REVIEW: SHARK NIGHT 3D

CAST

Sara Paxton (Superhero Movie)
Dustin Milligan (The Butterfly Effect 2)
Chris Carmack (Into The Blue 2)
Katharine McPhee (The Hosue Bunny)
Chris Zylka (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Joel David Moore (Bones)
Sinqua Walls (Teen Wolf)
Alyssa Diaz (Red Dawn)
Joshua Leonard (Bates Motel)
Donal Logue (Gotham)

Seven Tulane University undergraduates – Sara, Nick, Beth, Malik, Maya, Blake and Gordon – drive to Sara’s family vacation home on a private lake. There, Sara encounters her old boyfriend, Dennis, and his friend Red. Nick, Blake, Malik and Maya go wake-boarding when a shark attacks Malik. He is able to swim back to shore – missing his right arm. When Nick swims into the lake to retrieve Malik’s arm, he is pursued by the shark, barely making it to shore. Being a pre-med student, he stabilizes Malik, and they all take him to the hospital. Blood from Malik’s wound attracts a shark that attacks the boat. Maya (Malik’s girlfriend who he was about to propose to) is knocked into the water and eaten. The shark damages the steering column of the boat, causing it to crash in front of the boathouse. Sara, Nick and Malik make it to shore.Dennis and Red arrive and agree to take Beth and Gordon to the mainland. During the boat trip, Dennis reveals that he and Red put the sharks in the lake and feed college students to them. Dennis forces Gordon into the water by shooting him; he swims to a mangrove tree but is devoured by a bull shark. Red and Dennis force Beth to strip down and feed her to cookiecutter sharks. Malik arms himself with a harpoon and ventures into the water to kill the shark that killed Maya. His wound attracts a hammerhead shark; he kills it but is further wounded. Nick and Blake pull the shark to shore, and Nick finds a camera attached to its belly. Blake decides to take Malik to the mainland on a jet ski. When they are pursued by sharks, Malik sacrifices himself and later Blake is killed by a great white shark.Sheriff Sabin visits Sara and Nick and gives them soup, which makes Nick and Sara’s dog, who has also eaten the soup, pass out. Sara hears Dennis and Red speaking from Sabin’s radio, describing Beth’s death. Dennis and Red then appear and take Sara to their boat, while Sabin prepares to dunk Nick into the lake, where sand tiger sharks wait. Sabin reveals that he, Dennis and Red have been inspired by the Discovery Channel’s Shark Week and Faces of Death videos to film people being eaten by sharks. Nick is able to break free and ignite a can of gas. Badly burned, Sabin plunges into the lake and is eaten by a sand shark.Dennis reveals the reason why he is bitter at Sara: three years ago, while they were dating Sara had to go off to college and she and Dennis had a farewell swim at their favorite diving spot. The day is ruined when Sara almost drowns and Dennis, who is angry with her for having to leave him, refuses to help her. As revenge she runs him over with a jet ski, damaging half his face. Red throws her dog into the water and soon after Dennis calls up Carl, the man from the bait shop, telling him to release another great white shark, Dennis and Red lower her into the lake in a shark cage. As Dennis is about to release her, Nick arrives and takes Red hostage. After a scuffle during which Dennis kills Red in order to catch Nick offguard, Nick shoves Dennis into the water and tries to set Sara free but Dennis appears and tries strangling him. Nick escapes as a great white shark devours Dennis. Nick kills the shark and frees Sara. Nick, Sara, and Sara’s dog swim to the boat, having survived. A distance away, another great white shark breaches, signifying that sharks remain in the lake.If you like your B-movies and don’t take things too seriously, you’ll enjoy this.

