REVIEW: PARANOID

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CAST

Jessica Alba (Dark Angel)
Iain Glen (Game of Thrones)
Jeanne Tripplehorn (The Firm)
Ewen Bremner (Trainspotting)
Mischa Barton (The Assassiantion)
Kevin Whately (Lewis)
Gina Bellman (Coupling)

75448-paranoid-sky-picturesThe film begins at a fashion show, where Chloe Keene (Jessica Alba) takes the catwalk. She returns home to her boyfriend Toby (Oliver Milburn) and tells him what a great time she had in New York. The phone rings, but no one is on the other end, and she tells her friend she will change her number. After this, she goes to a shoot, where she meets her other boyfriend, Ned (Gary Love), who offers to take her out to a reunion of his former band. She goes home, and lies to Toby that she will be visiting someone in Brighton. Chloe falls asleep in the car due to pills she has taken, and wakes up when she arrives at the reunion. She gets a phonecall from a stalker with a strange voice, a different one to the one that called earlier. At the reunion, she meets Stan (Iain Glen), his wife Rachel (Jeanne Tripplehorn), his deaf daughter Theresa (Mischa Barton), and his brother Gordon (Ewen Bremner), who films the party. While they are having lunch, Ned’s wife Eve (Gina Bellman) arrives, and is rude to her, causing her to cut her hand on a glass. Eve tells her that she wants her to bleed to death,hqdefaultChloe goes outside, and later on, Stan comes to find her. He tells her that everyone else has gone, but she can stay the night. While she is in the bath, Rachel enters and asks her what she thinks during photoshoots. Chloe tells her that she just pretends during them. When she gets out of the bath, she finds that Graham has put the handcuffs Ned gave her on the bed. She goes to bed, and hears a noise outside. When she goes to investigate, Stan takes her back into the bedroom and drugs her, so she falls asleep. She wakes up again, and calls her friend, who hangs up on her. She decides to go downstairs, and sees Gordon watching the tapes of earlier in the evening. When he goes to bed, she snatches one and starts to watch it, seeing herself being sexually assaulted. Someone attempts to open the door, so she escapes through the window and gets outside, where she faints after seeing Stan in the car.jessica-alba-bildergalerie-327818-1999pranoidShe wakes up in the basement, where Stan handcuffs her to the bed. Meanwhile, her silent stalker Clive (Kevin Whateley) is still phoning her up. Using her barefeet to pick up the phone, Chloe answers, and tells him she is trapped in the house that used to be a hotel. Theresa finds the tapes somewhere, and makes a poster to hand in to the police about Chloe, but they just laugh. Rachel finds the phone, and the group decide to hide it in the shed. Clive decides to make his way to the house, and Rachel gets rid of him. He phones Chloe and hears the phone in the shed, ringing, so decides to call the police. Inside, Theresa finds Chloe, but is unable to undo the cuffs. Ned arrives and tells Chloe they will need to make a tape of her enjoying herself, in case she tells the police what they have done. Stan tells Gordon that they need to kill Chloe, and they bundle her into a car. Unknown to them, they are followed by Clive. Ned tells Rachel that if they go through with their plan, they will be accessories to murder. Upstairs, Theresa breaks the window with a chair, and escapes down the side of the house, just as the police arrive. Ned gets her into the police car, and tells them to get out of there.paranoid-48-stunden-in-seiner-gewalt-jessica-alba-2-rcm408x408uStan and Gordon arrive at their destination and Clive sees them. Stan distracts Clive, as Gordon tries to cover up Chloe’s noise. When Stan threatens him, Clive attempts to run him over, narrowly missing. He then begins chasing Gordon around in a circle, as the police arrive, and arrest Stan. Back at home, Clive gets some dinner from his wife, and looks out of his window to see Chloe getting back home. She calls Toby, who is playing the saxophone. After she hangs up, he reveals himself to be her other stalkeuntitledI thought this movie wasn’t extremely bad. It did run a little long..but maintaining your interest for about the middle 3o mins and a slighty good ending which left you with the feeling that the movie was semi-good. A decent enough thriller worth a watch if your a fan of Jessica Alba.

