REVIEW: COLD COMES THE NIGHT

CAST

Bryan Cranston (Power Rangers)
Alice Eve (Star Trek Into Darkness)
Logan Marshall-Green (Spider-Man: Homecoming)
Ursula Parker (Louie)
Leo Fitzpatrick (Bully)
Erin Cummings (Spartacus)
Robin Lord Taylor (Gotham)
Sarah Sokolovic (Every Secret Thing)

Chloe, a single mother living with her daughter Sophia, operates a motel. Topo is a blind man traveling cross country in a Jeep with his associate John. They stop by Chloe’s motel, when John hires prostitute Gwen, and convinces Topo to stay the night. When Gwen is entertaining John, an argument has John fatally shooting Gwen, waking Chloe up. Chloe investigating finds Gwen and John dead. The police arriving, Chloe has a conversation with her police friend Billy who was Gwen’s pimp. He comforts her while Chloe tells him she will not allow his girls to use the rooms in her motel anymore, as a social worker was around earlier threatening to take Sophia away. The following day Topo takes Chloe and Sophia hostage looking for the Jeep. As Sophia watches TV Chloe agrees to retrieve the Jeep from the police. Topo forces Chloe and Sophia to stake out Billy’s residence. Amber answers the door and Chloe and Billy fight. Billy refuses to give Chloe the Jeep. Topo forces Chloe to break into the police junkyard and retrieve a package hidden behind the radio. After evading the Patrolman, Chloe reaches the car but cannot find the package.Back at the motel, Chloe learns more about Topo and figures out that he is a courier who is supposed to deliver bundles of money. She proposes to Topo that they split the money if she helps him faster and he reluctantly agrees due to his new impairment. After Chloe falls asleep with Sophia Topo looks around and finds Chloe’s hidden stash of emergency money. The next morning, Topo and Chloe stake out, learning that John was Topo’s nephew and Chloe’s husband died in a hit and run. After finding Billy, Chloe follows him only to be found out and cornered in an alley. After Billy has Chloe pinned on the roof of the car, Topo sneaks up behind him and interrogates him and heads to Billy’s house thinking the money is stashed there. After Chloe finds the money under the bed she is confronted by Billy’s wife Amber, whom Topo shoots. They leave after tying Billy to the radiator. They go back to the motel where Topo leaves with all of the money with another associate, Donnie.

Chloe calls the police and tells them that she was a hostage. They tell her that Billy was not found at his house and decide to leave a squad-car there for her safety. Topo and Donnie meet Québécois mafia, Jacques and his associates in a car park. The mafia force Topo into the car and proceed to count the money to find that Topo is missing fifty grand, which Chloe has as her cut. When Jacques threatens to kill Topo, Topo kills them all. Back at the motel, Chloe packs her and Sophia’s things, she sends the police away only to be approached by Topo to give her back her cut, when Billy shoots Topo and Donnie, and has cornered Chloe, who then throws him through a window, unintentionally fatally slicing his neck. Chloe sets the scene to look like a deal gone bad, and takes Sophia into a taxi to parts unknown.

Cold Comes The Night is a down to earth hostage thriller, arguably it lingers a little in places, but keeps you hanging on to the end.

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REVIEW: STAR TREK: ENTERPRISE – SEASON 1-4

