CHRISTMAS 2017 REVIEW: JURASSIC PIRANHA

CAST

Colin Galyean (Quantum Apocalypse)
Ramona Mallory (The Lost Girls)
Josh Hammond (Jeepers Creepers II)
John Wells (Overtime)
Frederic Doss (Transformers)
Kevin Sorbo (Andromeda)

thelegobatman_trailer4Great white sharks bio-engineered to be the size of piranhas with the purpose of living in rich people’s exotic aquariums terrorize New York City when they get into the water supply and do what great white sharks do best. the_lego_batman_movie_4k-wideGot this cheap and knew it was going to be one of those SyFy films with cheap nasty effects & loads of clichés & bad script etc. I wasn’t surprised as it had cheap CGI effects, over used clichés & a very short run time of 73 minutes. But weirdly enough I liked it. Somehow the story-line was a bit far fetched, I mean come on, they were going to nuke the entire city over Piranhas? And what’s more we saw no other attacks aside from the people involved in the film? And alcohol killing them a weakness? It was all very stupid indeed & the film did feel rushed.AZS2_d-1024x684But Still it was a ok film with alot of flaws but somehow was still fun. It’s fantasy mixed with horror Overall, this film was bearable & watchable for a quick flick!81T-0YZ9mJL__SL1500_

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CHRISTMAS 2017 REVIEW: HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS – A STAR TO GUIDE THEM

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A STAR TO GUIDE THEM
MAIN CAST
Kevin Sorbo (Andromeda)
Michael Hurst (Bitch Slap)
GUEST CAST
Brent Barrett (All My Children)
Jon Brazier (The Piano)
Latham Gaines (Power Rangers Dino Thunder)
Edward Newborn (The Water Horse)
Denise O’Connell (SShark In The Park)
Kirstie O’Sullivan (Mercy Peak)
On the night before the Winter Solstice, Iolaus has a dream involving some strange imagery: a star, a rock, a tree and a strange pointy object. When he wakes, he tells Hercules that he is going north, Hercules comments on his hands being red. Elsewhere, King Polonius tells his queen Maliphone that the Oracle told him a child “not of the House of Polonius” would succeed him. The queen orders all boys under the age of one to be rounded up. Hercules tells Iolaus he will go north with him and asks Iolaus to explain what is going on. Iolaus says he does not understand it himself. He asks him about the dream and Iolaus says he has never felt so good. Hercules warns him that the gods act in strange ways. Iolaus says he just has to go north. Meanwhile, Trinculos tries to steal some money from another thief, whom he lets go. On the way north, Hercules asks Iolaus how far they have to go, Iolaus responds that when he knows he will tell Hercules. Elsewhere in a nearby village, all the baby boys are being taken by Polonius’ guards. While Hercules rests on a rock, Iolaus says the place feels familiar, even though he has never been there before. He then recognizes the rock as the one from his dream, which spurs him on north.
Elsewhere, Uris is taking his wife Loralei and newborn son away from their village so they will be safe. He tells his wife he has to because of a dream he had. While Hercules and Iolaus stop for a rest and some food, Trinculos comes by and Hercules asks him to join them. Trinculos decides to join them up north and Hercules notices he also has red palms. As the guards attack the village, Uris tells his wife to go to his brother’s house. As they fight, Hercules and the other men join in and begin beating up the guards. Trinculos had been protecting Loralei and the baby. They tell Hercules about Polonius’ order to take all the babies under one year old for census, but they do not believe it. Hercules asks where they are headed and Uris tells says they are going north. Hercules asks to see his hands, which are also red. Hercules remarks on the three men all having the same dream, he tells Iolaus that although his dream is important, the lives of babies are at stake. Iolaus and Trinculos head on to the castle and he takes Uris and his family to safety. The captain of the guards tells the queen about the one child who got away. She says Hera will help them against Hercules. Uris leaves his family in the safety of his brother’s house and Hercules promises to bring him back safely. While Uris and Hercules talk about the dream he mentions the gnarled tree, which looked like it was pointing the way. Hercules and Uris meet up with Iolaus and Trinculos in a tavern.
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They decide to travel through the mountains. When they set off, they see the gnarled tree from their dreams. The group comes to a village, whose babies have not been taken and Hercules leads them to safety. At the castle, Maliphone calls on Hera for help and she is provided with some red warriors. While the group of men travels on, Trinculos begins complaining as he draws something in the sand. Iolaus and Uris help him finish the image. It is the strange pointy object from their dream. Trinculos admits he too had the dream and then goes away from the others. The king and queen are worried about which baby will be the new king. Maliphone orders all the babies to be killed. When the men arrive in a deserted village, Hercules warns them it may not be. Hercules then catches an arrow as it flies towards them. The archer is then knocked unconscious by Trinculos (who by the way has decided to come back). The guards find Loralei and question her about Hercules. Hercules and the others meet up with Hera’s red army and a fight breaks out. Hercules disposes of the red army; Trinculos saves Uris’ life and he returns the favor. With the threat out of the way, all the families are reunited. When Maliphone claims the heir to Bethos is in in her womb, Hercules reminds her that the people can elect their own king without a living heir. Hercules wishes Maliphone a happy exile as she is taken away. The men are glad they have accomplished what they had set out to do, Hercules says maybe it is not the end. The others follow him to the window, where he points out a star. Iolaus says he saw the star in his dream. Hercules suggests he should follow the star. The four men arrive at a house, which appears to be glowing from inside. The men agree that this is what the dream was all about, a sense of calm and peace. Hercules tells Iolaus he feels that “what you are about to witness is bigger and more important than anything we’ve ever done.” Hercules stands by as the three men go inside the house.
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Although it seems strange to see a Christmas episode done for Hercules it actually works because they call it Solciste instead of Christmas. It’s a loose retelling of the 3 wise Men, and it makes for an interesting story for the show.

