REVIEW: THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING

 

CAST

Elijah Wood (Sin City)
Ian McKellen (X-Men)
Viggo Mortensen (Eastern Promises)
Sean Astin (The Goonies)
Liv Tyler (Super)
Cate Blanchett (Babel)
John Rhys-Davies (Beyond The Mask)
Billy Boyd (Seed of Chucky)
Dominic Monaghan (Lost)
Bernard Hill (True Crime)
Orlando Bloom (Kingdom of Heaven)
Christopher Lee (Star Wars Episode II & III)
Hugo Weaving (The Matrix)
Miranda Otto (I, Frankenstein)
David Wenham (Van Helsing)
Brad Dourif (Curse of Chucky)
Karl Urban (Dredd)
Andy Serkis (Rise of The Planet of The Apes)
John Noble (Sleepy Hollow)
Ian Holm (Alien)
Marton Csokas (Xena: Warrior Princess)
Bruce Spence (Mad Max 2)
Bruce Hopkins (Power Rangers Ninja Storm)
Ian Hughes (Hercules: TLJ)
Bruce Phillips (Power Rangers RPM)
Joel Tobeck (Ash vs Evil Dead)
Stephen Ure (Xena: Warrior Princess)
Jed Brophy (The Hobbit)
Craig Parker (Reign)

Gandalf leads Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, and King Théoden to Isengard where they reunite with Merry and Pippin. With Saruman defeated, Gandalf retrieves Saruman’s palantír. Overcome by curiosity, Pippin steals a glance into the seeing-stone, and suffers a mental attack from Sauron himself. Gandalf deduces that Sauron will attack Gondor’s capital Minas Tirith, so he rides there to warn them, taking Pippin with him because Sauron thinks Pippin is the ring bearer.Meanwhile, Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee are led by Gollum to Minas Morgul where they witness the Witch-king of Angmar leading an Orc army to drive Denethor’s younger son Faramir and his men from Osgiliath. At Gollum’s urging, the three begin climbing a precarious stair carved in the cliff face that will take them into Mordor via a ‘secret way’. But having overheard Gollum’s plot to regain the Ring, Sam keeps a suspicious eye on him. In Gondor, Pippin follows Gandalf’s instructions and secretly lights the beacon to signal Théoden to assemble the Rohirrim and come to Gondor’s aid.While helping Théoden gather his forces, Aragorn is approached by Elrond who says Arwen is dying. After seeing a vision of her son she refused to leave Middle Earth. Elrond then gives Aragorn the sword Andúril, Isildur’s sword Narsil reforged, so he can reclaim his birthright while gaining reinforcements from the Dead Men of Dunharrow. Joined by Legolas and Gimli, Aragorn travels to the Paths of the Dead, recruiting the Army of the Dead with the promise to release them from their curse once they fulfil their oath to Isildur.Faramir is gravely wounded after a futile effort to retake Osgiliath, and believing his son to be dead, Denethor falls into madness. Gandalf is left to command the city defences against the Orc army led by Gothmog. But as Gothmog’s forces eventually force their way into the city, Denethor tries to kill himself and Faramir on a pyre. Pippin alerts Gandalf and they save Faramir, but Denethor leaps to his death from the top of Minas Tirith just before Théoden and the Rohirrim arrive. Initially the Rohirrim have the advantage at the Battle of the Pelennor Fields, but are eventually overwhelmed by the Oliphaunt-riding Haradrim while the Witch-king mortally wounds Théoden. Though Théoden’s niece Éowyn, having posed as a male soldier, battles and slays the Witch-King with Merry’s help, Théoden dies of his wounds. Aragorn arrives with the Army of the Dead, they overcome the Orcs and win the battle. The Dead are released from their curse, and the wounded are tended to. Aragorn and the other captains of Men decide to lead all who can march upon the Black Gate as a distraction, so Frodo and Sam can get to Mount Doom.Meanwhile, Gollum manipulates Frodo into leaving Sam behind before they arrive at the tunnel leading to Mordor, and then tricks him into lair of the giant spider Shelob, who paralyses and binds Frodo. Sam arrives and drives Shelob away, but believing his friend to be dead takes Frodo’s sword Sting and The One Ring for safekeeping. When he sees Frodo’s body being taken by Orcs to Cirith Ungol he realises that Frodo is still alive, and gives chase. Sam rescues Frodo from the Orcs, and returns the Ring to him.Aragorn’s army draw out Sauron’s forces and empty Mordor, allowing the exhausted Hobbits to stagger to the volcano, but they’re attacked by Gollum when they reach Mount Doom. Frodo finally succumbs to the Ring’s power and claims it as his own, and refuses to destroy it. Gollum attacks Frodo and bites his finger off to reclaim the Ring, but Frodo fights back and knocks Gollum, who is holding the Ring, into the volcano. While Frodo holds onto the ledge for dear life, Sam manages to save him and both escape the volcano at the last second. The Ring and Sauron are both destroyed, causing a chain-reaction that consumes the mountain, topples Barad-dûr, and kills most of the fleeing Orcs as the ground crumbles beneath them. Gandalf flies in with eagles to rescue the Hobbits, who awaken later in Minas Tirith and are reunited with the surviving Fellowship members.Aragorn is crowned King of Gondor and takes Arwen as his queen. They, and all others present at his coronation, bow before Frodo and the Hobbits. The Hobbits then return to the Shire where Sam marries Rosie Cotton. Frodo, while happy for his friends, is unable to cope with the traumas of his journey, and departs Middle Earth for the Grey Havens with his uncle Bilbo, Gandalf, and the Elves. He leaves Sam the Red Book of Westmarch which details their adventures. Though saddened by Frodo’s departure, Sam is gladdened by the warm welcome he receives upon returning home.

