REVIEW: FREAKED

CAST

Alex Winter (Bill & Ted)
Michael Stoyanov (The Dark Knight)
Megan Ward (Crash and Burn)
Randy Quaid (Independence Day)
Keanu Reeves (Speed)
Mr. T (The A-Team)
Bobcat Goldthwait (One Crazy Summer)
Derek McGrath (Sherlock Hound)
John Hawkes (Winter’s Bone)
Jon M. Chu (Once A Cop)
Lee Arenberg (Once Upon a Time)
William Sadler (Iron Man 3)
Brooke Shields (Lipstick Jungle)
Morgan Fairchild (The Seduction)
Deep Roy (Charlie and The Chocolate Factory)
Don Stark (That 70s Show)

MCDFREA EC006Skye (Brooke Shields) is interviewing beloved former child star Ricky Coogin (Alex Winter). Rather bluntly, Skye asks how Ricky so quickly went from one of America’s sweethearts to a name that makes children scream in terror.
51imjaqljqlIt all began when he accepted a job from the slimy mega-corporation E.E.S. to promote “Zygrot 24”, a controversial and lethal toxic fertilizer, in South America. Although hesitant at first, the greedy, self-centered Coogin caves in after their sleazy chairman (William Sadler) offers him $5,000,000 and he hops on the first plane to South America with his buddy Ernie (Michael Stoyanov). During their flight, the duo have a run-in with Ricky’s 12-year old number one fan Stuey Gluck (Alex Zuckerman). Once Ricky and Ernie arrive in the country of Santa Flan, they cross paths with a group of protesters, specifically the hard-willed and attractive young environmentalist Julie (Megan Ward). The two con Julie into thinking they’re also environmentalists and she agrees to join them on a trip to an anti-Zygrot 24 protest. However, she soon finds out their true identities and the three are stuck with each other for the rest of the drive. They decide to take a detour to see Freek Land, a freak show, and they wind up in the clutches of demented proprietor Elijah C. Skuggs (Randy Quaid) and his henchman, the long-tongued Toad (Jaime Cardriche). Skuggs introduces them to his “Tasty Freekz Machine”, a contraption powered by Zygrot 24 that morphs regular people into “Hideous Mutant Freekz” to become part of his show. Julie and Ernie are merged into a pair of conjoined twins and Ricky is transformed into a hideous half-man, half-monster.
dorian-gray-pics-hd-ben-barnes-8952311-1200-8003Ricky meets the other freaks: Ortiz the Dog Boy (Keanu Reeves), the self-proclaimed “Leader of the Freaks”; Worm (Derek McGrath), the half-man, half-worm; Nosey (Jeff Kahn), whose entire head is one big nose; Cowboy (John Hawkes), the half-man, half-cow; the Bearded Lady (Mr. T); Sockhead (Bobcat Goldthwait), who has a sock puppet for a head; The Eternal Flame (Lee Arenberg), who has constant flaming flatulence; Rosie the Pinhead; The Hideous Frogman (Tim Burns), a Frenchman in a scuba suit; and the skeleton of Paul Lynde. At first, Ricky wants nothing to do with any of the other freaks, but soon warms up to them after hearing their stories of how they came to be here. Meanwhile, he discovers that he’s developed a telepathic bond with Stuey and summons him to get help. Stuey manages to sell Ricky’s story to the Weekly World News, but ends up being captured by a group of shady businessmen that presumably work for Elijah.
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Ricky eventually finds out that Elijah’s Zygrot suppliers are none other than E.E.S., who arrive at Freek Land with a shipment of Zygrot and an imprisoned Stuey Gluck. As they discuss their plans to mutate the world’s population into an efficient workforce, Stuey follows a telepathic tip from Rick and manages to escape, grabbing the tainted batch of Zygrot along the way. Elijah goes ahead and infects Ricky with his own Zygrot, turning him into an equally grotesque seven-foot monster. As the Ricky Monster and Stuey Monster battle to the death onstage, Elijah catches the E.E.S. executives double-crossing him and stealing his “Tasty Freaks Machine”. Right before the Ricky Monster is about to destroy the Stuey Monster, however, a wave of compassion comes over him, and he drops his weapon and gives Stuey a hug. Enraged, Elijah unsuccessfully tries to fight the Ricky Monster, who bashes him in the head, paralyzing him.
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They are then joined by the still-mutated Ortiz and the Stuey Monster before it’s revealed that Skye Daley is actually Elijah C. Skuggs. Skuggs lunges after Ricky with a machete, only to be gunned down by the now normal Julie. As she embraces Ricky, Skye rises again, this time to be gunned down by Ernie.MCDFREA EC001The main thing people should know about this film is that it stars Bill and Ted and Death, Keanu Reeves stars as Ortiz the dog boy and he spends the whole film in heavy dog makeup. if that is not enough then how about Mr T as the bearded lady?! Brooke Shields as a talk show host with hideous legs? 13 milkmen (including one in a frogsuit, one as a cow, one as a worm, one as a sock puppet and one which is a hammer) and some of the funniest visual humor you have ever seen involving a ginger troll. A Classic film thats still fun to watch all these years later

