REVIEW: AN EVENING WITH KEVIN SMITH 1,2 & 3

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CAST

Kevin Smith (Clerks)
Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P)
Scott Mosier (Vulgar)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (CLerks II)
Harley Quinn Smith (Yogar Hossers)
Grace Smith (Clerks)

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If you’re not a Smith fan, I don’t know why you would even be reading this. However, if you somehow are, let me say if you don’t mind a lot of profanity and graphic descriptions of sex acts then you will find this hilarious even if you aren’t familiar with his work, or if you think he sucks. If you don’t like profanity, then again…I don’t know what you’re doing reading reviews about Kevin Smith material.
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I’ve read some reviews complain that some of the material he goes over they’ve already heard on his website, or that it just sounds like he’s doing a stand up routine. He is doing a Stand Up routine. Of course he directs the questions towards stories he can tell (and that he’s fine-tuned). That’s how a comedian works. I know he’s not exactly a stand up comedian, but for all intents and purposes here…he is! Comedians will work on material for months or even years before they are completely happy with it. Then, the good ones take the jokes they’ve been cultivating and put it on a DVD. That’s all Smith is doing here, and it works. You may have heard some of this stuff on a Smodcast, but it’s still great to have it all in one DVD to rewatch whenever you want. There’s so much good stuff on here that even if you don’t like a story or two, you’re bound to laugh out loud dozens of times.
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I am a big Kevin Smith fan, and these Evening with Kevin Smith dvds are some of my favourite.  They are all  absolutely hilarious and I highly recommend it.

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REVIEW: HOLIDAYS

CAST

Harley Quinn Smith (Yoga Hossers)
Seth Green (Family guy)
Lorenza Izzo (Aftershock)
Ruth Bradley (In Her Skin)
Jocelin Donahue (Fast & Furious 7)
Clare Grant (BLack Snake Moan)
Michael Gross (Tremors)
Rick Peters (Veronica Mars)
Shawn Parsons (Containment)

Segments    Valentine’s Day

   A teenager with a crush on her gym coach is bullied by the rest of her classmates, but an innocent Valentine’s Day gesture leads to horrific results.
    St. Patrick’s Day

A young teacher learns the frightening truth about the legendary snakes of St. Patrick. A student makes her deepest wish come true, with a sick twist.thumbnail_24847Easter

        A young girl who wakes up and sees the Easter Bunny arrive is in for a shock.    Mother’s Day

        A woman who can’t stop getting pregnant finds herself involved with a coven of barren witches after attending a strange ritual.Father’s Day

        A teacher receives a mysterious cassette tape from her long-estranged father that leads to a darker mystery. The answer for why he disappeared may not be what she expected.Halloween

        A man running an internet cam sex business finds himself in dire straits when he crosses his employees on Halloween.  Christmas

        A man goes to terrible lengths to get a virtual reality device for his son for Christmas, but finds himself haunted by it.holidays-christmas
    New Year’s Eve

        A disturbed young man discovers that his New Year’s date may be just as twisted.

Anthology horror films are rarely good, but they act positively as a space for filmmakers to take a small amount of time to try and create the next great horror fiction. Horror is so often drawn out and ruined via contrived plots and repeat sequels, and seeing a simple idea condensed down can be its own reward. There are some particularly potential gemss here.

REVIEW: YOGA HOSSERS

CAST

Harley Quinn Smith (Tusk)
Lily-Rose Depp (The Dancer)
Adam Brody (Jennifers Body)
Austin Butler (Arrow)
Tyler Posey (Teen Wolf)
Justin Long (New Girl)
Tony Hale (Chuck)
Natasha Lyonne (American Pie)
Genesis Rodriguez (Hours)
Haley Joel Osment (A.I.)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Now You Know)
Vanessa Paradis (Heartbreaker)
Ralph Garman (Ted)
Johnny Depp (Into The Woods)
Kevin Conroy (Batman: TAS)
Kevin Smith (Dogma)
Stan Lee (Avengers Assemble)
Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P.)