This is one of the best series of all time, Fellowship Of The Ring still nicks it as my fave of the three movies if I was pushed to choose. You can’t really detract from what Peter Jackson has achieved with this film, Tolkien himself gave the film rights away for practically nothing, deeming the book impossible to translate to film. Peter Jackson proved him wrong and we now have a great trilogy of films that will stand the test of time.

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REVIEW: THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE TWO TOWERS

CAST

Elijah Wood (Sin City)
Ian McKellen (X-Men)
Viggo Mortensen (Eastern Promises)
Sean Astin (The Goonies)
Liv Tyler (Super)
Cate Blanchett (Babel)
John Rhys-Davies (Beyond The Mask)
Billy Boyd (Seed of Chucky)
Dominic Monaghan (Lost)
Bernard Hill (True Crime)
Orlando Bloom (Kingdom of Heaven)
Christopher Lee (Star Wars Episode II & III)
Hugo Weaving (The Matrix)
Miranda Otto (I, Frankenstein)
David Wenham (Van Helsing)
Brad Dourif (Curse of Chucky)
Karl Urban (Dredd)
Andy Serkis (Rise of The Planet of The Apes)
Craig Parker (Reign)
John Leigh (Power Rangers Samurai)
Bruce Hopkins (Xena: Warrior Princess)
John Bach (Spartacus)
John Noble (Sleepy Hollow)
Sean Bean (Game of Thrones)
Stephen Ure (Ash vs Evil Dead)
Paul Norell (Young Hercules)

Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee continue their journey to Mordor to destroy the One Ring by throwing it into Mount Doom. They are attacked in the night by Gollum, former owner of the Ring, but they capture him. Sympathising with Gollum for their shared burden, Frodo asks Gollum to lead them safely to Mordor, despite Sam’s objections. Meanwhile, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli pursue the Uruk-hai who kidnapped their friends Merry and Pippin. The Uruk-hai are slaughtered by the Rohirrim army of Rohan, but the two Hobbits escape into Fangorn Forest where they meet the Ent Treebeard. Aragorn’s group later meet the Rohirrim who have been banished by their king Théoden, who is manipulated by Saruman’s servant Grima Wormtongue. Tracking the Hobbits in Fangorn, Aragorn’s group encounter a resurrected Gandalf who perished in Moria, but was revived to help save Middle-earth.Gollum leads Frodo and Sam through the Dead Marshes whilst evading the Nazgûl. They reach the Black Gate to Mordor but Gollum stops them, saying it’s too risky and that there is another entrance, finding himself becoming loyal to Frodo for his kindness. The trio later are captured by the Rangers of Ithilien, led by Faramir, brother of the late Boromir. When Faramir discovers Frodo has the Ring, he intends on taking him to Gondor, capturing Gollum when Frodo exposes him. Aragorn, Gandalf, Legolas, and Gimli travel to Rohan’s capital Edoras where Gandalf releases Théoden from Saruman’s power and Wormtongue is banished. Learning Saruman plans on wiping out Rohan with an army of Uruk-hai, Théoden decides to move his citizens to the protection of Helm’s Deep, but Gandalf departs to find the Rohirrim led by Théoden’s nephew Éomer. Aragorn strikes up a friendship with Théoden’s niece Éowyn who quickly falls in love with him. During a Warg attack, Aragorn falls off a cliff into a river, but is found by his horse and taken to Helm’s Deep.In Fangorn, Merry and Pippin attend an Ent council but learn Treebeard and the others will not participate in the war. They convince them otherwise when they show the destruction Saruman has unleashed on the forests around Isengard. The Ents storm Isengard and imprison Saruman in his tower. The Uruk-hai army arrive at Helm’s Deep, finding a makeshift army of peasants and Elves from Rivendell waiting for them. A great battle follows with Théoden losing hope until Aragorn convinces him to ride out and meet them. Gandalf and the Rohirrim arrive, turning the tide of the battle and destroying the Uruk-hai.Frodo, Sam, and Gollum are taken to the fallen Gondor city Osgiliath but they are attacked by the Nazgûl and Mordor army. Sam informs Faramir of how the Ring nearly drove Boromir mad, stunning Faramir. Frodo is nearly captured by the Nazgûl but Sam tackles him down a flight of stairs, saving him. After the attack ends, Faramir frees the trio and sends them on their way. Gollum, hurt by Frodo’s seeming betrayal, decides to reclaim the Ring by leading Frodo and Sam to a creature he refers to as “her”, leading them away towards Mordor.The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Extended Version might rasie a few eyebrows when one sees how long the extented version is, however the extra 40 minutes added to the theatrical cut actually make the ‘The Two Towers’ a better film to enjoy as a lord of the rings and/or film fan. The extra footage, adds depth and suspense to the story, which makes it more gripping, particularly during some of the extended scenes during the battle of Helm’s Deep. There is more character evolution, which gives one a more indepth view of the more mystical sides of the main characters (their backgrounds and their power), particularly Aragon and Gandalf.Furthermore, the extended material gives a larger role to Merry and Pippin, to which many hardcore lord of the rings fans is a great boost to the story. They are a greater aspect of the story and unlike in the theatrical cut, don’t just sit in a tree all the film.What I enjoyed most however, was the realism of the film that the extented edition gave to Tolkein’s writings, though true some aspects were not entirly accurate to the The Two Towers book, the extended editon gave one the feeling more that they were in Middle-Earth, than the theatrical cut.The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Extended Version is an ideal viewing for any lord of the rings fan, but furthermore, it is a great epic to watch of any person, even those who saw the theatrical cut, before reading the book.

REVIEW: THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RINGS

CAST

Elijah Wood (Sin City)
Ian McKellen (X-Men)
Viggo Mortensen (Eastern Promises)
Sean Astin (The Goonies)
Liv Tyler (Super)
Cate Blanchett (Babel)
John Rhys-Davies (Beyond The Mask)
Billy Boyd (Seed of Chucky)
Dominic Monaghan (Lost)
Orlando Bloom (Kingdom of Heaven)
Christopher Lee (Star Wars Episode II & III)
Hugo Weaving (The Matrix)
Andy Serkis (Rise of The Planet of The Apes)
Sean Bean (Game of Thrones)
Ian Holm (Alien)
Marton Csokas (Alice In Wonderland)
David Weatherley (Power Rangers Operation Overdrive)
Craig Parker (Reign)
Mark Ferguson (Hercules In The Underworld)

