REVIEW: LOST IN SPACE (1998)

Starring

William Hurt (A.I.)
Mimi Rogers (Ginger Snaps)
Heather Graham (The Hangover)
Lacey Chabert (MEan Girls)
Jack Johnson (The Little CHP)
Matt LeBlanc (Friends)
Gary Oldman (The Dark Knight)
Dick Tufeld (Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends)
Lennie James (The Walking Dead)
Mark Goddard (The Detectives)
June Lockhart (LAssie)
Marta Kristen (Battle Beyond The Stars)
Angela Cartwright (The Sound of Music)

In 2058, Earth will soon be uninhabitable due to the irreversible effects of pollution and ozone depletion. In an effort to save humanity, the United Global Space Force sends Professor John Robinson, his wife Maureen, daughters Judy and Penny, and young prodigy son Will on the spaceship Jupiter II to complete construction of a hypergate over the planet Alpha Prime, which will allow the population of Earth to be instantly transported and populate the new planet. Penny rebels by breaking curfew, while Will’s prize-winning science experiment involving time travel goes largely unnoticed by John. Global Sedition, a mutant terrorist group, assassinates the Jupiter II’s pilot, who is replaced by hotshot fighter pilot Major Don West, to his chagrin. The family’s physician Dr. Zachary Smith, a Sedition spy, sabotages the ship’s on-board robot before launch, but is betrayed by his cohorts and left unconscious as the ship launches and the family enters cryosleep. The robot activates and begins to destroy the navigation and guidance systems, en route to destroying the family. Smith awakens the Robinsons and West, who manage to subdue the robot, but the ship is falling uncontrollably into the sun. Forced to use the experimental hyperdrive with an unplotted course, the ship is transported through hyperspace to a remote planet in an uncharted part of the universe.Mimi Rogers, Lacey Chabert, William Hurt, Heather Graham, Matt LeBlanc, and Jack Johnson in Lost in Space (1998)Passing through a strange distortion in space, the crew finds two abandoned ships in orbit: the Earth ship Proteus, and another ship clearly not of human origin. They board the Proteus, with Will controlling the now-modified robot. They find navigational data to reach Alpha Prime, and a camouflaging creature Penny calls “Blarp”, along with evidence suggesting the ship is from the future. They are attacked by spider-like creatures; one scratches Smith, and the robot’s body is irreparably damaged but Will saves its computerized intelligence. West destroys the vessel to eradicate the spiders, causing the ship to crash-land on the nearby planet, where another distortion appears. Will theorizes they are distortions in time, as his experiment predicted, but John ignores his input. Exploring the time bubble, he and West encounter a future version of Will and a robot he rebuilt with the saved intelligence. The older Will explains that surviving spiders killed Maureen, Penny, and Judy. Constructing a time machine, the future Will intends to return to Earth to prevent Jupiter II from launching.Gary Oldman in Lost in Space (1998)Young Will and Smith investigate the time bubble on their own. Smith tricks Will into handing over his weapon, but is foiled by a future version of himself, transformed by his spider injury into a spider-like creature, who has been protecting Will since the rest of the family was killed. The present Will and West return to the Jupiter II with an injured Smith and the robot in tow, while the future Smith reveals his true plan: He killed the Robinsons, but kept Will alive to build the time machine, so Smith could return to Earth and populate it with a race of spiders. John, remembering the spiders eat their wounded, rips open Smith’s egg sac with a trophy Will turned into a weapon. Smith’s spider army devours him and he is thrown into the time portal, ripping him apart. The planet’s increasing instability forces the Jupiter II to take off, but they are unable to reach escape velocity and are destroyed by the planet’s debris. Realizing his father never actually abandoned them, and that he really does love him, Will sets the time machine to send John back to his family, but there is only enough power for one person. Saying goodbye to his family, the future Will is killed by falling debris, and John reunites with his living family.Gary Oldman, William Hurt, Heather Graham, and Matt LeBlanc in Lost in Space (1998)Realizing they do not have enough power to escape the planet’s gravitational pull, John suggests they drive the ship down through the planet, using the gravity well to slingshot them back into space. They are successful, but the planet turns into a black hole, and they activate the hyperdrive to escape. Using the Proteus’ navigational data to set a potential course for Alpha Prime, the ship blasts off into hyperspace.Matt LeBlanc in Lost in Space (1998)Based off the old 60’s television series, Lost in Space certainly had the opportunity to be a suspenseful and imaginative sci-fi adventure, but it ends up feeling like little more than an overlong pilot episode for a failed television series. What the movie does have going for it are some occasionally nifty special effects and a fairly tense scene set on board an abandoned spacecraft packed full of hungry giant spiders. What the movie has going against it is generally everything else. The cast is thoroughly unconvincing (even William Hurt and Gary Oldman), a good portion of the special effects are second-rate, and the subplot involving time rips and time “bubbles” feels tacked-on and pointless. This is a silly adventure film that lacks tension and fun, or even competent film-making and writing. I’m certain kids will probably enjoy the movie, but most everyone else will probably feel mentally adrift by the time the end credits roll.