Colleen Collette and Colleen McKenzie are two average 15-year-old girls that spend their days studying yoga with their guru, Yogi Bayer, and working an after-school job at a Manitoba convenience store called Eh-2-Zed. The two are invited to a party by a popular senior, Hunter Calloway, who is the object of Colleen M’s affections.

The next day at school, the girls’ history teacher informs the class that the Nazi Party once had an influence in Winnipeg. Led by the self-proclaimed “Canadian Führer” Adrien Arcand and his right-hand-man, Andronicus Arcane, the Canadian Nazis were once a great force of terror. Arcand was later arrested by Federal authorities, but Andronicus Arcane was never found.

Colleen C’s father Bob, who own the Eh-2-Zed, and his girlfriend Tabitha, the store’s manager, decide to take a spontaneous trip to Niagara Falls, leaving the girls to run the store on the night of Hunter’s party. The Colleens invite Hunter to bring the party to the store so that they won’t miss out. Colleen M escorts Hunter to the back room at his request, only to discover that Hunter and Gordon are actually Satanists who wish to sacrifice and dismember the Colleens. Before this can occur, an army of little monsters called Bratzis (one-foot-tall Nazis made from bratwurst) attack and kill Hunter and Gordon. Using their yoga skills, the Colleens fight and defeat the Bratzis, but are soon arrested for the murder of Hunter and Gordon.
Legendary man-hunter Guy LaPointe, who had an encounter with the Colleens once before, arrives at the police station to interrogate the girls. Having obtained some of his own evidence of the Bratzis, he believes the girls’ testimony and wishes to help them prove their innocence. After sneaking them out of the station and taking them back to the Eh-2-Zed, LaPointe and the Colleens are knocked unconscious by the Bratzis. They are taken to an underground lair beneath the store where they find the Bratzis’ master, Andronicus Arcane.
51n-dzerjqlArcane reveals to LaPointe and the Colleens that he once had dreams of becoming an artist. After having his work ridiculed by various critics, he decided to become a scientist for the Canadian Nazi movement. The Nazis hid him in the underground lair to create a clone army to conquer Canada and the United States. The clones, made from bratwurst and Arcane’s DNA, needed to incubate for 100 years before they were fully grown, so Arcane cryogenically froze himself until a time where he and his clones could rise again. This process was interrupted when a power outage at the Eh-2-Zed 70 years later caused Arcane to thaw and the clones’ incubation to stop, rendering them at just one foot in height.

51n-dzerjqlLearning that the Nazi Party had long since been defeated, Arcane began a new mission to kill all critics as revenge for those that poorly reviewed his early work. He reveals he has constructed a ten-foot-tall goaltender from body parts of the Bratzis’ victims to carry out his murderous deeds. This “Goalie Golem” is controlled by the Bratzis who operate it from its insides. No longer wishing to follow Arcane’s orders, the Golem kills him and then turns on the Colleens. The Colleens once again use their yoga skills to defeat the Golem and soon after, clear their names. After being dubbed “Hero Clerks” by the media, the Colleens return to their normal lives and end the film with a cover of “O, Canada”, accompanied on guitar by Guy LaPointe.thumbnail_24847Overall, I enjoyed the movie. It had much of Kevin Smith’s normal humor and those girls really had great chemistry as best friends.

