REVIEW: KILL SWITCH

CAST

Steven Seagal (True Justice)
Isaac Hayes (South Park)
Chris Thomas King (Ray)
Mark Collie (The Punisher)
Holly Elissa (Whistler)
Michael Filipowich (Charlie Jade)
Aliyah O’Brien (Monster Trucks)
Daniella Evangelista (The Mangler 2)
Ali Liebert (Legends of Tomorrow)
Brandi Alexander (Izombie)

Steven Seagal stars as a tough cop, Jacob King, whose brutal methods have gained him a legendary reputation among his colleagues. Seemingly indifferent to the fact his twin brother was murdered in front of him as a child, Seagal investigates a series of brutal killings, most involving young, attractive women. The murderer, Lazerus, played by Michael Filipowich, leaves cryptic, astrological clues at the crime scenes. At the same time, another murderer, Billy Joe Hill (Mark Collie), is killing women. King finds him and kicks him out a window, after which Hill seeks revenge by murdering Celine (Karyn Michelle Baltzer), whom he believes to be King’s girlfriend.King goes on a brutal rampage through the Memphis underworld with the assistance of his partner, Detective Storm Anderson (Chris Thomas King) and the coroner (Isaac Hayes). King meets FBI agent Frankie Miller (Holly Dignard) but dislikes her because she doesn’t approve of his methods. Lazerus attempts to frame King for the murder of a blonde barmaid, and Miller believes the frame and begins to pursue King. Meanwhile, King locates Lazerus and fights him, using a ball-peen hammer to break every bone in his body. He then goes after Billy Joe Hill and kills him after finding Celine dead. King then chooses to exit the scene, leaving Anderson a note explaining he’s quitting because no one likes his style of justice. The final scene shows King returning to what appears to be his Russian wife and family.The action and fight sequences are well done but I found that they ran a bit to long and that they should cut some of it out, they also do this thing where they replay a certain part of it five times over again and it gets really annoying. The acting in this is actually really good and all of the actors do a killer performance but Steven Seagal’s accent in this movie is pathetic I can’t even tell what accent it is suppose to be. I found that were many plot holes in this movie and there were many scenes where nothing was happening and it took a while before anything happened again. So I am going to end off by saying it is not bad, not good, but simply OK and it is a take it or leave it movie.

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31 DAYS OF HORROR REVIEW: SOUTH PARK: THE 31 DAYS OF HORROR HALLOWEEN EPISODES – PART 3: KORN’S GROOVY PIRATE GHOST MYSTERY

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MAIN CAST

Trey Parker (Tales From The Crapper)
Matt Stone (Orgazmo)
Isaac Hayes (Dr. Dolittle 2)

Image result for south park KORN'S GROOVY PIRATE GHOST MYSTERY

KORN’S GROOVY PIRATE GHOST MYSTERY

Image result for south park KORN'S GROOVY PIRATE GHOST MYSTERYLocal radio station KOZY 102.1 is sponsoring a “Halloween Haunt” featuring an appearance by real-life nu metal band Korn. Priest Maxi is unhappy about both and conducts a one-man protest campaign, calling Halloween an abomination of God and Korn satanists that play violent music. Stan, Kyle and Kenny are excited about Halloween, but Cartman is already thinking about Christmas because he expects to be showered with presents. They visit various mediocre attractions and get frightened by a gang of 5th graders who play a prank on them involving “pirate ghosts”. Stan decides to retaliate by digging up Kyle’s recently buried grandmother, Cleo Broflovski, and scaring the 5th graders with it. Kyle, while uneasy about the scheme, reluctantly agrees to go along.
Image result for south park KORN'S GROOVY PIRATE GHOST MYSTERYMeanwhile, Korn, driving in a van which resembles the Mystery Machine, crash it after spotting pirate ghosts on the road. After digging up Kyle’s Grandmother’s corpse, the boys leave it barely concealed at the harbor, where it is promptly eaten by a stray dog. During the night, they meet Korn (and a Scooby-Doo like character, Nibblet) after their encounter with the pirate ghosts. The following morning, the graveyard’s watchmen inform Mrs Broflovski about the missing corpse, and describe to her in graphic detail what the culprit, who they assume to be a necrophiliac, might be doing to the corpse.
Cartman intercepts a life-sized blow-up Antonio Banderas sex doll ordered by his mother, which he mistakenly assumes to be a Christmas present for him, and takes it around town to show off. The children return to the docks in their costumes hoping to win the contest for best costume, with Kenny wearing an elaborate ED-209 robot from RoboCop costume. To Kenny’s disappointment, everyone (including Korn) is able to clearly recognize him. At the town square, the grave watchers are explaining the concept of necrophilia very explicitly until the Pirate Ghosts show up and terrorize the town. A few citizens are blown up and one ghost decapitates two others. Priest Maxi shows up and blames Korn for causing all this trouble. The town gets angry and set up a lynch mob to get rid of the “devil worshipers.”