 

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: TWO AND A HALF MEN – THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES

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CAST
Charlie Sheen (Anger Management)
Jon Cryer (Superman 4)
Angus T. Jones (Bringing Down The House)
Conchata Ferrell (Mr. Deeds)
Holland Taylor (Legalley Blonde)
Marin Hinkle (Dark Blue)
April Bowlby (Mom)
Jennifer Tayor (Wild Things)
Ashton Kutcher (That 70s Show)
Amber Tamblyn (The Grudge)
Edan Alexander (Outliving Emily)

SANTA’S VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED

GUEST CAST
Josie Davis (Bones)
Alan finds a new girlfriend, Sandy- his cooking class teacher. In the first scene Charlie wakes up and thinks that he had a one-night stand with her, but when Alan walks in and kisses and greets her he (Charlie) realises that Alan is with her. He also describes her as a “nester”. But she is a great cook and gets Charlie and Alan hooked on to her food. They also gains lots of weight. When they sing Christmas carols on Christmas Eve, Charlie sees that his house has been transformed in to – what he calls – Santa’s Village of the Damned. In bed she also remembers that she forgot to put out cookies and milk for Santa. They realise that she is crazy.
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WALNUTS AND DEMEROL

GUEST CAST
Melanie Lynskey (Up In The Air)
Ryan Stiles (Hot Shots)
Jessica Collins (Tru Calling)
Susan Sullivan (The Incredible Hulk 70s)
Charlie’s friends and family put a crimp on his plan for a romantic Christmas Eve date. Evelyn talks to his date, learns about who she is, and then takes extreme measures to prevent them from having sex, but Charlie begins to have sex with her anyway until he learns that she might be his half sister.
Alan has to mediate when Herb becomes more interested in Kandi and her breasts, making Judith angry. Rose and Berta discover Charlie’s boundery after following the couple around the house and stopping at his bedroom door to eavesdrop. Also, Jake gets into the egg nog, unaware that the egg nog’s filled with burbon and becomes inebriated, starting with his dancing and muttering around the house and ending with his narrating “T’was the night before christmas” and throwing up all over the back of Herb and Judith’s car on the way home.

WARNING IT’S DIRTY

GUEST CAST
Carl Reiner (Oceans Eleven)
It’s holiday time at the Harper house and it has everything you’d expect—booze, singing, womanizing, and an old man soiling himself. This year, Alan has written the Harper Christmas newsletter to send out. Now, I sometimes get newsletters in lieu of a Christmas card and for me it just seems a little too impersonal. Unfortunately, there was nothing impersonal about this newsletter. In it we learn that Jake passed his class by the skin of his ass, Charlie is single no more after getting engaged to a lady, not a whore, and Evelyn rejuvenated her secret garden—turns out nothing rhymes with vulva. I think the best part of the scene, besides the poem of course, was Alan’s responses, in his best Oliver Twist accent, to Charlie’s bah-humbug attitude. I’m not sure if Alan was hitting the sauce or if the holidays just puts him in a jolly mood, but he was downright witty!
The real story of the evening, though, involves Charlie giving Jake some much unneeded advice about how to cheat. Charlie notices Jake scamming on some girl down at the beach and gives him a hard time for not going down to meet them. Jake reminds Charlie that he’s in a committed relationship and, in turn, Charlie reminds Jake that he’s only 13 (though he’s actually 15) and shouldn’t be tied down so young. Maybe Charlie is feeling a bit too tied down himself at the young age of 40 (though he’s actually 42), because it seems that he wants to live vicariously through Jake. After much prodding, Jake finally agrees to go talk to the girl. Throughout the evening, and despite Alan’s repeated objections, Charlie helps Jake with the rules.
Unfortunately, Charlie has no rules to help prepare Jake for when Celeste shows up unexpectedly with his Christmas present, and finds Jake with the other girl. As soon as the new girl learns of Jake’s girlfriend she storms off, the now ex-girlfriend leaves in a huff, and Chelsea gives Charlie a look that would castrate a lesser man! In other Harper family news, Evelyn brings a Hollywood producer to the Christmas Eve dinner. Mr. Pepper, played by the ridiculously funny Carl Reiner, is a wheelchair-bound spitfire whom Evelyn just couldn’t bear to see spending the evening alone in his $60 million estate—and with the $2 million she could make off of selling his house when he buys the farm, who could blame her? It turns out that he knows Lucille Ball wasn’t a true redhead. He’s willing to share with them how he knows but warns them, “It’s dirty.” and complains that he’s sitting so close to the fire his chestnuts are roasting. In the end, it looks as though Mr. Pepper really does pass away. He slumps over and is unresponsive. As Evelyn mentally calculates her commission, Mr. Pepper awakens to say “She thinks she’s going to sell my house when I’m gone. But I ain’t going!” Then he looks down at his lap and realizes “Oops. I am going.”

ONE FALSE MOVE, ZIMBABWE!

GUEST CAST

Mimi Rogers (Ginger Snaps)

Sophie Winkleman (The Chronicles of Narnia)

Jane Carr (The Five-Year Engagement)

Graham Patrick Martin (Major Crimes)