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MAIN CAST

Scott Bakula (Chuck)
Jolene Blalock (Starship Troopers 3)
Connor Trinneer (Stargate: Atlantis)
Dominic Keating (Heroes)
Linda Park (Jurassic Park 3)
Anthony Montgomery (Leprechaun In The Hood)
John Billingsley (Cold Case)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Tommy Lister (The Dark Knight)
Vaughn Armstrong (Power Rangers Lightspeed Rescue)
Jim Beaver (3rd Rock From The Sun)
Gary Graham (Alien Nation)
Thomas Kopache (Catch me If You Can)
Melinda Clarke (Spawn)
James Cromwell (Species II)
Henri Lubatti (Angel)
Erick Avari (Stargate)
Jeffrey Combs (The Frighteners)
Jane Carr (Treasure Planet)
Paula Malcomson (The Hunger Games)
Gregory Itzin (Firefly)
Jeff Kober (New Girl)
Eric Pierpoint (Alien Nation)
Keith Szarabjka (Angel)
Conor O’Farrell (Lie To Me)
Clint Howard (Apollo 13)
Ethan Phillips (Bad Santa)
Annie Wersching (The Vampire Diaries)
Rene Auberjonois (Boston Legal)
Dennis Christopher (Angel)
John Rubinstein (Legends of Tomorrow)
Fionnula Flanagan (Yes Man)
Clancy Brown (Highlander)
Rudolf Martin (buffy: The Vampire Slayer)
Keone Young (Alias)
Brad Greenquist (Heroes)
Holmes Osborne (Donnie Darko)
Sean Whalen (Twister)
J.G. Herztler (Roswell)
Larissa Laskin (Earth: Final Conflict)
Bonita Friedericy (Chuck)
Brigid Brannagh (Angel)
Keith Carradine (The Big Bang Theory)
Robert O’Reilly (The Mask)
Stephen McHattie (300)
Rick Worthy (The Vampire Diaries)
Daniel Dae Kim (Lost)
Stephen Culp (Scream Queens)
Tucker Smallwood (Traffic)
Maury Sterling (The A-Team)
Sam Witwer (Smallville)
James Parks (Kill Bill)
Emily Bergl (Carrie 2)
Leland Orser (Seven)
Jeffrey Dean Morgan (The Walking Dead)
Erin Cummings (Spartacus)
Casey Biggs (Broken Arrow)
Seth MacFarlane (Family Guy)
Bruce Thomas (Army of Darkness)
Joanna Cassidy (Blade Runner)
Alec Newman (Dune)
Richard Riehle (Texas Chainsaw 3D)
Brent Spiner (Dude, Where’s My Car?)
Robert Foxworth (Beneath Loch Ness)
Todd Stashwick (The Originals)
Lee Arenberg (Once Upon A Time)
Brian Thompson (Hired To Hill)
James Avery (That 70s Show)
Harry Groener (Buffy: The Vampire Slayer)
Peter Mensah (Sleepy Hollow)
Marina Sirtis (The Grudge 3)
Jonathan Frakes (Roswell)

Out of all the Star Trek series and films, Enterprise is easily the most overlooked, and was the only one since the original to be canceled. This isn’t because it wasn’t as good as the rest, but simply the way it was marketed. The show is in fact a prequel to Kirk’s Enterprise, and does take place before the Federation, but what the show lacks in technology, is more than made up for with realism and some of the best character development in the Star Trek franchise.

100 years after Zefren Cochrane’s warp flight, the human race has had enough of Vulcans holding them back, and have created the first warp five star ship in human history. Over the Vulcan’s objections, Jonathan Archer (Scott Bakula), the son of the engines designer, has been selected to Captain the ship and explore a galaxy that humans know very little about.
This show is extremely important to the franchise and all Trekkies, as it not only shows humanities first trip out of our solar system and first contact with all the races we’ve come to know over the years, but the show fills in a lot of the gaps from all the other series and films! Enterprise explores the origins of Data’s creator, the Eugenic Wars (which created Khan), the development of many protocols and much of the tech we see on future ships, but most important of all the series shows how the foundation for the Federation and the creation of star fleet all came together.
Enterprise was also unique for it’s character development and realism, in that it takes place in the not to distant future. We get to know the crew intimately, from their fears to their families, and we see them doing and discussing things never before seen in Star Trek. The Enterprise crew has a classic movie night, watches sports on TV, has pets, and they even talk about sex. The cast is lead by Scott Bakula, which was another great move by producers. Casting a veteran science fiction actor, whose been in long running series, automatically gives him that air of experience and authority that Picard had. He’s also a younger man, so with no federation policies in place yet, Archer can be just as much of a risk taker as Kirk was, even more so.
Star Trek Enterprise was extremely enjoyable, and a series people could relate to more than any other in the Star Trek franchise. The show isn’t simply about the future and the Federation, it’s about what it means to be human and how that compares to other species. It shows what we need to do in order to get along with and understand other cultures, but most of all it fills in so many holes from previous films and episodes, that it truly was the missing link.

