25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: BETTER WATCH OUT

Starring

Olivia DeJonge (The Sisterhood of Night)
Levi Miller (Pan)
Ed Oxenbould (The Visit)
Aleks Mikic (Secret City)
Dacre Montgomery (Power Rangers)
Patrick Warburton (Family Guy)
Virginia Madsen (Sideways)

Ed Oxenbould and Olivia DeJonge in Better Watch Out (2016)At Christmas time, 17-year-old Ashley (Olivia DeJonge) is busy babysitting precocious 12-year-old Luke Lerner (Levi Miller). Luke has romantic feelings for Ashley and unsuccessfully attempts to seduce her while watching a horror movie. Strange happenings outside put Ashley on edge, but it ultimately appears to be just Luke’s best friend, Garrett (Ed Oxenbould), who has stopped by to hang out. Hearing a window break upstairs, the trio find a brick inscribed with “U leave and U die.” Garrett panics and runs out the back door, but is apparently killed by an unknown shooter.Olivia DeJonge and Levi Miller in Better Watch Out (2016)Shocked, Ashley and Luke run upstairs and hide in the attic. Ashley almost breaks her neck from a fall but Luke catches her. After they run into Luke’s room and hide in his closet, a masked intruder armed with a shotgun walks into the room. Ashley recognizes the mask as one of Luke’s and yanks it off the intruder, revealing Garrett. Ashley realizes that Luke was hoping to seduce her by scaring her. Angered, Ashley yells at Luke, calling him mental and saying he needs therapy, and tries to leave. While at the top of the stairs, Luke hits her with his gun, causing her to fall down the stairs and be knocked unconscious.Luke binds Ashley with duct tape, then forces her to play truth or dare. Her boyfriend, Ricky (Aleks Mikic), arrives at the house after receiving a text message sent by Ashley earlier. When Ricky fails to find Ashley, he realizes that something is wrong. Luke tries to knock him out, but fails. After nearly killing Luke, Ricky is threatened by Garrett with the shotgun. Luke knocks Ricky out and they tie him up beside Ashley.Ed Oxenbould and Olivia DeJonge in Better Watch Out (2016)While Ashley uses a shard of glass to cut herself free, Luke tries to show Garrett what happens if you actually hit someone in the head with a swinging paint can similar to the scene from Home Alone. Luke tries to demonstrate with Ricky, but misses on the first swing. Ashley gets free and threatens Luke with a pistol. He drops the paint can and kills Ricky. When Ashley realizes the gun is unloaded, she tries to escape to a group of carolers outside. Luke uses the brick tossed through the upstairs window to knock her out again before she can alert them.Olivia DeJonge and Levi Miller in Better Watch Out (2016)Luke calls Ashley’s ex-boyfriend, Jeremy (Dacre Montgomery), claiming that she wants him to write an apology letter. While Jeremy does so, Luke hangs him from a tree, making the apology look like a suicide note. He kills Garrett for trying to free Ashley. Luke then stabs Ashley in the neck and stages the scene to frame Jeremy. Later, he goes to bed and waits for the return of his parents, who contact the police. It is then revealed that Ashley stuck duct tape over the stab wound in her neck to stop the bleeding. Luke watches from his bedroom window as Ashley gives him the finger before being wheeled into the ambulance. In a mid-credit scene, Luke tells his mom that he is worried about Ashley and wants to go to the hospital.Olivia DeJonge and Levi Miller in Better Watch Out (2016)At its lightest level, Better Watch Out can be perceived as a caricature of the Home Alone films. Is it scary? It’s hard to answer that question without revealing a crucial twist but during all the ensuing mayhem, Peckover’s triumph are the comic interjections that make some of the goriest scenes unexpectedly funny. And yet at its scariest, the writing, and the narrative, are grounded towards director Michael Haneke’s psychological thriller Funny Games. Anyone who has seen that film can survive this film. For horror fans who like it dark, clever and twisted, this is the ultimate year-end treat whether you’ve been naughty or nice.

