25 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS REVIEW: THE CLEVELAND SHOW: THE CHRISTMAS EPISODES

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A CLEVELAND BROWN CHRISTMAS

CAST
Mike Henry (Family Guy)
Sanaa Lathan (Blade)
Kevin Michael Richardson (Lilo & Stitch)
Nia Long (Boiler Room)
Seth MacFarlane (Ted)
Aseem Batra (Scrubs)
Arianna Huffington (John Q)
Jason Sudeikis (We’re The Millers)
Reagan Gomez-Preston (Jerry Maguire)
Jamie Kennedy (Son of The Mask)
David Lynch (Twin Peaks)
GUEST CAST
Alex Borstein (Power Rangers Zeo)
Stockard Channing (Practical Magic)
Will Forte (The Lego Movie)
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Cleveland and the family go to pick out a Christmas tree at Lester’s lot. Cleveland has his eye on a nice large tree but Rallo insists on a smaller tree. Cleveland finds out that Donna and the family have been lying to Rallo, telling him the reason Robert can’t come around during the holidays is that he is an FBI agent. When Cleveland fills in as Santa Claus at his office holiday party, he has one too many egg nogs and lets the truth slip about Rallo’s father. Rallo fails to connect that it was Cleveland posing as Santa and takes out his hostility on figures of Santa. With Rallo’s admiration for his dad destroyed, Cleveland tries to reconnect father and son in an attempt to save Rallo’s Christmas spirit. He finds Robert at SKANXXX a strip club. Robert doesn’t care at first but later has a change of heart. He shows up at the house dressed as Santa and tells Rallo another lie…he hasn’t been around because he is the real Santa, making Rallo’s Christmas a happy one.
Meanwhile, Roberta becomes an animal rights activist and tries to save a reindeer. When she sets it free, it goes on a rampage.
The first Xmas episode was a good decent comedy hour, and probably out of all the Cleveland show Christmas episodes it’s the best.

MURRAY CHRISTMAS

GUEST CAST
Edward Asner (Elf)
Carl Reiner (Oceans Eleven)
Craig Robinson (Pineapple Express)
Alex Borstein (Power Rangers Zeo)
While performing in a class choir at the Stoolbend Rest Home, Rallo observes one of the residents not paying attention and gets into a verbal battle of wits with him. When the home supervisor suggests they get to know each other better, Rallo’s teacher forces him to spend the weekend at a retirement home to get to know the senior citizens during the holidays, Murray teaches him about Hanukkah. In an attempt to rekindle Murray’s holiday spirit, Rallo helps him escape, but when his new friend’s health begins to suffer, Rallo has to decide whether or not to bring Murray back to the home.
Meanwhile, Cleveland Jr. sees a picture of his dad with a black eye at Christmas and finds out how his grandfather spends “Boxing Day”, by forcing his son to box with him for his gifts to toughen him up. Donna trains Cleveland for a boxing match against his father, which ends with Cleveland landing a surprise blow that triggers a heart attack in Freight Train. When Donna finds Murray’s teeth in the dishwasher Rallo comes clean, which hurts Murray’s feelings and trust. When Cleveland goes to see his father, Freight Train is forced to admit he is getting old and regrets not spending more time with Cleveland even if in the form of more beatings. Rallo decides to go back to the home and free Murray and the rest of the residents for Christmas with the help of Cleveland Jr. and Cleveland. In addition to Christmas at the Brown home with the rest home residents and Cleveland’s parents, Rallo also treats Murray to the last night of Hanukkah
The second xmas episode shows us how other religions celebrate the holidays which was a nice touch. It also introduces us to Murray who would become a recurring character throughout the shows run.

DIE SEMI-HARD

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GUEST CAST
Alex Borstein (Power Rangers Zeo)
John Slattery (Ant-Man)
To help pass time while posing in a holiday nativity scene, Cleveland tells his family his own version of one of his favorite holiday stories, “Die Hard”. After detective Cleveland Brown flies into Los Angeles to meet his wife at her job at Waterman International, he tells his limo driver Rallo about some of his marriage troubles while he hopes to reconcile during the office Christmas party. Meeting with his wife, he takes off his shoes and tries to be romantic but Donna resists his charms and returns to the party alone. Meanwhile, a group of thieves led by Tim posing as terrorists take the party guests hostage and separate Mr. Waterman in order to gain access to the Waterman International vault.
Cleveland tosses his shoes out the window over a nearby poser line when he hears gunshots and arrives as Mr. Waterman is killed. Hearing noise from Cleveland, Tim sends Kendra out to investigate where she is killed by Cleveland. As the terrorists discover Kendra’s body, they hear Cleveland trying to use his radio to call for police and start shooting. Police dispatcher Roberta sends officer Cleveland Brown, Jr. to investigate. As Cleveland dispatches another of the terrorists and escapes into an air shaft, Jr. arrives but is told by a guy that looks like Huey Lewis but is really one of the terrorists that all is well and starts to leave. To get his attention, Cleveland throws a janitor out the window onto Jr. squad car. Jr. frantically backs away as the terrorists fire on his car. As police surround the building, Cleveland taunts the terrorists but slips and gives away his location. As Robert Tubbs struggle to crack the vault, the gift exchange at the party hostages goes on. But when Donny’s gift turns out to be a small package of golf balls in a large box he is shot too. As Cleveland and Jr. exchange banter over the radio, Tim arrives but is taken by surprise. Tim manages to come up with a name on the office list and fools Cleveland who gives him a gun which her turns of Cleveland. Cleveland manages to distract him momentarily and takes out another of the henchmen as he escapes. As Cleveland hides behind a wall of glass and keeps Tim and Lester pinned down, Tim orders Lester to shoot out the glass after noticing Cleveland’s bare feet. Cleveland is forced to retreat through the glass picking up several shards in the process. Despite picking out much of the glass, Cleveland leaves bloody footprints behind him.
Two FBI agents arrive and order the building power to be cut off which results in the vault opening. The terrorists take Cleveland’s friend Holt hostage but kill him after they learn that they also hold Cleveland’s wife Donna. As Cleveland ponders his next move, Lester manages to sneak up on him but is hung from a chain by Cleveland after telling him that the hostages have been moved to the roof with explosives. Arriving on the roof, Cleveland orders everyone off but the FBI agents in a helicopter mistake Cleveland for one of the terrorists and open fire on him. Tim orders the roof blow as Cleveland ties a fire hose around his waist and jumps from the rooftop. The blast engulfs the helicopter as Cleveland shoots his way back into the building. As Cleveland catches Tim and his last henchman, Tim grams Donna and holds her at gunpoint forcing Cleveland to drop his gun. As Tim thinks he’s won, Cleveland draws a second gun taped to his back and shoots Tim and the henchman, forcing Tim through the window. Tim grabs Donna’s wig and holds her by the hair. Cleveland makes Donna undo her wig as Tim falls to his death. Outside as the surviving hostages are freed, Donna and Cleveland reconcile. Lester springs up shooting at the two to be killed by Jr. who also shoots Walt noting that he shoots kids.The scene returns to the nativity scene as only Jr. and Roberta remain awake. Jr. enthusiastically asks about a sequel to be told they will see what the internet has to say first.
Not a huge fan of this special as its just Cleveland doing Die hard, it has some fun moments but as a Christmas special it fails.

