REVIEW: THE WITCHER – SEASON 1

Henry Cavill, Freya Allan, and Anya Chalotra in The Witcher (2019)

Main Cast

Henry Cavill (Man of Steel)
Anya Chalotra (Wanderlust)
Freya Allan (The Third Day)
Joey Batey (The White Queen)
MyAnna Buring (Ripper Street)
Royce Pierreson (Thor: The Dark World)
Eamon Farren (Chained)
Mimi Ndiweni (The Legend of Tarzan)
Wilson Radjou-Pujalte (Hunter Street)
Anna Shaffer (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince)
Mahesh Jadu (I, Frankenstein)

Henry Cavill in The Witcher (2019)

Recurring / Notable Guest Cast

Lars Mikkelsen (House of Cards)
Emma Appleton (Clique)
Jodhi May (Sister My Sister)
Adam Levy (Rome)
Björn Hlynur Haraldsson (Agnes Joy)
Therica Wilson-Read (Fox Trap)
Shaun Dooley (Eden Lake)
Julian Rhind-Tutt (Lucy)
Ben Wiggins (Anna and The Apocalypse)
Anna-Louise Plowman (Stargate SG.1)
Josette Simon (Wonder Woman)

Henry Cavill in The Witcher (2019)Piecing together what’s going on at any given time in “The Witcher” is both impossible and insignificant. Netflix’s big-budget fantasy adaptation looks like “Game of Thrones” and plays like “The OA” — an extravagant budget fueling a ludicrous premise. Frankly, it should be a catastrophe, and yet the batshit energy driving a slew of increasingly odd choices makes for a pretty entertaining spectacle.Henry Cavill in The Witcher (2019)Based on Andrzej Sapkowski’s books (which have already been adapted into a popular video game series), “The Witcher” tells the wild tales of Geralt of Rivia, the eponymous witcher played by “Witcher” enthusiast Henry Cavill, who travels from town to town accepting missions in exchange for “coin.” Usually his quests are focused on killing a monster. Sometimes they involve taking baths — which are, surprisingly, an extremely important act for anyone who loves the “Witcher” video games and books.Lars Mikkelsen and Anya Chalotra in The Witcher (2019)Whatever Geralt does, he does with a lovable bluntness, made even more appealing by Cavill’s growly performance — and the absolute mess that makes up the rest of the show. You see, Geralt’s storylines are pretty much episodic; each new episode brings a new mission, just like sections of a video game. It’s easy to track what he’s doing because the goals are explained to him by whatever weirdo hires ol’ Gerry. In the second entry, he’s helping shoo away a grain-stealing devil. In the third, he’s chasing a rare creature that likes eating people’s guts.But when not focused on Geralt, “The Witcher” gets very, very messy. There’s a mage-in-training named Yennefer (yes, Yennefer!), who just kind of hovers in the B-plot for the first four episodes. Played with startling conviction by Anya Chalotra, Yen-eh-fur’s plot holds together with a kind of dream logic, where you may not know exactly how things are happening, but you get the gist as to why. The same cannot be said for Princess Ciri (Freya Allan), a little girl who escapes a crumbling castle with only two words of advice: Find Geralt.Henry Cavill in The Witcher (2019)That it takes more than the five episodes provided to critics for her to do so — or even find people, places, or things connected to Geralt — disconnects Ciri from the core story in what feels like an irretrievable way. Maybe she’ll form a Baby Yoda-like partnership with her witcher-destiny by Season 2, learning the witcher tricks of the trade while being protected by her witcher at all costs. But for now, she’s just kind of weird, hard-to-connect-with baggage in a show that’s so freaking strange that anything extra risks turning everyone but the die-hard fans off.Henry Cavill in The Witcher (2019)And “strange” is an understatement. For newcomers, there’s a lot to absorb, starting with Geralt’s name. A witcher isn’t a witch, but a species that’s shunned aside by humanity and forced to fend for themselves by fighting monsters and performing other unwanted tasks. He’s got powers, but they’re not that powerful — Geralt will let off a burst of energy when in a close-quarters battle, but he doesn’t do it that often, and it’s unclear if the blast equates to more than a shove. Like the actor embodying him, Geralt’s most telling attribute is his towering physique and sword skills. He seems like a really good warrior, who can sometimes do magic when the story requires it.Henry Cavill in The Witcher (2019)Yennefer, meanwhile, goes through a physical and spiritual transformation that’s so bonkers I dare not spoil it here. I also can’t spoil it here, because even explaining it to my curious friends proved impossible. There are a lot of parts in “The Witcher” like that; scenes that feel too absurd to be spoken aloud, let alone taken as seriously as the “Witcher” team does, but it’s exactly that dedication to the series’ fantastical elements that make it work. Cavill has spoken at length about how badly he wanted this role, and his commitment not only makes the show that much better, but it’s clearly mirrored by everyone on set.Henry Cavill in The Witcher (2019)“The Witcher” isn’t for everyone, and it’s not trying to be. The soapy scheming that drove people to choose sides in “Game of Thrones” isn’t here. Neither is the tender romance of “Outlander,” the big-minded ambition of “The OA,” or the coherence of, I don’t know, “Vikings.” But that’s OK. “The Witcher” is “The Witcher,” and nothing else matters. Just go with it.