In the Second Age of Middle-earth, the Dark Lord Sauron forges the One Ring in Mount Doom to conquer all, abandoning a great part of his power to it in order to dominate, through it, at a distance, the other Rings of Power, which had been granted to lords of Elves, Dwarves and Men. An army of men and elves battle Sauron’s forces in Mordor, where Prince Isildur of Gondor cuts the One Ring off of Sauron’s finger, thereby temporarily destroying his physical shape, and decides to take care of the Ring himself, but the evil influence of the Ring corrupts Isildur, preventing him from destroying it in Mount Doom. Isildur is later killed by Orcs, and the Ring is lost for 2,500 years, found and owned by Gollum for five centuries. The Ring is then found by a Hobbit named Bilbo Baggins.Sixty years on, Bilbo celebrates his 111th birthday in the Shire, reuniting with his old friend Gandalf the Grey. Bilbo reveals he intends on leaving the Shire for one last adventure and leaves his inheritance to his nephew Frodo, including the Ring. Gandalf investigates the Ring, discovering its true identity and warns Frodo. Learning Gollum was tortured by Orcs and told them that Bilbo took the Ring, Gandalf instructs Frodo to leave the Shire, accompanied by his gardener Samwise Gamgee. Gandalf rides to Isengard, meeting fellow wizard Saruman the White, but learns he is in league with Sauron, who has unleashed the Ringwraiths to find Frodo. After a brief battle, Saruman imprisons Gandalf. Frodo and Sam are joined by fellow Hobbits, Merry and Pippin, and they evade the Ringwraiths, arriving in Bree where they are meant to meet Gandalf, but are instead aided by a ranger named Strider, a friend of Gandalf’s who escorts them to Rivendell.The Hobbits are ambushed by the Ringwraiths, one stabbing Frodo with a morgul blade. Arwen, an elf and Strider’s lover, comes to Frodo’s aid and successfully takes him to Rivendell where he is healed, meeting Gandalf who escaped Saruman on the back of a giant eagle. Arwen’s father, Lord Elrond, holds a council, deciding that the Ring must be destroyed in Mount Doom. While the members argue, Frodo volunteers to take the Ring, accompanied by Gandalf, Sam, Merry, Pippin, elf Legolas, dwarf Gimli, Boromir of Gondor, and Strider, who is revealed to be Aragorn, Isildur’s heir and rightful King of Gondor. Bilbo gives Frodo his sword, Sting. The Fellowship of the Ring sets off but Saruman’s magic forces them to travel through the Mines of Moria.The Fellowship find the dwarves within Moria have been slain, and they are attacked by Orcs and a cave troll. They defeat them, but are confronted by an ancient demon called the Balrog. Gandalf casts the Balrog into a vast chasm, but its fiery whip drags Gandalf down into the darkness with it. The rest of the Fellowship, now led by Aragorn, reach Lothlórien, home to elves Galadriel and Celeborn. Galadriel privately informs Frodo that only he can complete the quest and one of his friends will try to take the Ring. Meanwhile, Saruman creates an army of Uruk-hai to track and kill the Fellowship save Frodo.The Fellowship leave Lothlórien by river to Parth Galen. Frodo wanders off, confronted by Boromir who tries to take the Ring in desperation. Afraid of the Ring corrupting his friends, Frodo decides to travel to Mordor alone. The other members fight off the Uruk-hai, but Merry and Pippin are taken captive, and Boromir is mortally wounded by the Uruk chieftain. After killing the chieftain, Aragorn helps Boromir die peacefully. Sam follows Frodo, accompanying him to keep his promise to Gandalf to protect Frodo, while Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli go to rescue Merry and Pippin.The extended versions are easily recommended over the theatrical versions. Across the three films you’re getting at least two hours of additional scenes which cover more of the story and fill in the gaps. Some of them are not plot critical, hence their original omission, but it’s nice to have them all the same.

REVIEW: THE FORGER

CAST

Josh Hutcherson (The Hunger Games)
Hayden Panettiere (Heroes)
Lauen Bacall (The Big Sleep)
Alfred Molina (Spider-Man 2)
Billy Boyd (Seed of Chucky)
Adam Godley (Powers)
Tricia Helfer (Battlestar Galactica)

Joshua Mason (Josh Hutcherson) is a troubled 15-year-old who is abandoned by his mother at a motel in Carmel-by-the-Sea. The story begins with Joshua finishing a painting at an old mission and selling it for $50, only to be caught by the artist who had left the painting on an easel. He returns to the motel room to sleep. When the motel manager comes to collect payment, Joshua grabs his belongings and runs out the back door. A social worker, Vanessa Reese, visits the manager and he explains that he hasn’t seen the boy’s mother for some time. He shows Vanessa the room and that the boy has painted some amazing art on the walls, mirror and ceiling. Joshua, meanwhile, wanders around the town and chats to a girl, Amber, through a school yard fence. One of the school’s faculty reprimands Amber for not returning to school and grabs her by the arm to take her to the principal’s office. Joshua becomes upset with how aggressive the teacher is, pulling at her arm, and shouts at him to give her a break and pick on someone his own size. Joshua climbs the fence and pulls Amber from the teacher’s grip only to be confronted by two boys – one of them her brother Ryan, who thinks she’s being harassed. Joshua punches Ryan, who then punches back. Joshua runs off, climbs the fence and shouts back he’s sorry to the girl. When it starts to rain, he hides in a culvert but gets caught in the flowing water. His hand is cut as he falls out of the culvert into the sea/coast below.

Joshua walks along the rocky coastline and happens upon a large sea-side mansion and finding a side door that’s been left open, ‘breaks’ in. He showers, cleans up his cut and now starving, makes himself a large sandwich. While exploring the mansion, he finds an art studio with a painting that is half complete (being copied from a photo) and finishes it before falling asleep. When he awakens he’s confronted by the police and taken to child services. He tells the social worker that he doesn’t know where his mother is.

