hilda gets in a fight with their neighbor Gina after she runs over her Christmas tree while it’s sitting in the street.
Meanwhile, in Wilhelmina’s office, Marc, in the wake of him now knowing the truth of his boss’ intentions, is bringing Wilhelmina her breakfast and asking if Nico is coming home. He lithely snatches her whole wheat bagel causing her to almost bite his head off before he reminds her that they’re ‘sharing things’ now that he knows her little secret. Over at an office meeting in the conference room, Daniel announces that Betty has been offered a job and she will be accepting resumes for her position. The news brings a round of applause for Miss Suarez. Amanda and Marc wonder if they need to invite her to her own leaving party. Betty is surprised he’s announced this, but he says that her going to work with Sofia is what’s best for her. Amanda is already confident that she’s the best one to take the job. Daniel then takes Betty into his office to tell her that Sofia wants him to have an affair while she’s away. He’s through with being a bachelor and places half a dozen rings across his desk to try to pick out which will be perfect. After leaving Daniel’s office, Betty goes to her desk and opens a gift waiting for her, which turns out to be a notebook. She assumes this is from Daniel and gives him the thumbs up but he doesn’t know what she’s doing, since it didn’t come from him. She walks down the hall to Amanda who tells her flatly that she is the right person to replace her and she’ll prove it: She’ll help Betty plan the Christmas party. Betty reluctantly accepts the offer. A bundle of fake snow arrives and Betty walks it into Henry, spilling it all over both of them. He tries to pull some out of her hair but feel bashful. He then makes a series of unintentional double entendres while Betty tries to hide her excitement when he tells her that he will be ‘on top of her’ for the next few days overseeing the party budget.
Meanwhile, half a dozen lingerie models arrive to pose the new collection for Daniel. They include the first supermodel he was ever with, Aerin. Betty leaves to try to sort through resumes before she rushes in again to stop Daniel from easy temptation and announces that the photographer is ready for the models. Across town later that day, Betty and Walter are at the Christmas party for the store where he works. They have their photo taken with Walter’s boss and his wife. The wife of Walter’s boss tells her that she used to work in Manhattan too, but they’re Queens’ girls and this is where they belong. Betty stares at Walter and his boss with a less than enthusiastic feeling. Betty asks the woman when she knew that her husband was the one. She just knew; when did Betty know Walter was? She’s not sure yet. Upset that Marc wants in on her secret, Wilhelmina gets a call from her mysterious friend who’s concerned about having Marc silenced. Wilhelmina states that he will be permanently silenced very soon. She adjusts the Christmas tree ornaments and walks out revealing Marc hiding behind the tree. He’s terrified and takes a breath of his inhaler. In another part of the MODE building, it’s late in the office and Amanda is still there, rummaging through Daniel’s desk and trying on the rings he bought for Sofia. Her feelings for Daniel aren’t exactly as simple as she wishes they were. One ring gets stuck on her finger. Also later on in another location at the Meade Building, Bradford is being visited by Mr. Greene. He’s managed to find proof that Fey Sommers is really dead after visiting the coroner at the cemetery, which leads to new questions over who the mystery woman really is, now that a relative has claimed Fey’s remains.
The following morning, a worried Marc brings Wilhelmina her whole wheat. She asks him for his home address; she’s sending a special delivery his way. He panics and takes another hit off his inhaler. Amanda updates Betty on all the elaborate party preparations that she’s done. Betty says she appreciates the help, but it doesn’t erase her history with Daniel; she’s not right for the job. Betty goes to her desk when Henry appears with ornaments. She tries to ignore him, but he tells her that he never saw snow until he moved to New York and she’s so charmed that she can’t stop staring at him. They begin to chat and she starts to fantasize about him before freezing up and telling him she has to get back to work. Betty is pushing ornaments into Amanda’s arms when she sees one of Daniel’s rings on her fingers. Betty chases her around the office before they try to get it off together. Betty spits on an appalled Amanda’s finger and starts to pull while she tells her that she doesn’t feel anything for Daniel anymore. Betty falls over pulling and Amanda walks off. Marc arrives at the party. At first, he’s stuck in an elevator with a man who seems to be a hitman. He rushes past him and asks Amanda if she has a gun. Amanda says that no one would sell guns to anyone at the party. Marc rushes off to hide from the wrath of Wilhelmina and Amanda goes to stand by Betty to pester her about the job. Betty thinks that Daniel needs someone who can look after him. Amanda says that she’ll run interference between Daniel and the models just to prove that she can fill Betty’s shoes. After glancing at Betty’s clogs, she takes a swig and stomps off. Betty is left alone while Henry stands across the room flirting with her. Christina is drunk on Santa’s lap and slurs out a wish list of presents for her co-workers, “A heart for Wilhelmina, courage for Marc and brains for Amanda.” Marc runs by while Betty moves around the room and under desks while trying to hide from Henry. She bangs her head and her painful yelp brings her to Henry’s attention. He helps her up with a string of condoms in her hand but he was only there for a corkscrew. Christina walks by them dragging Santa into the bathroom as an appalled Marc runs out. Wilhelmina and the ‘hitman’ spot him and call him into her office. They take Marc to the parking garage and, just when he thinks they’re going to kill him, they flip on a light to reveal a Hummer, delivered to him by the ‘hitman’, who happens to be an auto dealer. He’s relieved to see that they’re just trying to buy his silence.
