REVIEW: BONES – SEASON 5

Starring

Emily Deschanel (Boogeyman)
David Boreanaz (Angel)
Michaela Conlin (Yellowstone)
Tamara Taylor (Lost)
T. J. Thyne (Ghost World)
John Francis Daley (Game Night)

David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel in Bones (2005)

Recurring / Notable Guest Cast

Cyndi Lauper (Here and There)
Patricia Belcher (Jeepers Creepers)
Michael Grant Terry (Grimm)
Christopher B. Duncan (Veronica Mars)
Michael Arden (Bride Wars)
Riki Lindhome (The Muppets)
Eugene Byrd (Arrow)
Tiffany Hines (Nikita)
Michael B. Jordan (Black Panther)
Kaitlin Doubleday (Empire)
Pej Vahdat (Shameless)
Leonardo Nam (Westworld)
Reggie Austin (Agent Carter)
Billy Gardell (Mike & Molly)
Cheryl White (Major Crimes)
Paula Newsome (Guess Who)
Josie Davis (The Hot Seat)
Amy Gumenick (Arrow)
Carla Gallo (Superbad)
Diedrich Bader (American Housewife)
Andy Umberger (Buffy: TVS)
Tracy Middendorf (Scream: The Series)
Joel David Moore (Avatar)
Stephen Fry (V For Vendetta)
Ryan Cartwright (Alphas)
Dan Castellaneta (The Simpsons)
Debbie Lee Carrington (Total Recall)
Wynn Everett (Agent Carter)
Martin Klebba (Scrubs)
Sarah Rafferty (Suits)
Lindsay Hollister (Get Smart)
Ralph Waite (The Waltons)
Nakia Burrise (Power Rangers Zeo)
Mickey Jones (Total Recall)
Zooey Deschanel (New Girl)
Ryan O’Neal (Love Story)
Dorian Missick (The Cape)
Dale Dickey (Iron Man 3)
Penny Johnson Jerald (The Orville)
Richard T. Jones (Terminator: TSCC)
Brendan Fehr (Roswell)
Dilshad Vadsaria (The Oath)
Fay Masterson (Eyes Wide Shut)
Robert Gant (Supergirl)
Joshua Malina (The Big Bang Theory)
Henri Lubatti (Angel)
Amanda Schull (Pretty Little Liars)
Rusty Schwimmer (Highlander 2)
Clea DuVall (Better Call Saul)
Eric Millegan (Phobic)
Megan Hilty (Smash)
Jenica Bergere (Rat Race)
Victor Webster (Mutant X)
Ben Falcone (New Girl)
Suzy Nakamura (Dead To Me)
Robert Englund (A Nightmare On Elm Street)
Ravil Isyanov (Transformers: Dark of The Moon)
Rena Sofer (Heroes)
Michael Des Barres (Poison Ivy 3)
Kate Vernon (Battlestar Galactica)
William Stanford Davis (A Lot Like Love)
Deirdre Lovejoy (The Blacklist)
Billy Gibbons (Two and a Half Men)

Michaela Conlin, Emily Deschanel, Tamara Taylor, and T.J. Thyne in Bones (2005)At the beginning of the fifth season of the wildly popular forensic drama “Bones,” many viewers tuned in trepidatiously after the spectacularly strange fourth season finale. Thankfully, all fears were allayed and relieved when the fifth season kicked into high gear in the very first episode and maintained that pace throughout the season; “Bones”‘ fifth season is perhaps its greatest yet.David Boreanaz, Emily Deschanel, and Randy Oglesby in Bones (2005)The one thing that has always set “Bones” apart from the countless other procedurals on the airwaves right now is the focus on the characters solving the crimes rather than the crimes themselves, and the strength of this approach shines through brilliantly in every episode of this season.David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel in Bones (2005)David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel return to the roles of Booth and Bones and deliver their strongest performances yet as each character is shaken to their core. As Booth struggles to regain his sense of self, he has to confront the knowledge of his feelings for his partner, while Bones herself goes through a whirlwind of emotion as the emotional barriers she has erected around her heart begin to crumble down, leaving her questioning not only herself but her relationship with Booth as well as her work at the Jeffersonian itself. The tension between the two has never been more delicious or more addictive, and both lead actors knock their roles absolutely out of the park.David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel in Bones (2005)But while the relationship between Booth and Brennan becomes increasingly more complex, the wonderful supporting cast of engaging characters at the Jeffersonian keep the show moving along briskly and lightly. Cam (Tamara Taylor) must run the lab while dealing with the challenge of being a good mother, guiding the team effectively toward each conclusion; Sweets (John Francis Daley) continues to provide invaluable insight into the minds of the team; Angela (Michaela Conlin) remains the emotional heart and soul of the team as she opens her heart to love’s possibilities; and Hodgins (TJ Thyne) struggles with his feelings for Angela as he returns to his abrasive, loveable self.David Boreanaz, Dan Castellaneta, and Emily Deschanel in Bones (2005)The cases themselves have regained a fascinating light as the mysteries the team confronts become more complex, and the special effects department has outdone themselves in the gore and goop department this year as Booth and Bones investigate some of the most gruesome crime scenes in history, all moved along by the brisk black humor the show excels at; the team investigates a possible secret agent locked in a truck for days, a would-be rocker torn to pieces by an industrial washer/dryer, a gamer literally melted in a vat of fast-food grease, and a dozen more cheerfully disgusting cases where the outcomes of the mysteries hold the power to shock and surprise the audience; the writers have once again caught the perfect balance between the whodunnit and the drama to craft a truly unique show.David Boreanaz and Ralph Waite in Bones (2005)But it’s not merely the cases that hold the viewers’ attention this season; season five is full of true powerhouse episodes: heartbreaking cases like “The Plain in the Prodigy”; darkly comical shows like “The Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood”; truly shocking mysteries like “The Proof in the Pudding,”; and even a historically fascinating case written by the author of the original Temperance Brennan novels Kathy Reichs herself (“The Witch in the Wardrobe”) — however, all of these merely lead up to the three knockout moments of the season:David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel in Bones (2005)In the fifth season, “Bones” reaches its 100th episode, “The Parts in the Sum of the Whole.” Likely the most beloved and most contested episode in the show’s history, the 100th episode completely redefined Booth and Brennan’s relationship as it showed the viewers the pair’s first meeting, something never before revealed, and circles around to one of the most hearbreaking and yet most powerfully hopeful moments of the series. “Parts” was also directed by David Boreanaz, one of the series’ leads, and the sheer emotion wrung out of Boreanaz and Deschanel by the end speaks volumes to the talent of the show’s leads.David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel in Bones (2005)As the series continues, however, the characters were shocked to their cores as they were forced to come face-to-face with their most terrifying adversary yet: the cunningly frightening sociopath dubbed The Gravedigger, in “The Boy with the Answer,” a nail-bitingly tense hour of television that had viewers’ hearts pounding as Heather Taffet, the Gravedigger, proved that her true arena was the courtroom, tearing apart her victims and throwing the entire future of Brennan’s life into question.David Boreanaz and Emily Deschanel in Bones (2005)This only segues into the season’s amazingly dramatic finale, “The Beginning in the End.” As the team investigates the home of a hoarder, Bones questions what she truly wants to do with her life, Booth’s past comes calling, and Angela’s father blows back into town, all leading to a truly shocking season ender, a masterful finale that not only redefined the very foundations of the show and the characters but also continued to set the show on a rising point, ensuring that every faithful viewer of “Bones” will be frantically waiting for the sixth season to premiere in the fall.

