REVIEW: THE HAUNTING (1999)

 

CAST

Liam Neeeson (Batman Begins)
Catherine Zeta Jones (Chicago)
Owen Wilson (Wedding Crashers)
Lili Taylor (The Conjuring)
Bruce Dern (Django Unchained)
Virginia Madsen (Highlander 2)
M.C. Gainey (Lost)

FEkT

Eleanor “Nell” Lance (Lili Taylor) has cared for her invalid mother for 11 years. After her mother dies, her sister Jane (Virginia Madsen) and Jane’s boyfriend Lou (Tom Irwin) eject her. Nell receives a phone call about an insomnia study, directed by Dr. David Marrow (Liam Neeson) at Hill House, a secluded manor in the Berkshires of western Massachusetts, and applies for it. At the house, she meets Mr. and Mrs. Dudley (Bruce Dern, Marian Seldes), a strange pair of caretakers. Two other participants arrive, Luke Sanderson (Owen Wilson) and Theodora (Catherine Zeta-Jones), along with Dr. Marrow and his two research assistants. Unknown to the participants, Dr. Marrow’s true purpose is to study the psychological response to fear, intending to expose his subjects to increasing amounts of terror. Each night, the caretakers chain the gate outside Hill House, preventing anyone from getting in or out until morning. During their first night, Dr. Marrow relates the story of Hill House. The house was built by Hugh Crain (Charles Gunning)—a 19th-century textile tycoon.
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Crain built the house for his wife, hoping to populate it with a large family of children; however, all of Crain’s children died during their birth. Crain’s wife Renee killed herself before the house was finished and Crain became a recluse. After the story, Marrow’s assistant’s face is slashed by a snapped clavichord wire. The freak accident causes Marrow’s research assistants to leave. Nell begins to suspect that it was no accident, as she notices that the wire was unwound by someone or something. Theo and Nell begin to experience unusual happenings within the house, such as a mysterious force trying to open the door, Nell starts seeing ghosts of children in curtains and sheets, Hugh Crain’s wood portrait morphs into a skeletal face and is vandalized with the words “Welcome Home Eleanor” written in blood. Theo and Luke try to establish their innocence, but Nell tells them that they don’t know her.
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Nell becomes determined to prove that the house is haunted by ghostly children who are only terrorized and killed by Crain’s cruelty. She learns that Crain kidnapped the children from his cotton mills and slaughtered them, then burned their bodies in the fireplace, trapping their ghosts and forcing them to remain with him, providing him with an ‘eternal family’. She also learns that Crain had a second wife named Carolyn, from whom she is descended. Dr. Marrow is skeptical of Eleanor’s claims, until he realizes he made a mistake by bringing them to Hill House when a statue tries to drown him in a pool of water in a greenhouse. After several more terrifying events, Nell insists that she cannot leave the ghosts of the kids to suffer for eternity at Crain’s hands. Trying to convince Eleanor to leave the house with them, Theo offers to let Nell move in with her, but Nell reveals her relation to Carolyn and claims she must help the children to “move on” to the afterlife.

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Hugh Crain’s ghost seals up the house, trapping them all inside. A frustrated Luke defaces a portrait of Hugh Crain. Crain’s enraged spirit drags Luke to the fireplace where he is decapitated. Nell is able to lead Crain’s spirit towards an iron door. The spirits pull Crain into the door, dragging him down to Hell. Nell is pulled with him, inflicting fatal trauma on her body, but the ghosts gently release her on the ground. Her ghost rises up to Heaven, accompanied by the children’s ghosts. After Nell’s death and when she moved on to Heaven along with the ghosts, Theo and Dr. Marrow wait by the gate outside until the Dudleys come in the morning.

The Dudleys approach as the sun rises. Mr. Dudley asks Dr. Marrow if he found what he wanted to know, but the traumatized psychiatrist does not give an answer, and neither does Theo. When the gate opens, the two silently walk out and down the road, leaving Hill House behind them.

Its not particularly scary, however it is a fabulous storyline. Has a great cast, Liam Neeson, Owen Wilson, Lily (can’t remember her name!) and Catherine Zeta Jones before she got really famous.

