REVIEW: ARACHNOQUAKE

CAST

Edward Furlong (Terminator 2)
Ethan Phillips (Star Trek Voyager)
Tracey Gold (Growing Pains)
Bug Hall (Subterranea)
Megan Adelle (Straw Dogs)
Gralen Bryant Banks (Kiler Joe)
Tiara Ashleigh (Mesure of Faith)

After years of the oil company fracking, an earthquake ensues in New Orleans, unleashing giant subterranean, fire breathing, carnivorous spiders with an appetite for human eyeballs. 30 year old slacker tour bus driver, Paul, must lead his group to safety into the swamps of Louisiana when the bus (and town) is over run by the deadly arachnids. It is here it is discovered they can run across water as well, and the hive with the queen, as well. As far as SyFy films go, this one isn’t half-bad. I enjoyed it to an extant because of its utter ridiculousness. The acting wasn’t too grating, The CGI is bad but it’s what you come to accept from these movies. If you are looking for a serious movie, then look elsewhere, if you just want to sit back to a cheesy sci-fi monster movie then I would recommend this flick.

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REVIEW: 3 BIND MICE

CAST

Edward Furlong (Terminator 2)
Emilia Fox (The Pianist)
Chiwetel Ejiofor (Serenity)
Sara Stewart (Batman Begins)
Ben Miles (V For Vendetta)
Elsa Zylberstein (Little Jerusalem)

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Thomas is a young computer specialist who spends most of his (spare?) time on the net. He logs regularly on Cathy’s site and apparently runs a very strong – but platonic! – relationship with her: they only see each other through web cams. One day, while Thomas is connected, Cathy is murdered under his eyes. But when he calls the police to try to “do something” he realizes that he doesn’t even know her real name or address. Thomas, apparently the only witness, will soon find himself involved in the investigation held by Claire, a young police officer who is also a web specialist. Together they will discover in the real world, as well as in the virtual one, very weird things.1901917,TfpHoAlyl6FoVNR2ljANu6zfG6xNplQYfKbP39Vm3ZJIi75vFXO3NmZIU+XSYCulLey6IYfq2lw7wYU8phVTZA==A thought provoking and interesting low budget film. Emilia Fox is excellent in it.

REVIEW: TERMINATOR 2: JUDGEMENT DAY

CAST

Arnold Schwarzenegger (Maggie)
Linda Hamilton (Chuck)
Edward Furlong (American History X)
Robert Patrick (D-Tox)
Earl Boen (Marked For Death)
Michael Biehn (Cherry Falls)
Joe Morton (Speed)
S. Epatha Merkerson (Black Snake Moan)
Jenette Goldstein (Aliens)
Xander Berkeley (Justice)
Nikki Cox (Las Vegas)
Dean Norris (Breaking Bad)
Mark Christopher Lawrence (Chuck)
Sven-Ole Thorsen (Mallrats)

In 1995, John Connor is living in Los Angeles with foster parents. His mother Sarah Connor had been preparing him throughout his childhood for his future role as the Human Resistance leader against Skynet – the artificial intelligence that will be given control of the United States’ nuclear missiles and initiate a nuclear holocaust called “Judgment Day” on August 29, 1997 – but was arrested and imprisoned at a mental hospital after attempting to bomb a computer factory. Skynet sends a new Terminator, designated as T-1000, back in time to kill John. The T-1000 is an advanced prototype made out of mimetic polyalloy (referred to as “liquid metal”) that gives it the ability to take on the shape and appearance of almost anything it touches, as well as knives and other stabbing weapons. The T-1000 arrives under a freeway, kills a policeman and assumes his identity. Meanwhile, the future John Connor has sent back a reprogrammed T-800 (Model 101) Terminator to protect his young counterpart.The Terminator and the T-1000 converge on John in a shopping mall, and a chase ensues after which John and the Terminator escape together on a motorcycle. Fearing that the T-1000 will kill Sarah in order to get to him, John orders the Terminator to help free her. They encounter Sarah as she is escaping from the hospital, although she is initially reluctant to trust the T-800. After the trio escapes from the T-1000 in a police car, the Terminator informs John and Sarah about Skynet’s history. In addition, it would create machines that will hunt and kill the remnants of humanity. Sarah learns that the man most directly responsible for Skynet’s creation is Miles Bennett Dyson, a Cyberdyne Systems engineer working on a revolutionary new neural net processor that will form the basis for Skynet.Sarah gathers weapons from an old friend and plans to flee with John to Mexico, but after having a nightmare about Judgment Day, she instead sets out to kill Dyson in order to prevent Judgment Day from occurring. Finding him at his home, she wounds him but finds herself unable to kill him in front of his family. John and the Terminator arrive and inform Dyson of the future consequences of his work. They learn that much of his research has been reverse engineered from the damaged CPU and the right arm of the previous Terminator. Convincing him that these items and his designs must be destroyed, they break into the Cyberdyne building and retrieve the CPU and the arm. The police arrive and Dyson is shot, but he manages to trigger several explosives, destroying the lab and his research while sacrificing himself. The T-1000 relentlessly pursues the surviving trio, eventually cornering them in a steel mill.The T-1000 and the Terminator engage in physical combat, with the advanced model severely damaging its adversary. The T-800 is seemingly shut down until its emergency back-up system brings it back online. The T-1000 nearly kills John and Sarah until the T-800 appears and shoots it into a vat of molten steel with an M79 grenade launcher, destroying it. John tosses the arm and CPU of the original Terminator into the vat as well. As Sarah expresses relief that the ordeal is over, the Terminator explains that to ensure that he is not used for reverse engineering he must also be destroyed. It asks Sarah to assist in lowering it into the vat of molten steel, since it is unable to “self-terminate”, although John begs the Terminator to reconsider his decision. It bids them farewell as it is lowered into the vat. The Terminator gives a tearful John a final thumbs-up as it disappears into the molten steel and shuts down. Sarah looks to the future with hope, musing that “if a machine … can learn the value of human life, maybe we can too.”Arguably the finest film of its kind, Terminator 2: Judgment Day captured Arnold Schwarzenegger at the very apex of his Hollywood celebrity and James Cameron at the peak of his perfectionist directorial powers. Nothing the star did subsequently measured up to his iconic performance here, spouting legendary catchphrases and wielding weaponry with unparalleled cool; and while the director had an even bigger hit with the bloated and sentimental Titanic, few followers of his career would deny that Cameron’s true forte has always been sci-fi action. With an incomparably bigger budget than its 1984 precursor, T2 essentially reworks the original scenario with envelope-stretching special effects and simply more, more, more of everything. Yet, for all its scale, T2 remains at heart a classic sci-fi tale.

