REVIEW: MONIKA: A WRONG WAY TO DIE

CAST
Cerina Vincent (Power Rangers Lost Galaxy)
Jason Wiles (Scream: The Series)
Jeff Branson (Supergirl)
Andrew Howard (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)
C. Thomas Howell (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Elisa Donovan (Sabrina: The Teenage Witch)
Lew Temple (Unstoppable)
Shayla Beesley (Reaper)
Tim Thomerson (Dollman)
Suzanne Ford (The Informers)
Chad Lindberg (The Cape)
Scott Menville (Teen Titans)
This 2012 supernatural revenge thriller is a modern day petty gangster movie in which slacker Reagan [Jason Wiles] has visions and premonitions, and goes to Las Vegas where he meets the flirtatious Monika. The following day his friend informs him Monika was murdered before his arrival. What follows is a basic film with a twist as the pair try to aid one another in the screwed up situation they find themselves in.

This is a film you need to listen too in the beginning to get the main theme of Monika being a Revenant –but she’s not referred to as such. This isn’t a classic in the making and some of the acting is hit and miss, but it is humorous and good entertainment. There is strong language throughout and many references to drugs with some sex scenes with nudity, which gives this it’s 15 rating. The single disc offers no real features other than 2.0 or 5.1 audio, play and scene selection.
Untitled
The overall approach is much like ‘Sin City’ or ‘the spirit’ with its 50’s voiceover and opening stylised graphics and its lazy pace, but it’s not meant to be taken too seriously being filled with humorous moments –such as the bad guy practising his accents and speeches. The final half hour was gripping and action packed, turning with a number of  twists to the emotional ending. A must watch for Cerina Vincent fan.

REVIEW: E.T.: THE EXTRA TERRESTRIAL

 

Starring

Drew Barrymore (Santa Clarita Diet)
Dee Wallace (Critters)
Henry Thomas (Doctor Sleep)
Peter Coyote (A Walk To Remember)
Robert MacNaughton (Frankenstein vs. The Mummy)
Pat Welsh (Return of The Jedi)
Anne Lockhart (Battlestar Galactica)
K. C. Martel (THe Amityville Horror)
Sean Frye (Valley Girl)
C. Thomas Howell (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Erika Eleniak (Baywatch)

Henry Thomas in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)A small group of alien botanists secretly visits Earth under cover of night to gather plant specimens in a California forest. When government agents appear on the scene, the aliens flee in their spaceship (or UFO), but in their haste, one of them is left behind. In a suburban neighborhood in the San Fernando Valley, a ten-year-old boy named Elliott is spending time with his brother, Michael, and his friends. As he returns from picking up a pizza, he discovers that something is hiding in their tool shed. The alien promptly flees upon being discovered. Despite his family’s disbelief, Elliott leaves Reese’s Pieces candy to lure it to his house. Before going to sleep, Elliott realizes the alien is imitating his movements. He feigns illness the next morning to stay home from school and play with it. Later that day, Michael and their five-year-old sister, Gertie, meet the alien. They decide to keep it hidden from their mother, Mary. When they ask it about its origin, it levitates several balls to represent its planetary system and then demonstrates its powers by reviving dead chrysanthemums. His signature power is using his glowing fingertip to heal a minor flesh wound saying “Ouch.”Henry Thomas in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)Makeshift communicator used by E.T. to phone home. Among its parts is a Speak & Spell, an umbrella lined with tinfoil, and a coffee can filled with other electronics.
At school the next day, Elliott begins to experience a telepathic connection with the alien, including exhibiting signs of intoxication (because it is at his home, drinking beer and watching television), and he begins freeing all the frogs in his biology class. As the alien watches John Wayne kiss Maureen O’Hara in The Quiet Man on television, Elliott then kisses a girl he likes (played by Erika Eleniak), in the same manner and is sent to the principal’s office.E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)The alien learns to speak English by repeating what Gertie says as she watches Sesame Street and, at Elliott’s urging, dubs itself “E.T.” E.T. reads a comic strip where Buck Rogers, stranded, calls for help by building a makeshift communication device and is inspired to try it himself. E.T. receives Elliott’s help in building a device to “phone home” by using a Speak & Spell toy. Michael notices that E.T.’s health is declining and that Elliott is referring to himself as “we”.Henry Thomas and Pat Welsh in E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)On Halloween, Michael and Elliott dress E.T. as a ghost so they can sneak him out of the house. That night, Elliott and E.T. head through the forest, where they make a successful call home. The next day, Elliott wakes up in the field, only to find E.T. gone. Elliott returns home to his distressed family. Michael searches for and finds E.T. dying next to a culvert. Michael takes E.T. home to Elliott, who is also dying. Mary becomes frightened when she discovers her son’s illness and the dying alien, just as government agents invade the house. Scientists set up a hospital at the house, questioning Michael, Mary, and Gertie, while treating Elliott and E.T. Their mental connection disappears, and E.T. then appears to die while Elliott recovers. A grief-stricken Elliott is left alone with the motionless E.T. when he notices a dead chrysanthemum, the plant E.T. had previously revived, coming back to life. E.T. reanimates and reveals that his people are returning. Elliott and Michael steal a van that E.T. had been loaded into and a chase ensues, with Michael’s friends joining them as they attempt to evade the authorities by bicycles. Suddenly facing a police roadblock, they escape as E.T. uses telekinesis to lift them into the air and toward the forest, like he had done for Elliott before.Standing near the spaceship, E.T.’s heart glows as he prepares to return home. Mary, Gertie, and “Keys”, a friendly government agent, show up. E.T. says goodbye to Michael and Gertie, as she presents him with the chrysanthemum that he had revived. Before boarding the spaceship, he embraces Elliott and tells him “I’ll be right here”, pointing his glowing finger to Elliott’s forehead. He then picks up the chrysanthemum, boards the spaceship, and it takes off, leaving a rainbow in the sky as everyone watches it leave.If you have not seen E.T. at the theaters since 1985, please I urge you, go see it again. It is a film experience that is indefeasible. It is also a film that should be looked upon as a paradigm for which all movies should try to emulate. There is a reason that films like E.T. and Star Wars and Raiders make the money they do. And there is also a reason they stay firmly planted in our memories. That is because they mean something and they stand for something. Those are the qualities in film that transcend time and they transcend the generations.