Daniel goes into his office followed by Erin, who starts making out with him. Amanda promptly interrupts and reminds him that he’s supposed to be engaged. Daniel agrees, telling Erin that he’s in love with someone else. When Erin thinks it’s Amanda, she suggests a threesome (and possibly a ménage à trois), but Daniel explains that’s not what he meant. Erin then leaves. Afterwards, Betty tells Daniel that the only person she’s seen that she could leave to look after him is Amanda. If he’s serious about her going, this is goodbye. He gives her a silver business card holder and tells her that he’s proud of her; she’s destined for bigger things. She hugs him and tries not to cry. Before she leaves, she asks him if the other gifts she’s been receiving were from him. They weren’t. Daniel calls Sofia to tell her that he loves her and his heart doesn’t race for anyone else. Betty walks out to her desk and looks at Henry. They exchange waves before someone walks by and kisses him but he pushes her away. Betty is crushed at the sight and rushes away to the elevator while he runs after her. The ring falls off Amanda’s finger. Back in Queens, Hilda is going through Justin’s gift list when they look out the window and see Gina obscenely defaming their Christmas lawn ornaments. By evening, she returns with a decapitated glowing reindeer and the lights go out. Hilda walks out to find Gina collapsed on the porch. They’ve been competing since they were teenagers and Gina always loses. After Gina admits that her parents are away and she is spending Christmas alone, Hilda takes pity and invites her in for eggnog and brandy. It looks like they buried the hatchet for now.  Later on at MODE, Amanda is trying to clear up after the party. Daniel tells her that Betty thinks she should be his new assistant, but can she do it? They promise to be professionals. Meanwhile, Ted the Texan walks in on Wilhelmina as she’s about to leave and her heart starts to race. Betty gets home and wonders if she’s doing what’s best with her life. She shows Hilda the photo of her with Walter. Hilda says that she should appreciate Walter more. Within moments, Walter arrives with her last present; it was him who was using Daniel to sneak her presents at work. Henry calls but Hilda tells him that Betty is busy and throws away the message that he leaves with her. Walter tells Betty that he’s trying to understand her life in Manhattan, but she feels cold and it becomes clear to her that she doesn’t love him.
Image result for ugly betty fake plastic snowA Great first Christmas for Betty and the gang, Daniel trying to prove that he is in love Sofia was a great story and Amanda looking out for him  was a nice touch. The Henry and Betty scenario was sweet too.
GIVING UP THE GHOST
GUEST CAST
Eliza Dushku (Tru Calling)
Ileana Douglas (Ghost World)
Max Greenfield (New Girl)
Ron Canada (Wedding Crashers)
The story begins at the Suarez home, where Betty is sitting down at 2AM eating empanadas. As she goes to get the milk from the refrigerator, she is spooked by seeing the head of Bradford Meade inside. After she closes the door, Bradford is standing behind her and tells her that he is her subconscious and that he asks her why she turned down Daniel’s offer to return to work. Betty tells him that she doesn’t think she’s ready to return. He then disappears after he tells her to think about what Bradford told her before he died. The following day at the burial of Bradford at the cemetery, Claire is allowed to attend but arrives wearing an orange prison jumpsuit and is in shackles. Amanda ponders about whether she would be next in line to take over at the company, but Sheila, who arrived late and hears this exchange, tells her that two years as a receptionist doesn’t qualify. As Betty is delivering a eulogy, Wilhehima and Marc show up, hoping to make her last remarks. After Wilhelmina comments about Claire’s uniform, Claire trips Wilhelmina, causing her to fall into Bradford’s empty grave. Wilhelmina is fired by unanimous decision of Claire, Daniel, and Alexis.
