REVIEW: SKY HIGH

CAST
Kurst Russell (Death Proof)
Danielle Panabaker (The Flash)
Michael Angarano (Almost Famous)
Kelly Preston (Twins)
Nicholas Braun (Red State)
Mary Elizabeth Winstead (Final Destination 3)
Lynda Carter (Wonder woman)
Bruce Campbell (Evil Dead)
Cloris Leachman (Scary Movie 4)
Jim Rash (Community)
Kevin McDonald (Galaxy Quest)
Patrick Warburton (Family Guy
Tom Kenny (Super Hero Squad)
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Will Stronghold (Michael Angarano) is beginning ninth grade at Sky High, a high school that teaches super powered children. Will’s parents are The Commander (Kurt Russell) and Jetstream (Kelly Preston), the world’s most famous superheroes. Will’s best friend is Layla (Danielle Panabaker), who has the power to manipulate plant life.
Will is anxious about attending Sky High, located on a floating campus reached by flying school bus, because, unbeknownst to his parents, he has not developed any super powers. The first day he and the other grade nines are harassed by a trio of bullies: the super fast Speed (Will Harris), Lash (Jake Sandvig) who can extend his body, and cheerleader Penny (Khadijah Haqq and Malika Haqq) who can create duplicates of herself. Because of his lack of powers, Will is slated to enter a curriculum for “Hero Support” and become a sidekick. His classmates include Ethan (Dee Jay Daniels) who can melt into a fluid, Zach (Nicholas Braun) who glows in the dark, Magenta (Kelly Vitz) who becomes a guinea pig, and Layla who joins the class in protest against the two track nature of the school’s education. The class is taught by The Commander’s former sidekick “All American Boy” (Dave Foley).
The Commander, unaware that his son has been relegated to Hero Support, shows Will his hidden trophy room. He is particularly proud of the mysterious weapon “The Pacifier” which he took from his science themed nemesis Royal Pain years ago. Unknown to either of them, Royal Pain, who had been presumed dead, watches the exchange from a hidden camera in one of the other trophies. As Will settles in to Sky High and makes friends with the other sidekicks he comes into conflict with fire wielding student Warren Peace (Steven Strait), whose supervillain father had been imprisoned by The Commander. During a fight between the two, Will demonstrates super strength, impressing Gwen Grayson (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), a beautiful and popular “technopath” who controls machines with her mind. Will begins spending more time with Gwen and her popular friends, ignoring the sidekicks and Layla, who reveals to Warren that she has loved Will for a long time.
On the day before the dance, Gwen tricks Will into throwing a party at his house, and she uses Speed to steal the Pacifier when she seduces Will into showing her the Secret Sanctum. After Gwen lies to Layla, who shows up to investigate the noise and believes the lie, Will breaks up with Gwen refusing to attend the dance even though his parents are going as honored guests. Later, he looks through his father’s old yearbooks and sees a student who resembles Gwen. Believing that the student is Royal Pain and that Gwen is her daughter he rushes to the dance.
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At the dance party, Gwen reveals that she is in fact Royal Pain. During her previous confrontation with the Commander, the Pacifier, which is meant to turn its target into an infant, had malfunctioned, turning her into a baby instead thus faking her suspected death. She has since waited sixteen years for revenge. With the help of Speed, Lash, and Penny, she takes over the school and uses the Pacifier to turn the faculty and students into infants. When Will arrives at school, he apologizes to Layla and teams up with Warren and the sidekicks to try to save the day. The sidekicks demonstrate their heroism after Royal Pain sabotages the school’s anti-gravity drive and their powers come in handy restarting it. Will, meanwhile, discovers that he also has his mother’s powers of flight when he is thrown off the edge of the school grounds and must prevent the campus from falling. Gwen and her henchmen are defeated and arrested and the faculty and students are returned to their proper ages. Will and Layla kiss, and a voiceover at the end reveals that they become a couple, he and Warren became best friends, and Ron Wilson gained superhuman powers after falling into a vat of toxic waste, and became a superhero.
This is a film that everyone should enjoy. Kids will love the exciting story and spectacular special effects, and there is plenty of humor that will appeal to adults.