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31 DAYS OF HORROR REVIEW: THE SECRET CIRCLE – MASKED

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CAST

Britt Robertson (Tomorrowland)
Thomas Dekker (Terminator: TSCC)
Phoebe Tonkin (The Originals)
Shelley Hennig (Unfriended)
Jessica Parker Kennedy (50/50)
Gale Harold (Fertile Ground)
Ashley Crow (Heroes)
Chris Zylka (The Amazing Spider-Man
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GUEST CAST

Adam Harrington (Dexter)
Tom Butler (Blade: THe Series)
Zachary Abel (Night Club)
Hiro Kanagawa (Heroes Reborn)
JR Bourne (Stargate SG.1)
Richard Harmon (Caprica)

Image result for THE SECRET CIRCLE maskedAs Grandma Jane plans to head up to Henry’s cabin for the weekend, Faye convinces Cassie to throw a big Halloween party for the Circle. The pair rummage through an antiques store looking for decoration ideas, but odd things happen when Cassie pays the owner of the store. Jane confirms that Calvin is a witch, and she says there were more magical families in Chance Harbor before the fire. Meanwhile, Melissa is still mourning at Nick’s grave, and she and Jake exchange heated words.
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Back at the house, Cassie discovers a piece of the dagger that Simone used to try to kill her. She wonders if Calvin will know anything about the strange symbols on the blade, so she plans on going back to the shop. Jake magically sabotages her car and then pays a visit to Calvin himself. He warns the shopkeeper off from telling Cassie the truth and then concocts a potion which will permanently kill a witch. All he needs to do is set the potion alight, and Calvin will be dead. Once Cassie gets to the shop, Calvin doesn’t tell her a thing. Cassie spots another weapon in the shop with similar markings so she takes a pic of it.
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Later she, Adam, and Faye research the symbols online, and discover that they belong to an organization of witch-hunters. Jake is seen making the same killing potion for everyone in the Circle. He will have some help kidnapping the witches at the party. One of his fellow hunter is Luke.
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Jake and Cassie talk, and Cassie expresses her concern about the witch-hunter symbols she saw on the blade. Jake shows more knowledge of those symbols than he should. Cassie grows a bit suspicious of him. Meanwhile, Adam and Diana are still pining for each other, and Adam is angry at his dad for encouraging the break-up. Ethan shrugs it off, saying you can’t fight destiny.  At the party, Faye and Jake flirt, but members of the Circle are being picked off one by one. Melissa is taken away first. Cassie slips away from the party for a moment to head next door to rummage through Jake’s family’s house. She finds a witch-hunter knife in Jake’s things. Jake arrives and says that the knife was Nick’s. Calvin and Ethan talk about Cassie’s father, and whether she should know the whole truth about her dad. Calvin has a change of heart and contacts Cassie to warn her about the witch hunt and about Cassie’s special abilities. Before he can say too much, however, Jake sets fire to Calvin’s potion and kills him.
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At the party, Adam is still trying to get Diana back but she’s still refusing to say yes. Diana goes off alone and is taken by the witch-hunters. Cassie is finally taken, by Luke. The Circle are all gathered together, and Jake arrives to tell the other hunters that Cassie’s powers are special and she won’t be killed by normal means. The hunters ignore his warning, which is a big mistake, as Cassie sets Luke on fire. Jake cuts his arm open and pretends that he was one of the hunted as well. Jake tries to distract Cassie from the night’s events by visiting her. However, Cassie sees that someone has mailed a scroll to her. Calvin’s last act was to help Cassie. Meanwhile, Jane arrives at Henry’s cabin, and finds him dead. She searches his home for his crystal in the hopes of reviving him, but then someone knocks her unconscious – it’s Charles, who stole the Crystal.Image result for THE SECRET CIRCLE masked

Overall, The Secret Circle comes off as a fun teen-angst program that successfully utilizes its inherent appeal to the core demographic, without alienating anyone else that might be casually tuning in. It was a huge hit but then the CW decided to cancel it, and didn’t even release a DVD of it.

31 DAYS OF HORROR REVIEW: PIRANHA 3DD

CAST

Danielle Panabaker (The Flash)
Matt Bush (Adventureland)
Katrina Bowden (30 Rock)
David Koechner (Anchorman)
Chris Zylka (The Secret Circle)
Gary Busey (Predator 2)
Christopher Lloyd (Back To The Future)
Ving Rhames (Mission Impossible)
Adrian Martinez (A Perfect Murder)
Paul Scheer (Year One)
Clu Gulager (The Tall Man)
Jean-Luc Bilodeau (LOL)
Megan Tandy (Teen Wolf)
Eli Roth (Inglourious Basterds)
David Hasselhoff (Nick Fury: Agent of S.H.I.E.L.D.)

