REVIEW: RISKY BUSINESS

CAST

Tom Cruise (The Mummy)
Rebecca De Mornay (The Hand That Rocks The Cradle)
Joe Pantoliano (The Matrix)
Nicholas Pryor (Collateral Damage)
Janet Carroll (The Omega Code)
Richard Masur (IT)
Curtis Armstrong (New Girl)
Bronson Pinchot (Lois & Clark)
Shera Danese (Serpico)
Raphael Sbarge (Murder In The First)
Bruce A. Young (Jurassic Park III)

Joel Goodson is a high-achieving high school student who lives with his wealthy parents in the North Shore area of Chicago. His father wants him to attend Princeton University, his alma mater, so Joel participates in Future Enterprisers, an extracurricular activity in which students work in teams to create small businesses. When his parents go away on a trip, Joel’s friend, Miles, convinces him to take advantage of his newfound freedom to have some fun. On the first night, he raids the liquor cabinet, plays the stereo loudly, and dances around the living room in his underwear and pink dress shirt to “Old Time Rock and Roll”. The following day, Miles calls a call girl named Jackie on Joel’s behalf. Jackie turns out to be a tall, masculine transvestite. Joel pays Jackie to go away, but before she leaves, she gives Joel the number for Lana, another prostitute. That night, Joel is unable to sleep and hesitantly calls Lana. She turns out to be a gorgeous blonde and they have sex all night.Lana asks Joel for $300 for her services. He goes to the bank, but when he returns, Lana is gone, along with his mother’s expensive Steuben glass egg. Joel finds Lana and demands the egg back, but they are interrupted by Lana’s pimp Guido, who pulls a gun. While in his father’s Porsche 928, Joel is chased by Guido, but eventually escapes. Lana tells Joel that the egg is with the rest of her stuff at Guido’s. Joel lets Lana stay at his house while he goes to school. When he returns, his friends are over, and Lana has invited another prostitute Vicki to stay, but Joel rejects the idea. That night, Joel, Lana, Vicki, and Joel’s friend Barry go out. They get stoned, and while Vicky and Barry wander away, Joel and Lana talk. Lana takes exception to something Joel says and leaves. While retrieving her purse from Joel’s car, she moves the shifter out of gear. Moments later, the car rolls down the hill and onto a pier, despite Joel’s futile attempt to stop it. The pier collapses, dumping the Porsche into Lake Michigan.When Joel takes the car to a repair shop, he is horrified to learn how much it will cost to fix it. He and Lana later decide to turn his parents’ house into a brothel for a night; Joel’s share of the profits will pay for the car repairs. The party is a huge success; the house is packed with Joel’s friends and classmates and Lana’s co-workers. However, the recruiter from Princeton, Rutherford chooses that night to interview Joel for admission to Princeton. The interview is plagued by interruptions, and Rutherford is unimpressed by Joel’s resume. Afterwards, he stays at the party and becomes acquainted with Lana’s friends. After the party, Joel and Lana go and have sex on the Chicago ‘L’.The next morning, Joel finds his house has been burgled. When he tries to call Lana, Guido answers; he tells Joel that he will let Joel buy back his furniture. Fortunately, Joel and his friends manage to get everything moved back in just as his parents walk in, though his mother notices a crack in her egg. Later, Joel’s father congratulates him; the interviewer was very impressed and has indicated Joel will be accepted into Princeton. Joel meets Lana at a restaurant, and they speculate about their future. She tells him that she wants to keep on seeing him; he jokes that it will cost her.An instant classic upon release that still holds up over 20 years later.

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REVIEW: TOP OF THE WORLD

 

CAST

Peter Weller (Robocop)
Dennis Hopper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2)
Tia Carrere (Wayne’s World)
David Alan Grier (Jumanji)
Joe Pantoliano (The Matrix)
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (Mortal Kombat)
Peter Coyote (Sphere)
Martin Kove (The Karate Kid)
Ed Lauter (The Artist)

top-of-the-world_01In Las Vegas for a quicky divorce, a just-paroled ex-cop and his wife wander into the Top of the World Casino, run by the shady Charles Atlas. They win big, right as the casino is being robbed. The police believe their big win was a staged diversion, and the two of them become suspects. Over the course of the evening and next morning, the two attempt to escape to surrounded casino, and to prove their innocence, as well as to save their marriage.3a06eb652967c723cced5d8f718Not a terrible movie, but it’s kind of lacking. I would only recommend you watch it if nothing else better is playing on TV.