Unfortunately for Star Trek fans, the show barely made a hundred episodes, because it was on a dying network, that folded shortly after the show was canceled, screwing us Trekkie’s out of three more seasons. As with all the previous series, the story has been continued in books, but in this case, the books were written by the main writers of the series, and do encompass everything that would have happened in seasons five, six, and seven.

REVIEW: DOLLHOUSE – SEASON 1-2

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MAIN CAST

Eliza Dushku (Tru Calling)
Harry Lennix (Man of Steel)
Fran Kranz (The Cabin In The Woods)
Tahmoh Penikett (Battlestar Galactica)
Enver Gjokaj (Agent Carter)
Dichen Lachman (Agents of SHIELD)
Olivia Williams (X-Men 3)
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RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST STARS

Amy Acker (Angel)
Reed Diamond (Bones)
Liza Lapira (Cloverfield)
Kevin Kilner (Earth: Final Conflict)
VIncent Ventresca (Cold Case)
Alan Tudyk (Firefly)
Alexis Denisof (Avengers Assemble)
Keith Carradine (The Big Bang Theory)
Summer Glau (Arrow)
Matt Keeslar (Scream 3)
Miracle Laurie (Insane Jane)
Mark Sheppard (Chuck)
Erin Cumming (Spartacus)
Jim Piddock (The Man)
Anson Mount (In Her Shoes)
David Alpay (The Vampire Diaries)
Aisha Hinds (Cult)
Patton Oswalt (Caprica)
Mehcad Brooks (Supergirl)
Octavia Spencer (Mom)
Emma Bell (Final Destination 5)
Teddy Sears (The Flash)
Jordan Bridges (J. Edgar)
Ian Anthony Dale (Mr. 3000)
Gregg Henry (Slither)
Ashley Johnson (Roswell)
Felicia Day (The Guild)
Janina Gavankar (True Blood)
Chris William Martin (The Vampire Diaries)
Adair Tishler (Heroes)
Zack Ward (Transformers)
Clayton Rohner (The Relic)
Jamie Bamber (Battlestar Galactica)
Kristoffer Polaha (Ringer)
Stacey Scowley (The Brotherhood 2)
Michael Hogan (Red Riding Hood)
Nelson Franklin (New Girl)
Ray Wise (Swamp Thing)
Adam Godley (Powers)

Dollhouse is a near-future SF tv series, featuring Eliza Dushku as Echo, a woman working for the secretive “Dollhouse” who has voluntarily had her personality wiped in order to be imprinted with any mind and skills a client requires. While initially very episodic, a longer plotline slowly emerges as the more disturbing aspects of this technology and the Dollhouse emerges.

This series comes from the mind of Joss Whedon, responsible for Buffy, Angel, and Firefly. Like Firefly, Dollhouse was cancelled ignominiously in its second season, so be warned that you will not get the full story Whedon planned to write. Whedon has a real genius for producing brilliant genre TV that delights fans but doesn’t make it as a mainstream show, and the tension between his desire to tell a big story, while not alienating casual viewers, shows in the early episodes, which see Echo sent off on unrelated assignments.

Echo’s assignments range from the obvious seductions to less obvious tasks such as bodyguard and safe-cracker. As time goes on, we see her blank state slowly becoming not so blank. An outside element is provided by FBI agent Ballard, who is investigating the Dollhouse, and becomes obsessed with locating Echo and finding why she would enter the Dollhouse.

Once the first season gets into its stride it deals with rogue agent Alpha, whose eventual return causes chaos, and the ongoing investigation of Ballard. Slowly building along with this are the big questions of what the corporation behind the Dollhouse really want, what could be done with this technology, and how the apparently-wiped minds slowly find a personality. Season two attempts to kick into high gear, and throws some more radical changes into the mix, including glimpses of the eventual result of the Dollhouse technology, but ultimately couldn’t avoid cancellation.