‘TIS THE SEASON TO BE SORRY

GUEST CAST

David Costabile (Lincoln)

 Nick Offerman (Sing)

When the kids make their Christmas lists, Donna insists that they help by donating old goods. Roberta refuses and insists on getting a job to buy her own gifts. While helping out at the mission, Cleveland finds that the residents eat better food than he gets at home and decides to pass himself off as homeless, telling Donna that he is volunteering at the shelter. He succeeds despite being recognized by Tim and makes the acquaintance of several of the residents where he spins a wild yarn about how he got into his predicament. They help him out and take him under their wings. Cleveland finds that Donna nominated his as a special angel due to his work at the shelter and his con job is exposed on television. Cleveland becomes a pariah in town and tries to publicly apologize but makes things worse. As he wanders back to the shelter, he finds that the residents still accept him but the food has returned to the usual low standards. He sets off with the residents to make others aware of the situation at Grundle’s.
At Grundle’s Department Store, Roberta gets hired as a skimply-dressed elf and Kendra demands to get upgraded from Mrs. Claus to the role of Santa but is passed over in favor of Arch. Kendra finds a sympathetic ear in Roberta but when she points her to a job as Santa at a laundromat, Kendra turns her down, wanting the job at Grundle’s. Arch uses his regular charm as Santa, telling the kids what they’ll get regardless of what they want. Kendra recalls a special present Roberta once wanted and Roberta makes Kendra a special sleigh out of her scooter. But due to being depressed over not getting her dream job, Kendra gives up on Christmas.
When Arch bails on the job and the kids are left without gifts, Kendra gets back her Christmas spirit and takes on the challenge of providing Christmas although she has trouble getting to the store, sliding backwards into the snow and losing the Christmas gifts in the process. Cleveland and the homeless find Kendra frozen in the snow and help her get to the store. Roberta and her co-workers complain about continuing to have to wear their costumes and quit, tossing Mr. Grundle their shorts. Without the presents, Kendra tells the kids at the store to help themselves to the store goods, figuring that they can’t all be arrested. Cleveland tries to apologize again but points out that everyone ignores the homeless after the holidays and strikes a chord, making Donna happy.
A much better special than season 3’s with a funny story merges some good heart warming stuff too. Cleveland song of I’ll be Homeless this Christmas was a funny song. This would be the last Christmas episode for the show as Season 4 became the final season.

HALLOWEEN OF HORROR REVIEW: THE CLEVELAND SHOW: HALLOWEEN EPISODES

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MAIN CAST

Mike Henry (Family Guy)
Sanaa Lathan (Blade)
Kevin Michael Richardson (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012)
Reagan Gomez-Preston (That 70s Show)
Jason Sudeikis (Son of Zorn)
Seth MacFarlane (Ted)
Aseem Batra (Scrubs)
Glenn Howerton (Crank)
David Lynch (Twin Peaks)

GUEST CAST

Fred Tatasciore (Hulk )
Will Forte (MacGruber)
Rob Riggle (21 Jump Street)

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IT’S A GREAT PANCAKE, JUNIOR BROWN

Cleveland crushes Cleveland Jr.’s spirit when he forbids him from trick-or-treating because he thinks he is too old. Depressed when he sees everyone else in the family dressing up and left with passing out the candy. Cleveland Jr. decides to dress up anyways but is harassed and egged by kids from school. After getting chewed out by Cleveland, Cleveland Jr. decides to pack up his childish things and become one of the cool kids. Jr. decides to attend Oliver Wilkerson’s party where he finds himself still teased and tormented. Cleveland follows and sees some of the torment but wants Cleveland Jr. to tough it out. Donna convinces him to let Jr. be himself. Cleveland leads the guys with Jr. to go back to the party where they return some of the previous eggings.
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Rallo is told by Donna that he can only have one piece of his Halloween candy per day, so he decides to roll it into one giant piece. Finishing one last stray bite, one of Rallo’s teeth come out causing him to panic. After trying to hide the missing tooth from his mother, he decides to hide it under his pillow. When he awakes the next morning, he finds the tooth has been replaced with a quarter. Yelling with fright, he causes Donna to come rushing in and explains what happened. She admits she knows and tells him about the Tooth Fairy.
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Some nice moments, like Cleveland and his friends dressing up like breakfast foods to help out his son. The story about Rallo losing his tooth after eating too much candy had alot of laughs  and I did like Roberta as a slutty ghost.