A year after the massacre on Lake Victoria by prehistoric piranhas, an eradication campaign has left the lake uninhabitable, and the town itself has been largely abandoned as a result of the drying-up of the lake. Meanwhile, at Cross Lake, two farmers (Gary Busey and Clu Gulager) search the waters to recover the body of a dead cow. Piranha eggs that have been laid inside the cow hatch, and the farmers are killed by the swarm, but before they both die, one farmer pops out of the water, bites the head off one of the piranhas and spits it into the air before sinking back into the water.

Maddy (Danielle Panabaker), a marine biology student, returns home for the summer to the waterpark she co-owns. She finds to her horror that the other co-owner, her step-father Chet (David Koechner), plans to add an adult-themed section to the waterpark with “water-certified strippers”, and re-open it as “Big Wet”. At a party at the waterpark that night, Maddy encounters several old acquaintances, including her policeman ex-boyfriend Kyle (Chris Zylka) and Barry (Matt Bush), who has secretly had a crush on her since grade school. She also runs into two of her close friends, Ashley (Meagan Tandy) and Shelby (Katrina Bowden). Shelby and her boyfriend Josh (Jean-Luc Bilodeau) go skinny-dipping in the lake, where a piranha makes its way inside her vagina. Meanwhile, Ashley and her boyfriend Travis begin to have sex in their van, but Ashley accidentally trips the handbrake with her foot, causing the van to roll into the lake. Travis, handcuffed to the van during foreplay and unable to escape, is devoured while Ashley, on the roof of the van, calls for help. With no one around to hear her cries, the van sinks into the lake and she is eaten alive by the killer fish.

The next day, Maddy is consoling Shelby about their missing friends. While sitting on a jetty, they are both attacked by a swarm of piranhas. They manage to kill one, and Maddy, Kyle and Barry take it to marine expert Carl Goodman (Christopher Lloyd) to examine. He informs them that the piranhas may be moving via sewage pipes and underground rivers between lakes, attracted by chemicals involved in swimming pool cleansers that match their spawning routes. However, the wider world wouldn’t listen to his theory that the fish could evolve to become terrain-viable. The trio return to the lake, where they establish that the piranhas cannot make their way into the outflow pipes connecting the lake and the waterpark. While Shelby and Josh are having sex, the piranha in Shelby’s vagina bites Josh’s penis, forcing him to chop the organ off with a knife. Both are hospitalized, but survive. Kyle is revealed to be corrupt and taking bribes from Chet, who is secretly pumping water from an underground river into the waterpark, lowering his costs and boosting his profits. Chet orders Kyle to keep Maddy from finding out about his nefarious plans.

“Big Wet” opens the next day. Among the first guests are Deputy Fallon (Ving Rhames), who survived his previous ordeal with the piranhas but lost his legs, and former cameraman Andrew Cunningham (Paul Scheer). While the duo attempts to overcome their fear of the water after they were attacked a year ago, David Hasselhoff also makes an appearance as a celebrity lifeguard.

Discovering the connection between the park and the underground river, Maddy attempts to shut the waterpark down, but is stopped by Chet and Kyle. The piranhas make their way to the area and attack, killing many of the lifeguards and waterpark-goers. Fallon attaches a shotgun prosthesis to his legs in order to save the visitors, while Hasselhoff, after rescuing a small boy named David (Matthew Lintz), is pleased that he has finally become a real lifeguard. In the chaos, Chet refuses to help any survivors, including Kiki (Irina Voronina), who is eaten by the fish. He reluctantly offers some cash to a young girl whose mother is dead, but then accidentally reverses over her with his golf cart. As he attempts to drive off to safety, Chet is then decapitated by a hanging cable.