 

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REVIEW: WEDDING CRASHERS

CAST

Owen Wilson (Zoolander)
Vince Vaughn (Swingers)
Christopher Walken (The Prophecy)
Rachel McAdams (Sherlock Holmes)
Isla FIsher (Grimsby)
Jane Seymour (Smallville)
Ellen Albertini Dow (Patch Adams)
Keir O’Donnell (Paul Blart: Mall Cop)
Bradley Cooper (Joy)
Henry Gibson (Sabrina: The Teenage Witch)
Ron Canada (Ted 2)
Jennifer Alden (Surrogates)
Dwight Yoakam (Panic Room)
Will Ferrell (Elf)
Kathryn Joosten (Desperate Housewives)
Rebecca De Mornay (The Hand That Rocks The Cradle)
David Conrad (Agents of SHIELD)
Geoff Stults (The Finder)

John Beckwith (Owen Wilson) and Jeremy Grey (Vince Vaughn) are divorce mediators in Washington D.C. who “crash” wedding parties to meet and bed women. At the end of a season of successful crashes, Jeremy takes John to a wedding for the daughter of the U.S. Secretary of the Treasury, William Cleary (Christopher Walken). Once inside, the pair set their sights on Cleary’s other daughters, Gloria (Isla Fisher) and Claire (Rachel McAdams). Jeremy ends up having sex with Gloria on a nearby beach during the reception. Gloria is possessive and quickly becomes obsessed with Jeremy, and Jeremy urges John to escape the reception with him.Meanwhile, John attempts to court Claire, the maid of honor, but is interrupted by her hotheaded boyfriend, Sack Lodge (Bradley Cooper), who is unfaithful and disrespectful behind her back. When Gloria invites Jeremy and John to an extended weekend party at their family compound, John overrules Jeremy to accept and get closer to Claire. John and Jeremy become acquainted with the Clearys at their home: the Secretary’s wife (Jane Seymour) sexually harasses John; Gloria’s brother Todd (Keir O’Donnell) tries to seduce Jeremy during the night; Gloria continues to lavish unwanted sexual attention on Jeremy; and Sack repeatedly injures Jeremy during a game of touch football. At dinner, John spikes Sack’s wine with eye-drops to make him sick and get more time to connect with Claire.John and Claire continue to bond the next day on a sailing trip. The suspicious Sack takes the men on a hunting trip, where Jeremy is shot in the buttocks. While he recovers, John and Claire go on a bike ride to a secluded beach. Claire finally admits she isn’t sure how she feels about Sack and ends up kissing John passionately. Meanwhile, Gloria tends to Jeremy’s wounds and reveals to him that she is not as innocent or inexperienced as she initially let on. Jeremy realizes that he himself has been played and that he may be in love with Gloria.Ready to confess everything to Claire to convince her not to marry Sack, John is interrupted by Jeremy being chased out of the house: Sack has investigated and revealed John and Jeremy’s identities to the family. Betrayed, Claire turns away from John and the Secretary tells them to leave. Over the following months, John attempts to reach Claire but she refuses to see him. He attempts to crash Claire and Sack’s engagement party but is caught and beaten by Sack. Confronting Jeremy about abandoning him, he learns that Jeremy has secretly continued his relationship with Gloria. Betrayed, John spirals into depression, crashing weddings alone and becoming nihilistic and suicidal. Meanwhile, as Claire and Sack plan their wedding, Claire’s doubts grow. Jeremy proposes to Gloria and tries to ask John to be his best man, but a depressed John refuses.936full-wedding-crashers-screenshot1John visits Jeremy’s former wedding crashing mentor, Chazz Reinhold (an uncredited Will Ferrell), who convinces him to crash a funeral. While there, he reconsiders his belief in love and marriage and rushes to Jeremy’s wedding. John joins the wedding mid-ceremony to Jeremy’s delight, but Claire is upset by his appearance, prompting John to profess his love to her and his regret for his past behavior in front of the congregation. Sack interrupts, but Claire finally tells him that she can’t marry him. Sack tries to attack John, but Jeremy intervenes to knock him out, and John and Claire kiss. After the wedding, the two couples drive away from the ceremony together, discussing crashing another wedding together, apparently skipping Jeremy’s own wedding reception.wedding_crashers

I admit Wedding Crashers is far from perfect, at time situations seem too contrived, the nudity is laughably gratuitous, and Claire’s evil fiancée Sack (Bradley Cooper) is an almost too heavy-handed device to make Wilson look good. But if you can look past all that, and simply accept it for what it is, you’re left with a very funny film.