REVIEW: TUSK

CAST

Michael Parks (Red State)
Justin Long (Jeepers Creepers)
Génesis Rodríguez (Hours)
Haley Joel Osment (A.I.)
Johnny Depp (Into The Woods)
Harley Morenstein (Holidays)
Ralph Garman (Ted)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Now You Know)
Harley Quinn Smith (Supergirl)
Lily-Rose Depp (The Dancer)
Zak Knutson (Clerks II)
Best friends Wallace Bryton and Teddy Craft host the popular podcast The Not-See Party, where they find and mock humiliating viral videos. Wallace announces plans to fly to Canada to interview the “Kill Bill” Kid, an Internet celebrity famous for severing his leg with a samurai sword. In flashbacks spread throughout the film, it is revealed that Wallace was originally a failed stand-up comic who became popular with his increasingly vicious podcasts, and that he frequently cheats on his girlfriend, Ally.
Upon arriving in Manitoba, Wallace is surprised to learn that the Kill Bill Kid committed suicide. Upset that he flew to Canada for nothing, Wallace decides to stay an extra day and find another person to interview. He finds a handbill from someone offering a room in his home for free and the guarantee of hearing a lifetime of interesting stories. His interest piqued, Wallace arrives at the mansion of Howard Howe, a retired seaman in a wheelchair. Howard tells the story of how a walrus, whom he named Mr. Tusk, rescued him after a shipwreck. Wallace then passes out from the secobarbital laced in his tea that Howard made for him.
The next morning, Wallace wakes up to find himself strapped into a wheelchair and his left leg amputated. Howard tells him he was bitten by a brown recluse spider and a local doctor had to amputate it to save Wallace’s life. Howard not only reveals that he can still walk, but lays out his plans for Wallace: he plans to fit Wallace into a perfectly constructed walrus costume. Wallace’s attempts to contact Teddy and Ally fail when neither answer their phone. It is then revealed that Ally and Teddy are in fact lovers. Wallace leaves Ally a voicemail apologizing for how he treated her, and Howard knocks him unconscious.
Now aware that Wallace is in danger, Ally and Teddy fly to Canada to look for him. Back at the mansion, Howard continues to mutilate and alter Wallace, to whom he tells his backstory: a Duplessis orphan, he was sexually abused for years by the clergy who fostered him, and as a result is very misanthropic. He sews Wallace into a walrus costume made of human skin, complete with tusks made of the tibia bones from Wallace’s severed legs.
A local detective puts Ally and Teddy in touch with Guy LaPointe, a former Sûreté du Québec inspector who has been hunting Howard for years. LaPointe reveals that Howard, nicknamed “The First Wife”, has been kidnapping and murdering people for years; he says he believes Wallace may still be alive, but not as they remember him. They eventually find Howard’s address through two convenience store clerks, whom Wallace had annoyed earlier.
By now, Wallace’s psyche has been completely broken and has been conditioned to think and behave like a walrus. Howard reveals that his obsession with walruses comes from killing and eating Mr. Tusk six months after living on the island, although a rescue boat arrived soon after. For the past 15 years, he has attempted to turn his victims into his beloved savior in order to relive their last day and give Mr. Tusk another chance at survival. Dressed in his own homemade pelt, Howard engages in a fight with Wallace that ends with Wallace angrily impaling Howard’s chest with his tusks while Howard becomes satisfied with what Wallace has become. Ally and Teddy enter the enclave as Wallace bellows victoriously and viciously as a walrus does, much to their horror. LaPointe later enters the room and reluctantly aims a shotgun at Wallace.
One year later, Wallace, still sewn into the pelt, lives in a wildlife sanctuary. Ally and Teddy visit him and feed him a mackerel. Ally remembers a discussion she had with Wallace the day before he left for Canada about how crying separates humans from animals, because crying shows that you have a soul. Ally tells Wallace she still loves him before walking off crying. Tears run down Wallace’s face as he bellows, implying that the human part of Wallace may not be completely gone.Yes, it’s a weird film but it’s trying to be different and is a nice change of pace from most horror films these days. If you want a film that will make you genuinely say ‘WTF’ at the end, tusk is for you. I

REVIEW: CLERKS II

CAST

Brian O’Halloran (Vulgar)
Jeff Anderson (Now You Know)
Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P.)
Kevin Smith (Daredevil)
Ethan Suplee (Raising Hope)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Jersey Girl)
Ben Affleck (Gone Girl)
Trevor Fehrman (Cheats)
Rosario Dawson (Sin City)
Kevin Weisman (Alias)
Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Wanda Sykes (Evan Almighty)
Kevin Michael Richardson (The Cleveland Show)
Harley Quinn Smith (Yoga Hossers)