Jim Piddock (Independence Day

Walden wakes up on Christmas and gives Zoey a key to his house. Zoey says that giving her a key to his house is premature. He asks if he can meet her parents (who are flying in), but she tells him that next year might be a good time as they are still learning about each other, However, Walden counters by telling Zoey her eye color, pants size and that she runs the faucet to cover her peeing. Walden’s mother is coming to visit him. Alan tries to get Evelyn to come over seeing as though this is the family’s first Christmas without Charlie. She declines as she is having a “two man sandwich”, which Alan learns over the phone in disgust. Walden then wonders where Lyndsey is, but Alan tells him that she has a new boyfriend now, leaving him single and lonely again. Jake calls and tells Alan that he is with Judith, Herb and his sister, actually not being there and is instead smoking pot with Eldridge somewhere else.
Walden’s mother arrives and Alan is smitten with how young and beautiful she is. They have dinner, Walden’s mother asks if Walden was now a homosexual and hiding it; they quickly due a recap of Season 9 to clear things up. She then explains that she is a primatologist and mainly works with gorillas. Walden mentions “Magilla”, an imaginary gorilla friend that he had when he was a child. However, she tells him Magilla does exist and he shared the first four years of his life with him, which lead to Walden learning sign language; she wanted to see if a gorilla baby could learn as fast as a human baby. She sent him back to the jungle after he tried to kill a Jehovah’s Witness. This revelation shocks Walden deeply as all his memories of Magilla clear up and he explains that he was so perfect during his childhood because he feared that he would be sent to Zimbabwe just like his gorilla “brother”. He leaves in a huff.
At Zoey’s apartment building, she opens the door to find Walden holding a bottle of liquor, inquiring if he was drunk; Walden himself is unsure, but thinks he is due to drinking and invites himself in. With hid thoughts muddled with alcohol and anger, Walden questions Zoey’s parents, who are very British and appear to like him despite his odd behavior, if they would do something similar to what happened to him. At the beach house, they then get a call from Zoey, who tells them to come over as Walden is acting crazy. They arrive to see Walden has climbed up to the roof of the complex, where Zoey meets Walden;’s mother and briefly forgets the situation. Alan climbs up to talk some sense into him, telling him how he knows the pain of losing a brother (referring to Charlie’s death). On the street, Jake and Eldrige, both baked, eat doughnuts and blankly comment on the situation before deciding to get more food. Later, Walden is taken to the place Magilla is being kept and reunites with his “brother” after identifying himself through sign language. Alan becomes shocked that Walden’s mother brought a taser to stun Magilla if he attacked Walden.

GIVE SANTA A TAIL-HOLE

GUEST CAST
Courtney Thorne-Smith (Melrose Place)
Brooke D’Orsay (The Skulls III)
Patton Oswalt (Agents of Shield)
Still pretending to be the poverty-stricken “Sam Wilson”, Walden spends Christmas with Kate, who urges him to get a job. He then gets a call from his internet business partner Billy, who tells him that they have been offered $800 million for their “electronic suitcase”. Billy wants to sell, but Walden wants to hold out for a higher price. “Sam” gets a job selling Christmas trees, which he takes to immediately and enjoys.
Billy stops by the Christmas tree lot multiple times with new offers, urging Walden to sell, but Walden repeatedly shoos him away, saying he will not sell for less than $1.4 billion. Just as “Sam” closes a $40 deal with a Christmas tree customer, Walden and Billy close a deal to sell their electronic suitcase for $1.2 billion. After Kate’s sewing machine breaks, Walden uses his Christmas tree commissions to buy her a new one for Christmas. Walden feels much happier with Kate in his new blue collar world. Meanwhile, Alan plans to spend Christmas Eve with Evelyn, Jake and Lyndsey, but none of them are able to come. Jake plans to spend Christmas with his girlfriend and her children, Evelyn is having plastic surgery, and Lyndsey has to go to Cleveland to help her grandmother, who broke her hip. Alan begins to feel alone and miserable, until a less-than-willing Berta comes to seemingly comfort him.

ON VODKA, ON SODA, ON BLENDER ON MIXER!

GUEST CAST
Diane Farr (Roswell)
Aly Michalka (Izombie)
Paula Marshall (Veronica Mars)
TWO AND A HALF MEN
 Jenny hooks up with a bikini wax technician named Brooke who catches Jenny’s heart, but gives her a fake phone number. Walden visits Brooke’s salon to get a painful wax, but gets Brooke to promise to call Jenny. Alan is still with Paula who introduces Alan to her former wife of 20 years, Rachel. Rachel starts coming onto Alan who initially refuses. After Alan finds out that he and Paula are not exclusive, he unknowingly takes Rachel to the same bar that Paula visits every Friday. Paula is pissed off to see them both together. They discover that they still have feelings for each other and that Rachel was going out with Alan only to make her jealous and then they get back together in a lesbian relationship.
The night of their date Jenny gets bombed and then Brooke shows up bombed because she usually never does second dates and passes out on the couch with Jenny.
Walden narrates that Alan is sleeping with lesbian dreams of Paula and Rachel. Jenny and Brooke slept together. While he and Berta are busy getting stoned.

FAMILY, BUBLE, DEEP-FRIED TURKEY

GUEST CAST
Richard Riehle (Halloween II)
Kari Klinkenborg (Castle)
It’s Christmas time and Rose comes over and offers her help, but is turned down. Louis doesn’t believe in Santa as he never got presents, so Walden and Alan want to prove him Santa exists by hiring a Santa who will be captured on video. Unfortunately, while Alan and Walden are in the garage putting together Louis’ new bike, sex between Evelyn and the fake Santa leads to a trip to the emergency room for the latter. Sometime later, Louis can’t sleep, and asks Walden and Alan to stay with him; the two wind up falling asleep. In the morning, however, they discover all the presents under the tree and a video of Santa. Walden realizes Rose was responsible when he sees “Santa” leaping over the balcony railing. Rose tells Walden she really does want to be friends with him, and surprises Walden with a Christmas gift – a cuckoo clock (that, unknown to Walden and Alan, is actually a spy cam).

