REVIEW: JAY & SILENT BOB REBOOT

 

REBOOT

Starring

Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P.)
Kevin Smith (4.3.2.1.)
Harley Quinn Smith (Once Upon A Time… In Hollywood)
Aparna Brielle (A.P. Bio)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Brian O’Halloran (Clerks)
Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Joey Lauren Adams (Chasing Amy)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Yoga Hosers)
Treshelle Edmond (Glee)
Alice Wen (Mr. Student Body President)
Craig Robinson (This is The End)
Joe Manganiello (Justice League)
Justin Long (Tusk)
David Dastmalchian (Reprisal)
Chris Jericho (MacGruber)
Kate Micucci (Mom)
Diedrich Bader (American Housewife)
Melissa Benoist Supergirl)
Val Kilmer (Batmam Forever)
Tommy Chong (That 70s Show)
Ben Affleck (Argo)
Matt Damon (Jason Bourne)
Fred Armisen (The Dictator)
Molly Shannon (Wet Hot American Summer)
Ralph Garman (Ted)
Rosario Dawson (Sin City)
Adam Brody (Jennifer’s Body)
Dan Fogler (Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them)
Jason Biggs (American Pie)
James Van Der Beek (Dawson’s Creek)
Chris Hemsworth (Thor)
Stan Lee (The Avengers)
Marilyn Ghigliotti (Clerks)
Chris Wood (The Vampire Diaries)
Jesse Rath (Supergirl)

Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)In Leonardo, New Jersey, Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith) are getting by through growing marijuana in the old RST Video Store, disguised as a chicken sandwich restaurant called “Cock Smoker”. They are raided by a SWAT team and taken to court where they are appointed a lawyer (Justin Long), who makes them sign a document before the trial begins. The lawyer then convinces the judge (Craig Robinson) that their business was actually a temporary pop-up shop promoting an upcoming movie. Jay and Silent Bob win their freedom, but another trial immediately begins. The lawyer switches sides, defending a representative of Saban Films, who optioned Bluntman and Chronic. As Saban is planning a big-budget reboot, Bluntman v Chronic, the lawyer claims that Jay and Bob had legally signed away their naming rights to Saban, and thus cannot self-identify as “Jay and Silent Bob” ever again.Kevin Smith in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)Furious, Jay and Silent Bob visit Brodie Bruce (Jason Lee), whose store, Brodie’s Secret Stash, now operates at the abandoned mall. He tells them about the Bluntman and Chronic reboot, which is being directed by Kevin Smith. The film is largely completed already, but a large action scene is to be shot at the annual fan convention Chronic-Con in Hollywood. Jay and Bob have three days to get to Los Angeles to stop the film from being completed and win back their identities. When the two learn that they are on a No-Fly List, they steal an arrogant businessman’s (Ralph Garman) credit card information and order a Ride Me Now to California.Shannon Elizabeth and Harley Quinn Smith in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)They arrive in Chicago, but when the driver (Fred Armisen) confesses that he has never smoked marijuana, Jay gives him a joint to enjoy as his first. He smokes outside of Mooby’s, where he is immediately arrested while Jay and Bob are distracted. After placing an order, Jay looks at a nearby TV and recognizes Justice (Shannon Elizabeth), his former girlfriend, who is now a weatherperson. Jay and Bob find where Justice lives and pay her a visit. Justice faints in surprise and the duo are then knocked out and taken prisoner by a girl wearing a hockey mask. They awaken, tied up in Justice’s living room, where Justice tells Jay he left her heartbroken by never visiting her in jail. She has since married and given birth to their love child, named Millennium Faulken (Harley Quinn Smith). She introduces Jay to their daughter, but urges Jay to never reveal his identity to her. Outside, Millennium (known as “Milly”), revealed to be the same masked girl from earlier, introduces Jay and Silent Bob to her best friend Soapy (Treshelle Edmond), who is deaf and communicates in sign language.Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)Justice leaves for vacation with her wife Reggie (Rosario Dawson), and Milly forces Jay to take her to Hollywood with him and Bob. They reluctantly agree and take the ride-share. Milly drugs Jay and Bob with a very strong edible, which leads to a dream in which Jay receives parenting advice from Redman and Method Man, the stars of Jay’s favorite film How High. They wake up on a highway in New Orleans, where they meet Milly’s two other friends, Jihad (Aparna Brielle) and Shan Yu (Alice Wen). They tell Jay that they want to visit Chronic-Con because Shan Yu, an immigrant from China, is a huge fan of the first Bluntman and Chronic film and it is her dream to attend Chronic-Con before she has to return to China. They steal a van from a victim Milly seduced through a pedophile chatroom and drive to California. Jay, wanting to be protective of his daughter, asks about her friends. He learns that Jihad was brought to America after her brother tried to kill her for being sexually assaulted. Milly admits that her behavior is attributed to her never knowing her father.Melissa Benoist in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)Jay and Bob are abandoned once again at a Mooby’s, and are confronted by their first ride-share driver, angry at the two for ruining his life. Jay and Bob steal his car and search for the van. They find the van in a vacant area, where the Ku Klux Klan are having a rally. They have kidnapped the girls and plan to kill them. Bob steals a klan hood and passes himself off as the new Grand Dragon to distract them while Jay rescues the girls. In the van, they throw a portable toilet at the Klansmen, covering them in feces, and the group flees from the scene. They make it to California, where Jay tries to bond with Milly, still never revealing their relation per Justice’s wishes. They make it to Chronic-Con where they sneak in. Jay and Bob split with the girls, as they plan to ruin the shoot, but the girls want to be extras in the film to fulfill Shan Yu’s dream. They agree to part ways, with Jay hugging Milly and letting her know he is proud of her.Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)Jay and Bob try to sneak past a familiar security guard (Diedrich Bader), who chases them through panel after panel. They hide in an empty panel room where they are met by Holden McNeil (Ben Affleck). He has just finished recording a podcast with Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams), who is adapting Holden’s Chasing Amy comic into a Netflix original series. The two have maintained a platonic friendship over the years and Holden has donated his sperm to Alyssa and her wife (Virginia Smith) so they may have a child, whom he helps co-parent. He introduces Jay and Bob to their daughter, Amy (Logan Lee Mewes). Holden tells Jay that fatherhood gave him a new purpose in life. This inspires Jay to abort their mission and be a father to Milly.imagesHolden gives them VIP badges, which grants him and the girls access to the panel with Kevin Smith. After showing a clip of the film, Smith goes backstage to take a break before shooting the big scene. Noticing that Bob bears a great resemblance to Smith, Milly sneaks backstage and knocks out Smith, giving Bob Smith’s clothes to disguise himself. They bring Milly and Shan Yu on stage to film the scene, but Shan Yu sees through their ruse and knocks Bob unconscious, bringing out the real Kevin Smith. Bob is thrown out of the hall and Shan Yu reveals herself to be a Russian spy, bent on destroying American pop culture conventions. After Jay insults Shan Yu, she turns her gun on him, at which point he reveals to Milly that he is her father. Bob regains consciousness outside and steals a large metal “Iron Bob” suit that was to be used in the filming of the scene. Controlling the suit, Bob incites a riot at the panel and disarms Shan Yu and her henchmen.Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Jay and Silent Bob Reboot (2019)After making their way back home, Jay shows Milly the Quick Stop. Bob brings them coffee as Jay tells Milly his stories of his and Bob’s adventures, including meeting Justice. Dante Hicks (Brian O’Halloran) arrives to open Quick Stop and bemoans the fact that the steel shutters are once again jammed closed. In a post-credits scene, Jay tells Milly that for the past twenty-five years, he and Bob have been pranking Dante by jamming gum in the locks.hero-cFor starters, this is the best movie featuring Jay and Silent Bob. It’s a sequel that improves on the original in every way. If you like these movies, this one has everything you could want and more. Featuring a career-best performance by Jason Mewes, this film explores Jay’s most unlikely path in life, and does so through a screenplay written with such definite heart, it’s no wonder that not making this film was one of Kevin Smith’s regrets during his near-death experience. This film bares the souls of two of the most underrated people in Hollywood, in a way that brought a tear to my eye, something I did not expect coming into the movie. Like the sour patch kids commercials, this film does an excellent job tearing down remakes and reboots while still giving them a lot of love.