REVIEW: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD’S END

PIRATES OF C 3

CAST

Johnny Depp (Into The Woods)
Geoffrey Rush (The King’s Speech)
Orlando Bloom (Lord of The Rings)
Keira Knightley (Atonement)
Jack Davenport (Flash Forward)
Bill Nighy (Wrath of the Titans)
Jonathan Pryce (Game of Thrones)
Lee Arenberg (Once Upon A Time)
Mackenzie Crook (Solomon Kane)
Kevin McNally (Valkyrie)
Stellan Skarsgard (Avengvers Assemble)
Tom Hollander (Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation)
Martin Klebba (The Cape)
Naomie Harris (Skyfall)
Chow Yun fat (Crouching Tiger, Hidden tiger)
Keith Richards (The Simpsons)
Marshall Manesh (How I Met Your Mother)
Vanessa Branch (The Cell)
Reggie Lee (The Dark Knight Rises)
Takayo Fischer Moneyball)
Omid Djalili (The Mummy)
Mark Hildreth (V)

To control the oceans, Lord Cutler Beckett executes anyone associated with piracy by ordering Davy Jones to destroy all pirate ships in the seas. Condemned prisoners sing “Hoist the Colours” to compel the nine Pirate Lords to convene at Shipwreck Cove to hold the Brethren Court. Captain Jack Sparrow, one of the Pirate Lords, never named a successor. Captain Barbossa, along with Will Turner, Elizabeth Swann, Tia Dalma, and the crew of the Black Pearl, plot to rescue Jack from Davy Jones’s Locker. Travelling to Singapore, the crew meet Captain Sao Feng who owns navigational charts to the Locker. Beckett’s soldiers invade, but the crew escape. Feng and Turner make a deal to give Jack to Feng, so he in turn can use the Pearl to rescue his father Bootstrap Bill from the Flying Dutchman. The crew travels to the locker and rescues the marooned Jack. They find themselves trapped, encountering dead souls, including Elizabeth’s father Governor Swann. They learn the Dutchman must have a captain. Returning to the living world, the Pearl is attacked by Sao Feng and Beckett’s men. Through a complex series of deals, Elizabeth is handed over to Feng under the belief she is the goddess Calypso, while the rest of the crew make for Shipwreck Cove aboard the Pearl, though Jack later throws Will off the ship as part of the plan to seize control of the Dutchman. Sao Feng tells Elizabeth that the Brethren Court bound Calypso in human form after she betrayed her lover, Davy Jones. He plans to release her to defeat Beckett. Davy Jones attacks Feng’s ship, but Feng appoints Elizabeth his successor as Pirate Lord before dying. Admiral Norrington frees Elizabeth and her new crew from the Dutchman, but is killed by a crazed Bootstrap Bill.p17242549_b_v8_abThe Black Pearl arrives at Shipwreck Cove where Barbossa attempts to persuade the Brethren Court to release Calypso. Jack’s father Captain Teague and Keeper of the Pirate Code, informs the Court that only an elected Pirate King can decide. A vote is taken. To avoid a stalemate, Jack casts his vote for Elizabeth, making her King. Davy Jones visits Tia Dalma in the Pearl’s brig, revealing she is Calypso, and they promise to be together again.

The Brethren Court and Beckett’s fleets emerge for war. On a sandbank, Elizabeth, Jack, Barbossa, Beckett, Jones, and Will parley, trading Will for Jack, and Barbossa steals Jack’s piece of eight, all of which are owned by the Pirate Lords and required to free Calypso. Barbossa frees Calypso, but when Will reveals it was Jones who imprisoned her, Calypso vanishes and summons an enormous maelstrom.

The Pearl and the Dutchman battle in the maelstrom. Elizabeth and Will are wed by Barbossa before swinging over to the Dutchman to aid Jack. On board the Dutchman, Jones and Jack engage in a duel, with Jones gaining the upper hand. Jones stabs Will with a sword, but Jack and Elizabeth have Will stab Jones’ heart. Jones dies, and falls in the maelstrom, free for all eternity. Will succumbs to his injuries. Jack and Elizabeth escape the Dutchman as it is sucked into the maelstrom. As Beckett’s ship, the Endeavour, approaches to destroy the Pearl, the Dutchman rises, now captained by Will, and the crew free of Jones’ curse. Together, the two pirate ships destroy the Endeavour, with a stunned Beckett going down with the ship while his army retreats. With Will now bound to escort souls lost at sea to the next world for ten years, Will and Elizabeth consummate their marriage before he departs on the Dutchman.

Jack and Joshamee Gibbs discover Barbossa has stolen the Black Pearl again, but Jack planned ahead and cut out Sao Feng’s navigational charts, departing from Tortuga alone to track down the mythical Fountain of Youth to become immortal. Ten years later, Elizabeth and her son watch from a sea cliff as Will returns aboard the Dutchman.

At World’s End is a great film, making superb use of its immense budget and wowing audiences with incredible set-pieces and climactic action.  At World’s End is a solidly entertaining film, held up by brilliant action

 

 

REVIEW: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN’S CHEST

CAST

Johnny Depp (Into The Woods)
Geoffrey Rush (The King’s Speech)
Orlando Bloom (Lord of The Rings)
Keira Knightley (Atonement)
Jack Davenport (Flash Forward)
Bill Nighy (Wrath of the Titans)
Jonathan Pryce (Game of Thrones)
Lee Arenberg (Once Upon A Time)
Mackenzie Crook (Solomon Kane)
Kevin McNally (Valkyrie)
Stellan Skarsgard (Avengvers Assemble)
Tom Hollander (Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation)
Martin Klebba (The Cape)
Naomie Harris (Skyfall)
Derrick O’Connor (Alias)
Reggie Lee (The Dark Knight Rises)
Andy Beckwith (Game of Thrones)
Gerry O’Brien (Veronica Guerin)
Vanessa Branch (The Cell)

The wedding of Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann is interrupted by Lord Cutler Beckett of the East India Trading Company, who has arrest warrants for the couple as well as for Commodore James Norrington, for allowing Captain Jack Sparrow to escape execution. Norrington’s whereabouts are uncertain, as he resigned after his obsessive pursuit of Sparrow resulted in the Navy’s flagship, HMS Dauntless, being destroyed in a typhoon. Elizabeth is imprisoned, but Beckett promises to free her if Will tracks down Jack and brings Beckett Jack’s magic compass which points to whatever the holder wants most. Shortly after, Governor Swann tries to escape Port Royal with Elizabeth but is captured. Elizabeth negotiates with Beckett to let her escape to find the compass herself, and she hides aboard a Scottish merchant vessel, the Edinburgh Trader.
On the Black Pearl, Jack reunites with Will’s father Bootstrap Bill, who reveals he is a crewman on the Flying Dutchman, captained by Davy Jones, whom Jack previously made a deal with to raise the Pearl from the depths. Jack must join Jones’ crew or be dragged to Davy Jones’ Locker by the monstrous Kraken. Will eventually finds Jack’s crew on an island ruled by cannibals, from which they escape. The crew meet voodoo priestess Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), who tells them Jones’ weakness is his heart, locked within the Dead Man’s Chest. Locating the Dutchman, Will is shanghaied into service while Jones sends Jack to bring him one-hundred souls so his blood debt can be paid. On the Dutchman, Will meets his father, and learns that the chest’s key is in Jones’ possession. After playing a game of liar’s dice against Davy Jones, Bootstrap helps Will escape with the key, but Jones sends the Kraken after him, sinking the Edinburgh Trader.
In Tortuga, Jack hires a new crew, including Elizabeth, and Norrington, now a drunk. All parties arrive on Isla Cruces where the chest is buried but a three-way sword fight breaks out between Jack, Will, and Norrington who all want the heart for their respective goals: Jack wants to call off the Kraken, Will wants to rescue his father, and Norrington wants to regain his life. In the chaos, Jack obtains Jones’ heart and hides it in a jar of dirt, but Norrington secretly steals the heart and runs off pretending to lure away the Dutchman’s crew. Jones attacks the Pearl with the Kraken, which devours most of the crew and destroys all but one of the Pearl’s lifeboats, but Jack, who briefly fled, returns and wounds it with a net full of explosives.