Dollhouse has some excellent secondary characters, and tries to create an ensemble despite Dushku being very much the face of the show. Characters such as Topher, DeWitt, Langton, and Dr Saunders are brilliantly drawn, and the dialogue sparkles. As ever with a Whedon product, the characters draw you in and make you wish you could watch them again and again.

Ultimately Dollhouse is a brave but failed attempt to create something a little different, and provoke some real thought, in a genre that sometime gets too bland. It’s well worth watching, but doesn’t give the full story its vision deserved.

 

REVIEW: COLD CASE – SEASON 1-7

CAST

Kathryn Morris (Mindhunters)
Justin Chambers (Grey’s Anatomy)
Danny Pino (Law & Order:SVU)
John Finn (True Crme)
Jeremy Ratchford (Angel Eyes)
Thom Barry (Texas Chainsaw)
Tracie Thoms (Looper)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Sherman Howard (Superboy)
Kate Mara (Fantastic Four)
Becki Newton (Ugly Betty)
Brett Cullen (Lost)
Jimmi Simpson (Date Night)
Daisy McCrackin (Halloween: Resurrection)
Lacey Beeman (Power Rangers Time Force)
Summer Glau (Firefly)
Vincent Ventresca (Dollhouse)
Brandon Routh (Legends of Tomorrow)
Barbara Tarbuck (American Horror Story)
Laura Regan (Minorty Report TV)
Christina Cox (Arrow)
Silas Weir Mitchell (My Name Is Earl)
Fredric Lehne (Lost)
Jeffrey Nording (Flight 93)
Josh Hopkins (The Perfect Storm)
Robert LaSardo (Nip/Tuck)
Blake Shields (Heroes)
Chelsea Field (Masters of The Universe)
Marc McClure (Superman)
Geoffrey Lewis (The Devil’s Rejects)
Leslie Silva (Odyssey 5)
Garrett M. Brown (Kick-Ass)
Molly Cheek (American Pie)
Autumn Reeser (The OC)
Amanda Wyss (Highlander: The Series)
Robin Riker (Big Love)
Nichole Hiltz (Bones)
Amber Benson (Buffy)
Maggie Grace (Lost)
Katee Sackhoff (Battlestar Galactica)
Marisol Nichols (Felon)
Mehcad Brooks (Supergirl)
Cameron Dye (Smallville)
Lee Garlington (Flashforward)
Michael Pare (Bloodrayne 3)
T.J. Thyne (Bones)
John Kassir (Pete’s Dragon)
Patty McCormack (The Bad Seed)
Barbara Niven (The Rat Pack)
W. Earl Brown (Bates Motel)
Tracy Middendorf (Scream: The Series)
Jason Dohring (Veronica Mars)
Noel Fisher (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Sam Witwer (Smallville)
Mae Whitman (The Duff)
Aloma Wright (Scrubs)
Shirley Knight (As Good As It Gets)
Ian Bohen (Hercules: TLJ)
Jenna Fischer (The Office)
Chadwick Boseman (Captain America: Civil War)
Rance Howard (A Beautiful Mind)
Nicholas D’Agasto (Gotham)
Roxanne Hart (Highlander)
Chad Lindberg (Teh Fast and The Furious)
Daveigh Chase (S. Darko)
Virginia Williams (Fairly Legal)
Chad Donella (Smallville)
Nicki Aycox (Roadkill 2)
Bob Papenbrook (Jeepers Creepers 2)