NIGHTMARE ON GRACE STREET

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After an introduction by Gus while he retrieves ingredients for his hairy turkey sandwiches, Donny stops by the guy’s table at The Broken Stool where he annoys them with his sense of humor. Back at the house, Rallo is preparing for his first sleepover at his friend Walt’s house but Cleveland Brown Jr. is disappointed as he isn’t allowed to come. At school, Roberta is taking a break from Federline Jones while he takes his SATs prep classes when she catches a glimpse of Edwin Mullins, a new student. Noticing his pale, dark looks and a trickle of pizza sauce dribbling from his lips, Roberta gets the idea that Edwin could be a vampire. Introducing herself, Roberta ignores hints from Edwin that he isn’t interested in her.
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At the sleepover, Rallo gets frightened and calls up Cleveland to come get him. Cleveland tries to pass the task off to Donna but she orders him out to get Rallo himself. Cleveland teases Rallo about being scared and picks up a hitch-hiker to scare Rallo further. But kicks the hitch-hiker out of the car when he tickles Rallo without paying any attention to Cleveland. Later at The Stool, the guys win a jack-o-lantern contest by being the only ones Gus knows and Terry Kimple invites everyone except Donny back to his house. At the house, Cleveland gets scared by being in a strange place and calls Donna. When she picks him up, she makes him get in the back of the car where he gets frightened by Rallo and they continue to argue over who is the bigger chicken. The arguing continues into trick-or-treat where, thanks to Donny’s annoying jokes, they fail to get candy from Wally’s house. When the kids get on to Cleveland for Donny ruining their fun, Cleveland tells him to take a hike. The arguing over who is braver starts again with Cleveland and Rallo darting into traffic until Donna grabs them and forces them to call it a night.
Roberta tries to attract Edwin by jumping off of a cliff into a lake like she saw in the movies, but is rescued by a moonlight swimmer named Caleb. Roberta gets the idea that he is a werewolf and has to think over who she wants to be with. Donna drives Rallo and Cleveland to the abandoned McCafferty House and forces them to be brave by spending the night in the house together. As they try to settle in for the night, Cleveland and Rallo hear noises and investigate, discovering spooky surprises that Donna and Jr. planted as traps while they watch on a web cam at home, unaware that Donny is slipping into the house with an ax to extract revenge for being snubbed. When Donna gets up for some snacks, Donny bursts in looking for Cleveland. When they tell him that Cleveland isn’t there, Donny decides to start by killing Donna and Jr. instead. Back at the McCafferty house, Cleveland and Rallo decide to call a truce and leave together. Pausing briefly at a driving range while stalling for time, Cleveland and Rallo decide to face the music together and head for home.
At a Halloween party, while trying to decide if either Caleb or Edwin should become her lover, she has them go into a room to fight it out over her. Nervous about what is going on, Roberta has her friend Anna look in on them and finds out that the two of them are having sex together. Back at the house, Cleveland and Rallo arrive to find Donny disguised as Donna who he has tied up with Jr. Donny attacks Cleveland with his ax. While they struggle, Rallo sprays the fluid from Cleveland Jr.’s “WD-40” costume onto the floor, enabling Cleveland to force Donny out the window to his death as he screams about hating black people. Cleveland ends by noting that they were pretty brave after all. Things come to a close with a musical number as Gus hauls away Donny’s body
another great Halloween instalment to the show, the costumes were funny and the shining moments were hilarious.

ESCAPE FROM GOOCHLAND

After Donna forbids the older kids to buy costumes for Halloween, Roberta tells Federline who thinks he can get on Cleveland’s good side. When Cleveland finds out that its his turn to be the designated driver when he and the gang visit their rival high school in Goochland for the annual football game, he sets out to find an alternate driver and Federline signs up. When Donna sets out to return Roberta’s slutty costume, Cleveland admits he finds it sexy and they set up a rendezvous at a motel after the game. To get even with her mother, Roberta plots to play a prank disguised as her mother and enlists Cleveland Jr. to come along dressed as his dad. At the game, the guys get riled by Cleveland’s rival Chet Butler. During halftime, Goochland puts on a halftime show presenting Stoolbend in a negative light and the wooden wife of President Harrison said to be given to the town. After the game, Federline accidentally backs the guy’s car into another that belongs to Chet Butler, forcing the guys to flee for their lives, blending in by donning Halloween costumes until Federline nearly gives away the game. onna meanwhile gets arrested for prostitution while spending time in a bar waiting for Cleveland and Roberta and Jr. nearly get caught by Principal Wally when they plant thousands of toothpicks in the school field.
As the guys find safety in the woods, Cleveland berates Federline for his attitude, pointing out he isn’t the gangster he thinks he is. Federline takes off. After the guys hop a train to Stoolbend, Federline catches up, having stolen the wooden statue of Eunice. Hot on his heels is a mob from Goochland which proceeds to tear apart Stoolbend. Taking shelter at The Broken Stool, Cleveland decides to use Stoolbend’s deficiencies to their advantage as Gus reveals that the statue originally belonged to Stoolbend until “borrowed” by Goochland. Leading a group to face off with the mob, a rolling blackout leaves the Goochland group in the dark while those from Stoolbend reveal themselves to have developed mole eyes in the dark. As Cleveland notes that the Goochland people are taken off to be eaten, Donna is freed when the police wagon is overturned. Chet pursues Cleveland to the river but is confused when he mistakes Jr. for Cleveland. Cleveland ignites the river, burning the bridge but Chet makes it to the other side and holds a knife at Jr. throat. As Chet laughs at Cleveland apparently failed ploy to burn him, Cleveland note he only set the river on fire to catch the attention of a giant monster which proceeds to devour Chet. Cleveland and Donna bump into each other later when Cleveland propositions Donna and Donna accepts as they laugh it off and proceed to their rendezvous.
Meanwhile, Rallo enjoys the fact that he still gets to participate in Halloween until he accidentally cuts himself badly with a knife. As he periodically calls for help and leaving a large puddle of blood, he appears as a ghost in the end noting he dies but laughs it off reporting he’ll be back the next episode.
Sadly the last Halloween episode of the show as after season 4 the show was cancelled. There was much that I really enjoyed here. From things like the War of Northern Aggression Memorial Stadium, to Tim dressed as He-Man and Hoult dressed as Katy Perry, all the way to our heroes praying to Tim Teabow for salvation and the extreme weirdness of Gus (voiced by David Lynch, btw). There were plenty of moments and gags that had me really laughing out loud (especially Roberta and Cleveland, Jr, dressing up as their parents).