Jack orders the survivors to abandon ship, but Elizabeth manacles him to the mast so that the crew can escape the Kraken. Jack manages to break free, but is dragged down to the bottom of the sea by the Kraken. Jones discovers his heart is missing and rages. In Port Royal, Norrington approaches Beckett and gives him the heart and Letters of Marque meant for Jack, allowing him back into the navy as well as allowing Beckett to gain control of Davy Jones and the seas. The Pearl’s crew take shelter with Tia Dalma, where they all agree to rescue Jack. Tia Dalma introduces the captain that will guide them: the resurrected Captain Barbossa.Yes it is darker, much darker than the original. But I think the darkness only adds to the film. It makes the film more credible, rather than a children’s story.

REVIEW: PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: THE CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL

CAST

Johnny Depp (Into The Woods)
Geoffrey Rush (The King’s Speech)
Orlando Bloom (Lord of The Rings)
Keira Knightley (Atonement)
Jack Davenport (Flash Forward)
Jonathan Pryce (Game of Thrones)
Lee Arenberg (Once Upon A Time)
Mackenzie Crook (Solomon Kane)
Kevin McNally (Valkyrie)
Zoe Saldana (Star Trek)
Martin Klebba (The Cape)
Vanessa Branch (The Cell)

In the early 18th Century while sailing to Port Royal, Jamaica, Governor Weatherby Swann, his daughter Elizabeth, and Lieutenant James Norrington encounter a burning shipwreck and recover a young boy, Will Turner. Elizabeth discovers a golden pirate medallion around his neck, but keeps it so as to protect him. As boats are launched to scour the wreck, Elizabeth sees a ghost ship vanishing into the fog. Eight years later, Norrington is promoted to Commodore and proposes to Elizabeth, but her tight corset makes her faint and fall into the sea. Will’s necklace, which she is wearing, casts a summoning spell. Captain Jack Sparrow comes to Port Royal intending to commandeer a ship, and rescues her. Norrington identifies Jack, and a chase ensues. Jack runs into Will, now a blacksmith and talented swordsman. They duel, and Jack is knocked unconscious, and captured and imprisoned.

That night, the Black Pearl, the ship Elizabeth saw as a child, attacks Port Royal in search of the medallion that summoned it. Two pirates capture Elizabeth and take her to meet Captain Barbossa for negotiations. Elizabeth says her last name is Turner, to conceal her identity as the governor’s daughter, but Barbossa takes her as prisoner. Elizabeth tries and fails to kill him, and Barbossa reveals that after his crew took the Aztec treasure of Cortés from Isla de Muerta, they were cursed as immortals, and they appear as skeletons in moonlight. To lift the curse, they need to return all 882 gold pieces and sacrifice the blood of the owner of each piece. Elizabeth’s medallion is the final piece.

Will Turner frees Jack from prison to rescue his love Elizabeth. Jack agrees upon learning Will’s surname. The two commandeer the HMS Interceptor, infuriating Norrington, and head for the lawless port of Tortuga to recruit a crew. Among the crew is Jack’s friend Joshamee Gibbs. Jack reveals that Will’s father Bootstrap Bill Turner was a pirate, which confuses and angers the law-abiding Will. Gibbs tells Will that Jack was captain of the Black Pearl until Barbossa mutinied and marooned him on an island; Jack escaped and vowed revenge on Barbossa. At Isla de Muerta, Will and Jack witness Barbossa sacrificing Elizabeth’s blood and the final gold piece. However, the curse is not lifted because the medallion did not belong to Elizabeth; it belonged to Bootstrap Bill, making Will the owner by bloodline. Will rescues Elizabeth and brings her to the “Interceptor”, while Jack and his crew confront Barbossa aboard the “Pearl” and get locked in the brig.p17242549_b_v8_abThe Pearl pursues the Interceptor, taking the crew hostage and destroying the ship. Will makes a deal with Barbossa to let Elizabeth go free in exchange for his blood to lift the curse, but Barbossa exploits a loophole in the agreement and maroons Jack and Elizabeth on the same island Jack was left on before. Elizabeth makes a smoke signal, and Commodore Norrington brings the “HMS Dauntless” to rescue Elizabeth and arrest Jack. Elizabeth requests Norrington to return for Will, convincing him by accepting his marriage proposal. That night, the Dauntless arrives at Isla de Muerta. Jack plans to lure the pirates out to be ambushed by the crew of the “Dauntless”, but the plan goes awry when Barbossa’s crew walks underwater to attack Dauntless.p17242549_b_v8_abElizabeth escapes the “Dauntless” and frees Jack’s crew from the brig of the Pearl. However, they refuse to help her rescue Will, so Elizabeth sets out on her own. Jack seemingly reaches a deal with Barbossa to operate a pirate fleet, but suddenly frees Will and engages in a duel with Barbossa, while Elizabeth and Will fight off Barbossa’s crew. Barbossa eventually stabs Jack, but Jack is revealed to be under the immortal curse as well, having taken and kept a piece of gold from Cortez’s chest. He reveals the entire deception as a coup to win back the Pearl. Jack shoots Barbossa, and Will simultaneously drops the final medallion into the chest, with his blood on it. The curse is now lifted, causing Barbossa to become mortal; Barbossa dies from Jack’s gunshot, and the rest of Barbossa’s crew are captured or killed by the Navy. Jack, Elizabeth, and Will escape the island.

Upon returning to Port Royal, Jack is led to the gallows to be hanged for piracy. Elizabeth diverts Norrington’s attention and Will attempts a rescue, but Will and Jack are surrounded and held at gunpoint. Elizabeth intercedes and declares her love for Will, leaving Norrington crestfallen. Jack dives into the sea and escapes aboard the Black Pearl, which is waiting nearby. Governor Swann pardons Will and gives his blessing for Elizabeth to marry him. Norrington decides to permit Jack and the Pearl “one day’s head start” before initiating pursuit. In a post-credits scene, Barbossa’s pet monkey steals a piece of gold from the chest and regains immortality.Pirates is a cracking film, full of humour, action and pirate satire and has a wide appeal. If you haven’t seen it yet, which really is highly unlikely, then just buy it .