REVIEW: SLEEPY HOLLOW – SEASON 3

 

MAIN CAST

Tom Mison (Venus)
Nicole Beharie (Shame)
Lyndie Greenwood (Nikita)
Nikki Reed (Twilight)
Zach Appelman (Beauty and The Beast)
Lance Gross (Star)
Jessica Camacho (The Flash)
Shannyn Sossamon (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)

Tom Mison and Nicole Beharie in Sleepy Hollow (2013)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Peter Mensah (Spartacus)
Maya Kazan (Boardwalk Empire)
Bill Irwin (Legion)
James McDaniel (Malcolm X)
Clancy Brown (Highlander)
Michael O’Keefe (Fear)
Nicholas Guest (Big Hero 6)
Derek Mears (Friday The 13th)
C. Thomas Howell (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Emily Deschanel (Bones)
David Boreanaz (Bones)
Charlene Amoia (The Conjuring 3)

Tom Mison and Nicole Beharie in Sleepy Hollow (2013)Months have passed since the tragic events where Ichabod Crane (Tom Mison) lost his wife and son, as they both turned to the dark side. While averting the apocalypse, the loss of his family caused Ichabod to need some time for himself to process all that has transpired. When he finds himself locked in a prison cell for trying to import undocumented relics, he calls Abbie (Nicole Beharie) to come bail him out. Abbie has also moved on from the events, as she traded her job at the local law enforcement for a more exciting job at the FBI. Even though she misses the bond she had with Crane, she hopes she can leave the past behind her, as she has seen more than enough monsters for an entire lifetime. Sadly, Ichabod has not been sitting by idly, and has discovered that their role as ‘witnesses’, did not stop when they stopped the spawn of hell, Moloch.Sleepy Hollow (2013)As expected, there’s a new demonic presence lurking in the shadows, namely Pandora (Shannyn Sossamon), who we know from Pandora’s box, the box that contains all the evil of the world. She indeed follows the main concept of this legendary tale, and has a box, which contains the world’s most vile demons, who she then slowly starts to unleash upon Sleepy Hollow. The horrible incidents that unfolds may involve the witnesses, but in reality Pandora is trying to revive her love, an omnipotent god named ‘The Hidden One’ (Peter Mensah), a deity that was known for its cruel behavior. Fending off demons is one thing, tampering with the divine will prove to be a different task altogether.SH303_SCN44_CB-602_hires1The series follows the typical formula like the first two seasons, where one thread runs through all episodes, while the witnesses and their allies tackle cases which are usually cracked in the course of one episode. In many ways this means you’ll get to see a new monster per episode, which is often based on legendary figures or demons we have seen for the umpteenth time, with an original Sleepy Hollow twist added to them. Even though everything remains qualitative and interesting, this season feels a bit like ‘been there, done that’, as it may look as if the story just underwent a reboot, with a new enemy in the shadows. Again, this isn’t really a bad thing, but to some it may seem that the series is just being dragged out.Tom Mison and Nicole Beharie in Sleepy Hollow (2013)Overall the cast hasn’t gone through any considerable changes, thus you can expect more of the same, guaranteeing you a qualitative experience. Tom and Nicole still play the perfect counterparts, with enough natural chemistry between them to make you wish they would just let their characters come to terms with their feelings. This season has a few new faces, namely Shannyn Sossamon, who plays Pandora, and Peter Mensah, who plays ‘The Hidden One’. Both play their supernatural roles quite good, and play out the role as the new nemeses of the forces of good perfectly.Sleepy Hollow: Season 3 will still be a delight for fans of the first two seasons, but in many ways the season is just clamping to a new bad guy to drag it out further, which seems to be the norm nowadays. Nonetheless, the continuation of this new story direction does not interfere with the story and acting quality, allowing the series to run strong. If you’re fond of the supernatural, a hefty dose of British accents, a healthy dose of humor and of course the peculiar town of Sleepy Hollow, you’re still in for a treat.