REVIEW: MEMENTO

CAST

Guy Pearce (Prometheus)
Carrie-Anne Moss (Jessica Jones)
Joe Pantoliano (The Matrix)
Mark Boone Junior (Batman Begins)
Stephen Tobolowsky (Groundhog Day)
Thomas Lennon (Santa Clarita Diet)
Callum Keith Rennie (Californication)

The film starts with the Polaroid photograph of a dead man. As the sequence plays backwards the photo reverts to its undeveloped state, entering the camera before the man is shot in the head. The film then continues, alternating between black and white and color sequences.The black and white sequences begin with Leonard Shelby, an insurance investigator, in a motel room speaking to an unseen and unknown caller. Leonard has anterograde amnesia and is unable to store recent memories, the result of an attack by two men. Leonard explains that he killed the attacker who raped and strangled his wife, but a second clubbed him and escaped. The police did not accept that there was a second attacker, but Leonard believes the attacker’s name is John or James, with a last name starting with G. Leonard conducts his own investigation using a system of notes, Polaroids, and tattoos. From his occupation, Leonard recalls a fellow anterograde amnesiac: Sammy Jankis. Sammy’s diabetic wife, who wasn’t sure if his condition was genuine, repeatedly requested insulin; she hoped that he would remember having given her an injection and stop himself from giving another before she died of an overdose. However, Sammy continues to administer the injections, and his wife falls into a fatal coma.The color sequences are shown reverse-chronologically. In the story’s chronology, Leonard self-directively gets a tattoo of John G’s license plate. Finding a note in his clothes, he meets Natalie, a bartender who resents Leonard as he wears the clothes and drives the car of her boyfriend, Jimmy Grantz. After understanding his condition, she uses it to get Leonard to drive a man named Dodd out of town and offers to run the license plate as a favor. Meanwhile, Leonard meets with a contact, Teddy, who helps with Dodd, but warns about Natalie. However, a photograph instigates Leonard not to trust him. Natalie provides Leonard the driver’s license for a John Edward Gammell, Teddy’s full name. Confirming Leonard’s information on “John G” and his warnings, Leonard drives Teddy to an abandoned building, leading to the opening, where he shoots him.In the final black-and-white sequence, prompted by the caller, Leonard meets with Teddy, an undercover officer, who has found Leonard’s “John G,” Jimmy, and directs Leonard to the abandoned building. When Jimmy arrives, Leonard strangles him and takes a photo of the body. As it develops, the black-and-white transitions to the final color sequence. Leonard swaps clothes with Jimmy, hearing him whisper “Sammy.” As Leonard has only told Sammy’s story to those met, he suddenly doubts Jimmy’s role. Teddy arrives and asserts that Jimmy was John G, but when Leonard is undeterred, Teddy reveals that he helped him kill the real attacker a year ago, and he has been using Leonard ever since. Teddy points out that since “John G” is common, he will cyclically forget and begin again and that even Teddy himself has a “John G” name. Further, Teddy claims that Sammy’s story is Leonard’s himself, repressing the memory to escape guilt.After hearing Teddy’s exposition, Leonard consciously burns Jimmy’s photograph, writes a message to himself on Teddy’s photograph not to trust Teddy, and drives off in Jimmy’s car. He has Teddy’s license plate number tattooed as the second attacker, leading to his eventual death.This film will leave its own memento on your mind, and you’ll have a hard time forgetting how much you enjoyed it.

 

REVIEW: PERCY JACKSON & THE LIGHTNING THIEF

CAST

Logan Lerman (Fury)
Brandon T. Jackson (Fast & Furious)
Alexandra Daddario (Texas Chainsaw)
Jake Abel I Am Number Four)
Sean Bean (Game of Thrones)
Kevin McKidd (Dog Soldiers)
Steve Coogan (Tropic Thunder)
Melina Kanakaredes (CSI: NY)
Rosario Dawson (The Denfendors)
Dylan Neal (Arrow)
Erica Cerra (Power Rangers)
Stefanie von Pfetten (Decoys)
Ona Grauer (V)
Serinda Swan (Smallville)
Conrad Coates (Tron Legacy)
Ray Winstone (Elfie HOpkins)
Uma Thurman (Kill BIll)
Joe Pantoliano (The Matrix)
Pierce Brosnan (The World’s End)
Julian Richings (Cube)
Catherine Keener (8mm)
Annie Ilonzeh (Arrow)
Bonita Friedericy (Chuck)
Marie Avgeropoulos (The 100)
Natassia Malthe (Elektra)
Chelan Simmons (Final Destination 3)
Maria Olsen (Paranormal Activity 3)