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31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN REVIEW: FAMILY GUY – HALLOWEEN EPISODES

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MAIN CAST

Seth MacFarlane (Ted)
Alex Borstein (Catwoman)
Seth Green (Without a Paddle)
Mila Kunis (Oz The Great and Powerful)
Lori Alan (Inside Out)
Mike Henry (The Cleveland Show)

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GUEST CAST

Adam Carolla (Road Hard)
Gary Cole (Chuck)
Judy Greer (Jurassic World)
Rachael MacFalrane (American Dad)
Kerrigan Mahan (Power Rangers)
Adam West (Batman 60s)
Patrick Warburton (Get Smart)
Stacey Scowley (The Brotherhood 2)
Christina Milan (Bring it On 5)
Fred Tatasciore (Hulk Vs)

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FAMILY GUY VIEWER MAIL # 1 SEAGMENT 3: LIL’ GRIFFINS


After the boys all refuse to have anything to do with girls, five-year-old Peter, and Quagmire compete for the attentions of new girl Lois who mentions that she likes her men brave. The kids make a bet to stay in a rumored haunted house and proceed to attempt to scare each other out until they encounter an apparently “real” ghost and they all flee in terror. Lois says that she is no longer impressed by bravery, however, and introduces Mort Goldman, whose intelligence she likes. Peter and Quagmire swear off girls forever in disgust; thirty-five years later they are still woman less but, without the distraction of women, they have become incredibly wealthy.
Not a traditional Halloween episode as it’s only a small seagment of the actual episode, so it’s not as good as the normal Halloween specials, still has some good laughs.

PETERGEIST

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After Joe builds a home theater system, Peter decides to build a multiplex in his backyard out of spite. While digging, Peter finds the skull of a Native American buried in the backyard. Brian frequently urges him to return the skull to its resting place, but Peter treats it as a novelty (playing with it, urinating in it, wearing it as an athletic cup, etc.). That night the Griffins start experiencing strange paranormal activity: Stewie talks to the TV static, the chairs and refrigerator stack themselves upside down on the kitchen table, Peter rips at the flesh on his face until he uncovers Hank Hill’s face, and Chris gets scared by a McDonald’s clown, Ronald McDonald and he then gets attacked by an evil tree before being saved by Herbert. Lois is in denial of the events until Stewie gets sucked into his closet and disappears.
To find Stewie, the Griffins hire a spiritual medium (Bruce the Performance Artist in one of his many jobs) to contact the other side, and learn that the entrance to the spirit world is Stewie’s closet, while the exit is “Meg’s ass”. Unable to wait for Stewie to come out of the closet (he is obviously reluctant to exit from Meg’s rear end), Lois enters the portal and rescues Stewie. The enraged spirits emerge and ravage the Griffin house, sucking it into their world. As the Griffins drive off, Peter dumps the Native American skull in a garbage can.

Now homeless, Peter and Lois try and find a way to get their house back, and learn the Native American skull has to be put back in its resting place. After searching through the city dump, a garbage man tells them that the skull would be in the human remains bin, but it was cleaned out by Carrot Top for things to use as props. They go to Carrot Top’s mansion and, after a chase through a hall of mirrors, they retrieve the skull and rebury it, thereby getting back their house and returning life to normal. At the end, Lois takes the TV and moves it outside the front door but Peter comes out, retrieves it and puts Meg outside instead.

A great episode I especially loved the Poltergeist takeoffs in the episode, even the music and special ffects, especially when Peter plays around with the portals that are in Meg’s butt

HALLOWEEN ON SPOONER STREET

8acx06_sc340_0027Peter and Joe target Quagmire for this year’s Halloween pranks. This includes bombarding Quagmire with eggs, Joe dressing up as a girl and sleeping with him, and infecting him with an unknown disease carried by a mosquito from Senegal (But only after putting every known disease in a syringe and stabbing him, including Hepatitis and Meningitis). Returning home, Peter praises Quagmire for being a good sport and the two decide to go drinking. Deciding to approach Joe, they convince him to allow them to follow him in his police car. Agreeing to do so only if they stay in his car, Peter and Quagmire soon become a nuisance. Ultimately. they drive to an old airfield where they discover a Mitsubishi Zero, which is a Japanese fighter plane used during World War II. Quagmire flies the two into the sky and eventually takes them on a high speed dive into the ocean near Quahog Harbor, stopping only inches from crashing stating that it was payback for making him have sex with Joe.