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A show lasting 12 years was bound to end up a few Christmas episodes 7 specials are all good I especially love Santa’s village of the Damned. Josie Davis was a brilliant guest star playing a woman who still believe sin Santa and is obsessed with making every perfect for Santa. the second Walnuts and Demoral is just a brilliantly well plotted episode with several neat twists and turns. As you watch these specials you get see how much the show changed throughout the years especially when you get to the last 4 seasons, the years without Charlie, but even those xmas specials are just as good. All seven are worth watching over Christmas a good 3hours + to keep you entertained.

HALLOWEEN OF HORROR REVIEW: GINGER SNAPS

CAST

Katharine Isabelle (Hannibal)
Emily Perkins (IT)
Kris Lemche (My Little Eye)
Mimi Rogers (Ash vs Evil Dead)
Jesse Ross (Final Destination 3)
Danielle Hampton (Odyssey 5)
John Bourgeois (Beyond Reality)
Lucy Lawless (Xena)

The film is set in Bailey Downs, a suburb where a rash of dog killings has been occurring. Brigitte and Ginger Fitzgerald are teenage sisters who harbor a fascination with death and, as children, formed a pact to die together. One night, while on the way to kidnap a dog owned by school bully Trina Sinclair, Ginger begins her first period, which results in the girls being attacked by the creature responsible for the maulings. The creature wounds and bites Ginger, but Brigitte rescues her. As the girls flee, the creature is run over by a van belonging to Sam MacDonald, a local drug dealer. Ginger decides not to go the hospital as her wounds heal quickly.Following the attack, Ginger undergoes physical and mental transformations that concern Brigitte. Ginger starts to behave aggressively and grow hair from her wounds, sprouts a tail, and heavily menstruates. Ignoring Brigitte’s warnings, Ginger has unprotected sex with a classmate named Jason and kills a neighbor’s dog. Brigitte and Sam agree that Ginger was attacked by a werewolf and is in the process of turning into one. On Sam’s advice, Brigitte persuades Ginger to have her navel pierced using a silver ring in the hopes of curing her. Instead, it proves ineffective. Sam then suggests a monkshood solution, which is not possible as the plant is only found in the spring.Later, Trina shows up at the Fitzgerald house to accuse Ginger of kidnapping her dog. As she fights with Ginger, Trina is accidentally killed when she slips and hits her head on the kitchen counter. The sisters narrowly avoid their parents as they put the body in a freezer, explaining the blood to be part of another school project. Brigitte accidentally breaks off two of Trina’s fingers while trying to get the corpse from the freezer. They lose the fingers when they bury Trina’s body. Brigitte tells Ginger she can’t go out anymore, but Ginger remains defiant.On Halloween, Brigitte takes monkshood purchased by her mother and asks Sam to make the cure. While trying to track down Ginger, Brigitte is attacked by an infected Jason and she defends herself by using the cure on him. She witnesses his immediate change in behavior, which proves the cure’s success. At school, Brigitte finds that Ginger has murdered the guidance counselor, Mr. Wayne, and is a witness to her killing of the school’s janitor. The girls’ mother discovers Trina’s corpse and goes looking for her daughters. While she is looking for them, she sees Brigitte running and picks her up. As she drives Brigitte to the Greenhouse Bash, she tells her that she will burn the house down by letting it fill up with gas then lighting a match to erase evidence of Trina’s death. Brigitte arrives to find Sam rejecting Ginger’s advances. As he approaches Ginger, she breaks his arm. In despair, Brigitte infects herself as Sam pleads with her not to. As the sisters leave, Sam knocks Ginger out with a shovel. Brigitte and Sam then take her back to the Fitzgerald house in his van, and prepare more of the cure for Ginger.Ginger fully transforms into a werewolf on the way home and escapes the van. Aware that she has transformed, Sam and Brigitte hide in the pantry as he makes the cure. When he goes to find Ginger, Ginger mutilates Sam. Brigitte picks up the dropped syringe and follows the blood trail downstairs. After finding an injured and bloody Sam she tries to save him by drinking his blood in an attempt to calm Ginger, but can’t go through with it. Ginger sees Brigitte’s revulsion and kills Sam in front of her by biting him in the jugular. As Ginger stalks Brigitte through the basement, Brigitte returns to the room where they grew up. Finding the knife that Ginger had been using to remove her tail, Brigitte holds the cure in one hand and the knife in the other. Ginger lunges at her, becoming fatally stabbed with the knife. Brigitte lays her head upon her dying sister’s chest and sobs.There is plenty of black humour mixed with violent events mostly perpertrated by Ginger herself and the script is very well written.All in all this is one of the best movies I have ever seen in my life! and the music for the film is mysterious and gothic! and totally brilliant.

HALLOWEEN OF HORROR REVIEW: ASH VS EVIL DEAD – SEASON 1

MAIN CAST

Bruce Campbell (Jack of All Trades)
Ray Santiago (My Name Is Earl)
Dana DeLorenzo (2 Broke Girls)
Jill Marie Jones (Sleepy Hollow)
Lucy Lawless (Spartacus)
Bruce Campbell, Ray Santiago, and Dana DeLorenzo in Ash vs Evil Dead (2015)
RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Damien Garvey (Terra Nova)
Mike Edward (Power Rangers Operation Overdrive)
Sian Davis (Hercules: The Legendary Journeys)
Bridget Hoffman (Frozen)
James Gaylyn (Avatar)
Mimi Rogers (Ginger Snaps)
Ben Fransham (Legend of The Seeker)
Jared Turner (30 Days of Night)
Hemky Madera (Weeds)
Kelson Henderson (Power Rangers SPD)
Peter Feeney (Black Sheep)
Rachel Blampied (Shortland Street)
Mark Mitchinson (Power Rangers Megaforce)
Milo Cawthorne (Power Rangers RPM)
Samara Weaving (Home and Away)
Indiana Evans (H20)
Ido Drent (Offspring)