3x10-Korn-s-Groovy-Pirate-Ghost-Mystery-south-park-21144366-500-375Korn and the children go investigate the “Mystery of the Pirate Ghosts and the missing body.” After a few mishaps typical of Scooby-Doo episodes, it is revealed that Priest Maxi was behind the Pirate Ghosts, which he simply conjured up with rather impossible light tricks and sounds (the explanation to some of the citizen’s deaths earlier caused by the Pirate Ghosts is left unsolved and unknown). The mystery of Cleo Broflovski’s missing corpse is solved when the dog regurgitates the body. The Halloween Haunt goes as planned, with Korn playing “Falling Away from Me” which shocks the crowd, as their cheery personality in the episode is a strong contrast to the song. The boys get their revenge against the 5th graders while Korn is playing, scaring them with the corpse and Cartman’s Antonio Banderas doll gets popped by Nibblet. Kenny’s spectacular ED-209 costume does not win him first prize, which goes instead to Wendy Testaburger wearing the same Chewbacca costume as in the previous Season 1 Halloween Special “Pinkeye”. During the closing credits, he ends up getting killed by miniature Snowspeeders as in The Empire Strikes Back while inside his costume and rats arrive to eat his body.Image result for south park KORN'S GROOVY PIRATE GHOST MYSTERYKorn’s appearance in the Halloween show is expertly handled, as is the whole Hanna-Barbera animation send-up.

31 DAYS OF HORROR REVIEW: SOUTH PARK: THE HALLOWEEN EPISODES – PART 2: SPOOKYFISH

Image result for SOUTH PARK HALLOWEENMAIN CAST

Trey Parker (Tales From The Crapper)
Matt Stone (Orgazmo)
Isaac Hayes (Dr. Dolittle 2)

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SPOOKYFISH

Image result for south park spookyfishCartman has skipped class but shows up at the bus stop to meet the boys when they get off the bus – wearing a goatee and acting strangely agreeable. Cartman explains that he missed school that day because he was taking care of the house for his mother, who has the flu. The boys are shocked and confused at this news coming from the normally obnoxious and uncaring Cartman.
Image result for south park spookyfishLater, Stan arrives home, where his mother Sharon tells him that his Aunt Flo has come to town for her “monthly visit”. Aunt Flo gives Stan’s sister Shelly a huge stereo system and gives Stan a goldfish in a bowl. Stan doesn’t like the fish and finds it spooky because of the way it stares at him, but Sharon insists that he put it in his room.
Image result for south park spookyfishThe next morning at the bus stop, Stan and Kyle expect to meet the new nice version of Cartman, who promised to bring money for them to buy a pumpkin for carving. However, Cartman arrives in his normal obnoxious mood, proclaiming that he would never give money to them.
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Later that night, it is stormy, and the nice version of Cartman appears at Kenny’s house and gives Kenny and his family some provisions for the storm. Kenny’s father Stuart is surprised which his son confirms. Meanwhile, Stan is in bed, trying to sleep despite being repeatedly terrorized by the fish. Despite what Stan says, Sharon remains unconvinced that there is any trouble until Stan gets up and finds a dead body on the floor.
Image result for south park spookyfishStan later reflects on all of these happenings when he asks Kyle if he thinks animals can be murderers like people can, to which Kyle replies that he doesn’t know. While talking about this, they again notice a change in Cartman, who is first mean to Kenny for getting a squash for carving because he couldn’t afford a pumpkin, then after leaving the room to get a sharper knife and coming back, has a goatee and is nice to Kenny and shows him how to safely cut with a knife while singing about their all being best friends.  The following morning, Stan, Kyle and Kenny discover that the two personalities of Cartman are in fact two separate people. Chef tells the boys that the kinder version of Cartman is from an “Evil Parallel Universe” and that Stan’s fish must be from the same world. The boys decide to return the fish to the pet store, but not before it kills Kenny too. Stan, Kyle and Evil Cartman track down the Ancient Indian Burial Ground Pet Store, where they find the portal to the alternate universe. The store owner explains that the portal appeared after he built his shop on top of a literal old Indian burial ground. The store is stocked with animals that all, with the exception of Stan’s fish, have glowing red eyes.
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After returning the fish to the owner and advising him to move his store off the burial ground, the boys leave just as the Stan and Kyle from the evil world show up, also sporting goatees. Just as “evil” Cartman is the complete opposite of his good world self, “evil” Stan and Kyle are both the opposite of their good world selves and are thus cruel, wanting to bring their nice “friend” Evil Cartman back so they can torment him again. They align with the good world Cartman, who is sick of his “goody two-shoes” clone, and the trio find the good world Stan and Kyle along with Evil Cartman.

