REVIEW: THE RIDICULOUS 6

CAST

Adam Sandler (Jack & Jill)
Terry Crews (White Chicks)
Jorge Garcia (Lost)
Taylor Lautner (Twilight)
Rob Schneider (The Hot Chick)
Luke Wilson (That 70s Show)
Nick Nolte (Hulk)
Will Forte (MacGruber)
Nick Swardson (Grown Ups 2)
Steve Zahn (War For The Planet of The Apes)
Julia Jones (Jonah Hex)
Lavell Crawford (Breaking Bad)
Danny Trejo (machete)
Harvey Keitel (Little Nicky)
Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire)
David Spade (8 Simple Rules)
Whitney Cummings (Made of Honor)
Jon Lovitz (Rate race)
Saginaw Grant (Grey owl)
Norm Macdonald (Dr. Dolittle)
Chris Parnell (Paper Man)
Blake Shelton (Pitch Perfect 2)
John Turturro (Transformers)
Chris Kattan (Undercover Brother)

In the Old West era, a calm man named Tommy Stockburn (Sandler) is raised by Native Americans, where he is named “White Knife”, due to his expertise with knives. He is due to marry a Native girl named Smoking Fox (Jones). He has a run-in with a gang of bandits with eye patches on their right eyes, led by Will Patch (Forte), and manages to outsmart them and a deranged, Native American-racist food proprietor named Clem (Zahn), whose left eye is badly dysfunctional. At his Native village a bank robber named Frank Stockburn (Nolte) comes by, claiming to be Tommy’s biological father. Tommy explains to Frank that his mother was shot by a silhouetted man with tattoos on his hand when she was escorting him to school during his childhood, something that has haunted his dreams since. Frank also tells Tommy that he is dying of consumption, but that he has amassed $50,000 and buried it in a meadow next to a pine tree, which he offers to Tommy and the Natives. The next day, a group of bandits with connections to Frank come to the village, led by the ruthless Cicero (Trejo) who want Frank to give them his “big score” he gained a while back. Frank has the bandits kidnap him so he can lead them to the $50,000 at the so-called “Singing Windmill”, in return for the bandits not attacking Tommy or the Indians. With no time to search the meadow and find the money, Tommy decides he must find another way to obtain it and save his father.Tommy sets out on his quest to regain his father and decides that the best way to gain enough money is by stealing it. However, because his tribe does not condone theft and claims it is dishonorable, Tommy instead opts to steal from those who have no honor, leading him to target corrupt politicians, racist bankers, and thugs alike. During his quest, Tommy discovers that he has 5 half-brothers; Mexican burro rider Ramon (Schneider), whose innkeeper mother Frank had a fling with; mentally challenged yet happy-go-lucky Lil’ Pete (Lautner), who has a strong neck that makes him immune to hanging; feral mountain-man Herm (Garcia), who speaks incomprehensibly; guilt-ridden drunkard Danny (Wilson), who served as a bodyguard for Abraham Lincoln until accidentally leading John Wilkes Booth to murder him; and African-American saloon pianist Chico (Crews), who confesses to be only 50 percent white; all of which join Tommy. Meanwhile, Clem joins the eye patch gang in hopes of finding Tommy to take revenge on him after Clem removes his only functional eye (since the other eye patch wearers claim that removing the right eye is part of the gang’s way) before they kidnap Tommy’s fiancee, though she manages to escape them due to Clem’s poor eyesight and heads out to find Frank. When meeting Chico and Danny, they run with Chico’s boss: the aggressive, always smiling saloon owner Smiley Harris (Keitel), who was part of Frank’s gang until Frank stole his cut of their biggest score and left him to die at the windmill. He owns a large golden nugget the brothers steal after Ramon, while riding his burro, accidentally decapitates Smiley with a shovel from behind just as he is about to shoot the brothers as revenge against Frank for his betrayal, though Ramon was only trying to knock him out. While relaxing in a pond, Clem and the eye patch gang show up and while the brothers manage to overpower them, the gang manage to steal the money the brothers stole. Hope isn’t lost for the brothers, as Herm (through Tommy’s translation) tells them that a gambler named Ezekiel Grant (Lovitz) is hosting a gambling game with Mark Twain (Vanilla Ice) and General George Armstrong Custer (Spade) in Yuma. After successfully robbing the poker game, they head out to ransom their father. 1280x720-TUtAs dusk falls, Tommy realizes (through a photograph carried by Danny) that it was Cicero who murdered his mother. Not wanting to put his brothers in harm’s way, Tommy sets out alone in the cover of night to rescue his father and confront his mother’s killer. After paying the ransom, Cicero decides to part ways but Tommy insists on getting his revenge. Having successfully killed Cicero, the half-brothers (who followed Tommy) have a reunion with their long lost father. Realizing that Tommy’s group now have $100,000 after rescuing the Left-Eye Gang and getting their original $50,000, Frank double crosses them, revealing that he was in cahoots with Cicero for an easy $50,000. Tommy then reveals that their group also has a Plan B: a hidden bomb inside the bag containing the ransom money. When the bomb explodes and commotion ensues, Frank runs off with Smoking Fox (whom his group has been holding hostage) inside a mine. Tommy runs after them and successfully rescues his bride-to-be and captures his father. Also, in the process of the fighting, the Left-Eye Gang accidentally reveal that they lied about removing their right eyes, much to Clem’s outrage. Back in the Native Village, Tommy weds Smoking Fox with his brothers in attendance. Since the revelation that their biological father Frank Stockburn was no more than a two-bit crook, the Native chief decides to adopt the half-brothers as he did with Tommy.ililuiluiluiluilThis movie is just stupid fun. It isn’t trying to be the great American Western, and it doesn’t take itself seriously. The cameos are great, and the acting is superb. Just suspend disbelief, and enjoy the journey.