In New York City, Zeus and Poseidon meet at the top of the Empire State Building, where Zeus reveals that his master lightning bolt has been stolen and accuses Poseidon’s demigod son, Percy Jackson, of the theft. Poseidon reminds him that Percy is unaware of his true identity, but Zeus declares that unless his master bolt is returned to Mount Olympus before the summer solstice, in two weeks’ time, war will be waged between all the gods.Percy is a 16-year-old boy who appears to his peers to be dyslexic and has a unique ability to stay underwater for a long time. While on a school trip to the local museum, Percy is attacked by Alecto, a Fury disguised as his substitute teacher, Mrs. Dodds who demands the lightning bolt. Percy’s best friend, Grover Underwood, and his Latin teacher, Mr. Brunner — both of whom appear disabled — help Percy and scare off the fury using a pen from Brunner. Grover tells Percy to use the pen, and Percy discovers it is a sword. Upon learning of the Fury’s reason for the attack, Brunner has Grover take Percy and his mother Sally to Camp Half-Blood, leaving behind Sally’s abusive husband, Gabe Ugliano. However, the three are attacked by a minotaur that appears to kill Sally, who is unable to enter the camp. He uses his sword to fight the Minotaur, without initial success. Percy kills the minotaur with its own horn, then faints from shock.Three days later, Percy wakes up in the camp. He learns he is the son of Poseidon, Grover is a satyr and his protector, and Brunner is the centaur Chiron, also initially disguised. Chiron suggests that Percy go to Mount Olympus to convince Zeus of his innocence. Percy begins training to use his demigod powers, which include water manipulation and using water to heal. He also meets other demigods, including Annabeth Chase, daughter of Athena; and Luke Castellan, son of Hermes. Percy is visited by a fiery apparition of his uncle Hades, who reveals that Sally is with him in the Underworld and that he will return her safely if Percy hands over the lightning bolt. Defying Chiron’s orders, Percy decides to go to the Underworld, joined by Grover and Annabeth. They visit Luke, who gives them a map showing the location of three pearls belonging to Hades’ wife, Persephone, which they can use to escape the Underworld. They are also given a pair of winged sneakers Luke stole from his father and a shield Luke describes as his favourite.The trio heads out, locating the first pearl at an old garden center before they suddenly encounter Medusa, who tries to kill them until decapitated by Percy; they take her head with them for later use. They locate the second pearl in the Parthenon in Nashville; Percy uses the winged shoes to take it from a statue of Athena. However, they are then confronted by the Hydra, which Grover turns to stone and kills using Medusa’s head. The third pearl is located at the Lotus Casino in Las Vegas, where the three eat lotus flowers and forget their reason for being there. They stay in the casino for five days until Poseidon speaks in Percy’s mind, helping Percy return to his senses. Percy frees Grover and Annabeth from the effects of the flowers and they flee, discovering that the casino is run by the Lotus-Eaters, and they had been keeping people captive since ancient times. With all three pearls, Percy, Grover, and Annabeth head into the Underworld, the portal to which is located in Hollywood.In the Underworld, they meet Hades and Persephone. Though Percy tells Hades that he does not have the lightning bolt, Hades finds it hidden inside Luke’s shield, revealing that Luke is the lightning thief. Persephone knocks Hades unconscious with the lightning bolt to get her revenge on him for imprisoning her for all eternity and hands the bolt to Percy. However, because they only have three pearls, Grover remains with Persephone to allow Percy’s mother to leave. Percy, Annabeth, and Sally teleport to the Empire State Building but are attacked by Luke, who wants to destroy Mount Olympus to secure the demigods’ place as the new rulers of Western Civilization. After a fight across Manhattan, Percy defeats and apparently kills Luke and returns the lightning bolt to Zeus, who forgives Percy and allows Poseidon to briefly speak with his son. The film ends with Percy and Annabeth reuniting with Grover, furloughed from Hades and sporting a new pair of small horns that designate his promotion to senior protector. Percy and Annabeth are reunited, and they nearly kiss but Annabeth tricks Percy and they continue to train. In the post credits-scene, Ugliano is kicked out of the apartment. He decides to get a beer but finds a note from Percy saying that he should not open the refrigerator. He breaks the lock anyway and is turned to stone and killed by Medusa’s head inside, though this occurs off-screen as the movie fades to black.A fun movie,  I  enjoyed the plot, action, fabulous cast and special effects, looking forward to watching the second one.

