REVIEW: RISE OF THE ZOMBIES

CAST

Danny Trejo (Machete)
Ethan Suplee (My Name Is Earl)
Mariel Hemingway (Star 80)
LeVar Burton (Star Trek: TNG)
Heather Hemmens (Hellcats)
French Stewart (3rd Rock From The Sun)
Chad Lindberg (The Fast and The Furious)

14444786133A water-borne virus has led to a widespread outbreak of zombies in San Francisco. A group of survivors, including Dr. Lynn Snyder (Mariel Hemingway) and others, create a refuge on Alcatraz Island. Snyder receives communications from Dr. Arnold (French Stewart), a scientist conducting experiments to create a cure for the virus. Meanwhile, Dr. Dan Halpern (LeVar Burton), another of the refugees, is studying parts culled from the bodies of the zombies, but he is unable to make much headway because he only has access to ‘dead’ zombies. His research is further hindered when Caspian (Danny Trejo) and other refugees burn the zombie corpses being stored on the island.zombies27tvf-1-webA horde of zombies are washed onto the island by the tides, causing panic in the camp. While they are defeated, many of the refugees are killed, and two are infected by the virus, one of them being Halpern’s daughter, Julie (Kerisse Hutchinson). The survivors decide to set out for the mainland, while Halpern stays to study the two infected victims. Later in the film, Halpern is forced to kill himself by detonating a grenade when his daughter bites him, before the virus can claim him as well. The group on the mainland splits in two because of conflicting goals. Snyder wishes to find Dr. Arnold, as she believes he has found a cure, while Caspian’s group instead wants to find supplies and ultimately reach what they believe to be an evacuation point. Caspian and several others are soon infected, and the group’s numbers dwindle. It is eventually revealed that the ‘evacuation point’ has already been overrun by the zombies, rendering escape seemingly impossible. As the group siphones gas from a car, Ashley commits suicide on a trolly by rolling it down the street colliding with a bus.maxresdefaultThe last survivors of the group – Snyder, Kyle (Chad Lindberg) and Marshall (Ethan Suplee) – discover Dr. Arnold’s refuge, the water treatment plant where the outbreak began. Arnold reveals that he has indeed discovered a cure, based on his tests on animal subjects. As the five flee for a chopper on the roof of the plant, both Kyle and Marshall are attacked, but Arnold’s vaccine saves them. The group escapes the city, and Arnold requests a laboratory to manufacture his cure, expressing optimism that anything is possible.img_4355Rise of the Zombies is actually a good enough movie to watch for any zombie fans. It is nothing extraordinary or exceptional, but still worth a watch.

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REVIEW: ZOMBIE HUNTER

CAST

Danny Trejo (Machete)
Martin Copping (The Dunes)
Claire Niederpruem (Vamp U)
Jason K. Wixon (The Legacy)
Terry Guthrie (Nowhere Safe)

