REVIEW: LESSONS IN LOVE

CAST

Pierce Brosnan (The World’s End)
Salma Hayek (Dogma)
Jessica Alba (The Killer Inside me)
Malcolm McDowell (Halloween)
Duncan Joiner (Waco)
Ben McKenzie (Gotham)
Merrin Dungey (Alias)
Marlee Matlin (My Name Is Earl)
Lee Garlington (Dante’s Peak)

By day, Richard Haig (Pierce Brosnan) is a successful and well-respected English professor in the UK. By night, Richard indulges his own romantic fantasies with a steady stream of beautiful undergraduates. So when Kate (Jessica Alba), Richard’s stunning, athletic, 25-year-old American girlfriend tells him that she is pregnant, Richard is shocked. Putting his wandering eye behind him, he marries her and agrees to move to Los Angeles to start their family. It doesn’t take long for Richard to realize that his past is hard to escape, as is the toll his strained relationship with his dysfunctional father has had on him. Meanwhile, Kate tells Richard that she has developed feelings for someone else. They get divorced and Richard is free to move on with Kate’s sister Olivia (Salma Hayek), with whom he has been in love with since before he married Kate. Olivia and Richard start dating soon after.A witty but not hilarious film that shows Pierce Brosnan can act well and didn’t just look good in the Bond movies.Easy to watch and will appeal to people of all ages.

 

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REVIEW: THE SLEEPING DICTIONARY

CAST

Hugh Dancy (Hannibal)
Jessica Alba (Machete)
Brenda Blethyn (Atonement)
Emily Mortimer (Lars and The Real Girl)
Bob Hoskins (Hollywoodland)
Noah Taylor (Game of Thrones)

A young and naive Englishman, John Truscott (Hugh Dancy), goes to the British colony of Sarawak, Borneo, to try to apply his father’s work to the Iban society. There he meets his boss Henry Bullard (Bob Hoskins) and his wife Aggie Bullard (Brenda Blethyn). John tries to civilize them, building schools and providing education for the Iban people. He is met with unfamiliar local customs. Selima (Jessica Alba) becomes his “sleeping dictionary”, who sleeps with him and teaches him the language and the habits of the locals. John is sent up river where a sickness is affecting the Yakata tribe. He and Selima travel inland. John witnesses a nearby mining operation run by Europeans. He notices that the Yakata have rice – which has been given to them by the miners – and he guesses correctly that the miners have poisoned the rice in order to get rid of the Yakata. Knowing that they will exact vengeance, John tells the Yakata what has happened. The Yakata wipe out the miners.Despite their intents, the two find themselves falling into a forbidden love. John is eager to marry Selima despite the longhouse not allowing it. When John tells Henry about his plans to marry her, they lock Selima up. Selima then agrees to marry in the longhouse and they part ways. Bullard threatens to send him to trial for the death of the European miners. He makes a deal with John. John has to give up Selima, and go to Britain for a year’s vacation and to meet the Bullards’ daughter Cecilia. Another local British official, Neville Shipperly (Noah Taylor), a boorish drunk and a man who despises the locals, is jealous of John because he had planned to win Cecilia as his own. A year later, John is seen marrying Cecilia. He still struggles to get over his past with his sleeping dictionary. With Cecilia, he decides the best thing to do is go back to Sarawak to continue his work there. Returning to Sarawak, Cecilia