 

HALLOWEEN OF HORROR REVIEW: BLOOD CREEK

Starring

Dominic Purcell (Legends of Tomorrow)
Henry Cavill (Man of Steel)
Michael Fassbender (Prometheus)
Emma Booth (Glitch)
Rainer Winkelvoss (After The Truth)
Shea Whigham (Agent Carter)
Wentworth Miller (The Loft)
Lynn Collins (John Carter)

Emma Booth in Town Creek (2009)In 1936, a German professor, Richard Wirth, is hosted by the Wollners, a family of German emigrants in West Virginia. The Wollners believe him to be a visiting scholar, but Wirth turns out to be a Nazi occultist who seeks a Viking runestone buried on their property. When Wirth reveals he wants to use it for evil, he is interrupted by the family, who trap him in their basement and bind him through a ritual that requires frequent human sacrifices. Linked to Wirth, the family survive through the decades, operating as both captors and servants to Wirth, who they keep weakened.Henry Cavill, Dominic Purcell, and Emma Booth in Town Creek (2009)In 2007, 25-year-old Evan Marshall is surprised when his older brother Victor suddenly appears after having disappeared during a camping trip in rural West Virginia. Victor explains that he has escaped his captors, and they quickly prepare to return for vengeance. The brothers head to the farm and confront the Wollners. They, in turn, warn the siblings about Wirth. They do not listen until Wirth gets out of the cellar and begins his terror. Wirth reveals that the reason Victor was able to escape was because Wirth knew that Victor would come back to the farm for revenge and would eventually free him from the Wollners, so he let Victor go on purpose. The brothers manage to poison and decapitate Wirth, but as a result the Wollners rapidly turn old and die. Before the youngest dies, she tells Evan that SS leader Heinrich Himmler has sent eight more Nazi agents to different farms. Evan finds a map that was under the farm and discovers that others like Wirth are at other farms. While Victor returns home to his family, Evan heads out to the other farms to stop the Nazis.Dominic Purcell in Town Creek (2009)No, this isn’t a ‘classic’ film in any sense. But it’s got good performances, excellent visual design, all the blood and gore you could ask for, and a whole bunch of solid action that could almost make a film on its own. I enjoyed the weird mix from end to end, and I can’t see why any horror aficionado wouldn’t.

REVIEW: JUSTICE LEAGUE

CAST

Ben Affleck (Gone Girl)
Henry Cavill (Immortals)
Gal Gadot (Keeping Up with the Joneses)
Ezra Miller (We Need To Talk About Kevin)
Jason Momoa (Game of Thrones)
Ray Fisher (True Detective)
Amy Adams (American Hustle)
Jeremy Irons (Beautiful Creatures)
Diane Lane (Hollywoodland)
Connie Nielsen (Gladiator)
J. K. Simmons (Whiplash)
Ciarán Hinds (The Woman In Black)
David Thewlis (War Horse)
Robin Wright (Blade Runner 2049)
Amber Heard (Machete Kills)
Julian Lewis Jones (Zero Dark Thirty)
Joe Morton (Terminator 2)
Joe Manganiello (Rampage)
Jesse Eisenberg (The Scoial Network)
Michael McElhatton (Game of Thrones)
Holt McCallany (The Losers)
Marc McClure (Superman)
Billy Crudup (Watchmen)
Ann Ogbomo (Krypton)
Lisa Loven Kongsli (The Lion Woman)