REVIEW: FREE BIRDS

CAST (VOICES)

Owen Wilson (Wedding Crashers)
Woody Harrelson (The Hunger Games)
Amy Poehler (Mean Girls)
Goerge Takei (Star Trek)
Keith David (Pitch Black)
Dan Fogler (Fantastic Beasts)
Colm Meaney (A Belfast Story)
Kaitlyn Maher (Santa Paws 2)
Robert Beltran (Star Trek: Voyager)
Lesley Nicol (West is West)
Scott Mosier (Clerks)

Reggie the turkey has always been afraid of Thanksgiving because turkeys have always been on the menu, but his attempts to warn his farm-based flock constantly fall on deaf ears and has made him an outcast. When the other turkeys finally realize what is going on, they throw Reggie outside in an attempt to save themselves. In a surprise twist of fate, he winds up being named the “pardoned turkey” by the President of the United States and is subsequently taken to Camp David. Although initially hesitant, Reggie soon eases into a routine of doing nothing but enjoying pizza delivered to him by the “Pizza Dude” and watching Mexican telenovelas.He gets bag-kidnapped by Jake, a member of the Turkey Freedom Front who tells him that a “Great Turkey” told him to find Reggie and take him back to the first Thanksgiving with him to take turkeys off the menu once and for all. They then infiltrate the base where a time machine is located. Despite interference by federal officials and an attempt by Reggie to trick him back to the surface, Jake manages to commandeer an egg-shaped time machine with an A.I. software named S.T.E.V.E (Space Time Exploration Vehicle Envoy). Jake instructs S.T.E.V.E. to time-travel back to the same day in 1621, three days before the first Thanksgiving. Once there, they are ambushed by colonial hunters led by Myles Standish, but they are quickly rescued by native turkeys led by Chief Broadbeak and his two children, Ranger and Jenny.Broadbeak explains that the turkeys in the area have been forced underground since the settlers came and that they cannot risk fighting back without the settlers taking them. The next day, Broadbeak orders Jake with Ranger to spy on the settlers and Reggie with Jenny to spring all the hunting traps the humans set up. Despite initial hostility, Ranger and Jake find out that the settlers have already begun preparations for Thanksgiving and where they keep their weapons. Meanwhile, Jenny believes in Reggie for lying about being from the future and is impressed with his accidental unorthodox way of springing the traps. However, they are soon intercepted by Standish and Reggie is forced to get her in orbit over the planet aboard S.T.E.V.E., validating everything he said in the process. Reggie asks Jenny to go back to the future with him once everything blows over, but she refuses to leave the flock no matter how much she likes him. Jake then drags Reggie away and tells him he has a plan to attack the settlers. However, Reggie has gotten sick of all his improbable stories and threatens to leave.Desperate, Jake tells him that this trip was more about him making up for his failure to save turkey eggs while escaping a turkey-fattening facility when he was young, maintaining that the Great Turkey convinced him to go through with this. While still reluctant to believe what he said, Reggie still goes along with the plan. They manage to use gunpowder to destroy the weapons shack, but Jake inadvertently leaves a gunpowder trail back to the tree the turkeys are hiding under. Standish and his men flush the turkeys out from underground, capturing enough for the feast. Broadbeak sacrifices his life to get the remaining turkeys into the tide pool. Afterward, Reggie returns home, where he discovers from S.T.E.V.E. that he is the Great Turkey. Jenny is sworn in as the new chief and orders the remaining turkeys to prepare an attack on the settlers.Jenny, Jake and Ranger lead the turkeys in an attack on the settlement just as Chief Massasoit and his tribe of Indians arrive. Inspired, Reggie goes back in time to stop the attack, inadvertently trapping Standish in the time stream. Through S.T.E.V.E. and the Pizza Dude, Reggie convinces the settlers and the Indians that pizza is a more acceptable food than turkeys, taking them off the Thanksgiving menu entirely. Reggie stays with Jenny while Jake takes S.T.E.V.E. in order to look for new adventures. In the mid-credits, Jake returns moments after leaving Reggie and Jenny. With a chicken and duck in his wings, Jake starts to tell every turkey present about the turducken.A great fun family entertainment, worth watching on a rainy day.