REVIEW: TED 2

CAST

Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy)
Mark Wahlberg (The Other Guys)
Amanda Seyfried (Pan)
Jessica Barth (Next)
Giovanni Ribisi (Avatar)
Morgan Freeman (The Dark Knight)
John Slattery (Mad men)
Patrick Warburton (Get Smart)
Michael Dorn (Star Trek: Ds9)
Bill Smitrovich (The Phantom)
Cocoa Brown (Big Fat Important Movie)
John Carroll Lynch (The Founder)
Jessica Szohr (Love Bite)
Tara Strong (Batman: The Killing Joke)
Sam J. Jones (Flash Gordon)
Sebastian Arcelus (Split)
Dennis Haysbert (Heat)
Liam Neeson (Batman Begins)
Patrick Stewart (Ameircan Dad)
Nana Visitor (Star Trek: Ds9)
Ralph Garman (The Lego Batman Movie)
Ron Canada (Wedding Crashers)
Maggie Geha (Gotham)
Rachael MacFarlane (American Dad)
Bobby Moynihan (The Secret Life of Pets)
Kate McKinnon (Ghostbusters)
Taran Killam (122 Years a Slave)
Dustin Ybarra (US)
Avan Jogia (Shaft)
Martin Klebba (Left Behind)
David Hasselhoff (Knight Rider)

John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) has been divorced from Lori Collins for six months. Meanwhile, his best friend Ted (Seth MacFarlane), marries his girlfriend, Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth). One year later, with their marriage is beginning to break-down so they decide to have a child. As Ted can not have children, John agrees to help Ted find a sperm donor, They asked Sam J. Jones but he refuses due to a low sperm count, they try unsuccessfully to break into Tom Brady’s house and steal his sperm. Ultimately, John offers to donate his sperm.Despite Ted and John’s efforts, Tami-Lynn’s historical drug use has rendered her infertile and the couple decide to adopt. As background checks are carried out, Ted brings his legal status as a person into question. The state authorities of Massachusetts declare Ted property rather than a person, resulting in the loss of his job at a grocery store – shortly after reassuring a customer (Liam Neeson) that buying a box of Trix, as an adult, will not bring him to any harm. Furthermore, his marriage to Tami-Lynn is annulled.John suggests that they take the state to court, and their case is assigned to a novice lawyer pro-bono, Samantha Leslie Jackson (Amanda Seyfried). The three bond over their love of marijuana as they prepare to present the case.Meanwhile, Donny (Giovanni Ribisi), Ted’s life-long stalker and would-be abductor, is now employed as a janitor at the headquarters of toy company Hasbro, in New York City. He convinces the company CEO to hire an expert attorney (John Slattery) to ensure that Ted maintains his status as property, therefore leaving him open to seizure by the firm to create more living teddy bears.Despite Samantha’s best efforts, the court rules against Ted. Disheartened but desperate, the trio contact Patrick Meighan (Morgan Freeman), a highly respected civil rights attorney, hoping he’ll take the case and overturn the court’s decision. Driving to Manhattan to meet him, Ted crashes into a hidden marijuana patch, where Samantha and John realize their attraction for each other. The next day, the trio meet Meighan, who is sympathetic to Ted’s plight but ultimately refuses the case, as he believes he has not significantly contributed to humanity due to his juvenile slacker lifestyle.Ted, angry at the injustice and jealous of Samantha and John’s new relationship, runs off. Donny follows him as he wanders into the New York Comic-Con. Once inside, Donny attempts to kidnap Ted, who flees and contacts John for help. John and Samantha arrive at Comic-Con and search for Ted, arriving as Donny is about to cut him open. As they make their escape, Donny cuts the cables holding up a model of the USS Enterprise and it swings towards Ted. John pushes Ted out of the way, takes the hit, and is knocked unconscious. Ted identifies Donny and he is arrested.At the hospital, Samantha, Ted and Tami-Lynn rejoice when John recovers. Patrick Meighan decides to take the case, telling them he has been inspired by John’s selflessness and Ted’s emotions over his fallen friend. Meighan gets the ruling overturned by demonstrating that Ted is self-aware, that he feels complex emotions, and is capable of empathy. Outside the court, Ted re-proposes to Tami-Lynn. After they are re-married, Ted and Tami-Lynn, adopting the surname of “Clubberlang”, adopt a baby boy, whom they name Apollo Creed, while John and Samantha happily pursue their own relationship.A good laugh, even  better than the original in my opinion. If you like Ted/Family Guy/other Seth Macfarlane shows, I’d definitely recommend this

 

REVIEW: MOVIE 43

CAST

Dennis Quaid (The Day After Tomorrow)
Greg Kinnear (Ghost Town)
Common (Wanted)
Hugh Jackman (Logan)
Kate Winslet (Divergent)
Liev Schreiber (The 5th Wave)
Naomi Watts (King Kong)
Anna Faris (Mom)
Chris Pratt (Passengers)
Kristen Bell (Bad Moms)
Seth MacFalrane (Family Guy)
Emma Stone (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Charlie Saxton (Hung)
Leslie Bibb (American Housewife)
Uma Thurman (KillBill)
Bobby Cannavale (Ant-Man)
Kate Bosworth (Superman Returns)
Will Sasso (Happy Gilmore)
Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad)
Chloe Grace Moretz (The 5th Wave)
Odessa Rae (Hard Candy)
Terrence Howard (Iron Man 2)
Elizabeth Banks (Power Rangers)
Josh Duhamel (Transformers)
Tony Shalhoub (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Gerard Butler (Gamer)
Seann William Scott (American Pie)
Katie Finneran (Wonderfalls)
Halle Berry (X-Men)
Justin Long (Jeepers Creepers)
Jason Sudeikis (Son of Zorn)
Julie Claire (Devious Minds)
Stephen Merchant (The Office)
Johnny Knoxville (The Last Stand)
Richard Gere (Primal Fear)
Julie Ann Emery (Fargo)
J.B. Smoove (Date Night)
Jarrad Paul (The Grinder)
Katrina Bowden (30 Rock)
Kieran Culkin (Scott Pilgrim Vs The World)
Aasif Mandvi (The Dictator)
Julianne Moore (Carrie)
Anton Yelchin (Star Trek)
Fisher Stevens (Hail, Caesar!)
Jack McBrayer (30 Rock)
Julie McNiven (Doom Patrol)
Jimmy Bennett (Orphan)
Matt Walsh (Ted)
Emily Alyn Lind (Revenge)
Martin Klebba (Project X)

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Movie 43 is a series of different skits containing different scenes and scenarios.

Movie 43

The Pitch

The film is composed of multiple comedy shorts presented through an overarching segment titled “The Pitch”, in which Charlie Wessler (Dennis Quaid), a mad screenwriter, is attempting to pitch a script to film executive Griffin Schraeder (Greg Kinnear). After revealing several of the stories in his script, Wessler becomes agitated when Schraeder dismisses his outrageous ideas, and he pulls a gun on him and forces him to listen to multiple other stories before making Schraeder consult his manager, Bob Mone (Common), to purchase the film. When they do so, Mone’s condescending, humiliating attitude toward Schraeder angers him to the point that, after agreeing to make the film “the biggest film since Howard the Duck”, he confronts Mone in the parking lot with a gun and tries to make him perform fellatio on the security guard (Will Sasso) (Wessler had gotten on the lot by doing the same thing) and kill him if he does not make the film. Wessler tries to calm Schraeder down with more story ideas to no avail, but Mone pulls out a gun and shoots Schraeder to death. The segment ends with it being revealed that it is being shot by a camera crew as part of the movie, leading into the final segments.