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REVIEW: KINGPIN

CAST

Woody Harrelson (The Hunger Games)
Randy quaid (Independence Day)
Bill Murray (Ghostbusters)
Vanessa angel (Puppet Master vs Demonic Toys)
Chris Elliott (How I Met Your Mother)
Lin shaye (Insidious)
Willie Garson (Groundhog Day)

Flashy young bowler Roy Munson (Woody Harrelson) wins the 1979 Iowa state bowling championship and leaves home to turn professional. In his professional bowling tour debut, he defeats established pro Ernie McCracken (Bill Murray), who takes the loss poorly and seeks revenge. McCracken convinces Roy to join him in a plot to hustle a group of local amateur bowlers. When the amateurs become furious after realizing they are being conned, McCracken flees while Roy is brutally beaten and loses his hand when it is forced into the ball return, ending his career.17 years later, Roy uses a prosthetic hand and is living in Scranton, Pennsylvania where he sells novelty items (like fluorescent condoms) with little success and drinks heavily. On a sales visit to a nearby bowling alley, Roy catches sight of a man named Ishmael Boorg (Randy Quaid) rolling a near-perfect game. Roy tries to convince Ishmael to turn pro, with Roy acting as manager. Ishmael declines the offer, explaining that he is from the local Amish community and that his bowling hobby is a secret. Roy then sees a poster in a bowling magazine advertising a $1 million winner-take-all tournament in Reno, Nevada. Learning that Ishmael’s family is about to lose their farm to the bank for the exact amount of his cut of the prize money, Roy eventually convinces Ishmael’s family to let him join Roy on a trip to Reno.Roy discovers that the childlike Ishmael is not aware of some of bowling’s basic rules and skills, but after some coaching Ishmael’s game steadily improves. The duo earn money while traveling to Reno through Ishmael’s success in various local tournaments and by hustling bowlers in cash games. One night they agree to a high stakes private game against a wealthy bowling enthusiast named Stanley Osmanski (Rob Moran), which Ishmael wins, but Stanley attacks the duo after discovering that the roll of cash Roy put up was mostly Monopoly money. As the group flee Osmanski’s mansion, they are joined by his girlfriend Claudia (Vanessa Angel) who had also been a victim of Osmanski’s violence. Claudia proceeds to travel with them, annoying Roy who suspects Claudia has ulterior motives and is distracting Ishmael. Arriving in Reno the group runs into McCracken, who is now a national bowling superstar. It is revealed that McCracken had previously been romantically involved with Claudia. McCracken insults and makes fun of Roy, and infuriates Ishmael to the point where he attempts to punch McCracken but instead hits a wall and breaks his hand, leaving him unable to bowl. Later on, Claudia disappears with the duo’s funds after being discovered by Stanley, leaving Roy and Ishmael broke. Feeling distraught, Ishmael convinces Roy that they still have a chance to win the $1,000,000 – if Roy will bowl. Though initially hesitant, Roy finally agrees and enters the tournament, rolling the ball with his prosthetic rubber hand. He rediscovers his previous talent and wins his first several rounds, ending up in the televised finals against McCracken. During the final match Ishmael’s brother, who had been sent by the Boorg family to find Ishmael, shows up and takes him back to Pennsylvania. When Roy realizes he is alone, he begins to struggle and McCracken ultimately wins the tournament by one pin.Afterwards, Roy is again living in Pennsylvania when he is visited by Claudia, who explains she had disappeared with Stanley in Reno in an attempt to keep him from hurting Roy and Ishmael. She confesses her love for Roy and offers him money earned from gambling on McCracken in the final match. Roy responds that he has already earned $500,000 in an endorsement deal for Trojan condoms that plays on his “rubber man” nickname, based on his prosthetic hand and given to him during the Reno tournament. Claudia told Roy that she took the money and told Stanley she is running off with McCracken. But she never did, the only way Stanley stop looking for her and give McCracken his payback what he did to Roy and Ishamel.Later, Ishmael is back living on his farm when he suddenly discovers Roy and Claudia in his family’s home. Ishmael’s parents explain that Roy and Claudia told them about Ishmael’s forbidden bowling career, but also about the moral strength and decency he showed during his travels. Roy tells them how Ishamel straightened Roy and Claudia’s life out. Roy and Claudia drive away together after paying off the Boorg family’s debts with Roy’s endorsement check.Bill Murray appears off and on in this twisted picture–and all of his screen time is absolutely precious . Kingpin is a piece of comedic gold, that many have overlooked.