REVIEW: GALAXY QUEST

CAST

Tim Allen (The Santa Clause)
Sigourney Weaver (Alien)
Alan Rickman (Alice Through The Looking Glass)
Tony Shalhoub (The Siege)
Sam Rockwell (Iron Man 2)
Daryl Mitchell (House Party)
Enrico Colantoni (Veronica Mars)
Robin Sachs (Buffy)
Jed Rees (News Movie)
Justin Long (New Girl)
Missi Pyle (Two and a Half Men)
Rainn Wilson (Super)
Dian Bachar (Orgazmo)
Gregg Binkley (My Name Is Earl)
Kevin McDonald (That 70s Show)
Jeremy Howard (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Corbin Bleu (Mystery Men)
Wayne Pére (Cloak & Dagger)
Morgan Rusler(Easy A)
J.P. Manoux (Veep)
Heidi Swedberg (Hot Shots)

The former cast of the once-popular television space-adventure series Galaxy Quest spend most of their days attending fan conventions and promotional stunts. Though Jason Nesmith (Allen), who played the commander of the NSEA Protector, thrives with the attention, the other cast members—Alexander Dane (Rickman) as the ship’s alien science officer, Fred Kwan (Shalhoub) as the chief engineer, Gwen DeMarco (Weaver) as the computer officer, and Tommy Webber (Mitchell) as a precocious child pilot—all resent these events.

During one event, Nesmith is approached by Mathesar (Colantoni) and others calling themselves “Thermians” and request his assistance, which he agrees to, thinking this is a planned and paying fan event. Later at that same convention, Nesmith becomes despondent after overhearing attendees speaking of him as a laughing stock by fans and his fellow actors, and he loses his temper with an avid fan, Brandon (Long). After Nesmith spends the night drinking heavily, the Thermians arrive to pick up a hungover Nesmith in the limo he had requested. Unaware that they are truly octopoidal aliens, using technology to appear human, the barely conscious Nesmith is oblivious to his limo being beamed aboard the Thermian’s spaceship. Aboard their ship in deep space, Nesmith goes through the motions of commanding the ship and asks to be returned home. When they send him back to Earth via a transporter, Nesmith realizes that it is all real. He races to meet his cast, accidentally bumping into Brandon and misplacing a Thermian communicator Mathasar gave him with Brandon’s fan-made replica. Nesmith eagerly relates his experience to the crew, who think he is drunk again. When another Thermian appears and request the entire crew’s help, Nesmith manages to convince them, along with their handler Guy Fleegman (Rockwell), an actor who played a unnamed security officer on one episode before being killed off, to come along. They are all transported to a perfect reproduction of the NSEA Protector in deep space, and are shocked by the reality of the situation.

Mathesar begs the crew to command the Protector, as Nesmith’s previous actions (namely, blowing up the opposing ship) have enraged Sarris (Sachs), a reptilian humanoid that seeks to wipe out the Thermians. While they were able to recreate the ship from the broadcast episodes, the Thermians have no idea how to pilot it. The crew hesitantly take the controls, and despite their ineptitude, the Thermians cheer them on. After the second encounter with Sarris’ ship, they barely evade his attack by flying through a minefield, severely damaging the ship. The humans take a shuttle to a nearby planet to find a replacement beryllium sphere as a new power source. They manage to secure the sphere after a run-in with the hostile alien species on the planet. Once back aboard the Protector, they find that Sarris and his soldiers have captured the ship.

Sarris interrogates the humans, discovering they are only actors, and recognizes that the Thermians have no concept of fiction, believing the show to have been real. Sarris sets the Protector to self-destruct and departs, leaving a few sacrificial soldiers to guard the humans. Nesmith and Dane use a gambit from the show to engineer their escape, and then Nesmith orders his fellow cast members to help rescue the other Thermians, finish repairs to the Protector, and prepare to engage Sarris in combat. Nesmith and DeMarco then set off into the bowels of the ship to stop the self-destruct sequence, using help from Brandon and his group of friends via the swapped communication device. Along the way, they encounter Omega 13, a plot device introduced in the final episode but never used; Brandon notes it could either destroy all matter in the universe or rewind time by 13 seconds, “enough time to undo one mistake”.

Having finally accepted their roles on the ship and gained confidence in themselves, Nesmith and his crew use the minefield as a weapon against Sarris’ ship, destroying it. They prepare to head to Earth when Sarris, who has transported over at the last moment, starts killing the crew. A desperate Nesmith activates the Omega 13, which reverses time far enough for him to knock out Sarris. They near a wormhole to return the humans home via the command module, and Nesmith assures Mathesar he has the ability to command the Protector along with the other Thermians. The humans, along with Laliari (Pyle), a Thermian that has fallen in love with Kwan, return home. The command module crashes into Earth near a fan convention and comes to a stop after crashing through one wall, which the audience takes as part of the show. As the crew exits the module, Sarris wakes up and tries to fire on them, but Nesmith reacts faster, and disintegrates Sarris with a phaser-like weapon. The crowd erupts into cheers. Some time later, Galaxy Quest is revived as a new series, starring the same cast along with Fleegman and Laliari.Great film, so very well written. A homage/parody to Star Trek, it’s also very well acted by those within it. And very, very funny.