Alternative version (The Thread)

The structure of the film released in some countries, like the United Kingdom and the Netherlands, differs. Instead of a pitch, the films are connected by a group of three teenagers searching for the most banned film in the world, Movie 43, which will ultimately lead to the destruction of civilization. Calvin Cutler (Mark L. Young) and his friend J.J. (Adam Cagley) make a video in the style of MTV’s Jackass and upload it on YouTube where it instantly reaches over 1,000,000 views. This turns out to be an April Fool’s prank from Calvin’s younger brother Baxter (Devin Eash), who cloned YouTube and hyper-inflated the views while working on his science project. Calvin and J.J. attempt to get revenge. They tell Baxter of a film that’s so dangerous it will cause the annihilation of the world. The movie is known as Movie 43. While J.J. and Baxter look for Movie 43 on Google, Calvin retrieves Baxter’s laptop and loads it with viruses from porn sites, and masturbates to the naked women on the porn sites in a bathroom. Baxter finds hundreds of results for Movie 43 on a website referred to by him as a dark corner of the Internet. They find the sketches starting from the 43rd search on the list of results. As he and J.J. keep watching videos, they are interrupted by a man known as Vrankovich (Fisher Stevens) and a group of Chinese mobsters (Tim Chou and James Hsu) who are tempted to find Movie 43, even going as far as to take J.J.’s classmate Stevie Schraeder (Nate Hartley), film executive Griffin Schraeder’s oldest son, hostage. Vrankovich warns them that if they find Movie 43, civilization will be left to ruins. They ignore his claims and keep searching. They eventually find the real, the one and only Movie 43, which turns out to involve Baxter as a profane commando who leads a group of recruits to survive after the world has ended. As Calvin finishes ruining Baxter’s laptop, their mother (Beth Littleford) enters, wearing the same shirt and shorts that the porn site women wear, causing Calvin to flip out, have visions, and find semen from his erect crotch on his hand in shock and horror. Afterward, a deadly earthquake rumbles and mankind is lost. However, a few years later the only survivor, a crippled Calvin, finds Baxter’s laptop still working despite viral infections. He watches the last remaining skits on the laptop. This version of the film was released in the U.S. as part of the Blu-ray Disc of Movie 43 as an unrated alternate cut of the film

The Catch

Beth (Kate Winslet) is a single businesswoman who goes on a blind date with Davis (Hugh Jackman), the city’s most eligible bachelor. When the two arrive together at a restaurant, Beth is shocked when he removes his scarf, revealing a pair of testicles dangling from his neck. Over dinner it confuses her that Davis fails to acknowledge his anatomical abnormality, and that nobody seems to be surprised by it. When two friends of Davis (Roy Jenkins and Katie Finneran) come by, one of them convinces him to give Beth a kiss. Davis agrees, but when he kisses her, his neck-testicles are dangling near Beth’s mouth, causing her to scream and budge out of the kiss.

Homeschooled

Having recently moved, Sean (Alex Cranmer) and Clare (Julie Ann Emery) have coffee with their new neighbors. The neighbors, Robert (Liev Schreiber) and Samantha (Naomi Watts) have a teenage son, Kevin (Jeremy Allen White), whom they have home-schooled. Sean and Clare begin inquiring about the homeschooling, and the numerous manners in which Robert and Samantha have replicated a high school environment within their home, going as far as hazing, bullying, and giving out detentions, are revealed. They also throw high school parties and Samantha instigates Kevin’s “first kiss” with him. Visibly disturbed, the neighbors end up meeting Kevin, who says he is going out and gives them the impression that all is fine: until he reveals a doll made of a mop with Samantha’s face on it, referring to the doll as his girlfriend.

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The Proposition

Julie (Anna Faris) and Doug (Chris Pratt) have been in a relationship for a year. When he attempts to propose to her, she reveals to him that she is a coprophiliac, and asks him to defecate on her in the bedroom. Urged by his best friend Larry (J.B. Smoove) and others to go along with it, he eats a large meal and drinks a bottle of laxative prior to the event. Wanting foreplay, Julie is angered when Doug wants to finish, and she runs into the street. Chasing after her, he is then hit by a car and graphically evacuates his bowels everywhere. She cradles him and apologizes; covered and surrounded by his excrement on the road, she exclaims that it is the “most beautiful thing” she has ever seen and accepts his marriage proposal.

Veronica

Neil (Kieran Culkin) is working a night shift at a local grocery store. His ex-girlfriend, Veronica (Emma Stone), comes through his line and the two begin arguing, which soon turns into sexual discussion and flirtation as they lament over their relationship; unbeknownst to them, Neil’s intercom microphone broadcasts the entire explicit conversation throughout the store, where various elderly people and vagrants tune in. After she leaves in tears, the customers agree to cover his shift while he goes after her.

iBabe

A developing company is having a meeting in their headquarters over their newly released product, the “iBabe”, which is a life-sized, realistic replica of a nude woman which functions as an MP3 player. The boss (Richard Gere) listens to his various workers (Kate Bosworth, Aasif Mandvi and Jack McBrayer) argue over the placement of a fan that was built into the genital region of the iBabe, which is dismembering the penises of teenage boys who attempt to have sex with them. The board members then agree to strongly emphasize the dangers of the product via its new commercials.

Superhero Speed Dating

Robin (Justin Long) and his cohort Batman (Jason Sudeikis) are in Gotham City at a speed dating establishment seeking out a bomb threat by their nemesis, Penguin (John Hodgman). While Robin attempts to connect with various women through speed dating including Lois Lane (Uma Thurman) and Supergirl (Kristen Bell), Batman encounters his ex Wonder Woman (Leslie Bibb) and attempts to stop Penguin from detonating Supergirl, who later turns out to be the Riddler (Will Carlough) in disguise, which Batman already knew and was screwing with Robin, who kissed “her” moments before unveiling.

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Machine Kids

A faux-Public service announcement about children stuck in machines and how adults’ criticism of these particular machines affect the feelings of the children stuck inside the machines. This commercial was paid for by the “Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children Inside Machines”.

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Middleschool Date

Nathan (Jimmy Bennett) and Amanda (Chloë Grace Moretz) are watching television after school at Nathan’s house as their first “middle school” date. When they begin to kiss, his older brother Mikey (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) enters the living room and makes fun of them. Amanda then discovers she is menstruating and tries to hide it, and when Nathan sees blood on her pants, he panics and believes her to be bleeding to death, causing a debacle, which would later have Nathan and Mikey’s father Steve (Patrick Warburton) and Amanda’s father (Matt Walsh) involved. Amanda calls them out on their stupidity and feels embarrassed to know that she’s getting her first period in front of them and they don’t know what to do about it. When she leaves with her father, Nathan yells that the process of keeping the lining of her internal organs intact by inserting his erect phallus into her vagina is much too complicated and Mikey agrees. Steve cheers them up by farting in front of them. As Mikey goes to the bathroom, Nathan and Steve watch a game on television, which has a very graphic Tampax commercial in which a girl gets eaten by a shark due to her menstruating.

Tampax

Another faux-commercial involving two women who go swimming in the sea. As the women submerge into the water, a great shark suddenly appears and eats one of the women. A tagline appears, reading: “Tampax. Now Leak-Proof”

Happy Birthday

Pete (Johnny Knoxville) captures a leprechaun (Gerard Butler) for his roommate Brian (Seann William Scott) as a birthday present. After tying the leprechaun up in the basement, they demand he give them a pot of gold. The obscene leprechaun threatens that his brother is coming to save him. When he arrives, Brian and Pete are shot at but ultimately kill both leprechauns. At the end of the segment, Pete reveals he has also caught a fairy (Esti Ginzburg) who performs fellatio for gold coins.