 

REVIEW: THE SIMPSONS – SEASON 17-18

CAST

Dan Castellaneta (Super 8)
Julie Kavner  (Dr. Dolittle)
Yeardley Smith (Dead Like Me)
Nancy Cartwright (Kim Possible)
Hank Azaria (The Smurfs)
Harry Shearer (This Is Spinal Tap)
Pamela Hayden (Recess)
Tress MacNeille (Futurama)
Russi Taylor (Babe)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Alec Baldwin (The Shadow)
Joe Mantegna (Criminal Minds)
Maggie Roswell (Pretty In Pink)
Dennis Rodman (3rd Rock From The Sun)
Lily Tomlin (The West Wing)
Marcia Wallace (Full House)
Maria Grazia Cucinotta  (The Rite)
Michael York (Logan’s Run)
Maurice LaMarche (Futurama)
Antonio Fargas (Starsky and Hutch)
Susan Sarandon (Tammy)
Dave Thomas (Bones)
Ricky Gervais (Ghost Town)
Richard Dean Anderson (Stargate SG.1)
Frances McDormand (Fargo)
Larry Hagman (Dallas)
Melanie Griffith (Working Girl)
Stacy Keach (The Bourne Legacy)
Mandy Moore (Saved)
Michael Imperioli (The Lovely Bones)
Joe Pantoliano (The Matrix)
Fran Drescher (The Nanny)
Kelsey Grammer (Frasier)
Richard Lewis (Drunks)
Dr. Phil (Scary Movie 4)
Kiefer Sutherland (24)
J.K. Simmons (Spider-Man)
Sab Shimono (Teenage Mutant Ninja III)
Natalie Portman (Thor)
Eric Idle (Life of Brian)
Andy Dick (Dude, Where’s My Car?)
Meg Ryan (Amityvlle 3)
Jane Kaczmarek (Malcolm In The Middle)
Betty White (The Golden Girls)
Stephen Hawking (The Big Bang Theory)
Mary Lynn Rajskub (2 Broke Girls)
Ludacris (2 Fast 2 Furious)

When we were 17 it was a very good year — a year for Homer’s new dad, MacGyver gets mad, Sideshow Bob’s not so bad… Another comical compilation of “The Simpsons” – the longest-running scripted show in television history – has arrived. Season 17 contains all 22 outrageous episodes, a vast repertoire of Springfieldian special features, plus a mind-blowing list of celebrity guest voices, including Alec Baldwin, Larry Hagman, William H. Macy, Frances McDormand, Rob Reiner, Susan Sarandon and Lily Tomlin, just to name a few, with additional guest voices also providing commentary including Richard Dean Anderson, Ricky Gervais, Michael York and Kelsey Grammer. Phew!

SEASON 17 HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE

17.1) BONFIRE OF THE MANATEES

After Homer gets into trouble over his football gambling debts, he allows the Springfield Mafia to shoot a porno film (euphemistically called a “snuggle film”) in the house without Marge’s permission. When she and the kids return home from a trip to “Santa’s Village” and find production still going on, a furious Marge leaves for the beach–and encounters a marine biologist named Caleb Thorn who has dedicated his life to saving manatees.17.2) THE LITTLE GIRL WHO SLEPT TOO LITTLE

After the family successfully protests against a stamp museum being built next to their house, a cemetery is built near the Simpson house instead, making the normally unflappable Lisa realize that someone as smart as her can be afraid of something