Meanwhile, Stewie discovers trick-or-treaters (at first thinking they are real monsters and starts shooting at them with an m16), and soon wants to partake in the activity. Deciding to dress as a baby duck, he is subsequently bullied by a gang of three older children who steal his candy. Searching for Brian, Stewie blames him for causing him to lose his candy and convinces him to steal back the candy from the bullies. Approaching the bullies to get the candy back, Brian is immediately painted pink. Seeking revenge, Stewie half jokingly suggests to Brian that they kill the bullies, though they both agree they can’t actually do that. When his plan to threaten them with a bazooka fails (and ends up killing a Godzilla-like monster instead), Stewie goes to “Plan B” and begins crying for his mother. Lois then confronts the lead bully Justin’s mother and becomes her bully instead, demanding Stewie’s candy back, demanding Justin’s candy, and $40. But because she does not have any money, Lois takes their welcome mat and says she’ll be back tomorrow for $80.

The same night, Meg decides to go trick-or-treating with her friends and goes to attend a party held at Connie D’Amico’s house. Excited no one can see through her slutty cat costume (even her father, Peter, who said “Ugly Bitches!”) Meg eventually wins at spin the bottle, and (unknown to her) begins making out with her brother Chris who was wearing an Optimus Prime costume while in a dark closet. When Connie opens the closet after they hog the closet for too long, the siblings in their underwear, are immediately shocked at the revelation.

During the credits, Stewie and Brian reminisce of the night while sorting their candy just as Meg and Chris come home. Meg and Chris both make light of the situation by convincing each other that they successfully hooked up with a hot date. Meg states that her date might even call back, but Chris immediately says that she might be disappointed.

A Great Halloween episode, alot of fun stuff in the episode including the commentary regarding Meg’s slutty costume and the pranks by Peter and Joe on Quagmire.

QUAGMIRE’S QUAGMIRE

Peter and Joe help Quagmire pick out a new Apple computer at the mall. Quagmire later calls Peter for help finding his cat pictures, and his computer ends up crashing. Taking it back for service help the next day, the clerk, Sonya, discovers his tastes in porn, and they end up on a date. They find they have a lot in common, but Quagmire wakes up the next morning handcuffed to the bed, discovering he was drugged to have sex, and decides he’s finally found his true love. Telling the guys at The Drunken Clam, they caution him to be careful. Quagmire and Sonya engage in a variety of wild sexual acts, such as having sex at the high school in front of Quagmire’s former (now completely senile) high-school principal, Mr. Goodrich, (who once suspended Quagmire for showing his wiener at school), painting their bodies in black ink and making out until they’ve painted every letter in the Chinese alphabet, and Sonya watching Quagmire having sex with his transgender mother, Ida (née Dan)

At the Drunken Clam, Peter and Joe discover Quagmire hiding black eyes behind sunglasses. They tell him his sex life with Sonya is getting out of hand but Quagmire feels he can’t openly share their concerns in case Sonya overhears. Leaving the Drunken Clam, Sonya meets Quagmire outside, beats him and shuts him in the trunk of his car, claiming that she is satisfying his fantasies of being dominated and humiliated, as she drives away with him. The next day, Ida shows up at Peter’s door and expresses concern that Quagmire hasn’t been seen for days. Joe is also aware that Quagmire hasn’t been around either. The guys search for Quagmire by going to all his usual hangouts. Wandering into a seedy area, they find Sonya has a reputation of sexual instability and are directed to a storage container. Finding Quagmire, they are cornered by Sonya who takes Joe’s gun. He calls her bluff and closes in. She pulls the trigger without result and Joe tackles her, admitting he has to keep his gun unloaded after a mental breakdown in April. Sonya is arrested by Joe while Ida frees Quagmire. Sometime later at the Drunken Clam, Quagmire admits later that he will need to be the really kinky one in his future relationships. He also tells Peter and Joe that he worries about his dad being pregnant.

