REVIEW: DEEP BLUE SEA

CAST

Thomas Jane (The Punisher)
Michael Rapaport (The Sixth Sense)
Stellan Skarsgård (thor)
LL Cool J (S.W.A.T.)
Samuel L. Jackson (The Legend of Tarzan)
Saffron Burrows (Troy)
Jacqueline McKenzie (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
Aida Turturro (Junior)
Frank Welker (Transformers)
Ronny Cox (Robocop)
Mary Kay Bergman (South Park)

At Aquatica, a remote former submarine refueling facility converted into a laboratory, a team of scientists searches for a cure for Alzheimer’s disease. Fluids from the brain tissue of three Mako sharks are harvested. Unknown to the other scientists, Drs. Susan McAlester and Jim Whitlock have violated the code of ethics and have genetically engineered the sharks to increase their brain size; this has the side effect of making the sharks smarter and more dangerous.
After one of the sharks escapes and attacks a boat full of teenagers, Aquatica’s financial backers send corporate executive Russell Franklin to investigate the facility. To prove that the research is working, the team removes fluid from the brain tissue of the largest shark. While examining it, Jim is attacked by the shark and his arm is bitten off. Brenda Kerns, the tower’s operator, calls a helicopter to evacuate Jim, but as he is being lifted the cable jams and Jim falls into the shark pen. The shark grabs the gurney and pulls the chopper into the tower, killing Brenda and the pilots. As the others try to figure out what made the explosion, one of the sharks uses Jim’s body as a battering ram to smash an underwater window, flooding the facility and freeing the other sharks. Susan confesses to the others that she and Jim genetically altered the sharks.
Susan, Russell, wrangler Carter Blake, marine biologist Janice Higgins, and engineer Tom Scoggins make their way to the top of the center. While delivering a dramatic speech emphasizing the need for group unity, Russell is dragged into the water by the largest shark and killed. While climbing up the industrial elevator, a ladder falls and gets wedged between the walls of the shaft, leaving them dangling over the water and the second shark. Janice loses her grip and falls; despite Carter’s attempts to save her, the shark kills her. The cook, Sherman “Preacher” Dudley, is attacked by the first shark, but kills it by throwing a lighter into the kitchen’s oven that had been turned on. He then encounters Carter, Tom and Susan.
Traumatized by Janice and Russell’s deaths, Tom goes with Carter to the flooded lab to activate controls to open a door to the surface. The largest shark attacks them, killing Tom. Meanwhile, Susan heads into her room to collect her research material, but while there, she is ambushed by the second shark. She narrowly escapes by climbing onto a table and disconnects a nearby power cable, taking off her clothes, and electrocuting the shark in her underwear, destroying her research in the process. Carter, Susan and Preacher go to the top of the research center through a decompression chamber and swim to the surface. Preacher is caught by the third shark and dragged through the water, but swims to safety after stabbing the shark in the eye with his crucifix, causing it to release him.
Carter realizes that the third shark is trying to escape to the open sea, and that the sharks made them flood the facility so they could escape through the weaker mesh fences at the surface. In an effort to distract the final shark, Susan cuts herself and dives into the water. When she attempts to climb out, the ladder breaks and she is killed by the shark. Carter dives in to try to save her but is too late. Grabbing hold of the shark’s fin, he is pulled through the water. Preacher grabs hold of the harpoon and shoots the shark through its dorsal fin, but the spear also goes through Carter’s thigh. As the shark breaks through the fence, Carter is attached to the shark by the harpoon. He tells Preacher to connect the trailing wire to a car battery, sending an electric current through the wire and to an explosive charge in the harpoon, killing the shark. Carter managed to free himself in time, and he swims to the wreckage of the facility, joining Preacher in time to see the workers’ boat en-route on the horizon.If you know going into this movie that it is about a bunch of super intelligent mako sharks eating a bunch of human beings, then you can dismiss all of the scientific explanations and exposition as just prologue. You do not have to understand it and you can probably get away with even paying attention to it, because once the shark attacks begin that is all that is going to matter with this film. This is not the thinking person’s shark attack film.

REVIEW: BATMAN & MR.FREEZE: SUBZERO

CAST (VOICES)

Kevin Conroy (Batman: TAS)
Loren Lester (Red Eye)
Michael Ansara (Buck Rogers)
Efrem Zimbalist JR. (Hot Shots)
George Dzunda (The Deer Hunter)
Robert Costanazo (Total Recall)
Bob Hastings (Wonder Woman TV)
Mary Kay Bergman (Extreme Ghostbusters)
Marilu Henner (The Crazy Ones)
Dean Jones (Jailhouse Rock)
Townsend Coleman (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Brian George (The Big Bang Theory)
Mari Devon (Digimon)
Carl Lumbly (Supergirl)
Tress MacNeille (Futurama)
Neil Ross (Transformers: The Movie)
Lauren Tom (Bad Santa)