Eleven years after the events of the first film, Dante (Brian O’Halloran) opens the Quick Stop convenience store to find that it is on fire; Randal (Jeff Anderson) had left the coffee pot on after closing the night before. As a result of the destruction of Quick Stop and the adjacent RST Video, Dante and Randal begin working at a Mooby’s fast food restaurant along with Elias (Trevor Fehrman) and their manager Becky Scott (Rosario Dawson). A year later, Dante is planning to leave his minimum wage lifestyle in favor of a family life in Florida with his fiancée Emma Bunting (Jennifer Schwalbach), whose father will provide them with a home and a business to run. This leaves Randal bitterly disappointed, who fears that with Dante moving to Florida would leave him without his best friend. Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith) have since followed Dante and Randal, and now loiter outside of Mooby’s. Jay and Silent Bob no longer do drugs after they were arrested for the possession of drugs and were sent to rehab, and become devout Christians following their release. However, the duo continue selling drugs.
Dante eventually confesses to Becky that he is worried about dancing at his wedding, so she takes him up onto the roof of the restaurant to teach him some moves. Dante soon lets go of his inhibitions and learns how to dance. When the song ends, Dante, caught up in the moment, tells Becky he loves her, and she reveals to him that she is pregnant; Dante and Becky had a one night stand on the prep table a few weeks before. Becky tells Dante not to tell anyone about the baby; however Dante tells Randal, and an angered Becky leaves when she learns that Dante told Randal.

Randal encourages Dante to leave Mooby’s in search for Becky, and in the meantime, sets up a surprise going away party for Dante. Randal hires “Kinky Kelly and the Sexy Stud,” a donkey show with a fog machine. When Dante comes back, he mistakes the fog for a fire and calls the fire department, but upon discovering that it is not a fire, he proceeds to watch the show with Randal, Jay, Silent Bob, and Elias. The group soon discovers that “Kinky Kelly” is, in fact, the donkey, while the man (Zak Knutson), whom Randal thought to be the pimp, is “The Sexy Stud”. When Becky returns, Dante confesses his love for her. As they kiss, Emma arrives. She throws her engagement ring at Becky and angrily walks off.

The fire and police departments soon arrive and discover the show. Dante, Randal, Elias, Jay, Silent Bob, and The Sexy Stud are detained and jailed. Although they are informed they will soon be released, Dante blames Randal for ruining his life and expresses his eagerness to start a new life without Randal, while Randal condemns Dante for his willingness to live his life under the standards of others and for walking out of their friendship. Amid the argument, Randal proposes that they buy the Quick Stop and re-open it, although Dante says that neither have the money to purchase the store. Jay and Silent Bob offer to lend them some money (from the royalties they collected following the events of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) on the condition that they can hangout outside of the Quick Stop anytime they want. Randal accepts their offer, but Dante remains skeptical, prompting Randal to emotionally confess his fear of losing Dante. As a result, Dante agrees to the proposition as well, and after his release, he proposes to Becky, who accepts. After the Quick Stop and RST Video are rebuilt, Elias applies for a job and is hired at RST Video. In the very last scene, with the store open, Dante says, “Can you feel it? Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.”

If you’re a fan of adult humour (or just enjoyed the original) then this is definitely one for you. Of course, if, like me, you’re a die-hard fan of Kevin Smith’s films, you’ll get added enjoyment out of Clerks II as it’s part of his ‘Askewniverse’ where all his films are interlinked and there are plenty of references to past situations and charters

REVIEW: JERSEY GIRL

CAST

Ben Affleck (Gone Girl)
Raquel Castro (Empire)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Now You Know)
Jennifer Lopez (The Cell)
Liv Tyler (The Incredible Hulk)
Jason Biggs (American Pie)
George Carlin (Dogma)
Stephen Root (Boardwalk Empire)
Mike Starr (Goodfellas
S. Epatha Merkerson (Law & Order)
Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Matt Damon (The Bourne Identity)
Harley Quinn Smith (Yoga Hossers)

Oliver “Ollie” Trinké (Ben Affleck) is a powerful media publicist in New York City whose wife, Gertrude (Jennifer Lopez), dies during childbirth in 1996. To avoid his grief, he buries himself in his work and ignores his new daughter, Gertie, while his father, Bart (George Carlin), takes a month off from work to care for her, but returns so that his son is forced to live up to his responsibility as a parent. Under the stress of a botched diaper change and a baby who will not stop crying, Ollie trashes his client Will Smith for his soon-to-be released film Independence Day in front of assembled reporters. The outburst costs him his job, so he moves in with his father in New Jersey. He eventually apologizes for ignoring his daughter, and attributes his public outburst to his grief.  Blacklisted by all of New York City’s public relations firms, Ollie has to work as a civil servant in the borough where he now lives with his father. Seven years later, in 2003, Gertie (Raquel Castro), now in elementary school, often coaxes him to rent films to watch. At the video store, they meet Maya (Liv Tyler), a graduate student and one of the store’s clerks, whose uninhibited probing into Ollie’s love life almost leads to their having casual sex. She soon becomes a part of their lives.

