REVIEW: DODGEBALL

CAST

Vince Vaughn (Swingers)
Christine Taylor (Zoolander)
Ben Stiller (Along Came Polly)
Rip Torn (Men In Black)
Justin Long (Waiting…)
Stephen Root (King of the Hill)
Joel David Moore (Bones)
Chris Williams (Silicon Valley)
Alan Tudyk (Firefly)
William Shatner (Star Trek)
Missi Pyle (Gone Girl)
Gary Cole (Chuck)
Jason Bateman (The Ex)
Hank Azaria (The Smurfs)
Chuck Norris (A Force of One)
David Hasselhoff (Prianha 3DD)
Julie Gonzalo (Veronica Mars)
Suzy Nakamura (Deep Impact)
Curtis Armstrong (New Girl)

Peter LaFleur (Vince Vaughn) is the owner of Average Joe’s, a small and financially unsuccessful gym with a handful of loyal oddball members. When he defaults on the gym’s mortgage, it is purchased by his rival White Goodman (Ben Stiller), a fitness guru and owner of the successful Globo-Gym across the street. Unless Peter can raise $50,000 in thirty days to cover his mortgage, White will foreclose on Average Joe’s and demolish it to build a parking garage for his gym members. Attorney Kate Veatch (Christine Taylor) is working on the transaction for White. White repeatedly and unsuccessfully attempts to charm her, and she instead develops a friendship with Peter while reviewing his financial records.
Average Joe’s employees Dwight (Chris Williams) and Owen (Joel David Moore) and members Steve “the Pirate” (Alan Tudyk), Justin (Justin Long), and Gordon (Stephen Root) try to raise the money needed to save the gym. Gordon suggests that they enter a dodgeball tournament in Las Vegas with a $50,000 prize. They form a team with Peter and watch a 1950s-era training video narrated by dodgeball legend “Patches” O’Houlihan (Hank Azaria). They are soundly defeated by a Girl Scout troop in a local qualifying match, but win by default when the Scouts are disqualified because of one member’s steroid and beaver tranquilizer use.
White has been spying on Average Joe’s using a hidden camera, and forms his own elite dodgeball team to oppose them. Peter is approached by the aging, wheelchair-bound Patches (Rip Torn), who volunteers to coach the Average Joe’s team. Patches’ training regimen includes throwing wrenches at the team, forcing them to dodge oncoming cars, and constantly berating them with insults. Kate demonstrates skill at the game, but declines an offer to join the team as it would be a conflict of interest owing to her contract with White. However upon noticing a loophole in the contract with Kate, White arranges for her to be fired from her law firm so that dating him would not be a conflict of interest in itself. This infuriates Kate and motivates her to join the Average Joe’s team.
At the tournament in Las Vegas, Average Joe’s suffers early setbacks but manages to advance to the final round against Globo-Gym. The night before the match, Patches is killed, ironically, by a fallen “Luck of the Irish” sign. This shakes Peter’s confidence; he expresses his fear that the team will lose to Globo-Gym and berates Steve for his childish pirate persona, causing Steve to leave the team. White offers Peter $100,000 for the deed to Average Joe’s, which Peter accepts. The day of the final round, Justin leaves to help his classmate Amber (Julie Gonzalo) with a cheerleading competition, leaving the Average Joe’s team without enough members to compete. Peter has a chance encounter with Lance Armstrong, who shames him into rejoining his team, but he arrives too late: Average Joe’s has already been forced to forfeit. Gordon finds a loophole in the rules: a majority of the judges can overturn the forfeiture. Chuck Norris casts the tie-breaking vote allowing the team to play.
After a fierce game, Peter and White face off in a sudden-death match to determine the winner. Inspired by a vision of Patches, Peter blindfolds himself and is able to dodge White’s throw and strike him, winning the championship and the prize money. White declares the victory meaningless, since Peter had sold Average Joe’s to him the previous night, but Peter reveals that he used White’s $100,000 to bet on Average Joe’s to win; with the odds against them at 50 to 1, he has won $5 million. He can now buy a controlling interest in Globo-Gym, which now also includes Average Joe’s, and fire White. Steve returns to the group after Peter apologizes to him. He has appeared to have quit being a pirate until Peter rouses him back to his old self. Peter is dismayed when a girlfriend of Kate’s, who was in the audience, kisses her passionately, but Kate then reveals that she is bisexual and kisses Peter as well. Justin also finds romance with Amber, while Owen begins dating Fran (Missi Pyle) from the Globo-Gym team. Peter opens youth dodgeball classes at a newly renovated and now-successful Average Joe’s, while White, as depicted in a vignette that appears during the credits becomes massively obese from “drowning his sorrows” in junk food in which he laments on his loss, blaming it on Norris, plays with his prosthetic breasts and sings along to Kelis’ “My Milkshake”, and criticizes the “American cinema” for not appreciating any complexity over entertainment.
A comedy classic, if you’re into the dry humour of Vince Vaughn and some cracking one liners throughout, this film is for you.