Well, we’ve had to be patient for nearly a quarter of a century to finally see Ash wield his chainsaw again, but trust me: it was well worth the wait. Ash vs. Evil Dead fires on all cylinders.  After so many years had passed since Army of Darkness (aka Evil Dead III) came out in 1992, it looked like a direct sequel just wasn’t going to happen anymore, yet apparently, the Raimi-Campbell gang had been working on one for some time. According to recent interviews with the show’s creators Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell, what was first supposed to be a new feature film and the fourth entry in the franchise, over time turned into an idea for a TV-series, and I believe fans will be very happy with the result. Instead of a 2-hour film for a sequel, we now get 10 episodes  with Ash and the Deadites.Bruce Campbell in Ash vs Evil Dead (2015)At the beginning of the show we meet Ash leading a lazy, but apparently happy slacker life, residing in a run-down trailer and working as a stock boy at a Value Stop (for some obscure legal reasons, the writers couldn’t use the name S-Mart from Army of Darkness’ iconic last scene). In the show, 30 years have passed since Ash’s last encounter with the Deadites, and while he might be well into middle age now, he hasn’t matured one bit. Ash is still the exact same guy we last saw fighting walking skeletons and other ghastly undead things in Army of Darkness, cracking wise and appearing as cock-sure of himself as ever. These days, he likes to spend most of his spare time either getting wasted in his trailer or picking up random ladies – or both . suffice to say that his rather irresponsible lifestyle ultimately won’t go too well with his duty as keeper of a certain  dangerous book, and  bloody mayhem soon ensues.In my opinion, Ash vs. Evil Dead does everything right. Instead of going down the “gritty drama” route of shows like The Walking Dead or taking the “straight horror” approach of Fede Alvarez’ Evil Dead remake, creators Sam Raimi and Bruce Campbell fully embrace the over-the-top goofiness and playful tone of Evil Dead II and Army of Darkness, while still delivering the scares of the first film and plenty of gore. The Deadites are frightening. The production values in general are absolutely great; the writing is in the vein of the first three films (no wonder, since the episodes were mostly written by Sam and Ivan Raimi); the music, the pacing and the direction: really everything just falls into place. It’s clear that this wasn’t some lazy attempt to cash in on the name of a beloved cult-franchise, but a labour of love for all involved.Another great plus of the series is the cast. Seeing Bruce Campbell step back into this iconic character is simply hilarious fun; it still fits him like a glove (or, perhaps more accurately in his case, a chainsaw). But there was never a doubt in my mind that he would deliver (it seems Ash is a character Campbell was born to play); what really surprised me was how well the rest of the cast fits into the show. Ray Santiago as Pablo and Dana DeLorenzo as Kelly (they’re Ash’s co-workers at the Value Stop) are completely able to hold their own; they are fully fleshed-out characters and just as fun to watch as Ash. Also we have Lucy Lawless of Spartacus and Xena fame, who’s character is a mystery until episode 9 when all hell breaks loose and leads into a great Season One finale.Ash vs Evil dead brings back everything that we all loved about the original Evil Dead films, but it also manages to introduce interesting new characters and story lines which help maintain the element of surprise for long-time fans. And the show works just as well as a stand-alone story, so people unfamiliar with the original trilogy need not worry either: they will find just as much to love here as those who know and cherish Sam Raimi’s classics – as long as they have a certain affection for trashy, gory horror comedies and don’t expect serious drama. The good news its already been picked up for a season 2, so we got more blood and gore to come

REVIEW: TWO AND A HALF MEN – SEASON 12

Starring

Ashton Kutcher (The Ranch)
Jon Cryer (Supergirl)
Conchata Ferrell (Krampus)
Amber Tamblyn (Girlfriend’s Day)
Marin Hinkle (Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle)
Edan Alexander (Irreplaceable You)
Holland Taylor (D.E.B.S.)

Recurring / Notable Guest Cast

Kris Iyer (Buffy: TVS)
Michael Bolton (Teen Titans Go To The Movies)
Mimi Rogers (Ginger Snaps)
Courtney Thorne-Smith (Melrose Place)
Maggie Lawson (Santa Clarita Diet)
Ryan Stiles (Hot Shots)
D.B. Sweeney (Ice)
Clark Duke (Kick-Ass)
Alessandra Torresani (Caprica)
Melanie Lynskey (Heavenly Creatures)
Richard Riehle (Office Space)
Deanna Russo (Burning Love)
David Denman (Power Rangers)
Bill Smitrovich (Ted)
Gary Anthony Williams (Batman: The Dark Knight Returns)
Vernee Watson (The Big Bang Theory)
Judy Greer (Jurassic World)
Angus T. Jones (Bringing Down The Hous)
April Bowlbry (Doom PAtrol)
Missi Pyle (Gone Girl)
Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator)
John Stamos (Full House)
Jennifer Taylor (Shameless)
Christian Slater (True Romance)
Sophie Winkleman (Chronicles of Narnia)
Emmanuelle Vaugier (Human Target)
Jessica Lu (God Friended Me)

Jon Cryer and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)Walden has a near-death experience, which causes him to take a good, long look at his life. Realizing his life has amounted to a whole lot of nothing so far, he tells Alan that he would like to adopt a child in order to add some meaning to his life. Walden soon discovers that it is next to impossible to adopt a child as a single dad, so he proposes to his roommate and long-time friend, Alan, and the two pose as a gay couple and ultimately adopt Louis. Of course, it wouldn’t be a season of Two and a Half Men if our guys didn’t behave badly, so it’s not long before Walden and Alan are scrambling to keep their secret while figuring out how to have some manly fun with the women in their lives!Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)The Season story is mostly about the adoption of Louis, its a nice heartfelt story of two men trying t oraise an adoptive child, whilst trying to hide the fact they are both straight. When we get to the last few episodes we see both men in happy relationships, but the main event is obviously the last episode which features great guest stars such as Arnold Schwarzenegger, Christian Slater, and a whole host of returning cast members including, Jake. after 12 season the show still surprises and the final episode is a worth while conclusion to a show that has been on the air for 12 years.