Fumed by her termination from the company, Wilhelmina returns to her office at MODE to remove her belongings but before she goes, she deploys a computer virus called “Medusa X”, featuring a motif similar to the Versace logo, but with Wilhelmina’s head replacing Medusa, that removes all files pertaining to the upcoming issue. When Henry notices the virus in his office, he calls Betty, who was helping the family plan their annual Christmas tree decorations at home, to inform her about what happened. As she leaves, she gives directions to Hilda, Justin and Ignacio on how it’s normally decorated, although Hilda and Justin think that they should make changes to the tradition. Daniel and Betty lead the effort to resurrect the issue with an all nighter work session. Betty says she is back just for the night. But before they can start on the emergency issue, Wilhelmina and Marc interrupt this work session to announce their new magazine: SLATER and recruit many MODE staff. Wilhelmina also made her feelings known about Daniel and Alexis, prompting Alexis and Betty to try to contain their desire to knock her out. As Wilhelmina leaves, Marc tempted Amanda to defect, but she turns him down, thus ending their partnership. Among the all-night chaos, Daniel placed Sheila in charge and in turn finds replacements to do new articles, with Henry being tasked with writing a food column and Amanda volunteering to write the “Hot or Not” section. Unfortunately Sheila is not happy about having Amanda on the team, even as she sees the receptionist eating at her desk and not giving her an article. When Amanda sees a pizza delivery guy’s uniform, she finally comes up with one, but as she shows off her design, Sheila walks up to her and tells her that she actually knew, worked and “made out” with Fey Sommers, and that Amanda is “No Fey Sommers,” and scraps Amanda’s article. At the love dungeon, a distressed Amanda tells Christina that she hopes that when she finds her father, maybe she’ll know what type of talent that she might actually have.
Meanwhile at the Suarez home, the family decoration plans start to go awry when Hilda trips on a string of Christmas tree lights knocking the tree over and starting a small fire. As Betty is scrambling to help Daniel at work, she calls her Hilda about its progress until she figured out what has happened after hearing Justin and Ignacio in the background. Alexis decided to take upon the task of getting the printers to extend the hours, but as she goes to the printer’s office in an effort to charm him, she discovers that he has left the business to a dwarf-like successor, Harvey Milfree. After the two bicker and bluff all night, they end up discussing how both are ‘different’ and how their fathers treated them. Once the conversation is over, Harvey agrees to keep the presses open, much to the delight of Alexis.
The deleted issue also erased the cover spread featuring Cameron Ashlock, a famous actress and singer who has been making a lot of headlines. When Daniel decides that he is going to break her out of rehab, Betty tags along. At the centre where Cameron is staying, the two find her among candles and chanting and after much persuasion, they succeed in convincing her to do a reshoot. Unfortunately, that doesn’t go well as planned as Cameron goes ballistic on the set after Daniel told Betty the only way to do it is by giving her alcohol, which Betty thought was a bad idea. As Cameron is escorted off the shoot, Betty learned that Daniel never gave Cameron a drink, which is how she lost control in the first place. Daniel told Betty he couldn’t do it. Unable to reshoot the cover, Daniel opts for a solid black cover in tribute of the late Bradford Meade with an “In Remembrance of Bradford Meade” theme. Betty and the staff are impressed with this cover as a way to honour the late publisher. Betty then tells Daniel that she will return to MODE permanently, and as Daniel walks away, she sees the spirit of Bradford for one last time by sending him to his final “resting place.” Later, at Wilhelmina’s apartment, she tells the defected MODE staff that she will have the new magazine up and running soon. After they leave, Wilhelmina meets with her father, Senator Slater, to ask for a loan to get her new magazine established. He refuses, saying that the daughter he once knew and loved as Wanda has changed into someone else. After he leaves, Wilhelmina and Marc ponder other options on how to get the financial backing. Finally, knowing that Christmas is a time for family, Betty buys a pink artificial tree to replace the burned up one. As they finally decorate the new tree Ignacio places the angel on top as a remembrance of his late wife.
A great episode and a great way to bring back Alan Dale’s character despite being killed off in the previous episode. It’s also good to see Betty trying to stay the person she has always been and worrying about the woman she may become if she stays at mode. Having Betty being able to help save the magazine shows how much she has grown. We also get to see Wilhelmina go all super villain which is just scary and brilliant at the same time.
BE-SHURE
GUEST CAST
Daniel Eric Gold (War of The Worlds)
Grant Bowler (Lost)
David Rasche (Burn After Reading)
Ralph Macchio (The Karate Kid)
The story begins with the family getting ready for breakfast with Ignacio making potato latkes. Ignacio announces that he has invited his new girlfriend, Jean, over for a multi-culti Christmas–Hanukkah dinner. As Betty leaves, Bobby stops by, which upsets Hilda, even though Bobby was there to pick up Justin, while Ignacio holds up a Cabbage Patch Doll to show Bobby, who believes took a display of the baby Jesus 14 years earlier, which Bobby denied. After she leaves, Betty starts to feel queasy as does Hilda later on while she and Archie were visiting Macy’s to drop a letter to support the Make-A-Wish Foundation. On Fashion TV, Suzuki reports on Wilhelmina in jumpsuits and Connor in jail. Claire and Daniel discuss hiring a new creative director despite the disagreements over Calvin running the company and Daniel being blamed for hiring Connor, while Marc is suffering from “Stockholm Syndrome”, due to Wilhelmina no longer with the company. Cal later stops by to introduce Daniel their new creative director, a clueless Hollywood mogul named Denise Ludwig, whom Daniel is not happy about and when he tries to reason with Cal as to why he was not consulted, Cal reminded him about who was running the company and it wasn’t Daniel.