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REVIEW: AWAKE

CAST

Hayden Christensen (Jumper)
Jessica Alba (Machete)
Terrence Howard (Iron Man)
Lena Olin (Alias)
Christopher McDonald (Fanboys)
Sam Roberds (A.I)
Fisher Stevens (Short Circuit)
Georgina Chapman (Match Point)
David Harbour (Suicide Squad)

Young billionaire Clay Beresford (Hayden Christensen) is in love with Samantha “Sam” Lockwood (Jessica Alba), his mother’s personal assistant. Clay requires a heart transplant. Dr. Jack Harper (Terrence Howard) is Clay’s heart surgeon and friend. Clay asks Dr. Harper to arrange his elopement with Sam. They marry privately at midnight, then Clay goes to the hospital for the operation. While Clay’s mother, Lilith (Lena Olin), await completion of his surgery, Clay encounters anesthesia awareness.The surgical pain causes Clay to have a clairvoyant experience exposing Dr. Harper’s plot to murder Clay, also revealing that Sam worked at the hospital under Dr. Harper and has conspired with him against Clay. Sam’s plan was to poison the donor heart (by injecting Adriamycin) to cause its rejection, thus murdering Clay to collect insurance money to pay off Dr. Harper’s malpractice lawsuits. The scheme unravels and Lilith, realizing what has happened, sacrifices herself so that Clay, who is close to death, can live. She commits suicide so her heart can be switched for the poisoned one, and save Clay. Though Sam tries to get away with what she did, Dr. Harper feels guilty and he holds onto proof so she can be charged too. Another surgical team takes over the operation, as Clay barely clings to life and as the conspirators are running away. The new team takes Lilith’s heart and transplant’s it into Clay’s body, as Clay and Lilith have their final moments together in spirit (out of body experience). The new head surgeon announces that Clay has come back to life, as the new team stitch Clay’s wound. Clay, in spirit, is still in the afterlife with Lilith, tries to commit suicide to stay with his mother. Clay makes his new heart stop beating and the surgeons have to use the defibrillator in attempt to revive Clay. As Clay resists being revived, Lilith forces Clay (in the “afterlife-world”) to revisit a scene from his childhood, when Lilith accidentally killed Clay’s abusive father. This scene reveals the truth for Clay and connects his childhood flashbacks. After seeing this scene, Clay gives away to revival, and before the surgeons could shock his body again, Clay allows his new heart to begin beating. As Harper narrates his thoughts ending with “He is awake”, in the operating room, the surgeons finally remove the eye tapes and Clay opens his eyes.Awake has a simple but effective story. The cast is excellent, leaded by the still gorgeous Lena Olin, Terrence Howard, Jessica Alba and Hayden Christensen. The plot point was a great surprise for me and I really like this original movie.

REVIEW: THE KILLER INSIDE ME

CAST

Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)
Jessica Alba (Machete)
Kate Hudson (Gossip)
Ned Beatty (Superman)
Tom Bower (Beverly Hills Cop 3)
Elias Koteas (Crash)
Simon Baker (The Mentalist)
Bill Pullman (Spaceballs)
Brent Briscoe (The Grind)
Matthew Maher (Vulgar)
Noah Crawford (My Name Is Earl)