Truth or Dare

Donald (Stephen Merchant) and Emily (Halle Berry) are on a date together at a Mexican restaurant. Tired of typical first dates, Emily challenges Donald to a game of truth or dare. She dares him to grab a man’s buttocks, and he follows with daring her to blow out the birthday candles on a blind boy’s cake. The game rapidly escalates to extremes, in which both of them get plastic surgery and tattoos, and humiliate themselves. When Donald and Emily arrive back at Emily’s apartment, they praise their date. Donald tries to kiss her, but she rejects him, claiming she’s not attracted to Asian men (which he was surgically altered to resemble). It is revealed that she was joking and invites him to have sex with her as she shows him her enlarged breasts.

Victory’s Glory

Set in 1959, Coach Jackson (Terrence Howard) is lecturing his all-black basketball team before their first game against an all-white team. Worried about losing the game, the timid players are lectured by the coach about their superiority in the sport over their white counterparts, which he expresses vulgarly. When the game ensues, the all-white team loses miserably yet rejoices in a single point they earn.

Beezel

Played mid-credits, Amy (Elizabeth Banks) worries that her boyfriend Anson’s (Josh Duhamel) cat, Beezel (an animated cartoon), is coming between their relationship. Beezel seems to detest Amy and anyone who comes between him and Anson, but Anson only sees Beezel as innocent. One day, Amy witnesses Beezel masturbating to summer vacation photos of Anson in a swimsuit. Beezel attacks her and violently urinates on her. Anson still finds his pet innocent but Amy threatens to leave if he doesn’t get rid of Beezel. Caring more about his relationship, Anson agrees to find a new home for him. That night, from a closet, Beezel tearfully watches the couple make love (whilst sodomizing himself with a hairbrush and dry humping a stuffed teddy bear). The next day when it comes time to take Beezel away, he is nowhere to be found. Amy goes outside to look. Beezel then runs her over with a truck and attempts to shoot her to death with a shotgun, but she chases him into the street and begins beating him with a shovel, which is witnessed by a group of children attending a birthday party at a neighboring house. When Anson approaches to see what is happening, Amy tries to explain Beezel’s motives. Beezel acts innocent and Anson sides with his cat. The children of the party then attack and murder Amy for beating up Beezel, stabbing her with plastic forks. Anson grabs Beezel, as Beezel again fantasizes about French kissing his owner.

movie43-01

Find Our Daughter

In this segment that was cut from the film, Maude (Julianne Moore) and George (Tony Shalhoub) are looking for their breast-flashing daughter Susie (Jordanna Taylor) with the help of the private eye (Bob Odenkirk), who is behind the camera with only one clue which is a small video that features their daughter. The scene was released on Blu-ray.

Necrophiliac

This segment cut from the film stars a necrophiliac who worked at a morgue and had sex with the dead female bodies. The scene was included on the Blu-Ray release.

This film gets a lot of negative reviews, and I can see why – it’s definitely a marmite type ‘love it or hate it’ film. I doubt there’s any room for a grey area. Slapstick, crude toilet humour delivered in a very clever fashion. This isn’t so much a film as it is a series of interlinked sketches with an all-star cast

 

 

REVIEW: MEET THE SPARTANS

CAST

Sean Maguire (Once Upon A Time)
Carmen Electra (Scary Movie)
Ken Davitian (Borat)
Kevin Sorbo (Julia X)
Diedrich Bader (American Housewife)
Travis Van Winkle (Transformers)
Phil Morris (Smallville)
Robin Atkin Downes (Babylon 5)
Martin Klebba (Project X)
Method Man (Jay and Silent Bob Reboot)
Jim Piddock (Mascots)
Ike Barinholtz (Suicide Squad)
Tiffany Haddish (Girls Trip)
Lauren Walsh (The 18 Year Old Virgin)

MTS-148The film opens with a Spartan elder inspecting three babies. The first, an ugly, talking baby ogre (Shrek the Third), is abandoned to die for its deformity; while the second, who is Vietnamese, is adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The third, Leonidas, is accepted as a Spartan for his already-present muscular physique and prepared for kinghood through brutal training. An adult Leonidas (Sean Maguire) is cast out into the wild, survives the harsh winter, and hunts down a gangsta penguin (Happy Feet). Returning a king for his inauguration wearing a penguin skin hat, Leonidas sees Margo (Carmen Electra) erotically dancing and asks her to marry him, to which she responds by giving him the combination to her chastity belt.

Years later, Leonidas is training his son when Captain (Kevin Sorbo) informs him that a Persian messenger has arrived. Accompanied by the Spartan politician Traitoro, the messenger presents Xerxes’ demands for Sparta’s submission. After growing angry with both the messenger’s disrespect and finding him making out with his wife, Leonidas kicks him into the “pit of death”. Despite Traitoro’s advice that the messenger’s guards are now needed to convey the actual message, Leonidas kicks them in as well, along with several other people he simply dislikes. Resolving to face the Persians, Leonidas visits the prophets and gives them medicines such as Neutrogena as their prize for their consultation. They advise him that he should consult the Oracle for any advice. The Oracle, Ugly Betty, reveals that Leonidas will die should he go to war.

After reaching a decision while spending the night with his wife, Leonidas meets the soldiers assembled for his departure to Thermopylae, and finds that only thirteen were accepted in the army due to stringent requirements. Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton (also played by Parker), who tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans. When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified due to her inability to use a spear correctly. Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes’ messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff. Xerxes (Ken Davitian), impressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino. Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a “Yo Momma” fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away.

Hilton decides to betray the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed. Xerxes meets the twelve remaining Spartans and the war begins. Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo has several confrontations with Traitoro, as he is the vital vote in sending more troops to assist her husband. Following her address to the Council, Traitoro publicly betrays the Queen. The Queen then battles Traitoro in a parody of Spider Man 3 and defeats him using a dust buster. With Traitoro’s deceit exposed, the council is united with the queen.

At the Battle of Thermopylae, the Persians introduce their secret weapons, Ghost Rider and Rocky Balboa, who kills Sonio with a decapitating uppercut. Captain avenges him with Botox poisoning before being struck down by Xerxes. Leonidas pursues Xerxes and plays Grand Theft Auto. Managing to find the “Transformer Cube”, Xerxes uses it in a car to become Xerxestron and shows off his powers to access the “Leave Britney Alone!” video on YouTube. However, Xerxestron accidentally trips on his extension cord and falls on Leonidas and the surviving Spartans, apparently killing them. The blind Dilio eventually returns to Sparta to tell of Leonidas’ final moments. A year later, Dilio leads a larger Spartan force to defeat the Persians, but the blind warrior ends up going the wrong way. They end up in Malibu, where they knock Lindsay Lohan down as she is leaving rehab again.

If you have seen the original version of the 300 you will follow the story better.if you liked date movie , scary movie , all them micky take films you know what to expect from this.