919NuAZvl-L._SL1500_As Daniel prays that Connor rots in prison, it looks like Connor and Wilhelmina are getting hot and heavy behind bars, as Wilhelmina have been secretly been making surprise visits daily for the past two weeks, as they hope that as soon as they get the money back Wilhelmina will be back at Mode. When Wilhelmina returns to reclaim her job, Daniel tells her that it was filled. Wilhelmina then leaves, but prior to her visit, Marc suggests to Daniel, who wanted to get even with Cal by recovering the money, by enlisting Wilhelmina in an effort to get the money back. Hours later back at prison, Wilhelmina and Connor are interrupted by a phone call from Daniel. Connor goes to answer Daniel on the other end but Connor refuses to spill the beans and blames him for taking Molly and making Wilhelmina choose between him and the company, saying that he knows where the money is. However this was all planned, as Wilhelmina and Connor set up a scheme in an effort to get the Hartleys out of the company. This also sets up a scheme for Daniel to get the company back in family control, as Marc suggests to Daniel that Wilhelmina might be useful in retrieving the money from Connor. As they went to Wilhelmina’s place, the two agree to get the money back, on the condition that Wilhelmina gets a 50% stake in Meade Publications and non-veto power and that Daniel does not consult Claire. The two agree. In between the meelee, Marc begins to reminisce about Wilhelmina with Amanda, as they looked at Wilhelmina’s empty office and sees her empty chair, which he used to inject Botox into his former boss. Hours later, a deliveryman arrives to give Marc the Botox chair as a gift. Amanda later reaches Claire to tell her that a plane is ready for her flight to Rapid City, South Dakota to see her son Tyler. In Rapid City, Claire arrives at a bar and sees a bartender, who happens to be Tyler, after she asks him for a beer as a way to get to know more about him. As Tyler talks about his life, Claire listens to him, seeing that he has done well for himself and realizes that he has turned out pretty well. Claire then thanks Tyler for having a great conversation and leaves him a 2,000-dollar tip. As Claire leaves, she informs Amanda and tells her that she doesn’t want Tyler to know anything about her. However, as Tyler went to pick up his tip, he is stunned by the large cash that was left for him and sees an envelope that has Claire’s name and address on it.
As they avoid Amanda, who seem to have jumped on the jumpsuit trend thanks to Wili, Betty and Matt talk about the get-together at the Suarezes, then comment on Betty’s glow as she visualizes a future with Matt as Mrs. Suarez-Hartley. During the entire day, Betty still feels queasy and as she arrives to the bus stop, a waiting passenger notices Betty and gives her a seat because he thought that Betty looked like she was expecting and as the flashbacks come into the picture, her vision of her future changed completely as she sees a mirror image of herself as a pregnant woman. At the drug store, Betty asks for the Be-Shure pregnancy test kit from a pharmacist named Jean, without mentioning the name. Unfortunately, Hilda also shows up asking Jean for the same kit, but the siblings don’t see each other even though the two do see Ignacio shopping and try their best to avoid him like the plague. Back at home Betty and Hilda arrive to help Ignacio, while at the same time they separately head to the bathroom to pee so they can see if they are expecting. During the ensuing chaos, both try to keep each other and Ignacio from finding out as they fight for bathroom time. When Ignacio heads upstairs to ask for a band-aid, the sisters panicked as they were hiding something, and after he left the two separately discover a positive on their sticks thanks to a mix-up with their kits and both believed that they might be pregnant. But just as the two try to keep quiet about their double pregnancy, Ignacio welcomes a surprise guest – his Jewish girlfriend Jean, the pharmacist from the drugstore that gave the women the pregnancy test, but doesn’t recognize either of them. And to make matter worse, Archie and Matt also arrives, as does Bobby, who returns the baby Jesus and admits to Ignacio that he stole it.During the entire evening as Jean talked about her Jewish family members and being welcomed into a Christian family setting, the sisters try to keep their cool about the results and as they went back to the bathroom they saw the two sticks, but one turned up positive and the other negative. Betty believes that Hilda might be the one who is carrying but the two are not so sure and as Matt walks in on the two he sees Betty with the stick and is led to believe that Betty is the one with child. Betty tells Matt that she is not ready but Matt stuns Betty by saying he is ready. That’s when the two decide to retest to be sure, so Matt heads to the store. Later that evening, everyone gathers to see the lighting of the Nativity on the lawn. Ignacio invites everyone, including Bobby, back in the house, and when Jean prepares to light the menorah the chaos continued until a box of Be-Shure fell onto the floor, as does Jean’s menorah. Everyone sees this as Betty picks it up and Matt follows her to the bathroom.