REVIEW: TWO AND A HALF MEN – SEASON 11

Starring

Ashton Kutcher (The Ranch)
Jon Cryer (Supergirl)
Amber Tamblyn (Girlfriend’s Day)
Conchata Ferrell (Krampus)

Jon Cryer and Amber Tamblyn in Two and a Half Men (2003)
Recurring / Notable Guest Cast

Holland Taylor (D.E.B.S.)
Carl Reiner (Oceans Eleven)
Courtney Thorne-Smith (Melrose Place)
Shanti Lowry (Code Black)
Nicole Travolta (Anger Management)
D.B. Sweeney (The Cutting Edge)
Lynda Carter (Wonder Woman)
Mimi Rogers (Ginger Snaps)
Madison Dylan (Femme Fatales)
Spencer Locke (Resident Evil: Afterlife)
Melanie Lynskey (Heavenly Creatures)
Brian Stepanek (Young Sheldon)
Paula Marshall (Cupid)
Kate Miner (Fifty Shades of Black)
Diane Farr (Roswell)
Aly Michalka (Izombie)
Odette Annable (Supergirl)
Clark Duke (Kick-Ass)
Brooke Lyons (2 Broke Girls)
Marion Ross (Happy Days)
Carl Reiner (Oceans Eleven)
Tim Conway (Coach)
Steve Lawrence (The Blues Brothers)
Garry Marshall (Murphy Brown)
Marin Hinkle (Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle)
Kimberly Williams-Paisley (The Flash)
Brooke D’Orsay (The Skulls 3)
Mila Kunis (Ted)
Ken Davitian (Borat)
Jane Lynch (Glee)
Diedrich Bader (American Housewife)

Jon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher, and Amber Tamblyn in Two and a Half Men (2003)The creators decided to spice things up and give Charlie’s daughter Jennifer a prominent role in the series. Yes, apparently one time, Charlie wasn’t careful enough when he was dating a certain woman and so along came ‘Jenny’ (Amber Tamblyn). The minute she appears on the show, you can clearly see why the makers of Two and a Half Men decided to bring her along for the ride. She’s just another Charlie, but in the form of a lesbian girl. And she’s just as hilarious as her late father.Conchata Ferrell, Ashton Kutcher, and Carl Reiner in Two and a Half Men (2003)Besides Jenny, there’s another new recurring character who’s called Barry Foster (Clark Duke). Barry is a typical geek: very naïve, not that good with the ladies and a bit socially awkward. The newcomers are a much needed fresh wind in the series and they add a lot to the creation of hilarious moments. Besides those newcomers, you’ll see a lot more from Alan and Charlie’s mother Evelyn (Holland Taylor) as she has found a new lover (not coincidentally a very old man with lots and lots of money). Although Evelyn herself isn’t such a caricature like, for example, Alan or Jenny; she always succeeds in waiting for the right moment to drop sarcastic and ironic one-liners. As her screen time is mostly quite brief, it’s fantastic to notice how much of an impression she leaves behind every single time she crosses paths with the main actors. The same can be said of the-always-napping-housekeeper Berta (Conchata Ferrel) for that matter.Two and a Half MenStory wise, season 11 offers a lot of variety which keeps the viewer from getting bored with the plot. Acting performances are pretty good. Especially newcomer Amber Tamblyn knows how to put down a very likeable character without getting annoying. It’s great to see how Charlie’s role has been transferred to his daughter and it really fits the show perfectly. Kutcher too does a fantastic job with his Walden personage and of course, Two and a Half Men wouldn’t be the same without Jon Cryer.

REVIEW: TWO AND A HALF MEN – SEASON 10

 

TWO AND A HA;F 10

Starring

Ashton Kutcher (The Ranch)
Jon Cryer (Supergirl)
Angus T. Jones (Bringing Down The House)
Conchata Ferrell (Krampus)

Brit Morgan in Two and a Half Men (2003)
Recurring / Notable Guest Cast

Michael Bolton (Teen Titans Go To The Moviea)
Holland Taylor (D.E.B.S.)
Sophie Winkleman (The Chronicles of Narnia)
Mimi Rogers (Ginger Snaps)
Brit Morgan (Suprgirl)
Judy Greer (Jurassic World)
Talyan Wright (Five)
Patton Oswalt (Young Adult)
Chasty Ballesteros (The Internship)
Bre Blair (S.W.A.T.)
Miley Cyrus (LOL)
Melanie Lynskey (Heavenly Creatures)
Rebecca McFarland (Scream 2)
Courtney Thorne-Smith (Melrose Place)
Amanda Walsh (Disturbia)
Steven Krueger (The Originals)
Tricia O’Kelley (Gilmore Girls)
April Bowlby (Doom Patrol)
Brooke D’Orsay (The Skulls 3)
Rebecca Marshall (Cedar Cove)
Joel Murray (Mad Men)
Willie Garson (Stargate SG.1)
Ryan Stiles (Hot Shots)
Jaime Pressly (Mom)
Marin Hinkle (Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle)
Alicia Coppola (Another World)
Elaine Hendrix (The Parent Trap)
Elizabeth Bogush (The Mountain)
Mikaela Hoover (Happy Endings)
Scott Bakula (Star Trek: Enterprise)
Emily Osment (Mom)
Jessica Lundy (The Inspectors)
George Coe (Kramer vs Kramer)
Amanda Detmer (Final Destination)
Marilu Henner (Taxi)
Hilary Duff (Raise Your Voice)