Since his last encounter against Batman, Mr. Freeze has found a home in the Arctic and started a family (of sorts) with the still cryogenically-encased Nora, an Inuit boy named Kunac, and two pet polar bears, Hotchka and Shaka. Nora’s condition begins to rapidly deteriorate due to a submarine accidentally emerging from underwater directly underneath them, shattering her containment vessel. Freeze returns to Gotham City with his companions. He enlists the help of Dr. Gregory Belson to find a cure. Belson determines that Nora needs an organ transplant, but due to her rare blood type there are no suitable donors available.
Batman and Mr. Freeze: SubZero
Freeze declares that they will use a live donor, even if it means the donor will die in the process. Belson is at first reluctant to kill an innocent girl, but Freeze bribes him with a gold nugget and even more gold from an entire vein in the Arctic that will put an end to Belson’s financial problems. Barbara Gordon (Batgirl) is a perfect match, and Freeze learns from her roommate that she is at a restaurant with her boyfriend, Dick Grayson (Robin). Freeze attacks the restaurant and kidnaps Barbara, taking her to an abandoned oil rig where he and Belson are hiding. Freeze and Belson explain the situation to Barbara, who claims that she is willing to help Nora for the “blood transfusion”, but not at the oil rig, prompting Freeze to keep Barbara imprisoned. When the time for the operation comes, Barbara realizes that they are lying when they say she will need to be put under for a mere transfusion. She escapes with the help of Kunac. Belson gives pursuit and almost catches her, before the arrival of Batman and Robin.

Freeze follows, and in the ensuing confrontation, Belson accidentally shoots one of the fuel tanks and starts a rapidly spreading fire as Freeze traps Batman and Robin. Freeze insists that Belson perform the operation, despite the oil rig blazing and ready to explode, but Belson betrays Freeze and attempts to escape alone, only to be killed by falling wreckage. Freeze’s leg is broken, but he tells Batman to save Nora and Kunac first, along with Barbara. Nora, Kunac and Barbara are taken to safety in the Batwing with the help of Robin, but Batman fails to save the weakened Freeze in time, as the platform collapses beneath them, hitting him in the shoulder, and sending Freeze plummeting into the ocean below.

Batman manages to get aboard the Batwing just before the oil rig finally explodes, but Freeze escapes just in time, holding onto the swimming Hotchka and Shaka. Freeze then returns with his polar bears to the Arctic to resume his life alone, having frozen his leg in an ice cast. He sees on a television in a research station that Nora has been revived after an organ transplant operation funded by Wayne Enterprises, moving him to tears of joy. Then he walks away, limping with a wooden stick for support, with his two polar bears as the screen fades.2616-2Alongside Mask of the Phantasm, this movie is a great tribute to the Animated Series that brought Batman into children’s lives. This movie, even though it was animated, was serious, realistic, and had a great plot. The fact that it came out after Shcumaker’s Batman & Robin, is a shame, due to the fact that this movie, an animated movie, blows the big screen movie out of the water. Just goes to show the difference between a great movie and director, and a horrible movie.