25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: THAT 70s SHOW – THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES

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MAIN CAST
Topher Grace (Spider-Man 3)
Mila Kunis (Ted)
Ashton Kutcher (The Butterfly Effect)
Danny Masterson (Yes Man)
Laura Prepon (Karla)
Wilmer Valderrama (Minority Report)
Debra Jo Rupp (Big)
Kurtwood Smith (Robocop)
Tanya Roberts (The Beastmaster)
Don Stark (John Carter)
Lisa Robin Kelly (The Net: The Series)
Tommy Chong (Evil Bong)
Josh Meyers (Bruno)

THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER

GUEST CAST
Marion Ross (Anger Management)
The episode begins with  the gang hanging out in the basement watching The Grinch Who Stole Christmas. Later, Eric asks if he can have a Christmas party in the basement, and surprisingly, Red says yes. when Eric asks for money for the party (for beer, actually) Red gives him $40 for the Christmas tree and says he can keep what money’s left over. However, the gang decides to chop down a tree at the side of the road in order to spend all the money on beer. At work, Bob asks Red if he’ll stay and work at the store on Christmas Eve. Bob says that since all the other stores are closed, some last-last-minute shoppers might swing by. To Red’s dismay, Kelso ends up being the only one to show up, and he buys a set of hot rollers for Jackie and plays few rounds of Pong with Red, who ends up purchasing that game for himself. Back at the house, a jealous Laurie pours rum in the punch Kitty made for Eric’s party. However, no one drinks it except for Jackie and three of her friends. Upstairs, two state troopers barge in to the party to inform Red and Kitty that their Christmas tree is a stolen one. Red then stops the party downstairs and takes Jackie and her friends home, and kicks everyone else out. Hyde then gives Donna her gift, a picture of the two in 5th grade. A jealous Eric then proceeds to give Donna White Shoulders perfume, the gift Hyde wanted to buy her but couldn’t afford.
A first Christmas for That 70s Show and a classic Eric trying to throw a party using the money he would of spent on a Tree. Laurie spikeing the punch making all the girls drunk and trying to seduce Fez is great.
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HYDE’S CHRISTMAS RAGER

GUEST CAST
Robert Hays (Airplane)
Matt Battaglia (Mike & Molly)
Now Hyde has moved from the over-protective Forman home to his carefree dad, barman Bud, the basement boys look forward to a keg party there, too frat-type for the girls’ taste. Kitty nearly saw trough their ‘Christmas’ preparations aren’t innocent, so the unsupervised drinking games deliver Eric so drunk he pours unprecedented disrespect and vomit all over Red’s shoes. Kitty isn’t interested in punishment, she cares for the utter lack of educational guidance ‘her boy’ Steven gets from his dad, so Red is made against his convictions to go read Bud the parental responsibility riot act.
A Second Christmas for the and another great episode. Hyde trying to bond with his father  whilst being allowed to get away with anything. Red finding the best punishment for Eric is a great highlight. That 70s Show always does great Christmas episodes.

AN ERIC FORMAN CHRISTMAS

GUEST CAST
Kevin McDonald (Epic Movie)
Nick Bakay (Sabrina)
The gang grumbles Christmas isn’t real fun any more, like when they were little kids, except Kelso who looks forward to the traditional X-mas children’s specials, but Jackie won’t let him watch. Kitty gets them to volunteer for pastor Dave’s church pageant, with Eric as director, who has an all too hard time stopping everyone for modernizing their parts most un-biblically. When Dave tries to take over directing and the lead, he is irreverently tied up, enough for Leo to give the sacrilegers heaps. Meanwhile Red is so angry at Bob’s seasonal ‘noise’ that he hides his neighbors’ decorations.
This is one of my all time favorite episodes, the best part is seeing the end result of the church pageant which you get to see over the episodes ending credits.

CHRISTMAS

GUEST CAST
Shannon Elizabeth (American Pie)
Ashley Eckstein (Star Wars: The Clone Wars)
Shonda Farr (Crossroads)
Red is chosen to be Santa claus, instead of Bob who grudgingly accepts to assist as an elf with Kitty, who by signing up the kids for the same duty unknowingly convinced the boys to attend the school dance they had sworn never to join again. Donna is furious when she learns Eric hangs out there and is now popular with a few schoolgirls, so she turns up during her radio show. Fez fears the football team will again lock him up in a locker. Hyde only came for Jackie’s sake. Kelso only went to avoid going to the library as Brooke suggested
 It’s great to see the gang growing up seeing how much they have come along. Red as Santa is creepy and disturbing but that’s what makes it funny. Kelso has some lovely scenes especially when he realises he would rather spend Christmas with Brooke.