In the bathroom, Betty and Matt wait for a few minutes, then a negative sign appears, as Betty breathes a sigh of relief that she is not the one who is pregnant, even though Matt was somewhat disappointed. Ignacio was also relieved as well regardless of the outcome and they returned downstairs to finish the celebration. Hours later after the celebration finished, a devastated Hilda tells Betty that she is afraid to tell Archie about the pregnancy and that he isn’t the father, now that she knows that Bobby is. Betty thinks its time for Hilda to come clean to Archie, when Archie comes by and see Hilda. However, its Archie who decided that it was better to end the relationship, but because he felt that there was someone out there who deserves Hilda and he wasn’t the one for her. After he leaves, Hilda sees Bobby, who wanted to tell her that he wouldn’t come by the place anymore, but Hilda tells him he can come over anytime. She didn’t tell Bobby about him becoming a father yet. As the evening finished, Ignacio was pleased that Jean liked the get-together and was looking forward to a having an Easter-Passover dinner down the road, while outside Betty and Matt talked about visualizing their future together if they ever decide to ever have a family, then they kiss.
Be-Shure sets up a lot of stories for the remainder of the series, as season 4 became the final season. This Christmas episode had many highlights especially the pregnancy story, keeping the audience guessing just which of the sisters is pregnant.

REVIEW: AUSTIN POWERS 1,2 & 3

CAST

Mike Myers (Shrek)
Elizabeth Hurley (Bedazzled)
Robert Wagner (Two and a Half Men)
Seth Green (Family Guy)
Mindy Sterling (Minions)
Michael York (Logan’s Run)
Fabiana Udenio (The Wedding Planner)
Will Ferrell (Elf)
Mimi Rogers (Ginger Snaps)
Charles Napier (The Silence of The Lambs)
Carrie Fisher (Star wars)
Tom Arnold (True Lies)
Monet Mazur (Rageing Angels)
Clint Howard (Apollo 13)
Cynthia LaMontagne (That 70s Show)
Brian George (The Big Bang Theory)
Rob Lowe (The West Wing)
Patricia Tallman (Babylon 5)

In 1967, British spy Austin Powers (Mike Myers) attempts to assassinate his nemesis, Dr. Evil (also Mike Myers), in his own nightclub (the Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swingers Club). Dr. Evil escapes by launching himself in a space rocket disguised as a Big Boy statue, and cryogenically freezing himself, to return at a time when free love no longer reigned, and greed and corruption ruled again. Austin volunteers to be put into cryostasis to be revived when Dr. Evil returns.
Thirty years later in 1997, Dr. Evil returns with new plans for world domination, and kills his henchman Mustafa (Will Ferrell) for making his (Dr. Evil) cat, Mr. Bigglesworth, go bald in the unfreezing process. The fire doesn’t kill him but gets shot twice. Dr. Evil discovers his henchman Number 2 (Robert Wagner) has transformed Evil’s empire into Virtucon, a multi-billion dollar enterprise. Though already wealthy, Dr. Evil proposes several plans to threaten the world for more money. However, he finds that each of them have already been done during his absence. He ultimately falls back on his old plan to steal nuclear weapons and hold the world hostage, and is advised to seek one hundred billion dollars (revised upward, on the advice of his employees, from his 1960s notion that one million dollars constitutes a world-dominating sum). Later, he also discovers that henchwoman Frau Farbissina (Mindy Sterling) used a sample of Evil’s semen just a couple of years after his cryostasis to artificially create his son, Scott Evil (Seth Green), now a Generation X young adult. Scott is resentful of his father, despite Dr. Evil’s attempts to get closer to him through therapy.
Having been aware of Dr. Evil’s return, the British Ministry of Defence unfreezes Austin, acclimatizing him to the year 1997 with the help of agent Vanessa Kensington (Elizabeth Hurley), the daughter of his sidekick in the 1960s, Mrs. Kensington (Mimi Rogers), who has retired during Austin’s 30-year absence. Powers quickly finds his free love credo of the 1960s to be out of touch with the 1990s, and is unable to ensnare Vanessa with his charms. Later, the two pose as a married couple in a Las Vegas hotel and meet Number 2’s Italian secretary, Alotta Fagina (Fabiana Udenio). Austin nearly gets killed by Dr Evil’s assassin, Paddy O’Brien (Paul Dillon) while going to the restroom but drowns him in an attempt to find out who Number 2 and Alotta work for. Austin later enters Alotta’s penthouse suite for reconnaissance and discovers plans for Dr. Evil’s “Project Vulcan”, which aims to drill a nuclear warhead into the Earth’s molten core and trigger volcanic eruptions worldwide. After Alotta finds Austin in her suite, she seduces him by taking off all of her clothes. The two eventually have sex in her hot tub, unbeknownst to Vanessa. Dr. Evil, learning that Powers is back and on his trail, creates a series of seductive female robots (called Fembots) to charm Austin before killing him. Vanessa finds about Austin’s affair with Alotta, deeply upsetting her. Realizing he has fallen in love with Vanessa, Austin apologizes to her for the affair with Alotta and vows to only be with her.
