HALLOWEEN OF HORROR REVIEW: SWAMP SHARK

Starring

Kristy Swanson (Buffy: The Vampire Slayer)
D. B. Sweeney (Sharp Objects)
Robert Davi (The Goonies)
Richard Tanne (2001 Maniacs)
Jeff Chase (The Mechanic)
Jason Rogel (This Is Us)
Lo Graham (This is The End)

Charles Harrelson in Swamp Shark (2011)When a series of attacks in their waters lead them to believe a shark is responsible and the authorities doubting the claims, a family of restaurateurs heads into the Louisiana swamps to kill it before it attacks more people.Swamp Shark (2011)Overall this one was a pretty decent creature feature and gets some good points to it. One of the better points here is the film taking full advantage of the situation to make for some really tense moments, as there’s a couple rather fun stalking scenes in the swamps. The Louisiana bayou setting is appropriately handled with the swampy marshlands and waterways bringing about some really high-end sequences from the first encounter in the open waterways or it taking out the penned crocodiles before the drunk fisherman. There’s also a couple other great scenes here taking great advantage of the setting with the attack on the partying students on the row-boat or the hunting party where the family sets out to hunt the creature out in open waters in speedboats making for some really impressive scenes.alg-swamp-shark-jpgThese here set the stage for the film’s two big action scenes on the attack on the partying houseboat and the rescue attempt later on as she tries to save her daughter as both scenes offer up some bloody deaths, tons of fun with the action to keep the creature at bay as well as the suspense of the creature appearing which are highly enjoyable. As well, the finale is a lot of fun as it’s the main attack on the festival where it leads from an exciting chase to start off that there’s some fun there, the attacks are quite bloody and action-packed while the final resolution of killing the creature makes for a good time. Lastly, unlike how most of these usually are, the shark actually looks really good and has some scenes where it’s a full-live shark, prop and not CGI, although the CGI here does look better than expected but can’t compare to how good the shark-prop looks.swamp_shark_600These here are enough to make-up for it’s one weak area is that there’s not a lot of actual shark attacks going on, and while it’s not noticeable to the plot or pacing, it does lower the gore quotient somewhat since there’s not a whole lot of attacks in here. It doesn’t have that many attack scenes to really ramp up that factor regardless of graphic the few ones are, but this isn’t enough to truly deter this one fully.

REVIEW: DUDE. WHERE’S MY CAR ?

CAST

Ashton Kutcher (Two and A Half Men)
Seann William Scott (American Pie)
Jennifer Garner (Alais)
Marla Sokoloff (Sugar & Spice)
Kristy Swanson (Big Daddy)
David Herman (Futurama)
Hal Sparks (Spider-Man 2)
Charlie O’Connell (The New Guy)
Mary Lynn Rajskub (2 Broke Girls)
Justin Nimmo (Power Rangers In Space)
Nichole Hiltz (Bones)
Keone Young (Men In Black 3)
Cleo King (Mike & Molly)
Andy Dick (Zoolander 2)
Brent Spiner (Star Trek: TNG)

Bob Clendenin (Birds of Prey)

Jesse and Chester awaken with hangovers and no memory of the previous night. The television is on, showing an Animal Planet program about how animals use twigs and rocks as tools to get food. Their refrigerator is filled with containers of chocolate pudding, and the answering machine contains an angry message from their twin girlfriends Wilma and Wanda as to their whereabouts. They emerge from their home to find Jesse’s car missing, and with it their girlfriends’ one-year anniversary presents. This prompts Jesse to ask the film’s titular question: “Dude, where’s my car?”

Because the girls have promised them a “special treat”, which Jesse and Chester take to mean sex, the men are desperate to retrieve their car. The duo begins retracing their steps in an attempt to discover where they left the car. Along the way, they encounter a transgender stripper, a belligerent speaker box operator at a Chinese restaurants drive-through, discover two appropriately-worded tattoos on each other’s backs, run into UFO cultists led by Zoltan, a Cantonese-speaking Chinese tailor, the Zen-minded Nelson and his cannabis-loving dog, the aggressive jock Tommy and his friends, a couple of hard-nosed police detectives, and a reclusive French ostrich farmer. They also meet two groups of aliens, one group being five gorgeous women, the other being two Norwegian men, searching for the “Continuum Transfunctioner”; a mysterious and powerful device, capable of destroying the universe, that the boys accidentally picked up last night.

In an arcade, they discover that the Continuum Transfunctioner was a Rubik’s Cube that Chester has been working hard to solve, and eventually does (thus activating it). They are warned that once the five lights stop flashing, the universe will be destroyed. Jesse and Chester must determine which of two sets of aliens is entitled to the device. One of the groups is there to protect the universe, the other is there to destroy it. Both claim to be the protectors of the universe, stating that they were with Jesse and Chester the previous night (which Jesse and Chester still cannot remember) and ask for the Transfunctioner. The two correctly choose the men, because when the men were asked what they did the night before, they correctly respond that they got a hole in one at the 18th hole at a miniature golf park, and won a life time supply of pudding. At the last second, they deactivate the Transfunctioner, saving the universe.

Balked, the five alien women merge to become a giantess (Jodi Ann Paterson) who swallows Tommy alive. The giantess then crawls out of the amusement centre and chases Jesse and Chester. The cultists tell them to activate the Photon Accelerator Annihilation Beam on the Transfunctioner. However, the button that activates it is too far in to reach. At the last second, Chester remembers the nature show with the tool-using chimps and uses a straw to push the recessed button, thus destroying the alien. The protectors erase everyone’s minds concerning the events and time is reversed to the beginning of the film. The duo recover the car, a Renault Le Car, which turned out to be behind a Mail Truck the whole time, and salvage their relationships and discover the special treat from the girls turns out to be matching knitted caps and scarves. The protectors leave a gift for their girlfriends (and, for the two men): Breast Enhancement Necklaces.

The movie is hilarious all the way through, there aren’t any scenes that won’t cause the watcher to stop laughing. If anyone wants to watch a real comedy movie, which does it’s job of providing comedic entertainment, then “Dude, where’s my car?” is the movie to watch.