Back at the mansion, the owner, Everly (Alfred Molina), finds the now-finished painting and believes the boy has real talent since he had been unable to find anyone to complete the portrait, let alone do it with such complete accuracy. Everly decides to take in the boy thinking that he might be able to exploit his art talent. While eating breakfast one morning, Everly gives Joshua an expensive fountain pen as a gift and the two talk about art. Joshua, knowing little on the history of art, jokingly tells Everly that his favorite artist is Hank Ketcham, the creator of Dennis the Menace. During a charity art benefit, Joshua meets a kind old woman named Anne-Marie Cole (Lauren Bacall). He also meets Ryan, Amber’s brother, and the two apologize to each other about what had gone down at the school yard the other day. Ryan says Amber told him the full story of what happened and thanks Joshua for looking out for his sister. The two talk about Anne-Marie and how she’s indeed cool but also loaded.

That night, Joshua breaks into Anne-Marie’s home but is unsure of why he does. He begins to go through some of her things and finds a leather-thong necklace with a small vial (filled with something that he later finds out to be cyanide) which he pilfers, as well as a picture of an unknown man. Anne-Marie discovers Joshua in the room and asks him what he is doing. He asks who the man is in the photograph. She tells him it is an artist named George and nothing more. She then calls Everly to come and collect him. The next day Joshua and Amber talk on the beach. When Amber asks what she could do to repay him, he states that she could give him a kiss. She laughs it off and races him down the beach but drops her keys in an effort to win. She beats him and while trying to get her keys back from him, he kisses her without warning. She pushes him off, demands for him to give her the keys before leaving him on the beach. There he finds a large black dog and learns that it is Anne-Marie’s dog Matilda. He takes Matilda home to Anne-Marie and the two of them talk over a bowl of soup.

Meanwhile, Vanessa continues her search to find Joshua’s mother and learns that she may be living with her boyfriend. Joshua goes to Amber’s and gives her a portrait of her that he had drawn. She smiles and comments that it looks good and invites him to sit with her. Joshua apologizes for what he did at the beach and that he was foolish for kissing her like that. She tells him that it was the worst kiss she had ever experienced and teaches him how to “properly” kiss a girl. Meanwhile, Everly has sold the painting that Joshua had completed earlier but needs to complete a Winslow Homer in just a couple of weeks or lose his art galleries along with everything he owns. He decides to take a risk and use the boy seeing as he is the only one who could complete the portrait accurately and on time. Joshua attends a party that Amber is throwing and sees her in the arms of another guy, who happens to be her cousin. He grows jealous and follows them in the house and is about to confront him but he is held back by Ryan. Joshua and Ryan fight, resulting in Joshua hitting Ryan with a pool ball.
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Joshua goes to Anne-Marie’s where she tends to his wounds. She tells him that just seeing something won’t give you the truth, that you sometimes have to look at something in a different light. She then asks if he would like to live with her. He tells her that he would have to think about it. Back at Everly’s, Joshua confronts Everly about his forgery scheme and how for $500 he will keep his mouth shut. Everly gives him a different proposition: If he does one more painting he will get half the money made from it – a possibility of millions. Joshua, amazed, says yes. For a week he learns what forgers have to do so their paintings pass as authentic. When the painting is finished, Joshua and Everly have an unpleasant conversation. Joshua, having second thoughts, then takes the painting from the house and hides it.
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Meanwhile, Vanessa finds Joshua’s mother living with her boyfriend and a child. Vanessa then calls child protective services to rescue the child. She goes back to her office and takes a closer look at Joshua’s file and learns that he has been abused by his mother. She discovers that Anne-Marie wants to become Joshua’s permanent guardian. She learns how Anne-Marie had been questioned by the police and fell under suspicion of forgery. Vanessa also learns that Anne-Marie lost her family in a house fire and was unable to save her only surviving daughter. Joshua goes to Anne-Marie’s after hearing a rumor from Everly that she was once a forger. He goes through her stuff and finds a forger’s hammer and a newspaper clipping about how she was suspected of art forgeries. He then runs away feeling that he cannot trust anyone. Vanessa then meets with Joshua and tells him she could not find his mother. Joshua then breaks down in tears feeling that he is unwanted.
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Ryan talks to Joshua and tells him he needs to apologize to Amber, which he does. Joshua then goes ahead and steals the painting. Anne-Marie goes to Everly’s to talk to Joshua and finds the door unlocked. She goes in and wanders into the art studio where she learns that Joshua has stolen the painting. Joshua then goes to the art exhibit and returns the painting, but before he leaves Anne-Marie, in front of everybody, slices the portrait and tells everyone that it was a forgery and that she at one time painted one of Everly’s forgeries and has regretted it ever since. The portrait is confirmed to be a forgery when an underpainting of Dennis the Menace is revealed. In the end, Joshua agrees to Anne-Marie’s request and lives with her, and is also in a relationship with Amber. He states that, “I wasn’t sure what I was looking for at first when I broke into Anne-Marie’s house, but now I know. I was looking for a place to belong.”mv5bnjk3mti1nzk2of5bml5banbnxkftztywodqzndez-_v1_uy317_cr820214317_al_Forget about all the weak points within the script and enjoy this movie as a very good piece of light entertainment.