REVIEW: WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS

 

CAST

Cameron Diaz (Bad Teacher)
Ashton Kutcher (Two and a Half Men)
Zach Galifianakis (The Hangover)
Rob Corddry (Warm Bodies)
Lake Bell (No Strings Attached)
Queen Latifah (Bringing Down The House)
Krysten Ritter (Jessica Jones)
Jason Sudeikis (Horrible Bosses)
Treat Williams (Skeletons in The Closet)
Dennis Farina (Get Shorty)
Dennis Miller (Emerald City)
Amanda Setton (The Crazy Ones)

In New York City, high-strung equity trader Joy Ellis McNally (Cameron Diaz) is dumped by her fiancé at a surprise birthday party she throws for him. At the same time, easy-going carpenter Jack Fuller (Ashton Kutcher) is fired from his job by his father, Jack, Sr. (Treat Williams). Both become emotionally distraught and, with best friends Toni “Tipper” (Lake Bell), a bartender, and Jeff “Hater” (Rob Corddry), a lawyer, take a debauched trip to Las Vegas. Joy and Jack meet by chance when they are given the same hotel room because of a computer error. After clearing up the misunderstanding and receiving upgraded rooms and coupons to various clubs, they party and drink together and end up getting married. The next morning, they realize it was a mistake and decide to divorce.

Before they do so, Jack uses a quarter Joy gives him in a slot machine. He hits a three million dollar jackpot and Joy reminds Jack that they are married and hence, she is entitled to half of the money. The couple return to New York, where they attempt to divorce. The judge (Dennis Miller) declares that the couple cannot divorce until they attempt to co-exist for six months, while attending weekly sessions with a marriage counselor (Queen Latifah). If they work at the marriage but still want to divorce after six months, each will be permitted to keep half the winnings. If either party does not cooperate, the money will be tied up in litigation by the judge.
The newlyweds devise more and more cunning schemes to undermine each other, such as Jack telling Joy that their counseling session is canceled to prove she’s not committed, and Joy inviting girls to their apartment to try to get Jack to cheat on her, throwing a party where Jack’s friend Dave shows up. Jack gives Joy’s ex-fiancé, Mason (Jason Sudeikis), her engagement ring back without Joy knowing. At Joy’s job retreat, Jack and Joy find themselves developing an unexpected attraction to one another and they soon realize that being with each other has brought out the best in both of them. After they get back from the retreat, it’s time for the judge to decide what happens to the money. On her way to the hearing, Joy sees her ex-fiancé Mason and he tells her that he wants her back. He gives her back the engagement ring and tells her that she is good enough for him. Joy realizes that Jack set her up to get back with him, therefore cheating on him and letting Jack keep the money. Joy walks away from Mason and goes to the hearing. At the hearing, their marriage counselor testifies that the couple truly tried to work on their marriage. The judge decides that they will split the remaining 1.4 million dollars (after taxes, bills Joy ran up, and money Jack spent on his new woodworking business). Joy tells the judge she doesn’t want any money and gives the engagement ring to Jack, telling him she officially doesn’t want anything from him. Jack realizes she knows that he talked to Mason.

Joy gets the promotion she’d been working for, but tells her boss she would rather be happy doing nothing than doing something she hates and being miserable. Jack talks to his parents and they tell him it looks like he and Joy are in love. Realizing his mistake, he goes to find her. Tipper tells Jack that she quit her job and that nobody knows where she is. He has a suspicion that she has gone to a beach (Fire Island, New York) that she told him about, the only place that makes her feel truly happy. Jack asks her to be his wife (again) and she says yes. As the two embrace, Joy says that she quit her job and has no idea what she’s going to do. Jack reminds her that they have a lot of money between them. Joy states that they hit the jackpot, to which Jack replies that he certainly did (referring to both the money and to Joy).Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher in What Happens in Vegas (2008)During the credits, we see Tipper and Hater on the day Jack and Joy get married. Tipper and Hater subsequently enact a plan of revenge on Mason, devised by Tipper earlier in the film. Tipper and Hater ring Mason’s doorbell, and when he answers, Tipper slugs him in his testicles. He moans in agony and drops to his knees asking “Why?”, and she responds emphatically “You know why!”, and Tipper leaves with Hater. Post-credits, Dave is telling Hater about a party that evening, but Hater no longer wants to associate with Dave, citing Jack as being “the glue” that held the two of them together as friends. With that, Hater simply leaves. Dave asks a random guy on the street if he likes to party.

This is a funny film, it’s one of those you have to watch and then forget about but when you watch it again, you remember why it’s so good!

REVIEW: EPIC

EPIC 3D

Starring

Amanda Seyfried (Chloe)
Colin Farrell (Total Recall)
Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games)
Christoph Waltz (Big Eyes)
Aziz Ansari (Funny People)
Chris O’Dowd (St. Vincent)
Jason Sudeikis (Hall Pass)
Steven Tyler (Be Cool)
Beyoncé Knowles (Dreamgirls)
Blake Anderson (Bad Neighbours)
Judah Friedlander (Cabin Fever 2)
Thomas F. Wilson (Back To The Future)
John DiMaggio (Futurama)
Jeff Bennett (Enchanted)

