REVIEW: MEET THE SPARTANS

CAST

Sean Maguire (Once Upon A Time)
Carmen Electra (Scary Movie)
Ken Davitian (Borat)
Kevin Sorbo (Julia X)
Diedrich Bader (American Housewife)
Travis Van Winkle (Transformers)
Phil Morris (Smallville)
Robin Atkin Downes (Babylon 5)
Martin Klebba (Project X)

The film opens with a Spartan elder inspecting three babies. The first, an ugly, talking baby ogre (Shrek the Third), is abandoned to die for its deformity; while the second, who is Vietnamese, is adopted by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. The third, Leonidas, is accepted as a Spartan for his already-present muscular physique and prepared for kinghood through brutal training. An adult Leonidas (Sean Maguire) is cast out into the wild, survives the harsh winter, and hunts down a gangsta penguin (Happy Feet). Returning a king for his inauguration wearing a penguin skin hat, Leonidas sees Margo (Carmen Electra) erotically dancing and asks her to marry him, to which she responds by giving him the combination to her chastity belt.

Years later, Leonidas is training his son when Captain (Kevin Sorbo) informs him that a Persian messenger has arrived. Accompanied by the Spartan politician Traitoro, the messenger presents Xerxes’ demands for Sparta’s submission. After growing angry with both the messenger’s disrespect and finding him making out with his wife, Leonidas kicks him into the “pit of death”. Despite Traitoro’s advice that the messenger’s guards are now needed to convey the actual message, Leonidas kicks them in as well, along with several other people he simply dislikes. Resolving to face the Persians, Leonidas visits the prophets and gives them medicines such as Neutrogena as their prize for their consultation. They advise him that he should consult the Oracle for any advice. The Oracle, Ugly Betty, reveals that Leonidas will die should he go to war.

After reaching a decision while spending the night with his wife, Leonidas meets the soldiers assembled for his departure to Thermopylae, and finds that only thirteen were accepted in the army due to stringent requirements. Among them are Captain, his son Sonio, and a slightly unfit Spartan named Dilio. Once at the Hot Gates, they encounter a deformed Paris Hilton (also played by Parker), who tells Leonidas and the Captain about a secret goat path above the Hot Gates that Xerxes could use to outflank the Spartans. When she asks to be made a Spartan soldier, Leonidas rejects her as unqualified due to her inability to use a spear correctly. Leonidas and his platoon soon face off with Xerxes’ messenger and his Immortals, beating them in a dance contest before driving them off a cliff. Xerxes (Ken Davitian), impressed, personally approaches Leonidas and attempts to bribe him with a trip to the Palms Hotel and Casino. Leonidas declines, and the Spartans face the Persian army in a “Yo Momma” fight, which the Spartans win, but Dilio has his eyes scratched out and wanders away.

Hilton decides to betray the Spartans and reveals the location of the goat path to Xerxes in return for various gifts and for having her deformed hump removed. Xerxes meets the twelve remaining Spartans and the war begins. Meanwhile, back in Sparta, Queen Margo has several confrontations with Traitoro, as he is the vital vote in sending more troops to assist her husband. Following her address to the Council, Traitoro publicly betrays the Queen. The Queen then battles Traitoro in a parody of Spider Man 3 and defeats him using a dust buster. With Traitoro’s deceit exposed, the council is united with the queen.

At the Battle of Thermopylae, the Persians introduce their secret weapons, Ghost Rider and Rocky Balboa, who kills Sonio with a decapitating uppercut. Captain avenges him with Botox poisoning before being struck down by Xerxes. Leonidas pursues Xerxes and plays Grand Theft Auto. Managing to find the “Transformer Cube”, Xerxes uses it in a car to become Xerxestron and shows off his powers to access the “Leave Britney Alone!” video on YouTube. However, Xerxestron accidentally trips on his extension cord and falls on Leonidas and the surviving Spartans, apparently killing them. The blind Dilio eventually returns to Sparta to tell of Leonidas’ final moments. A year later, Dilio leads a larger Spartan force to defeat the Persians, but the blind warrior ends up going the wrong way. They end up in Malibu, where they knock Lindsay Lohan down as she is leaving rehab again.

If you have seen the original version of the 300 you will follow the story better.if you liked date movie , scary movie , all them micky take films you know what to expect from this.