REVIEW: THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN

CAST

Andrew Garfield (The Social Network)
Emma Stone (Birdman)
Rhys Ifans (Alice Through The Looking Glass)
Denis Leary (Rescue Me)
Martin Sheen (Apocalypse Now)
Sally Field (Lincoln)
Irrfan Khan (Jurassic World)
Campbell Scott (Royal Pains)
Embeth Davidtz (Army of Darkness)
Chris Zylka (The Secret Circle)
C. Thomas Howell (E.T.)
Stan Lee (Avengers Assemble)
Jennifer Lyons (That 70s Show)
Michael Massee (Flashforward)
Zoey Deutch (Ringer)
Max Charles (American Sniper)
Kari Coleman (Multiplicity)
Hannah Marks (After Everything)
Barbara Eve Harris (Prison Break)
Skyler Gisondo (Santa Clarita Diet)
Vincent Laresca (Kiss Kiss Bang Bang)
Amber Stevens West (22 Jump Street)
Michael Papajohn (Spider-Man
Andrea Sixtos (Arrow))

A young Peter Parker discovers his father Richard Parker’s study has been burgled. Peter’s parents gather hidden documents and take Peter to the home of his Aunt May and Uncle Ben, then mysteriously depart.Years later, a teenaged Peter attends Midtown Science High School, where he is bullied by Flash Thompson and has caught the eye of Gwen Stacy. At home, Peter finds his father’s papers and learns his father worked with fellow scientist Dr. Curt Connors at Oscorp. Sneaking into Oscorp, Peter enters a lab where a “biocable” is under development from genetically modified spiders, one of which bites him. He later discovers he has developed spider-like abilities, such as sharp senses, reflexes and speed.After studying Richard’s papers, Peter visits the one-armed Connors, reveals he is Richard’s son and gives Connors his father’s “decay rate algorithm”, the missing piece in Connors’ experiments on regenerating limbs. Connors is being pressed by his superior, Dr. Ratha, to devise a cure for the dying (but unseen) head of Oscorp, Norman Osborn. In school, Peter gets into trouble after a basketball challenge with Flash in which Peter accidentally shatters the backboard glass. His uncle changes work shifts to meet with the principal and asks Peter to walk May home for him that night. Peter forgets to do so, distracted while at Oscorp helping Connors regenerate the limb of a laboratory mouse. At home, he and Ben argue and Peter leaves. At a nearby deli, a cashier refuses to let Peter buy milk when Peter is two cents short; when a thief suddenly raids the store, Peter indifferently observes. While searching for Peter, Ben attempts to stop the thief and is killed. The thief escapes as Peter finds Ben dead on the sidewalk.Afterward, Peter uses his new abilities to hunt criminals matching the killer’s description. After a fall lands him inside an abandoned gym, a luchador-wrestling poster inspires him to create a mask to hide his identity. He adds a spandex suit and builds mechanical devices to attach to his wrists to shoot a biocable “web”. Later, at dinner with Gwen’s family, he has a tense conversation with her father, police captain George Stacy, over the new masked vigilante’s motives. After dinner, Peter reveals his identity to Gwen and they kiss.After seeing success with the mouse using lizard DNA, Ratha demands Connors begin human trials immediately. Connors refuses to rush the drug-testing procedure and put innocent people at risk. Ratha fires Connors and decides to test Connors’ serum at a Veterans Administration hospital under the guise of a flu shot. In an act of desperation, Connors tries the formula on himself. After passing out, he awakens to find his missing arm has regenerated. Discovering that Ratha is on his way to the VA hospital, Connors, whose skin is turning green and scaly, goes to intercept him. By the time he gets to the Williamsburg Bridge, Connors has become a violent hybrid of lizard and man, tossing cars, including Ratha’s, over the side. Peter, now calling himself Spider-Man, snatches each falling car with his web-lines.Spider-Man suspects Connors is the Lizard and unsuccessfully confronts the creature in the sewers. The Lizard learns Spider-Man’s real identity via the name on an abandoned camera and follows Peter to school, where they fight. Police start a manhunt for both Spider-Man and the Lizard. Captain Stacy discovers that Spider-Man is really Peter. The Lizard plans to make all humans lizard-like by releasing a chemical cloud from Oscorp’s tower, to eliminate the weaknesses he believes plague humanity. Spider-Man eventually disperses an antidote cloud instead, restoring Connors and earlier victims to normal, but not before the Lizard mortally wounds Captain Stacy. Before his death, Captain Stacy requests Peter avoid Gwen, in order to keep her safe. Peter initially does so, but later at school suggests to Gwen he may see her after all. In a mid-credits scene, Connors, in a prison cell, speaks with a man in the shadows who asks if Peter knows the truth about his father. Connors replies, “No”, and demands Peter to be left alone before the man disappears.I began watching The Amazing Spider-Man with muted expectations, and without anticipation. I walked out of my experience feeling as though the film was actually good not amazing.I think this franchise was too soon for a reboot.