 

Ben Affleck and Jason Momoa in Justice League (2017)Thousands of years ago, Steppenwolf and his legions of Parademons attempt to take over Earth with the combined energies of three Mother Boxes. They are foiled by a unified army that includes the Olympian Gods, Amazons, Atlanteans, mankind, and the Green Lantern Corps. After repelling Steppenwolf’s army, the Mother Boxes are separated and hidden in locations on the planet. In the present, mankind is in mourning over Superman, whose death triggers the Mother Boxes to reactivate and Steppenwolf’s return to Earth in an effort to regain favor with his master, Darkseid. Steppenwolf aims to gather the artifacts to form “The Unity”, which will destroy Earth’s ecology and terraform it in the image of Steppenwolf’s homeworld.Ben Affleck, J.K. Simmons, Gal Gadot, and Ezra Miller in Justice League (2017)Steppenwolf retrieves the Mother Box from Themyscira, prompting Queen Hippolyta to warn her daughter Diana of Steppenwolf’s return. Diana joins Bruce Wayne in his attempt to unite other metahumans to their cause, with Wayne going after Arthur Curry and Barry Allen, while Diana tries to locate Victor Stone. Wayne fails to persuade Curry, but manages to recruit an enthusiastic Allen onto the team. Although Diana fails to convince Stone to join, he agrees to help them locate the threat if he discovers their location. Stone later joins the team after his father Silas, along with several other S.T.A.R. Labs employees, is kidnapped by Steppenwolf seeking to acquire the Mother Box from mankind.Gal Gadot in Justice League (2017)Steppenwolf attacks Atlantis to retrieve the next Mother Box, forcing Curry into action. The team receives intel from Commissioner James Gordon leading them to Steppenwolf’s army, based in an abandoned facility under Gotham Harbor. Although the group manages to rescue the kidnapped employees, the facility is flooded during combat, which traps the team until Curry helps delay the flood so they can escape. Stone retrieves the last Mother Box, which he had hidden, for the group to analyze. Stone reveals that his father used the Mother Box to rebuild Stone’s body after an accident almost cost him his life. Facing overwhelming odds against Steppenwolf’s army, Wayne decides to use the Mother Box to resurrect Superman, not only to help them fight off Steppenwolf’s invasion, but also to restore hope to mankind. Diana and Curry are hesitant about the idea, but Wayne forms a secret contingency plan in case Superman returns as a nemesis.Ben Affleck, Gal Gadot, and Ezra Miller in Justice League (2017)Clark Kent’s body is exhumed and placed in the amniotic fluid of the genesis chamber of the Kryptonian ship alongside the Mother Box, which in turn activates and successfully resurrects Superman. However, Superman’s memories have not returned, and he attacks the group after Stone accidentally launches a projectile at him. On the verge of being killed by Superman, Batman enacts his contingency plan: Lois Lane. Superman calms down and leaves with Lane to his family home in Smallville, where he reflects and his memories slowly come back. In the turmoil, the last Mother Box is left unguarded, and Steppenwolf retrieves it with ease. Without Superman to aid them, the five heroes travel to a village in Russia where Steppenwolf aims to unite the Mother Boxes once again and remake Earth. The team fights their way through the Parademons to reach Steppenwolf, although they are unable to distract him enough for Stone to separate the Mother boxes. Superman arrives and assists Allen in evacuating the city, as well as Stone in separating the Mother Boxes. The team defeats Steppenwolf, who, overcome with fear, is attacked by his own Parademons before they all teleport away.Jason Momoa, Gal Gadot, Ezra Miller, and Ray Fisher in Justice League (2017)In the aftermath of the battle, Bruce and Diana agree to set up a base of operations for the team, with room for more members. Diana steps back into the public spotlight as a hero; Barry acquires a job in Central City’s police department, impressing his father; Victor continues to explore and enhance his abilities with his father in S.T.A.R. Labs; Arthur returns to Atlantis; and Superman resumes his life as reporter Clark Kent. In a mid-credits scene, Barry and Clark compete in a race to the Pacific coast to see who is faster. In a post-credits scene, Lex Luthor puts a decoy in his place and escapes from Arkham Asylum, and then recruits Slade Wilson to form their own league.Its the same old story when it come to films. Critics demolish a film and people who are interested to watch it don’t and end up watching it illegally then realizing it was amazing. I experienced this when great reviews came out for guardians of the galaxy 2, I went to watch it and hated it. I enjoyed this film personally but don’t take my word for it go watch it for your self. The movie brings together what we all hoped for, a team. its fun, bright and energetic with a balance of seriousness.