Meanwhile, Lois and the kids prepare for Halloween. While going though storage, Lois finds Stewie’s first teddy bear, Oscar. Stewie rejects it until he finds himself wavering between Oscar and Rupert. Brian discovers Stewie in the attic playing “tea” with Oscar and he begs Brian not to tell Rupert, claiming he is suicidal. Later, Stewie stomps downstairs claiming to have had a fight with Rupert, and gives him to Brian. While he is spending time with Oscar, Stewie finds Brian humping Rupert and takes him back. Rupert is then forced to choose between Stewie and Brian, falling over towards Stewie which Stewie takes as a sign of choice. Brian is indifferent and drags another one of Stewie’s toys out of the room. As Stewie rejoices with Rupert, he worries about how Oscar will take the news. Oscar is seen having apparently hanged himself in front of a painting of Stewie in the attic.76idaAll in all, I had a really good time with this one. Both plots were really funny, Not your average Halloween episode but still fun.

PETERNORMAL ACTIVITY

Peter, Quagmire, Cleveland, and Joe are disappointed by horror film Manic Pope 2 and decide to write their own horror film at the Quahog Asylum. They get frightened and try to evacuate, but are locked in. They fall into a basement and soon encounter a man with a hook. When they run outside, they decide to punch him to death only to discover that he is the property caretaker Albert who works at the asylum and the hook is due to valor in the Korean War. Albert then dies leaving the four guilty. Although Quagmire wants to confess the murder, Joe recommends against it and they bury the man as well as his nearby car on a hill while they make a pact to keep the murder silent.

Peter has a sleepless night and is faced with coincidences that are similar to the circumstances of the murder. At the Druken Clam, Quagmire keeps denying his involvement in the murder, prompting Peter to head to asylum to frame Quagmire for the murder, but sees that his friends are there, attempting to frame each other. Before they assault each other with shovels, Peter sees this as inspiration for their horror film idea. When the film Cereal Killer is released and is starring John Goodman as Peter Griffin, they have a negative opinion of it upon leaving the theater. Afterwards, they see Albert in a newspaper as he is reported missing and revealed to be a Ku Klux Klan leader who stole war medals. This soothes their guilty conscience. Back at the Quahog Asylum, Albert’s arm with the hook on it rises from his grave. The door to his car also rises in the same manner.Meanwhile, Brian obtains a pair of glasses and begins acting more arrogant than usual, much to Stewie’s annoyance. At a sauna, Stewie plans to destroy the glasses, but it backfires when Chris locks himself, Stewie, and Brian in there all weekend. Once the weekend is over, they get out sporting a near-thin appearance as they run into Mayor Adam West. At home, Stewie succeeds in his mission by hitting Brian with a baseball bat, shattering his lenses into his eyes. Stewie also tells him that dinner will be ready soon since that’s what Lois wanted him to tell the family members.Image result for family guy peternormal activityI thought it was rather clever that the janitor they thought was innocent wasn’t innocent at all. He was a KKK leader who stole war medals.

31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN REVIEW: SCREAM 3

CAST

Neve Campbell (Wild Things)
Courteney Cox (Masters of The Universe)
David Arquette (Eight Legged Freaks)
Jamie Kennedy (Son of The Mask)
Liev Schreiber (The Fifth Wave)
Kelly Rutherford (Gossip Girl)
Heather Matarazzo (The Princvess Diaries)
Beth Toussaint (Red Eye)
Richamond Arquette (Zodiac)
Patrick Dempsey (Transformers 3)
Scott Foley (Felicity)
Lance Henriksen (Aliens)
Jenny McCarthy (Two and a Half Men)
Emily Mortimer (Hugo)
Parker Posey (Superman Returns)
Carrie Fisher (Star Wars)
Patrick Warburton (Family Guy)
Roger Jackson (The Powerpuff Girls)
Kevin Smith (Mallrats)
Jason Mewes (Dogma)