 

REVIEW: THE PUNISHER – SEASON 1

MAIN CAST

Jon Bernthal (World Trade Center)
Ben Barnes (Westworld)
Ebon Moss-Bachrach (Suburban Girl)
Amber Rose Revah (Indian Summers)
Deborah Ann Woll (Daredevil)
Daniel Webber (11.22.63)
Paul Schulze (Zodiac)
Jaime Ray Newman (Bates Motel)
Michael Nathanson (The Wolf of Wall Street)
C. Thomas Howell (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Jason R. Moore (The Sorcerer’s Apprentice)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST STAR

Shohreh Aghdashloo (Star Trek Beyond)
Geoffrey Cantor (The Tick)
Clancy Brown (Highlander)
Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio (Limitless TV)
Rob Morgan (Starnger Things)
Kelli Barrett (Mr. Popper’s Penguins)
Tony Plana (Ugly Betty)
Ripley Sobo (Batman V Superman)
Tim Guinee (Iron Man)
Nicolette Pierini (Annie)
Ilfenesh Hadera (Baywatch)

The Punisher begins with Frank Castle believing he has completed his mission for revenge against the mobsters who killed his family and hanging up his skull-adorned costume. Six months later everybody thinks Frank Castle is dead and, having grown a hipster beard, he’s taken a new name and landed a job on a construction crew where even though more modern equipment is available, he’s able to take a sledgehammer to concrete walls. Frank is about to discover that he did a lot of punishing for nothing, or at least that his punishing was only partial, because it turns out that the death of his family relates to his black ops military service in Afghanistan and he’s going to have to start punishing again. This time, he has an ally in a former NSA analyst Micro, whose family thinks that he’s dead, too. Frank, who works better alone, finds himself in an unlikely partnership and almost a friendship. Castle has to reconnect with former brothers-in-arms Curtis (Jason R. Moore), now working to support soldiers suffering from PTSD, and Billy Russo (Ben Barnes), now the slick head of a private security concern. Meanwhile, the bad stuff that happened in Kandahar has attracted the attention of Homeland Security agent Dinah Madani, a child of Iranian refugees. Also involved, and providing links to the larger Marvel Cinematic Universe, is Daredevil regular Karen Page, whose status as compassionate, frequently endangered Marvel TV sidekick/innocent bystander remains intact.punisher-110The Punisher was a gritty, great start for the character. It helped build the character’s past while presenting a self-contained and intriguing story. There are some definite current modern themes explored and it feels very different from anything on the Marvel Netflix side of things in the past. It was nice to see a character in this series once again take pain and have many potentially fatal situations.  I enjoyed watching the season, fans of the character will find this captured the anti-hero very well though some may feel it’s rather slow to get going. Once it does all move quickly and things are all well developed it doesn’t hold back on the action or tension. The Punisher is a solid character so it’s nice to see a full season actually deliver on what potential there is for this badass within the universe.

REVIEW: FORTUNE HUNTERS (AKA The Million Dollar Kid)

CAST

Richard Thomas (Conviction)
Maureen McCormick (The Brady Bunch)
C. Thomas Howell (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Corey Feldman (The Goonies)
Estelle Getty (The Golden Girls)
Randy Travis (The Price)
Kaye Ballard (Baby Geniuses)
Clint Howard (Apollo 13)
Mark Metcalf (Buffy: The Vampire S.layer)
Alison Lohman (Drag Me To Hell)

013619_6Mr. Hunter (Richard Thomas) is an accountant who keeps his wife, daughter, and son on a very tight budget. Mother Betsy Hunter dreams of a cruise while the kids long for the extras in life, however. On the wall in the living room is a framed dollar bill that was the first money earned by great grandfather Hunter. Naturally, one of the children secretly removes it to buy a lottery ticket. When the ticket might prove to be a winner, it sets off a chain reaction that involves test drives, bingo, large mean dogs and more. How will the fortunes of the Hunter family swing? This darling movie is a surefire winner for folks of all ages. The cast is wonderful (including the lovely Alison Lohman as the teenage daughter) and there are many delightful cameos by thespians who excel in comedic timing. 157_4The storyline is full of fun yet teaches many good lessons in life.