 

 

REVIEW: BATMAN V SUPERMAN: DAWN OF JUSTICE

CAST
Ben Affleck (Argo)
Henry Cavill (Immortals)
Amy Adams (American Hustle)
Jesse Eisenberg (The Social Network)
Diane Lane (Hollywoodland)
Laurence Fishburne (Hannibal)
Jeremy Irons (Lolita)
Holly Hunter (Crash)
Gal Gadot (Fast And Furious 6)
Scoot McNairy (Monsters)
Tao Okamoto (The Wolverine)
Lauren Cohan (The Walking Dead)
Michael Shannon (Boardwalk empire)
Michael Cassidy (Smallville)
Ray Fisher (The Astronaut Wives Club)
Ezra Miller (Trainwreck)
Harry Lennix (Dollhouse)
Joe Morton (Speed)
Jeffrey Dean Morgan (The Losers)
Carla Gugino (Watchmen)
Patrick Wilson (Hard Candy)
Jason Momoa (Stargate Atlantis)
Jena Malone (Saved)
Callan Mulvey (Zero Dark Thirty)
Rebecca Buller (Sirens)
Emily Peterson (The Jamz)
Joseph Cranford (Better Call Saul)
Kevin Costner (The New Daughter)
Eighteen months after the destructive attack by General Zod in Metropolis from Man of Steel, Superman has become a controversial figure. Daily Planet journalist Clark Kent, Superman’s alter ego, has moved in with Lois Lane. Bruce Wayne, who has operated in Gotham City as the vigilante “Batman” for nearly two decades, sees Superman as a potential threat to humanity. After learning of Batman’s activities, Superman also views him as a threat, and seeks to stop him via the Daily Planet articles authored by him as Kent.
Wayne learns that Russian weapon-trafficker Anatoli Knyazev has been contacting LexCorp’s mogul Lex Luthor. Meanwhile, Luthor tries to convince Senator June Finch to allow him to import Kryptonite retrieved from the Indian Ocean following the results of Zod’s terraforming attempt, claiming to use it as a “deterrent” against Kryptonians, but she denies the request. He also makes side dealings with Finch’s subordinate and demands access to Zod’s body and the Kryptonian scout ship.
Wayne attends Luthor’s party at LexCorp, where he meets mysterious antiques dealer Diana Prince, and retrieves data from the company’s mainframe. The data drive, however, is stolen by Prince, who later returns it to Wayne after she is unable to decrypt the data. While decrypting the drive at the Batcave, Wayne has a dream of a post-apocalyptic world, where he leads a group of rebels against Superman. He is snapped out of the dream by an unidentified time traveler, who warns him of Lane’s crucial role in the distant future, and urges him to find “the others”. Wayne later realizes that Luthor is not only experimenting with Kryptonite, but also investigating metahumans. One of them is Prince herself, who is an immortal warrior. Wayne admits to Alfred Pennyworth that he plans to steal the Kryptonite to weaponize it, should it become necessary to fight Superman. Batman pursues a convoy carrying the Kryptonite to LexCorp, but Superman interferes and orders him to cease his activities.
Luthor orchestrates a bombing at a congressional hearing where Finch is questioning Superman on the validity of his actions, which have resulted in deaths of civilians. The bomb kills dozens of people, including Finch. Frustrated with failing to save people, Superman goes into self-imposed exile. Batman breaks into LexCorp and steals the Kryptonite, planning to use it to battle Superman by building a powered exoskeleton, and creating a Kryptonite grenade launcher and a Kryptonite-tipped spear. Meanwhile, Luthor enters the Kryptonian ship and learns of its functions, as well as recorded alien worlds.
Luthor kidnaps Martha Kent, Clark’s adoptive mother. He reveals that he has manipulated Superman and Batman by fueling their animosity of each other. Luthor forces Superman to fight and kill Batman in exchange for Martha’s life. Superman tries to reason with Batman, but Batman instigates a fight and ultimately gains the upper hand thanks to the kryptonite grenades. Before Batman can kill Superman with the spear, Superman urges Batman to “save Martha”, whose name is also shared with Wayne’s late mother. Lane arrives and explains the situation, convincing Batman that Superman is not a threat. Upon learning of Luthor’s plan, Batman leaves to rescue Martha, while Superman confronts Luthor on the scout ship. Surprised at his own defeat, Luthor executes his backup plan, unleashing a genetically-engineered monster with DNA from Zod’s body and his own. However, Diana Prince arrives unexpectedly. Revealing her metahuman nature, she joins forces with them to fight the creature. However, they are soon outmatched by its power, as it is can absorb and redirect energy. Realizing that it is vulnerable to Kryptonite, Superman retrieves the Kryptonite spear and attacks the monster. With Batman and Prince’s help distracting it, Superman impales the creature. As it dies, the creature stabs and kills Superman with one of its bone protrusions.
Luthor is arrested, and while speaking to Batman he gloats that Superman’s death has made the world vulnerable to powerful alien threats. A memorial is held for Superman in Metropolis. Clark is also declared dead and Wayne, Lane, Martha, and Prince attend a private funeral for him in Smallville. Martha gives an envelope to Lane which contains an engagement ring from Clark. After the funeral, Wayne reveals to Prince that he plans to form a team of metahumans, starting with the ones from Luthor’s files, to help protect the world in Superman’s absence. After they leave, a faint heartbeat echoes from Clark’s coffin and the dirt around it begins to levitate.