REVIEW: THE NEW GUY

CAST

DJ Qualls (Road Trip)
Eddie Griffin (Undercover Brother)
Eliza Dushku (Tru Calling)
Zooey Deschanel (New Girl)
Jerod Mixon (Old School)
Parry Shen (Better Luck Tomorrow)
Lyle Lovett (The Bridge)
Sunny Mabrey (Species III)
Geoffrey Lewis (Double Impact)
Charlie O’ Connell (Cruel Intentions)
Illeandra Douglas (Ghost World)
Henry Rollins (Wrong Turn 2)
Kurt Fuller (Midnight In Paris)
Julius Carry (Two Guys and a Girl)
M.C. Gainey (Lost)
David Hasselhoff (Piranha 3DD)
Jerry O’Connell (Scream Queens
Vanilla Ice (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II)
Kyle Gass (Elf)

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The film begins with prison inmate Luther speaking directly to the camera to an unseen individual, telling the story of Dizzy Gillespie Harrison, an 18-year-old nerdy high school senior. Dizzy is friends with Nora, Kirk, and Glen, who together started a funk rock band and are addicted to video games. They attend Rocky Creek High School, where Dizzy is picked on by basically everyone, especially star football player Barclay. This occurs before and after sex symbol Tina Osgood holds his hands, causing him to have an erection and ends up activating the trap where the jocks belittle him with no mercy. Dizzy’s white briefs were yanked from underneath his pants and placed around his head – revealing the erect penis in plain sight to nearly everyone instead of “covering it.” The school librarian would eventually “break” it after Dizzy refuses to “hand” over the “weapon” to her. Dizzy is misdiagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome; he is then placed on medication by the school counselor who advises his father to spend every moment possible with him. While at the mall’s food court, the heavily medicated Dizzy makes a fool of himself at a church revival and gets arrested.
Image result for the new guyIn jail, Dizzy meets Luther, who turns out to be a sympathetic ex-victim who makes it his goal to teach him how to be cool. In an attempt to wipe the slate clean, Dizzy gets himself expelled from his old high school, then undergoes a makeover with the help of the prison inmates and guards.[2] Changing his name to ‘Gil Harris’, he enrolls at East Highland High and makes an impression by being dropped off in a prison van in restraints (a reference to Con Air) and beating up the school bully, Connor.
The action has an intended effect, and head cheerleader Danielle welcomes the newcomer to school. Her friend Courtney invites Dizzy to a party and through a mishap, Dizzy gives Courtney the impression that he has rejected her. Using a photo given to him by the prison inmates and help from his old friends, Dizzy manages to escape the party with his reputation intact. Upon returning home, however, he finds his father has agreed to sell his house and quit work to supervise him, which results in the pair living in a trailer.
At the football game, Dizzy, referencing General Patton in the film, gives an impassioned speech to the team, who proceed to win their first game. He is soon enlisted by the coach and principal to plan the school’s homecoming dance, and becomes imbued with school spirit, shedding his bad boy image.However, Dizzy and Gil are fast becoming too big for one body. When Nora berates Dizzy for becoming the same person he once hated, he uses his newfound popularity to confront Connor. Dizzy and Danielle spur the students to reunite, and the lines dividing the different cliques are broken. With a new philosophy, the school football team begins to win games and bullying becomes a thing of the past. Reaching the state championship, where they play Rocky Creek, Dizzy’s antics on the sideline cost Rocky Creek the game, although Barclay recognizes his old punching bag. At school the next day, he attempts to beat up Dizzy, and is in turn attacked by the entire student body. After the attack, Connor helps up Barclay from the ground, telling him he wants to know what he knows (about Dizzy).
The homecoming dance, which Dizzy’s funk band is supposed to play, is crashed by the students of Rocky Creek. Barclay and Connor, who have joined forces to set a trap for Dizzy, play an embarrassing video of the librarian incident. However, Luther and the other inmates arrive to save Dizzy and tie up the two bullies. Nora admits longstanding feelings for Glen, and after Danielle reveals that she was also a nerd growing up and forgives him for hiding who he was they reconcile. uther ends the film, and the man he is talking to is revealed to be David Hasselhoff.
Image result for the new guyA Great Movie to watch if you want to feel good because you wont stop laughing.