Later the couple infiltrates Dr. Evil’s headquarters but are captured by his henchman, Random Task (Joe Son). After Dr. Evil makes his demands to the world, he reveals that even after receiving the money he will still proceed with Project Vulcan. He then places Austin and Vanessa in a death trap that they easily escape from. Austin sends Vanessa for help, while he tries to find Dr. Evil. Austin enters Dr. Evil’s meeting area where he finds what he thinks are sexy women but really, the Fembots. The Fembots are wearing sexy pink and purple lingerie and do sexy poses. Austin gets distracted and a Fembot lands on his shoulders while another sprays him with pink knockout gas. He lies in bed with them happy, surrounded by them in a lustful daze but snaps out of it and tries to go get Dr. Evil. They rub his chest and convince him to stay. They continue to talk sexy to him and make smooching sounds. After a Fembot shows him her underwear, Austin tries to escape but the Fandots say he can’t resist them so he performs a sexy dance where he strips down to his UK flag underwear and does sexy dance moves which arouse the Fembots so much, their heads literally explode. He gets spotted by Vanessa but explains what happened and gets changed. Austin, Vanessa and British forces later raid Dr. Evil’s compound and Austin finds the doomsday device and deactivates it at the last moment. He finds Dr. Evil in the main chamber and almost has a chance to bring him to justice, but Alotta Fagina arrives holding Vanessa hostage and thwarts Austin’s chance to capture Dr. Evil. However, Number 2 appears and attempts to betray Dr. Evil, offering to make a deal with Austin. Dr. Evil disposes of Number 2 using the trap door leading to fire (although Number 2 survives) and escapes to his rocket, setting off the base’s self-destruct system. Vanessa knocks Alotta unconscious and escapes with Austin as the lair explodes.
Austin and Vanessa are later married, but during their honeymoon they are attacked by Random Task. Austin subdues the assassin with “his” Swedish made penis enlarger pump and Vanessa knocks him out by hitting him on the head with a bottle of champagne. Then they push him down the hallway on a cart and the couple adjourns to their balcony to have wild sex. Noticing a rather bright star, Austin pulls out a telescope to discover that it is in fact Dr. Evil’s cryogenic chamber in which he vows revenge. During the end credits, Austin does a photoshoot with Vanessa and Austin’s band “Ming Tea” perform their debut single “BBC”
The originality of the humour is what makes Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery a stand-out film. Equally importantly, the acting by a seemingly earnest Mike Myers is amazing. He not only pulls of a geeky-yet-charming Austin Powers, but also the bumbling-but-evil Dr. Evil. The supporting cast, featuring Robert Wagner as Number Two, Seth Green as Dr. Evil’s son Scott, Mindy Sterling as Frau Farbissina, and an indulgent Elizabeth Hurley as Austin’s sidekick and love-interest are all excellent but Myers has the centre stage.

CAST

Mike Myers (Shrek)
Heather Graham (From Hell)
Michael York (Logan’s Run)
Robert Wagner (Two and a Half Men)
Rob Lowe (The West Wing)
Mindy Sterling (Minions)
Seth Green (Family Guy)
Verne Troyer (The Love Guru)
Elizabeth Hurley (Bedazzled)
Gia Carides (Bliss)
Will Ferrell (Elf)
Oliver Muirhead (The Duke)
Clint Howard (Apollo 13)
Kristen Johnston (3rd Rock From the Sun)
Elvis Costello (Two and a Half Men)
Jerry Springer (The Ringmaster)
Rebecca Romijn (X-Men)
Woody Harrelson (The Hunger Games)
Tim Robbins (The Green Lantern)
George Cheung (Dark Angel)
Muse Watson (Prison Break)
David Koechner (Anchorman)
Jane Carr (The Five Year Engagement)
Kevin Durand (Dark Angel)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls)
Fred Willard (Anchorman)
Tony Jay (Lois & Clark)

Austin Powers is enjoying his honeymoon with his wife, the former Vanessa Kensington. She turns out to be one of Dr. Evil’s fembots, who attempts to kill Austin, then self-destructs. Austin grieves briefly, then proceeds to the hotel lobby nude and celebrates being single again. A NATO monitoring facility observes the return of Dr. Evil, confronting his son Scott, and then starting a riot, on The Jerry Springer Show, and informs British intelligence. At Dr. Evil’s Seattle headquarters, Dr. Evil is presented with a one-eighth-size clone of himself whom he calls Mini-Me.