John Billingsley (Star Trek: Enterprise)
Phil LaMarr (Free Enterprise)
Johnny Whitwroth (Empire Records)
Danielle Harris (Halloween 2007)
Michael O’Neil (Roswell)
Amy Sloan (The Aviator)
Brigid Brannagh (Angel)
Andrea Savage (Izombie)
Meredith Salenger (Lake Placid)
Clare Carey (Hercules: TLJ)
Dana Davis (Heroes)
Dee Wallace (ET)
Jay Acovone (Stargate SG.1)
Bradley Stryker (The Lizzie Borden Chronicles)
Piper Laurie (Carrie)
Tessa Thompson (Veronica Mars)
Karina Logue (Bates Motel)
Sarah Brown (VR Troopers)
Brooke Anne Smith (Misschief Night)
Kristin Richardson (Lost)
Lindsay Hollister (Bluberella)
Nick Wechsler (Roswell)
Mimi Kennedy (Mom)
Christina Hendricks (Mad Men)
Thomas Kopache (Stigmata)
April Grace (Lost)
Edwin Hodge (The Purge)
Jon Huertas (Sabrina: TTW)
Phillip Jeanmarie (Power Rangers Wild Force)
Michael Grant Terry (Bones)
Deborah Van Valkenburgh (Mean Guns)
Robin Weigert (Deadwood)
James Handy (Alias)
Megan Follows (Reign)
Zachary Ty Bryan (Fast and Furious 3)
Alona Tal (Cult)
Meagen Fay (The Big Banng Theory)
Priscilla Pointer (The Flash 90s)
Tina Holmes (Taken)
Jeremy Davidson (Roswell)
Brennan Elliott (Paul Blart: Mall Cop)
Zeljko Ivanek (Heroes)
Shiloh Fernandez (Red Riding Hood)
George Coe (Smallville)
Laura Bell Bundy (Scream Queens)
John Rubenstein (Angel)
Meredith Baxter (Family Ties)
Dean Norris (Breaking Bad)
K Callan (Lois & CLark)
Michelle Harrison (The Flash)
Peter Graves (Airplane 2)
Stacy Haiduk (Superboy)
Dale Dickey (Iron Man 3)
Mageina Tovah (Spider-Man 2 & 3)
Kenny Johnson (Bates Motel)
Kyle Gallner (Veronica Mars)
Nestor Carbonell (The Dark Knight)
L. Scott Caldwell (Lost)
Neil Jackson (Alexander)
Greg Cipes (Teen Titans)
Rutanya Alda (Amityville 2)
George Newbern (Justice League)
Annie Wersching (The Vampire Diaries)
Eugene Robert Glazer (La Femme Nikita)
John Aylward (Alias)
Bobby Hosea (Xena)
Charles Mesure (V)
Conor O’Farrell (Lie To Me)
Sonja Sohn (The Originals)
Thomas Ian Girffiths (XXX)
Polly Shannon (Lie With Me)
Michael Trevino (The Vampire Diaries)
Jake McDorman (Limitless TV)
Robert Picardo (Stargate: Atlantis)
Ernie Hudson (Ghostbusters)
Lucinda Jenney (Rain Man)
Jamie Bamber (Battlestar Galactica)
Bruce Boxleitner (Babylon 5)
Greg Finley (Izombie)
Paula Malcomson (Caprica)
Holmes Osborne (Donnie Darko)
Faran Tahir (Iron Man)
Jennifer Lawrence (The Hunger Games)
Mitch Pileggi (The X-Files)
Whitney Able (Monsters)
AnnaLynne McCord (Excision)
Drew Powell (Gotham)
Erin Cahill (Power Rangers Time Force)
Carolyn McCormick (Enemy Mine)
Michael Massee (Flashforward)
Helena Mattsson (Iron Man 2)
Lynda Boyd (Sanctuary)
Justina Machado (Final Destination 2)
Cynthia Ettinger (Thirteen)
Bonnie Root (Home Invasion)