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REVIEW: THE ARTIST

CAST

Jean Dujardin (Little White Lies)
Bérénice Bejo (Brave)
John Goodman (10 Cloverfield Lane)
James Cromwell (Star Trek: First Contact)
Missi Pyle (Two and a Half Men)
Penelope Ann Miller (Along Came A Spider)
Malcolm McDowell (Star Trek: Generations)
Beth Grant (Child’s Play 2)
Ed Lauter (The Number 23)
Nina Siemaszko (The West Wing)
Basil Hoffman (Night Shift)
Ken Davitian (Borat)

In 1927, silent film star George Valentin is posing for pictures outside the premiere of his latest hit film when a young woman, Peppy Miller, accidentally bumps into him. Valentin reacts with humor to the accident and shows off with Peppy for the cameras. The next day, Peppy finds herself on the front page of Variety with the headline “Who’s That Girl?” Later, Peppy auditions as a dancer and is spotted by Valentin, who insists that she have a part in Kinograph Studios’ next production, despite objections from the studio boss, Al Zimmer. While performing a scene in which they dance together, Valentin and Peppy show great chemistry, despite her being merely an extra. With a little guidance from Valentin (he draws a beauty spot on her, which will eventually be her trademark, after finding her in his dressing room), Peppy slowly rises through the industry, earning more prominent starring roles.Two years later, Zimmer announces the end of production of silent films at Kinograph Studios, but Valentin is dismissive, insisting that sound is just a fad. In a dream, Valentin begins hearing sounds from his environment (as does the audience), but cannot speak himself, then wakes up in a sweat. He decides to produce and direct his own silent film, financing it himself. The film opens on the same day as Peppy’s new sound film as well as the 1929 Stock Market Crash. Now Valentin’s only chance of avoiding bankruptcy is for his film to be a hit. Unfortunately audiences flock to Peppy’s film instead and Valentin is ruined. His wife, Doris, kicks him out, and he moves into an apartment with his valet/chauffeur, Clifton, and his dog. Peppy goes on to become a major Hollywood star.Later, the bankrupt Valentin is forced to auction off all of his personal effects, and after realizing he has not paid loyal Clifton in over a year, gives him the car and fires him, telling him to get another job. Depressed and drunk, Valentin angrily sets a match to his private collection of his earlier films. As the nitrate film quickly blazes out of control he is overwhelmed by the smoke and passes out inside the burning house, still clutching a single film canister. However, Valentin’s dog attracts the help of a nearby policeman, and after being rescued Valentin is hospitalized for injuries suffered in the fire. Peppy visits the hospital and discovers that the film he rescued is the one with them dancing together. She asks for him to be moved to her house to recuperate. Valentin awakens in a bed at her house, to find that Clifton is now working for Peppy. Valentin seems to remain dismissive of Peppy having taken him in, prompting Clifton to sternly remind Valentin of his changing luck.Peppy insists to Zimmer that Valentin co-star in her next film, threatening to quit Kinograph if Zimmer does not agree to her terms. After Valentin learns to his dismay that it had been Peppy who had purchased all his auctioned effects, he returns in despair to his burnt-out apartment. Peppy arrives, panicked, and finds that Valentin is about to attempt suicide with a handgun. Peppy tells him she only wanted to help him. They embrace and Valentin tells her it’s no use; no one wants to hear him speak. Remembering Valentin’s superb dancing ability, Peppy persuades Zimmer to let them make a musical together.Now the audience hears sound for the second time, as the film starts rolling for a dance scene with Peppy and Valentin and their tap-dancing can be heard. Once the choreography is complete, the two dancers are heard panting. The director of the musical calls out audibly, “Cut!” to which Zimmer adds: “Perfect. Beautiful. Could you give me one more?” Valentin, in his only audible line, replies “With pleasure!” revealing his French accent. The camera then pulls back to the sounds of the film crew as they prepare to shoot another take.I’d never heard of the principal actors. Both are utterly captivating. Director Michel Hazanavicius (incidentally, the husband of the female lead, Berenice Bejo) has apparently wanted to make a silent movie for ages. The long gestation period shows in this thoughtful, clever homage to Hollywood’s silent era. Implausibly, a modern film without (much) sound or colour maintains viewer interest throughout. It is witty, impossibly romantic, intriguing and, above all, a must-see for anyone who’s losing their love of cinema. What should be nothing more than an interesting idea or a bit of a cliché, is in fact the absolute opposite: fresh and original. And one of the best films of 2011.