REVIEW: I SPY (2002)

CAST

Eddie Murphy (Dr. Dolittle)
Owen Wilson (Wedding Crashers)
Famke Janssen (X-Men)
Malcolm McDowell (Halloween)
Gary Cole (Santa Fe)
Phillip David Lewis (Pretty Ugly People)
Lynda Boyd (Sanctuary)
Bill Mondy (Blade: The Series)
Mike Dopud (Arrow)
Aleks Paunovic (Kindergarten Cop 2)
Crystal Lowe (Insomnia)

At the Bureau of National Security headquarters, Special Agent Alex Scott is accosted by his rival, Carlos, before being briefed on his next mission. Scott is assigned to recover a stolen fighter, the “Switchblade,” plane sold to arms dealer Arnold Gundars. Gundars is sponsoring Middleweight world boxing champion Kelly Robinson’s next match and using the event to auction the plane. The agency has contacted Robinson and assigned him to be the civilian cover for Scott’s mission. Scott and Robinson travel to Budapest, where Scott plans to penetrate Gundars’ compound during a pre-fight party.

Arriving in Budapest, Robinson is kidnapped. During the interrogation Scott bursts in, frees Robinson, and fights the kidnappers before revealing this was a test which Kelly passed by not divulging Scott’s identity. At Gundars’s party, Robinson replaces Gundars’s pen with a duplicate fitted with a tracking device before confronting his European challenger in the party’s boxing ring. Scott, posing as a member of Robinson’s entourage, uses this as a diversion to enter Gundars’ private office and hack his computer. Robinson arrives unexpectedly and trips an alarm. The two are forced to escape and manage to evade their pursuers by hiding in a sewer.

After returning to base, Robinson coaches Scott into winning Agent Rachel Wright by feeding him lines from the song “Sexual Healing” by Marvin Gaye. Scott succeeds, but is interrupted by movement on the pen tracking device. He tracks Gundars to a bathhouse, which Scott believes is a dead end. Robinson has a hunch that the plane is hidden in the building, leading the two into a fight with Gundars’s men. Gundars speeds off in his car, with Wright in pursuit. Wright’s car explodes and Scott blames Robinson for her death. The two engage in a public confrontation that leads to Robinson’s arrest. Scott convinces the BNS that the operation can continue and tracks Gundars down again.

Robinson reaches the arena just in time for his fight. Scott finds Gundars with terrorists busy fitting the plane with a nuclear missile. Scott takes the men by surprise and forces them to surrender, before being disarmed by Agent Wright, who reveals she is a double agent. Wright tortures Scott for the Switchblade’s activation codes. Scott activates the contact lens gadget, allowing Robinson to see the dilemma as he battles his opponent in the ring. Robinson gets knocked down for the first time in his career, but recovers, defeats his opponent, and departs for the bridge. Robinson sets off a firefight which kills many of the terrorists. After Carlos lands in a parachute, Robinson infers that Carlos is also corrupt. When Carlos provokes Kelly, he knocks him out, scattering the terrorists for them to take cover. Robinson takes out the remaining terrorists, while their leader, Zhu Tam, and Gundars are both killed by Wright. After the bomb on the plane is destroyed, Robinson tells Rachel to put the gun down. Wright makes up a lie that the BNS suspected that Carlos was corrupt and says that they pretended to team up with Carlos so they can catch him and uses this to convince the others that she is innocent. The confusion leads to a fight between Scott and Carlos, allowing Wright to escape with Gundars’ briefcase. Scott and Robinson attempt to fly the Switchblade away, but it crashes into the river. While in the water, Robinson discovers the nuclear weapon. Scott realizes the mission is a success after all, and Robinson remarks that he will be recognized as a hero.