REVIEW: PRAIRIE FEVER

CAST

Kevin Sorbo (Hercules: TLJ)
Lance Henriksen (Aliens)
Dominique Swain (Lolita)
Jamie Anne Allman (The Notebook)
Jillian Armenante (Bad Teacher)
Felicia Day (The Guild)
Lucy Lee Flippin (Little Black Book)
Silas Weir Mitchell (My Name Is Earl)
Don Swayze (Lois & Clark)

2vvoqk8The heart of the story belongs to the three mail order brides out of seventeen, who for some unknown reason have “Prairie Fever” and so they are transported out of town by a reluctant sheriff Preston Biggs (played by Kevin Sorbo) who had a debt to settle with the owner of the “Pure Luk Casino”. It seemed an easy enough task to do and he reluctantly agrees to do it. These three fine actors, “Dominique Swain” (Abigail), “Jillian Armenante” (Lettie) and “Felicia Day” (Blue) deserves credit for their performances!! They did a terrific job at playing the part of women who were as crazy as they were difficult to understand and for one man to be in the company of these three very strange women, you could imagine how difficult the task was going to be on that long, slow journey, until help unexpectedly arrives making the adventure more intriguing.9788_3_screenshotOlivia Thibodeaux (Jamie Anne Allman) appeared on the scene once again and you can tell that she was not a welcome member to the party of travelers since sheriff Biggs was not in the mood to be charitable and he was even less inclined to add more to his already burdened load since he recognized Olivia from an earlier encounter, but with three unstable women in tow, he had no choice but to include her in his journey. Needless to say sheriff Preston Biggs now finds himself in the company of four women instead of three and things begin to get interesting as the story unfolds as we learn about the fate of these women and why Olivia was found wondering alone at the side of the road. As we get to know these women, things get complicated for sheriff Biggs who not only finds himself in close proximity of a beautiful woman but thinks she is a callous card sharp, but is unprepared to find her comfortably at ease with the women no one cares about, and as Olivia begins to care for them she is also concerned about their fate as well as her own and tries to convince Preston not to abandon these women.9788_5_screenshotWhat made this movie so terrific is the conflict between all the characters and how each one of them becomes more important and how sheriff Biggs’ simple plans appear to be heading the wrong direction and though the women resign themselves to their fate, sheriff Biggs becomes more uncertain about his own future thanks to a beautiful distraction named Olivia. This story isn’t about crazy women and a drunken sheriff, this story is about finding despair and bringing it to life, feeling shamed and unworthy and finding pride. We have a story with a tragic past with promises of a better and hopeful future making this simple adventure even more warm hearted than when it first began. Four strangers traveling alone together lost in the battle of demons, but as those demons fade, the story takes an unexpected delightful turn.untitledAs charming and heart warming as this story is, what would a western be without its usual villains, and actor Don Swayze did a fabulous job as gun fighter James, who was every bit as mean and troublesome as you would imagine!!! So the clashes he has with Preston in two scenes were tense, dramatic, and both men were poised to get into a nasty fight. Lance Henriksen as the cold hearted husband played a character typical of that time, mean and arrogant, but in this case, Monte James was prepared to show a good side when he realized he lost the woman he loved to another man and reluctantly agrees to let her go. All too often I’ve seen Mr. Henriksen as a much hated villain but seeing a little good side was a treat, and he did a fantastic job with it!!! Kevin Sorbo was an outstanding lead with his character Preston. He connects with the characters opposite him perfectly and there were many amusing moments and many instances that seem so typical of Kevin’s characters, the stubborn trait, difficult, surly and at times impossible and funny is always around when its needed and his character Preston was well defined and easy to relate to and then there are more wonderful moments when he can be wonderfully nice, gentle and kind especially with characters like these vulnerable women. He has a natural way of bonding with them.1024x576He is never in short supply of natural charm which oozes out of him so effortlessly so when we see that warm wonderful, caring side with a little touch of vulnerability in his character to make him feel real is a treat well worth waiting for and that passionate steamy scene was an added bonus in the end. No one does that better, he puts everything of the best in those moments, a perfect finish to a wonderful movie which is undoubtedly another treasure to behold!!! In conclusion, just want to add that it was a great script with a terrific story, fun action moments with gunfights and fist fights, terrific cast and a wonderful production. My only pet peeve is for the ending to have a few more extra minutes before fading to dark. The best moments are always the shortest but the sweetest!! I thank the entire production!! It was a great movie and I loved it!!

