HALLOWEEN OF HORROR REVIEW: PIRANHA 3DD

CAST

Danielle Panabaker (The Flash)
Matt Bush (Adventureland)
Katrina Bowden (30 Rock)
David Koechner (Anchorman)
Chris Zylka (The Secret Circle)
Gary Busey (Predator 2)
Christopher Lloyd (Back To The Future)
Ving Rhames (Mission Impossible)
Adrian Martinez (A Perfect Murder)
Paul Scheer (Year One)
Clu Gulager (The Tall Man)
Jean-Luc Bilodeau (LOL)
Megan Tandy (Teen Wolf)
Eli Roth (Inglourious Basterds)
David Hasselhoff (Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.)
Meagan Tandy (Batwoman)

A year after the massacre on Lake Victoria by prehistoric piranhas, an eradication campaign has left the lake uninhabitable, and the town itself has been largely abandoned as a result of the drying-up of the lake. Meanwhile, at Cross Lake, two farmers (Gary Busey and Clu Gulager) search the waters to recover the body of a dead cow. Piranha eggs that have been laid inside the cow hatch, and the farmers are killed by the swarm, but before they both die, one farmer pops out of the water, bites the head off one of the piranhas and spits it into the air before sinking back into the water.

Maddy (Danielle Panabaker), a marine biology student, returns home for the summer to the waterpark she co-owns. She finds to her horror that the other co-owner, her step-father Chet (David Koechner), plans to add an adult-themed section to the waterpark with “water-certified strippers”, and re-open it as “Big Wet”. At a party at the waterpark that night, Maddy encounters several old acquaintances, including her policeman ex-boyfriend Kyle (Chris Zylka) and Barry (Matt Bush), who has secretly had a crush on her since grade school. She also runs into two of her close friends, Ashley (Meagan Tandy) and Shelby (Katrina Bowden). Shelby and her boyfriend Josh (Jean-Luc Bilodeau) go skinny-dipping in the lake, where a piranha makes its way inside her vagina. Meanwhile, Ashley and her boyfriend Travis begin to have sex in their van, but Ashley accidentally trips the handbrake with her foot, causing the van to roll into the lake. Travis, handcuffed to the van during foreplay and unable to escape, is devoured while Ashley, on the roof of the van, calls for help. With no one around to hear her cries, the van sinks into the lake and she is eaten alive by the killer fish.

The next day, Maddy is consoling Shelby about their missing friends. While sitting on a jetty, they are both attacked by a swarm of piranhas. They manage to kill one, and Maddy, Kyle and Barry take it to marine expert Carl Goodman (Christopher Lloyd) to examine. He informs them that the piranhas may be moving via sewage pipes and underground rivers between lakes, attracted by chemicals involved in swimming pool cleansers that match their spawning routes. However, the wider world wouldn’t listen to his theory that the fish could evolve to become terrain-viable. The trio return to the lake, where they establish that the piranhas cannot make their way into the outflow pipes connecting the lake and the waterpark. While Shelby and Josh are having sex, the piranha in Shelby’s vagina bites Josh’s penis, forcing him to chop the organ off with a knife. Both are hospitalized, but survive. Kyle is revealed to be corrupt and taking bribes from Chet, who is secretly pumping water from an underground river into the waterpark, lowering his costs and boosting his profits. Chet orders Kyle to keep Maddy from finding out about his nefarious plans.

“Big Wet” opens the next day. Among the first guests are Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames), who survived his previous ordeal with the piranhas but lost his legs, and former cameraman Andrew Cunningham (Paul Scheer). While the duo attempts to overcome their fear of the water after they were attacked a year ago, David Hasselhoff also makes an appearance as a celebrity lifeguard.

Discovering the connection between the park and the underground river, Maddy attempts to shut the waterpark down, but is stopped by Chet and Kyle. The piranhas make their way to the area and attack, killing many of the lifeguards and waterpark-goers. Fallon attaches a shotgun prosthesis to his legs in order to save the visitors, while Hasselhoff, after rescuing a small boy named David (Matthew Lintz), is pleased that he has finally become a real lifeguard. In the chaos, Chet refuses to help any survivors, including Kiki (Irina Voronina), who is eaten by the fish. He reluctantly offers some cash to a young girl whose mother is dead, but then accidentally reverses over her with his golf cart. As he attempts to drive off to safety, Chet is then decapitated by a hanging cable.