17.5) MARGE’S SON POISONING

Marge buys a tandem bicycle and after she fails to ride it on her own, Bart offers to ride with her. He soon finds himself increasingly spending time with his mother, until school bullies accuse him of being a “mama’s boy”. Meanwhile, Moe pushes Homer into the world of professional arm wrestling after seeing Homer doing 50,000 reps on his right arm.17.6) SEE HOMER RUN

In order to win back Lisa’s love after shunning her Father’s Day gift (and fearing that the action will cause Lisa to despise all men), Homer takes a job as a costumed mascot known as “The Safety Salamander”, who wins public acclaim for saving drivers from a car accident. Meanwhile, Springfield holds a recall election to get Mayor Quimby out of office.17.7) THE LAST OF THE RED HAT MAMAS

Marge joins a woman’s group after Homer humiliates her at the Mayor’s Easter egg hunt, but Marge discovers that her new friends are thieves planning a heist. Meanwhile, Lisa searches for a tutor to help her speak Italian–and finds one in Milhouse.screen-shot-2012-10-14-at-12-39-35-pm17.8) THE ITALIAN BOB

After Mr. Burns is teased about his car, he sends Homer and the family off to Italy to pick up his new fancy sports car. While on their Italian adventure, the Simpsons end up stranded in a small Italian village where a rehabilitated Sideshow Bob reigns as mayor with a wife and son.17.10) HOMER’S PATERNITY COOT

Marge’s protest against a toll booth causes an accident at the Springfield Tire Yard (which has been perpetually on fire since the 1980s), melting a frozen section of a mountain and revealing the corpse of a mailman who has a letter from Homer’s mom, who had an affair with a handsome lifeguard who may be Homer’s biological father.17.11) WE’RE ON THE ROAD TO D’OHWHERE

After Bart steals a key from Principal Skinner’s office and gets himself into hot water (literally, by fooling around with the school’s steam system), Principal Skinner sentences Bart to a “behavior modification camp”–and Homer must give up his Vegas vacation with his bar buddies in order to take Bart there since he has been put on the airport’s “No Fly” List. Meanwhile, Marge and Lisa have a yard sale–and discover that their biggest-selling product are the many expired medications they have accumulated over the years.17.12) MY FAIR LADDY

Lisa attempts to transform Groundskeeper Willie into a proper gentleman after Groundskeeper Willie’s shack collapses and, like many other secondary and one-time characters over the years, is forced to live with The Simpsons. Meanwhile, Homer becomes a human billboard to save the company that makes his pants.17.15) HOMER SIMPSON, THIS IS YOUR WIFE

Homer’s obsession with Lenny’s new plasma TV prompts Marge to enter the family in a sweepstakes, and they win a trip to the Fox Studio Lot. Against Marge’s wishes, Homer signs them up for a Trading Spouses/Wife Swap-style reality show and is forced to take in a controlling wife, while Marge moves in with a beaten-down husband, Charlie, and his perfect son.17.17) KISS KISS, BANG BANGALORE

Patty and Selma abduct Richard Dean Anderson (the actor best known for playing MacGyver) during the Springfield Stargate SG-1 convention after Anderson rudely tells the terrible twins that he only did MacGyver to make money. Meanwhile, Mr. Burns outsources his nuclear plant to India and chooses Homer to be the new boss.17.19) GIRLS JUST WANT TO HAVE SUMS

Principal Skinner is replaced by a women’s education expert after making a sexist statement about women’s math skills during a musical (which was written by a former female Springfield Elementary school student who was a math whiz), who segregates the school by gender. At first, Lisa loves the arrangement, but when she discovers that the girls’ classes are more about self-esteem boosting than actual learning, Lisa disguises herself as a boy and attends the boys’ classes.17.20) REGARDING MARGIE

Marge goes nuts trying to clean the kitchen in time for a best house contest, but when she inhales the fumes of one too many cleaning solvents, she passes out and bangs her head on a stool. When Marge comes to at the hospital, she is stricken with amnesia, which does not last when she immediately remembers everyone in the family through their quirks–except for Homer. With Marge’s memory of Homer erased, Patty and Selma help their sister find a new man.17.21) THE MONKEY SUIT

Reverend Lovejoy is appointed to spread the word of creationism in Springfield after Flanders complains about a new museum display about evolution, leading creationism to be taught in schools — and Lisa to fight back with secret classes about Charles Darwin and his theories of evolution.17.22) HOMER AND MARGE TURN A COUPLE PLAY

A first baseman for the Springfield Isotopes calls upon Homer and Marge to help him with his marriage to a stripper/pop singer named Tabitha Vixx, who upstages him with a racy musical number during one of his games.71Mvq0DbknL._SL1500_The argument will rage long  about when exactly America’s finest television animated export actually peaked. After 18 seasons, the show is still going strong.