As part of his job in the borough, Ollie speaks to a group of outraged citizens to win over their approval for a major public works project that will temporarily close a street in the neighborhood. His successful and enjoyable interaction with the crowd leads him to realize how much he misses the public relations work. He contacts Arthur (Jason Biggs), his one-time protégé, who sets up a promising interview.

The prospect of moving to New York creates tension among Ollie, Gertie, Bart, and Maya, especially when he says that his interview is on the same day as Gertie’s school talent show. She yells at him, saying she hates him and that she wishes he had died instead of her mom. He claims he hates her right back, and says she and Gertrude took his life away and he just wants it back. He immediately regrets it and tries to apologize, but the damage is done and she pushes him away and runs to her room, crying. A few days later he and Gertie finally patch things up, and she accepts the fact that they will be moving to New York. While waiting to be interviewed, he has a chance encounter with Will Smith (playing himself), the man he trashed at his public outburst years before. Smith has no idea who Ollie is, but the two spark a conversation about work and children.

Ollie is able to make it to Gertie’s Sweeney Todd performance at the last moment. The film ends with him, Gertie, Bart, Maya, and the rest celebrating at the bar. He and Maya hint at possible feelings for each other before being interrupted by Gertie. He holds her and says that they are staying in New Jersey because he did not take the job. She asks why he did so if he loved it so much. He says that he thought he did, but he loved his new life more because being a father to her was the only thing that he was ever really good at.The cast are all excellent, The movie looks superb and it deserves far more recognition that it recieved.

REVIEW: JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK

 

CAST

Jason Mewes (Bottoms Up)
Kevin Smith (Daredevil)
Ben Affleck (Batman v Superman)
Jeff Anderson (Now You Know)
Brian O’Halloran (Vulgar)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Eliza Dushku (Tru Calling)
Ali Larter (Heroes)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Jersey Girl)
Will Ferrell (Elf)
Jason Lee (My Name Is earl)
Judd Nelson (Steel)
George Carlin (Dogma)
Carrie Fisher (Fanboys)
Seann William Scott (Welcome To The Jungle)
Jon Stewart (The Faculty)
Tracy Morgan (Cop Out)
Chris Rock (Madagascar)
Jamie Kennedy (Son of The Mask)
Wes Craven (Sceam)
Shannen Doherty (Mallrats)
Mark Hamill (The Flash)
Marc Blucas (Bufy: The Vampire Slayer)
Harley Quinn Smith (Yoga Hossers)