 

 

 

REVIEW: INDEPENDENCE DAY

CAST

Will Smith (Suicide Squad)
Bill Pullman (The Grudge)
Jeff Goldblum (Jurassic Park)
Mary McDonnell (Battlestar Galactica)
Judd Hirsch (Tower Heist)
Robert Loggia (Psycho II)
Randy Quaid (Kingpin)
Margaret Colin (Gotham)
James Rebhorn (Meet The Parents)
Vivica A. Fox (Idle Hands)
Harvey Fierstein (Kull The Conqueror)
Adam Baldwin (Firefly)
Brent Spiner (Star Trek: TNG)
James Duval (Gone In 60 Seconds)
Lisa Jakub (Mrs. Doubtfire)
Giuseppe Andrews (Cabin Fever)
Mae Whitman (Boogeyman 2)
Bill Smitrovich (Iron Man)
Kiersten Warren (13 Going on 30)
Harry Connick Jr. (The Iron Giant)
Frank Welker (Transformers)
Erick Avari (Stargate)

On July 2, 1996, an enormous alien mothership that has one fourth the mass of the Moon enters orbit around Earth, deploying 36 smaller spacecraft, each 15 miles (24 km) wide, that take positions over some of Earth’s major cities and military bases. David Levinson, an MIT-trained satellite technician, decodes a signal embedded in the global satellite transmissions that he determines is a timer counting down to a coordinated attack. With the help of his former wife, White House Communications Director Constance Spano, Levinson, and his father Julius, gain access to the Oval Office and warn President Thomas J. Whitmore that the aliens are hostile. Whitmore orders large-scale evacuations of New York City, Los Angeles, and Washington D.C., but it is too late; the timer reaches zero and the ships activate devastating directed-energy weapons, killing millions. Whitmore, the Levinsons, and a few others, narrowly escape aboard Air Force One as the capital is destroyed, along with other locations over which the ships are positioned.On July 3, international military leaders begin ordering individual counterattacks. Their aviation forces attack destroyer ships positioned above the ruins of the cities, but they are protected by force fields. Each destroyer launches a swarm of attack fighters, which wipe out the human fighter squadrons. Captain Steven Hiller, a pilot with the Marine Corps squadron VMFA-314 based out of Marine Corps Air Station El Toro, survives by luring his attacker to the enclosed spaces of the Grand Canyon and sacrificing his plane, forcing the alien to crash-land. He subdues the injured alien pilot and flags down a convoy of refugees, hitching a ride with former combat pilot Russell Casse. They transport the unconscious alien to nearby Area 51 where Whitmore’s group has landed. Through Secretary of Defense Albert Nimzicki, they learn that a faction of the government has been involved in a UFO conspiracy since 1947, when one of the invaders’ attack fighters crashed in Roswell. Area 51 houses the refurbished alien fighter and three alien corpses recovered from the crash.When eccentric scientist Brackish Okun examines the alien captured by Hiller, it regains consciousness and attacks. It telepathically invades Okun’s mind and uses his vocal cords to communicate with Whitmore before launching a psychic attack against him. Whitmore sees visions of the alien’s plans: their entire civilization travels from planet to planet, exterminating all indigenous life and harvesting the planet of all natural resources. After Secret Service agents and military personnel kill the alien, Whitmore reluctantly authorizes a nuclear attack; a B-2 Spirit fires a nuclear cruise missile at an alien destroyer positioned above Houston, but the ship remains intact.On July 4, Levinson demonstrates that the key to defeating the aliens lies in deactivating their force fields, and devises a way to do so by uploading a computer virus into the mothership. He proposes using the refurbished alien fighter to implement the plan, which Hiller volunteers to pilot. The two are able to implant the virus and deploy a nuclear weapon on board the mothership. With military pilots in short supply, Whitmore enlists the help of volunteers with flight experience, including Casse, and leads an attack on a destroyer ship bearing down on Area 51. With the alien’s shields deactivated, the fighters are able to inflict damage but their supply of missiles is quickly exhausted. As the destroyer prepares to fire on the base, the last missile, equipped on Casse’s plane, jams, and Casse decides to sacrifice his own life. He flies his plane kamikaze-style into the directed-energy weapon port, which results in an explosion that destroys the ship. Human resistance forces around the world successfully destroy the other craft using this vulnerability. As humankind is rejoicing in victory, Hiller and Levinson return to Area 51 unharmed and reunite with their families. They and military officers nearby accompany Whitmore and his daughter in watching the wreckage from the mothership burn up, resembling a fireworks display as it enters Earth’s atmosphere.Independence Day is arguably one of the greatest SF disaster movies of all time. With REM’s ‘It’s the end of the world’ sampled near the beginning of the movie, you definitely know that Roland Emmerich’s view about alien encounters is more akin to War of the Worlds than E.T. Filled with stunning special effects, stirring music, unpretentious sentimentality and laced with good natured humour there is no need to bemoan the lack of character development or obvious narrative coincidences. There is no pretence at being a great cinematic masterpiece examining deep philosophical themes. This is a two hour long, ludicrously enjoyable, preposterously pompous, unbelievably incredible ‘backs against the wall’ slice of SF fantasy which still entertains after numerous viewings.