In 1952, Deputy Sheriff Lou Ford (Casey Affleck) is a pillar of the community in his small west Texas town — patient, dependable, and well-liked. However, he is a sociopath with violent sexual tastes. As a teenager, Lou was caught raping a five-year-old girl by his adopted brother Mike, who pleaded guilty to the crime and served prison time to protect Lou. After being released, Mike was hired by the construction firm of Chester Conway (Ned Beatty). Mike died on the job after slipping and falling off a beam. Lou believes that Conway staged the “accident”.At the request of Sheriff Bob Maples (Tom Bower), Lou visits Joyce Lakeland (Jessica Alba), a prostitute who is having an affair with Conway’s son, Elmer (Jay R. Ferguson). When Joyce objects to Lou’s treatment of her, he violently beats and spanks her until her buttocks are bruised. Joyce enjoys pain, and she and Lou begin a passionate love affair. Joyce suggests that Lou would never leave town with her, but they devise a plot to extort $10,000 from the Conways. Sheriff Maples and Chester Conway ask Lou to oversee the pay-off. But Lou has other plans: he brutally beats Joyce to the point he believes her to be dead, and when Elmer arrives, Lou shoots and kills him. He then plants the gun on Joyce, hoping to make the scene look like the two have killed each other, however Joyce survives the ordeal. Then Conway announces his intention to see her executed for killing Elmer.Lou’s reputation begins to falter: his girlfriend and fiancee Amy (Kate Hudson) suspects him of infidelity, and the county district attorney Howard Hendricks (Simon Baker), who has arrived in town to investigate the murders, suspects that Lou could be the killer. Lou accompanies Sheriff Maples and Conway in taking Joyce to the hospital in Fort Worth; Conway wants her alive so he can interrogate her. Lou waits in a hotel room while the surgery takes place. Maples tells him that Joyce died on the operating table. Lou and Maples return to west Texas. Back at his home, Lou discovers explicit photographs of a woman inside a Bible. The woman was Helene, a housekeeper and babysitter from his youth who bears a resemblance to Joyce. Lou recalls that Helene introduced him to sadomasochism, urging him to strike her. Lou burns the photos.imagesHendricks arrests Johnnie Pappas (Liam Aiken), a local youth whom Lou had previously befriended as a suspect in the murders of Elmer and Joyce. He was found with one of the $20 bills that Elmer was supposed to give to Joyce in the pay-off; Conway had the bills marked in order to blackmail Joyce if she didn’t leave town. Because Lou is close to Johnnie, Hendricks asks Lou to persuade him to confess, but it was Lou himself who had given Johnnie the marked $20 bill as a tip. In the prison cell Lou confesses to Johnnie that he was the one responsible. When they are alone in his cell, Lou hangs Johnnie to make it appear as a though he committed suicide out of guiltimagesJohnnie’s death only makes the town more suspicious of Lou. Journalist and union organizer Joe Rothman (Elias Koteas), who had previously suggested that Conway had Lou’s foster brother Mike killed, implies that he knows that Lou killed Elmer and Joyce. Lou coaxes Amy to elope with him as he proposes to her. To sate Lou’s violent predilections, she acquiesces to his desire to spank her. An alcoholic bum (Brent Briscoe), whom Lou had previously burnt with a cigar, has been trailing Lou and knows that he was responsible for the murders of Elmer and Joyce. He demands $5,000 to keep quiet, to which Lou agrees. On the day which Lou and Amy had planned to elope, Lou beats Amy to death, and when the bum sees her body, he runs for help. Lou chases the bum, shouting that he has murdered Amy. Another deputy, Jeff Plummer (Matthew Maher) opens fire on the bum, and shoots him dead.the_killer_inside_me07The next morning Plummer informs Lou of Sheriff Maples suicide, convinced of Lou’s guilt and heartbroken over his crimes. Hendricks and Plummer try to get a confession from Lou, who cockily refuses. They have a letter that Amy intended to give to him before they eloped, in which Amy begs him to come clean. Lou is arrested, and after a week in prison is sent to an insane asylum. While there, he suffers hallucinations of Amy and Helene. After a few weeks, a slick lawyer named Billy Boy Walker (Bill Pullman) has him released and drives him home. Walker has been hired by Joe Rothman to protect the union man. Lou tells Walker his whole story and concludes that he doesn’t want anyone else to die. Lost in his violent fantasies, Lou douses his home in gasoline and alcohol, arms himself with a knife, and sits in his study to await retribution. As police vehicles and armed policemen arrive, Lou sees a car pull up with Hendricks, Conway, Plummer and the still-alive Joyce. As Joyce tells Lou that she refused to cooperate with the authorities, Lou tells her he loves her, then stabs her in the stomach. Plummer opens fire, hitting both Joyce and Lou and igniting the gasoline in the house. Outside, the approaching policemen see the house engulfed in a huge fireball, which it appears Lou has ignited to kill himself.371266752_640The film has an almost art house feel to it and this is reflected in both Affleck’s unsettling performance and the story itself. You are asked to make some of the conclusions yourself and decide who you think is right or wrong. Ford is charismatic enough that you sometimes like him even though he is evil. This is an impressive thing to pull off and Affleck and Winterbottom should be proud. A dark and powerful film that will not appeal to everyone.