Jenny-McCarthy-Scream-3Three years after the events of the previous film, Cotton Weary, now living in Los Angeles and the host of a nationally syndicated television show, 100% Cotton, is called by Ghostface, who demands the whereabouts of Sidney Prescott, who has gone into hiding ever since the Windsor College murders. Cotton refuses to cooperate, and when Ghostface comes to his home, Cotton and his girlfriend Christine are murdered.S3Detective Mark Kincaid contacts Gale Weathers to discuss the murders, prompting her to travel to Hollywood, where she finds Dewey Riley working as an adviser on the set of Stab 3, the third film in the film within a film series based on the Ghostface murders. Using a voice changer as a ruse, Ghostface kills Stab 3 actress Sarah Darling. Meanwhile, Sidney is now living in seclusion as a crisis counselor for an abused women’s hotline, as she is fearful that another killer may strike. Having discovered Sidney’s number, the killer begins taunting her by phone, forcing her out of hiding and drawing her to Hollywood. As the remaining Stab 3 cast, along with Dewey and Gale, gather at the home of Jennifer Jolie, Ghostface murders her bodyguard and uses a gas leak to cause an explosion, killing fellow actor Tom Prinze in the process. Martha Meeks, the sister of Sidney’s deceased friend Randy, visits Sidney and the others to drop off a videotape that Randy had made before his death, posthumously warning them that the rules of a horror film franchise in the third and final film do not apply to anyone, and that any of them, including the main character (Sidney), could die.scream-3-campbellDewey, Gale, Jennifer, and the remaining Stab 3 actors, Angelina and Tyson, attend a birthday party for Stab 3’s director Roman Bridger, where Ghostface strikes. Gale discovers Roman’s seemingly dead body in the basement. Angelina, refusing to stick with Gale and Jennifer, wanders off alone before she is murdered. Tyson attempts to fight Ghostface but the killer manages to wound him before throwing him off a balcony to his death. Jennifer tries to escape through a secret passage, but Ghostface kills her. The killer then orders Sidney to the mansion to save Gale and Dewey, who are being held hostage. When she arrives, Ghostface forces Sidney to remove her firearm and lures her inside, as Gale and Dewey are bound and gagged with duct tape. As Sidney is untying Gale and Dewey, Ghostface appears, though Sidney gains the upper hand using a second hidden gun to fight off Ghostface. Detective Kincaid shows up but is knocked unconscious by Ghostface.scream-DI-3Sidney flees and hides in a secret screening room where she encounters Ghostface. He reveals himself as Roman, having faked his death and survived being shot due to a bulletproof vest. Roman admits to being Sidney’s half-brother, born to their mother Maureen Prescott when she was an actress in Hollywood. Years ago, he had unsuccessfully tried reuniting with her. Bitter over the rejection, Roman would film all the men she philandered with. He showed Billy Loomis the footage of his father with Maureen, which motivated him to kill her (thus setting off the events in Scream and Scream 2). However, when he discovered how much fame Sidney had attracted due to those events, Roman snapped and lured Sidney out of hiding.Roman then tells Sidney of his plan to frame her for the murders, before killing Stab producer John Milton. Sidney angrily tells Roman that he is responsible for all of the events that have occurred. A fight ensues between Sidney and Roman, ending when Roman shoots Sidney in the chest, seemingly killing her. While preparing for Gale and Dewey to arrive, Sidney disappears, giving her the upper hand to stab Roman in the back. As he slowly dies, Sidney shows him that she too was wearing a bulletproof vest. She then plunges Roman’s knife into his chest, apparently killing him. Dewey and Gale arrive before Roman recovers, only for Dewey to finally kill him. Sometime after, Dewey proposes to Gale, who accepts. Sidney arrives back at her home and is invited to join Dewey, Gale, and Detective Kincaid to watch a movie. As she goes to join the others, a door behind her opens, but she walks away leaving it as is, finally confident that the murders have ended and she is now safe.The suspense of the film is quite good and the audience is continually left guessing who the murderer might be. The killing scenes are at times graphic but will often leave viewers on the edge of their seats. Wes Craven unquestionably proves his mettle as a master of horror and suspense and does a good job of crowning off the trilogy with a good film. While many other horror franchises, including Craven’s Nightmare on Elm Street have gone on to boast a series of eight or more films, Craven deserves a great amount of credit for making the film into a trilogy and settling there. This film does have a number of parallels with “Wes Craven’s New Nightmare,” the first horror film in the genre to truly deconstruct the genre from within, but even for those who have seen “New Nightmare,” Scream 3 is still a very enjoyable film