Once a movie that i was extremely nervous about stepping into, just happened to turn out to be my favorite superhero movie, and probably will for years to come, very interesting aspect of the movie was using the flaws of the first installment of the comic book universe and building upon those mishaps to create a much better and more compelling story. In this Ultimate Edition, there are both Theatrical Version (151 mins, in both 2D and 3D) and the Ultimate Version (extended Cut, 182 mins, only in 2D). I would strongly recommend the Extended Cut, because the extra information is helpful to tie in different events.

REVIEW: HELLRAISER VIII: HELLWORLD

CAST

Doug Bradley (Wrong Turn 5)
Lance Henriksen (Aliens)
Kathryn Winnick (Vikings)
Christopher Jacot (Slasher)
Khary Payton (Teen Titans)
Henry Cavill (Man of Steel)

The film introduces a circle of youths who are addicted to playing Hellworld, an online computer game based on the Hellraiser series. The film opens at the funeral of Adam, one of their friends who was obsessed with the game and ultimately committed suicide after becoming too immersed in the game. The remaining five friends blame themselves for not having prevented Adam’s suicide.

Two years later, they attend a private Hellworld Party at an old mansion after receiving invites through the game. Mike, Derrick and Allison are enthusiastic about the party, while Chelsea reluctantly accompanies them. Jake, who is still very much distressed by Adam’s death, only agrees to show up after a female Hellworld player with whom he has struck up an online friendship asks him to attend so they can meet. The quintet are cordially welcomed by the middle-aged party host, who offers them drinks, shows them around the mansion (allegedly a former convent and asylum also built by Philip Lemarchand), and provides them with cell phones to communicate with other guests.

As the party progresses, Allison, Derrick and Mike find themselves trapped in separate parts of the house, and are gruesomely killed by the Host, Pinhead, or Cenobite minions Chatterer II and Bound. Jake and Chelsea become mysteriously invisible to other party guests, and are stalked by the Host and the Cenobites.