notices John’s desire for Selima with his constant distance from her. Cecilia demands to know more about Selima and John replies by saying that she is married to Belansai and that the couple have a baby together.While at the lake collecting rocks for research, John sees Selima with a baby. He believes the child to be his and asks Famous to arrange a meeting with the pair. Soon back at the house, Selima walks in, unaware that John is there. John begs to see his son and soon Selima walks away not before John can stop them. Here, John meets his son Manda for the first time. When Belansai hears news that John is spending time with his wife, he sneaks in to try to kill John but only manages to hurt him with a razor. The next morning, Henry reveals to John his past about his own ‘sleeping dictionary’, which resulted in the birth of another child: Selima. When Belansai is caught for trying to kill an officer, he is sentenced to be hanged. Selima is not happy that Belansai will be killed as he’s been a good father to Manda. Not wanting to kill Belansai, a friend of his, John goes through with announcing Belansai’s hanging as he had no other option. Later that night, Selima tries to break Belansai out, not knowing John is already there. When she walks over to the jail cell, she sees John breaking Belansai out and handing him a gun. As Belansai escapes, John asks Selima to meet him at the dock so they can escape on the boat. Selima tells him he won’t come as they’ll catch him. John turns to Selima and says “Then I’ll tell them I’d rather have you than a country… or a language… or a history”. They embrace as the rain is pouring behind them.The next day, since the people of the Longhouse have turned on Selima, she is forced to become the sleeping dictionary for Neville. Later Cecilia announces she is pregnant, shocking John. That night, Selima bashes Neville on the head, knocking him out, because he has attempted to attack her and force her. She grabs the baby and runs from the house, heading for the docks. Although John still has plans to be with Selima and their son, he begins writing a note but stops as Cecilia catches him. The couple then talk about John’s love for Selima and how Cecilia wants John to be happy. Aggie is not happy that Cecilia and Henry have allowed both John and Selima to run away together because she never left Henry’s sight, fearing he’d go with his sleeping dictionary. She encourages Neville to go after them. With the help of Famous and the Yakata, John searches for Selima as she’s left believing that John didn’t come to the place of arrangement. They reunite as Neville comes through with a gun. He tells them to cuff themselves around the bamboos and tells them of his plans to kill John, Selima and their baby. They’re then rescued by the Yakata, who kill Neville. At the end, they decide to live together and migrate with the Yakata.What a magnificent surprise “The Sleeping Dictionary” was for me, indeed a wonderful romance, with action and drama and an adorable story of difference of cultures, seduction and secrets. Jessica Alba and Hugh Dancy have stunning performances, showing a delightful chemistry. Brenda Blethyn and Bob Hoskins are excellent, as usual, and Noah Taylor, as the nasty Neville, Emily Mortimer, as the sweet Cecil and Eugene Salleh, as Belansai, are also fantastic. Certainly, Jessica Alba is better and better than Webster’s and American Heritage Dictionaries. Definitely, “The Sleeping Dictionary” is a must-see movie for any audience.