REVIEW: A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS – SEASON 2

Neil Patrick Harris, Malina Weissman, Louis Hynes, and Presley Smith in A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)

MAIN CAST

Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother)
Patrick Warburton (Family Guy)
Malina Weissman (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Louis Hynes (Barbarians Rising)
Dylan Kingwell (BIg EYes)
Avi Lake (Meeting Evil)
K. Todd Freeman (Buffy: The Vampire Slayer)
Presley Smith
Tara Strong (Batman: The KIlling Joke)
Lucy Punch (The Wedding Video)

 

Malina Weissman, Kitana Turnbull, Louis Hynes, and Presley Smith in A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Roger Bart (Trumbo)
Sara Rue (Mom)
Malcolm Stewart (Moon)
Tony Hale (Chuck)
Nathan Fillion (Santa Clarita Diet)
Carol Mansell (In The Light of The Moon)
Mindy Sterling (Austin Powers)
Ken Jenkins (The Abyss)
Kerri Kenney-Silver (Reno 911!)
David Alan Grier (Jumanji)
Robbie Amell (The FLash)
Bonnie Morgan (Terminator: TSCC)
Sara Canning (The Vampire Diaries)
Patrick Breen (Get Shorty)
Cleo King (Mike & Molly)
Catherine O’Hara (Home Alone)
Aasif Mandvi (Spider-Man 2)
Alfre Woodard (Luke Cage)
Allison Williams (Get Out)

 

 

Malina Weissman and Louis Hynes in A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)At the beginning of the new season of A Series of Unfortunate Events, Klaus and Violet Baudelaire (Louis Hynes and Malina Weissman) delivers lines laced with irony. “It feels like we’ve been sitting on this bench for months,” complains Violet. “We’ve been waiting so long Sunny is starting to look less like a baby and more like a toddler,” Klaus agrees, to the consternation of baby sister Sunny herself (Presley Smith).Neil Patrick Harris, Malina Weissman, and Louis Hynes in A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)Sure, it may have been a year-long wait between series, but once you click on the first episode it feels like almost no time has passed in the Netflix series. Season two immediately throws us back into the miserable lives of the Baudelaire children, narrated by fictional author Lemony Snicket (Patrick Warburton) as they flee from the grasping clutches of the evil Count Olaf (Neil Patrick Harris).  As before, each of “Snicket’s” books (actually by Daniel Handler, who’s written some scripts for the series) is adapted over two episodes and follow a similar format: the orphans are shunted off to a new guardian by Mr Poe (K. Todd Freeman) and confronted by Count Olaf in disguise before using their special skills to foil his latest plot to steal their fortune. Their guardian also usually dies, unfortunately, which might explain why this year fewer and fewer suitable adults seem keen to have the Baudelaires on their doorstep.Sure, there are new enemies for Sunny, Klaus and Violet this year – including a very rich trendsetter played by Lucy Punch, a village of mean-spirited crow-lovers and a manic school principal – and a few new allies (most notably Nathan Fillion as the dashing Jacques Snicket and some sweet schoolfriends called the Quagmires), but for all intents and purposes these new episodes could have just slotted on to the end of the last series. And to be honest, that’s a great thing. The consistency and quality of this adaptation is wonderful to behold, especially if you’re a fan of the original book series who never thought its unique tone and vaguely gothic world could be faithfully brought to screen.Neil Patrick Harris and Lucy Punch in A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)In the books, the Baudelaires never felt truly safe, and in a strange sort of way that was part of the appeal – a kind of vicarious danger, as well as the satisfaction of seeing the children free themselves from the clutches of evil or incompetent adults with nothing but their wits. Going into this series, I knew we’d be faced with some of the biggest gut-punch moments of the books – one at the end of the Austere Academy story, another inside a big lift and the other involving a giant red fish. On screen, they really don’t land quite as well as they did in print, where every scrap of happiness found by the Baudelaires is continually snatched away. In the back half of the series – as the Baudelaires decide to be more proactive in their hunt for answers about the enigmatic VFD organisation – things do start to take a darker, weirder turn that fans of the books will be happy to recognise.Neil Patrick Harris, John DeSantis, Lucy Punch, Jacqueline Robbins, Joyce Robbins, Matty Cardarople, and Usman Ally in A Series of Unfortunate Events (2017)There’s no denying this is a brilliantly awful return to form for Snicket and Netflix’s disturbing world. Fingers crossed next year’s final series can keep up the quality to give the Baudelaires the grim, strange end we deserve.