REVIEW: CHUCK – SEASON 2

CAST

Zachary Levi (Heroes Reborn)
Yvonne Strahovski (Batman: Bad Blood)
Adam Baldwin (Firefly)
Joshua Gomez (Invasion)
Sarah Lancaster (Saved By The Bell: The New Class)
Ryan McPartlin (J. Edgar)
Mark Christopher Lawrence (Halloween II)
Scott Krinsky (Transformers 3)
Vik Sahay (eXistenZ)
Julia Ling (Undoing)

Chuck and Sarah - 2x01 - Chuck vs the First Date - chuck-and-sarah Screencap

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST STARS

Bonita Friedericy (Veronica Mars)
Tony Todd (The Flash)
Michael Clarke Duncan (Sin City)
Matthew Bomer (Tru Calling)
Melinda Clarke (Gotham)
Nicole Richie (The Simple Life)
Tony Hale (Stranger Than Fiction)
Clyde Kusatsu (American Pie)
Jordana Brewster (D.E.B.S.)
Bruce Boxleitner (Babylon 5)
Carl Lumbly (Alias)
Gary Cole (Crusade)
Reginald VelJohnson (Die Hard)
Michael Rooker (Guardians of The Galaxy)
Dominic Monaghan (Lost)
Andy Richter (The Secret Life of Walter Mitty)
Jenny McCarthy (Two and A Half Men)
Brian Thompson (The Terminator)
Patricia Rae (Life)
Katrina Law (Arrow)
Brooklyn Decker (Battleship)
Robert Picardo (Stargate: Atlantis)
Arnold Vosloo (The Mummy)
Shaun Toub (Iron Man)
Chevy Chase (Christmas Vacation)
Christopher Cousins (The Vampire Diaries)
Ken Davitian (Borat)
Lori Alan (Family Guy)
Scott Bakula (Star Trek: Enterprise)
Morgan Fairchild (Roswell)

Sarah Walker (Chuck)

For those of you who have not watched Chuck before, I would recommend that you check out Season 1. Although Season 2 is superior in my opinion, Season 1 really lays down all the groundwork for what is to come.
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For those of you who have see Season 1, you will not be disappointed by what the new season has to offer. In S1, Chuck was mainly the passive observer, the guy who flashed on things, and often made situations worse than before. However, at times he was given opportunity to save the day, in something I like to call a ‘Chuck Moment’. Season 1 had a few of them (setting off the fireworks to distract the guards to save Sarah and Casey would be one) but Season 2 is full of them – and better off for it. Now don’t get me wrong, Chuck can still be blundering and innapropriate, but in the new season, he always gets the opportunity to be the hero. The first episode has a particularly good example of this.
Promo pics - 2x06 - Chuck vs. the Ex - chuck-and-sarah Photo
The season starts off very strong, following on with the storyline that involves the governement trying to make a new intersect (and invariably the team have to go on missions to help furthur that cause). In fact, the majority of the season is brilliant television, apart from a few select episodes that are merely good, dotted around the season. The season has a much more coherent storyline, with a smallish story arc near the start, and a solid story arc that takes off around episode 13.
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The character’s pasts are delved into alot more in this season, with a great appearance from Sarah’s father, a conman. Chuck’s past gets more attention however, as the long talked of ex, Jill gets reinvolved in Chuck’s life. Best of all may be the casting of Scott Bacula as Chuck’s father, who does a great job of convincing the audience of his connection to both Chuck and Ellie. Unfortunately, Casey’s past does not get an episode that shows him in a new light, like the Ilsa episode, rather a fairly disappointing face-off between him and his old mentor.
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Morgan’s back, along with the rest of the buy-more crew, and a new face joins the buy-more – that of Emmet (played by Tony Hale, of Arrested Development fame) to provide more comic relief in that bizzare place.

A truly amazing series, with twists and turns abound, and an ending that will only leave you wanting more.