REVIEW: BARELY LETHAL

CAST

Hailee Steinfeld (Ender’s Game)
Sophie Turner (Game of thrones)
Jessica Alba (Machete)
Samuel L. Jackson (Snakes on a Plane)
Dove Cameron (Descendants)
Thomas Mann (Project X)
Rob Huebel (Life As We Know It)
Toby Sebastian (The Hollow Crown)
Gabriel Basso (Super 8)
Jaime King (Bulletproof Monk)
Rachael Harris (The Hangover)
Alexandra Krosney (Last Man Standing)
Dan Fogler (Fantastic Beasts)
Steve-O (Jackass)
Nina Dobrev (The Vampire Diaries)
Emma Holzer (Spring Breakers)

TUJHTJTYJTYJTYJYTJThe young female orphans in the government-run Prescott Academy are trained to become assassins. Their number one rule, taught by trainer Hardman (Samuel L. Jackson), is “no attachments”. Agent 83 has top skills, which have made her rivals with Agent 84. 83 has always been curious about the world outside the Academy, brushing up on teen culture through popular magazines and watching movies and TV shows like Mean Girls and Beverly Hills, 90210.  Hardman assigns the agents to capture arms dealer Victoria Knox (Jessica Alba). Undercover in Chechnya, 83 poses as one of those captured and brought before Knox. She manages to latch herself and Knox onto Hardman’s passing jet but Knox pulls a knife and cuts the rope and 83 drops (into a river) as Knox is apprehended. 83 ignores comms calls causing Hardman to declare her MIA.barely-lethal-2-xlarge83 starts life as a regular teenager, adopting the name Megan Walsh and going through an exchange program to live with the Larson family. Mrs. Larson is kind, son Parker instantly likes Megan, but daughter Liz is cold and distant. Megan picks a ridiculous outfit for her first day of school and is laughed at and mocked at her first assembly, leaving both Megan and Liz embarrassed. Megan soon makes friends with a geeky kid named Roger, who has an interest in her. Megan is attracted to Cash, hacking the school’s system to make him her biology lab partner, to the ire of two mean girls. As retaliation, the girls convince Megan that Cash loves girls with school spirit and convince her to try out as the school mascot, for which she is the only contender. When kids from a rival school follow tradition and try to kidnap mascot Megan from a game she fights them off, with a video of her actions going viral. It earns her some popularity, while annoying Liz.barely-lethalMegan is apprehended by a Prescott agent and brought to Hardman. He assumes she is working with their enemies and tells his minion, Pedro, to torture Megan. He injects her with a truth serum and realizes she is honest when she says she only wanted to enjoy a normal life outside the Academy. Hardman lets her go, but warns her that if she gets into trouble, they won’t be there to bail her out. Megan and Liz both attend a big party at the home of the school’s class clown, Gooch. Megan hangs out with Cash, while Liz gets drunk with Gooch, learning that his real name is Bernard. To Megan’s surprise, 84 is there, calling herself Heather. Megan thinks Hardman sent Heather to shadow her, but Heather has her own plans, going after Cash to annoy Megan. Megan eventually wins Cash’s attention and gets asked by him to the homecoming dance.MV5BNTE0NjA4YmItMzFmNy00Zjc0LTllMmQtZDA4NDkyMDJiYTYwXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMzU5NjU1MDA@__V1_Megan is waiting for the school bus the next morning, and is surprised to see that Hardman is driving, only passing through to warn Megan that Knox has escaped from the Academy. Liz drives Megan to school, but they are pursued by a masked assassin. Megan steers them away from danger while telling Liz her secret. Megan crashes their car, crashing out the assassin as well. The assassin escapes, but Megan recognizes the smell of Ke$ha perfume, deducing that Heather was their attacker.Barely-Lethal-Trailer-TwoAt the homecoming dance, Megan realizes that Cash is a boring person and dumps him. She goes to apologize to Roger, but finds out that his date is Heather, who provokes a fight with Megan. Their fight rambles through the hallways and into the school’s kitchen. Heather reveals she joined Knox’s operation in order to get a chance to kill Megan. Liz sneaks up on Heather and stabs her in the leg with a skewer from a corndog. Megan then uses a frying pan and hits Heather in the head knocking her unconscious and she falls to the floor. The girls return home to find that Knox and some models have taken Parker and Mrs. Larson. Megan fights the goons but Liz gets captured as well. Knox reveals that she was Prescott Agent 1, but she left and turned against them. Hardman shows up with reinforcements and defeats Knox and her goons. Megan uses a Prescott helicopter to stop Roger, who is driving home with his father. She tells Roger her true feelings for him and they kiss. In a mid-credits scene, Heather is in a car with one of Knox’s former minions. She stares at a photo of Megan on a tablet and orders him to find out where she is going to college.v1Believe it or not, this movie is really fun. You gotta give it a chance to truly appreciate it. I went in not expecting anything and I honestly enjoyed it.

REVIEW: PARANOID

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CAST

Jessica Alba (Dark Angel)
Iain Glen (Game of Thrones)
Jeanne Tripplehorn (The Firm)
Ewen Bremner (Trainspotting)
Mischa Barton (The Assassiantion)
Kevin Whately (Lewis)
Gina Bellman (Coupling)