Jay-and-Silent-Bob-Strike-Back-Main-ReviewAfter getting a restraining order from Randal Graves (Clerks) for selling drugs outside the Quick Stop, Jay and Silent Bob find out from Brodie Bruce (Mallrats) that Bluntman and Chronic, the comic book based on their likenesses, has been adapted into a film in production by Miramax Films. In response, the two see Holden McNeil (Chasing Amy), the co-writer of Bluntman and Chronic for the royalties of the film. However, Holden tells Jay and Silent Bob that he sold his part of the creative and publishing rights of the comic over to his former friend Banky Edwards. Upon learning of the film, as well as the negative reaction it has received so far on the Internet,[3] the two set out on a quest to Hollywood, to prevent the film from being made and tainting their image, or at the very least receive the money from the royalties owed to them.
On the way, they befriend an animal liberation group, consisting of four women: Justice, Sissy, Missy, and Chrissy; and one man, Brent, who they had picked up for the cause. It is revealed that the organization is a front; Brent is a patsy, intended as a diversion by freeing an animal from a testing laboratory while the girls rob a diamond depository nearby. Jay tricks Brent and throws him out of the van in order to get closer to Justice, with whom he is smitten. Justice, who becomes close to Jay and Silent Bob (particularly the former), reluctantly accepts the two as the new patsies.
While the girls are robbing the diamond depository they accidentally set off the alarm, prompting them to break the glass and steal the diamonds. While this is going on Jay and Silent Bob free the animals and take an orangutan named Suzanne with them. They escape outside to see the police arriving and the van exploding, which they believe has killed the girls.
Jay then takes the orangutan with him as a memorial to Justice. Quickly afterwards, Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (whose name is taken from the three characters in the TV show Land of the Lost: Marshal, Will and Holly) shows up at the scene. Blinded to the diamond heist, he claims to have jurisdiction because of the large number of animals that escaped. He learns that all the animals have been recovered except for the orangutan. The officers then find and watch footage of a video Sissy recorded of Jay making remarks about “the clit”, claiming to be “the Clit commander.” The literature accompanying the tape says that “Clit” is an acronym for Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-Dwellers. Willenholly blindly finds this as an act of terrorism and calls for police support to hunt down what he considered “the two most dangerous men on the planet.”
When the officers later have the trio cornered inside a diner and threaten to open fire, Jay and Silent Bob dress the orangutan as a child and walk out, claiming that they want to get their “son” out of the danger zone. Willenholly, thinking about the political repercussions of arresting a gay couple, decides to let them leave, but he quickly realizes his mistake and resumes the chase. When they jump into a sewer system, only Willenholly himself follows them while the other police officers, led by the Sheriff, leave him, and he is soon tricked into jumping off of a dam.

Having escaped the law, Jay and Silent Bob once again return to their quest to reach Hollywood, only to have Suzanne taken by a Hollywood animal acting agency car. Now on a quest to get their ape back and to clear their names, the two once again embark to Hollywood.

On their arrival in Hollywood, the two find themselves in the background of an E! News newscast (ironically about their threat against Miramax on the Internet) that Justice is watching. While Justice takes the diamonds and goes to Hollywood to set things right, Marshal Willenholly learns of their mission to reach Hollywood and leaves to find them.
jaysilentbob4png.pngAfter a long chase with studio security and reclaiming Suzanne from a fictional Scream 4 in production, Jay and Silent Bob end up in Jason Biggs and James Van Der Beek’s dressing room, where they quickly realize that these are the actors that will play the roles of Bluntman and Chronic. Suzanne beats both of them up effortlessly and Jay and Silent Bob assume the roles of their characters. Production staff throw them on stage with racist director Chaka Luther King, and they must engage in a duel with Mark Hamill playing a comic book supervillain called Cocknocker. Eventually Willenholly arrives to capture Jay and Silent Bob, but Justice arrives to save them. Justice admits that the CLIT organization was not real and that the two were used as a diversion while she, Missy, Sissy and Chrissy, were stealing jewels. As the rest of jewel thieves arrive, a climactic final battle ensues, after which Jay and Silent Bob get their royalties to the film from Banky, and Justice turns herself and her former team in to Willenholly in exchange for a shorter sentence and letting Jay and Silent Bob go.  The film ends with Jay and Silent Bob spending their royalty to locate everyone who expressed negative opinions on the internet about the movie and characters, ranging from kids to clergy, and traveling to their towns to beat them up. The scene then cuts to everyone leaving a movie theater, having just watched the Bluntman and Chronic movie and expressing negative reception: Hooper X calls the film a “one 90-minute-long gay joke.” Jay and Silent Bob, with Justice and Willenholly, then go across the street to enjoy a performance from Morris Day and The Time. After the credits, God closes the View Askewniverse book.I love Jay and Silent Bob,Kevin Smith is an amazing director/writer and since arriving on the scene with Clerks the adventures on the king of stoners Jay and Bob have got better and better. This film is just laugh out loud gags from start to finish with so many massive stars putting in cameos including Chris Rock who is brilliant in his small role in the film It also features Will Ferrell as a wildlife marshall with half a brain. A must have for Kevin Smith fans and comedy fans alike