REVIEW: SOME THINGS NEVER DIE

CAST
Randy Quaid (Kingpin)
Brenda Epperson (Follow Your Heart)
Katherine Heigl (Roswell)
James Doohan (Star Trek)
George Takei (Space Milkshake)
Meredith Salenger (Village of The Damned)
Anne Lockhart (Buried)
Doug Jones (Hellboy)
Gil, (Bernie Kopell) and Cammie Griffin, (Anne Lockhart) take their daughter Shannon, (Katherine Heigl) to the Mountview Lodge, where a recent controversy over the spraying of a chemical spray is making the residents nervous. Even worse is that cockroaches are popping up everywhere, which troubles the town’s veterinarian, Laura Casey, (Brenda Doumani) when they pop up around a series of gruesome killings. After determining that the bugs are the official cause of the deaths, the town decides to call in General George, (Randy Quaid) a TV personality bug extinguisher, to help deal with the problem.  This one actually surprised me and I quite enjoyed it. The main asset to that is it’s sense of fun. It’s one of the few that strikes the hard to master task of striking a balance between being cheesy and being serious. The situations may be cheesy, but they are taken seriously, putting them into a better sense of urgency. That mixes with the cheesiness of the situations makes for some pleasant viewing.
It also moves along quite rapidly and doesn’t really get bogged down in useless subplots, making the majority of the focus on the bugs, which is what should happen in this type of movie. A must see for any Sci-Fi Fan.

REVIEW: NOT ANOTHER TEEN MOVIE

CAST

Chris Evans (Captain America)
Chyler Leigh (Supergirl)
Jaime Pressly (My Name Is Earl)
Eric Christian Olsen (Tru Calling)
Mia Kirschner (The Vampire Diaries)
Deon Richmond (Scream 3)
Eric Jungman (The Faculty)
Ron Lester (Varsity Blues)
Cody McMains (Bring It On)
Sam Huntington (Superman Returns)
Lacey Chabert (Mean Girls)
Samm Levine (Pulse)
Cerina Vincent (Power Rangers Lost Galaxy)
Ed Lauter (The Number 23)
Mr. T (The A-Team)
Randy Quaid (Independence Day)
Molly Rignwald (Pretty In Pink)
Nathan West (The SKulls 2)
Josh Radnor (How I Met Your Mother)
George Wyner (American Pie 2)
Nick Bakay (That 70s Show)
Melissa Joan Hart (Sabrina)
Sean Patrick Thomas (Save The Last Dance)
Riley Smith (Eight Legged Freaks)