Buffo (Pitbull) is a wheeler and dealer tough-guy toad who plays all the angles: he profits no matter which side wins or loses.17 year old Mary Katherine, or M.K., moves in with her eccentric scientist father Professor Bomba, who has been searching for tiny humanoid soldiers called Leafmen. They protect the forest that Bomba lives near from wicked creatures called Boggans and their malevolent leader Mandrake. An independent young soldier named Nod decides to quit, much to the ire of the no-nonsense Leafmen leader Ronin. The queen of the forest, Queen Tara, must choose an heir to her throne and goes out to a field of leaf pods, guarded by a laid-back slug named Mub and a wannabe Leafman snail named Grub. Immediately after she chooses a pod, the Boggans attack. Tara flees the area with the pod, and though her bodyguards do their best to protect her, they are soon overwhelmed by the sheer number of Boggans. Eventually, Ronin arrives for her and the pair fly off on his hummingbird mount. They are then attacked by Mandrake and his son Dagda. Dagda is killed by Ronin, but the former shoots Tara beforehand.Meanwhile, M.K. decides to leave after having an argument with Bomba about his research. Before she can leave, Bomba’s dog Ozzy runs into the woods. While looking for Ozzy, M.K. sees Tara falling. Dying, Tara gives her the pod and uses her magic to shrink her. She tells M.K. to take the pod to Nim Galuu, a glowworm wizard who is a con-artist, before she dies, and M.K. joins Ronin and the Leafmen, along with Mub and Grub. Ronin discovers that Nod has entered a race against other creatures and bugs on birds. Nod goes back on a deal with a short-tempered toad named Bufo to throw the race. Before Bufo and his two henchmen can feed Nod to a snake, Ronin intervenes and orders them to leave. A reluctant Nod joins him, M.K., Mub, and Grub after hearing about Queen Tara’s death, which Bufo overhears.Amanda Seyfried and Aziz Ansari in Epic (2013)Ronin, Nod, M.K., Mub, and Grub eventually track down Nim Galuu. He then leads them down to the scroll library, where M.K. discovers Tara’s brief message before shrinking her, and a message that will get her back to normal size. When Ronin leaves, Nod takes M.K. on a deer ride and they begin to fall in love. Meanwhile, Mandrake has had the Boggans bring Bufo to him, finding out the location of the pod. Mandrake goes to Nim Galuu’s place to steal the pod, which, if it blooms in darkness, will help Mandrake destroy the forest. He takes the pod and kidnaps Mub and Grub. Ronin scolds Nod for not being there to protect the pod. To get into Boggan territory undiscovered, M.K., Nod, and Ronin set out to Bomba’s house to get some disguises, where M.K. learns that the Leafmen have deliberately been leading Bomba off their trail. Bomba sees that he has visitors and captures M.K., fainting when he sees her. M.K. marks the location of Moonhaven on a map Bomba has made of the forest before rejoining Nod and Ronin.Colin Farrell, Beyoncé, Steven Tyler, Christoph Waltz, Amanda Seyfried, Josh Hutcherson, Chris O'Dowd, Pitbull, and Aziz Ansari in Epic (2013)When they reach the Boggan land Ronin distracts the Boggans while M.K. and Nod rescue Mub, Grub, and the pod. Mandrake discovers them and orders the Boggans to stop them. M.K., Nod, Mub, and Grub escape alive, but Ronin sacrifices himself to ensure their escape. Before the full moon can sprout the pod at Moonhaven, Mandrake’s bats block the light, causing the pod to begin sprouting in darkness. The Leafmen set out to fight the Boggans; M.K. tries to get help from her father by visiting his various cameras he had set in the forest. However, upon regaining consciousness, Bomba believes that he didn’t really see M.K. and that he has been insane all these years, and shuts down all his cameras. He changes his mind when he sees the red push-pin that M.K. had put on his map.Beyoncé in Epic (2013)Bomba is overjoyed to see that he has been right and he follows M.K. to Moonhaven. M.K. uses Bomba’s iPod to make bat sounds, luring Mandrake’s bats away. Meanwhile, Mub and Nim Galuu try to stop Mandrake from reaching the pod, but are unsuccessful. Just then, Ronin appears, bearing scars and bruises from the Boggans. Mandrake manages to outdo him, but is defended by Nod, who finally realizes the importance of teamwork. Before Mandrake can obtain his victory, the pod blooms in moonlight, defeating the Boggans, and sealing Mandrake into the burl of a nearby tree. The chosen heir is the flower child who helped save Tara earlier in the film. Grub becomes a Leafman, Nod and Ronin reconcile, and Nod and M.K. kiss before M.K. is returned to her original size. After reuniting with Bomba and becoming his assistant, the human family still keeps regular contact with their small friends as they continue the research of their world. Animation movies are all about the feel. Epic is a movie where the feel while watching the movie is brilliant.The level of detail that has gone into each frame in creating this world is mind boggling. The result is an aesthetically pleasing experience that deserves applause.

REVIEW: MOVIE 43

CAST

Dennis Quaid (The Day After Tomorrow)
Greg Kinnear (Ghost Town)
Common (Wanted)
Hugh Jackman (Logan)
Kate Winslet (Divergent)
Liev Schreiber (The 5th Wave)
Naomi Watts (King Kong)
Anna Faris (Mom)
Chris Pratt (Passengers)
Kristen Bell (Bad Moms)
Seth MacFalrane (Family Guy)
Emma Stone (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Charlie Saxton (Hung)
Leslie Bibb (American Housewife)
Uma Thurman (KillBill)
Bobby Cannavale (Ant-Man)
Kate Bosworth (Superman Returns)
Will Sasso (Happy Gilmore)
Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad)
Chloe Grace Moretz (The 5th Wave)
Odessa Rae (Hard Candy)
Terrence Howard (Iron Man 2)
Elizabeth Banks (Power Rangers)
Josh Duhamel (Transformers)
Tony Shalhoub (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Gerard Butler (Gamer)
Seann William Scott (American Pie)
Katie Finneran (Wonderfalls)
Halle Berry (X-Men)
Justin Long (Jeepers Creepers)
Jason Sudeikis (Son of Zorn)
Julie Claire (Devious Minds)
Stephen Merchant (The Office)
Johnny Knoxville (The Last Stand)
Richard Gere (Primal Fear)
Julie Ann Emery (Fargo)
J.B. Smoove (Date Night)
Jarrad Paul (The Grinder)
Katrina Bowden (30 Rock)
Kieran Culkin (Scott Pilgrim Vs The World)
Aasif Mandvi (The Dictator)
Julianne Moore (Carrie)
Anton Yelchin (Star Trek)
Fisher Stevens (Hail, Caesar!)
Jack McBrayer (30 Rock)
Julie McNiven (Doom Patrol)
Jimmy Bennett (Orphan)
Matt Walsh (Ted)
Emily Alyn Lind (Revenge)
Martin Klebba (Project X)

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Movie 43 is a series of different skits containing different scenes and scenarios.