Later in Monte Carlo, Scott and Robinson track down Agent Wright and place her under arrest. Scott turns up a copy of USA Today and sees a picture of Carlos in a parade with President Bush. Robinson takes this news hard, and refuses to accompany Scott to BNS headquarters for a mission debrief. Scott tells Robinson the agency has perfected a jelly-like substance that will allow its wearer to float through the air. Robinson happily agrees to go, and Scott tells another agent to retrieve some jars of jelly and two parachutes.Overall this was kinda overlooked at the UK box office and I think it was because it was very slight and flimsy. However for gentle laughs based on good banter rather than set up jokes, this is a surprisingly fun comedy despite not sticking in your mind for longer than 15 minutes after you watch it.

REVIEW: AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS

CAST

Jackie Chan (Rush Hour)
Owen Wilson (Wedding Crashers)
Steve Coogan (The Other Guys)
Jim Broadbent (The Legend of Tarzan)
Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator)
Luke Wilson (Charlies Angels)
John CLeese (Rat Race)
Cécile de France (The Jungle Book)
David Ryall (Outnumbered)
Roger Hammond (Rome)
Ian McNeice (Dune)
Kathy Bates (Misery)
Rob Scneider (Big Daddy)
Ewen Bremner (Trainspotting)
Adam Godley (Powers)
Will Forte (MacGruber)
Maggie Q (Divergent)
Mark Addy (Game of Thrones)

In the late 19th century, a Chinese man, Lau Xing, robs the Bank of England. To evade the police, Xing becomes the valet for Phileas Fogg, an inventor, taking the pseudonym Passepartout. Phileas, just before Xing arrived, had been trying to break the 50-mph speed barrier, and after succeeding with the help of Passepartout, they head to the Royal Academy of Science. There, Fogg is insulted by the other “brilliant minds”, in particular Lord Kelvin, who believes that everything worth discovering has already been discovered. After a debate between the scientists about the bank thief, Phileas is pressured into a bet to see whether he can travel around the world in 80 days. If he wins, he will become Minister of Science in Lord Kelvin’s place, if not, he will destroy his lab and never invent anything again. Phileas and Xing start their journey around the world, taking a carriage and leaving London after a confrontation with Inspector Fix, a corrupt officer hired by Lord Kelvin to stop them.

Xing and Phileas journey to Paris. Pretending to take Phileas to a convention with Thomas Edison, Xing leads him to an art school where Phileas meets Monique La Roche, a would-be impressionist. There, Xing is attacked by disguised warriors, the Black Scorpions, sent by General Fang, a female Chinese warlord who is after the Jade Buddha that he stole. Fang had previously given it to Kelvin in exchange for military assistance in China. When Monique learns of Phileas’s ambition, she convinces them to take her with them. They depart in a hot-air balloon, chased by Fang’s warriors.

Whilst on the Orient Express, Monique learns that Xing is trying to return the Jade Buddha back to his village, and is travelling with Phileas to get there quickly. Monique keeps his secret in exchange for him convincing Phileas to let her travel with him. They travel to Turkey, where the train stops. Guards climb onboard and inform the trio that they are greeted by Prince Hapi. During the Prince’s banquet, he orders Monique to stay as his seventh wife while the men are ordered to leave. The men blackmail Prince Hapi into releasing Monique using a prized but apparently flimsy “The Thinker” statue of the Prince. The statue is destroyed, much to Hapi’s anger, but the trio escape from the guards. Lord Kelvin, learning that Phileas has been abetting a thief’s escape, orders the British colonial authorities in India to arrest both. Xing notices this and warns his companions, disguising themselves as Indian women to evade capture and successfully flee to China.

Xing leads his friends to his village, Lanzhou, where they are happily greeted. His real identity is revealed and they are held captive by the Black Scorpions. Xing challenges the leader of the group to a fight, during which he is joined by the martial arts masters of the “Ten Tigers of Canton”, of which Xing is a member. The Tigers drive the Black Scorpions from the village and free the Westerners. The Buddha is returned to the village temple. Phileas, feeling used by Xing and Monique, leaves for San Francisco alone, only to be proven wrong when the latter decide to help him win his bet. In New York City, Fang’s disguised minions trick the trio to an ambush site. Fang reveals the nature of their arrangements with Lord Kelvin to take Lanzhou and tap the jade reserves underneath it. A battle against Fang and her minions commences in the workshop where the Statue of Liberty is being constructed, resulting in Phileas missing a boat to help Xing, Fang being knocked out by Monique with a punch (revealing Monique to be the fabled 11th Tiger) and Fang’s minions being either killed or knocked out. Phileas feels he has lost, but the other two say they may still make it if they catch the next ship.