REVIEW: NICK FURY: AGENT OF S.H.I.E.L.D.

CAST

David Hasselhoff (Click)
Lisa Rinna (Veronica Mars)
Sandra Hess (Mortal Kombat: Annilation)
Neil Roberts (Holby City)
Garry Chalk (Dark Angel)
Tracy Waterhouse (Elysium)
Tom McBeath (Bates Motel)
Ron Canada (Cinderella Man)
Bill Croft (Andromeda)
Roger Cross (Arrow)

hqdefaultThe first live-action interpretation of Nick Fury, played by none other than David Hasselhoff. In this 1998 made-for-TV movie, The Hoff stars as the comic-book super spy, alongside soap star Lisa Rinna as Contessa Valentina ‘Val’ de Allegro Fontaine and a cast of relative unknowns. Now, in an effort to capitalize on Jackson’s notable appearance and the current popularity of comic-book properties on the big screen, the first Nick Fury film was released on DVD.There are a few things you should know. Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D. is not a good film.At times it seems as if the filmmakers knew they didn’t have the talent, schedule or budget to make a quality film, so they took the so-bad-it’s-good approach. Except they never quite got as far as the “good” part. The acting is cringe worthy, the dialogue is laughable, the action scenes are awkwardly choreographed, the plot is unoriginal and little attempt has been made to be faithful to the original comic-book mythology beyond the use of the characters’ names.andrea-von-strucker-nick-fury-agent-of-shieldFor what it’s worth, the story centers on a plot hatched by Andrea von Strucker (aka Viper), the daughter of Nick Fury’s defeated nemesis, Baron Wolfgang von Strucker, described in the film as “last of the great global boogey men.” As the new head of the terrorist organization known as HYDRA, she threatens to launch a deadly biological attack on Manhattan in the form of the Death’s Head Virus, unless she is paid in the sum of $1 billion.forgottenfilmsnickfuryThe threat is big enough to bring Nick Fury back into the field after five years of forced retirement. He’s understandably reluctant to return to S.H.I.E.L.D. — which, in this case, stands for the inelegantly named “Supreme Headquarters International Espionage Law Enforcement Division”  until his old flame Val shows up and convinces him of the impending danger posed by von Strucker’s evil spawn. He assembles a task force — including Val, psychic Kate Neville (Tracy Waterhouse) and the eager but untested Agent Pierce (Neil Roberts) — to disarm the missiles containing the virus and to take down Viper before she can escape to do more damage. Don’t let the cover of the DVD fool you. Though this is touted as coming “from one of the writers of Batman Begins” there’s no trace of the realism or tragic darkness of that film. The writer in question is David Goyer, who’s been involved in his share of high-profile genre projects (namely the Blade trilogy). As one of his earlier and less successful efforts, he’d probably be content for this title to remain in obscurity.Even if the dialogue was stellar, the real problem would be with Hasselhoff’s forced and overly dramatic performance. He’s hopelessly miscast as the hard-as-nails, playing-by-his-own-rules Fury. No matter how much he poses or chomps on cigars with flourish, there’s nothing tough or intimidating about him. As a fighter, he’s slow and stiff in his movements. So much so that it’s distractingly obvious whenever the choreography has been adjusted to compensate for his lack of agility and when a stunt double has been brought in to do it for him. There’s never any danger of the audience taking the character too seriously. But Hasselhoff is not alone in this regard. There’s plenty of atrocious acting in this film that he’s not responsible for, amplified by a mesh of excruciating attempts at various accents, both foreign and American. The worst offender is Sandra Hess as Viper, who takes the character too far into the realm of camp that she actually surpasses Hasselhoff in terms of overacting. In the end, the story’s resolution allows for her return in future adventures. Needless to say, and thankfully,  that’s not going to happen.hqdefault.jpgThe character of Nick Fury has a rich history and a deep back story that may someday make for a good film. But this low-budget, low-quality affair is definitely not it.