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REVIEW: MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND

CAST

Uma Thurman (Kill Bill)
Luke Wilson (Old School)
Anna Faris (Mom)
Rain Wilson (Super)
Eddie Izzard (Hannibal)
Stelio Savante (Ugly Betty)
Wanda Sykes (Clerks II)
Juliana Harkavy (Arrow)

After foiling a purse snatcher who tries to steal Jenny Johnson’s (Uma Thurman) purse on the subway, Matthew Saunders (Luke Wilson) becomes Jenny’s “hero” and starts dating this shy stranger. After several dates, Jenny displays increasingly neurotic and aggressive behavior, becoming more demanding and ultimately injuring Matt and destroying his bed the first time they have sex. Soon after, Jenny reveals to him that she is in fact the voluptuous blonde superheroine, G-Girl, who accidentally received powers such as flight, superhuman strength, speed, and senses, invulnerability, super breath, and heat vision after she was exposed to radiation from a crashed meteorite as a teenager. Jenny starts to become more controlling after she reveals her powers and Matt starts to lose his mind.annah Lewis (Anna Faris), Matt’s co-worker, has a crush on him despite the fact that she is going out with a handsome but shallow underwear model. As Matt and Hannah’s friendship develops further, and after becoming aggravated with Jenny’s escalating jealousy, Matt ends the relationship. An enraged Jenny vows to make Matt regret the decision, using her superpowers to publicly embarrass him, throwing his car into space and eventually causing him to lose his job as an architect when she strips him naked during an important meeting. Professor Bedlam (Eddie Izzard), Jenny’s former friend, and now G-Girl’s nemesis, contacts Matt in order to enlist his aid in defeating her. Matt refuses and makes plans to leave the city. As he does so he is contacted by Hannah who has broken up with her cheating boyfriend, and after confessing their feelings to one another, they end up in bedJenny (as G-Girl) discovers them in bed the next day. Enraged and jealous, she attacks the pair with a great white shark. Angered, Matt contacts Professor Bedlam and agrees to help him defeat her, as long as Bedlam retires from being a supervillain. He instructs Matt to lure Jenny to a meeting where she can be exposed to another meteorite that will draw away her powers, leaving her a mere mortal. Matt agrees and meets Jenny for a candlelit dinner at his apartment, under the pretense of wanting to resume their relationship. Hannah arrives to see Jenny sitting on Matt’s lap. The two women fight, and in the struggle Jenny’s superhero identity is revealed to Hannah. Bedlam’s trap is sprung, and the energy that gave Jenny her powers is drained back into the meteorite, incapacitating JennyProfessor Bedlam appears, but reveals that he has no intention of keeping his promise to retire from villainy and in fact plans to take the powers for himself. While he and Matt fight, Jenny crawls to the charged meteorite attempting to regain her powers. Hannah intervenes just as Jenny grabs the meteorite, which explodes in a burst of power. Both Hannah and Jenny are catapulted off the roof, apparently to their deaths; Jenny appears within seconds, powers restored, threatening even more mayhem. Only the unexpected reappearance of Hannah, who was also exposed to the meteorite’s energies, and now possesses the same powers as G-Girl, saves Matt. The second fight between Hannah and Jenny is a full-on super-brawl, destroying part of the neighboring properties. Finally, Matt reasons with them both and they cease fighting. He tells Jenny that Professor Bedlam is her true love. Jenny agrees and she embraces her former nemesis.
The next morning, Matt and Hannah meet up with Professor Bedlam (now just “Barry”) and Jenny. As cries for help are heard from afar, Jenny and Hannah, who have become partners in crime-fighting, take off to tackle the emergency. Matt and Barry are left holding their girlfriends’ purses and clothes, and leave to have a beer together.It’s a delightful premise, hell hath no fury like a super-heroine scorned, and those involved don’t altogether carry it off, but it has its moments.

 

 

REVIEW: LEGALLY BLONDE 2

CAST

Reese Witherspoon (Cruel Intentions)
Sally Field (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Bob Newhart (The Big Bang Theory)
Regina King (Ray)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls)
Bruce McGill (Collateral)
Dana Ivey (Two Weeks Notice)
Mary Lynn-Rajskub (24)
Jessica Cauffiel (White Chicks)
Alanna Ubach (Waiting…)
Stanley Anderson (Spider-Man)
Bruce Thomas (Army of Darkness)
Luke Wilson (Old School)
Jack McGee (The Fighter)
Octavia Spencer (Insurgent)
Tane McClure (Go)
Masi Oka (Heroes)