75448-paranoid-sky-picturesThe film begins at a fashion show, where Chloe Keene (Jessica Alba) takes the catwalk. She returns home to her boyfriend Toby (Oliver Milburn) and tells him what a great time she had in New York. The phone rings, but no one is on the other end, and she tells her friend she will change her number. After this, she goes to a shoot, where she meets her other boyfriend, Ned (Gary Love), who offers to take her out to a reunion of his former band. She goes home, and lies to Toby that she will be visiting someone in Brighton. Chloe falls asleep in the car due to pills she has taken, and wakes up when she arrives at the reunion. She gets a phonecall from a stalker with a strange voice, a different one to the one that called earlier. At the reunion, she meets Stan (Iain Glen), his wife Rachel (Jeanne Tripplehorn), his deaf daughter Theresa (Mischa Barton), and his brother Gordon (Ewen Bremner), who films the party. While they are having lunch, Ned’s wife Eve (Gina Bellman) arrives, and is rude to her, causing her to cut her hand on a glass. Eve tells her that she wants her to bleed to death,hqdefaultChloe goes outside, and later on, Stan comes to find her. He tells her that everyone else has gone, but she can stay the night. While she is in the bath, Rachel enters and asks her what she thinks during photoshoots. Chloe tells her that she just pretends during them. When she gets out of the bath, she finds that Graham has put the handcuffs Ned gave her on the bed. She goes to bed, and hears a noise outside. When she goes to investigate, Stan takes her back into the bedroom and drugs her, so she falls asleep. She wakes up again, and calls her friend, who hangs up on her. She decides to go downstairs, and sees Gordon watching the tapes of earlier in the evening. When he goes to bed, she snatches one and starts to watch it, seeing herself being sexually assaulted. Someone attempts to open the door, so she escapes through the window and gets outside, where she faints after seeing Stan in the car.jessica-alba-bildergalerie-327818-1999pranoidShe wakes up in the basement, where Stan handcuffs her to the bed. Meanwhile, her silent stalker Clive (Kevin Whateley) is still phoning her up. Using her barefeet to pick up the phone, Chloe answers, and tells him she is trapped in the house that used to be a hotel. Theresa finds the tapes somewhere, and makes a poster to hand in to the police about Chloe, but they just laugh. Rachel finds the phone, and the group decide to hide it in the shed. Clive decides to make his way to the house, and Rachel gets rid of him. He phones Chloe and hears the phone in the shed, ringing, so decides to call the police. Inside, Theresa finds Chloe, but is unable to undo the cuffs. Ned arrives and tells Chloe they will need to make a tape of her enjoying herself, in case she tells the police what they have done. Stan tells Gordon that they need to kill Chloe, and they bundle her into a car. Unknown to them, they are followed by Clive. Ned tells Rachel that if they go through with their plan, they will be accessories to murder. Upstairs, Theresa breaks the window with a chair, and escapes down the side of the house, just as the police arrive. Ned gets her into the police car, and tells them to get out of there.paranoid-48-stunden-in-seiner-gewalt-jessica-alba-2-rcm408x408uStan and Gordon arrive at their destination and Clive sees them. Stan distracts Clive, as Gordon tries to cover up Chloe’s noise. When Stan threatens him, Clive attempts to run him over, narrowly missing. He then begins chasing Gordon around in a circle, as the police arrive, and arrest Stan. Back at home, Clive gets some dinner from his wife, and looks out of his window to see Chloe getting back home. She calls Toby, who is playing the saxophone. After she hangs up, he reveals himself to be her other stalkeuntitledI thought this movie wasn’t extremely bad. It did run a little long..but maintaining your interest for about the middle 3o mins and a slighty good ending which left you with the feeling that the movie was semi-good. A decent enough thriller worth a watch if your a fan of Jessica Alba.

REVIEW: AWAKE

CAST

Hayden Christensen (Jumper)
Jessica Alba (Machete)
Terrence Howard (Iron Man)
Lena Olin (Alias)
Christopher McDonald (Fanboys)
Sam Roberds (A.I)
Fisher Stevens (Short Circuit)
Georgina Chapman (Match Point)
David Harbour (Suicide Squad)