Movie 43

The Pitch

The film is composed of multiple comedy shorts presented through an overarching segment titled “The Pitch”, in which Charlie Wessler (Dennis Quaid), a mad screenwriter, is attempting to pitch a script to film executive Griffin Schraeder (Greg Kinnear). After revealing several of the stories in his script, Wessler becomes agitated when Schraeder dismisses his outrageous ideas, and he pulls a gun on him and forces him to listen to multiple other stories before making Schraeder consult his manager, Bob Mone (Common), to purchase the film. When they do so, Mone’s condescending, humiliating attitude toward Schraeder angers him to the point that, after agreeing to make the film “the biggest film since Howard the Duck”, he confronts Mone in the parking lot with a gun and tries to make him perform fellatio on the security guard (Will Sasso) (Wessler had gotten on the lot by doing the same thing) and kill him if he does not make the film. Wessler tries to calm Schraeder down with more story ideas to no avail, but Mone pulls out a gun and shoots Schraeder to death. The segment ends with it being revealed that it is being shot by a camera crew as part of the movie, leading into the final segments.

Alternative version (The Thread)

The structure of the film released in some countries, like the United Kingdom and the Netherlands, differs. Instead of a pitch, the films are connected by a group of three teenagers searching for the most banned film in the world, Movie 43, which will ultimately lead to the destruction of civilization. Calvin Cutler (Mark L. Young) and his friend J.J. (Adam Cagley) make a video in the style of MTV’s Jackass and upload it on YouTube where it instantly reaches over 1,000,000 views. This turns out to be an April Fool’s prank from Calvin’s younger brother Baxter (Devin Eash), who cloned YouTube and hyper-inflated the views while working on his science project. Calvin and J.J. attempt to get revenge. They tell Baxter of a film that’s so dangerous it will cause the annihilation of the world. The movie is known as Movie 43. While J.J. and Baxter look for Movie 43 on Google, Calvin retrieves Baxter’s laptop and loads it with viruses from porn sites, and masturbates to the naked women on the porn sites in a bathroom. Baxter finds hundreds of results for Movie 43 on a website referred to by him as a dark corner of the Internet. They find the sketches starting from the 43rd search on the list of results. As he and J.J. keep watching videos, they are interrupted by a man known as Vrankovich (Fisher Stevens) and a group of Chinese mobsters (Tim Chou and James Hsu) who are tempted to find Movie 43, even going as far as to take J.J.’s classmate Stevie Schraeder (Nate Hartley), film executive Griffin Schraeder’s oldest son, hostage. Vrankovich warns them that if they find Movie 43, civilization will be left to ruins. They ignore his claims and keep searching. They eventually find the real, the one and only Movie 43, which turns out to involve Baxter as a profane commando who leads a group of recruits to survive after the world has ended. As Calvin finishes ruining Baxter’s laptop, their mother (Beth Littleford) enters, wearing the same shirt and shorts that the porn site women wear, causing Calvin to flip out, have visions, and find semen from his erect crotch on his hand in shock and horror. Afterward, a deadly earthquake rumbles and mankind is lost. However, a few years later the only survivor, a crippled Calvin, finds Baxter’s laptop still working despite viral infections. He watches the last remaining skits on the laptop. This version of the film was released in the U.S. as part of the Blu-ray Disc of Movie 43 as an unrated alternate cut of the film

The Catch

Beth (Kate Winslet) is a single businesswoman who goes on a blind date with Davis (Hugh Jackman), the city’s most eligible bachelor. When the two arrive together at a restaurant, Beth is shocked when he removes his scarf, revealing a pair of testicles dangling from his neck. Over dinner it confuses her that Davis fails to acknowledge his anatomical abnormality, and that nobody seems to be surprised by it. When two friends of Davis (Roy Jenkins and Katie Finneran) come by, one of them convinces him to give Beth a kiss. Davis agrees, but when he kisses her, his neck-testicles are dangling near Beth’s mouth, causing her to scream and budge out of the kiss.

Homeschooled

Having recently moved, Sean (Alex Cranmer) and Clare (Julie Ann Emery) have coffee with their new neighbors. The neighbors, Robert (Liev Schreiber) and Samantha (Naomi Watts) have a teenage son, Kevin (Jeremy Allen White), whom they have home-schooled. Sean and Clare begin inquiring about the homeschooling, and the numerous manners in which Robert and Samantha have replicated a high school environment within their home, going as far as hazing, bullying, and giving out detentions, are revealed. They also throw high school parties and Samantha instigates Kevin’s “first kiss” with him. Visibly disturbed, the neighbors end up meeting Kevin, who says he is going out and gives them the impression that all is fine: until he reveals a doll made of a mop with Samantha’s face on it, referring to the doll as his girlfriend.

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The Proposition

Julie (Anna Faris) and Doug (Chris Pratt) have been in a relationship for a year. When he attempts to propose to her, she reveals to him that she is a coprophiliac, and asks him to defecate on her in the bedroom. Urged by his best friend Larry (J.B. Smoove) and others to go along with it, he eats a large meal and drinks a bottle of laxative prior to the event. Wanting foreplay, Julie is angered when Doug wants to finish, and she runs into the street. Chasing after her, he is then hit by a car and graphically evacuates his bowels everywhere. She cradles him and apologizes; covered and surrounded by his excrement on the road, she exclaims that it is the “most beautiful thing” she has ever seen and accepts his marriage proposal.