The film opens with a news report on “Natas”, a strange drug which has been reported to induce zombie-like effects in those who consume it. The film then fast forwards in time, to an Earth mostly inhabited by zombies. The Hunter (Martin Copping) drives along a post-apocalyptic wasteland and meets a hostile “Death Angel”. The zombie is reduced to purplish goo after Hunter rams his car at it. He proceeds to stop at a deserted filling station to fill his car’s empty gas tank. Hunter enters the station’s convenience store to check out any available supplies, but is ambushed by invading zombies. He eliminates them all after a gory battle and downs his sorrows by gulping a bottle of tequila. It is revealed that Hunter’s daughter and wife have both died. Resuming his journey, Hunter unknowingly ventures into the turf of the survivors, who have not been infected by Natas. Thinking Hunter is a zombie, an unknown assailant takes a shot at him. Hunter survives nevertheless and is greeted by survivor Fast Lane Debbie (Jade Regier) upon regaining consciousness.A flirty Debbie attempts to make out with Hunter but fellow survivor Alison (Clare Niederpruem) awkwardly walks into the room to hand him a can of cola, before coercing an annoyed Debbie to leave Hunter alone. Outside, Debbie accuses Alison of being a slut. The latter woman throws back the same insult and they start to quarrel. The audience is then introduced to Father Jesús (Danny Trejo), a pastor-like zombie slayer and leader of the survivor’s colony. As the survivors assemble in a small room to have a meal together, a groggy Hunter joins the crowd and gets to formally know the other survivors. Alison and Hunter start to get romantically passionate with each other. All is well until a wave of normal zombies and a monstrously large zombie somehow make their way into the survivor’s camp. The survivors are able to fend off the normal zombies but the gigantic zombie is seemingly unstoppable to the point that even bullets do not faze it.Jesús rushes in to save them and is able to mutilate the hulking zombie with his axe by slicing off its arm. However, Jesús is unable to defeat him wholly and as a result, the zombie slices off his head. The remaining survivors scramble into a car and drive off to an airport in hopes of being able to find a working aeroplane to fly off with.The zombies, unshakable, still manage to track them down. Consequently, all of the survivors, except for Alison, Hunter, and Alison’s brother Ricky (Jason K. Wixom), are killed. Mustering their courage, they confront the zombies and begin shooting them. At last, only the giant zombie is left. Having run out of bullets, Hunter is impaled by the sharp-clawed zombie. Nonetheless, he miraculously finds the energy to detonate a grenade, wiping out the creature and destroying the rundown airport. Just as the bomb explodes, Alison and Ricky climb into a truck and drive off to safety. Alison vows to always remember Hunter and his courageous deed, echoing that he had finally found what he yearned for — peace. In the aftermath of the explosion, Hunter is shown to be still alive. He explains that he feels cursed as the zombies never seem to be able to kill him and decides to take his own life before the credits roll.If you enjoy the classic “B” Horror Flicks and the cheesy actors and lines then this movie is a Hoot. I personally loved the movie.

REVIEW: MARKED FOR DEATH

CAST

Steven Seagal (Under Siege)
Joanna Pacula (Tombstone)
Basil Wallace (Blood Diamond)
Tom Wright (Barbershop)
Keith Dsavid (Pitch Black)
Elizabeth Gracen (Highlander: The Raven)
Bette Ford (Sudden Impact)
Danielle Harris (Halloween)
Kevin Dunn (Transformers)
Danny Trejo (Machete)
Earl Boen (The Terminator)