REVIEW: AMERICAN PIE PRESENTS THE BOOK OF LOVE

CAST

Bug Hall (Mortuary)
Brandon Hardesty (The Scorpion King 4)
Kevin M. Norton (Be Afraid)
Beth Behrs (2 Broke Girls)
Melanie Papalia (Dark Room)
Jennifer Holland (Sun Records)
John Patrick Jordan (Evil Bong)
Louisa Lytton (The Bill)
Sherman Hemsley (The Jeffersons)
Curtis Armstrong (New Girl)
Rosanna Arquette (Crash)
Eugene Levy (Cheaper By The Dozen 2)
Cindy Busby (Cedar Cove)
Dustin Diamond (Saved By The bell)
C. Thomas Howell (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Christopher Knight (The Brady Bunch)
Tim Matheson (Van Wilder)
Steve Railsback (Alligator II)

The story begins with Rob entering his bedroom, and attempting to masturbate with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich (similar to the apple pie scenario in the first film). While he is doing this his dog, Frizzie, tries to eat the sandwich, and Rob’s little brother Cody takes a video of him receiving this unwanted sexual gratification. Later, Rob meets with his friends, Nathan and Marshall Lube, at school. Nathan reveals that his girlfriend, Dana, has pledged to abstain from sex until marriage despite the fact that she has already slept with six other people. Rob talks to Heidi, a girl he is attracted to, and Stifler. Stifler states that if Rob doesn’t make a move on Heidi, he will. In class, Lube has a vivid fantasy about a group of cheerleaders, particularly one named Ashley. Rob and Heidi meet later in the school library where she discloses that she is a virgin, and wishes to just “get it [sex] over with”. At the school dance, Nathan tries to get to second base with Dana, but only manages to offend her due to her abstinence pledge. Rob attempts to tell Heidi how he feels about her but is interrupted by Nathan and Lube. He eventually finds her in the library about to have sex with another student, and drops a lit candle in a bin in shock. This sets the library on fire, which sets off the water sprinklers.The next day, when Rob and Heidi are cleaning the library, Rob finds a secret compartment containing ‘The Bible’ (The Book of Love). He shows the book to his friends Nathan and Lube and explains that it is a sex manual that has been compiled over forty years by the students who found it. The book is regarded as legendary, but unfortunately has been damaged by the water. Later in the local mall, Rob attempts to test a tip in the book; ‘Simple Flattery’. He approaches Ashley in a lingerie store and complements her. Ashley leads him into a changing room, takes off her bra and top, and makes him steal a bra for her. Unfortunately Rob is caught and forced to pay for the bra with his mom’s credit card. Meanwhile, Nathan goes to Dana’s church service to talk to her, but accidentally broadcasts the explicit and highly personal conversation to the entire congregation on the church’s PA system. Dana’s father then bans Dana from seeing Nathan. When she receives her credit card bill, Rob’s mom tries to talk to him about buying underwear, prompting Rob to sarcastically say that he likes wearing women’s underwear. He is again filmed by his little brother, who again posts the footage on the internet for the whole school to see.The next day, Heidi, Imogen, and Dana are spectating at a school basketball game in which Rob and Stifler are playing. A girl called Katie tries to talk to Stifler, but he brushes her off. Rob again attempts to tell Heidi how he feels, but is unable to. Lube discovers a page in The Bible which tells of a brothel in Canada and a prostitute, Monique, who is very experienced. The entry was written in 1975, but Lube misreads the date as 1995, and they decide to visit. When they meet Monique the boys are disgusted, but Nathan states that they should go for it anyway. Nathan and Lube make Rob go first, but Monique dies while performing oral sex on him. They panic and drive back to the USA.Rob and Heidi are once again in the library where Rob finally tells her he is attracted to her. Heidi says she feels the same, and they agree to meet at Stifler’s party later. At the party Heidi hears Rob shout “Tonight, I’m getting laid!”, and runs upstairs. Stifler again brushes off Katie when she tries to talk to him. Lube tells Ashley how he feels about her, giving a speech on how he guarantees sexual satisfaction, but she still turns him down. Ashley’s friend is impressed with his promise and tells Lube to meet her upstairs, but when she finds an offensive text on his phone she storms out. Nathan attempts to reconcile with Dana but offends her, making her leave once again. Rob finds Heidi in bed with Stifler and leaves the room. Heidi follows him downstairs, but Rob refuses to talk to her and begins to drink heavily. He declares “only assholes get laid!” and then behaves crudely to a random girl, who promptly goes to bed with him. She asks him to have sex with her from behind, but he hallucinates and sees Heidi saying; “You aren’t seriously going to stick your dick in that, are you?”. Rob then throws up on the girl’s back. The next morning his mother asks him if he drove home drunk, and shows him a film she received on her phone of Rob throwing up on the girl the night before.In an attempt to restore The Bible, Rob and his friends resolve to find all of the people who originally wrote it in order to recreate it, starting with the original creator, Noah Levenstein. They eventually succeed in recreating the book. Rob and his friends then go on the school ski trip. In a log cabin where a few students are playing strip poker, Katie again attempts to talk to Stifler, who again brushes her off. She bets Stifler that if she wins at poker he has to apologise to her and run naked in the snow. Stifler loses and is forced to apologise and go outside naked, where he is humped by a moose. Due to last night’s ordeal, Imogen keeps him company and the two form a bond. The other students are riding up the mountain in gondola ski lifts, but Nathan has sex with Dana in the lift control room and accidentally shut off the lifts’ power. In one lift, Rob and Heidi reconcile and kiss. Ashley and Lube are in another lift, where Lube falls out when trying to go for help. When Ashley climbs down to him, Lube tells her how he really feels about her, moving her to tears. Heidi and Rob return to the cabin and have sex. Lube and Ashley also go back to the cabin and have sex.The story ends with Rob, Nathan, and Lube returning the newly restored Bible to where Rob found it, after Rob has added his signature to it. As a finale, Rob’s brother, Cody, enters his bedroom to find an online film of him putting a vacuum cleaner on his penis. To his horror it has been viewed almost 10 million times. Rob ends the film with the words “Gotcha, ha ha”.american-pie-presents-the-book-of-love-1564423248Another Classic Slice Of Pie From The Classic American Pie Series, Highly Recommended Viewing For All Those American Pie Fans Out There. It’s good to Beth Behrs in a role before she did 2 broke Girls.