REVIEW: VAN HELSING (2004)

CAST

Hugh Jackman (The Wolverine)
Kate Beckinsale (Underworld)
Richard Roxburgh (Mission Impossible II)
David Wenham (Lord of The Rings)
Will Kemp (Reign)
Kevin J. O’ Connor (The Mummy)
Samuel west (Notting Hill)
Robbie Coltrane (Harry Potter)
Martin Klebba (The Cape)

In 1887 Transylvania, Doctor Victor Frankenstein creates a monster with the anticipated aid of Count Dracula, who reveals that he plans to use the creature for his own evil plans and kills the doctor as his castle is raided by a mob of villagers. His assistant Igor escapes, but the villagers chase the monster to an old windmill and set it ablaze. The villagers are scared off by Dracula and his brides, who witness the monster and the doctor’s research apparently destroyed by the fire.One year later, after killing the elusive Mr. Hyde at the Notre-Dame Cathedral in Paris, monster hunter Van Helsing returns to the Vatican in Rome. He learns his mission to destroy Dracula and his amnesia are penance for past, unremembered sins that cause nightmares. He is tasked with helping the last of an ancient Romanian bloodline, Velkan Valerious and his sister Anna, who must kill Dracula before their ancestors may enter Heaven. Carl, a friar provides Van Helsing with aid and weapons. Meanwhile, in Transylvania, Velkan is apparently killed during an attempt to trap and kill a werewolf, and Anna is attacked by Dracula’s brides shortly after Van Helsing’s arrival. He saves her life and kills Marishka, one of the brides, but as the last of her line Anna becomes more determined to kill Dracula. In order to protect her, Van Helsing knocks her out to prevent her from leaving. Later that night, she awakens and encounters Velkan, who reveals Dracula has a dark secret, but to her horror, he becomes a werewolf and attacks. After she and Van Helsing track him to Frankenstein’s castle, they discover that the vampires are attempting to give life to their born-dead children, using Velkan as the source of the power. Van Helsing, dubbed “Gabriel” by Dracula, realizes they had ties in the past. Van Helsing refuses Dracula’s offer to return his memory and escapes. The experiment fails however, and the vampire children die, but Velkan turns on Anna as he becomes completely consumed by his curse. The pair then escape together.Under the remains of the old windmill, Van Helsing and Anna encounter the monster. Because he is not evil, Van Helsing cannot allow it to be killed, even though he claims to be the key to the failed experiment. The werewolf witnesses this and escapes to inform Dracula. Meanwhile, Carl discovers a painting that comes to life, depicting a werewolf and a vampire battling. They travel by carriage to Budapest, successfully luring the remaining brides into a trap and killing Verona. Velkan ambushes the real carriage and bites Van Helsing before being shot and killed. Anna is captured and held as a bargaining chip to exchange her for the monster. They hide the monster in a crypt, but he is taken by the count’s undead underlings while Van Helsing and Carl rescue Anna from the count’s trap. Returning to the Valerious’ castle, Carl discovers an inscription, part of which Van Helsing received in Rome and creates a doorway to the castle. After failing to free the monster from his imprisonment, he lets them know of a cure to lycanthropy that Dracula possesses. Carl determines that the bite of a werewolf is the only way to kill Dracula. He and Anna take Igor to find the cure while Van Helsing goes to free the monster. Igor escapes while the final bride, Aleera, assaults Anna as Carl tries to deliver the cure to Van Helsing. After escaping, the monster saves Anna and urges her to help Carl and Van Helsing. She kills Aleera and arrives at the castle. Meanwhile, the werewolf Van Helsing and Dracula battle. Dracula tries to reason with the werewolf, but Van Helsing bites Dracula, who dissolves into a skeleton. Anna bursts in, causing her to be attacked and accidentally killed by Van Helsing, but not before she delivers the cure. Van Helsing returns to normal, stricken with grief over what he has done.At a pyre funeral, Van Helsing witnesses the spirits of Anna and her family ascending into the clouds while Frankenstein’s monster rows away on a raft out to sea. Van Helsing and Carl ride off into the sunset.An ok the story line isn’t going to tax anybody with just the single brain cell. But lets not forget its not there to be cerebrally challenging . Its pop corn for the brain and you know what it does it very well.

REVIEW: HANCOCK

 

 

CAST

Will Smith (I Am Legend)
Charlize Theron (The Huntsman)
Jason Bateman (The Ex)
Jae Head (Bravetown)
Eddie Marsan (Sherlock Holmes)
David Mattey (Citizin Toxie)
Thomas Lennon (17 Again)
Johnny Galecki (The Big Bang Theory)
Martin Klebba (Mirror Mirror)
Peter Berg (Going Overboard)
Mike Epps (The Hangover)
Daeg Faerch (Halloween)

MV5BMTUxOTE4NDYwMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTgwNDA0NzE5NzE@._V1_SY1000_SX1500_AL_John Hancock (Will Smith) is an alcoholic man with superhero powers, including flight, invulnerability, and super-strength. Though he uses his powers to stop criminals in his current residence of Los Angeles, his activity inadvertently causes millions of dollars in property damage due to his constant intoxication. As a result, he is routinely jeered at the crime scenes. Hancock also ignores court subpoenas from the city of Los Angeles to address the property damage he has caused.
17HRXLDNkqmzAZ3Jq3PV7rZUg3AWhen public relations spokesperson Ray Embrey (Jason Bateman) departs from an unsuccessful meeting pitching his All-Heart logo for corporations who are extraordinarily charitable, he becomes trapped on railroad tracks with an incoming freight train. Hancock saves Ray’s life, but he causes the train to derail and nearly injures another driver. Hancock is jeered by other drivers for causing more damage, but Ray steps in and publicly thanks Hancock for saving his life. Ray offers to improve Hancock’s public image, and Hancock grudgingly accepts. The spokesperson convinces the alcoholic superhero to permit himself to be jailed for outstanding subpoenas so they can show Los Angeles how much the city really needs Hancock. When the crime rate rises after Hancock’s incarceration, the superhero is contacted by the Chief of Police. With a new costume from Ray, Hancock intervenes with a bank robbery, rescuing a cop and stopping the leader of the robbers, Red Parker (Eddie Marsan).
MV5BOTQ0YTY3YWItNjc5NS00OTA4LWIxMzItZTBhYWRkYzMxZGQ3XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjczMDkzOTA@._V1_After the rescue, Hancock is applauded for handling the bank robbery. The superhero becomes popular once more, as Ray had predicted. He goes out to dinner with Ray and his wife Mary (Charlize Theron), with whom he reveals his apparent immortality and his amnesia from 80 years ago. After Hancock tucks a drunken Ray in bed, he discovers that Mary also has superpowers. He threatens to expose her until she explains their origins, and she tells him that they have lived for 3,000 years with their powers, having been called gods and angels in their time. She explains that they are the last of their kind and that their kind are paired. Mary does not tell Hancock the entire truth, and Hancock departs to tell Ray about the conversation. The exchange results in a battle between Hancock and Mary that takes them to downtown Los Angeles, causing significant damage to the area. Ray, downtown in a business meeting, sees and recognizes Mary using superhero powers like Hancock.
MV5BMTQ0NzE1NjM0MF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjQ2NzExNw@@._V1_SX1500_CR0,0,1500,999_AL_Hancock is later shot twice in the chest and wounded when he stops a liquor store robbery. After being hospitalized, Mary enters and explains that as the pair of immortals gets close, they begin to lose their powers. She also explains that Hancock was attacked in an alley 80 years prior, where he obtained amnesia. Mary deserted him then in order for him to recover from his injuries. When he is hospitalized, the hospital is raided by Red Parker, the bank robber, and two men that Hancock had humiliated during his incarceration. Mary, visiting Hancock, is shot in the process. Hancock is able to stop two men but is further wounded by them. When Red attempts to finish Hancock off, Ray comes to the rescue and kills the bank robber with a fire axe. With Mary nearly dying, Hancock flees from the hospital so their parting would allow her to heal with her powers. He later winds up in New York City, working as a superhero. Ray is seen walking with Mary discussing historical events such as the reign of Attila the Hun in a jovial manner. As gratitude to Ray, Hancock paints Ray’s All-Heart logo on the moon and calls the spokesperson to look up to the worldwide advertisement.
HANCOCKIn a mid-credits scene, Hancock, now living in New York City, confronts a fleeing criminal with the police. Cornered, the man takes a hostage and jeeringly demands Hancock escort him to safety. Hancock turns back and smiles as the credits resume.HANCOCKUnlike most other blockbusters, the best bits of Hancock don’t appear in the trailer. There’s plenty more action, comedy and some serious dramatic plot twists, all of which adds up to a great two hours entertainment. So if you like the look of the trailer — you’re in luck: there’s plenty more good stuff in the film itself.