REVIEW: SOUTH PARK: BIGGER, LONGER & UNCUT

CAST (VOICES)
Trey Parker (Orgazmo)
Matt Stone (Team America)
Mary Kay Bergman (The Iron Giant)
Isaac Hayes (Stargate Sg.1)
George Clooney (The IDes of March)
Brent Spiner (Star Trek: TNG)
Minnie Driver (Good Will Hunting)
Dave Foley (A Bug’s Life)
Eric Idle (Life of Brian)
Mike Judge (Office Space)
southpark
Stan Marsh, Kenny McCormick, Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman head to the local movie theater to see the new film Terrance and Phillip: Asses of Fire which stars the boys’ favorite Canadian comedy duo Terrance and Phillip (“Mountain Town”), but when the boys get there, they are refused entry due to the film being rated R by the MPAA, so they pay a homeless man to accompany them. The boys learn obscene phrases from the movie (“Uncle Fucka”) which makes the other kids in town want to see the movie. Stan finds his love interest, Wendy, ice-skating with a well-educated boy from Yardsdale named Gregory (“Wendy’s Song”). Whenever Stan tries to talk to Wendy he throws up (Wendy is now starting to be disgusted by his frequent vomiting, unlike in the show), so he asks Chef for advice on how to impress women. He is told that all he needs to do is to find the clitoris. Stan does not know what the clitoris is, but nevertheless searches for it throughout the film.
The kids begin cursing in class, so they are sent to see Counselor Mackey who informs their mothers. Learning that the language was from the movie, their parents force the teachers to enforce a strict dress code banning all types of Terrance and Phillip clothing and abandon their previous lesson plans and run a rehabilitation center for the kids to get them to stop swearing (“It’s Easy, M’Kay”). Afterwards, the boys and the rest of the children go to see the movie again. Kenny bets Cartman $100 that he can set his fart on fire like Terrance did in the film. Kenny immolates himself and dies when the doctors accidentally replace his heart with a baked potato. The boys are grounded for seeing the Terrance & Phillip movie again and Kenny is refused admission to Heaven and sent to Hell (“Hell Isn’t Good”), where he is tormented by Satan and Saddam Hussein who are gay lovers. The parents of South Park organize a boycott against Canada and Terrance and Phillip (“Blame Canada”), which is led by Sheila (Kyle’s mother). The new group of angry mob, called “Mothers Against Canada” has Terrance and Phillip arrested as war criminals, and when the United States refuses to release the duo, Canada strikes back by bombing the residence of the Baldwin brothers.
Sheila, now the appointed as “Secretary of Offense of the United States” and President Bill Clinton announce that the United States will go war with Canada and will have Terrance and Phillip executed at an upcoming USO show. After overhearing Cartman leading the kids in annoying Kyle with a song degrading herself and admonishing her ridiculous methods (“Kyle’s Mom’s a Bitch”), she has Dr. Vosknocker forcibly implant a V-Chip in Cartman. The device gives sharp violent electrical shock every time Cartman swears. Meanwhile, back in Hell, Satan declares that if the blood of the two innocent Canadians touches American soil, it will be time for him to rise up and rule the world. Saddam wants to come with him, but Satan is tired of being bossed around by Saddam (“Up There”). Kenny tells Satan to break up with Saddam to which Satan initially agrees, but Saddam wins back Satan with a song (“I Can Change”). Kenny’s ghost visits Cartman to warn him of the consequences of executing Terrance and Phillip. The boys, after failing to convince their parents, decide to take matters into their own hands (“What Would Brian Boitano Do”). They have a secret meeting to talk about how they can save Terrance and Phillip. They form La Resistance and Gregory tells Stan to recruit a God-hating French expert on covert operations named “The Mole” (“La Resistance”).
South_Park_-_Bigger,_Longer_&_Uncut-24_35775
While the troops, waiting for the execution of Terrance and Phillip, are being entertained by Big Gay Al (“I’m Super”), La Resistance and The Mole infiltrate the USO show, but The Mole is discovered by Sheila and the guards and is killed by guard dogs after Cartman fails to deactivate the alarms (“The Mole’s Reprise”). The remaining three children attempt to warn their mothers and the army about what will happen if Terrance and Phillip are killed, but they instead laugh at them, and Mr. Garrison throws the switch to the electric chair. A large Canadian force attacks the base and a massive battle ensues between the two armies. In the confusion, the boys are able to free Terrance and Phillip, though Cartman’s V-chip begins to malfunction from the electric shock. The other mothers, seeing the destruction their “Mothers Against Canada” movement has incited, decide to call it quits and head off to look for their children. After being stunned by an explosion, Stan has a hallucination and is visited by “The Clitoris” which tells him that all he needs is confidence if he wants to win Wendy’s heart and also reminds him about what’s more important: saving the world.
Stan leads the kids to find Terrance and Phillip who have been cornered by the US army. La Resistance forms a human shield while Kyle tries to persuade the army and his mother against killing the two, stating that he wants her to stop fighting everyone and deal with him. However, Sheila refuses and shoots Terrance and Phillip which fulfills the prophecy and results in Satan, his minions, and Saddam rising from Hell and attacking both Canadian and United States armies; as a result, Sheila now regrets everything, even though she wanted “to make the world a better place for children.” Saddam immediately tries to usurp Satan’s authority, demanding homage and announcing his intent to rule the world himself. Cartman is able to hold Saddam off by using his malfunctioning V-Chip to generate massive blasts of lightning every time he swears. With Kenny’s encouragement, Satan finally gets rid of Saddam by casting him back to Hell and getting impaled on a sharp stalagmite. Satan then grants Kenny a wish in repayment: Kenny asks for everything to return to how it was before the war, even though it means he’ll go back to Hell. He takes off his hood to say goodbye to his friends, revealing his face and voice for the first time. All the other deceased characters are brought back to life, the Canadians and Americans become friends again, Wendy becomes Stan’s girlfriend again and dumps Gregory (she never really liked him), and everything returns to normal in South Park (“Mountain Town (reprise)”). Instead of returning to Hell, Kenny ascends to Heaven due to his act of sacrifice, where naked angels are waiting for him and he is granted a halo and wings.
In a post-credits scene, Ike is still in the attic (when Kyle was hiding him from the American soldiers from taking him to an interment camp) and then eats a mouse that scampers by.
In essense it’s a very worthy release and is a must for any South Park fans out there. Please note, don’t expect groundbreaking special effects and all that jazz. It’s delightfully ruthlessly in-your-face crude, juvenile, political, outlandish and sheerly obscene. It’s South Park.