Chicago DEA agent John Hatcher returns from Colombia, where drug dealers killed his partner Chico. As a result of Chico’s death and years of dead end work, John retires and heads to his family’s home in suburban Chicago. He visits the local school to meet his old friend and former U.S. Army buddy Max (Keith David) who works there as a football coach and physical education teacher.As John and Max celebrate their reunion, a gunfight breaks out between local drug dealers and a Jamaican gang at the bar where they celebrate. The gang, known as the Jamaican Posse, is led by a notorious psychotic drug kingpin named Screwface (Basil Wallace) full of West African Vodun and sadism. John arrests one of Screwface’s henchmen as the gunfight ends. News that Posse crimes occurring in Chicago and across the United States spread as the Posse increases their crime and members. The next day, Screwface and his henchmen do a drive-by shooting on the house where John, his sister Melissa, and Melissa’s 12-year-old daughter Tracey live. Tracey is injured and hospitalized in critical condition.John encounters a gangster named Jimmy whom he is forced to kill. A Jamaican gangster named Nesta arrives and is subdued by John, who asks about Screwface. Nesta gives information but tells him to go after Screwface alone and jumps out the window to his death. The next day, John discovers a strange symbol engraved on a carpet, and with the help of Jamaican voodoo and gang expert Leslie, a detective for the Chicago Police Department, he learns that it is an African blood symbol used to mark their crimes. John decides to come out of retirement to join Max in a battle against Screwface. At the same night of their rendezvous, John gets a phone call from Melissa, which is cut short when Screwface and his men invade the Hatcher household, but they leave upon his arrival. The next day, John and Max encounter another batch of Screwface’s henchmen which results in a car chase wherein one of the henchmen is killed. The henchmen’s car crashes into a mall wherein they are subsequently killed by the duo amidst the chaos of shoppers fleeing the scene. During a meeting with Leslie, John realizes that the only way to stop the Jamaican Posse is to bring down Screwface. That evening, Screwface ambushes John under the guise of a construction crew; John escapes and survives after Screwface plants a molotov cocktail in his car.The two team up with Charles, a Jamaican-American detective of the Chicago police, who has been trailing Screwface for five years, and trying to get to the root of the drug problem in the city. They acquire weaponry from a local weapons dealer, and, after testing the arsenal, they head for Kingston, Jamaica to find Screwface. Upon arrival, Max and Charles ask people in the streets information about Screwface’s and his hideout. A Jamaican local presents them a photo of a woman who is acquainted with Screwface. John meets her in a nightclub, and she describes hanging out with Screwface, his drug business, and his hideout. The woman also informs John of a cryptic clue: the secret of Screwface’s power is that he has two heads and four eyes.By nightfall, John, Max, and Charles (disguised as members of the Posse) head for Screwface’s mansion, where there is a party in progress. Secretly infiltrating the premises through a nearby plantation, John assassinates three henchmen on the balcony with a silenced sniper, plants a bomb at a nearby power station and infiltrates the inner grounds by climbing across roofs. While Max and Charles keep a lookout, John detonates the bomb, causing the party to erupt in violence and gunfire. With Max and Charles opening fire on the ambushing Posse gang, John enters the building and disposes of many henchmen. He finds a sacrificial area but is captured by Screwface and his remaining henchmen. John manages to break free and kills every henchman before decapitating Screwface in a sword fight. Upon returning in Chicago, the trio displays Screwface’s severed head to the Jamaican Posse to get them to end their crimes and leave. However, Screwface’s identical twin brother, who runs the Chicago Posse crime business, arrives and kills Charles, causing the gang (as well as the audience) to think that Screwface has returned from the dead. At this point, it is revealed that the twin brother was the real mastermind of all Posse crimes in Chicago and the entire United States while the real Screwface supplies him with drugs and money. The meeting erupts in chaos, and the gang members open fire on the duo.During the gunfight, Max holds off the henchmen despite being shot in the leg while John kills more gang members before he engages Screwface’s twin brother in a sword fight. The fight moves to a nightclub owned by the twin himself wherein Hatcher gives him more fatal injuries by gouging his eyes and breaks his spine before dropping him down an elevator shaft, impaling the twin in the process. As the surviving Posse members look at their dead boss, their fate remains ambiguous although the death of the Screwface brothers implies their arrest by law enforcement. The final scene shows John carrying Charles’ body with Max limping next to him before ending with Jimmy Cliff’s song “John Crow” being played in the credits.Of Stevens Seagal’s movies, this is clearly one of the better. It’s from 1990, and that was around his prime time as a action star. (“Under Siege” came two years later). There are a couple of really cool fights in this movie where Seagal handles lots of bad guys without any effort at all. The last part of the movie, where he’s invading the Jamaica-man bad guy’s base is especially entertaining.Watch the movie to find out what I’m talking about. You won’t regret it if you like easy action.

REVIEW: THE RIDICULOUS 6

CAST

Adam Sandler (Jack & Jill)
Terry Crews (White Chicks)
Jorge Garcia (Lost)
Taylor Lautner (Twilight)
Rob Schneider (The Hot Chick)
Luke Wilson (That 70s Show)
Nick Nolte (Hulk)
Will Forte (MacGruber)
Nick Swardson (Grown Ups 2)
Steve Zahn (War For The Planet of The Apes)
Julia Jones (Jonah Hex)
Lavell Crawford (Breaking Bad)
Danny Trejo (machete)
Harvey Keitel (Little Nicky)
Steve Buscemi (Boardwalk Empire)
David Spade (8 Simple Rules)
Whitney Cummings (Made of Honor)
Jon Lovitz (Rate race)
Saginaw Grant (Grey owl)
Norm Macdonald (Dr. Dolittle)
Chris Parnell (Paper Man)
Blake Shelton (Pitch Perfect 2)
John Turturro (Transformers)
Chris Kattan (Undercover Brother)