Image result for south park spookyfishThe evil Stan and Kyle have a gun that sends things back to the alternate world. Good Stan manages to get it and sends back the two clones. He and Kyle then decide to use it on Cartman – their Cartman – so that they can keep the nice one. Cartman, shocked by this, then attacks Evil Cartman and rips off his goatee. The two wrestle until Stan and Kyle do not know which is which. One Cartman says that Stan should shoot them both “for the good of the world”. Stan immediately shoots the other Cartman, stating that the “good universe” Cartman would never say that. However it is then revealed that the normal Cartman did say it in order to trick the boys into shooting Evil Cartman, and he proceeds to taunt them for being “hella stupid.” (Throughout the episode the normal Cartman uses the slang “hella” to the irritation of the other boys, and this is one of the factors in their decision to send him to the Evil Universe.)Image result for south park spookyfishTheres a great shot in the episode where the two Cartmans meet, and how it looks like a badly pulled off split screen effect – an effect they stick with throughout the episode. It’s little jokes like this, and attention to detail that set South Park apart in the early days. also theres another classic ‘Who is the good one?’ scene when The Cartmans face off. It’s funnyand clever and an early example of South Park greatness.

31 DAYS OF HALLOWEEN REVIEW: SOUTH PARK: THE HALLOWEEN EPISODES – PART 1: PINKEYE

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MAIN CAST

Trey Parker (Tales From The Crapper)
Matt Stone (Orgazmo)
Isaac Hayes (Dr. Dolittle 2)