REVIEW: HOME ON THE RANGE

CAST

Roseanne Barr (Roseanne)
Judi Dench (Shakespeare In Love)
Jennifer Tilly (Cult of Chucky)
Cuba Gooding Jr. (Jerry Maguire)
Randy Quaid (Brokeback Mountain)
Steve Buscemi (Fargo)
Richard Riehle (Of Mice and Men)
Lance LeGault (The A-Team)
Dennis Weaver (Duel)
Patrick Warburton (Family Guy)

Home on the Range (2004)Maggie is the only cow left on the Dixon Ranch after Alameda Slim (a cattle rustler capable of stealing 500 in a single night) stole all the rest of Mr. Dixon’s cattle. Dixon sells Maggie to Pearl, a kind and elderly woman who runs a small farm called Patch of Heaven. The local Sheriff arrives to tell Pearl that her bank is cracking down on debtors. Pearl has three days to pay the bank $750, or her farm will be sold to the highest bidder. Hearing this, Maggie convinces the other cows on the farm (Grace, a happy-go-lucky character, and Mrs. Caloway, who has had leadership go to her head) to go to town to attempt winning prize money at a fair. While the cows are in town, a bounty hunter named Rico (whom Buck, the Sheriff’s horse, idolizes) drops a criminal off and collects the reward. Stating he needs a replacement horse to go after Alameda Slim while his own horse rests, he takes Buck. When Maggie find out that the reward for capturing Slim is exactly $750, she convinces the other cows to try to capture him to save Patch of Heaven.Home on the Range (2004)That night, they hide among a large herd of steers, when Alameda Slim appears. Before any of them can do anything, Slim begins a yodeling song which sends all the cattle (except Grace, who is tone deaf) into a trance that causes them to dance madly and follow Slim anywhere. Grace is able to bring Maggie and Mrs. Caloway back to their senses just before Slim closes the path behind him with a rock-slide to stop Rico and his men from chasing him. As Rico discusses with his men what his next move will be, Buck starts talking with Maggie, Grace, and Mrs. Caloway as old friends and miming actions. This causes Rico to believe Buck is frightened by cows, so he sends Buck back to the Sheriff. Buck escapes, determined to capture Slim for himself to prove his worth.Home on the Range (2004)Maggie, Grace, and Mrs. Caloway continue their search for Slim, determined to pass Buck and get to Slim first, but they have a fallout when they lose the trail in a downpour. Mrs. Caloway accuses Maggie of wanting to go after Slim only as a personal vendetta, arguing that she and Grace are better off without Maggie. The three spend the night under a large rock, with Maggie deciding to leave the next morning while Grace and Mrs. Caloway decide to return to Patch of Heaven to say their final farewells. The next morning, however, they are awakened by a peg-legged rabbit named Lucky Jack, who has also lost his home, an old mine, to Alameda Slim. Maggie decides to go after Slim with Lucky Jack in tow, but Grace convinces Mrs. Caloway that they help. Lucky Jack leads the three cows to Slim’s hideout in Echo Mine. At the mine, Slim reveals that he has been stealing all cattle from his former patrons. When his former patrons can no longer support their land, Slim buys the land when it is auctioned off, under the guise of the respectable-looking Yancy O’Dell, using the very money he gets from selling the cattle he stole.Home on the Range (2004)After arriving at Slim’s hideout, the cows capture Slim. They run off with Slim’s accomplices and buyer in pursuit on a steam train. Rico arrives. When the chase stops, Rico is revealed to work for Slim. Crushed by this, Buck decides to help the cows and fights Rico while setting the other cattle free. Slim dons his Yancy O’Dell costume and leaves the cows stranded in the middle of the desert with the train, while he goes to attend the auction. However, the cows arrive using the train to the farm and expose Slim. Slim is arrested, and Patch of Heaven is saved by the reward money. A few weeks pass, and at the county fair most of the livestock on Patch of Heaven have won prizes. ‘Lucky’ Jack Rabbit moves in with Jebb the Goat, and two steer and Slim’s charming and gentlemanly steed Junior the Buffalo arrive unexpectedly to live at Patch of Heaven, expanding the farm.Home on the Range (2004)I don’t see just why it is that people don’t like this film. It has good music, good animation, and funny dialogue, but it is fairly sappy. I thought that it was fairly good, even though the plot is just a wee bit weak. Fortunately, the plot is peppered with many humorous events and turns which clear any and all flaws up.