Elle Woods wants her Chihuahua, Bruiser, to reunite with his mother, because she would like Bruiser’s mom to attend Elle and Emmett’s wedding. Elle hires a detective to find Bruiser’s mother, only to discover that the owner of her dog’s mother is C’est Magnifique, a cosmetics company that uses Bruiser’s mother for “testing”. She finds out that her law firm represents the C’est Magnifique Corporation.Elle decides to leave Boston, where she and Bruiser have settled with her fiancé Emmett, and go to Washington, D.C., to work on Bruiser’s Bill. Elle is upset that her dog’s mother is in a make-up testing laboratory, and decides to take it upon herself to be the “voice for those who can’t speak” and to outlaw animal testing.While working for Congresswoman Victoria Rudd, Elle is met with skepticism and other barriers common to Washington politics. Rudd’s member of staff, Timothy, sarcastically calls her “Capitol Barbie”. After a variety of ups and downs including a failed attempt to improve her work environment by having her co-workers write compliments about one another and place them in the “snap cup”, Elle starts to lose her faith in Washington politics.As the story moves along, Elle discovers that Bruiser is actually gay, after she is paged by “The Paws that Refreshes: A Doggy Day Spa”. Bruiser has been affectionate with Leslie, a Rottweiller owned by Congressman Stan Marks, the Chairman of the Committee on Energy and Commerce which has jurisdiction over Bruiser’s Bill. Elle also finds that Congresswoman Libby Hauser, the Ranking Member of the same committee, was a member of Elle’s sorority Delta Nu. As a result, both Marks and Hauser warm to Elle and eventually come to support Bruiser’s Bill.Elle also discovers that Congresswoman Rudd has actually been working against her. Rudd has been doing so in an effort to satisfy the interests of a major campaign donor named “Bob” (who is never seen, but with whom Rudd has several telephone conversations). However, Rudd is eventually blackmailed into supporting Elle’s petition, because Rudd’s Chief of Staff, Grace Rossiter, eavesdrops on a recorded conversation during which Rudd admits to Elle that she has been working against Bruiser’s Bill in order to help Rudd’s sponsors who want to continue with tests on animals. As Grace is appalled that Rudd lied to Elle and blamed it on her, Grace and Elle eventually reach a place of mutual respect, especially after Grace admits she came to Washington D.C. with an enthusiasm not unlike Elle’s, but later lost that idealism when she discovered how dirty politics could really be.With the help of her friends, Elle’s discharge petition is successful, and Bruiser’s Bill is brought to the floor of the House. Bruiser’s mother and the rest of the dogs are released by C’est Magnifique Corporation. Elle and Emmett get married in a park in D.C., albeit not at Fenway Park as they had planned, but standing on the home plate which has been delivered to D.C. by the UPS Guy. In the final scene, Emmett asks Elle whether they want to live in Beverly Hills, Washington D.C., or Boston. As Elle has many legal and political job offers after the successful discharge hearing, she responds, “Oh, I think I know just the place,” and winks as they drive by the White House.Not as good as the original but still a good flick. Still some good laugh and well worth a watch.

 

REVIEW: LEGALLY BLONDE

CAST

Reese Witherspoon (Cruel Intentions)
Luke Wilson (Old School)