Dr. Evil unveils his latest evil plan: he has developed a time machine to go back to the 1960s and steal Austin’s mojo, the source of Austin’s sexual appeal. Dr. Evil and Mini-Me go back to 1969 and meet a younger Number Two and Frau Farbissina. An obese “Scottish Guard” called Fat Bastard extracts Austin’s mojo from his frozen body at the Ministry of Defence Cryo Chamber. British intelligence warns Austin that one of Dr. Evil’s agents is after him, and during a photo shoot the wanton Ivana Humpalot seduces him, but at the last moment she claims he is too sexy for her to kill him. They have sex in his bed, but do not get far before he discovers that he has lost his mojo and is impotent.
The MOD sends Austin back to 1969 with its own time travel device, a convertible Volkswagen New Beetle. Austin arrives at a party in his London pad and with the assistance of a CIA agent, Felicity Shagwell, escapes an assassination attempt by two of Dr. Evil’s operatives. Austin and Felicity are pursued by Mustafa, another of Dr. Evil’s henchmen; when caught he reveals the existence of Dr. Evil’s secret volcano lair. Before he can divulge its location, Mini-Me shoots him in the neck with a dart, causing him to fall off a cliff.
After examining photographs from the crime scene at MOD headquarters, Austin identifies Fat Bastard as the perpetrator of the theft of his mojo. At Dr. Evil’s lair, Fat Bastard arrives with Austin’s mojo. Dr. Evil drinks some of it and has sex with Frau Farbissina. This results in an awkward situation when Frau reveals that she is pregnant. At the same moment Scott, Dr. Evil’s son, arrives through the time portal. Dr. Evil announces his latest plan — to hold the world ransom by threatening to destroy major cities each hour, using a giant laser on the Moon. In London, Austin and Felicity get to know each other, but when Felicity tries to have sex with Austin, he turns her down because of his lost mojo.
Under MOD instructions to implant a homing device into Fat Bastard, Felicity seduces him, allowing her to plant it in his anus. Fat Bastard forces it out of his bowels into a Paddington Station toilet, but a stool sample from the scene is analyzed to reveal traces of a vegetable that only grows on one Caribbean island. Austin and Felicity arrive on the island, but are apprehended. They are put in a cell with a guard who is overcome when Felicity exposes her breasts. Dr. Evil and Mini-Me leave for the Moon to install the giant laser and are followed by Austin and Felicity, who hitch a ride on Apollo 11. In Dr. Evil’s moon base, Austin battles with Mini-Me, eventually flushing him into space. As Austin confronts Dr. Evil, Dr. Evil gives him a choice: Save the world or Felicity, who is locked in a chamber with poison gas.
Felicity tells Austin to save the world and he succeeds in doing so by kicking Frau, diverting the laser and saving Washington D.C. Felicity is killed by the poison gas. Austin chases Dr. Evil and shoots him in the leg. Before Austin can kill him, Dr. Evil tells him he could use the time machine to save Felicity and the world. Austin travels ten minutes into the past, meeting up with himself and saving both the world and Felicity. Dr. Evil initiates the self-destruct mechanism of the moon base and escapes in his rocket after throwing Austin’s mojo into the air. Both Austins fail to catch it and it crashes on the floor and is destroyed. Felicity points out that all the things Austin has done show that he never lost his mojo. They escape through the time portal to 1999.
At Austin’s Pad, Fat Bastard makes another attempt to assassinate Austin, but Felicity disarms him. Felicity and Austin then throw a party. Dr. Evil recovers Mini-Me from space and vows to “get” Austin. On Jerry Springer, Scott learns he was not created in a test tube, but is the love child of Dr. Evil and Frau Farbissina. Austin returns to his pad, only to discover Felicity with the past Austin, who claims that since he and Austin are the same person, it is not cheating. Austin forgives Felicity.
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me’ is – amazingly – even funnier than the first film. It’s even more daft, even more crude and just simply great fun to watch.

CAST

Mike Myers (Shrek)
Beyonce Knowles (Dreamgirls)
Michael York (Logan’s Run)
Robert Wagner (Two and a Half Men)
Michael Caine (Batman Begins)
Rob Lowe (The West Wing)
Seth Green (Family Guy)
Verne Troyer (The Love Guru)
Heather Graham (From Hell)
Mindy Sterling (Minions)
Fred Savage (The Wonder Years)
Clint Howard (Apollo 13)
Masi Oka (Heroes)
Brian Tee (Jurassic World)
Fred Stoller (Little Man)
Greg Grunberg (Alias)
Rachel Roberts (Flashforward)
Nathan Lane (The Birdcage)
Kristen Johnston (3rd Rock From the Sun)
Tom Cruise (Legend)
Danny DeVito (Batman Returns)
Gwyneth Paltrow (Iron Man)
Kevin Spacey (American Beauty)
Britney Spears (Crossroads)
Tommy Lister (The Dark KNight)
Nichole Hiltz (Smallville)
John Travolta (The Punisher)

In 2002, in a new lair behind the famous Hollywood sign, Dr. Evil outlines his newest plan to his minions: he will go back in time to 1975 and bring back Johan van der Smut, aka “Goldmember”, who developed a cold fusion unit for a tractor beam which Dr. Evil names Preparation H, not to be confused with the well known product of the same name – Preparations A through G had failed earlier. He intends to use the tractor beam to pull a meteor into the Earth to strike the polar ice caps and cause global flooding. However, moments after revealing this plan Austin Powers and the British Secret Service attack and arrest Dr. Evil. Austin is knighted for his services, but is disappointed when his father, the famous super-spy Nigel Powers, fails to attend the event. At a party to celebrate his knighthood he sings a song with the band Ming Tea; later he meets two Japanese twins named Fook Mi and Fook Yu and is about to have a threesome with them when Basil Exposition informs Austin that his father has been kidnapped, the only clue being that the crew of his yacht have had their genitalia painted gold.