REVIEW: MACHETE KILLS

CAST

Danny Trejo (Bullet)
Michelle Rodriguez (Resident Evil)
Mel Gibson (Mad Max)
Sofia Vergara (The Smurfs)
Amber Heard (Aquaman)
Demián Bichir (Solo)
Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men)
Walton Goggins (American Ultra)
Cuba Gooding Jr.(Jerry Maguire)
Lady Gaga (Sin City 2)
Antonio Banderas (The Mask of Zorro)
Jessica Alba (Dark Angel)
Vanessa Hudgens (Powerless)
Alexa Vega (Spy Kids)
William Sadler (Iron Man 3)
Electra and Elise Avellan (Death Proof)

Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) and Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) attempt to capture weapon dealers who have been supplying the Mexican drug cartels. The military men are then all killed by the gangsters, who in turn are wiped out by another intervening party. Its leader murders Sartana while Machete is arrested by corrupt Sheriff Doakes (William Sadler) and Deputy Clebourne (Samuel Davis). Doakes unsuccessfully tries to hang Machete but the President of the US, Rathcock (Charlie Sheen), intervenes. Machete is brought to the White House, where the president offers him US citizenship if he eliminates Marcos Mendez (Demián Bichir), a psychopath who is threatening to fire a nuclear missile at Washington, D.C. if the American government does not intervene to stop the rampant drug cartels in Mexico and the corruption of its government.Machete agrees and travels to San Antonio, where he meets his handler Blanca Vasquez (Amber Heard), an undercover beauty pageant competitor. She sends him to Acapulco to meet a young woman, Cereza (Vanessa Hudgens), who can lead him to Mendez. Machete finds her in a brothel run by her mother, Madame Desdemona (Sofía Vergara), who attempts to kill Machete before he escapes with Cereza. She takes him to Mendez’s associate, Zaror (Marko Zaror), who kills Cereza before taking Machete to Mendez’s base of operations.There, Machete learns that Mendez has wired the missile’s launch device to his heart and triggered its launch in 24 hours. If he dies, the missile fires. After killing Zaror he captures Mendez, intending to escort him to US and find a way to disarm the missile. Machete learns that Mendez is an ex-secret agent who tried to expose his corrupt superiors, only to be betrayed and forced to watch his family being tortured. The trauma drove him insane, creating his split personalities and leading him to join forces with the missile’s creator.Shortly thereafter, a hit is put out on them. Machete is targeted by Madame Desdemona and her prostitute assassins, including a shapeshifting hitman called El Camaleón (Lady Gaga), as well as Doakes. Machete and Mendez manage to reach the US and kill Doakes and Clebourne only to be caught by a reborn Zaror and the same mercenaries who killed Sartana. Zaror decapitates Mendez and Machete is riddled with bullets.Machete wakes up to find himself in a healing tank. He is taken to meet Zaror’s benefactor—corrupt businessman, inventor and Star Wars fan Luther Voz (Mel Gibson). He shows Machete Mendez’s beating heart, preserved in a jar, and informs him of his plan to manipulate extremists throughout the world to detonate nuclear weapons while planning to escape in a spaceship to rebuild society in space. Machete then escapes with help from Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who had heard about the hit on Machete. She informs him that the only one who can disarm Mendez’s heart is Machete’s old enemy, Osiris Amanpour (Tom Savini). Machete contacts Vasquez, who instructs him to meet her at a rendezvous point.Arriving there, Machete is betrayed and ambushed by Vasquez, who is in league with Voz. As she is escaping into the desert, Machete gives chase and jumps onto the top of her vehicle but falls off after gunfire comes through the roof. Machete is then given a ride by El Camaleón, who tries to kill him one last time. But he escapes and El Camaleón ends up being shot to death by a group of racist rednecks just inside the US border. Machete then reunites with Luz and her group, the Network. They infiltrate a fundraiser at Voz’s base of operations, where Voz kills Osiris. Machete realizes Voz was the one who killed Sartana and fights him. He severely burns Voz’s face, disfiguring him to the extent that Voz is forced to wear a metallic, silver mask. Meanwhile, Vasquez shoots Luz in her good eye, completely blinding her. Luz kills Vasquez in return but is captured by Voz, frozen in Carbonite and taken aboard his ship.Machete jumps on the missile as it launches and disarms it in mid-air, while Voz boards the ship and departs with the Zaror clones, his supporters, as well as Luz. The disarmed missile then plunges into the Rio Grande and Machete is rescued by President Rathcock, who asks him to follow Voz into space and kill him. Machete agrees and uses a SpaceX Falcon 9 v1.0 rocket to depart to Voz’s Station in Earth’s orbit, where he is given a laser machete to start his mission.If you saw the first one, you pretty much know what to expect and what the basic concept is. Just times that times ten and you have Machete Kills. It is just a movie where you sit and don’t think about it. Let it all happen and enjoy it. That is, of course, you like action movies where the hero chops every bad guy up and Sofia Vergara with her bra machine gun.