Selma Blair (Hellboy)
Matthew Davis (The Vampire Diaries)
Victor Garber (Legends of Tomorrow)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 Broke Girls)
Holland Taylor (two and a Half Men)
Ali Larter (Heroes)
Jessica Cauffiel (White Chicks)
Alanna Ubach (Waiting…)
Oz perkins (Secretary)
Linda Cardellini (Scooby-Doo)
Bruce Thomas (Army of Darkness)
Meredith Scott Lynn (Days of Our Lives)
Raquel Welch (One Million Years B.C.)
Tane McClure (Go)
Lacey Beeman (American Pie 2)
Brody Hutzler (Guiding Light)

Fashion merchandising student Elle Woods is taken to an expensive restaurant by her boyfriend, the governor’s son, Warner Huntington III. She expects Warner to propose, but he breaks up with her instead, reasoning that she is not serious enough for his political aspirations. Her sorority sisters encourage her to pursue him. After much effort, Elle scores a 179 on the Law School Admission Test. This score, combined with her 4.0 GPA, gain her admission to Harvard, where Warner has enrolled.Upon arriving at Harvard, Elle’s SoCal personality is in complete contrast to her East Coast classmates’ personalities, who refuse to take her seriously. She soon encounters Warner, but discovers he is engaged to another classmate, Vivian Kensington. Elle struggles to keep up with the reading and is unprepared for a lecture, which causes strict Professor Stromwell to berate her and force her out of the class. Elle meets Emmett, who gives her advice for handling each of her professors. Vivian invites Elle to a “costume party” and Elle arrives in a Playboy bunny suit, but the party is not actually a costume party. Elle tells Warner that she intends to apply for Professor Callahan’s prestigious internship, but Warner tells her that she is wasting her time. Elle realizes that Warner will never take her back and finds motivation to prove herself.After several months of dramatic improvement, Elle, along with Warner and Vivian, is given a surprise internship at Callahan’s law office. Callahan is defending a prominent fitness instructor named Brooke Windham, who is one of Elle’s role models. Accused of murdering her husband, Brooke is unwilling to produce an alibi (she later reveals to Elle that she was having liposuction). Enrique Salvatore, a pool cleaner and the prosecution’s main witness, says that he was having an affair with Brooke and that they were planning to run off with her husband’s money. Elle deduces that Enrique is gay, and Emmett (revealed to be Callahan’s junior partner) believes her and during cross-examination tricks Enrique into confessing his homosexuality. In spite of her victory, Elle quits the firm after Callahan attempts to seduce her. When Emmett explains how Callahan’s behavior caused Elle to quit her internship, Brooke fires Callahan and replaces him with Elle as her defense. Elle cross-examines Brooke’s step-daughter Chutney, forcing her to reveal that she had killed Brooke’s husband, though she had actually planned to kill Brooke because she hated that her father married someone her age.Chutney is taken into custody and Warner unsuccessfully attempts to convince Elle to take him back. Two years later, Elle gives the graduation speech at Harvard. Vivian is now her best friend, while Emmett has started his own firm. He and Elle have been dating since the trial and he plans to propose to her later that night.Yes, it is predictable and unbelievable but it does not pretend to be anything but an enjoyable hour and a half romp