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PINKEYE

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny are waiting for the school bus as usual when the Mir Space Station lands and kills Kenny. Kenny’s body is taken to the local morgue. One of the men at the morgue accidentally leaves a bottle of Worcestershire sauce open and its contents mix with the embalming fluid, turning Kenny into a zombie. Kenny bites the two men and leaves in the middle of the night.
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The next day Kenny rejoins his friends, who are dressed up for a Halloween costume contest. Stan is dressed as Raggedy Andy (since Wendy would be going as Raggedy Ann, thus making a pair), Kyle wears a Chewbacca mask, and Cartman is dressed as Hitler, much to the fury of Kyle, who is Jewish. A zombified Kenny joins the boys, but they fail to notice that he is a zombie. At school, Kyle gets more annoyed after discovering that the other students (as well as Mr. Hat) are also dressed as Chewbacca, while Mr. Garrison is dressed as Marilyn Monroe. Worst of all, Wendy is dressed as Chewbacca; she explains that she changed costumes because they would have looked stupid as the Raggedy couple and she figured Stan would realize it too. A stubborn Kyle decides to make a new costume so he can win the prize, two tons of candy. Both Chef (dressed as Evel Knievel) and Principal Victoria are annoyed to see Cartman dressed as Hitler. Victoria makes him a “ghost” costume but he ends up looking more like a Ku Klux Klan member, which annoys Chef even more. At the contest, which is judged by Tina Yothers, Wendy (despite wearing the same costume as the other students) wins the candy, much to the fury of Kyle, who is now dressed as the Solar System. Stan wins the worst costume and everyone laughs at him, leaving him humiliated.
Image result for SOUTH PARK PINKEYEMeanwhile, thanks to Kenny, the two men are mistakenly diagnosed to have “pinkeye”, but they turn into zombies and go around biting other people, turning them into zombies. Back home, Chef, who sees the outbreak on TV, tries to warn both the doctor and Mayor McDaniels (who is having sex with Officer Barbrady), but his pleas are ignored. The boys go trick-or-treating (Kyle now dressed as a vampire), not noticing the outbreak, and abandon Kenny, who continues to eat people. They arrive at Chef’s home, and Chef tells them what is really going on before taking them to the morgue to stop the outbreak. After discovering the hotline number on the Worcestershire sauce bottle, the boys and Chef are attacked by the zombies with Chef becoming the next victim and acting like Michael Jackson in parody of Thriller. Stan and Cartman kill the other zombies with chainsaws and Stan hesitates to kill a zombified Wendy. After Kyle discovers he has to kill the original zombie (after being told complicatedly by the hotline lady), he slices Kenny in half, killing him. The spell is broken and all the zombies turn back to normal. Stan makes up with Wendy and they are about to kiss but he ends up puking on her, leaving her disgusted.
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The episode ends with the boys mourning at Kenny’s grave and deciding to go home to eat candy as well as look at photos of Liane Cartman, who is on the cover of a porn magazine, much to the fury of Cartman claiming she was young and needed the money; Stan says the photos were taken a month ago, infuriating Cartman even more. Kenny returns as a zombie again, but a statue lands on him, followed by an airplane.Image result for SOUTH PARK PINKEYEPinkeye is a great Halloween episode. I primarily love it because the subject – a horror satire – seems ideally suited for the show’s irreverent attitude.

REVIEW: SOUTH PARK – SEASON 7

MAIN CAST

Trey Parker (Tales From The Crapper)
Matt Stone (Orgazmo)
Isaac Hayes (Dr. Dolittle 2)

Season 7 of South Park has several of my all-time SP favorites: Cancelled, Fat Butt & Pancake Head, Christian Rock Hard, Casa Bonita, and Raisins. The others are pretty good, too, although a few go a little overboard in typical SP style. Trey Parker and Matt Stone continue to demonstrate how up they are with current events. Maybe it’s the style of the animation that allows them to capitalize so quickly on news stories but, as soon as something breaks out in the world, you can be sure there will be a SP episode about it!“Cancelled”: The boys find themselves in a “Cartman Gets an Anal Probe” repeat and believe is has to due with the “hoopajoob” up his arse. A scientist discovers it is a satellite dish that transmits Earth into a universal reality program. When the Fogul Network finds out the earthlings know they are on television, they cancel the show after 100 episodes (a jab at SP, itself, which is approaching its 100th ep.). It is up to the boys to convince the network execs to save their planet from cancellation. Their encounter with the execs is the funniest part. They take them to a restaurant and ogle the females (“Will you look at the hekmars on that joozinek!”), take them to a nudie bar and snort “block,” and an adult hotel where the two execs suck each others’ “jagons” and stick their fingers in each others “threshers”.BZkp6OYCQAAwGBl“Krazy Kripples”: They really pushed the envelope with this one. Jimmy resents Christopher Reeve because he was not born a cripple but is milking his condition for attention. Jimmy and Timmy start a group called the “Crips” for those born crippled. Of course they get involved with the other group by that name and accidentally cause an accident at the “Ribs-N-Gas” (now that’s wrong), resulting in the deaths of several Bloods. Meanwhile, Reeve is obsessed with dead fetuses for his recovery. The boys do the smart thing by staying out of the controversy all together.“Toilet Paper”: The boys TP the art teacher’s house and Officer Barbrady goes on a crusade to find the perpetrators initiating the help of TP mastermind Josh Myers. Meanwhile, Kyle has a guilty conscience and has nightmares about the incident (the art teacher takes on the form of Nancy Kerrigan “Whyyyy”. The last scene is a bit contrived.Image result for south park I'm a Little Bit Country“I’m a Little Bit Country”: The town is divided over the war and Cartman forces himself into a flashback to find out what the Founding Fathers thought about the issue.