Maddy instructs Barry to begin draining the pools; however, while rescuing people from the water, she becomes caught in the suction and is dragged down to the bottom of the pool. After Kyle refuses to save her because of his fear of piranhas, Barry, despite being unable to swim, leaps down and brings her to the surface, whereupon Maddy is revived. She and Barry then kiss.
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Another employee, Big Dave, pours pure chlorine into the pipes, followed by a lit joint. The resulting explosion kills most of the piranhas, while Kyle is killed by a falling trident. The celebrations are cut short, however, when Maddy takes a phone call from a horrified Mr. Goodman, who informs them that the escaped piranha are evolving and are now able to move on land, to which Maddy replies that she knows. The film ends as the Piranha Queen emerges from the pool and decapitates David (the small child who Hasselhoff saved earlier), leading Hasselhoff to quip “Little ginger moron”, while the surviving visitors pick up their phones and take pictures of the dead child.
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In a post-credits scene, Hasselhoff is running on a beach holding a trident, which is an advertisement for a film titled Fishhunter.Image result for piranha 3ddI found it a gross and funny B-Movie, with stupid but hilarious characters. The director knows the B-movie formula, with teats and beautiful girls. Christopher Lloyd has become stereotyped as the mad scientist in American comedies . The uncredited Ving Rhames afraid of the water and shooting with his leg is comical. But David Hasselhoff steals the movie making fun of himself as the most famous lifeguard of all times. If you shutdown your brain, you will certainly enjoy this movie.

REVIEW: 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU: THE SERIES

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MAIN CAST

Lindsey Shaw (The Howling: Reborn)
Meaghan Martin (Mean Girls 2)
Larry Miller (8 Simple Rules)
Ethan Peck (That 70s Show)
Nicholas Braun (The Watch)
Dana Davis (Heroes)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Kyle Kaplan (Drillbit Taylor)
Suzy Nakamura (Deep Impact)
Chris Zylka (The Secret Circle)
Ally Maki (2 Broke Girls)
Audrey Wasilewski (Pushing Daisies)
Leslie Grossman (What I Like About You)
Leslie-Anne Huff (The Vampire Diaries)
Jolene Purdy (Donnie Darko)
Barret Swatek (Power Rangers Turbo)
Ryan Pinkston (Bad Santa)
Tiffany Hines (Bones)
Mindy Sterling (Austin Powers)

I was positive that I would be in for bad acting and a horrible script (The Secret Life of the American Teenager, anyone?). However, upon watching the first few episodes I found that the only problem with this show is that is it way too short for me to get my fill. The show’s storyline is split between that of Bianca and Kat, two completely opposite people. Kat’s story consists of her efforts to make men value her more despite their sexist views, and of short, but charming, interactions between her and the school bad boy. Bianca’s consists of her quest for popularity and her obliviousness admirer, Cameron.  Both story lines can be amusing, but I doubt that anyone really watches for both. Either they’re a fan of Kat and Patrick, or they are rooting for Bianca to replace Chastity as a head cheerleader and steal her football-playing boyfriend . In the movie, the two story lines were linked together in some way, but in the show they only intertwine when Kat and Bianca argue at the dinner table, which is where the separation of fans comes from.Though Meaghan Martin plays a funny, bubbly teen very well, Dana Davis plays the bitchy popular girl so convincingly, and Nick Braun plays the awkward, dorky, and  secret admirer as if that is who he has been his entire life anyhow,  they really deserve accolades. Larry Miller plays the part of a psychotic father in such a charming and funny way that I can’t help but adore every scene he is in. There is definitely a reason he got the part of the father in both the movie and TV show. The strong acting is great since his character is responsible for what little tie the sisters have to one another in the show and creates good family humor.
Lindsey Shaw is so convincing in her character that I can’t imagine any other actress even attempting to play it. She has a natural energy that shines through in her character and she can deliver comical lines like no other. In fact, I probably laugh at her dialogue more than any other character’s simply because of the way it comes out of her mouth. Kat gradually goes through a personal growth throughout the show and the audience can watch as someone so sure of herself fights to stay on track and stick to what she has preached. It’s quite intriguing. Ethan Peck, though soft-spoken and not exactly convincing as the bad boy he is supposed to play, delivers a good, unique version of Patrick Verona. While in the movie the character really seemed as if he could have lived up to the rumors everyone had heard about him, I don’t get that from this version of Patrick. To me, he seems like the misunderstood kid that wants to appear scary only so that people will leave him alone and so that he can be sure anyone that does make an effort to get to know him is worthwhile.Overall, this show is just downright hilarious and the characters are endearing and addictive. The sarcasm alone is funny, but the characters themselves have such strong personalities, each one with their funny little quirks. The best thing is that the characters don’t seem one-dimensional like so many other TV characters are. Sadly it’s another show that lasted just one season but it is one heck of a good season.