REVIEW: STUCK ON YOU

 

CAST

Matt Damon (Jason Bourne)
Greg Kinnear (Movie 43)
Eva Mendes (2 Fast 2 Furious)
Cher (Mask)
Wen Yann Shih (Timecop 2)
Pat Crawford Brown (Tom)
Seymour Cassel (Dick Tracy)
Dane Cook (Good Luck Chuck)
Lin Shaye (Ouija)
Bella Thorne (Amityville: The Awakening)
Tracy Ashton (My Name Is Earl)
Griffin Dunne (After Hours)
Frankie Muniz (Agent Cody Banks)
Meryl Streep (Into The Woods)
Luke Wilson (That 70s Show)
Jesse Ventura (The Running Man)
Jessica Cauffiel (Legally Blonde)
Doug Jones (Hellboy)
Kiele Sanchez (Lost)
Rhona Mitra (Nip/Tuck)

Conjoined twins Bob and Walt Tenor try to live as normally as possible. Outgoing and sociable Walt aspires to be a Hollywood actor, however, whereas shy, introverted Bob prefers the quiet life. They run Quikee Burger, a diner in Oak Bluffs on Martha’s Vineyard, that guarantees free meals to customers whose orders are not completed in three minutes, a testament to how skilled and in sync Bob and Walt are with each other. Though Walt is comfortable socializing with women, Bob is the shyer of the two, and carries on a long-distance relationship with a pen pal named May Fong whom he has never met in person, and who is unaware that they are conjoined twins.Walt gets a role in a local play. Bob stays as much as possible in the background, as he has a tendency to get stage fright. Following the play’s success, Walt decides to follow his dream to Hollywood and persuades his hesitant brother to go along for the ride. They rent an apartment in California and become friends with fellow aspiring actress April Mercedes. When she expresses curiosity about their conjoinment, Walt explains that they share a liver that is mostly Bob’s, and that because surgical separation entails a higher risk to Walt, Bob would not consent to the surgery, even though Walt favored it. It is also the reason why Walt appears somewhat older than Bob. (Greg Kinnear is seven years older than Matt Damon in real life.)Walt’s efforts to find acting work in Hollywood are fraught with difficulty, and his agent, Morty O’Reilly, is little help, offering at one point to get him a job in a pornographic film. Cher is upset that she has ended up starring in a prime-time TV show called Honey and the Beaze. She wants out of the deal, so she decides to hire Walt as her co-star (since her contract states she can choose anyone she wants), certain the show will get cancelled. The producers, realizing Cher’s scheme, foil it by going forward with the production, compensating for Bob’s presence by keeping him out of the camera frame and employing bluescreen effects. The show is a surprise hit and Walt becomes famous.Walt arranges for May Fong to come to California. Although he did this without Bob’s consent, Bob and May Fong develop a romantic relationship, though the twins’ attempt to keep their conjoined nature a secret proves challenging, especially since Walt must accompany the new couple everywhere, sometimes using creative solutions like disguising himself as a giant teddy bear. Eventually however, when May discovers the twins in bed, she concludes that they are a homosexual couple rather than brothers. Although Bob shows May that they are indeed conjoined twins, May is nonetheless in even greater shock at the deception, and flees.Morty informs the twins that word has leaked about Walt and Bob being conjoined. Rather than hide this, the twins decide to embrace it, and they both become huge celebrities, making commercials and appearing on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. While Walt enjoys this success, he knows that Bob is unhappy because he misses May. Resolving that Bob needs to be