Holing herself up in the attic, Chelsea finds items belonging to Adam, and discovers that the host is his father, who blames his son’s friends for not helping break his addiction. Chelsea and Jake try to flee, only to discover that they have been buried alive and are receiving messages from the host via cell phones in their respective caskets. The Host informs them that they are just coming out of a hallucination induced by a powerful psychedelic he exposed them to upon their arrival, and that the events they have been experiencing have been the result of hypnotic suggestion and their own guilty consciences. Before leaving, he lets Chelsea know that Allison, Derrick, and Mike have all perished in their respective caskets, and that only she and Jake remain alive. Chelsea begins to slip into another hallucination when she is abruptly pulled above ground by police and paramedics, who say they were informed by a phone call from Chelsea’s telephone. Looking towards the house, Chelsea sees Adam standing in the window.

Later, the Host sits in a bedroom, going through a suitcase containing Adam’s possessions. He finds and opens the actual Lament Configuration, which summons the real Cenobites. Pinhead praises Adam’s ingenuity and mocks the Host’s disbelief before Chatterer and Bound tear him to pieces. Jake and Chelsea are shown driving into the sunrise, when they receive a mysterious phone call from the Host, who suddenly appears in the back seat. The two almost crash the car but are able to stop it. The last scene shows the police entering the bedroom in which the Host opened the box, the walls blood-smeared and the box lying on the floor.Image result for hellraiser hellworldThis is easily one of the most underrated and enjoyable entries in the series. Perhaps more than in any of the other sequels thus far, this one manages to really find a way of getting the Cenobites onto screen in a great way. The concept of the video game and tying that into the history of the series as the means for revenge here is pretty creative and really has some good points. The different encounters with the Cenobites here are just part of the fun that really makes for exciting set-pieces throughout with the use of the house helping in the fun.

 

 

REVIEW: TRISTAN & ISOLDE

CAST

James Franco (This Is The End)
Sophia Myles (Underworld)
Rufus Sewell (A Knight’s Tale)
David O’ Hara (Wanted)
Mark Strong (John Carter)
Henry Cavill (Man of Steel)
Ronan Vibert (Dracula Untold)
Lucy Russelll (World War Z)
JB Blanc (War Dogs)
Dexter Fletcher (Kick-Ass)
Thomas Brodie-Sangster (Game of Thrones)

The film is set in Great Britain and Ireland, in the Dark Ages, after the fall of the Roman Empire in the 5th century. Lord Marke of Cornwall plans to unify the peoples of Britain – Celts, Angles, Saxons, and Jutes – under himself as high king to resist Irish domination.
Most lords agree to this, as Marke is highly regarded and respected as a fair and courageous leader. The Irish king Donnchadh discovers this and sends troops to attack a Jutish castle where a treaty between the British tribes is being discussed. The raid claims the lives of the castle’s lord and his wife, but Marke manages to save their son, Tristan, at the cost of losing a hand. Feeling compassion for the young boy, whose father loyally supported him, Marke welcomes Tristan into his home and regards him as a son.

Nine years later, Tristan has grown into a fierce, courageous warrior whose loyalty to Marke is not that of a knight to his lord, but rather a son to his father. Tristan and other Cornish warriors launch an attack on an Irish slave caravan. Tristan fights Morholt, the champion and leader of the army of Donnchadh, whose lord’s daughter, Princess Isolde, has been promised to Morholt in marriage. Though Tristan kills Morholt and Donnchadh’s forces are overrun, he is severely wounded in the fight and believed dead, though he is in fact only suffering the effects of Morholt’s poisoned sword.

Tristan’s body is put out to sea on a funeral boat which eventually washes up along the shores of Ireland. He is discovered by Isolde and her maid, Bragnae, who administer an antidote that revives him. Bragnae insists that Isolde conceal her identity so Isolde tells Tristan her name is Bragnae. Tristan and Isolde fall in love as she nurses him back to health. The two lovers must separate after Tristan’s boat is discovered. Tristan returns to Cornwall and receives a hero’s welcome. A confused but overjoyed Marke welcomes him back with open arms.