REVIEW: MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD

 

CAST

Russell Crowe (Gladiator)
Paul Bettany (Avengers: Age of Ultron)
James D’Arcy (Agent Carter)
Robert Pugh (Robin Hood)
Joseph Morgan (The Originals)
Billy Boyd (Lord of The Rings)
John DeSantis (Blade: The Series)

In May 1805, during the Napoleonic Wars, Captain Jack Aubrey of HMS Surprise is ordered to pursue the French privateer Acheron, and “Sink, Burn or take her [as] a Prize.” The British warship is ambushed by Acheron; Surprise is heavily damaged, while its own cannon fire does not penetrate the enemy ship’s hull. Using smaller boats, the crew of Surprise tow the ship into a fog bank and evade pursuit. Meanwhile, Aubrey learns from a crewman who saw Acheron being built that it is heavier and faster than Surprise, and the senior officers consider the ship out of their class. Aubrey notes that such a ship could tip the balance of power in Napoleon’s favour if allowed to plunder the British whaling fleet at will. He orders pursuit of Acheron, rather than returning to port for repairs. Acheron again ambushes Surprise, but Aubrey slips away in the night by using a clever decoy buoy and ships lamps.

Following the privateer south, Surprise rounds Cape Horn and heads to the Galapagos Islands, where Aubrey is sure Acheron will prey on Britain’s whaling fleet. The ship’s doctor, Maturin, is interested in the islands’ flora and fauna, and Aubrey promises his friend several days’ exploration time. When Surprise reaches the Galapagos they recover the survivors of a whaling ship destroyed by Acheron. Realizing the ship is close, Aubrey hastily pursues the privateer. Maturin feels that Aubrey is going back on his word, and is following Acheron more out of pride than duty.

Marine officer Captain Howard attempts to shoot an albatross, but accidentally hits Maturin. The surgeon’s mate informs Aubrey that the bullet and a piece of cloth it took with it must be removed, but the operation should be performed on solid ground. Despite closing on Acheron, Aubrey turns around and takes the doctor back to the Galapagos. Maturin performs surgery on himself using a mirror. Giving up the pursuit of the privateer, Aubrey grants Maturin the chance to explore the island and gather specimens before they head for home. On crossing the island looking for a species of flightless cormorant, the doctor discovers Acheron anchored on the other side of the island. Abandoning most of his specimens, Maturin warns Aubrey, and Surprise readies for battle. Due to Acheron’s sturdy hull, Surprise must get in close to deal damage. After observing the camouflage ability of one of Maturin’s specimens—a stick insect—Aubrey disguises Surprise as a whaling ship; he hopes the French would move close to capture the valuable ship rather than destroy it. The Acheron falls for the disguise and is disabled. Aubrey leads boarding parties across the wreckage, engaging in fierce hand-to-hand combat before the ship is captured. Looking for the Acheron’s captain, Aubrey is directed to the sickbay, where a French doctor tells him the captain is dead and offers Aubrey the commander’s sword.

Acheron and Surprise are repaired; while Surprise will remain in the Galapagos, the captured Acheron is to be taken to Valparaíso. As Acheron sails away, Maturin mentions that their doctor had died months ago. Realising the French captain deceived him by pretending to be the ship’s doctor, Aubrey gives the order to change course to intercept the Acheron and escort her to Valparaíso, and for the crew to assume battle stations. Maturin is again denied the chance to explore the Galapagos, but Aubrey wryly notes that since the bird he seeks is flightless, “it’s not going anywhere”, and the two play a selection of Luigi Boccherini as the crew assumes battle stations and the Surprise turns in pursuit of the Acheron.