independent from him in order to be happy, Walt demands they be surgically separated. When Bob refuses, Walt, determined to convince him, begins acting wild and crazy until Bob can no longer take it. Walt starts to make a fool of himself by getting drunk and accidentally snatching a woman’s purse. They eventually end up spending the night in jail for drunk driving; even though Walt was drinking, Bob is the one who suffers the hangover since their shared liver is mostly his. When they are released the following morning, they get into a fight and Bob decides to go with the operation.On the night before the surgery, May shows up and apologizes to Bob for running out the way she did. Bob informs her that they’re getting separated; although she does not want them to, he knows that it’s best for them. At the hospital, May and April keep a vigil until learning from Ben Carson, a real-life neurosurgeon playing a cameo role, that the surgery was successful.[1] Bob and May, both being small-town people, decide to move back to Oak Bluffs, but Bob finds the separation from Walt difficult, both practically and emotionally, and is unable to do the things by himself that the twins used to do together, such as maintain Quikee Burger’s three-minute challenge or play hockey. Walt, for his part, loses his job when Honey and the Beaze is canceled due to low ratings, and finds it difficult to find subsequent work. He is also emotionally devastated by Bob’s absence. After having a brief talk with Cher about what’s best for him, he decides to move back to Oak Bluffs.One year later, Walt and Bob are back in Oak Bluffs running the restaurant together, Bob and May have married and May is pregnant. The twins simulate their former conjoinment with Velcro clothing that attaches them to one another. Walt finds creative fulfillment continuing in local plays, including a musical in which he and Meryl Streep play Bonnie and Clyde.It is amazing how Farrelly brothers and their capable filmmaking friends and collaborators realized this genuinely caring human drama-comedy. It’s guaranteed enjoyable movie experience for everyone

REVIEW: AROUND THE WORLD IN 80 DAYS

CAST

Jackie Chan (Rush Hour)
Owen Wilson (Wedding Crashers)
Steve Coogan (The Other Guys)
Jim Broadbent (The Legend of Tarzan)
Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator)
Luke Wilson (Charlies Angels)
John CLeese (Rat Race)
Cécile de France (The Jungle Book)
David Ryall (Outnumbered)
Roger Hammond (Rome)
Ian McNeice (Dune)
Kathy Bates (Misery)
Rob Scneider (Big Daddy)
Ewen Bremner (Trainspotting)
Adam Godley (Powers)
Will Forte (MacGruber)
Maggie Q (Divergent)
Mark Addy (Game of Thrones)

In the late 19th century, a Chinese man, Lau Xing, robs the Bank of England. To evade the police, Xing becomes the valet for Phileas Fogg, an inventor, taking the pseudonym Passepartout. Phileas, just before Xing arrived, had been trying to break the 50-mph speed barrier, and after succeeding with the help of Passepartout, they head to the Royal Academy of Science. There, Fogg is insulted by the other “brilliant minds”, in particular Lord Kelvin, who believes that everything worth discovering has already been discovered. After a debate between the scientists about the bank thief, Phileas is pressured into a bet to see whether he can travel around the world in 80 days. If he wins, he will become Minister of Science in Lord Kelvin’s place, if not, he will destroy his lab and never invent anything again. Phileas and Xing start their journey around the world, taking a carriage and leaving London after a confrontation with Inspector Fix, a corrupt officer hired by Lord Kelvin to stop them.