“Fat Butt & Pancake Head”: Hilarious! Perhaps the best SP ever! Cartman wins a cultural diversity contest by turning his hand into a Jennifer Lopez puppet. After making a music video at the mall, music execs at BHI records (BHE would have been funnier. it sounds like “bi*chy”) decide to fire the real J-Lo and hire Cartman’s hand. J-Lo wants revenge especially after Ben Affleck falls in love with the hand (um…yeah). The funniest part is that the hand sings only about tacos.

“Lil’ Crime Stoppers”: The boys form a SP crime unit and try to help a girl retrieve her stolen doll. They clash with kids playing FBI but outsmart them. After solving the case, the boys are made junior detectives and get more work than they bargained for.

“Red Man’s Greed”: Kyle’s dad loses his house at an Indian casino: “Their cash flows like diarrhea from the buffalo.” The Native Americans want to build a 12-lane super highway through SP to their casino and, when SP residents refuse to leave, distribute blankets infected with Saars.


“South Park is Gay”: After watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy and other such shows, the men and boys of SP become metrosexuals (except Kyle, of course). The SP women soon become fed up with their wussy men and Mr. Garrison and Mr. Slave want to take back their identity only to find out something shocking about the Queer Eye cast.

“Christian Rock Hard”: After being kicked out of the boys’ band, Cartman starts a Christian rock band to record a platinum album first. Meanwhile, the boys get busted for downloading free music and decide to boycott playing until people stop the practice that keeps Lars Ulrich from building his gold bar or whatever. Cartman’s insincerity is hilarious as always: “I Wasn’t Born Again Yesterday.”

“Grey Dawn”: Parker and Stone show again how up they are on current events when they put out this episode soon after a 75-year old drove through a farmer’s market. The same thing happens here and, after the “Night of Horrors,” when all old people were driving at once, killing 14 and causing $3 million in damages, the town takes away their licenses. The AARP wants to take over until they find out the Country Kitchen Buffet is closed.

“Casa Bonita”: After finding out Butters is invited to Kyle’s birthday party at Casa Bonita instead of him, Cartman will go to any lengths to take Butters’s place, including faking the end of the world and hiding Butters in a bomb shelter and an abandoned refrigerator.Image result for south park all about mormons“All About Mormons”: There’s a new kid in town and Stan discovers he is very nice with a great Mormon family. When Stan’s father meets them, he converts his family to Mormon, but Stan is skeptical of his new faith when he hears the story of Joseph Smith.

“Butt Out!”: After seeing geeks doing an anti-smoking concert at the school, the boys decide smoking must be where it’s at. When they accidentally burn down the school with cigarette butts, the parents blame the tobacco companies and Rob Reiner, looking as fat as Sally Struthers, arrives to start a media war against Big Tobacco.

“Raisins”: Wendy breaks up with Stan (I didn’t know they were still going out), and Stan is so distraught, his friends take him to “Raisins” (an adolescent “Hooters”). Stan joins a goth group and Butters believes a Raisins waitress is in love with him.“It’s Christmas in Canada”: The new Canadian prime minister passes a decree returning all adopted children to their Canadian birth parents. When Ike is taken from him, Kyle and the boys go on a Wizard of Oz adventure in Canada to get him back: “Follow the only road.”Image result for south park It's Christmas in CanadaSouth Park has managed to mature while still keeping its edge.

REVIEW: SOUTH PARK – SEASON 6

MAIN CAST

Trey Parker (Tales From The Crapper)
Matt Stone (Orgazmo)
Isaac Hayes (Dr. Dolittle 2)

South Park reached a real peak around this time: it is difficult to say whether this or the previous season scored more winners, but it is certainly amongst the best material. This season saw the temporary demise of staple character Kenny, although the character is still a major plot device and regular via some imaginative routines. In his place is Butters, and what a substitution.