REVIEW: MACHETE

CAST

Danny Trejo (Bullet)
Robert De Niro (Joy)
Jessica Alba (Sin City)
Steven Segal (Marked For Death)
Michelle Rodriguez (Resident Evil)
Jeff Fahey (Planet Terror)
Cheech Marin (Cars)
Don Johnson (Born Yesterday)
Lindsay Lohan (Mean Girls)
Shea Whigham (Agent Carter)
Daryl Sabara (John Carter)
Ara Celi (All My children)
Electra and Elise Avellan (Death Proof)

Mexico: Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo), a former Mexican Federal and his younger partner are on a mission to rescue a kidnapped girl (Mayra J. Leal). During the operation, his partner is killed, the kidnapped girl stabs him before being killed herself, and Machete is betrayed by his corrupt Chief to the powerful drug lord, Rogelio Torrez (Steven Seagal), who kills Machete’s wife and implies that he will kill his daughter before leaving him for dead.Three years later, a down-and-out Machete roams Texas, scraping by on yard work. Michael Booth (Jeff Fahey), a local businessman and spin doctor, explains to Machete that corrupt Texas State Senator John McLaughlin (Robert De Niro) is sending hundreds of illegal immigrants out of the country. In order to stop this, Booth offers Machete $150,000 to kill McLaughlin. Machete accepts the murder contract after Booth threatens to kill him if he does not.Machete trains a rifle on McLaughlin from a rooftop during a rally, but before he fires he sees one of Booth’s henchmen aiming at him. The henchman shoots Machete in the shoulder, the latter then shoots McLaughlin in the leg. It is revealed that Booth orchestrated the attempted assassination as part of a false flag operation to gain public support for McLaughlin’s secure border campaign. By setting up Machete as the gunman, the conspirators make it appear that an outlaw illegal Mexican immigrant has tried to assassinate the senator, who is known for his tough stance on illegal immigration.An injured Machete escapes capture by Booth and is taken to a hospital to be treated for wounds, escaping once again from Booth’s henchmen at the hospital. Agent Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba), a persistent U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent, is sent by her superior to find and capture the injured Machete. Machete, with the help of Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), aka Shé, the leader of an illegal immigrant aid movement known as the Network, recruits Padre (Cheech Marin), his “holy” brother. To take revenge on Booth, Machete kidnaps Booth’s wife and his daughter, April (Lindsay Lohan), after “starring” in an amateur adult film with them. He also collects evidence from Booth’s house linking McLaughlin and the Mexican drug lord in a major drug trafficking deal. After encountering Machete, Sartana begins to develop an interest in him. Elsewhere, Booth, who is revealed to be working for Torrez, hires a hitman, Osiris Amanpour (Tom Savini), to assist in the hunt for Machete.Booth and Osiris kill Padre in his church by nailing him to a cross, but do not find his own wife and daughter. Unbeknownst to Booth, the church has cameras. Through the CCTV recordings, the news of McLaughlin’s corruption and faked assassination is eventually aired on national television. Infuriated, McLaughlin kills Booth and heads back to join Torrez to kill Machete. In order to eliminate the people who double-crossed him, Machete gathers the Mexican Network and leads them to the base of the border vigilantes, led by Von Jackson (Don Johnson). During this confrontation, the Mexican illegals triumph over the border vigilantes. Jackson tries to escape, but Luz shoots him in the back of the head. Machete fights Torrez and stabs him. April shows up wearing a nun’s habit after escaping from the church and shoots McLaughlin after figuring out that he has killed her father.McLaughlin, injured, manages to escape, but he is later killed by the last remnants of his own border vigilante group, who mistake him for a Mexican. Ultimately, Machete meets with Sartana, who gives him a green card. They kiss and ride off into the night. The closing credits announce further adventures for Machete.Machete is a funny action movie and a film that Danny Trejo perfectly fits into. The story follows the style of B- movies, with exploitation and ultra-violence, but has a cast that is a constellation of stars. A must see.