Xing and Phileas journey to Paris. Pretending to take Phileas to a convention with Thomas Edison, Xing leads him to an art school where Phileas meets Monique La Roche, a would-be impressionist. There, Xing is attacked by disguised warriors, the Black Scorpions, sent by General Fang, a female Chinese warlord who is after the Jade Buddha that he stole. Fang had previously given it to Kelvin in exchange for military assistance in China. When Monique learns of Phileas’s ambition, she convinces them to take her with them. They depart in a hot-air balloon, chased by Fang’s warriors.

Whilst on the Orient Express, Monique learns that Xing is trying to return the Jade Buddha back to his village, and is travelling with Phileas to get there quickly. Monique keeps his secret in exchange for him convincing Phileas to let her travel with him. They travel to Turkey, where the train stops. Guards climb onboard and inform the trio that they are greeted by Prince Hapi. During the Prince’s banquet, he orders Monique to stay as his seventh wife while the men are ordered to leave. The men blackmail Prince Hapi into releasing Monique using a prized but apparently flimsy “The Thinker” statue of the Prince. The statue is destroyed, much to Hapi’s anger, but the trio escape from the guards. Lord Kelvin, learning that Phileas has been abetting a thief’s escape, orders the British colonial authorities in India to arrest both. Xing notices this and warns his companions, disguising themselves as Indian women to evade capture and successfully flee to China.

Xing leads his friends to his village, Lanzhou, where they are happily greeted. His real identity is revealed and they are held captive by the Black Scorpions. Xing challenges the leader of the group to a fight, during which he is joined by the martial arts masters of the “Ten Tigers of Canton”, of which Xing is a member. The Tigers drive the Black Scorpions from the village and free the Westerners. The Buddha is returned to the village temple. Phileas, feeling used by Xing and Monique, leaves for San Francisco alone, only to be proven wrong when the latter decide to help him win his bet. In New York City, Fang’s disguised minions trick the trio to an ambush site. Fang reveals the nature of their arrangements with Lord Kelvin to take Lanzhou and tap the jade reserves underneath it. A battle against Fang and her minions commences in the workshop where the Statue of Liberty is being constructed, resulting in Phileas missing a boat to help Xing, Fang being knocked out by Monique with a punch (revealing Monique to be the fabled 11th Tiger) and Fang’s minions being either killed or knocked out. Phileas feels he has lost, but the other two say they may still make it if they catch the next ship.

They board an old ship and Phileas convinces the captain to let him build a plane out of the ship’s old wood in exchange for a new ship. Using an altered version of the Wright brothers’ plans, Phileas builds the plane while the ship’s crew builds a catapult to launch it into the sky. They reach London, where the machine falls apart and they crash in front of the Royal Academy. Lord Kelvin sends police to arrest them for robbing the bank, in order to stop them from making it to the top step of the Academy, and proclaims himself the victor when Big Ben strikes noon, seemingly ending the wager. Monique, Fix and other ministers attest to Kelvin’s unfair methods and his bullying nature, but Kelvin scoffs at them. In the process he insults Queen Victoria, who arrives on the scene. She learned that he had sold her arsenal to Fang in exchange for jade mines in China thanks to one of his aides. Kelvin is arrested and sent to prison, and Phileas realizes he is one day early thanks to crossing the international date line. He victoriously ascends the stairs of the Academy and kisses Monique.

The end result is a beautiful film that is suitable for all ages and provides that wonderful feel-good sensation that only the greatest adventures can provide.

REVIEW: VACANCY

CAST

Kate Beckinsale (Underworld)
Luke Wilson (Anhorman)
Frank Whaley (Ironweed)
Ethan Embry (Freakylinks)
Scott Anderson (Titanic)

On their way home from a family party, David (Luke Wilson) and Amy Fox (Kate Beckinsale), who are on the verge of divorce after a family tragedy drove them apart, take a wrong turn on a remote mountain road. When their car breaks down, they discover there is no cell phone reception and start walking back to a motel across the street from an auto repair garage where they had stopped because the car was making noises. Oddly, when they arrive, there are no cars in the parking lot. At the Office, they hear piercing screams coming from the back room. The motel manager, Mason (Frank Whaley), appears and explains that the noises are coming from the television. They book a room for the night.