SEASON 18 HIGHLIGHTS INCLUDE

18.1) THE MOOK, THE CHEF, THE WIFE AND HER HOMER

Lisa becomes friends with Fat Tony’s son Michael, who would rather cook than run a crime ring, but when the Simpsons are invited over for dinner and Fat Tony is shot, Homer ends up being the town’s newest kingpin.18.2) JAZZY AND THE PUSSYCATS

Bart gets a drum kit to work out his aggressions after being a nuisance at the funeral of Homer’s Vegas wife and becomes top pick for a local jazz band — a position that the saxophone-playing Lisa has been going after for years.18.3) PLEASE HOMER, DON’T HAMMER ‘EM

Marge takes an interest in carpentry after reading some books on the subject meant for Homer, but when everyone in town declines Marge’s services (because they believe that women cannot be carpenters), Marge uses Homer as a front. Meanwhile, Bart discovers that Principal Skinner is allergic to peanuts and uses his allergy to do his bidding.8_cWv8TwU5iSDN-wTr-T9YU_re018.6) G.I. D’OH

Homer finds himself in an army training camp after trying to get his children out of an agreement to join by age 18.18.6) MOE’N’A LISA

Lisa discovers that Moe’s written rantings are perfect fodder for poetry, but when Moe is invited to a writer’s convention that throws out anyone who uses someone else to create their works, Moe ends up taking the credit.18.7) ICE CREAM OF MARGIE: WITH THE LIGHT BLUE HAIR

After Homer gets fired once again from the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant, he takes over Springfield’s ice cream truck business after his favorite driver dies. Meanwhile, Marge, depressed over seeing women more successful than her and looking for a way to be remembered, creates sculptures from the discarded Popsicle sticks in Homer’s ice cream truck.18.10) THE WIFE AQUATIC

When Patty and Selma save “Outdoor Movie Night” from going bust by playing an old home movie of their time at Barnacle Bay, Homer decides to surprise Marge by taking her and the kids there — only to find her childhood vacation spot an abandoned wreck.18.12) LITTLE BIG GIRL

When Cletus ineptly tosses his pipe, Springfield is in danger when the town is about to be hit by a ferocious fire. Bart unwittingly saves the day and is rewarded with a driver’s license. However, when he drives to North Haverbrook, he is then engaged with a girl named Darcy who ropes Bart into marriage after declaring that she’s pregnant. Meanwhile, Lisa lies about her family heritage in an essay and gets chosen to give a keynote speech at a convention.18.13) SPRINGFIELD UP!

Declan Desmond returns as he shows a documentary about Springfield’s current adult population as children, discussing their future aspirations and meets up with Homer to see if he followed his dreams.Rome-old_and_Juli-eh18.15) ROMEO-OLD AND JULI-EH

When Grampa gets kicked out of the retirement castle thanks to Homer declaring bankruptcy (and discovering that bankruptcy laws have changed), Grampa falls in love with Marge’s sister Selma, prompting sworn enemies Homer and Patty to team up to break them up. Meanwhile, Bart and Lisa con a delivery man into giving them cardboard boxes for a fort, but the delivery men fight back.18.16) HOMERAZZI

After the family photo album is destroyed in a fire involving a Krusty doll and a bottle of cologne, Marge restages all of the family’s photographs, and when a celebrity dating scandal is captured in the background of one of their photos, the Simpsons strike tabloid gold. Tasting success and seeing money to be made, Homer takes to the streets as one of the paparazzi, capturing Springfield’s celebrities at their worst.18.17) MARGE GAMER

Marge discovers the wonders of the Internet and becomes hooked on an online roleplaying game, where Bart is the game master. Meanwhile, Lisa resorts to cheating to score points with Homer (who is now a referee) during soccer matches.Simpsons_18_20_P418.19) CROOK AND LADDER