REVIEW: MECHANIC: RESURRECTION


CAST

Jason Statham (The Bank Job)
Jessica Alba (Dark Angel)
Tommy Lee Jones (Batman Forever)
Michelle Yeoh (Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon)
Sam Hazeldine (The Raven)

After faking his death, Arthur Bishop has been living quietly in Rio de Janeiro with the name Santos. He is approached by Renee Tran, who knows of his true identity and explains her employer wishes for Bishop to kill three targets and stage them as accidents. Seeing her mercenaries waiting nearby, Bishop makes his escape, and flees the country to Thailand. He takes shelter at a resort island beach house of his friend, Mae, and learns that Tran is working for Riah Crain. Bishop and Crain were orphans that grew up together, but later sold to a gangster and trained as warriors. Bishop made his escape and left Crain behind.Sometime later, a bruised woman, Gina Thorne, approaches Mae for first aid before returning to a boat anchored nearby. Mae observes Thorne being beaten by a man aboard the boat and alerts Bishop. Bishop and Mae rescue Thorne from the man, but in the scuffle, the man hits his head on the boat’s equipment and dies. Finding no evidence of his identity, Bishop sets the boat ablaze. While Mae tends to Thorne’s injuries, Bishop finds that Thorne is also connected to Crain, and believes Crain anticipated Bishop would become romantic with her; Crain would then have kidnapped her to make Bishop take the assassination jobs. When he charges Thorne with his theory, she reveals that Crain threatened the children’s shelter in Cambodia that she worked at unless she participated. Over the next few days, Bishop does get to know Thorne better and falls in love, but as expected, Crain’s mercenaries soon arrive and abduct the two.Thorne is taken to Crain’s private boat, while Bishop is brought to Crain himself, where he coerces him to take the assassination jobs with Thorne’s life, providing him with the necessary resources to complete them. The first target of Bishop is a warlord named Krill, who is incarcerated in a Malaysian prison. Bishop travels to Malaysia and gets himself imprisoned to access Krill. Bishop gains Krill’s trust by killing a man already planning on killing Krill. Bishop meets with Krill and kills him and Bishop escapes the prison with the help of Crain’s operatives. The next target is Adrian Cook, who runs an underage trafficking ring from Sydney. Bishop manages to bypass the tight security of Cook’s penthouse apartment and break the glass bottom of Cook’s overhanging pool, plummeting him to his death.While relaying details of the third target, Crain allows Bishop to speak over video to Thorne, who has arranged her setting to allow Bishop to identify the registration number of Crain’s boat. Bishop locates the boat and attempts to rescue her, but Crain has caught Thorne’s attempt in time and his mercenaries quickly stop the attempt. For his insolence, Crain demands Bishop complete the final assassination in 24 hours, identifying the target as Max Adams, an American arms dealer. While planning the attempt, Bishop recognizes that Crain’s targets were his only other major competition in arms dealing. Bishop instead approaches Adams and warns him of Crain’s plan, and gets Adams to help. Bishop fakes Adams’ death, and reports his success to Crain, who directs him to a meeting point.There, Bishop fends off attacks by Crain’s mercenaries and makes for Crain’s boat parked nearby. He fights off more of Crain’s men and discovers the boat is rigged with explosives before rescuing Thorne, placing her in an underwater escape pod. Crain stops him before he can escape, and the two fight. Bishop overpowers him and secures him to the boat, when Crain reveals the explosives are set to go off soon. Instead of diving overboard, Bishop races into the boat, moments before the bombs explode, killing Crain and apparently Bishop. Thorne is rescued and the remains of Crain’s boat are salvaged with no other signs of life. Adams watches the operation from afar, and sees that one of the salvaged pieces was the anchor compartment, and monitors video to see Bishop emerge from the compartment several hours later, and then deletes the video to keep Bishop’s status secret. Thorne returns to Cambodia and her teaching duties, but later is surprised when Bishop arrives a few days later.This film knows exactly what it wants to be and nails it, despite this film being essentially a B-movie the cast are well known and act well Statham does what he does in every film, Jessica Alba is good as the love interest she has some cool fight scenes and you can’t go wrong with her being in a bikini and lastly Tommy Lee Jones is in this for about 15 minutes as one of Statham’s targets and plays a sarcastic wise-guy. So yeah this film is well worth a watch especially if you are a fan of action movies