In their room, the couple hear loud and insistent banging on their door and on the door to the adjacent room. They also receive anonymous phone calls, despite being told by Mason they are the only people staying there. David notifies Mason of the situation, and he says he’ll take care of it. Back in the room, a bored David takes a peek at the video tapes left on top of the television. At first, they appear to be horror movies; but, after careful observation, he realizes they are snuff films that were made in that very room. David searches the room, finding hidden cameras, and concludes they are being watched by Mason from the office.

In the bathroom, the couple is amazed to find the apple Amy left in the car. They flee the room and head for the woods, but two men dressed in blue and wearing masks stop them, so they return to the room and lock the door. David runs to the motel’s payphone and dials 9-1-1, but Mason answers. David escapes the phone booth just before the men crash their car into it and chase him back to his room.

Back in the room, David and Amy hear a truck pull into the parking lot. From the window, they attract the driver’s (Mark Casella) attention, but Mason and the men in masks appear behind him; and the couple realize he is a part of it and is there to buy the snuff films. David and Amy discover a tunnel from a trapdoor in the bathroom, which the men must have used to leave the apple. They follow it to the manager’s office, where they find video monitors taping the entire motel. Amy calls the police, but she’s interrupted by Mason before she can give the Dispatcher any useful information, leaving the phone off the hook.

Followed by two of the masked men, the couple sneak back into the tunnel and take a different route underground, ending up in the auto garage across the lot from the motel. They hold the trapdoor down with heavy items. Meanwhile, a Sheriff’s Deputy (David Doty) responding to Amy’s call arrives. Mason offers to show the officer around, but he leaves to fetch a different set of keys while the officer continues to search. He finds tapes in one of the rooms and, realizing the nature of the hotel, flees. David and Amy run to him, and they all get inside the police car. They find the engine wire has been cut; and, when the officer gets out to check under the hood, he is killed by the masked men and the couple flee into one of the other motel rooms.

David hides Amy inside the ceiling, and attempts to venture out alone to get a revolver gun that was in Mason’s office, but the killers surprise and stab David before he can leave, and he ends up collapsing in the doorway, seen by Amy who breaks down in tears. In the morning, Amy comes down and finds the killers’ car. As she drives away, a killer breaks into the car from the sun roof and, in her effort to fend him off while driving, crashes the car into the motel, killing her attacker as well as another one of the masked men, revealed to be the gas station attendant (Ethan Embry) who “helped” the couple earlier with their car troubles, as he is crushed against the front of the car. Amy runs into the reception area where she finds the revolver. In an effort to reach the revolver, an apoplectic Mason strangles her with a telephone cord that he took out of the phone in his office. As they fight, Mason beats her severely. But in his effort to get a good final shot with his hand-held digital video camera, Amy fights back, and Mason ends up throwing her within reach of the revolver she had dropped, and she shoots him three times, fatally wounding. Amy immediately runs to David to find that he is still alive, but seriously in need of help. She searches Mason’s body carefully for the telephone cord he had used to strangle her, calls 911 again and returns to comfort David while they wait for the police.This film was one i was unsure of, even though i fancied it when i first saw the trailer, due to the fairly average star rating and some very negative viewer comments. It is actually a very well crafted, edge of the seat, thriller in a Hitchcockian style. It has more scares and jumps than the usual serial killer type flick and does away with the usual generous helping of gore of this genre while still capturing the terror and fear you would feel if in a similar situation. The characters behave very naturally and appear human rather than heroic.
I can only assume the lack of copious amounts of corn syrup and female nudity means this was somewhat of a disappointment to those expecting a gore fest however if you want to be genuinely scared by a top notch thriller this is the one for you. I highly recommend this film