REVIEW: BORAT

CAST
Sascha Baron Cohen (Borat)
Ken Davitian (Meet The Spartans)
Luenell (The Rock)
Pamela Anderson (Baywatch)
At the behest of the Kazakh Ministry of Information, reporter Borat Sagdiyev leaves Kazakhstan for the “Greatest Country in the World”, the “U, S and A” to make a documentary. He leaves behind his wife Oxana and other inhabitants of his village – including his “43-year-old” mother, “No. 4 prostitute in all of Kazakhstan” sister, “the town rapist”, and “the town mechanic and abortionist.” His companions are his producer Azamat Bagatov and a pet hen.
In New York, Borat sees an episode of Baywatch on TV and immediately falls in love with C. J. Parker. While interviewing and mocking a panel of feminists, he learns of the actress’ name and her residence in California. Borat is then informed by telegram that Oxana has been killed by a bear. Delighted, he secretly resolves to travel to California and make Anderson his new wife. He makes excuses to convince Azamat to travel to California with him. Azamat is afraid of flying because of the September 11, 2001 attacks, which he believes were the work of Jews. Borat, therefore, takes driving lessons and buys a dilapidated Gaz truck for the journey. During the trip, Borat acquires a Baywatch booklet at a yard sale and continues gathering footage for his documentary. He meets gay pride parade participants, politicians Alan Keyes and Bob Barr and African American youths. Borat is also interviewed on live television and disrupts the weather report. Visiting a rodeo, Borat excites the crowd with jingoistic American remarks, but then sings a fictional Kazakhstani national anthem to the tune of “The Star-Spangled Banner”, receiving a strong negative reaction. Staying at a bed-and-breakfast, Borat and Azamat are stunned to learn their hosts are Jewish. Fearful at the hands of their hosts, the two escape after throwing money at two woodlice, believing they are their Jewish hosts transformed. Borat attempts to buy a handgun to defend himself, but is turned away because he is not an American citizen. Borat purchases a bear for protection.
Borat seeks advice from an etiquette coach who suggests Borat attend a private dinner at an eating club in the South. During the dinner, he (unintentionally) insults or otherwise offends the other guests. When he lets Luenell, an African-American prostitute, into the house and shows her to the table, they both get kicked out. Borat befriends Luenell, and she invites him into a relationship with her, but he kindly tells her that he is in love with someone else. Borat then visits an antique shop with a display of Confederate heritage items, and clumsily breaks various items.
At a hotel, Borat, just out of the bath, sees Azamat masturbating over a picture of Pamela Anderson in the Baywatch booklet. An angry Borat accidentally reveals his real motive for traveling to California. Azamat becomes livid at Borat’s deception, and the situation escalates into a fully nude brawl with homoerotic undertones,[9] which spills out into the hallway, a crowded elevator, and ultimately into a packed convention ballroom. The two are finally separated by security guards. As a result, Azamat abandons Borat, taking his passport, all of their money, and their bear (whose head is later seen inside Azamat’s motel refrigerator). Borat’s truck runs out of gas, and he begins to hitchhike to California. He is soon picked up by drunken fraternity brothers from the University of South Carolina. On learning the reason for his trip, they show him the Pam and Tommy sex video, revealing that she is not the virgin he thought she was. After leaving the three students, Borat becomes despondent, burning the Baywatch booklet and, by mistake, his return ticket to Kazakhstan. He is also about to slaughter his pet hen, but then changes his mind and lets it go.
Borat attends a United Pentecostal camp meeting, at which Republican U.S. Representative Chip Pickering and Mississippi Supreme Court Chief Justice James W. Smith, Jr. are present. He regains his faith, and forgives Azamat and Pamela. He accompanies church members on a bus to Los Angeles and disembarks to find Azamat dressed as Oliver Hardy (though Borat thinks that he is dressed as Adolf Hitler). The two reconcile and Azamat tells Borat where to find Pamela Anderson. Borat finally comes face-to-face with Anderson at a book signing at a Virgin Megastore. After showing Anderson his “traditional marriage sack”, Borat pursues her throughout the store in an attempt to abduct her until he is tackled and handcuffed by security guards. Borat visits Luenell and they return to Kazakhstan together.
The final scene (set 8 months later) shows the changes that Borat’s observations in America have brought to his village, including the apparent conversion of the people to Christianity (the Kazakh version of which includes crucifixion and torturing of Jews) and the introduction of computer-based technology, such as iPods, laptop computers and a high-definition, LCD television. The film plays out with a recapitulation of a mock Kazakhstan national anthem glorifying the country’s potassium resources and its prostitutes as being the second cleanest in the region. The visual melange of Soviet-era photos are mixed with the real flag of Kazakhstan and, incongruously, the final frames show the portrait of Ilham Aliyev, real-life president of Azerbaijan, a country that had not been otherwise mentioned in the film.
Don’t expect a beautifully-created storyline with well-developed characters and clever story arcs, just enjoy seeing pretty much everyone set up, as they are repeatedly amazed and appalled by the antic of the man with the moustache.