Melissa Leo (The Fighter)
Shailene Woodley (Divergent)
Danielle Bisutti (Curse of Chucky)
Monet Mazur (Blow)
Justin Bruening (Knight Rider 2008)
Daphne Ashbrook (The Love Letter)
Rodney Rowland (Veronica Mars)
James Black (Anger Management)
Ralph Waite (Bones)
Aisha Hinds (Cult)
Jamil Walker Smith (Stargate Universe)
Jonathan Keltz (Reign)
Justin Hartley (Smallville)
Diane Delano (Jeepers Creeprs 2)
Nikki Deloach (The Net 2.0)
Deirdre Lovejoy (Bones)
Keone Young (Crank)
Kim Coates (The Amityville Curse)
Timothy Omundson (Xena)
Jeffrey Combs (Gotham)
Kathleen Munroe (Stargate Universe)
John Pyper-Ferguson (Caprica)
Paul Wesley (The Vampire Diaries)
Brea Grant (Heroes)
Ronny Cox (Robocop)
Nichole Tom (Gotham)
M.C. Gainey (LosT)
James Karen (Hercules In New York)
Justin Leak (Powers)
Sean O’ Bryan (The Princess Diaries)
Cassidy Freeman (Smallville)
Patricia Belcher (Bones)
Jenna Leigh Green (Sabrina: TTW)
Vernee Watson (The Big Bang Theory)
Carl Lumbly (Alias)
Charles Napier (The Silence of The Lambs)
Joel Murray (Two and a Half Men)
Elena Satine (Revenge)
Nicole Bilderback (Buffy)
Erin Cummings (Spartacus)
Tania Raymonde (Lost)
Jonathan LaPaglia (Seven Days)
Keith Szarabajka (The Dark Knight)
Christine Woods (Flashforward)
Lee Majors (Ash vs Evil Dead)
Lindy Booth (Cry Wolf)
Adrienne Barbeau (Swamp Thing)
Raymond J. Barry (Lost)
Ttaylor Cole (Heroes)
Jeff Kober (New Girl)
Courtney Ford (True Blood)
David Starzyk (Veronica mars)
Bailey Chase (Buffy)
Wynn Everett (Agent Carter)
Brad Greenquist (Heroes)
Katherine LaNasa (Lie To Me)
Jeff Fahey (Planet Terror)
Clayne Crawford (Roswell)
Brit Morgan (Supergirl)
Jonathan Banks (The Lizzie Borden Chronciles)
Victoria Pratt (Mutant X)
Ryan Wynott (The Cape)
Jonathan Schaech (Legends of Tomorrow)
Valerie Azlynn (Julia X)
Muse Watson (I Know What You did Last Summer)
Michael Ironside (Total Recall)
Daniel Baldwin (Vampires)
Ashley Johsnon (Dollhouse)
Erin Chambers (Finding Carter)
Tracey Walter (Batman)
Loren Lester (Batman: TAS)
Chris Browning (Supergirl)
Dawn Olivieri (The Vampire Diaries)
Steven Culp (Jason Goes To Hell)
Meagan Good (D.E.B.S)
Steven Williams (The X-Files)
Loretta Devine (Crash)
Yara Shahidi (Ugly Betty)
Nelson Lee (Blade: The Series)
Steven Krueger (The Originals)
Lolita Davidovich (Santa Fe)
Alan Blumenfeld (Heroes)
Chandra West (White Noise)
Carel Struycken (The Addams Family)
Justina Vail (Highlander: The Series)
Rachel Miner (the Butterfly Effect )
Sean Maguire (Meet The Spartans)
Lauren Cohan (Chuck)
Roddy Piper (They Live)
Susanna Thompson (Arrow)
John D’Aquino (Seaquest)
Azura Skype (28 Days)
Johnny Messner (Anacondas)
Rob Benedict (Birds of Prey)
JR Bourne (Stargate SG.1)