Young billionaire Clay Beresford (Hayden Christensen) is in love with Samantha “Sam” Lockwood (Jessica Alba), his mother’s personal assistant. Clay requires a heart transplant. Dr. Jack Harper (Terrence Howard) is Clay’s heart surgeon and friend. Clay asks Dr. Harper to arrange his elopement with Sam. They marry privately at midnight, then Clay goes to the hospital for the operation. While Clay’s mother, Lilith (Lena Olin), await completion of his surgery, Clay encounters anesthesia awareness.The surgical pain causes Clay to have a clairvoyant experience exposing Dr. Harper’s plot to murder Clay, also revealing that Sam worked at the hospital under Dr. Harper and has conspired with him against Clay. Sam’s plan was to poison the donor heart (by injecting Adriamycin) to cause its rejection, thus murdering Clay to collect insurance money to pay off Dr. Harper’s malpractice lawsuits. The scheme unravels and Lilith, realizing what has happened, sacrifices herself so that Clay, who is close to death, can live. She commits suicide so her heart can be switched for the poisoned one, and save Clay. Though Sam tries to get away with what she did, Dr. Harper feels guilty and he holds onto proof so she can be charged too. Another surgical team takes over the operation, as Clay barely clings to life and as the conspirators are running away. The new team takes Lilith’s heart and transplant’s it into Clay’s body, as Clay and Lilith have their final moments together in spirit (out of body experience). The new head surgeon announces that Clay has come back to life, as the new team stitch Clay’s wound. Clay, in spirit, is still in the afterlife with Lilith, tries to commit suicide to stay with his mother. Clay makes his new heart stop beating and the surgeons have to use the defibrillator in attempt to revive Clay. As Clay resists being revived, Lilith forces Clay (in the “afterlife-world”) to revisit a scene from his childhood, when Lilith accidentally killed Clay’s abusive father. This scene reveals the truth for Clay and connects his childhood flashbacks. After seeing this scene, Clay gives away to revival, and before the surgeons could shock his body again, Clay allows his new heart to begin beating. As Harper narrates his thoughts ending with “He is awake”, in the operating room, the surgeons finally remove the eye tapes and Clay opens his eyes.Awake has a simple but effective story. The cast is excellent, leaded by the still gorgeous Lena Olin, Terrence Howard, Jessica Alba and Hayden Christensen. The plot point was a great surprise for me and I really like this original movie.

REVIEW: THE KILLER INSIDE ME

CAST

Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)
Jessica Alba (Machete)
Kate Hudson (Gossip)
Ned Beatty (Superman)
Tom Bower (Beverly Hills Cop 3)
Elias Koteas (Crash)
Simon Baker (The Mentalist)
Bill Pullman (Spaceballs)
Brent Briscoe (The Grind)
Matthew Maher (Vulgar)
Noah Crawford (My Name Is Earl)