In search of answers, Austin visits the imprisoned Dr. Evil, who tells him that Goldmember is behind the abduction. Traveling to 1975, Austin infiltrates Goldmember’s roller disco club Studio 69 and meets up with Foxxy Cleopatra (Beyoncé Knowles), an old flame and FBI agent who is undercover as a disco singer. With Foxxy’s help, Austin locates his father but is unable to rescue him. Goldmember takes Nigel with him through Dr. Evil’s time machine into 2002, and leaves his golden clad henchwomen to kill Austin. Foxxy helps Austin escape, and asks to accompany him to the future in an effort to save his father and exact revenge upon Goldmember for murdering her partner. In 2002, Dr. Evil and Mini-Me instigate a riot in their prison, allowing them to escape. A British Intelligence mole named Number 3 (Fred Savage), who coincidentally has a large mole on his face, informs Austin that the doctor has moved to a new lair near Tokyo – a giant submarine shaped like Dr. Evil. Austin and Foxxy fly to Tokyo and confront one of Dr. Evil’s henchmen, Fat Bastard, now a sumo wrestler. After a humorous fight between Austin and Fat Bastard, Foxxy arrests Fat Bastard who tells them that a Japanese business man, Mr. Roboto, is working on a device for Dr. Evil and Goldmember.Austin and Foxxy later meet with Mr. Roboto, who pleads ignorance about Nigel’s whereabouts. Unconvinced, Austin and Foxxy infiltrate Roboto’s factory where the command unit for the tractor beam is being loaded in Goldmember’s car, and Roboto hands Goldmember a golden key needed to activate the beam. Foxxy confronts Goldmember while Austin attempts to free Nigel, but Goldmember escapes with the command unit and flees to Dr. Evil’s sub. Unable to settle their differences, Nigel and Austin part ways when they disagree on how to deal with the situation. Meanwhile, Dr. Evil’s son, Scott Evil, has become increasingly evil in an attempt to prove himself to his father, to the point that he too is going bald. Scott presents his father with sharks with laser beams, a request that had gone unfulfilled in the first film. Dr. Evil replaces Mini-Me with Scott as his favored son; the rejected Mini-Me defects and joins Austin.
Austin, Foxxy and Mini-Me infiltrate the sub, but Austin is captured. Dr. Evil prepares to activate the tractor beam, but Foxxy has stolen the key and frees Austin. Austin prepares to shoot Dr. Evil, when Nigel appears and reveals Dr. Evil and Austin are brothers, separated when they were toddlers when an assassination attempt killed their mother, and Dr. Evil was found and raised by Belgians. Dr. Evil and Austin embrace, enraging Scott, who flees to pursue his own vengeance, whilst Goldmember commandeers the tractor beam’s controls, unzipping his pants to reveal his gold-covered genitals to be a spare key. Goldmember activates the tractor beam, but Austin and Dr. Evil work together to reverse its polarity, destroying the meteor and saving the world. The heroes arrest Goldmember, who turns to the camera to reveal the entire string of events was adapted into a film by Steven Spielberg, starring Tom Cruise as Austin, Kevin Spacey as Dr. Evil, Danny DeVito as Mini-Me, and John Travolta as Goldmember. Austin, Foxxy, Dr. Evil, Mini-Me and Nigel are in the audience of a Hollywood theater watching the film. Upon exiting the theater they run into Fat Bastard, now thinner but flabby, thanks to the Subway diet. As Austin and Foxxy kiss, in Dr. Evil’s Hollywood lair, Scott – now completely bald, dressed like and laughing in a manner similar to his father – declares he will get his revenge on Austin and begins dancing like the singer Michael Jackson.
The third is fantastic… funny, disgusting, clever and uplifting! Mini-Me and Fat B****** are back with even better gags and the usual crude humour from the latter!!! But Mike Myers has triumphed in adding the hilarious dutch roller skating villain “Goldmember!” And the casting of Michael Cane as Nigel Powers, Austins father… or farja if you’re Goldmember… is excellent!