When reading a parenting magazine, Marge follows the advice too literally and throws away Maggie’s pacifier. However, when the pacifier is thrown in the trash, Maggie goes on a path of destruction in the Simpsons’ home. Meanwhile, Homer, Moe, Apu, and Principal Skinner become volunteer firefighters and begin stealing items from the homes whose fires they extinguish.18.21) 24 MINUTES

When finding out Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney plan on sabotaging Springfield Elementary School’s annual bake sale by releasing the “ultimate stinkbomb” (a rotten yogurt cup from Springfield’s Nuclear Power Plant), Bart and Lisa enlist the help of Jack Bauer and Chloe O’Brian. Meanwhile, Marge attempts to make the perfect cake for the school bake sale.screen-shot-2012-11-27-at-1-31-02-pm18.22) YOU KENT ALWAYS SAY WHAT YOU WANT

Thanks to Ned Flanders’ meddling, Kent Brockman gets in trouble for blurting a horrible curse word during a soft-news interview about Homer winning Phineas Q. Butterfat’s 1,000,000th ice cream cone, and gets fired for allegedly being a cocaine addict. While living with the Simpsons, Brockman teams up with Lisa to create a YouTube video revealing why a politically conservative media empire like Fox would create raunchy television shows.DGERTGERERTWhatever people feel about the Simpsons later years, there’s still some great episodes here.

REVIEW: THE GOONIES

 CAST

Sean Astin (Lord of The Rings)
Corey Feldman (The Lost Boys)
Jeff Cohen (Perfect Harmony)
Josh Brolin (Jonah Hex)
Jonathan Ke Quan (The The Temple of Doom)
Kerri Green (Bellyfruit)
Martha Plimpton (Dante’s Inferno)
Anne Ramsey (From Noon Till Three)
Joe Pantoliano (The Matrix)
Robert Davi (Predator 2)
Mary Ellen Trainor (Roswell)
Lupe Ontiveros (Picking Up The Pieces)

Facing foreclosure of their homes in the Goon Docks area of Astoria, Oregon to an expanding country club, a group of children who call themselves “the Goonies”, gather for a final weekend together. The Goonies include optimist Mikey Walsh, his older brother, Brand, the inventive Data, the talkative Mouth, and the overweight klutz Chunk. While rummaging through the Walshes’ attic, they come across a 1632 doubloon and an old treasure map purporting to lead to the famous pirate “One-Eyed” Willy’s hoard located nearby. Evading Brand for one last adventure together, the kids find themselves at a derelict restaurant near the coast, which coincides with the doubloon and the map. They encounter the Fratellis, a family of criminals hiding out at the restaurant. Evading detection by returning outside, the kids run into Brand and two girls: the popular cheerleader Andy, who has a mutual crush on Brand, and Stef, Andy’s nerdy, tough-talking best friend.Mikey convinces Brand to return to the restaurant to explore after the Fratellis leave, discovering that the criminals are running a counterfeiting operation. As the Fratellis return, the group finds a tunnel beneath the restaurant and hides in there, sending Chunk to notify the authorities. They explore the tunnel and find the remains of a previous explorer, who also searched for the treasure, and Mikey is sure they are on the right trail. Evading various booby traps, set up by Willy, they find themselves under an old wishing well. The kids have a chance to be pulled out of the tunnel by Andy’s obnoxious boyfriend Troy, whose family owns the country club, but Mikey convinces the group to continue on their journey. Meanwhile, Chunk, who has escaped the restaurant, tries to flag down several passing cars, but is intercepted and kidnapped by Jake and Francis Fratelli. When the Fratellis threaten to shred his hands with an active blender, a terrified Chunk reveals not only where his friends are, but also the existence of the treasure. The Fratellis tie Chunk to a chair and lock him in the basement next to Sloth, their deformed younger brother kept chained to the wall. While the Fratellis pursue both the Goonies and the treasure, Chunk befriends Sloth, and Sloth is able to break their bonds; they form a third party headed into the tunnel.Mikey and the others discover the Fratellis on their trail, and hasten through the remaining traps. They ultimately find an enclosed grotto and Willy’s pirate ship, the Inferno, which has been sealed in the cave for centuries. They explore the ship, finding a hoard of treasure in front of the skeletal remains of Willy and his crew. Mikey gives a sober speech to Willy, naming him as the first “Goonie”, then he and the others fill their pockets with riches; Mikey insists that the coins directly in front of Willy remain untouched, as Willy’s tribute. As they leave, however, the Fratellis have already caught up with them. They make them drop the treasure before threatening to kill them by forcing them to walk the plank, when suddenly Sloth and Chunk arrive. Sloth, angered by how the other Fratellis have treated him in the past, easily subdues them and helps the rest of the Goonies to escape the boat. Though Mikey insists they go back for the treasure, Brand worries more for their lives, and the group escapes through a hole in the grotto, eventually arriving on a nearby beach shore. Police quickly come to their help and reunite them with their families.Meanwhile, the Fratellis free themselves and begin to loot the boat. When they take the coins that Mikey had left earlier, they trigger another booby trap that causes the grotto to start to cave in. The Fratellis are forced to abandon the loot and flee to the beach, where police quickly take them into custody. As the Goonies are taken care of by their families, including Chunk offering to bring Sloth into his family, the owners of the country club show up and demand that Mr. Walsh sign away their homes and the Goon Docks. As he is about to do so, their housekeeper, Rosalita, finds Mikey’s marble bag in his wet clothes, filled with gems that the Fratellis had neglected to confiscate. Mr. Walsh triumphantly tears up the paperwork, as the gems are more than enough to negate the foreclosure. As the Goonies celebrate, the attention of all on the beach is caught by the sight of the unmanned Inferno, now clear of the grotto, and the Goonies wave her goodbye as she sets off once more upon the sea.Classic fun film for the 80s adventurer in all of us