WINTER

GUEST CAST
Carolyn Hennesy (Click)
Kelso accidentally took the police department-donated gifts for needy kids, but Eric begs to keep some as Red never gave him any toys, just a rain coat and a hose-down to test it; opening ‘just one’ package leaves nothing unwrapped. The girls are flattered when Kitty invites them to help out the stuck-up ‘Ladies of Point Place’ (LOPPs) with their height of the year, the Christmas party, but angry because the boys couldn’t care less, Jackie is furious Hyde even reneges on his promise to attend in favor of boyish basement toy-games. Posh Patty Ryals marches in to take charge instead of Kitty because of an incident in 1963, ‘Santa’ Bob fondly remembers dating Patty. Red catches the boys playing, but with rare seasonal mildness lets them bring the toys to the community center, forcing him and the gang to stall Kitty.
Kelso stealing the toys is hilarious with out realising they were meant for the needy kids, Red showing surprising Christmas spirit in not turning the kids in.  Poor Eric getting tricked into going down the chimney and landing in a cake shop. Thankfully Donna rescues him.

WHO NEEDS YOU

GUEST CAST
Jud Tylor (Andromeda)
Jim Rash (The Descendants)
Fez almost loses his apartment when Jackie floods it. He’s ready to say “Good day!” to their co-habitation, but Jackie manages to salvage things by bonding with Fenton, the landlord, over shopping, and convincing him to let them stay. Red and Kitty are concerned over the number of arguments that Hyde and Samantha are having. But when they learn the reason for all the fights, it causes some sparks to fly in their own relationship. Donna tries to raise money for charity through her radio show and ends up having to resort to less than considerable ideas to do it.
Not much of a Christmas episode with the exception of Santa showing up at the end but still a great episode in the shows final year