Plotting to defeat Britain, Donnchadh proposes a peace treaty, promising his daughter Isolde in marriage to the winner of a tournament. Tristan wins the tournament on behalf of Marke, unaware that “the prize” is the woman he fell in love with in Ireland. When he discovers the truth about Isolde, he is heartbroken to see her betrothed to Marke, but accepts it since the marriage will end “a hundred years of bloodshed.” Marke is kind to Isolde and genuinely falls in love with her. Isolde grows fond of him, but her heart still belongs to Tristan. Isolde tells Tristan that she is his anytime he wants. Tristan is torn between his love for Isolde and his loyalty to Marke, a man whom he loves as a father. Marke is confused over what is tormenting Tristan and disappointed by the distance he is putting between them.
Tristan eventually gives in to Isolde; they renew their love and begin an affair behind Marke’s back. The affair is discovered by Lord Wictred, a longstanding dissenter to Marke’s leadership. He informs Donnchadh of the affair and they conspire to use their love to overthrow Marke, with Wictred getting Marke’s throne in exchange. Marke confides in Tristan that he believes Isolde is having an affair. Tristan is tormented by the guilt and burns down the bridge where he would meet Isolde. After Marke and Isolde’s coronation, Tristan attempts to end their relationship, but Isolde begs him not to leave her. They are caught in an embrace by Marke, Donnchadh, and the other British kings. Donnchadh pretends to be furious that his daughter is being treated as a “whore” and ends the alliance. Seeing this as weakness on Marke’s part, the other kings also decide to part ways with him.

Marke is hurt and furious over his wife and son-figure’s betrayal. He tells Tristan he has ruined everything and that he wishes that he had never saved his life. However, after Isolde explains their history, Marke relents. Tristan is taken to the river and Isolde tells him that Marke is letting them run away together. Tristan puts Isolde in the boat meant for their escape and tells her that if they leave they will be remembered for all time as those “whose love brought down a kingdom.” Tristan pushes the boat away from the shore and runs off to the ensuing battle. At the same time, Marke’s nephew and Tristan’s old friend, Melot (Henry Cavill), resentful of his uncle’s long favouring of Tristan, shows Wictred an old passage into the Roman foundations of Marke’s castle. Wictred had made Melot believe that he will become king when Marke is defeated. Once they are in the passage, Wictred stabs Melot and sneaks his army into the castle. Marke and his forces swiftly become pinned down by Donnchadh’s army outside the castle and Wictred’s men within.

Tristan sneaks back into the castle via the secret tunnel, which he used to carry out his affair with Isolde. On the way, he finds the dying Melot; the old friends forgive one another before he dies. Tristan emerges from the tunnel and attacks Wictred’s men, allowing Marke’s soldiers to secure the castle, but he is mortally wounded in combat by Wictred, whom he still manages to kill. Now outnumbered, Tristan, Marke and the soldiers loyal to him emerge from the castle and present Wictred’s severed head to Donnchadh. Marke urges the British kings standing with the Irish to aid them in making Britain a single, free nation. Inspired by his words, the British kings and their men attack Donnchadh and his army.

As a fierce battle between the British and Irish erupts, Marke carries a dying Tristan to the river, where they are met by Isolde. Marke leaves to lead the British to victory, while Tristan eventually dies in Isolde’s arms after uttering his last words: “You were right. I don’t know if life is greater than death. But love was more than either.” Isolde sees to his burial beneath the ashes of the Roman villa where they had met to be with each other. She plants two willows by the grave, which grow intertwined. She then disappears from history and is never seen again. Marke, it is said, defeated the Irish, united Britain, then ruled in peace until the end of his days.

This movie has all the things you expect from a historic epic. Battles, betrayal and larger than life kind of love that ends in tragedy.