REVIEW: THE CROW 4: WICKED PRAYER

 

CAST

Edward Furlong (Terminator 2)
David Boreanaz (Bones)
Tara Reid (American Pie)
Marcus Chong (The Matrix)
Dennis Hopper (Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2)
Emmanuelle Chriqui (Wrong Turn)
Danny Trejo (Machete)

Image result for the crow wicked prayerJames “Jimmy” Cuervo (Edward Furlong), paroled after serving a prison sentence for killing a rapist in a fight, lives with his dog in a mobile home in Lake Ravasu on the Raven Aztec reservation. Jimmy plans to start a new life with his girlfriend, Lily (Emmanuelle Chriqui), and leave the town for good. Lily’s priest father, Harold (Danny Trejo), and brother, local cop Tanner (Dave L. Ortiz), both despise Jimmy, however.
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The town is home to a Satanic biker gang led by escaped convict Luc “Death” Crash (David Boreanaz) and his fiancée Lola Byrne (Tara Reid). Along with their three confederates “Pestilence” (Yuji Okumoto), “Famine” (Tito Ortiz) and “War” (Marcus Chong), Luc and Lola murder Lily and Jimmy in a brutal ritual that they hope will conjure the rebirth of the Antichrist. The ritual includes removing Lily’s eyes — bestowing precognitive powers upon Lola — and Jimmy’s heart. They dump the bodies inside an old freezer.
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The Crow then appears and returns Jimmy to life. Jimmy discovers his newfound invincibility after attempting to shoot himself. He takes Lily’s body and leaves it on her bed so it can be found. Tanner and Harold find the body and assume it was Jimmy who killed Lily.
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On the night of a local festivity, Jimmy dons a gothic costume and make-up he wore to the celebration a previous year. He finds and kills Pestilence in a bar. He then seizes the hearse carrying Lily’s body, and buries her near the tree where he carved a love symbol for them both. Jimmy goes to a casino and kills Famine in front of Luc. A fight ensues between Jimmy and Luc during which the crow, the source of Jimmy’s power, is injured, thereby weakening Jimmy. Tanner finds Jimmy and accuses him of killing Lily, but Jimmy shows Tanner telepathically what really happened.
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Luc and Lola visit El Niño (Dennis Hopper), the head of their order, at an abandoned Catholic church. Tanner and Harold and a group of men assemble outside to confront them. As El Niño is performing the marriage ceremony that will bring Luc closer to the power he craves, Jimmy, Tanner, Harold, and the other men arrive and shoot War. El Niño completes the ceremony as Jimmy enters the church. Luc, now a host for Lucifer himself, telekinetically hangs Jimmy from a cross, while Lola kills El Niño. Luc and Lola leave the church and head to a nearby burial ground where they must consummate their ritual before sunrise in order for Lucifer to fully manifest.
Image result for the crow wicked prayerHarold, Tanner, and the others free Jimmy, who tells them the crow is dying. In order to heal the bird and restore Jimmy’s powers, Harold performs the Crow Dance. Weakened, Jimmy heads to the graveyard and stops Luc from having sex with Lola. Luc and Jimmy engage in a fight and the revived crow returns, restoring Jimmy’s invulnerability. The sun rises and Luc’s ritual is destroyed. Jimmy then kills Luc by impaling him on a wooden spike and cutting his throat. Lola loses her sight and tries to repent by praying to the Virgin Mary, but it is too late: Harold apprehends her and takes her to prison. Jimmy and Lily’s spirits find each other in the afterlife.
Image result for the crow wicked prayerI honestly have to steer people away, as only the true die-hard fans would want to see it, for the sake of saying they have seen it. Every one else would be put off the movies for good!