I’m glad I got the opportunity to catch this show. It’s no doubt one of the best shows on TV, between 2003-2010. it was a very well written show. The episodes always has their twist even though the cases, at first sight, might seem pretty much alike. This show captures the individuality of each crime, the persons involved and the surroundings in a very good way.The fact that the crimes have been committed years ago and that everything involved has changed over the time, gives this show something different then every other cop show. It also captures the humanity of both the victims the suspects and the investigators. There are a lot of feeling in it and it often gets rather touching. Some episodes might contain elements from the characters personal life. It just gives the characters a life beyond the job and this is good as it never takes over the episode or is used to cover a bad plot. The show involves several investigators and you get to know them as well. They got lives and personalities too, yet they don’t steal the show from Rush, witch in the end is the star of the show.The cast is great. Kathryn Morris does a great job portraying Rush. The cinematography and lightning of this show is just beautiful. It all looks great. Both scenes from past and present. They have given the show a unique look. A kind of white or blue, cold look. They also manage to capture the unique eras in witch the crime was committed. You know just by looking witch decade we’re in. It’s the colors, the way they shoot, the quality and the overall look that make this. The art director, production designer, costume etc. deserves credit for this too. Making the sets and such fit the era.

The original music of this show it catching and good. In addition there is a lot of none original music from the year the crimes are committed. This really gives the right feel and easy gives you the idea of witch year we’re in. The only downside to the use of music of the era means that copyright laws prohibit them being used on DVD and this is why the show has yet come to disc.

REVIEW: BITCH SLAP

CAST

Julia Voth (Lilith)
Erin Cummings (Spartacus: Blood and Sand)
America Olivo (Mission Impossible 5)
Michael Hurst (Death Warmed Over)
Ron Melendez (Children of The Corn 3)
William Gregory Lee (Dark Angel)
Minae Noji (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Kevin Sorbo (Hercules: TLJ)
Lucy Lawless (Ash vs Evil Dead)
Renee O’ Connor (Boogeyman 2)
Mark Lutz (Angel)
Zoe Bell (Death Proof)
Debbie Lee Carrington (Total Recall)

Bitch Slap is everything you think it is. Girls. Guns. Catfights. Explosions. Lesbian romances. A story of bad guys, booty, alliances, betrayals, and secrets. It’s being billed as, “a post-modern, thinking man’s throwback to the B movie/exploitation films of the 1950s – 70s.This movie is irredeemably enjoyable, preposterous in both its story and its characters yet magnetic as a satire disguised as a schlocky male fantasy. It tells the story of three bad girls, all smoking hot, who find themselves in a plot to extort diamonds and weapons from an underworld kingpin, whose identity is a secret. The redhead is Hel, presumably short for Helen (Erin Cummings); she seems to be the leader of the group, tough but levelheaded, able to see the big picture and plan accordingly. The blonde is Camero (America Olivo), an oversexed hothead who’s on medication. She’s one of those people that hates everyone and is mad about everything, and has the dialogue to prove it. The brunette is a stripper named Trixie (Julia Voth), always upset, always overwhelmed, always wanting to play by the rules.Every opportunity is taken to flaunt their feminine assets, and boy, do they have them – a basic shot is a slow-motion close-up of heaving breasts and deep cleavage, although some time is set aside for bare legs. There’s never a moment when they aren’t wearing high heels or don’t have makeup painted on their faces. And then there are times when they pause to do a little manual labor, such as digging in the middle of the desert. My, but it’s burning hot, and … is that a bucket of water sitting there? Maybe they should splash each other playfully in order to stay cool. Things will heat back up later on, when Trixie and Hel discover that their feelings for one another are deeper than they first imagined. That’s about when the situation goes completely out of control. Loyalties change. Identities are revealed. People get shot. Things blow up. And catfights.Intertwined with this is a ridiculous but somehow appropriate subplot about a notorious criminal known only as Pinky, never dealt with directly and never seen but fabled to be the most dangerous criminal mastermind who ever lived. When Trixie innocently brings up the subject, Hel and Camero speak in the same tones as someone telling a ghost story around a campfire. “Many believe Pinky’s a phantom,” says Camero. “Others think he sold his soul to the devil. I think he IS the devil.” Maybe so; a flashback sequence shows a silhouetted figure going nuts with what appear to be samurai swords, used to decapitate people left and right. Do we ever discover what Pinky looks like? With such gorgeous women displayed on the big screen, can you honestly say that you care?
When this movie is not going out of its way to be sexy, then it’s being incredibly goofy. Take Olivo, for example; the angrier she gets, the funnier she becomes, not only because she spews unbelievably inane profanity, but also because her character is the most aggressive.Bitch Slap is  indeed a great film, projected up on the screen in all its violent, foulmouthed, double-D glory.also Kevin Sorbo, Lucy Lawless, and Renée O’Connor all have cameos in Bitch Slap.