REVIEW: ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH

CAST

Rob Corddry (Old School)
Brendan Fraser (The Mummy)
Sarah Jessica Parker (Ed Wood)
William Shatner (Free Enterprise)
Jessica Alba (Machete)
Craig Robinson (Pineapple Express)
George Lopez (The Smurfs 2)
Jane Lynch (Glee)
Sofia Vergara (Machete Kills)
Jonathan Morgan Heit (Valentine’s Day)
Ricky Gervais (Ghost Town)
Steve Zahn (Roadkill)
Chris Parnell (Archer)
Kaitlin Olson (Finding Dory)
Daran Norris (Veronica Mars)

The film opens with Scorch Supernova (Brendan Fraser), an alien on a mission to rescue captured babies from the Gnarlachs. He rescues them just in time before the Gnarlachs wake up. Scorch then returns to Planet Baab where he is known as a famous hero and a love interest for anchorwoman Gabby Babblebrook (Sofía Vergara) while at BASA his brother Gary (Rob Corddry) works. Gary’s son Kip (Jonathan Morgan Heit) is a big fan of his uncle Scorch. Soon, Gary receives a message from Lena Thackleman (Jessica Alba), the head of BASA, that Scorch will be sent to the “Dark Planet” (Earth) due to a SOS call. Scorch decides to go on the mission to the Dark Planet, but Gary strongly insists that he doesn’t go because he is not serious. Also, no alien has ever returned from the dark planet. After further arguing, Gary finally says that he won’t be helping Scorch and quits BASA before Scorch himself fires him. Gary then goes home to his wife Kira (Sarah Jessica Parker) and Kip only to find out that Scorch has already gone on the mission to the Dark Planet, while Kip is watching it on live TV in excitement.
Scorch arrives on Earth and lands in the desert and finds a 7-Eleven convenience store but mistakes an airdancer for a dying being. Scorch is then tranquilized and captured by General Shanker Saunderson (William Shatner), the malevolent general of the US Army, and is taken to “Area 51” where aliens from other planets are held. After finding that this has happened, Kip wants to go rescue Scorch but Gary discourages him and he himself doesn’t want to go. Kip is angry and goes to his room. Gary goes to Kip’s room to apologize and admit that he is sorry about Scorch. When Gary flips Kip’s blanket open, instead of seeing Kip, he sees his dog and that Kip’s window is open. Knowing that Kip is going to try and save Scorch, he rushes to BASA with Kira wearing his rocket boots. They arrive to find that Kip is about to take off in a ship.
Gary manages to cancel the launch sequence, but he re-activates the sequence so Gary himself can rescue Scorch. He soon arrives on the Dark Planet. As soon as he arrives his ship immediately activates a self-destruct sequence, but Gary manages to get out. He then arrives at the same store that Scorch arrived at earlier. Gary goes inside there, but is spotted by two owners inside named Hawk (Steve Zahn) and Hammer (Chris Parnell). Both Gary and the two men get freaked out by each other and try to hide from each other. After the owners realize that Gary is not a hostile alien, they offer him a Slurpee. Gary takes it but drinks it too fast and gets brain freeze. Afterwards, Shanker’s men break into the store and capture Gary, taking him to Area 51.