Veronica

Neil (Kieran Culkin) is working a night shift at a local grocery store. His ex-girlfriend, Veronica (Emma Stone), comes through his line and the two begin arguing, which soon turns into sexual discussion and flirtation as they lament over their relationship; unbeknownst to them, Neil’s intercom microphone broadcasts the entire explicit conversation throughout the store, where various elderly people and vagrants tune in. After she leaves in tears, the customers agree to cover his shift while he goes after her.

iBabe

A developing company is having a meeting in their headquarters over their newly released product, the “iBabe”, which is a life-sized, realistic replica of a nude woman which functions as an MP3 player. The boss (Richard Gere) listens to his various workers (Kate Bosworth, Aasif Mandvi and Jack McBrayer) argue over the placement of a fan that was built into the genital region of the iBabe, which is dismembering the penises of teenage boys who attempt to have sex with them. The board members then agree to strongly emphasize the dangers of the product via its new commercials.

Superhero Speed Dating

Robin (Justin Long) and his cohort Batman (Jason Sudeikis) are in Gotham City at a speed dating establishment seeking out a bomb threat by their nemesis, Penguin (John Hodgman). While Robin attempts to connect with various women through speed dating including Lois Lane (Uma Thurman) and Supergirl (Kristen Bell), Batman encounters his ex Wonder Woman (Leslie Bibb) and attempts to stop Penguin from detonating Supergirl, who later turns out to be the Riddler (Will Carlough) in disguise, which Batman already knew and was screwing with Robin, who kissed “her” moments before unveiling.

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Machine Kids

A faux-Public service announcement about children stuck in machines and how adults’ criticism of these particular machines affect the feelings of the children stuck inside the machines. This commercial was paid for by the “Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children Inside Machines”.

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Middleschool Date

Nathan (Jimmy Bennett) and Amanda (Chloë Grace Moretz) are watching television after school at Nathan’s house as their first “middle school” date. When they begin to kiss, his older brother Mikey (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) enters the living room and makes fun of them. Amanda then discovers she is menstruating and tries to hide it, and when Nathan sees blood on her pants, he panics and believes her to be bleeding to death, causing a debacle, which would later have Nathan and Mikey’s father Steve (Patrick Warburton) and Amanda’s father (Matt Walsh) involved. Amanda calls them out on their stupidity and feels embarrassed to know that she’s getting her first period in front of them and they don’t know what to do about it. When she leaves with her father, Nathan yells that the process of keeping the lining of her internal organs intact by inserting his erect phallus into her vagina is much too complicated and Mikey agrees. Steve cheers them up by farting in front of them. As Mikey goes to the bathroom, Nathan and Steve watch a game on television, which has a very graphic Tampax commercial in which a girl gets eaten by a shark due to her menstruating.

Tampax

Another faux-commercial involving two women who go swimming in the sea. As the women submerge into the water, a great shark suddenly appears and eats one of the women. A tagline appears, reading: “Tampax. Now Leak-Proof”

Happy Birthday

Pete (Johnny Knoxville) captures a leprechaun (Gerard Butler) for his roommate Brian (Seann William Scott) as a birthday present. After tying the leprechaun up in the basement, they demand he give them a pot of gold. The obscene leprechaun threatens that his brother is coming to save him. When he arrives, Brian and Pete are shot at but ultimately kill both leprechauns. At the end of the segment, Pete reveals he has also caught a fairy (Esti Ginzburg) who performs fellatio for gold coins.

Truth or Dare

Donald (Stephen Merchant) and Emily (Halle Berry) are on a date together at a Mexican restaurant. Tired of typical first dates, Emily challenges Donald to a game of truth or dare. She dares him to grab a man’s buttocks, and he follows with daring her to blow out the birthday candles on a blind boy’s cake. The game rapidly escalates to extremes, in which both of them get plastic surgery and tattoos, and humiliate themselves. When Donald and Emily arrive back at Emily’s apartment, they praise their date. Donald tries to kiss her, but she rejects him, claiming she’s not attracted to Asian men (which he was surgically altered to resemble). It is revealed that she was joking and invites him to have sex with her as she shows him her enlarged breasts.

Victory’s Glory

Set in 1959, Coach Jackson (Terrence Howard) is lecturing his all-black basketball team before their first game against an all-white team. Worried about losing the game, the timid players are lectured by the coach about their superiority in the sport over their white counterparts, which he expresses vulgarly. When the game ensues, the all-white team loses miserably yet rejoices in a single point they earn.

Beezel

Played mid-credits, Amy (Elizabeth Banks) worries that her boyfriend Anson’s (Josh Duhamel) cat, Beezel (an animated cartoon), is coming between their relationship. Beezel seems to detest Amy and anyone who comes between him and Anson, but Anson only sees Beezel as innocent. One day, Amy witnesses Beezel masturbating to summer vacation photos of Anson in a swimsuit. Beezel attacks her and violently urinates on her. Anson still finds his pet innocent but Amy threatens to leave if he doesn’t get rid of Beezel. Caring more about his relationship, Anson agrees to find a new home for him. That night, from a closet, Beezel tearfully watches the couple make love (whilst sodomizing himself with a hairbrush and dry humping a stuffed teddy bear). The next day when it comes time to take Beezel away, he is nowhere to be found. Amy goes outside to look. Beezel then runs her over with a truck and attempts to shoot her to death with a shotgun, but she chases him into the street and begins beating him with a shovel, which is witnessed by a group of children attending a birthday party at a neighboring house. When Anson approaches to see what is happening, Amy tries to explain Beezel’s motives. Beezel acts innocent and Anson sides with his cat. The children of the party then attack and murder Amy for beating up Beezel, stabbing her with plastic forks. Anson grabs Beezel, as Beezel again fantasizes about French kissing his owner.