A truly excellent film. Very well shot and scored, it really conveys the atmosphere and feel of the era and situation well. Russel Crowe is well cast, long with the other staple characters. It’s quite an experience, and I would certainly recommend watching it.

REVIEW: SEED OF CHUCKY

CAST
Brad Dourif (Dune)
Jennifer Tilly (Liar, Liar)
Hannah Spearritt (Agent Cody Banks 2)
John Waters (Hairpsray)
Billy Boyd (Lord of The Rings)
Redman (How High)
Jason Flemyng (Snatch)
Six years after the events of Bride of Chucky, Glen, the kind and gentle son of Chucky and Tiffany, has a nightmare in which he brutally murders a little girl’s parents. In reality, he is living a life of embarrassment and abuse as a ventriloquist’s dummy from his own point of view. Desperate to know his parents, Glen tracks Chucky and Tiffany down to Hollywood, where they are first shown killing a man who is dressed as Santa Claus for a movie. Upon tracking down his mom and dad, who are now dummies in one of Jennifer Tilly’s films, Glen uses a voodoo amulet to bring them back to life. When Chucky (voice of Brad Dourif) finds out that Glen is his child, he faints. However, Tiffany (voice of Jennifer Tilly) is delighted and hugs her child. Tiffany and Chucky argue over whether Glen is male or female, due to his lack of genitals (though he is clearly a male). Chucky decides to continue labeling him as a boy, while Tiffany labels him as a girl, calling him “Glenda”.
When a puppeteer Tony Gardner (designer) begins taking Tiffany apart, she and Chucky decapitate him with a piano wire. Jennifer Tilly sees the beheaded body and calls the police. Chucky, Tiffany, and Glen ride with her home in a limousine. Glen, having witnessed his mom and dad kill the puppeteer, asks them why they murder others, as he feels that violence is bad. Tiffany and Chucky make an agreement to quit killing, although Chucky only pretends to agree, crossing his fingers behind his back hoping to get Tiffany to shut up.
Jennifer tries to get a role as the Virgin Mary in Redman’s directorial debut, but after Redman says that Jennifer isn’t right for the part, she invites him over to her house. Chucky and Tiffany make plans to transfer their souls into Redman and Jennifer. Jennifer and Redman start to make love, only for Tiffany to knock them out. While they are unconscious, Tiffany inseminates Jennifer with Chucky’s semen. Chucky leaves and takes Glen with him. After driving Britney Spears’ car off the road, killing her, they proceed to go to a photographer’s darkroom. The photographer, Pete Peters (John Waters), had taken pictures of Tilly kissing Redman, and of Chucky masturbating. Glen tries to warn Peters that Chucky will kill him, only for Peters to bump into a shelf, causing a jar of acid to fall and accidentally kill him. Chucky, overjoyed, believes Glen did this on purpose and takes a picture to celebrate, much to Glen’s and Tiffany’s dismay.
Jennifer awakens the next morning, realizes that she is pregnant and claims that Redman is responsible, though he denies this. Angered, Tiffany kills Redman by gutting him. The next day, Jennifer is horrified to find herself with a fully pregnant belly. The voodoo magic that fuels the killer dolls has also accelerated the pregnancy. Jennifer is captured by Chucky. Her chauffeur Stan, serving as Chucky’s replacement body due to Redman’s death, is also captured. Jennifer’s assistant Joan (Hannah Spearritt) tries to help her, but she is brutally killed by Tiffany when she is sprayed with fire. Chucky later reveals that he killed three people and hid them in a closet like Tiffany did to Redman trying to stop “Tiffany” from “crying” when he believed that she was crying for killing Joan. However, it turns that it was Glenda, Glen’s twin sister whose soul shares Glen’s body. Tiffany finds out about this and smacks Glenda to break Glen out of this.
Jennifer gives birth to twins, a boy and a girl, and it is then that Chucky has an epiphany. After years of being an infamous killer doll, Chucky finally accepts his circumstances. Disturbed, Tiffany rejects Chucky and resolves to take Glen with her. Chucky throws a knife at Jennifer, but Stan jumps in front and is stabbed in the chest, and he tells Tilly that he loves her before he dies. Before Glen can decide which baby to possess, the police arrive, forcing the dolls to flee. Jennifer is rushed to the hospital by the police, but she claims she wants to see her babies. Tiffany drugs Jennifer and begins to possess her, but Chucky breaks in and kills Tiffany with an axe. Before Tiffany dies, she tells Glen to not make the same mistakes his mom and dad have made. Glen, devastated by his mother’s death, snaps and fights Chucky. Jennifer throws an axe to Glen. When Glen picks up the axe, he impales Chucky in the chest. At that time, Chucky thought he was fighting against Glenda, but Glen reveals that it was he, himself, doing this, as he dismembers him. Glen then asks Chucky if he is proud of him and Chucky congratulates Glen before being decapitated and killed by his son. Realizing what he has done, Glen suffers an emotional breakdown, and Jennifer comforts him.
Five years later, at Glen and Glenda’s birthday party, a nanny quits her job because Jennifer’s daughter Glenda scares her. Jennifer lets her quit, only to kill her when she turns away, and Jennifer’s eyes glow green, revealing that Tiffany was successful in possessing Jennifer’s body. Glen has taken the body of the son, and receives a strange, unnamed present. When he opens the present, he sees that it’s Chucky’s right arm; frightened, he urinates himself and turns around. Chucky’s arm then grabs him and he begins screaming as the screen smash cuts to black; Chucky’s evil laughter is heard.
Full marks to Jennifer Tilly who not only voices Tiffany, but stars as herself and mercilessly sends herself up, portraying herself as an evil human, not an awful lot better than the evil dolls. So, expect more killing and bloodshed, only this time played for laughs rather than scares.