The opening episodes, wherein the other three protagonists – open-minded Stan and Kyle, and shameless bigot Cartman – try and replace Kenny with Butters are fine moments, with ‘Jared has Aides’ and ‘Freak Strike’ leading the charge. Once the group tire of Butters and replace him with Tweek, Butters attempts to take on a darker persona, leading to the creation of ‘Professor Chaos’; unfortunately, Butters just can’t do bad, although the following episode where he tries to get started – ‘The Simpsons Already Did It’, is possibly one of the best episodes, with two great parallel stories that actually tie in with each other and the point of the show… that nothing is new, it’s all been done, and that everyone should get a go, which was no doubt reaction to accusations that anyone with the audacity to make a cartoon with families in that do stuff was plagiarizing the Simpsons, which was prevalent thinking at the time.


Other notable episodes here are ‘Red Hot Catholic Love’ – best described as an attempt to discuss consequences of the deviation of causes and faiths from their origins – ‘Free Hat’ – a simultaneous attack on mob-with-a-cause mentality and the Lucas/Spielberg obsession with updating their old films and making them worse – and, well, pretty much every episode after that, with Lord of the Rings, media hysteria, psychic mediums, social over-tolerance and alternative discipline all getting some sort of bashing or other. And two episodes – ‘Jared has Aides’ and ‘Child Abduction is not Funny’ – both provide airtime for the City Wok owner, who is perhaps the character we should feel most ashamed for laughing at… but he is funny.

Of course, all this means controversy; Butters getting beaten offscreen by his parents, which is not funny in itself but rather a dark look at Cartman’s idea of funny… the whole priest/paedophile thing, which is reactionary to a current story of the time… AIDS jokes, which again was reactionary… Mr. Slave and the ‘gerbil incident’… City Wok guy… and, to cap it all off, the decidedly doubly-ironic Christmas message at the end of ‘Red Sleigh Down’.

It isn’t always perfect – ‘Fun with Veal’ and ‘Asspen’ are a little weak – but overall, their marriage of the profane and the profound never really worked as well as it did around this time. Another great South Park season.

REVIEW: SOUTH PARK – SEASON 5

MAIN CAST

Trey Parker (Tales From The Crapper)
Matt Stone (Orgazmo)
Isaac Hayes (Dr. Dolittle 2)

Season  5 is definitely a must see for any fan of the long-running satirical animation. The easily-offended need not apply, as this fifth season proves to be one of the show’s most joyously offensive and darkly humored.

Beginning with “Scott Tenorman Must Die”, one of the show’s most famous, and most-loved, episodes. One of the most shockingly, and guiltily, funny episodes of the show ever. Then there’s the infamous “It Hits The Fan”, a mocking episode in which a certain word is repeated uncensored 162 times in total.

Then there’s the tongue-in-cheek “Cripple Fight”, followed by scientology/David Blaine spoof “Super Best Friends”, followed by change-in-style “Terrence & Phillip: Behind the Blow” installment, and then one of my personal favourites in the hernia-inducingly funny “Cartmanland”.

From there, “South Park: Series 5” only pushes the limit on offensiveness and in-your-face satire. The crude and brilliant “Proper Condom Use”, the iffy “Towelie” is the weakest episode of the bunch, “Osama Bin Laden Has Farty Pants” is a hilarious spoof of the old Bugs Bunny vs Elmer Fudd ‘tunes’, “How to Eat with Your Butt” isn’t particularly brilliant in its methods but gets you laughing easily, “The Entity” is a trend-setter in the series where Cartman fully transcends into the hateful, idiotic racist we know today, “Here Comes the Neighborhood” isn’t one of the series’ best but does alright, and “Kenny Dies” sees Kenny leave the show completely — if only until the end of season 6.

Closing with what is perhaps the series’ best episode, “Butters’ Very Own Episode”, “South Park: Series 5” is a delightful and unashamedly in-your-face-and-offensive series of what, in my opinion, has been one of  television’s best animated series since at least 1999. An utterly brilliant and wholly superb animation.