REVIEW: HIDALGO


CAST

Viggo Mortensen (Lord of The Rings)
Omar Sharif (Doctor Zhivago)
Zuleikha Robinson (Lost)
Louise Lombard (Stargate Universe)
Said Taghmaoui (COnan The Barbarian)
J.K. Simmons (The Accountant)
Peter Mensah (Spartacus)
C. Thomas Howell (E.T.)
Marshall Manesh (How I Met Your Mother)
Malcolm McDowell (Star Trek: Generations)
Chris Owen (American Pie)

In 1890, American Frank Hopkins (Viggo Mortensen) and his mustang, Hidalgo, are part of Buffalo Bill’s Wild West show, where they are advertised as “the world’s greatest distance horse and rider”. Hopkins had been a famous distance rider, a cowboy, and a dispatch rider for the United States government; in the latter capacity he carried a message to the U.S. 7th Cavalry Regiment authorizing the Wounded Knee Massacre of Lakota Sioux.
Wealthy Sheikh Riyadh (Omar Sharif) has sent his attaché Aziz (Adam Alexi-Malle) to ask the show to either stop using the phrase “the world’s greatest distance horse and rider” or allow Hopkins and Hidalgo to prove themselves by entering the Middle Eastern “Ocean of Fire” race: an annual 3,000-mile survival race across the Najd desert region. The Sheikh is custodian of the al-Khamsa line, considered to be the greatest distance horses in the world, and traditionally the race has been restricted to pure-bred Arabian horses and Bedouin or Arab riders. In addition to the grueling conditions, prevailing animosity and contempt for a Christian “infidel” and “impure” horse, horse and rider face stiff competition, including the wealthy and unscrupulous British horse breeder Lady Anne Davenport (Louise Lombard).To complicate matters, Sheikh Riyadh has promised his daughter Jazira Jazeera (Zuleikha Robinson), his only surviving child, in marriage to the rider of his horse, should he win. She hopes to prevent this by giving Hopkins advice and information to help him win, thereby resulting in greater danger for them both. Sheikh Riyadh’s outcast brigand nephew, who will stop at nothing to gain control of the al-Khamsa line, raids the race camp, kidnaps Jazira, and threatens to kill her unless he gets his uncle’s prize stallion racer as her ransom. Hopkins manages to rescue Jazira. However, Davenport and the Sheikh’s nephew try to sabotage the race by eliminating the rival riders, but are thwarted when Hopkins kills the nephew.
For Hopkins the Ocean of Fire becomes not only a matter of pride, honor and survival, but of identity as well: it emerges that his father was European American while his mother was Lakota Sioux. The Lakota call him “Blue Child” or “Far Rider.” As a half-breed he feels sympathy and pity for his mother’s people, but does not generally reveal his heritage, especially after the Wounded Knee massacre, for which he feels partly responsible. Jazira compares his relation to his heritage to her desire to avoid wearing the veil, saying that he mustn’t “go through life hiding what God made you….like me.”
Nearing the end of the race, Hidalgo is severely injured and Hopkins is dying of thirst. He considers shooting Hidalgo to end his suffering, but is unable to bring himself to do it. Kneeling, he chants a prayer to Wakan Tanka as a possible death song, and images of Lakota elders and his mother appear before him before Hidalgo suddenly struggles up, and Hopkins rides bareback to come from behind win the race. Hopkins wins the respect and admiration of the Arabs, and becomes friends with the Sheikh, giving him his revolver as a gift. As he bids farewell to an unveiled Jazira, she asks him if he is fulfilling the traditional Western tales’ ending where the cowboy rides away into the setting sun and calls him Blue Child as she smiles kindly at him and turns to go. Returning to the United States, Hopkins uses his winnings to buy a herd of mustangs about to be killed by government order, in what was an attempt by the US government to eliminate mustangs and force Native Americans to convert to farming. Hopkins has the horses released and frees Hidalgo to join them in the wild. The epilogue states that Hopkins went on to reportedly win 400 long-distance races and was an outspoken supporter for wild mustangs until his death in 1951, while Hidalgo’s descendants live free in the wild in and around Oklahoma.The film has powerful overtones along with a basic plot. Overall, it made for a great adventure film. Its ending was certainly bittersweet

REVIEW: DEAD FIRE

CAST

Colin Cunningham (Stargate SG.1)
C. Thomas Howell (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Matt Frewer (Watchmen)
Monika Schnarre (Andromeda)
Rachel Hayward (Jingle All The Way 2)