REVIEW: SPACE MILKSHAKE

CAST
Amanda Tapping (Stargate SG.1)
Kristin Kreuk (Beauty and The Beast)
George Takei (Heroes)
Robin Dunne (Sanctuary)
Billy Boyd (Lord of The Rings)
Amy Matysio (Just Friends)
Space Milkshake is a comedic adventure that’s got its feet firmly planted in the science fiction of yesteryear while still delivering a modern take on the genre. The film stars Robin Dunne, Billy Boyd, Amanda Tapping and Kristen Kreuk in what can only be described as the love child of Alien and Red Dwarf.
In the future, one of the biggest problems the Earth must deal with is space waste, debris floating around in space. To deal with this, there are sanitation stations set up around the Earth to take care of the excess garbage and to guide various vessels from bumping into any of it. Odd things begin to happen after a rubber duck hits the outer haul of one of these stations and the four person crew brings the item aboard shortly after all life on Earth dissapears. Turns out, in ain’t just a rubber duck but instead a creature named Gary (voiced by sci-fi icon George Takei) whose travelled through time and space to open a portal to his evil dimension to take over the universe. Needless to say that somebody’s got to stop him and since there’s noboby else around, it has to be these four sanitation workers. But do they have the cajones to do it?
One of the coolest things about Space Milkshake is that while funny, it does a very good job of keeping itself looking and feeling like science fiction. Director Armen Evrensel and crew stick to the elements we know so well with a haunting and suspenseful score, smart looking camera angles that evoke the first Alien film and old school techniques to make this movie feel authentic. When the station gets hit with something, the camera shakes to one side and the actors react. When Gary makes his full appearance as a large alien creature, there’s no CGI. Instead we get a practical effect. It’s a big giant puppet and it’s awesome! What’s great about this film is that the comedy is played straight by its surroundings and the job of coveying the humour is left solely on the actors. And thankfully, the cast delivers.
What’s interesting when you look at this small cast of four (five if you count Takei’s voice) is that with the exception of Boyd, none of them are really known for their comedy chops. Tapping, Dunne and Kreuk are all regulars from the t.v. sci-fi/drama world but they each show some great comedic timing. Dunne is Jimmy, a believable everyman as he tries to guess his way from one problem to the next. He gets some of the best lines, hands down. Tapping is more than convincing as Valentina, a woman who is fed up with her surroundings and yearns for more out of life. Her act outs in frustration are grounded in reality, making them hilarious. Suprisingly, Kristen Kreuk has some of the best comic moments in the film as the android Tilda who gets to play with her character a great deal, at times appearing very mechanical and at others, like a child discovering her surroundings. George Takei also gets some hilarious scenes as the creature/rubber duck. His delivery on some lines is worth watching the film alone. Billy Boyd rounds out the cast as Captain Anton who is your typical pompous commanding officer who’s all bravado and not much brains.
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The ensemble play off each other very well and commit to the absurdity of the story. This is given an even more interesting layer as each of the characters on their own might be seen as jerks for the most part. But throughout the film, we can’t help but fall for this rag tag group of interglactic garbarge workers. The only real question with the film is “Why is it called Space Milkshake?” Thankfully, the film’s story, acting and humour rightly distracted me from this query.