 

REVIEW: HOP

CAST

Russell Brand (Get Him To The Greek)
James Marsden (X-Men)
Kaley Cuoco (The Big Bang Theory)
Hank Azaria (The Smurfs)
Gary Cole (Chuck)
Elizabeth Perkins (Weeds)
Hugh Laurie (House)
Tiffany Espensen (Repo Men)
David Hasselhoff (Click)
Chelsea Handler (Fun Size)
Dustin Ybarra (Gotham)
Hugh Hefner (Citizen Toxie)

MV5BODg2NzE5NDY1MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTMzNTY3NA@@._V1_SY1000_CR0,0,1317,1000_AL_The character of E.B., who is the son of the Easter Bunny is the main animated character in the film. I felt the animation for him was really good, he was a realistic looking bunny, wearing normal clothes, and certainly appeals to the films younger viewers.He’s voiced by Russell Brand his voice suited the character and I felt he really brought E.B. to life. E.B. himself is fun, loves life and wants to be a drummer, something you don’t expect of a rabbit and this is why he doesn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps. But I enjoyed the change in the character when he realises his father is in danger, and it sends a good message to the movies younger viewers.Film Title: HopJames Marsden is the human character in the film, Fred O’Hare. Fred is a grown up who has no idea what he wants to do with his life, so ends up house-sitting for his sister’s rich boss. He meets E.B. by chance, and the pair strike up an unklikely friendship. Considering he is having to act to something that isn’t actually in front of him, Marsden does a fantastic job interacting with the character of E.B., and at no point do you think he’s acting to nothing, he does a great job, he’s very animated and the friendship between Fred and E.B. is really genuine and sweet. I also have to mention the hilarious chick called Carlos who is determined to become the first Easter Chick against the odds, Hank Azaria voices him wonderfully and he’s simply hilarious to listen to and watch!The story itself isn’t anything amazing – Easter Bunny wants his son to follow in his footsteps, son doesn’t want to but when he realises his dad is in danger tries to save the day. There is a quite a bit of comedy throughout the film, mainly courtesy of Carlos, but Marsden does his best with the script too. I did like the 2 Pink Berets, action bunnies sent out to hunt down E.B.The animation was lovely, the story a bit ridiculous with some adult references in there the kids won’t get (the Playboy mansion!) but overall a watchable children’s movie. It isn’t the best by means, but it’s a nice way to pass the time!

REVIEW: CLICK

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CAST

Adam Sandler (50 First Dates)
Kate Beckinsale (Underworld)
Christopher Walken (The Prophecy)
David Hasselhoff (Knight Rider)
Henry Winkler (Happy Days)
Julie Kavner (The Simpsons)
Sean Astin (The Goonies)
Jonah Hill (Cyprus)
Jake Hoffman (Hook)
Katie Cassidy (Arrow)
Cameron Monaghan (Gotham)
Jennifer Coolidge (2 broke Girls)
Terry Crews (White Chicks)
Rob Scneider (The Hot Chick)
James Earl Jones (Star Wars)
Carolyn Hennesy (Legally Blonde 2)

Michael Newman is overworked and under appreciated by his boss, worse still, he doesn’t have enough hours in the day to devote time to his loving family. But then he happens upon eccentric salesman Morty, who puts a universal remote control Michael’s way, a control that perfectly controls his life…….at first.ClickFilms that deal with second chances via gods, angels and devils are not in short supply, everything from the mighty It’s A Wonderful Life, to the amiable Mr Destiny have covered this fantastical field. Enter Click, starring Adam Sandler {Newman}, another spin on the genre with the added kick of encompassing modern day technology into the equation. Split very much into two vastly different halves, Click finds Sandler reining in his usual shouty goof ball persona. Naturally for the first part we get the comedy set ups, at times hilarious and at others a little crass, but it’s never sledgehammer comedy of the like that Sandler has previously served up in spades. The reason for the restraint becomes evident when the films second half arrives, full of emotional fortitude it’s something of a shock at first to grasp the switch in tone, but it works real well, and it’s testament to Sandler’s straight acting ability that he manages to sway the viewer into this fantastical realm.ClickClick is no genius piece of work, and for the genre it tackles it’s probably some way short of being up with the best. It does however punch the right buttons. From Sandler and a highly accomplished supporting cast {Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken, Sean Astin and Henry Winkler}, to its delightful and rewarding finale, this most definitely is one that is worth punching play.