REVIEW: WALKING TALL: LONE JUSTICE

CAST

Kevin Sorbo (Supergirl)
Yvette Nipar (Robocop: The Series)
Haley Ramm (Disconnect)
Elizabeth Barondes (Made)
Rodrigo De La Rosa (Capadocia)
Jenny Shakeshft (W.)
Jonny Cruz (Matador)
Gail Cronauer (JFK)
Jackson Hurst (NCIS: Los Angeles)

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The film takes place one year following the events of Walking Tall: The Payback. In Dallas, when the two prime witnesses against the drug-lord Octavio Pérez are murdered by his gangsters in a safe-house, the testimony of FBI-agent Kate Jensen and three other agents become the only chance to keep the criminal in prison. They are lodged in another safe-house to wait for the trial, but the place is invaded by the criminals and the agents are executed. However, Kate is only wounded and her boyfriend Nick believes that there is a traitor in the agency and decides to bring her to his ranch in the country to protect her life with his reliable local friends.FIaUxJYPZlBQfb_1_aIt’s nice to see Kevin Sorbo back in his action roots, once again the story has nothing to do with Walking Tall 1 but is a direct sequel to the second one. It’s an average action Direct to DVD outing, but it works , it is what it’s meant go be.

REVIEW: WALKING TALL: THE PAYBACK

CAST

Kevin Sorbo (Supergirl)
A.J. Buckley (CSI: NY)
Yvette Nipar (Robocop: The Series)
Haley Ramm (Disconnect)
Jenny Shakeshft (W.)
Marc Macaulay (Swamp Thing: The Series)
Richard Dillard (The Last Stand)
Gail Cronauer (JFK)

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This time, the plot focuses on a local hero who takes justice into his own hands. Ex military Nick (Kevin Sorbo) returns to his hometown. His father, the sheriff, tries to stand up against a brutal gang of ruthless criminals who intimidate and blackmail the people to sell them their business. He then is killed by the gang’s leader Harvey Morris.walkingtall-2048x854With the help of a FBI agent and a few old friends, Nick himself becomes sheriff, then vows to do everything in his power to destroy the gang and their ruthless leader, and win back his city. Eventually he shoots Morris and his gang.936full-wedding-crashers-screenshot1

Kevin Sorbo is famous now for doing mostly direct to DVD films like this, but this one and its follow-up are actually quite good, obviously there’s no Rock in this or the third one but Kevin Sorbo is a worthy replacement

REVIEW: MEET THE SPARTANS

CAST

Sean Maguire (Once Upon A Time)
Carmen Electra (Scary Movie)
Ken Davitian (Borat)
Kevin Sorbo (Julia X)
Diedrich Bader (American Housewife)
Travis Van Winkle (Transformers)
Phil Morris (Smallville)
Robin Atkin Downes (Babylon 5)
Martin Klebba (Project X)

The film opens with a Spartan elder inspecting three babies. The first, an ugly, talking baby ogre (Shrek the Third), is abandoned to die for its deformity; while the second, who is Vietnamese, is adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The third, Leonidas, is accepted as a Spartan for his already-present muscular physique and prepared for kinghood through brutal training. An adult Leonidas (Sean Maguire) is cast out into the wild, survives the harsh winter, and hunts down a gangsta penguin (Happy Feet). Returning a king for his inauguration wearing a penguin skin hat, Leonidas sees Margo (Carmen Electra) erotically dancing and asks her to marry him, to which she responds by giving him the combination to her chastity belt.