 

 

 

 

 

REVIEW: MIRROR, MIRROR (2012)

 

CAST

Julia Roberts (Closer)
Lily Collins (The Blind Side)
Armie Hammer (The Social Network)
Martin Klebba (The Cape)
Jordan Prentice (In Burges)
Danny Woodburn (Watchmen)
Michael Lerner (Barton Fink)
Sean Bean (Game of Thrones)
Frank Welker (Transformers)
Nathan Lane (The Producers)
Kimberly-Sue Murray (V-Wars)
Robert Emms (Atlantis)

 

11268_5The First and Good Queen, Snow White’s mother died in child birth, and her father the King (Sean Bean) marries once again with an evil and powerful sorceress named Clementianna (Julia Roberts), the most beautiful woman in the land and raises Snow White. One day, the king leaves to fight a great evil that has invaded the land but never returns. Queen Clementianna rules in his absence and keeps Snow White in the palace.
MV5BMTUyMzg5NDYwNl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjIzMTU0Nw@@._V1_SX1777_CR0,0,1777,998_AL_Ten years later, Snow White (Lily Collins) having turned eighteen years old, desires to see her kingdom. Defying Queen Clementianna’s orders, she leaves the palace. Arriving at a forest, she meets Prince Andrew Alcott (Armie Hammer) who has been robbed by thieving dwarves. She and the Prince are drawn to each other, but go their separate ways. Snow White arrives in the town, and finds the once-happy town folk are destitute due to Queen Clementianna’s greed which she tells her baker friend Margaret (Mare Winningham).
MV5BMTM5NzkzMzkxMF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMDMzMTU0Nw@@._V1_SX1500_CR0,0,1500,999_AL_Meanwhile, Prince Alcott finds his way to the palace. Queen Clementianna realizes he comes from a wealthy kingdom and throws a ball to woo the Prince to solve her financial problems and to avoid a suggestion to marry the Baron (Michael Lerner). Snow White secretly attends the ball, planning to ask the prince to help her restore the kingdom. Queen Clementianna notices them dancing and orders her manservant Brighton (Nathan Lane) to take the princess into the forest and feed her to the Beast that lives there. Brighton takes Snow White to the forest, but he releases her and urges her to run. Snow White flees the Beast and collapses at the door to the Seven Dwarves’ house. She wakes up to find the dwarves Grimm (Danny Woodburn), Butcher (Martin Klebba), Wolf (Sebastian Saraceno), Napoleon (Jordan Prentice), Half Pint (Mark Povinelli), Grub (Joe Gnoffo), and Chuck (Ronald Lee Clark).MV5BMTYzMzc0OTM1NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzMzMTU0Nw@@._V1_SX1500_CR0,0,1500,999_AL_Queen Clementianna levies another tax among the starving people to pay for the parties she throws for Prince Alcott. Brighton collects the taxes, but, on the way back to the palace, the dwarves rob Brighton and steal the money. Snow White sneaks away to return the money. The townspeople and the Town Magistrate (Alex Ivanovici) are overjoyed to have their money back and Snow White lets the Dwarves take credit for it, earning them the people’s acceptance and gratitude. Meanwhile, Queen Clementianna informs Alcott that Snow White is dead. When the Prince finds out that the bandits have robbed Brighton, he goes after them, unaware of the awful things the Queen has done. In the forest, Alcott discovers that Snow White is alive and in league with the bandits. Each believing the other to be in the wrong, Snow White and Alcott duel. Alcott returns to the Palace defeated and informs the Queen that Snow White is alive.
MV5BODY3NzAwMzg5NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzQzMTU0Nw@@._V1_SX1500_CR0,0,1500,999_AL_Queen Clementianna goes to her Mirror House, within which lives her reflection, the Mirror Queen (Lisa Roberts Gillan). Displeased that Brighton had lied about Snow White’s death, Queen Clementianna has the Mirror Queen temporarily turn Brighton into a cockroach. The Queen requests a love potion so she can make the Prince fall in love with her. The Mirror Queen repeatedly warns Queen Clementianna that there is a price for using dark magic, but Queen Clementianna refuses to listen. The potion, however, turns out to be a ‘puppy love’ potion and the Prince becomes devoted to her like a puppy dog. Under this spell, the Prince agrees to marry Queen Clementianna. She then uses dark magic to create two giant wooden puppets in the forest and uses them to try and kill Snow White and the Dwarves. Snow White is able to cut the strings of the puppets and break the spell.
MV5BMTExNjY0ODM2NjVeQTJeQWpwZ15BbWU3MDMxMzE1NDc@._V1_SX1500_CR0,0,1500,999_AL_Snow White and the Dwarves crash the royal wedding and capture the Prince before Queen Clementianna and Brighton arrive. When Queen Clementianna arrives, the Baron tells her what happened and that if she can’t deal with Snow White, then the gentry will have the Queen deposed. Back in the forest, the still-cursed Prince wishes to return to the Queen. Snow White kisses Alcott and the spell is broken.  Snow White encounters Queen Clementianna who reveals that she can control the Beast (Frank Welker) that has been plaguing the forest and sends it after Snow White. Prince Alcott tries to save Snow White, and after the struggle, the Beast captures the princess. However, the Beast hesitates in killing her and Snow White sees that it wears a necklace with a moon charm on it similar to the one the Queen wears. She cuts the chain with her father’s dagger and the Beast suddenly becomes engulfed in light. Queen Clementianna begins to age, and the Mirror Queen says this is her consequence for using dark magic. The Beast turns out to be Snow White’s father, who has no memory of the last ten years.
MV5BMjI1Mjk4NzkyNV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDE0NDczNw@@._V1_SX1500_CR0,0,1500,999_AL_Grateful to Alcott for his assistance, the king agrees to let him marry Snow White as Brighton starts a relationship with Margaret. After Snow White accepts the Magistrate’s gift, a crone in a hooded robe appears and offers Snow White an apple as a wedding gift. At first, Snow White accepts the gift. As she is about to bite it, she realizes that the crone is Queen Clementianna. Snow White pulls out her knife and cuts a piece from the apple and gives it to Queen Clementianna, saying that that sometimes you must admit that you’ve been defeated. Accepting defeat, Queen Clementianna takes the apple piece as the Mirror House shatters upon the Mirror Queen declaring that it was Snow White’s story all along. The film’s epilogue reveals what happened to the Dwarves: Grimm becomes a teacher again and writes a book of fairy tales, Napoleon becomes a hairdresser, Wolf “returned to his pack,” Half-Pint finds a girlfriend, Butcher becomes a flyweight champion, Chuck joins the royal circus, and Grub continues to eat. Now they can live happily ever after just like any other fairytale. During the credits, the cast, led by Snow White, engage in a Bollywood-style musical number.MV5BMjI1Mjk4NzkyNV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNDE0NDczNw@@._V1_SX1500_CR0,0,1500,999_AL_It’s difficult not to point out the simplistic nature of this movie. The plot isn’t anything especially new, and is a little predictable sometimes as a fairytale would be, but I think the abundance of creatures and laughs makes it easier to look past this. I also loved Sean Bean had a cameo.  Definitely worth a watch.