Jon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher, and Michael Bolton in Two and a Half Men (2003)Walden is still dating Zoey and plans a big surprise for her Birthday dinner. Walden takes her out to eat where he has Michael Balton perform and he proposes marriage to her. Zoey refuses and breaks up with Walden revealing she has met someone else. After a night of binge drinking, Walden has some of Berta’s pot filled brownies and picks up a drunk girl. Walden brings her home to have sex, but he starts hallucinating his Zoey, his ex-wife, Bridget, his mother, Robin, and Michael Balton, and drives his date away. Meanwhile, Jake adjusts to life in the military, sporting a shaved head, and Alan is on edge because any permanent relationship between Walden and Zoey will lead to his eviction from the house and inevitable homelessness.Jon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher, and Courtney Thorne-Smith in Two and a Half Men (2003)Walden doesn’t take his break up from Zoey pretty well and releases his anger on Alan, Robin, and his business partner Billy. After a slight intervention, Walden runs away from the beach house and returns the following day with a dog. After the dog destroys his home, he goes to Zoey’s apartment and gives her daughter, Ava, the dog as a birthday present which she names Walden.Jon Cryer, Conchata Ferrell, and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)Alan and Lyndsey decide to progress their relationship by having a threesome. Alan likes the idea at first, but he soon learns that she wants to have two guys and one girl. Alan only agrees if they can have a threesome with two girls and one guy afterward. The first threesome involves Walden, but after he can’t go through with it and starts crying over loosing Zoey, Alan and Lyndsey move on to Alan’s version of a threesome. They pick up a woman at a bar, but before they can have the threesome, she meets Walden, and Alan and Lyndsey spend the night listening to them have sex.Melanie Lynskey and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)Walden begins to feel his age when a family friend of his, Missi (Miley Cyrus), comes to visit. He mistakes her advances for flirtation, only to find that she really wants to set up Walden with her mother. Missi is revealed early-on to be very talkative, not giving others a chance to get a word in. Jake comes home on a weekend leave from the Army, meets Missi, and is smitten right away. They begin a short affair, but as Jake is leaving to return to base, Missi reveals to him that she has a boyfriend. This leaves Jake wondering how he can compete, but also wishing he “did it” more with her.Ashton Kutcher and Miley Cyrus in Two and a Half Men (2003)After a few weeks in the relationship, Walden asks Rose to move in so they can spend more time together. The next day, however, Walden gets a call from Zoey, and the two go out for coffee, where Zoey confesses that she still loves Walden and wants to give the relationship another try. Walden agrees, but does not know how to tell Rose, as she has already moved in. That night, on the deck, Walden tells Rose about Zoey and that he wants to get back together with her. Rose seemingly understands and accepts the decision, but as Walden begins to feel comfortable, Rose sends her ferrets to attack him. She later shows up at Zoey’s place and makes it look like Walden knocked her [Rose] up. Zoey confronts Walden about this and, despite Walden telling her the entire true story, ends up leaving him again after finding out that Rose moved in. Later, Alan borrows Walden’s car and is attacked by two of Rose’s ferrets that she had planted in the car.Ashton Kutcher and Brooke D'Orsay in Two and a Half Men (2003)Alan gets a visit from his hot second ex-wife, Kandi (April Bowlby), who became a famous actress in the CSI-parody Stiffs and, to the surprise of Walden (who loves the actress and finds her very attractive), wants to get back together with Alan. However, being in a committed relationship with Lyndsey, Alan tries to do the right thing by turning down Kandi and telling Lyndsey. Lyndsey is happy and tearful that Alan turned down a hot celebrity for her, and she engages in an incredibly wild night of sex with him. Lyndsey later sees paparazzi photos of Alan and Kandi looking like they were having sex, when Alan was really trying (successfully) to thwart Kandi’s seduction attempt. After Alan fails to clear up the misunderstanding with Lyndsey, Kandi goes over to her house to explain the truth. The two women for no apparent reason end up having sex, which they agree should never be revealed to Alan. Meanwhile, Walden visits Berta on her birthday with a marijuana-laced cupcake, and they get stoned beyond humanly possible. Walden surprises Berta with a new luxury sports car for her birthday, and they mirror the Kandi-Lyndsey agreement by declaring they cannot let Alan (who has a rundown vehicle) know about the gift. Lyndsey, now knowing the truth and rejuvenated from cheating on Alan with Kandi, forgives Alan, while Berta prepares to cheerfully let Alan know of her “good fortune”.Jaime Pressly and Angus T. Jones in Two and a Half Men (2003)Walden has tired of dating or even meeting women who are only interested in his vast fortune; he decides to create an online persona as a poor schlub named “Sam Wilson” who is very much like Alan Harper (no job, no prospects, and no charm). When he goes shopping for discount clothing, he meets a wannabe fashion designer named Kate (Brooke D’Orsay) who is currently a salesperson at the store. She agrees to go to dinner with him, and they really hit it off. Kate later meets Alan, after “Sam” tells her that Alan owns the house he lives in. Alan immediately takes on a rich man’s persona, and acts like a jerk to both Kate and “Sam”. After two weeks of a budding relationship, Kate