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Find Our Daughter

In this segment that was cut from the film, Maude (Julianne Moore) and George (Tony Shalhoub) are looking for their breast-flashing daughter Susie (Jordanna Taylor) with the help of the private eye (Bob Odenkirk), who is behind the camera with only one clue which is a small video that features their daughter. The scene was released on Blu-ray.

Necrophiliac

This segment cut from the film stars a necrophiliac who worked at a morgue and had sex with the dead female bodies. The scene was included on the Blu-Ray release.

This film gets a lot of negative reviews, and I can see why – it’s definitely a marmite type ‘love it or hate it’ film. I doubt there’s any room for a grey area. Slapstick, crude toilet humour delivered in a very clever fashion. This isn’t so much a film as it is a series of interlinked sketches with an all-star cast

 

 

REVIEW: THE BOUNTY HUNTER

CAST

Gerard Butler (300)
Jennifer Aniston (Leprechaun)
Jason Sudeikis (Horrible Bosses)
Jeff Garlin (Robocop 3)
Siobhan Fallon Hogan (Men In Black)
Carol Kane (Gotham)
Christine Baranski (The Big Bang Theory)
Peter Greene (The Mask)
Dorian Missick (The Cape)
Adam Rose (Up in The Air)

MV5BMTA5OTI0OTQwODReQTJeQWpwZ15BbWU3MDAxMDUwMjM@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,1505,1000_AL_Milo Boyd (Gerard Butler) is a former NYPD detective who now works as a bail enforcement agent (bounty hunter). Milo’s ex-wife, Nicole Hurley (Jennifer Aniston), is an investigative reporter who has been arrested for assaulting a police officer (As she later clarifies, she grazed a patrol horse with her car in trying to get to a press conference).When Nicole receives a tip on a story she is working on — an apparent suicide may actually have been a murder — she skips her bond hearing to meet with her informant, causing the judge to revoke her bail and issue a warrant for her arrest. Unfortunately, just before Nicole arrives, her informant, Jimmy (Adam Rose), is kidnapped.Milo is ecstatic when Nicole’s bail bondsman, Sid (Jeff Garlin), offers him the job of tracking down Nicole and bringing her to jail, for a bounty of $5,000. After questioning Nicole’s mother Kitty (Christine Baranski) (a cabaret singer in Atlantic City), Milo apprehends her at a race track in New Jersey, throws her into his car trunk and drives back towards Manhattan. Nicole manages to escape briefly before he catches up with her again.Meanwhile, neither is aware that they are being stalked: Milo by two thugs sent by a bookie named Irene (Cathy Moriarty), because of outstanding gambling debts; Nicole by corrupt cop Earl Mahler (Peter Greene), who is connected with the story she is investigating, and both of them by Nicole’s lovestruck coworker Stewart (Jason Sudeikis), bent on rescuing her from Milo. Stewart, however, is confused with Milo by Irene’s thugs and kidnapped in his place. Earl catches up and tries to kill Nicole, but the two narrowly escape. Milo is not interested in explanations until Nicole admits that she’s found evidence that implicates their mutual friend and Milo’s ex-partner on the police force, Bobby (Dorian Missick), is involved with Earl. Angry, Milo decides to investigate the crime with her.MV5BMTk4NjU1ODE2NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTEwNTAyMw@@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,1505,1000_AL_Clues from Earl’s car lead them to a country club, where they learn from a caddy that he owns a tattoo parlor in Queens, so they start to make their way there. Bobby warns the pair to stay off the road. By coincidence, the nearest hotel is “Cupid’s Cabin,” the bed and breakfast where they spent their honeymoon. They have feelings for each other and they both admit they have made mistakes [from the divorce]. She calls her mother on advice what to do. When she is done, she comes out of the bathroom and overhears Milo telling Sid that he may or may not sleep with Nicole that night, but he’s taking her to jail nevertheless. Infuriated, she handcuffs Milo to the bed and makes her way to the tattoo parlor herself, finding Jimmy and freeing him before she is captured by Irene’s thugs, still looking for Milo.MV5BMjE1NTI4ODk1Nl5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMzEwNTAyMw@@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,1506,1000_AL_Milo manages to rescue her at a strip club. He calls an old friend from the police force and learns that Bobby is on his way to the police’s evidence warehouse, which is being relocated to a new building. Bobby confronts Earl, who used to be his friend but has used Bobby’s name to gain access to the warehouse and steal a large amount of confiscated narcotics and cash. Bobby decides to arrest Earl, but Earl draws a gun and shoots him, though not fatally. Milo and Nicole enter the warehouse and Milo is ambushed, but Earl is forced to surrender when Nicole points a shotgun at him. Bobby explains that Earl was using him, as well as the man who supposedly committed suicide, to gain access to the warehouse. There was no proof, so Bobby was waiting for Earl to make his move before arresting him. Milo proudly notes that Earl might have gotten away with it if Nicole hadn’t picked up certain clues. He and Nicole appear to have reconciled. They concede that sometimes their jobs have to come first. By way of demonstrating this, Milo then turns Nicole into the police, so she can make her court hearing the next day.MV5BMTMxMjU5MzE1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTc5NDAyMw@@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,1506,1000_AL_On his way out of the precinct, Milo runs into a cop who insulted him earlier and punches him in the face. He is arrested and put in a cell next to Nicole’s. He reminds her that it is their anniversary and they have to spend it together, no matter what. Through the bars they admit their love to each other and kiss.MV5BMjAyMjQwMzYzN15BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMjc5NDAyMw@@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,1506,1000_AL_It’s a typical romantic comedy, with a little action, and an okay investigation part. I don’t say it’s an exceptionally good mix of these things, but still a really enjoyable one. The plot isn’t very original, generally it’s a witty love story of two people who used to love each other very much, but now can’t stand each other. Actually it has some similarities with the earlier Jennifer Aniston movie ‘The Break-up’ just it’s much better.