Years later, Leonidas is training his son when Captain (Kevin Sorbo) informs him that a Persian messenger has arrived. Accompanied by the Spartan politician Traitoro, the messenger presents Xerxes’ demands for Sparta’s submission. After growing angry with both the messenger’s disrespect and finding him making out with his wife, Leonidas kicks him into the “pit of death”. Despite Traitoro’s advice that the messenger’s guards are now needed to convey the actual message, Leonidas kicks them in as well, along with several other people he simply dislikes. Resolving to face the Persians, Leonidas visits the prophets and gives them medicines such as Neutrogena as their prize for their consultation. They advise him that he should consult the Oracle for any advice. The Oracle, Ugly Betty, reveals that Leonidas will die should he go to war.

After reaching a decision while spending the night with his wife, Leonidas meets the soldiers assembled for his departure to Thermopylae, and finds that only thirteen were accepted in the army due to stringent requirements. Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton (also played by Parker), who tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans. When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified due to her inability to use a spear correctly. Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes’ messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff. Xerxes (Ken Davitian), impressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino. Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a “Yo Momma” fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away.

Hilton decides to betray the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed. Xerxes meets the twelve remaining Spartans and the war begins. Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo has several confrontations with Traitoro, as he is the vital vote in sending more troops to assist her husband. Following her address to the Council, Traitoro publicly betrays the Queen. The Queen then battles Traitoro in a parody of Spider Man 3 and defeats him using a dust buster. With Traitoro’s deceit exposed, the council is united with the queen.

At the Battle of Thermopylae, the Persians introduce their secret weapons, Ghost Rider and Rocky Balboa, who kills Sonio with a decapitating uppercut. Captain avenges him with Botox poisoning before being struck down by Xerxes. Leonidas pursues Xerxes and plays Grand Theft Auto. Managing to find the “Transformer Cube”, Xerxes uses it in a car to become Xerxestron and shows off his powers to access the “Leave Britney Alone!” video on YouTube. However, Xerxestron accidentally trips on his extension cord and falls on Leonidas and the surviving Spartans, apparently killing them. The blind Dilio eventually returns to Sparta to tell of Leonidas’ final moments. A year later, Dilio leads a larger Spartan force to defeat the Persians, but the blind warrior ends up going the wrong way. They end up in Malibu, where they knock Lindsay Lohan down as she is leaving rehab again.

If you have seen the original version of the 300 you will follow the story better.if you liked date movie , scary movie , all them micky take films you know what to expect from this.

REVIEW: COFFIN

CAST

Kevin Sorbo (Andromeda)
Bruce Davison (X-Men)
Patrick Barnitt (Chronology)
Johnny Alonso (Gotham)
Sunny Doench (Downloading Nancy)
Luke Barnett (Pandemic)
Candace Kita (Masked Rider)

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Coffin is the story of a Jack Samms, a man who discovers that his wife and her lover are buried in a wooden box with less than 75 minutes to live. A mysterious stranger offers Jack the opportunity to save his wife, as streaming video shot from the “coffin” reveals what could be her final moments alive. As a duo of detectives gain clues into the disappearance of the missing wife and her lover, Jack must play ever card that he has in order to win the game of cat and mouse that he’s been pulled into.arc2
Despite being shot on a low budget, the creators of Coffin were able to cast Bruce Davison (Senator Kelly in X-Men), and Kevin Sorbo of “Hercules” fame. The rest of the cast is largely made up of actors that have worked on short films, straight to DVD movies, and the occasional TV show.  The story itself isn’t especially original. Coffin borrows elements from Saw 2, with an incredibly similar “twist” to the 2010 thriller “Abandoned” with Dean Cain and Brittany Murphy. So while the twist ending is somewhat predictable, Coffin at least throws one final curveball in the end that the audience won’t see coming. The film has its moments early on, but more than a few scenes just come off as filler.
2011, COFFINCoffin was written by Kipp Tribble, who also appears in the film as a seasoned detective who likes to play by his own rules. Tribble shares a Director’s credit with Derik Wingo, who also appears in Coffin as a junior Detective. Both have worked mostly as uncredited film extras during their respective careers. So even though neither is a terrific actor, you have to cut them some slack, as they’re relatively new to having as much dialogue as they did in Coffin.  If you love low-budget thrillers, and like  Kevin Sorbo, Coffin is worth a watch.