In the Old West era, a calm man named Tommy Stockburn (Sandler) is raised by Native Americans, where he is named “White Knife”, due to his expertise with knives. He is due to marry a Native girl named Smoking Fox (Jones). He has a run-in with a gang of bandits with eye patches on their right eyes, led by Will Patch (Forte), and manages to outsmart them and a deranged, Native American-racist food proprietor named Clem (Zahn), whose left eye is badly dysfunctional. At his Native village a bank robber named Frank Stockburn (Nolte) comes by, claiming to be Tommy’s biological father. Tommy explains to Frank that his mother was shot by a silhouetted man with tattoos on his hand when she was escorting him to school during his childhood, something that has haunted his dreams since. Frank also tells Tommy that he is dying of consumption, but that he has amassed $50,000 and buried it in a meadow next to a pine tree, which he offers to Tommy and the Natives. The next day, a group of bandits with connections to Frank come to the village, led by the ruthless Cicero (Trejo) who want Frank to give them his “big score” he gained a while back. Frank has the bandits kidnap him so he can lead them to the $50,000 at the so-called “Singing Windmill”, in return for the bandits not attacking Tommy or the Indians. With no time to search the meadow and find the money, Tommy decides he must find another way to obtain it and save his father.Tommy sets out on his quest to regain his father and decides that the best way to gain enough money is by stealing it. However, because his tribe does not condone theft and claims it is dishonorable, Tommy instead opts to steal from those who have no honor, leading him to target corrupt politicians, racist bankers, and thugs alike. During his quest, Tommy discovers that he has 5 half-brothers; Mexican burro rider Ramon (Schneider), whose innkeeper mother Frank had a fling with; mentally challenged yet happy-go-lucky Lil’ Pete (Lautner), who has a strong neck that makes him immune to hanging; feral mountain-man Herm (Garcia), who speaks incomprehensibly; guilt-ridden drunkard Danny (Wilson), who served as a bodyguard for Abraham Lincoln until accidentally leading John Wilkes Booth to murder him; and African-American saloon pianist Chico (Crews), who confesses to be only 50 percent white; all of which join Tommy. Meanwhile, Clem joins the eye patch gang in hopes of finding Tommy to take revenge on him after Clem removes his only functional eye (since the other eye patch wearers claim that removing the right eye is part of the gang’s way) before they kidnap Tommy’s fiancee, though she manages to escape them due to Clem’s poor eyesight and heads out to find Frank. When meeting Chico and Danny, they run with Chico’s boss: the aggressive, always smiling saloon owner Smiley Harris (Keitel), who was part of Frank’s gang until Frank stole his cut of their biggest score and left him to die at the windmill. He owns a large golden nugget the brothers steal after Ramon, while riding his burro, accidentally decapitates Smiley with a shovel from behind just as he is about to shoot the brothers as revenge against Frank for his betrayal, though Ramon was only trying to knock him out. While relaxing in a pond, Clem and the eye patch gang show up and while the brothers manage to overpower them, the gang manage to steal the money the brothers stole. Hope isn’t lost for the brothers, as Herm (through Tommy’s translation) tells them that a gambler named Ezekiel Grant (Lovitz) is hosting a gambling game with Mark Twain (Vanilla Ice) and General George Armstrong Custer (Spade) in Yuma. After successfully robbing the poker game, they head out to ransom their father. 1280x720-TUtAs dusk falls, Tommy realizes (through a photograph carried by Danny) that it was Cicero who murdered his mother. Not wanting to put his brothers in harm’s way, Tommy sets out alone in the cover of night to rescue his father and confront his mother’s killer. After paying the ransom, Cicero decides to part ways but Tommy insists on getting his revenge. Having successfully killed Cicero, the half-brothers (who followed Tommy) have a reunion with their long lost father. Realizing that Tommy’s group now have $100,000 after rescuing the Left-Eye Gang and getting their original $50,000, Frank double crosses them, revealing that he was in cahoots with Cicero for an easy $50,000. Tommy then reveals that their group also has a Plan B: a hidden bomb inside the bag containing the ransom money. When the bomb explodes and commotion ensues, Frank runs off with Smoking Fox (whom his group has been holding hostage) inside a mine. Tommy runs after them and successfully rescues his bride-to-be and captures his father. Also, in the process of the fighting, the Left-Eye Gang accidentally reveal that they lied about removing their right eyes, much to Clem’s outrage. Back in the Native Village, Tommy weds Smoking Fox with his brothers in attendance. Since the revelation that their biological father Frank Stockburn was no more than a two-bit crook, the Native chief decides to adopt the half-brothers as he did with Tommy.ililuiluiluiluilThis movie is just stupid fun. It isn’t trying to be the great American Western, and it doesn’t take itself seriously. The cameos are great, and the acting is superb. Just suspend disbelief, and enjoy the journey.