REVIEW: EPIC MOVIE

CAST
Kal Penn (Superman Returns)
Adam Campbell (Date Movie)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 broke Girls)
Jayma Mays (Ugly Betty)
Crispin Glover (Alice In Wonderland)
Tony Cox (Bad Santa)
Carmen Electra (Scary Movie)
Fred Willard (Lois & Clark)
David Carradine (Kill Bill)
Kevin McDonald (That 70s Show)
Crista Flanagan (Disaster Movie)
Tad Hilgenbrink (American Pie: Band Camp)
Taran Killam (Ted 2)
Kevin Hart (Central Intelligence)
Lucy (Jayma Mays) finds that her adoptive father (David Carradine), a museum curator, has been attacked by Silas (Kevin Hart). Before dying, he gives clues which lead her to a “Golden Ticket” in a vending machine candy bar. Edward (Kal Penn) is training at a Mexican monastery to be a monk. Ignacio (Jareb Dauplaise) becomes enraged at Edward’s displeasure at the living conditions and has him beaten and thrown out the window. On the way Edward grabs a Monk’s “Golden Ticket”. Next, the film introduces Susan (Faune Chambers). She is going to Namibia to meet her new adoptive parents. While she orders water, snakes come out and hijack the plane. Samuel L. Jackson (James Walker, Sr.) pops up and starts repeatedly saying “I have had it with these goddamn snakes on this goddamn plane!” and he throws Susan out of the plane. Susan accidentally falls on Paris Hilton and finds her “Golden Ticket” in Paris’ purse. Then the film introduces Peter (Adam Campbell), a mutant, a student at Mutant Academy, who is often teased for his chicken-like wings. One day he asks Mystique (Carmen Electra) to come with him to the homecoming dance, but he ends up bullied by Mystique’s jealous boyfriend, Wolverine (Vince Vieluf), and the Headmaster, Magneto (Jim Piddock). As Magneto wills a locker door to open and knock Peter to the ground, another student’s “Golden Ticket” falls onto Peter’s chest.
All four meet up at Willy’s Chocolate Factory. Willy (Crispin Glover) reveals his diabolical secret: he plans to use them all as the ‘special ingredient’ in the treats (which is actual human parts). In an effort to hide from the maniacal Willy, Lucy soon finds a wardrobe. On the other side, in the middle of a wintry forest, she finds Mr. Tumnus (Hector Jimenez). He welcomes Lucy to Gnarnia. Feeling a burst of compassion, he manages to warn Lucy of the danger she is in. Edward follows Lucy to Gnarnia and meets the White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge). She convinces him to trap the other orphans and he can be the king of Gnarnia in her White Castle. All four main characters make their way to Mr. Tumnus’ house, where the orphans discover that they are all related to one another, and that the White Bitch killed their parents. They ally themselves with Harry Beaver (Katt Williams), Tumnus’ life partner. While this is occurring, Peter becomes Superman, but in the dream he gets shot in the eye and causing him to falls off the building, only to find out it is a nightmare. Edward sneaks off to the White Bitch’s castle, despite realizing she intends evil. Edward refuses to tell the White Bitch where his friends are, so she flashes him her breasts, hypnotizing him into giving up the information on the orphans; he is then imprisoned. The White Bitch sends Silas after the trio; Tumnus sacrifices himself to ensure their safety.
They end up meeting a graying Harry Potter (Kevin McDonald), along with a balding Ron Weasley (George Alvarez), and a pregnant Hermione Granger (Crista Flanagan) at Hogwarts, and other characters from famous movies. They all help Lucy, Susan, and Peter train for the war against the White Bitch. It’s soon revealed she plans to create a new continent for her followers via a magic crystal; she acknowledges this is the same plot as Superman Returns. Edward escapes with the assistance of Captain Jack Swallows (Darrell Hammond), only to find out later that it was a ruse as the Captain, the Bitch’s old enemy, needs intelligence out of Edward. Jack is then stabbed by the White Bitch as the crystal is thrown in the ocean and grows, putting the witch’s plan in motion.
Upon finishing their training, Lucy, Susan, and Peter head to the camp of Aslo (Fred Willard). Aslo agrees to help Edward, and he manages to kill Silas, but while breaking Edward out, Aslo is slain by the White Bitch. Despite this, the ungrateful orphans have a pre-battle party, during which Peter and Mystique (who, along with the others who bullied Peter, had come to help the trio) get in bed where Mystique asks what he would like her to be and Peter asks for big hooters and a ghetto booty which he says is a lot of junk in the trunk which she replies kinky. He then asks for badonkadonk, but then changes his mind for a mono-brow. He finally asks for big flabby grandma arms which disgusts her and he yells bingo wings like a fat blue Brittney Spears and then says come here and they have sex. Susan gets drunk and vomits everywhere; this so disgusts their new army that nobody shows up to help the orphans the next day. Despite the presence of a revenge-craving Jack on a giant wooden wheel, the four siblings are easily dispatched by the enemy. Peter is about to be slain when he finds the remote from Click using the device’s reality altering powers to save his siblings; they kill the army and erase the White Bitch’s plot. Although the others attempt to kill her while frozen, Peter declares the White Bitch will receive a fair and just trial in the new Narnia as it will be under a democracy. However, before it can be done, Jack’s wheel accidentally crushes her. The four are crowned the new rulers of the land: Peter the Heroic; Susan the Just; Edward the Loyal; and Lucy the Dumb-shit. Tumnus then shows up, having survived his battle with Silas. Decades later, the four now elderly rulers find the wardrobe again. They appear moments after they had left, now young again. They meet Borat (Danny Jacobs), who congratulates them on a happy ending but, then, the four are accidentally run over by Jack’s wheel. Borat is mad with himself for saying it was a happy ending, so he slaps his butt, ending the film.
Extended version
The unrated, longer version (released in the United Kingdom as the “Rude & Crude Unseen Version”) of the film features some scenes not shown in the theatrical version. In the last scene, Willy Wonka, instead of Borat, comes in and says: “I told you it was going to be an epic adventure.” Willy Wonka then goes in the wardrobe and puts out a “do not disturb” sign that refers to the girl in the wardrobe. The Oompa-Loompas come in and start singing the Willy Wonka theme song. The four are then crushed by the wheel. Also, during the scene where Lucy is crushed under the junk that falls out of the “Narnia” closet, the girl who runs out is nude, as opposed to wearing a bikini. In the Snakes on a Plane scene, when the Samuel L. Jackson lookalike yells, he replaces “goddamn” with “motherfuckin'”. In the sex scene with mystique, Peter follows big hooters with the words silver dollar nipples.
The jokes were funny but the plot was a little weird. You have to be knowledgeable about recent movies to get the jokes though because this is a spoof. All in all, it was hilarious. Crispin Glover is excellent here spoofing Willa Wonka. This movie got a lot of bad reviews because eople are being too critical and uptight about it