They board an old ship and Phileas convinces the captain to let him build a plane out of the ship’s old wood in exchange for a new ship. Using an altered version of the Wright brothers’ plans, Phileas builds the plane while the ship’s crew builds a catapult to launch it into the sky. They reach London, where the machine falls apart and they crash in front of the Royal Academy. Lord Kelvin sends police to arrest them for robbing the bank, in order to stop them from making it to the top step of the Academy, and proclaims himself the victor when Big Ben strikes noon, seemingly ending the wager. Monique, Fix and other ministers attest to Kelvin’s unfair methods and his bullying nature, but Kelvin scoffs at them. In the process he insults Queen Victoria, who arrives on the scene. She learned that he had sold her arsenal to Fang in exchange for jade mines in China thanks to one of his aides. Kelvin is arrested and sent to prison, and Phileas realizes he is one day early thanks to crossing the international date line. He victoriously ascends the stairs of the Academy and kisses Monique.

The end result is a beautiful film that is suitable for all ages and provides that wonderful feel-good sensation that only the greatest adventures can provide.

REVIEW: STARSKY & HUTCH (2004)

CAST

Ben Stiller (Along Came Polly)
Owen Wilson (Armageddon)
Vince Vaughn (Swingers)
Snoop Dogg (Scary Movie 5)
Jason Bateman (Identity Thief)
Fred Williamson (From Dusk Till Dawn)
Will Ferrell (Elf)
Amy Smart (The Butterfly Effect)
Carmen Electra (The Butterfly Effect)
Juliette Lewis (Natural Born Killers)
Molly Sims (Yes Man)
George Cheung (Robocop 2)
Chris Penn (Resevoir Dogs)
Terry Crews (Serving Sara)
Patton Oswalt (Dollhouse)
Paul Michael Glaser (Attack of Fear)
David Soul (Magnum Force)
Rachael Harris (The Hangover)