REVIEW: STARDUST

CAST

Charlie Cox (Daredevil TV)
Claire Danes (Terminator 3)
Ian McKellen (The Hobbit)
Michelle Pfeiffer (Dark Shadows)
Robert De Niro (Limitless)
Sienna Miller (Layer Cake)
Ricky Gervais (The Invention of Lying)
Peter O’Toole (Supergirl)
Ben Barnes  (The Chronicles of Narnia 2)
Henry Cavill  (Man of Steel)
Mark Strong (Green Lantern)
Jason Flemyng  (X-men: First Class)
Rupert Everett (Shrek 2)
Julian Rhind-Tutt (Rabbit Fever)
David Walliams (Little Britain)
Sarah Alexander (Green Wing)
Joanna Scanlan (The Bad Education Movie)
Mark Williams (Harry Potter)
Dexter Fletcher (Cockneys vs Zombies)

A village lies near a gap in a stone wall bordering the magical kingdom of Stormhold. The gap is guarded constantly but Dunstan Thorn manages to go through and meets an enslaved princess, Una. She offers him a glass snowdrop in exchange for a kiss, then invites him on her trailer. Nine months later, the Wall Guard delivers a baby to Dunstan, saying his name is Tristan.Eighteen years later, the dying king of Stormhold throws a ruby into the sky, decreeing that his successor will be the first of his fratricidal sons to recover it. The gem hits a star, they fall together and the remaining sons, Primus and Septimus independently search for the gem.In Wall, Tristan sees the star fall and vows to get it for the object of his infatuation, Victoria, in return for her hand in marriage. Tristan learns that his mother is from beyond the wall, and receives a Babylon candle that she had left for him, which instantly takes the user to any desired location. Tristan lights it and is transported to the fallen star, personified as a beautiful woman named Yvaine. He promptly chains her to take her home to Victoria.Three ancient witches in Stormhold resolve to eat the fallen star’s heart to recover their youth and replenish their powers. Their leader, Lamia, eats the remnants of an earlier star’s heart, and sets off to find Yvaine. She conjures up a wayside inn as a trap.Yvaine becomes tired, so Tristan chains her to a tree and promises to bring food. In his absence, a unicorn releases her but unwittingly takes her to Lamia’s inn. Tristan discovers Yvaine gone, but the stars whisper that she is in danger, telling him to get on a passing stagecoach, which happens to be Primus’s. At the inn, they interrupt Lamia’s attempt to kill Yvaine. Lamia kills Primus, but Tristan and Yvaine use the Babylon candle to escape into the clouds, where they are captured by pirates in a flying ship who teach Tristan how to fence.Septimus discovers that, as the last surviving son, he need only find the stone to claim the throne. He learns it is in the possession of the fallen star and realises that the heart of a star grants immortality. After leaving Captain Shakespeare’s ship, Tristan and Yvaine confess their love for one another and spend the night together at an inn. Come morning, Tristan leaves Yvaine sleeping and goes to Wall with a lock of her hair, to tell Victoria he won’t marry her, having fallen in love with Yvaine. When the lock turns to dust, he realises Yvaine will die if she crosses the wall, and rushes back to save her.Yvaine finds Tristan gone, and starts walking towards the wall, thinking he abandoned her for Victoria. Tristan’s mother Una notices Yvaine walking to her doom, so takes the caravan of her enslaver, a witch named Ditchwater Sal, to the wall to stop her. Lamia arrives, kills Sal, and captures Una and Yvaine, taking them to the witches’ castle. Septimus and Tristan both pursue Lamia, agreeing to work together for the time being. Barging into the castle, Septimus recognises the princess as his long-lost sister and Una informs Tristan that she is his mother.Septimus and Tristan kill two of the witches, but Lamia uses a voodoo doll to kill Septimus and make his corpse fight Tristan. Lamia is about to finish Tristan off, when she appears to break down over the loss of her sisters. Lamia frees Yvaine but her feigned defeat was just a ruse to bolster Yvaine’s broken heart. As Tristan and Yvaine embrace, their love allows her to shine once again, vaporising Lamia in a blinding flash of starlight.Tristan retrieves the jewel that Yvaine was wearing. As the jewel turns red, Una explains that, as her son, Tristan is the last male heir of Stormhold. He becomes king with Yvaine as his queen whilst Dunstan and Una are reunited. After 80 years of ruling Stormhold, they use a Babylon candle to ascend to the sky, where Tristan also becomes a star and the pair live forever in the sky.It’s difficult to think of any negatives with this movie. It’s light, breezy, fresh and fun but not shallow. A great story with intelligent characters it is laugh-out-loud funny in many places, but with some real moments of pathos and emotional intensity elsewhere. Fantasy movies as good as this don’t come along very often these days.