 

REVIEW: THE GREEN HORNET (2011)

 

CAST
Seth Rogen (Bad Neighbours)
Jay Chou (Curse of The Golden Flower)
Cameron Diaz (Sex Tape)
Tom Wilkinson (Batman Begins)
Christoph Waltz (Django Unchained)
David Harbour (End of Watch)
Edward James Olmos (Blade Runner)
Jamie Harris (Rise of The Planet of The Apes)
Chad L. Coleman (The Walking Dead)
Edward Furlong (Terminator 2)
Taylor Cole (Heroes)
James Franco (This Is The End)
Britt Reid (Seth Rogen) is the irresponsible, 28-year-old slacker son of widower James Reid (Tom Wilkinson), publisher of the Daily Sentinel, a successful Los Angeles newspaper. Britt’s attitude changes when James is found dead from an allergic reaction to a bee sting. After the funeral, Britt fires the staff aside from his maid, but later re-hires Kato (Jay Chou), James’s mechanic and a highly skilled martial artist.
Britt and Kato get drunk together and, upon agreeing that they both hated James, visit the graveyard to cut the head off James’s memorial statue. After they succeed, they rescue a nearby couple being mugged. When police mistake Britt and Kato themselves for criminals, Kato evades them in a car chase as he and Britt return to the mansion.
Britt convinces Kato they should become crime-fighters who pose as criminals in order to infiltrate real criminals, and to prevent enemies from using innocents against them. Kato then develops a special car outfitted with several gadgets and weapons, which they call the Black Beauty. Britt plans to capture Benjamin Chudnofsky (Christoph Waltz), a Russian mobster uniting the criminal families of Los Angeles under his command, and whom his father was trying to expose. To get Chudnofsky’s attention, Britt uses Daily Sentinel as a vehicle to publish articles about the “high-profile criminal” the Green Hornet.
Britt hires Lenore Case (Cameron Diaz), who has a degree in journalism and a minor in criminology, as his assistant and researcher, and uses her unwitting advice to raise the Green Hornet’s profile. Britt and Kato blow up several of Chudnofsky’s meth labs, leaving calling cards so Chudnofsky can contact them. Throughout all this, the Daily Sentinel’s managing editor Mike Axford (Edward James Olmos) fears this single-minded coverage will endanger Britt’s life, and District Attorney Frank Scanlon (David Harbour) frets over public perception that he cannot stop the Green Hornet.
Britt asks Lenore out, but she rebuffs him and instead invites Kato to dinner, making Britt jealous. Kato learns from her that mobsters often offer a peace summit to rivals in order to get close enough to kill them; Britt then tells Kato that Chudnofsky has offered them such a meeting. Kato tries dissuading him, but Britt, feeling overshadowed, follows his instincts. This nearly proves fatal when Chudnofsky tries to kill them.
Barely escaping to the mansion, Britt and Kato argue and fight, and Britt fires both Kato and Lenore, who he believes are in a relationship. Kato receives an email from Chudnofsky on the Hornet’s calling-card email address, offering $1 million and half of Los Angeles to the “Hornet” if he kills Britt or keeps him alive, and he is deciding to dub himself “Bloodnosfky”. Meanwhile, Britt discovers Scanlon is corrupt, learning that he tried to bribe James into downplaying the city’s level of crime in order to help his career.
Scanlon invites Britt to meet in a restaurant, where he reveals he murdered Britt’s father with a drug injection similar to an alergic reaction of a bee sting. Kato arrives, and instead of killing Britt attacks Chudnofsky’s men and Scanlon, allowing him and Britt, who Chudnofsky deduces is the real Green Hornet, to escape. At the Daily Sentinel, Britt intends to upload a recording of Scanlon’s confession onto the Web—and belatedly discovers he did not manage to record it. Chudnofsky and his men, who followed the duo there, engage them in a fierce firefight. Kato ultimately stabs Chudnofsky in the eyes with wood in self-defense and Britt shoots him to death with Chudnofsky’s gun. A SWAT team appears and fires at the Green Hornet and Kato, who use the remains of their nearly demolished Black Beauty to run Scanlon out the 10th-floor window, killing him. The Green Hornet and Kato flee to Lenore’s house, where she learns their secret identities and that she has been the accidental mastermind behind the Green Hornet’s plots. Despite being furious, she helps them hide from the police and tends to Britt’s shoulder gunshot wound.
The next morning, Britt promotes Axford to editor-in-chief and stages being shot in the shoulder by Kato, further establishing the Green Hornet as a threat and allowing Britt to get treated by professionals in a hospital. Later, the two weld James’ stolen head back onto his memorial statue. Now with Lenore to aid them, Britt and Kato vow to continue protecting the law by breaking it.
It’s by no means an outstanding film, but I thought there was some very funny bits in it!! There’s also a decent amount of action and great special effects! It’s typical harmless hollywood fun… and great entertainment for a saturday afternoon!