REVIEW: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

CAST

Andrew Garfield (The Social Network)
Emma Stone (Birdman)
Rhys Ifans (Alice Through The Looking Glass)
Denis Leary (Rescue Me)
Martin Sheen (Apocalypse Now)
Sally Field (Lincoln)
Irrfan Khan (Jurassic World)
Campbell Scott (Royal Pains)
Embeth Davidtz (Army of Darkness)
Chris Zylka (The Secret Circle)
C. Thomas Howell (E.T.)
Stan Lee (Avengers Assemble)
Jennifer Lyons (That 70s Show)
Michael Massee (Flashforward)
Zoey Deutch (Ringer)

A young Peter Parker discovers his father Richard Parker’s study has been burgled. Peter’s parents gather hidden documents and take Peter to the home of his Aunt May and Uncle Ben, then mysteriously depart.Years later, a teenaged Peter attends Midtown Science High School, where he is bullied by Flash Thompson and has caught the eye of Gwen Stacy. At home, Peter finds his father’s papers and learns his father worked with fellow scientist Dr. Curt Connors at Oscorp. Sneaking into Oscorp, Peter enters a lab where a “biocable” is under development from genetically modified spiders, one of which bites him. He later discovers he has developed spider-like abilities, such as sharp senses, reflexes and speed.After studying Richard’s papers, Peter visits the one-armed Connors, reveals he is Richard’s son and gives Connors his father’s “decay rate algorithm”, the missing piece in Connors’ experiments on regenerating limbs. Connors is being pressed by his superior, Dr. Ratha, to devise a cure for the dying (but unseen) head of Oscorp, Norman Osborn. In school, Peter gets into trouble after a basketball challenge with Flash in which Peter accidentally shatters the backboard glass. His uncle changes work shifts to meet with the principal and asks Peter to walk May home for him that night. Peter forgets to do so, distracted while at Oscorp helping Connors regenerate the limb of a laboratory mouse. At home, he and Ben argue and Peter leaves. At a nearby deli, a cashier refuses to let Peter buy milk when Peter is two cents short; when a thief suddenly raids the store, Peter indifferently observes. While searching for Peter, Ben attempts to stop the thief and is killed. The thief escapes as Peter finds Ben dead on the sidewalk.Afterward, Peter uses his new abilities to hunt criminals matching the killer’s description. After a fall lands him inside an abandoned gym, a luchador-wrestling poster inspires him to create a mask to hide his identity. He adds a spandex suit and builds mechanical devices to attach to his wrists to shoot a biocable “web”. Later, at dinner with Gwen’s family, he has a tense conversation with her father, police captain George Stacy, over the new masked vigilante’s motives. After dinner, Peter reveals his identity to Gwen and they kiss.After seeing success with the mouse using lizard DNA, Ratha demands Connors begin human trials immediately. Connors refuses to rush the drug-testing procedure and put innocent people at risk. Ratha fires Connors and decides to test Connors’ serum at a Veterans Administration hospital under the guise of a flu shot. In an act of desperation, Connors tries the formula on himself. After passing out, he awakens to find his missing arm has regenerated. Discovering that Ratha is on his way to the VA hospital, Connors, whose skin is turning green and scaly, goes to intercept him. By the time he gets to the Williamsburg Bridge, Connors has become a violent hybrid of lizard and man, tossing cars, including Ratha’s, over the side. Peter, now calling himself Spider-Man, snatches each falling car with his web-lines.Spider-Man suspects Connors is the Lizard and unsuccessfully confronts the creature in the sewers. The Lizard learns Spider-Man’s real identity via the name on an abandoned camera and follows Peter to school, where they fight. Police start a manhunt for both Spider-Man and the Lizard. Captain Stacy discovers that Spider-Man is really Peter. The Lizard plans to make all humans lizard-like by releasing a chemical cloud from Oscorp’s tower, to eliminate the weaknesses he believes plague humanity. Spider-Man eventually disperses an antidote cloud instead, restoring Connors and earlier victims to normal, but not before the Lizard mortally wounds Captain Stacy. Before his death, Captain Stacy requests Peter avoid Gwen, in order to keep her safe. Peter initially does so, but later at school suggests to Gwen he may see her after all. In a mid-credits scene, Connors, in a prison cell, speaks with a man in the shadows who asks if Peter knows the truth about his father. Connors replies, “No”, and demands Peter to be left alone before the man disappears.I began watching The Amazing Spider-Man with muted expectations, and without anticipation. I walked out of my experience feeling as though the film was actually good not amazing.I think this franchise was too soon for a reboot.