REVIEW: SHERRYBABY

 

CAST

Maggie Gyllenhaal (Secretary)
Brad William Henke (Split)
Sam Bottoms (Return To Eden)
Kate Burton (Swimfan)
Giancarlo Esposito (last Holiday)
Danny Trejo (Machete)
Michelle Hurst (Orange Is The New Black)
Ryan Simpkin (The House)

Sherry Swanson, a young woman who has recently been released from prison and is recovering from a heroin addiction, is trying to rebuild her life on the outside. Above all, she wants to repair her relationship with her young daughter, but finds the challenges more daunting than she had expected. Her daughter barely recognizes her and no longer calls her “mommy”, the halfway house where she lives has a curfew that interferes with her ability to visit her family, and her relationship with her family has become tense and strained.In between trips to visit her daughter and her job at a youth center, Sherry attends Alcoholics Anonymous meetings in an effort to beat back her addiction to heroin. She strikes up a relationship with Dean, a fellow addict she meets at Alcoholics Anonymous. The stresses of her damaged relationships with her family, satisfying her parole officer, and finding a way to reconnect with her daughter soon prove overwhelming. Sherry soon starts drinking and using drugs again, putting her parole at risk. Struggling to maintain a grip on her life, Sherry finally breaks down and admits to her brother that she knows she needs help.This film may be hard to take, but it is truthful to the core. This is exactly what a low-budget indie film should offer. Nothing glitzy or glamorous, sometimes a bit uneven, but always compelling and worthy.

 

REVIEW: MUPPETS MOST WANTED

CAST

Ricky Gervais (Ghost Town)
Ty Burrell (Modern Family)
Tina Fey (30 Rock)
Steve Whitmore (The Dark Crystal)
Eric Jacobson (Sesame
Dave Goetz (Inside Out)
Bill Barretta (When Families Grieve)
Matt Vogel (Alice Through The Looking Glass)
Tony Bennett Analyze This)
Hugh Bonneville (Paddington)
Jemaine Clement (Legion)
Sean Combs (Get Him To The Greek)
Rob Corddry (Warm Bodies)
Mackenzie Crook (One Chance)
Celine Dion (The Magic Sword)
Lady Gaga (Sin City 2)
Zach Gilifianakis (The Hangover)
Josh Grodin (The Hollars)
Salma Hayek (Dogma)
Tom Hiddleston (thor)
Tom Hollander (Mission Impossible 5)
Toby Jones (Atomic Blonde)
Frank Langella (Superman Returns)
Ray Liotta (Hannibal)
James McAvoy (X-Men: First Class)
Chloe Grace Moretz (Kick-Ass)
Usher Raymond (She’s All That)
Miranda Richardson (Sleepy Hollow)
Saoirse Ronan (The Lvoely Bones)
Russell Tovey (Being Human)
Danny Trejo (Machete)
Stanley Tucci (The Hunger Games)
Christoph Waltz (Big Eyes)