3

Dead Fire is one of them ultra-low budget sci-fi flicks from the nineties. As it cost me a pound and didn’t make out that it was any kind of sci-fi movie messiah (like those Matrix films) I was willing to cut it as much slack as I could. It didn’t commit the cardinal sin of boring me to tears and even though it tried it’s hardest to be as clichéd, by-the-numbers, predictable pile of crap someone along the way someone must have realised this and made it as daft as possible.1680078_hybaw8wdkt_sbo5nu3b2t69nydpippykafvankfzj0mnyqutuc3pcnsxcinetlqa2v7igzso9he3qrk0gluua
It’s 2064 and the Earth has been destroyed by war, as per usual. Floating in orbit around the Earth is a vast model spaceship containing a Cryogenics unit just waiting for the Earth to sort itself out so that everyone can get back down there and start breeding like rabbits. The commanding officer of this ship thinks that the ‘wait and see’ approach is the best idea, but David Coulthard-jawed scientist Kendal thinks that bouncing a solar flare off of the Hubble telescope into Earth’s atmosphere might just jig things up again. That’s so stupid it just might work! It doesn’t though, for the time being. Meanwhile Kendal’s ultra-bland boyfriend Brodie has just been sent down to look after all the frozen people by his boss, some chick whose acting skills are of the soap opera over-emphasize everything ilk, whom I immediately pegged as a traitor. Sure enough, she heads for a prison on Earth (now a vast desert), wastes about twenty people, and releases Max Derbin (Frewer), who had been jailed for previously starting a mutiny on the ship. Traitor-chick, Derbin, and some cronies all head back to the ship and managed to take it over, even though it’s mile across and there’s only about ten of them. To make sure the audience knows Derbin is evil, he kills quite a few folks and acts like he’s Alan Rickman, which, by any stretch of the imagination, he’s not.
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Brodie, meanwhile, has kind of figured out that this is all going on by being attacked by knife wielding guys and a bit of computer hacking. After tricking a terrorist into going into a cryogenic chamber and sticking a rectal probe in his mouth, he revives C Thomas Howell and heads off to waste loads of terrorists. As you can see the film tries to walk the line of your standard terrorists take over something film in a space setting, but seems to continually trip over it’s own feet with inane dialogue, overacting, or dodgy direction. These all turn out to be positive factors in a film like this, however.

10386826_3C Thomas plays a guy called Amos C Tucker, whom Derbin thinks is a particle physician type, but is in fact Amos E Tucker, the guys twin brother! I’ve never met a set of twins called David and David or Ursula and Ursula, but when C Thomas starts going all Darth Maul with a snooker cue on a muscleman, things aren’t all that bad. Your film is in trouble when the baddie shouts ‘Top of the world, Ma!’ just as the entire space station explodes. Brodie and Kendal and C Thomas (along with all the frozen folks) survive, but Brodie must have forgotten about all the innocent awake folks that were on the space station when he decided to blow it up.  There’s even more daftness that I haven’t mentioned, like the inept gun battles to the non-sensical one liners and the really cheap synth score, but when you buy a C Thomas Howell film you shouldn’t expect much, and I didn’t. Things were kept ticking over well enough and although everything played out exactly how you’d expect, it was stupid and inept enough to be even more entertaining than it should be, and I’m sure the film makers knew that anyway.

 

REVIEW: JUSTICE LEAGUE: GODS AND MONSTERS

CAST (VOICES)

Benjamin Bratt (Catwoman)
Michael C. Hall (Dexter)
Tamara Taylor (Bones)
Paget Brewster (Community)
C. Thomas Howell (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Jason Isaacs (Peter Pan)
Dee Bradley Baker (American Dad)
Eric bauza (Batman: Assault on Arkham)
Larry Cedar (Constantine)
Richard Chamberlain (Chuck)
Penny Johnson Jerald (The Orville)
Josh Keaton (Ben 10)
Yuri Lowenthal (Legion of Super Heroes)
Carl Lumbly (Alias)
Khary Payton (Teen Titans)
Tahmoh Penikett (Battlestar Galactica)
Bruce Thomas (Army of Darkness)
Lauren Tom (Bad Santa)
Kari Wahlgren (DC Super Hero Girls)

In an alternate universe, the Justice League is a brutal force that maintains order on Earth. This universe has its own versions of Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman:Superman is Hernan Guerra,the son of General Zod, who was rocketed to Earth as a child and raised by a family of honorable and hardworking Mexican migrant farmers. Having gone through the troubles that illegal immigrants face in the United States, he has become short tempered and withdrawn from humanity. Batman is Dr. Kirk Langstrom, a scientist who, after graduating college, has inadvertently transformed himself into a form of pseudo-vampire in an attempt to cure his cancer, feeding on criminals to satisfy his hunger after it begins to eat away at his humanity.
Wonder Woman is Bekka, a New God and the widow of Darkseid’s son Orion, who fled Apokolips for Earth using a mother box-sword after the New God Highfather killed her husband in a massacre of the Apokolips royal family.