 

REVIEW: THE SECRET CIRCLE

 

CAST

Britt Robertson (Tomorrowland)
Thomas Dekker (Terminator: TSCC)
Phoebe Tonkin (The originals)
Shelley Hennig (Ouija)
Jessica Parker Kennedy (Smallville)
Louis Hunter (Out of The Blue)
Chris Zylka (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Ashley Crow (Heroes)
Natasha Henstridge (Species)
Gale Harold (Fertile Ground)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Emily Holmes (Dark Angel)
Adam Harrington (Stargate SG.1)
Logan Browning (Powers)
Tom Butler (Blade: The Series)
Zachary Abel (My Alibi)
Ben Cotton (Stargate: Atlantis)
Camille Sullivan (The Birdwatcher)
JR Bourne (Arrow)
Hiro Kanagawa (Izombie)
John de Lancie (Star Trek: TNG)
Joe Lando (Star Trek IV)

Following the death of her mother, Cassie Blake (Britt Robertson) moves to Chance Harbor, Washington, to live with her grandmother. Her attempts to adjust to the new town are crushed when five of her classmates, Adam Conant (Thomas Dekker), Diana Meade (Shelley Hennig), Faye Chamberlain (Phoebe Tonkin), Melissa Glaser (Jessica Parker Kennedy), and Nick Armstrong (Louis Hunter), reveal to Cassie that she comes from a long line of witches and is the final member of their coven; with her they are able to unlock the full extent of their powers.

Initially Cassie refuses to believe that she is a witch, even after Adam helps her to unlock her powers. It is only after she discovers an old leather-bound book of spells left to her by her late mother, Amelia, that Cassie begins to accept her power. Inside the book is a message to Cassie explaining that she kept their real family history and her powers a secret in order to keep her safe; as the circle soon finds out, their powers attract dark and dangerous forces that constantly puts them in harm’s way.

Unfortunately for the would-be coven, Cassie’s presence may have come too late. The group’s bond is already breaking due to a conflict between the well-intentioned Diana and wild-child-in-the-making Faye (Phoebe Tonkin), who, after setting Cassie’s car on fire and summoning up a massive storm.

 

And, as always, teenage hormones add to the overall confusion as Diana’s boyfriend Adam (Thomas Dekker) takes a shine to Cassie – making an ill-advised pass at her while in the midst of making some water droplets float in air.

However, all of this is small potatoes as the The Secret Circle’s real big bads are revealed to be many of the teen witches’ parents – headed up by Diana’s father Charles (Gale Harold) and Faye’s mother/high school principal Dawn Chamberlain (Natasha Henstridge).

Overall, The Secret Circle comes off as a fun teen-angst program that successfully utilizes its inherent appeal to the core demographic, without alienating anyone else that might be casually tuning in. It was a huge hit but then the CW decided to cancel it, and didn’t even release a DVD of it.