Following the events of the previous film, The Muppets find themselves at a loss as to what to do until Dominic Badguy suggests the Muppets go on a European tour with him as their tour manager. As the Muppets begin their tour, a criminal mastermind named Constantine, a near-exact double for Kermit the Frog in appearance, escapes from a Siberian Gulag and joins his subordinate Dominic to begin a plot to steal the Crown Jewels of the United Kingdom.Once the Muppets arrive in Berlin, Germany, Dominic secures them a show at a prestigious venue. Frustrated with the group’s incessant requests and Miss Piggy’s insistence they marry, Kermit goes for a walk at Dominic’s suggestion. Constantine ambushes him and glues a fake mole onto his cheek then slips away. Mistaken for Constantine, Kermit is arrested and sent to the Gulag. Taking Kermit’s place, Constantine’s blunders in imitating him are covered by Dominic; however, Animal knows the truth. After the Berlin performance opens with Constantine freezing at the audience, Scooter has to introduce the show. Constantine and Dominic steal paintings from a museum while the Muppets perform. The next morning, Interpol agent Jean Pierre Napoleon and CIA agent Sam the Eagle grudgingly team up to apprehend the culprit whom Napoleon believes to be his nemesis “The Lemur” – the number-two criminal in the world.Meanwhile, Kermit has attempted several times to escape the Gulag but is thwarted each time by prison guard Nadya, who is not only aware of his true identity but is as infatuated with him as Miss Piggy is. Nadya orders Kermit to help organize the prisoners’ annual talent show.Following hidden instructions on the stolen painting, Constantine and Dominic divert the tour to Madrid, Spain. Constantine allows the Muppets to perform whatever they wish, much to Walter’s confusion. During this show, Constantine and Dominic break into a museum and destroy a roomful of busts to find a key needed for their plan. Even though the performance is a disaster, the Muppets receive critical acclaim. Sam and Napoleon deduce that the connection between the crimes is the Muppet tour, and the pair interrogates the Muppets, only to find that they are too ill-equipped to be guilty. The instructions on the stolen key lead Constantine and Dominic to schedule the next show in Dublin, Ireland.In Dublin, Walter discovers that Dominic has been giving away show tickets and bribing critics to ensure a packed house and rave reviews, while Fozzie Bear notices Kermit’s resemblance to Constantine. They both realize that Constantine has taken Kermit’s place and brought in Dominic as his accomplice. Constantine attacks Walter and Fozzie, but Animal fends him off and the three escape from the train to rescue Kermit. During the Dublin performance, Dominic steals a locket from a museum and Constantine proposes to Miss Piggy onstage; Piggy accepts, and the pair plan a ceremony to be held at the Tower of London in London, England, where the Crown Jewels are kept.Fozzie, Walter, and Animal reach the Siberian Gulag on the night of the performance, and Kermit uses it as a front to allow them, himself, and all the prisoners to escape the Gulag. Kermit, Fozzie, Walter, and Animal infiltrate the Tower as the wedding begins, and Dominic (with the help of Bobby Benson’s Baby Band) manages to steal the jewels.Kermit interrupts the ceremony, revealing Constantine’s ruse, but the crook takes Piggy hostage and flees to a helicopter, where he is intercepted by Dominic, who is actually the Lemur and intends to double-cross him. Constantine ejects him from the helicopter and tries to take off with Piggy, but Kermit jumps aboard and the rest of the Muppets climb atop each other to stop the escape. Kermit and Piggy knockout Constantine and both criminals are arrested. Nadya arrives in London to arrest Kermit for escaping. The other Muppets tell her that if she arrests him, then she will have to take all of them as well; she relents, allowing Kermit to go free. The Muppets perform at the Gulag with Constantine and the prisoners participating, ending the film.The heart and soul of the film is about the way the characters manage to bring a sense of togetherness and unity to the Muppets and how this unity brings joy to all those around. Throughout the film, Kermit manages to be a core reminder as to why The Muppets are generously wonderful creations for the world: the optimism, the kindness, the laughter: everything combines to form a strong impression that both children and adults can feel completely enamoured by. This is a film that is full of magic and it sits alongside The Muppets magnificently and is not to be missed.

REVIEW: MACHETE KILLS

CAST

Danny Trejo (Bullet)
Michelle Rodriguez (Resident Evil)
Mel Gibson (Mad Max)
Sofia Vergara (The Smurfs)
Amber Heard (Aquaman)
Demián Bichir (Solo)
Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men)
Walton Goggins (American Ultra)
Cuba Gooding Jr.(Jerry Maguire)
Lady Gaga (Sin City 2)
Antonio Banderas (The Mask of Zorro)
Jessica Alba (Dark Angel)
Vanessa Hudgens (Powerless)
Alexa Vega (Spy Kids)
William Sadler (Iron Man 3)
Electra and Elise Avellan (Death Proof)

Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) and Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) attempt to capture weapon dealers who have been supplying the Mexican drug cartels. The military men are then all killed by the gangsters, who in turn are wiped out by another intervening party. Its leader murders Sartana while Machete is arrested by corrupt Sheriff Doakes (William Sadler) and Deputy Clebourne (Samuel Davis). Doakes unsuccessfully tries to hang Machete but the President of the US, Rathcock (Charlie Sheen), intervenes. Machete is brought to the White House, where the president offers him US citizenship if he eliminates Marcos Mendez (Demián Bichir), a psychopath who is threatening to fire a nuclear missile at Washington, D.C. if the American government does not intervene to stop the rampant drug cartels in Mexico and the corruption of its government.Machete agrees and travels to San Antonio, where he meets his handler Blanca Vasquez (Amber Heard), an undercover beauty pageant competitor. She sends him to Acapulco to meet a young woman, Cereza (Vanessa Hudgens), who can lead him to Mendez. Machete finds her in a brothel run by her mother, Madame Desdemona (Sofía Vergara), who attempts to kill Machete before he escapes with Cereza. She takes him to Mendez’s associate, Zaror (Marko Zaror), who kills Cereza before taking Machete to Mendez’s base of operations.There, Machete learns that Mendez has wired the missile’s launch device to his heart and triggered its launch in 24 hours. If he dies, the missile fires. After killing Zaror he captures Mendez, intending to escort him to US and find a way to disarm the missile. Machete learns that Mendez is an ex-secret agent who tried to expose his corrupt superiors, only to be betrayed and forced to watch his family being tortured. The trauma drove him insane, creating his split personalities and leading him to join forces with the missile’s creator.Shortly thereafter, a hit is put out on them. Machete is targeted by Madame Desdemona and her prostitute assassins, including a shapeshifting hitman called El Camaleón (Lady Gaga), as well as Doakes. Machete and Mendez manage to reach the US and kill Doakes and Clebourne only to be caught by a reborn Zaror and the same mercenaries who killed Sartana. Zaror decapitates Mendez and Machete is riddled with bullets.Machete wakes up to find himself in a healing tank. He is taken to meet Zaror’s benefactor—corrupt businessman, inventor and Star Wars fan Luther Voz (Mel Gibson). He shows Machete Mendez’s beating heart, preserved in a jar, and informs him of his plan to manipulate extremists throughout the world to detonate nuclear weapons while planning to escape in a spaceship to rebuild society in space. Machete then escapes with help from Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who had heard about the hit on Machete. She informs him that the only one who can disarm Mendez’s heart is Machete’s old enemy, Osiris Amanpour (Tom Savini). Machete contacts Vasquez, who instructs him to meet her at a rendezvous point.Arriving there, Machete is betrayed and ambushed by Vasquez, who is in league with Voz. As she is escaping into the desert, Machete gives chase and jumps onto the top of her vehicle but falls off after gunfire comes through the roof. Machete is then given a ride by El Camaleón, who tries to kill him one last time. But he escapes and El Camaleón ends up being shot to death by a group of racist rednecks just inside the US border. Machete then reunites with Luz and her group, the Network. They infiltrate a fundraiser at Voz’s base of operations, where Voz kills Osiris. Machete realizes Voz was the one who killed Sartana and fights him. He severely burns Voz’s face, disfiguring him to the extent that Voz is forced to wear a metallic, silver mask. Meanwhile, Vasquez shoots Luz in her good eye, completely blinding her. Luz kills Vasquez in return but is captured by Voz, frozen in Carbonite and taken aboard his ship.Machete jumps on the missile as it launches and disarms it in mid-air, while Voz boards the ship and departs with the Zaror clones, his supporters, as well as Luz. The disarmed missile then plunges into the Rio Grande and Machete is rescued by President Rathcock, who asks him to follow Voz into space and kill him. Machete agrees and uses a SpaceX Falcon 9 v1.0 rocket to depart to Voz’s Station in Earth’s orbit, where he is given a laser machete to start his mission.If you saw the first one, you pretty much know what to expect and what the basic concept is. Just times that times ten and you have Machete Kills. It is just a movie where you sit and don’t think about it. Let it all happen and enjoy it. That is, of course, you like action movies where the hero chops every bad guy up and Sofia Vergara with her bra machine gun.