Heather Ann Davis (The Lake)
Eric Callero (The Runaways)
Frank Pacheco (Wizards of Waverly Place)
Michael Adam Hamilton (Pink Slip)
Alice Rietveld (Divergent)
John Stevenson (Eternal Bliss)
Rebecca Ann Johnson (Anger Management)
Danny Trejo (Machete)
Emma Bell (Dallas)
One night, a young man named Ronald (Michael Hamilton) is attacked by an unseen assailant, and during the course of the attack he loses his shirt, then one of his teeth, and gains a tattoo. Finally, he’s bitten on his buttocks, which causes him to begin transforming into a vampire and incessantly break wind. A year later, Bella (Heather Ann Davis) asks her boyfriend Edward Colon (Eric Callero) to transform her into a vampire, but he insists that he marry her first. Bella also has to deal with the affections of Jacob (Frank Pacheco), a member of a pack of overweight, flatulent werewolves. One night, Edward gets a vision of Ronald breaking into Bella’s room, and brings her to the Colon family home for help, but they are unsure of what to do. Jacob then takes her to meet his grandfather (Danny Trejo), who recounts the time that he faced an ancient evil that manifested itself as “different characters all played the exact same way” (a stab at Johnny Depp and his performances as Jack Sparrow, Edward Scissorhands, Willy Wonka and The Mad Hatter), and believes that a similar incident is about to occur. With this information and a recent spate of people going missing, the Colons are able to deduce that a rogue vampire is creating an army of newborns (or “noobs”).
The army turns out to be under the control of Victoria (Kelsey Collins), who tells Ronald that she wants Bella dead on the ostensible grounds that Edward was responsible for the death of Gary Coleman. The noobs get Bella’s scent from a pornographic magazine, and the Colons realize that they cannot protect her, especially because of Rosalie’s homicidal rages toward her and Carlisle’s (John Stevenson) inability to stop himself from drinking her blood. She seeks refuge with her flamboyantly homosexual father Charlie (Flip Schultz), but soon realizes that she cannot stay with him either, due to his insistence in graphically describing his sex acts and holding orgies at his house. Eventually, Edward works out a compromise with Jacob, who takes Bella to safety and uses his flatulence to mask her scent.
 That night, Edward meets with Bella and Jacob and the three spend the night in a tent, where Jacob has sex with Bella as an oblivious Edward talks about how he thinks he and Jacob could be friends if they put their differences aside. The following morning the noobs catch up with the trio, but the Colons and Jacob’s pack also arrive, and a fight ensues. Bella distracts the noobs by eating a special cake given to her by Jacob, which causes her to experience severe flatulence and creates a smell bad enough to distract Victoria and the noobs long enough for the Colons to kill them all. Bella agrees to marry Edward, while Jacob accidentally ends up stabbing himself to death during a fight with a TMZ reporter. The movie then ends by parodying the trailer to Breaking Dawn – Part 1, followed by a segment ridiculing the reactions to said trailer (in the form of YouTube videos) by certain “Twi-Hard” fans of the series.
 This isnt very good, it strangles the life out of some poor jokes and the overdoing of them hails the films demise for me.





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Eliza Dushku (Tru Calling)
Harry Lennix (Man of Steel)
Fran Kranz (The Cabin In The Woods)
Tahmoh Penikett (Battlestar Galactica)
Enver Gjokaj (Agent Carter)
Dichen Lachman (Agents of SHIELD)
Olivia Williams (X-Men 3)
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Amy Acker (Angel)
Reed Diamond (Bones)
Liza Lapira (Cloverfield)
Kevin Kilner (Earth: Final Conflict)
VIncent Ventresca (Cold Case)
Alan Tudyk (Firefly)
Alexis Denisof (Avengers Assemble)
Keith Carradine (The Big Bang Theory)
Summer Glau (Arrow)
Matt Keeslar (Scream 3)
Miracle Laurie (Insane Jane)
Mark Sheppard (Chuck)
Erin Cumming (Spartacus)
Jim Piddock (The Man)
Anson Mount (In Her Shoes)
David Alpay (The Vampire Diaries)
Aisha Hinds (Cult)
Patton Oswalt (Caprica)
Mehcad Brooks (Supergirl)
Octavia Spencer (Mom)
Emma Bell (Final Destination 5)
Teddy Sears (The Flash)
Jordan Bridges (J. Edgar)
Ian Anthony Dale (Mr. 3000)
Gregg Henry (Slither)
Ashley Johnson (Roswell)
Felicia Day (The Guild)
Janina Gavankar (True Blood)
Chris William Martin (The Vampire Diaries)
Adair Tishler (Heroes)
Zack Ward (Transformers)
Clayton Rohner (The Relic)
Jamie Bamber (Battlestar Galactica)
Kristoffer Polaha (Ringer)
Stacey Scowley (The Brotherhood 2)
Michael Hogan (Red Riding Hood)
Nelson Franklin (New Girl)
Ray Wise (Swamp Thing)
Adam Godley (Powers)

Dollhouse is a near-future SF tv series, featuring Eliza Dushku as Echo, a woman working for the secretive “Dollhouse” who has voluntarily had her personality wiped in order to be imprinted with any mind and skills a client requires. While initially very episodic, a longer plotline slowly emerges as the more disturbing aspects of this technology and the Dollhouse emerges.

This series comes from the mind of Joss Whedon, responsible for Buffy, Angel, and Firefly. Like Firefly, Dollhouse was cancelled ignominiously in its second season, so be warned that you will not get the full story Whedon planned to write. Whedon has a real genius for producing brilliant genre TV that delights fans but doesn’t make it as a mainstream show, and the tension between his desire to tell a big story, while not alienating casual viewers, shows in the early episodes, which see Echo sent off on unrelated assignments.

Echo’s assignments range from the obvious seductions to less obvious tasks such as bodyguard and safe-cracker. As time goes on, we see her blank state slowly becoming not so blank. An outside element is provided by FBI agent Ballard, who is investigating the Dollhouse, and becomes obsessed with locating Echo and finding why she would enter the Dollhouse.

Once the first season gets into its stride it deals with rogue agent Alpha, whose eventual return causes chaos, and the ongoing investigation of Ballard. Slowly building along with this are the big questions of what the corporation behind the Dollhouse really want, what could be done with this technology, and how the apparently-wiped minds slowly find a personality. Season two attempts to kick into high gear, and throws some more radical changes into the mix, including glimpses of the eventual result of the Dollhouse technology, but ultimately couldn’t avoid cancellation.

Dollhouse has some excellent secondary characters, and tries to create an ensemble despite Dushku being very much the face of the show. Characters such as Topher, DeWitt, Langton, and Dr Saunders are brilliantly drawn, and the dialogue sparkles. As ever with a Whedon product, the characters draw you in and make you wish you could watch them again and again.

Ultimately Dollhouse is a brave but failed attempt to create something a little different, and provoke some real thought, in a genre that sometime gets too bland. It’s well worth watching, but doesn’t give the full story its vision deserved.