The Justice League’s unaccountability is ultimately challenged by the world’s governments following the suspicious deaths of three renowned scientists: Victor Fries, who was drained of blood in the Arctic, Ray Palmer, who was sliced into two with a sharp weapon, with his car having traces of a high heel shoe, and Silas Stone, who was burned alive by an explosion of heat vision energy along with his young son Victor Stone. The true killers are dark, robotic creatures with appearances and attributes mirroring the Justice League’s, along with ‘Boom Tube’ teleportation abilities. As all suspicion falls on the Justice League, President Amanda Waller asks that they co-operate with the government’s investigation. Wonder Woman speaks to Steve Trevor to learn what the government knows while Superman invites Lois Lane to the Justice League’s HQ, where he tells her of his goals to help humanity, and reveals how little he knows about Krypton or his heritage.

Batman investigates himself and discovers an email on Silas’ computer that was sent to a number of scientists including Dr. Will Magnus, Kirk’s best friend and college roommate who helped his transformation. Having remained close friends with Magnus and his wife, Tina, Batman asks the doctor about “Project Fair Play,” which involved all the scientists under Lex Luthor’s employ, but Magnus tells him nothing. Later, Batman locates all the remaining scientists (consisting of Magnus, John Henry Irons, Michael Holt, Karen Beecher, Pat Dugan, Kimiyo Hoshi, Emil Hamilton, T. O. Morrow, and Stephen Shin) discussing the possible threat over their heads, when they are attacked by the robotic assassins, who travel via Boom Tube. Despite Batman and later, the other League Members intervening, the assassins slaughter the remaining scientists and Tina before ‘Booming’ out, with Magnus being severely burned, and the sole survivor of the attack.

The Justice League take Magnus to their HQ, the Tower of Justice, to recover, while Superman flies into orbit to a satellite, where Luthor now resides. Luthor reveals that Project Fair Play is a weapons program to destroy the League if necessary, while also revealing that he retained all the remaining information on Krypton from Superman’s shuttle, and tells him the truth about Zod, who Superman had envisioned as a hero trying to save his world. Luthor tells Superman that Waller has the original files, and as Superman leaves, a robotic assassin booms in and the satellite explodes. As Superman looks on in shock, Trevor shows satellite footage of the explosion and Superman’s presence to Waller, and she retaliates with Project Fair Play, which consists of troops and vehicles armed with energy weapons powered by red sunlight radiation.

Superman and Wonder Woman face the army at their door as Batman stays inside the Tower, where he activates the Tower’s forcefield, with the idea being that once Magnus recovers, he can clear the League. Suddenly, Tina arrives, confusing Batman, who saw her dead body, but before he can ask the obvious question, she subdues him and shapeshifts into a liquid metal robot. With Batman restrained by Tin, Magnus’ house robot, Tina revives Magnus, who is revealed to have orchestrated the framing of the League, with Nanites that enhance his physical strength to mildly superhuman levels. The assassins, and Tina, are in fact the Metal Men, and the assassins appear with a weapon. Magnus tells Batman that he intends to use a Nanite Bomb to forcefully link humanity together into a hive mind. He reveals to Batman that he accidentally killed the real Tina in a fit of rage one night early in their marriage. Overwhelmed with irrational jealousy, Will believed that she secretly loved Kirk, and was tired of her constantly begging him to find a cure for Kirk’s vampiric condition. After covering up her death, Magnus replaced her with a robotic duplicate named Platinum, and joined Fair Play soon after, intending to use its resources to fund his secret Nanite Bomb project, as he feels that his actions prove that humanity does not deserve to continue if even a brilliant, rational man like himself could do that to his own wife.

As Magnus prepares his weapon, Lex Luthor suddenly teleports into the middle of the battle outside and tells everyone that he has discovered Magnus’ plan. Inside, Batman destroys Tin and frees himself, then seizes an opportunity to drop the forcefield. The Justice League then do battle, with Batman fighting Magnus, Wonder Woman facing Platinum, and Superman fighting the other Metal Men, who quickly merge into a single, more powerful form. Eventually, they all succeed, the bomb is destroyed (at the cost of Superman’s Kryptonian escape craft) and a regretful Magnus commits suicide by disintegrating himself with nanites. week later, the Justice League has been cleared of all wrongdoing, and the world, along with Lois Lane, views them differently. Bekka decides to leave the Justice League to face her past along with Lex Luthor, who wants to explore other worlds after growing bored with this one. Before leaving through a Boom Tube, Lex Luthor gives Superman all the data on Krypton and tells him to be a “real hero”. The film ends with Superman and Batman deciding to sort through the data immediately to help humanity.Bruce Timm and Alan Burnett have really crafted a masterpiece here with ‘God’s and Monsters.’ Each of the 3 main Justice Leaguers or the trinity if you prefer, have been reimagined for this universe in very unique and imaginative ways, we enabled the writers to go further with our heroes than might be possible in the main DC continuity.