suggests that “Sam” get out from under Alan’s influence and move in with her until he can get on his feet, so Walden heads off and leaves a gleeful Alan at the beach house. While cuddling together, Kate asks “Sam” that they have no secrets or lies between each other. So Walden tells her he is a billionaire, but she does not believe him and laughs off his “joke”. Meanwhile, Alan ends up getting drunk and ordering people off his “private beach” while wandering around in an expensive bathrobe and no pants.Two and a Half Men (2003)Still pretending to be the poverty-stricken “Sam Wilson”, Walden spends Christmas with Kate, who urges him to get a job. He then gets a call from his internet business partner Billy, who tells him that they have been offered $800 million for their “electronic suitcase”. Billy wants to sell, but Walden wants to hold out for a higher price. “Sam” gets a job selling Christmas trees, which he takes to immediately and enjoys. Billy stops by the Christmas tree lot multiple times with new offers, urging Walden to sell, but Walden repeatedly shoos him away, saying he will not sell for less than $1.4 billion. Just as “Sam” closes a $40 deal with a Christmas tree customer, Walden and Billy close a deal to sell their electronic suitcase for $1.2 billion. After Kate’s sewing machine breaks, Walden uses his Christmas tree commissions to buy her a new one for Christmas. Walden feels much happier with Kate in his new blue collar world. Meanwhile, Alan plans to spend Christmas Eve with Evelyn, Jake and Lyndsey, but none of them are able to come. Jake plans to spend Christmas with his girlfriend and her children, Evelyn is having plastic surgery, and Lyndsey has to go to Cleveland to help her grandmother, who broke her hip. Alan begins to feel alone and miserable, until a less-than-willing Berta comes to seemingly comfort him.Two and a Half Men (2003)Kate falls into depression after failing to achieve her dream of becoming a fashion designer, so Walden tries to help out. He gives Alan $100,000 to invest in Kate’s fashion line, which Alan takes a disliking to, but invests anyway. Meanwhile, Walden’s stress of being himself and “Sam Wilson” begins to get to him, causing him to lose his hair, and making him unable to sleep or get an erection. Alan tries to help him with his erection problem by taking him to Charlie’s pharmacist, Russell (Martin Mull), who offers weird solutions. After Kate leaves for a fashion show in New York City, Walden decides he will abandon his “Sam” persona and reveal to her who he really is. Stressed about how he is going to do it, Walden spends the next three weeks at Kate’s apartment gorging himself with junk food, and becoming fat.Two and a Half Men (2003)Kate is having a fashion show in New York City. Walden, now fed up with his double-life and feeling that Kate might be “the one”, finally decides that he should throw away his “Sam Wilson” alias and confess to her who he really is. Walden decides that he and Alan must go to the show so that “Sam” can tell Kate the truth in person. Alan is relishing the trip, and hoping to convince Walden to take him to a Broadway musical. Despondent over Kate’s reaction when Walden confesses his lies, the musical comes to them (“You’re a Douche”).Jon Cryer and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)After Lyndsey waits outside the beach house for an hour before Alan gets home (forcing her to urinate in the shrubs), she gets upset with Alan when he refuses to give her a key to the house. Alan reasons that he cannot give her a key because the house belongs to Walden. When Alan goes to apologize, he discovers that she is going on a date with her gynecologist, Steven Staven (Willie Garson). Meanwhile, Walden is despondent over his breakup with Kate and Billy gets dumped by Walden’s ex-wife Bridget. They also run into Herb, who reveals that Judith left him after she caught him cheating on her with his receptionist. The four, bonding over their relationships-gone-bad, go for a night out without picking up any women. While in the hot tub at Herb’s place, Walden, Billy and Herb ridicule Alan’s reason for leaving Lyndsey, and encourage him to get her back, as he is the only one of the group who has a chance. Walden has no problem with her having a key, and Alan admits he really just wanted some occasional space from Lyndsey. With help from the others, who grab Steven, Alan gives Lyndsey a key and confesses that while she can do better than him, he cannot do better than her. The two reconcile. Steven reveals to the others that it would not have worked out with him and Lyndsey anyway, and they end up running from a rottweiler, leaving Herb behind.Jon Cryer, Ashton Kutcher, and Brit Morgan in Two and a Half Men (2003)Jake brings home his 36-year-old girlfriend, Tammy (Jaimie Pressley), and Alan becomes concerned about her and Jake, due to her job as a tattoo artist, her kids and time in prison. Despite her appearance, Tammy is a good-hearted woman, who knows how Alan feels about her and her relationship with Jake. Meanwhile, Jake tells Walden that he plans to marry Tammy in Las Vegas right away, but tells him not to tell Alan. Unfortunately, Walden spills the beans during dinner and Alan and Jake have a falling out over Jake’s decision to get married. As they pack for Vegas, Tammy tells Jake she wants their families to be there when (and if) they do get married and tells Jake to make amends with Alan. He does so, and Alan also apologizes, saying he just wants him to be happy. He is relieved that they are not getting married right away and thanks Tammy.These are just some of the highlights of a great season, now were use to Ashton Kutcher, the show can move forward, this would be Jakes last appearance till the final episode (in season 12). The show continues to grow and bring in new recurring characters.