In 1952, Deputy Sheriff Lou Ford (Casey Affleck) is a pillar of the community in his small west Texas town — patient, dependable, and well-liked. However, he is a sociopath with violent sexual tastes. As a teenager, Lou was caught raping a five-year-old girl by his adopted brother Mike, who pleaded guilty to the crime and served prison time to protect Lou. After being released, Mike was hired by the construction firm of Chester Conway (Ned Beatty). Mike died on the job after slipping and falling off a beam. Lou believes that Conway staged the “accident”.At the request of Sheriff Bob Maples (Tom Bower), Lou visits Joyce Lakeland (Jessica Alba), a prostitute who is having an affair with Conway’s son, Elmer (Jay R. Ferguson). When Joyce objects to Lou’s treatment of her, he violently beats and spanks her until her buttocks are bruised. Joyce enjoys pain, and she and Lou begin a passionate love affair. Joyce suggests that Lou would never leave town with her, but they devise a plot to extort $10,000 from the Conways. Sheriff Maples and Chester Conway ask Lou to oversee the pay-off. But Lou has other plans: he brutally beats Joyce to the point he believes her to be dead, and when Elmer arrives, Lou shoots and kills him. He then plants the gun on Joyce, hoping to make the scene look like the two have killed each other, however Joyce survives the ordeal. Then Conway announces his intention to see her executed for killing Elmer.Lou’s reputation begins to falter: his girlfriend and fiancee Amy (Kate Hudson) suspects him of infidelity, and the county district attorney Howard Hendricks (Simon Baker), who has arrived in town to investigate the murders, suspects that Lou could be the killer. Lou accompanies Sheriff Maples and Conway in taking Joyce to the hospital in Fort Worth; Conway wants her alive so he can interrogate her. Lou waits in a hotel room while the surgery takes place. Maples tells him that Joyce died on the operating table. Lou and Maples return to west Texas. Back at his home, Lou discovers explicit photographs of a woman inside a Bible. The woman was Helene, a housekeeper and babysitter from his youth who bears a resemblance to Joyce. Lou recalls that Helene introduced him to sadomasochism, urging him to strike her. Lou burns the photos.imagesHendricks arrests Johnnie Pappas (Liam Aiken), a local youth whom Lou had previously befriended as a suspect in the murders of Elmer and Joyce. He was found with one of the $20 bills that Elmer was supposed to give to Joyce in the pay-off; Conway had the bills marked in order to blackmail Joyce if she didn’t leave town. Because Lou is close to Johnnie, Hendricks asks Lou to persuade him to confess, but it was Lou himself who had given Johnnie the marked $20 bill as a tip. In the prison cell Lou confesses to Johnnie that he was the one responsible. When they are alone in his cell, Lou hangs Johnnie to make it appear as a though he committed suicide out of guiltimagesJohnnie’s death only makes the town more suspicious of Lou. Journalist and union organizer Joe Rothman (Elias Koteas), who had previously suggested that Conway had Lou’s foster brother Mike killed, implies that he knows that Lou killed Elmer and Joyce. Lou coaxes Amy to elope with him as he proposes to her. To sate Lou’s violent predilections, she acquiesces to his desire to spank her. An alcoholic bum (Brent Briscoe), whom Lou had previously burnt with a cigar, has been trailing Lou and knows that he was responsible for the murders of Elmer and Joyce. He demands $5,000 to keep quiet, to which Lou agrees. On the day which Lou and Amy had planned to elope, Lou beats Amy to death, and when the bum sees her body, he runs for help. Lou chases the bum, shouting that he has murdered Amy. Another deputy, Jeff Plummer (Matthew Maher) opens fire on the bum, and shoots him dead.the_killer_inside_me07The next morning Plummer informs Lou of Sheriff Maples suicide, convinced of Lou’s guilt and heartbroken over his crimes. Hendricks and Plummer try to get a confession from Lou, who cockily refuses. They have a letter that Amy intended to give to him before they eloped, in which Amy begs him to come clean. Lou is arrested, and after a week in prison is sent to an insane asylum. While there, he suffers hallucinations of Amy and Helene. After a few weeks, a slick lawyer named Billy Boy Walker (Bill Pullman) has him released and drives him home. Walker has been hired by Joe Rothman to protect the union man. Lou tells Walker his whole story and concludes that he doesn’t want anyone else to die. Lost in his violent fantasies, Lou douses his home in gasoline and alcohol, arms himself with a knife, and sits in his study to await retribution. As police vehicles and armed policemen arrive, Lou sees a car pull up with Hendricks, Conway, Plummer and the still-alive Joyce. As Joyce tells Lou that she refused to cooperate with the authorities, Lou tells her he loves her, then stabs her in the stomach. Plummer opens fire, hitting both Joyce and Lou and igniting the gasoline in the house. Outside, the approaching policemen see the house engulfed in a huge fireball, which it appears Lou has ignited to kill himself.371266752_640The film has an almost art house feel to it and this is reflected in both Affleck’s unsettling performance and the story itself. You are asked to make some of the conclusions yourself and decide who you think is right or wrong. Ford is charismatic enough that you sometimes like him even though he is evil. This is an impressive thing to pull off and Affleck and Winterbottom should be proud. A dark and powerful film that will not appeal to everyone.

REVIEW: MACHETE KILLS

CAST

Danny Trejo (Bullet)
Michelle Rodriguez (Resident Evil)
Mel Gibson (Mad Max)
Sofia Vergara (The Smurfs)
Amber Heard (Aquaman)
Demián Bichir (Solo)
Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men)
Walton Goggins (American Ultra)
Cuba Gooding Jr.(Jerry Maguire)
Lady Gaga (Sin City 2)
Antonio Banderas (The Mask of Zorro)
Jessica Alba (Dark Angel)
Vanessa Hudgens (Powerless)
Alexa Vega (Spy Kids)
William Sadler (Iron Man 3)
Electra and Elise Avellan (Death Proof)

Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) and Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) attempt to capture weapon dealers who have been supplying the Mexican drug cartels. The military men are then all killed by the gangsters, who in turn are wiped out by another intervening party. Its leader murders Sartana while Machete is arrested by corrupt Sheriff Doakes (William Sadler) and Deputy Clebourne (Samuel Davis). Doakes unsuccessfully tries to hang Machete but the President of the US, Rathcock (Charlie Sheen), intervenes. Machete is brought to the White House, where the president offers him US citizenship if he eliminates Marcos Mendez (Demián Bichir), a psychopath who is threatening to fire a nuclear missile at Washington, D.C. if the American government does not intervene to stop the rampant drug cartels in Mexico and the corruption of its government.Machete agrees and travels to San Antonio, where he meets his handler Blanca Vasquez (Amber Heard), an undercover beauty pageant competitor. She sends him to Acapulco to meet a young woman, Cereza (Vanessa Hudgens), who can lead him to Mendez. Machete finds her in a brothel run by her mother, Madame Desdemona (Sofía Vergara), who attempts to kill Machete before he escapes with Cereza. She takes him to Mendez’s associate, Zaror (Marko Zaror), who kills Cereza before taking Machete to Mendez’s base of operations.There, Machete learns that Mendez has wired the missile’s launch device to his heart and triggered its launch in 24 hours. If he dies, the missile fires. After killing Zaror he captures Mendez, intending to escort him to US and find a way to disarm the missile. Machete learns that Mendez is an ex-secret agent who tried to expose his corrupt superiors, only to be betrayed and forced to watch his family being tortured. The trauma drove him insane, creating his split personalities and leading him to join forces with the missile’s creator.Shortly thereafter, a hit is put out on them. Machete is targeted by Madame Desdemona and her prostitute assassins, including a shapeshifting hitman called El Camaleón (Lady Gaga), as well as Doakes. Machete and Mendez manage to reach the US and kill Doakes and Clebourne only to be caught by a reborn Zaror and the same mercenaries who killed Sartana. Zaror decapitates Mendez and Machete is riddled with bullets.Machete wakes up to find himself in a healing tank. He is taken to meet Zaror’s benefactor—corrupt businessman, inventor and Star Wars fan Luther Voz (Mel Gibson). He shows Machete Mendez’s beating heart, preserved in a jar, and informs him of his plan to manipulate extremists throughout the world to detonate nuclear weapons while planning to escape in a spaceship to rebuild society in space. Machete then escapes with help from Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who had heard about the hit on Machete. She informs him that the only one who can disarm Mendez’s heart is Machete’s old enemy, Osiris Amanpour (Tom Savini). Machete contacts Vasquez, who instructs him to meet her at a rendezvous point.Arriving there, Machete is betrayed and ambushed by Vasquez, who is in league with Voz. As she is escaping into the desert, Machete gives chase and jumps onto the top of her vehicle but falls off after gunfire comes through the roof. Machete is then given a ride by El Camaleón, who tries to kill him one last time. But he escapes and El Camaleón ends up being shot to death by a group of racist rednecks just inside the US border. Machete then reunites with Luz and her group, the Network. They infiltrate a fundraiser at Voz’s base of operations, where Voz kills Osiris. Machete realizes Voz was the one who killed Sartana and fights him. He severely burns Voz’s face, disfiguring him to the extent that Voz is forced to wear a metallic, silver mask. Meanwhile, Vasquez shoots Luz in her good eye, completely blinding her. Luz kills Vasquez in return but is captured by Voz, frozen in Carbonite and taken aboard his ship.Machete jumps on the missile as it launches and disarms it in mid-air, while Voz boards the ship and departs with the Zaror clones, his supporters, as well as Luz. The disarmed missile then plunges into the Rio Grande and Machete is rescued by President Rathcock, who asks him to follow Voz into space and kill him. Machete agrees and uses a SpaceX Falcon 9 v1.0 rocket to depart to Voz’s Station in Earth’s orbit, where he is given a laser machete to start his mission.If you saw the first one, you pretty much know what to expect and what the basic concept is. Just times that times ten and you have Machete Kills. It is just a movie where you sit and don’t think about it. Let it all happen and enjoy it. That is, of course, you like action movies where the hero chops every bad guy up and Sofia Vergara with her bra machine gun.