Gary is then taken to Shanker’s office where he is quickly removed after Shanker receives an incoming call. It is then revealed that Lena is an ally of Shanker’s as she has sent him a powerful source known as blubonium and is in love with him as he puts on an Elvis Presley-like wig when contacting her. Gary is placed in a cell hall with other alien geniuses named Doc (Craig Robinson), Io (Jane Lynch), and Thurman (George Lopez) who tell Gary that various human technology has been invented by them for Shanker to rip off and sell to all of Earth so he will release them from Area 51. With these technologies made by the aliens, Shanker had made deals with companies like Apple Inc., Facebook, Google, and Pixar to distribute the technologies to them. Gary reunites with his brother, but is again annoyed by his conceited behavior. After a food fight in the cafeteria, the aliens make their way to “the peace shield.” Meanwhile, Lena captures Kira, who stayed at BASA to try to contact Gary in concern for his safety. Lena then reveals her plan to give a lifetime supply of blubonium to Shanker.
After Shanker reveals the blubonium, Gary unintentionally provokes Scorch into stealing it after stating its dangerous power and when being chased, Scorch destroys the blubonium, causing Shanker to freeze him. He orders Gary to fix the blubonium and reveals that he’s going to destroy all of the alien planets with a laser ray using the blubonium. Shanker says that all aliens are hostile just because a grey alien spaceship (accidentally) killed his dad in 1947. Gary fixes the ray with help from his new friends, but Shanker goes back on his promise to release him and instead freezes him like his brother. The other aliens discover Shanker’s true intentions when he tries to destroy Baab with the laser ray and mutiny, knocking out Shanker’s henchmen. However, it is revealed that Gary did not put the machine together fully and it malfunctions, destroying itself before it can destroy Baab. With Gary and Scorch released from their icy prisons by the machine alongside the other frozen aliens, the brothers, Doc, Thurman, and Io escape Area 51 and eventually find Scorch’s ship in a trailer park. With help from Hawk and Hammer (who live together in the park), Gary and his friends get into the spaceship and take off after helping to narrow its location down with a tornado scare.
Meanwhile, back on Baab, Kip frees his mother, who stops and subdues Lena after the latter took off with the blubonium shipment (and in the midst of the battle, learns Shanker was using her). US Air Force jets chases Gary’s saucer, but Kip guides his father through and manages to destroy the jets by making the spaceship pull up suddenly over a waterfall while the jets ram into it. However, Shanker (wearing Scorch’s robotic suit that he wears on his adventures) uses a tractor beam to stop the ship, and freeze it in midair. Gary and Scorch jumps on and manages to get the suit off from Shanker which causes him to fall to his death. Suddenly, Scorch and Gary begin to plummet to their dooms but they and Shanker are rescued by the captured grey aliens (the ones who accidentally killed Shanker’s dad) who have their own plans to deal with Shanker.
Scorch, Gary, Doc, Thurman and Io return to Planet Baab where Gary is reunited with his family. Scorch is greeted as a hero, but gives the credit to his brother which the citizens of Baab celebrate. Scorch then embarks on his toughest mission yet: marrying Gabby Babblebrook. Hawk, Hammer, and the grey aliens are also present at the wedding as the airdancer is also patched up.The movie has a pretty good story line. Not a great movie, but not bad either. Good movie to see on a rainy weekend or day off of school.