The movie takes place in the 1970s. The story centers around two cops who work for the Bay City Police Department. Detective David Starsky (Ben Stiller) is a loud, macho acting cop who loves his Ford Gran Torino, and recklessly pursues people for minor offenses, and Detective Ken ‘Hutch’ Hutchinson (Owen Wilson), is a cool easy-going cop, who sometimes actually works alongside criminals, claiming to be undercover, to investigate their activity. The two cops are made partners, almost as punishment for their recent shenanigans. Meanwhile, Jewish-American drug kingpin, Reese Feldman (Vince Vaughn), and his partner-in-crime, Kevin (Jason Bateman), are planning to bring in a shipment of drugs worth millions of dollars. They have developed a new type of cocaine which is untraceable in scent and taste. When Feldman finds out that one of his drug pushers failed a drug transport operation, he kills him and leaves the body in the ocean.Starsky and Hutch are called to the scene where the body of the murdered pusher washes up a few days later. A clue from the dead man leads them to Feldman’s house for questioning. Feldman denies any knowledge of the crime and states his regret for the man’s death, but his wife mentions that the pusher had been dating a cheerleader. During questioning Hutch admires Feldman’s boat, to which Feldman replies “It’s a yacht.” After meeting cheerleaders, Stacey (Carmen Electra) and Holly (Amy Smart), they learn from another cheerleader, Heather (Brande Roderick), that a jacket worn by the dead pusher was made by Big Earl (Will Ferrell). Their street-wise, underworld contact, Huggy Bear (Snoop Dogg) directs the two to a motorcycle bar operated by Big Earl. Starsky and Hutch go undercover to the bar dressed as the characters “Captain America” and “Billy” from the film Easy Rider.Discovering Big Earl is in jail, they go to the prison to speak with Big Earl, who has connections with Feldman’s drug business. Big Earl, who is implied to be gay and has an obsession with dragons, then makes the officers do embarrassing things to get what they want. He gives them a packet of what they think is cocaine. When it is taken to the lab for testing, Doby (Fred Williamson), their captain, angered and humiliated about their interview (which was caught on security camera) tells them it is ‘artificial sweetener’ and takes them off the floater assignment. The duo invite Stacy and Holly to Starsky’s place where Starsky puts the ‘sweetener’ in his coffee while Hutch sings Don’t Give Up on Us (the original of which was actually recorded by David Soul, the original “Hutch”). Starsky, Hutch, Stacey, and Holly go to a disco where Starsky, while suffering the effects of the drug, challenges an arrogant dancer to a dance off, and goes crazy when he loses. Hutch takes him home and proceeds to have a threesome with Holly and Stacey.Feldman continues to be the main suspect of the duo’s investigation, after they are assaulted by an Asian dealer and his knife-throwing son, and the dealer mentions that his boss “had a yacht.” Further investigation leads them to believe that Feldman stores drugs in his garage, and during his daughter’s Bat Mitzvah, they go undercover as mimes attempting to locate the drugs. After confronting Feldman, Starsky shoots the lock off the garage door, accidentally shooting and killing a pony inside. As a result, Captain Doby indefinitely suspends both of them. Starsky tries to cover for Hutch, but Doby reveals that Starsky had filed a complaint against Hutch weeks ago, right after they first became partners. Starsky tries to explain, but the partners argue, and it leads to a split in their friendship.Meanwhile, Hutch’s young neighbor, Willis (Jeffrey Lorenzo), whom Hutch watches on Wednesdays, is involved in a bomb blast in Hutch’s house, and breaks his leg (the bomb was intended for Hutch). Starsky comes to visit Willis in the hospital where a “who’s at fault” argument with Hutch, finally leads to reconciliation. They both decide to go after Feldman and put an end to his drug business. With help from Huggy Bear, who grudingly acts as a golf caddie for Reese, they learn that Feldman plans to sell the drugs at a charity ball by hiding them in Volkswagen Karmann Ghias to be given away to preplanned dope pushers.The disguised duo manage to enter the party and hold up Feldman, pretending to be winners of a car. Upon shooting open the trunk of the car, a large amount of cocaine is found. Feldman takes Hutch hostage, and in Starsky’s attempt to rescue him, he accidentally shoots Captain Doby in the shoulder. Hutch covers for Starsky telling Doby that Reese shot him. In the ensuing confusion, Feldman and his girlfriend Kitty (Juliette Lewis) escape outside with the money that was used to buy the drugs. Starsky and Hutch pursue them in a car chase over a golf course.Feldman and Kitty then take off in his yacht hoping to escape the partners. Not far behind, Starsky and Hutch decide the only way to catch Feldman is to land Starsky’s car onto Feldman’s yacht, which Starsky is fearful to do. Starsky gets the car up to speed on a pier and then hits a ramp, but jumps way off course and misses the yacht. It slams into the sea and sinks as the partners safely escape. However all is not lost; Huggy, who was hiding in the yacht, knocks out Feldman, with the golf club that Reese had accused him of losing earlier. In the last scene, at a party celebrating the capture of Feldman, Starsky is still upset about the loss of his car. Huggy surprises him by buying him another Torino from the original Starsky and Hutch duo (David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser). The two happy cops roll out in their new car answering to the police radio.Not having watched the Starsky and Hutch tv programme in the 70’s, i wasn’t quite sure what too expect from the film. I was pleasantly suprised, but later found out that the tv programme was nothing like the film. This film is very funny in many parts, but can be just a little too silly in others. The cast is great, especially Wilson, Stiller and Ferrell, who work so well together. Their scene in the jail is absolutely hilarious i must add. Also, Snoop Dogg was an inspired choice for Huggy Bear and he almost steals the show with his outragous outfits. All in all, a pretty damn good film with plenty of laughs.

REVIEW: ZOOLANDER 2

CAST

Ben Stiller (Along Came Polly)
Owen wilson (Wedding Crashers)
Penelope Cruz (Open Your Eyes)
Will Ferrell (Everything Must Go)
Christine Taylor (Tropic Thunder)
Justin Theroux (American Psycho)
Benedict Cumberbatch (Star Trek Into Darkness)
Milla Jovovich (Resident Evil)
Kristen Wiig (The Martian)
Jerry Stiller (The Heartbreak Kid)
Billy Zane (The Scorpion King 3)
Antonio Te Maioha (Spartacus: Blood and Sand)
Keifer Sutherland (Pompeii)
Fred Armisen (Easy A)
Andy Dick (Dude, Wheres My Car ?)
Olivia Munn (X-Men: Apocalypse)
Christina Hendricks (Drive)
Willie Nelson (The Dukes of Hazzard)
Katy Perry (The Smurfs)
Sting (Dune)
John Malkovich (Red)
Susan Sarandon (Tammy)