In the stereotypical high school community of John Hughes High in Southern California, sexy Priscilla (Jaime Pressly), a popular cheerleader, separates from her football star boyfriend, Jake Wyler (Chris Evans). After Jake discovers that Priscilla is now dating peculiar Les (Riley Smith) just to spite him, one of Jake’s friends, Austin (Eric Christian Olsen), suggests seeking retribution by turning Janey Briggs (Chyler Leigh), a “uniquely rebellious girl”, into the prom queen.

Jake attempts to court Janey’s love, but faces adversity from his own sister, Catherine (Mia Kirshner), who is sexually attracted to him; Janey’s unnoticed admirer and best friend, Ricky Lipman (Eric Jungmann); and memories from his past football career. Catherine eventually assists her brother by slightly altering Janey’s appearance (by simply removing her glasses and ponytail), instantly making her drop dead gorgeous.

Meanwhile, Janey’s younger brother, Mitch (Cody McMains), and his friends, Ox (Sam Huntington) and Bruce (Samm Levine), make a pact to lose their virginity by graduation despite still being in their freshman year. Mitch tries to impress his longtime crush, the beautiful yet perverted Amanda Becker (Lacey Chabert) with a letter professing his love for her. Bruce says that he does not have a chance with her, mockingly stating, “Keep dreaming!”
As the prom draws near, Jake draws infamy among his peers after he fails to lead his football team to victory at the state championship game the year before. The situation is further worsened when Austin tricks Jake into telling Janey about his plan to spite Priscilla by pretending to whisper the secret bet in Janey’s ear, causing her to immediately leave Jake. During prom night, Austin and Janey go together; a jealous Jake and Catherine have a dance-off with Austin and Janey, with Catherine dancing in a sexual manner. Janey runs off crying. Meanwhile, Mitch and his friends are having a lousy time at the prom until Amanda arrives and Mitch gives her the letter and Ox later hooks up with Catherine.

Jake is awarded prom king and the principal reads out that the votes for prom queen are tied. Everyone thinks that it is between Janey and Priscilla, but they are shocked to find that Kara and Sara Fratelli (Samaire Armstrong and Nectar Rose), twins conjoined at the head, win prom queen. During the traditional prom king and queen dance, Janey supposedly left with Austin to go to a hotel.

Jake goes to the hotel room where he finds Austin having wild sex with a girl but is shocked to find that it is Priscilla not Janey while the weird Les videotapes with his pants down supposedly having an erection, Austin tells Jake that Janey “ran home to her daddy”. Jake angrily punches Austin and Priscilla, knocking them out cold, for what they had done to Janey. He then punches Les for “being really weird” (he also punches a plastic bag that happens to be floating next to Les); afterwards he runs to Janey’s house only to learn from her father (Randy Quaid) that she is going to Paris for art school.

Jake arrives at the airport and confronts her before she can board the plane, and uses a plethora of clichéd lines from other movies (such as She’s All That, Cruel Intentions, American Pie, The Breakfast Club, American Beauty, 10 Things I Hate About You, Can’t Hardly Wait, and Pretty in Pink) to convince her to stay in America. His final (and only original) speech suggests they would be better off apart, but Janey mistakenly believes he is quoting The Karate Kid, and she decides to stay with him.

This film is so funny great film very entertaining would recommend to any one if you want a good night in having a laugh