REVIEW: GET SMART (2008)

CAST

Steve Carrell (Date Night)
Anne Hathaway (The Dark Knight Rises)
Dwayne Johnson (Hercules)
Alan Arkin (Argo)
Terence Stamp (Superman 1 & 2)
Terry Crews (Serving Sara)
David Kochner (American Dad)
Bill Murray (Lost In Translation)
Patrick Warburton (Family Guy)
Masi Oka (Heroes)
Nate Torrence (Zootropolis)
Ken Davitian (Borat)
Jessica Barth (Ted 1 & 2)
Larry Miller (10 Things I Hate About You)
James Caan (Elf)

Get Smart (2008 Movie) images Get Smart HD wallpaper and background photos

When Siegfried (Terence Stamp), the leader of KAOS, engineers a massive plan to sell nuclear weapons to all of America’s enemies, it’s up to the agents of CONTROL to stop him. However, almost all of those agents have been assassinated, forcing The Chief (Alan Arkin) to promote analyst Maxwell Smart (Steve Carell) to spy duty as Agent 86. Paired with Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway), the duo partake in a little globetrotting to sniff out KAOS’s plans, while a peculiar competitive/romantic chemistry forms between them. When matters go from bad to worse, it’s up to 86 and 99 to thwart KAOS’s evil scheme and save the world from certain doom.

Steve Carrell was terrific as Agent 86 and seemed to capture the essence of Maxwell Smart. Not only did his portrayal of him resembled that of Don Adams’ from the sound of Smart’s voice to the delivery of Smart’s lines, Carrell managed to inject a bit of his own personality to create a new Smart that didn’t stray too far away from the old. Anne Hathaway was perfect as Agent 99. She did bear some resemblance to Barbara Feldon and actually delivered her lines in a similar manner as her at times. But more importantly, she had great chemistry with Carrell.
Unlike previous film adaptations of old television series that only superficially resembled their TV series counterpart, this film can truly be considered a big screen version of the Get Smart TV series.

REVIEW: S.W.A.T. 1 & 2

 

CAST

Samuel L. Jackson (Avengers Assemble)
Colin Farrell (Minority Report)
Michelle Rodriguez (Blue Crush)
LL Cool J (Deep Blue Sea)
Josh Charles (The Good Wife)
Jeremy Renner (The Bourne Legacy)
Brian Van Holt (House of Wax)
Olivier Martinez (Taking Lives)
Larry Poindexter (Blade: The Series)
Lindsey Ginter (Gattaca)
Lucinda Jenney (Rain Man)
Jay Acovone (Stargate SG.1)
Ken Davitian (Borat)
Jenya Leno (Mutant X)
Ashley Scott (Birds of Prey)

 

The story has plenty of turns to keep things moving. There is a distinct three act setup with a definite conflict and climax in each act. In act one, we meet Jim Street, a S.W.A.T. officer for the L.A.P.D. in the middle of a compromising hostage situation. The split-second decision of his partner will cost him a demotion from S.W.A.T. and an important friendship. Lucky for Street, a legendary S.W.A.T. officer named “Hondo” has just arrived in his division to put together a new S.W.A.T. team full of hot, young talent . Controversial and untested, the team must complete an intense simulation involving a plane hijacking. If they fail, both Street and Hondo will lose their S.W.A.T. designation and their police badges forever. Act three centers around the prison transport of a master criminal who has offered 100 million dollars to anyone who can free him.

This structured story coupled with very simple scene composition gives S.W.A.T. the feeling of a TV cop show injected with blockbuster-style action. The formula works well and makes a lot of sense considering S.W.A.T. is based on a television show and is the feature film directorial debut of Clark Johnson. Johnson’s previous work included directorial stints for acclaimed TV crime dramas such as N.Y.P.D.S_W_A_T_-film-image

Not every scene is a success. The S.W.A.T. training sequence is a little tired and the film would really benefit from having ten minutes trimmed out of it. Additionally, the film comes across as a bit of a propaganda piece for Homeland Security. But all in all, the positives outweigh the negatives for S.W.A.T.

 

 

CAST

Gabriel Macht (The Recruit)
Robert Patrick (Terminator 2)
Carly Pope (Arrow)
Giancarlo Esposito (The Jungle Book)
Kristanna Loken (Painkiller jane)
Matt Bushell (Twilight)
Nicholas Gonzalez (The Flash)
Shannon Kane (The Originals)

A hotshot S.W.A.T. commander in Los Angeles, Paul (Gabriel Macht) is ordered to travel to Detroit to shape up the local squad, preparing them for a critical police certification test. Finding the officers lippy and lax in their discipline, Paul initiates a grueling regiment of weapons training and tactical thought. At first rebuffing the new commander’s demands, the team gradually comes around to respect Paul’s challenging ways, embarking on an exhausting education that comes in handy when Walter (Robert Patrick), a rogue government spook, aims to exact revenge on the gang after the death of his romantic fixation (Kristanna Loken, here for roughly 90 seconds) during a chaotic skirmish.

The original film also embraced the art of the training montage, allowing the cheerful roughhousing to continue in the sequel. The film is well stocked with bullets and brawn. More stunt work, less camera nonsense. Firefight is a  decent action film, but a lowkey sequel.