REVIEW: A BETTER WAY TO DIE

CAST

Scott Wiper (Pearl Harbor)
Lou Diamond Phillips (Stargate Universe)
Jack Conley (Angel)
Joe Pantoliano (The Matrix)
Natasha Henstridge (Species)
Carmen Argenziano (Stargate SG.1)
Andre Braugher (Glory)

5A Better Way to Die starts in Chicago where a cop named Boomer (writer& director Scott Wiper) witnesses the murder of his partner Carlos (Carmen Argenziano) during an undercover operation, he decides to leave both Chicago & the force & head out to the sticks to be with Kelly (Natasha Henstridge) the woman he loves. En route he finds himself dodging bullets & fighting for his life when he is mistaken for special agent Harrison James (Jefferson Moore) who the mob wants because of a computer chip with informant information on it & the Government wants him because of, well a computer chip with informant information on it. Seemingly everyone wants him dead as he tries to work out a solution to the situation he finds himself in.

4
Staring, written & directed by Scott Wiper this wasn’t anywhere near as bad as I was fearing, in fact I’d go as far as to say it’s a fun little action flick without ever being spectacular. The somewhat predictable & often routine action thriller script doesn’t take itself too seriously& is fairly light hearted in tone, the character’s are decent & the dialogue is alright even though it resorts to constant use of profanity& bad language on occasion. It moves along at a brisk pace & is never boring although the action scenes are somewhat repetitive & are a little low key, don’t expect car chases & explosions every five minutes because you will be disappointed if you do. My main problem with A Better Way to Die is that every time it starts to get good the pace slackens & it never quite reaches the dizzy heights of greatness, every time it starts to get good the scene just fizzles out into nothing. The fight in the burning barn at the end & the shoot-outs are average action sequences rather than great ones & as a consequence A Better Way to Die is a touch forgettable, it’s a good solid film which you can sit down in front of if it’s on TV for free & waste 100 odd minutes in it’s company happily enough but by the next morning you’ll probably have forgotten all about it.

3

Director Wiper does a fine job here, it looks pretty nice & although the action scenes are distinctly average they are well shot & choreographed. Technically the film is fine, it looks nice enough with decent cinematography & production values. The action sequences could have used beefing up a bit, I mean one blown up car & a blown up shed isn’t much to get that excited about. The acting is fine, although there are some fairly experienced names in the cast the likes of Lou Diamond Phillips, Natasha Henstridge & Joe Pantoliano they have very little screen time & are more cameo appearances than anything else.

2

A Better Way to Die is a decent little action film, it’s light hearted& has decent character’s & an OK story but it didn’t quite reach the heights of greatness for me I’m afraid. It’s also rather predictable at times & nothing that we haven’t seen before. If you can catch it on TV for free then go ahead but don’t spend good money on it. Good but not great.