Maddy instructs Barry to begin draining the pools; however, while rescuing people from the water, she becomes caught in the suction and is dragged down to the bottom of the pool. After Kyle refuses to save her because of his fear of piranhas, Barry, despite being unable to swim, leaps down and brings her to the surface, whereupon Maddy is revived. She and Barry then kiss.
Image result for piranha 3dd
Another employee, Big Dave, pours pure chlorine into the pipes, followed by a lit joint. The resulting explosion kills most of the piranhas, while Kyle is killed by a falling trident. The celebrations are cut short, however, when Maddy takes a phone call from a horrified Mr. Goodman, who informs them that the escaped piranha are evolving and are now able to move on land, to which Maddy replies that she knows. The film ends as the Piranha Queen emerges from the pool and decapitates David (the small child who Hasselhoff saved earlier), leading Hasselhoff to quip “Little ginger moron”, while the surviving visitors pick up their phones and take pictures of the dead child. In a post-credits scene, Hasselhoff is running on a beach holding a trident, which is an advertisement for a film titled Fishhunter.Image result for piranha 3ddI found it a gross and funny B-Movie, with stupid but hilarious characters. The director knows the B-movie formula, with teats and beautiful girls. Christopher Lloyd has become stereotyped as the mad scientist in American comedies . The uncredited Ving Rhames afraid of the water and shooting with his leg is comical. But David Hasselhoff steals the movie making fun of himself as the most famous lifeguard of all times. If you shutdown your brain, you will certainly enjoy this movie.

REVIEW: TWO AND A HALF MEN – SEASON 9

Starring

Ashton Kutcher (The Ranch)
Jon Cryer (Supergirl)
Angus T. Jones (Bringing Down The House)
Marin Hinkle (Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle)
Conchata Ferrell (Krampus)
Holland Taylor (D.E.B.S.)

Jon Cryer and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)

Recurring / Notable Guest Cast

Jenna Elfman (Fear The Walking Dead)
Thomas Gibson (Criminal Minds)
John Stamos (Full House)
Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica)
Katherine LaNasa (The Campaign)
Jenny McCarthy (Dirty Love)
Jodi Lyn O’Keefe (The Vampire Diaries)
Missi Pyle (Gone Girl)
Jeri Ryan (Star Trek: Voyager)
Jennifer Taylor (Shameless)
Liz Vassey (The Tick)
Emmanuelle Vaugier (Human Target)
Melanie Lynskey (Heavenly Creatures)
Ryan Stiles (Hot Shots)
Joel Murray (Mad Men)
Martin Mull (Sabrina: TTW)
Judy Greer (Jurassic World)
Stephany Jacobsen (Terminator: TSCC)
Courtney Thorne-Smith (Melrose Place)
Nicholas Gonzalez (Sleepy Hollow)
Jane Lynch (Glee)
Joe Manganiello (Rampage)
Macey Cruthird (Hope & Faith)
Taylor Cole (The Originals)
Rebecca McFarland (Scream 2)
Amanda Schull (Suits)
Gary Busey (Predator 2)
Vernee Watson (The Big Bang Theory)
Sophie Winkleman (The Chronicles of Narnia)
Jonathan Banks (Breaking Bad)
Graham Patrick Martin (Major Crimes)
Jim Piddock (Best in Show)
Jane Carr (Legends of Tomorrow)
Mimi Rogers (Ginger Snaps)
Travis Van Winkle (Transformers)
Talyan Wright (Five)
Patton Oswalt (Young Adult)
Brian Stepanek (Young Sheldon)
Kathy Bates (Misery)
Eddie Shin (Westworld)
Jason Alexander (Shallow Hal)

Two and a Half Men (2003)This season focus on Alan (Jon Cryer) and his son Jake (Angus T. Jones) moving on with their lives after Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen) unexpectedly dies off-screen due to a subway train while in Paris with Rose with the help of their new housemate, internet billionaire Walden Schmidt (Ashton Kutcher), who buys the Malibu Beach House which was put up for sale by Alan and Jake Harper. Walden, who is a dot-com billionaire, is in the process of being divorced by his wife.Jon Cryer, Conchata Ferrell, and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)Alan temporarily moved in with his and Charlie’s mother Evelyn after Charlie’s beach house was sold to Walden. Alan and Jake were invited to move back into Charlie’s beach house by Walden after Alan with the help of Walden’s ex-wife Bridget saved him from a con-artist. Walden, Alan and Jake eventually bond and formed a surrogate family unit. Walden starts to date Zoey, a British woman he met at The Malibu Grocery Store. Charlie pays Alan a visit from the afterlife, as a ghost trapped in a woman’s body (Kathy Bates) but his intentions for coming back are rather suspicious. Jake approaches adulthood fast pending his graduation from high school. Jake joins the army after graduation and leaves Malibu at the end of the season.Jon Cryer and Ashton Kutcher in Two and a Half Men (2003)Although season 9 takes some getting use to without Charlie Sheen, I think Ashton Kutcher adds a freshness to the show, with his child like nature and blossoming friendship with Alan makes this season worth while. Waldans relationship with Zoey is just adorable and its nice to see her in several episodes