At Fashion Interpol, Valentina Valencia examines the expressions of recently assassinated pop singers’ last images and discovers they match Derek Zoolander’s trademark look, “Blue Steel”. A flashback reveals that the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can’t Read Good collapsed, killing Matilda Jeffries and injuring Hansel McDonald. Derek later lost custody of his son, Derek Zoolander Jr., and announced his retirement from modeling and subsequent reclusion.

Derek now lives alone in “extreme northern” New Jersey. Billy Zane visits and gives him an invitation to the House of Atoz fashion show by Alexanya Atoz, and persuades him to return to a regular lifestyle in order to regain custody of his son. In the “uncharted Malibu territories”, Hansel returns to his home after dinner and is informed by his orgy that they are all pregnant and that he is the father. He is later given the same invitation by Zane. After reuniting, Derek and Hansel are tracked down by Valentina, who asks them to help Interpol uncover who is behind the systematic assassinations.

At the fashion show, Derek and Hansel are surprised to find that the ever-changing fashion world is now dominated by the likes of Don Atari and the androgynous All. They are put on the runway in “Old” and “Lame” outfits and are doused by a large bucket of prunes. Afterwards, Alexanya congratulates them on their performance.

With Valentina’s help, Derek discovers his son is residing at a local orphanage. They find him, but Derek is distraught by his son’s obesity. After Matilda’s ghost asks him to protect their son, Hansel convinces Derek to accept Derek Jr. After meeting the Headmaster, Derek takes his son around Rome. However, Derek Jr. becomes disgruntled with his father and returns to the orphanage. Hansel receives an anonymous call, requesting that he travel to St. Peter’s Basilica at midnight. He, Derek, and Valentina go to the church and meet with Sting, who tells them the tale of Adam and Eve and the little-known Steve, who many rockstars have died to protect. It is said that Steve is the common ancestor of all models and that he and his closest descendant (Derek Jr.) hold the bloodline of the Fountain of Youth.

Derek returns to the orphanage, only to find it in disrepair and his son and the Headmaster gone. He travels to Jacobim Mugatu’s isolated prison, but is captured, while Mugatu escapes. Mugatu leaves on a helicopter while Hansel stows away by hiding on top of the propeller. Derek and Valentina swim back to Rome while Hansel infiltrates the House of Atoz. He witnesses Mugatu reuniting with Alexanya and killing Don Atari. Hansel finds Derek Jr. imprisoned and reunites with Derek and Valentina at the IncrediBALL. They enter a bathhouse through a rear entrance and witness Derek Jr. strapped to a table.

Mugatu and many of the world’s fashion designers prepare to cut out Derek Jr.’s heart and consume his blood, believing it to grant them eternal youth as it contains the blood of Steve. Derek, Hansel, and Valentina stop Mugatu from proceeding and he reveals that he brought together the world’s fashion designers to kill them as revenge for leaving him imprisoned. Alexanya, who is actually Katinka Ingabogovinanana, attacks Valentina, while Mugatu tells Derek that he was behind the destruction of his Center by hiring the construction crew to build a faulty base. He then throws an explosive towards the lava. Derek manages to stop it with “Magnum”, but he struggles to keep it suspended in mid-air. Sting arrives and reveals that he is Hansel’s father, and they, along with Derek Jr., successfully hurl the explosive back at Mugatu, killing him. Derek Jr. forgives his father for his mother’s death and Derek and Valentina confess their love for each other. Matilda’s ghost gives them her blessing and says that Mugatu live-streamed the event.

Six months later, Derek and Hansel have returned to modeling. Derek and Valentina have a daughter named Darlene, while Derek Jr. is now in a relationship with Malala Yousafzai. Hansel returns to living with his orgy and is now the father of 10 children.


Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson and Will Ferrell reprise their sillinesses from last time, and it is a pleasure to see Penelope Cruz being every bit as silly, and fully prepared to make herself look daft. A great sequel.