CHRISTMAS 2017 REVIEW: FAMILY GUY – THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES – PART 3

TYUYTU

MAIN CAST (VOICES)

Seth MacFarlane (Flashforward)
Alex Borstein (Power Rangers Zeo)
Seth Green (IT)
Mila Kunis (Black Swan)
Mike Henry (Ted)
Patrick Warburton (Scream 3)

Don’t Be a Dickens at Christmas

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Carrie Fisher (Star Wars)

JTYUJYTJTYJTYJTYAs Peter looks forward to enjoying the holidays at home, he finds that Lois expects him to participate in a number of other activities including vising a homeless shelter and spending Christmas with her parents. When he complains, she decides to leave him at home alone and takes the kids with her. While watching a Patrick Swayze film, he falls asleep and awakens to find Swayze as his guide in order to help him find his Christmas spirit. They visit his past where he spent a happy Christmas with his mom and peek in on several of the citizens of Quahog celebrating Christmas in the present. But in Peter’s future, he finds he has died and is forced to exist only as an aged Brian’s dog farts. He rushes to the Pewterschmidts to be with the family, but joins Patrick in a final dance to close out the episode.TYUTYUYUTYUAnother great festive Family Guy, strange in places but very entertaining, a must for the holidays.

 

CHRISTMAS 2017 REVIEW: FAMILY GUY – THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES – PART 2

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MAIN CAST

Seth MacFarlane (Flashforward)
Alex Borstein (Big Bad Beetleborgs)
Seth Green (Idle Hands)
Mila Kunis (Ted)
Mike Henry (The Cleveland Show)
Patrick Warburton (Men In Black 2)
Adam West (Batman 60s)
Jennifer Tilly (Bride of Chucky)

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GUEST CAST

Ty Simpkins (Jurassic World)

When Quahog experiences a snow day during the holiday season, Peter ruins Lois’ grandmother’s antique table in one of his stunts. When they go to the mall to replace it, Chris gets the idea to sit on Santa’s lap and ask for a trampoline, an idea endorsed by Peter, but when the line refuses to move they find the mall is without a Santa. Pressed into service as a replacement, Peter discovers the job comes with numerous benefits. Leaving the Fuzzy Clam in a drunken stupor with dinner, he runs into the real Santa who is annoyed at his behavior and threatens him with the naughty list if he refuses to give up being Santa. Peter calls his bluff and they engage in a war of pranks, but when the real Santa has had enough of such games, he slips his belt as a garrote around Peter’s neck and gives him a final warning to give up the job. Frightened, Peter agrees, but to show there is no hard feelings, Santa gives him a Penthouse as a gift that Peter originally found when he was twelve.Meanwhile, Stewie discovers that Brian has been crashing office Christmas parties in hopes of scoring food and women, although without luck. Stewie turns up to get a laugh at his attempts, but has a great time instead and tags along on further attempts. To liven up an otherwise dead party at a printer company, Stewie threatens the lightest drinkers with dismissal, which inspires the real boss to follow though with the threat and Stewie stays on as an employee. When he realizes that people have lost their jobs because of him, and further threats from the boss, he takes it upon himself to cut the remaining employees checks for $11,000 each, which was the extent of his ability.

All in all, “How the Griffin Stole Christmas” is an enjoyable episode. The funniest joke may have been when they make fun of those weird FarmersOnly.com farmer dating ads. Laughed my ass off. Another great Christmas episode to enjoy around the holiday season.