REVIEW: BLADE: THE SERIES

MAIN CAST

Sticky Fingaz (Next Friday)
Jill Wagner (Teen Wolf)
Nelson Lee (Vacancy 2)
Jessica Gower (Winners & Losers)
Neil Jackson (Sleepy Hollow)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Bill Mondy (I Spy)
David Palffy (Stargate SG.1)
David Kopp (Freddy Vs Jason)
P. Lynn Johnson (50/50)
Don Thompson (Red Riding Hood)
Randy Quaid (Kingpin)
Adrian Hough (X-Men 3)
Ryan Kennedy (Smallville)
William MacDonald (Slither)
Ryan Robbins (Arrow)
Sonja Bennett (Stargate: Atlantis)
Brandon Jay McLaren (Power Rangers SPD)
Bokeem Woodbine (Total Recall)
Steve Bacic (Andromeda)
Sahar Biniaz (Watchmen)
Emily Hirst (Smallville)
Mike Dopud (Stargate Universe)
Larry Poindexter (Sabrina: TTW)
Jody Thompson (Flash Gordon)
Hiro Kanagawa (Heroes Reborn)
Richard Roundtree (Alias)
Brent Stait (Andromeda)
John DeSantis (The New Addams Family)
Tom Butler (Painkiller Jane)
Lauren Lee Smith (Mutant X)

Following the conclusion of Blade: Trinity, Blade (Kirk “Sticky Fingaz” Jones) travels to his hometown of Detroit where the vampire nation is planning something big. Led by the wealthy and well-respected Marcus Van Sciver (Neil Jackson), The House of Chthon (one of the ten vampire houses) has begun development of a vaccine (Project: Aurora) that will cure them of all of their afflictions: silver, garlic and sunlight. It’s up to Blade to stop that from happening before it’s too late. Enlisting the help of computer whiz and weapon’s guru, Shen (Nelson Lee), Blade is ready for an all out assault to rid the world of more blood-sucking fiends.Doing her part in all of this is Krista Starr (Jill Wagner), a U.S. military combat medic who has just returned home from the war. Her welcome home celebration soon turns to sadness when she is greeted by the police, who inform her that her brother has died… or maybe he was killed. Convinced of the latter Krista takes it upon herself to investigate his mysterious death, which exposes her to the vampire world and leads to a meeting with Blade, himself. Banding together the two infiltrate Sciver’s inner circle, which results in Krista being taken and then turned into one of the undead. While Krista battles with the thirst and her unwanted transformation, she helps to feed Blade information from the inside. This information will allow the Daywalker to take down the vampire collective once and for all.The first half of this one and only season focuses a lot more on Krista’s character and less on Blade. That’s not a bad thing, actually. After going three films where Blade has been the dominant figure this show enjoys veering off and exploring other characters; giving us the chance to pick the side we like the best. Also, Krista’s character is very tragic. Losing her brother and then losing herself, so-to-speak, really laid the foundation for a woman who is torn between her human side and current vampire persona. Being a part of the sensual and romantic lifestyle that the vampires lead, it’s not easy for Krista to resist temptation. As she falls deeper into darkness, we see her crisscrossing between both of her personalities and watch her struggle to maintain some kind of balance. However, she unwittingly brings more of her family into this mess and that’s when things really begin to spiral out of control for her.The second half of the season gets down to business and shows us more of Blade, including the back-story of his childhood and life as a young Daywalker. In the episode entitled “Sacrifice” (probably the best episode of the season), we are shown Blade as a boy and experience the very first meeting between him and Whistler. You’ll get to see how Blade was treated as a child and even how Whistler got that nasty limp of his. In the episode “Bloodlines”, we are introduced to his former gang, the Bad Bloods, who are suffering from vampirism and are looking to exact revenge on Blade – or “Little Man” as they call him – for he was the one who turned them all into the creatures they have become. The gang hopes to wipe out Blade as a way to finally gain respect from the vampire houses and make their way into the collective, but Blade definitely doesn’t make it easy for them and does a bit of damage in his high-flying, kung fu way. There is also a secondary storyline where Blade meets FBI agent Ray Collins (Larry Poindexter). Prior to this meeting we watch this agent go on a bit of a trek of his own, tracking down cop-turned-vampire Boone (Bill Mondy). Now Boone makes an appearance in the pilot episode (as a “familiar”) and becomes almost the main focus in a few of the subsequent episodes until he’s gone for good. When that happens, the agent and Blade team up to try and take down one of the Purebloods, the very youthful Charlotte (Emily Hirst). This is a show that really knew how to cater to its predominantly male Spike TV audience. Blade hasn’t been toned down one bit and we are treated to tons of bloody kills and gruesome gore effects, along with quite a large helping of sexual content and nudity.Blade: The Series is still very much a Blade experience. Full of violence and gore, sex and f-bombs, this is a no-holds-barred action treat that, sadly, only lasted 13 episodes.