REVIEW: CLERKS II

CAST

Brian O’Halloran (Vulgar)
Jeff Anderson (Now You Know)
Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P.)
Kevin Smith (Daredevil)
Ethan Suplee (Raising Hope)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Jersey Girl)
Ben Affleck (Gone Girl)
Trevor Fehrman (Cheats)
Rosario Dawson (Sin City)
Kevin Weisman (Alias)
Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Wanda Sykes (Evan Almighty)
Kevin Michael Richardson (The Cleveland Show)
Harley Quinn Smith (Yoga Hossers)

Eleven years after the events of the first film, Dante (Brian O’Halloran) opens the Quick Stop convenience store to find that it is on fire; Randal (Jeff Anderson) had left the coffee pot on after closing the night before. As a result of the destruction of Quick Stop and the adjacent RST Video, Dante and Randal begin working at a Mooby’s fast food restaurant along with Elias (Trevor Fehrman) and their manager Becky Scott (Rosario Dawson). A year later, Dante is planning to leave his minimum wage lifestyle in favor of a family life in Florida with his fiancée Emma Bunting (Jennifer Schwalbach), whose father will provide them with a home and a business to run. This leaves Randal bitterly disappointed, who fears that with Dante moving to Florida would leave him without his best friend. Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith) have since followed Dante and Randal, and now loiter outside of Mooby’s. Jay and Silent Bob no longer do drugs after they were arrested for the possession of drugs and were sent to rehab, and become devout Christians following their release. However, the duo continue selling drugs.
Dante eventually confesses to Becky that he is worried about dancing at his wedding, so she takes him up onto the roof of the restaurant to teach him some moves. Dante soon lets go of his inhibitions and learns how to dance. When the song ends, Dante, caught up in the moment, tells Becky he loves her, and she reveals to him that she is pregnant; Dante and Becky had a one night stand on the prep table a few weeks before. Becky tells Dante not to tell anyone about the baby; however Dante tells Randal, and an angered Becky leaves when she learns that Dante told Randal.

Randal encourages Dante to leave Mooby’s in search for Becky, and in the meantime, sets up a surprise going away party for Dante. Randal hires “Kinky Kelly and the Sexy Stud,” a donkey show with a fog machine. When Dante comes back, he mistakes the fog for a fire and calls the fire department, but upon discovering that it is not a fire, he proceeds to watch the show with Randal, Jay, Silent Bob, and Elias. The group soon discovers that “Kinky Kelly” is, in fact, the donkey, while the man (Zak Knutson), whom Randal thought to be the pimp, is “The Sexy Stud”. When Becky returns, Dante confesses his love for her. As they kiss, Emma arrives. She throws her engagement ring at Becky and angrily walks off.

The fire and police departments soon arrive and discover the show. Dante, Randal, Elias, Jay, Silent Bob, and The Sexy Stud are detained and jailed. Although they are informed they will soon be released, Dante blames Randal for ruining his life and expresses his eagerness to start a new life without Randal, while Randal condemns Dante for his willingness to live his life under the standards of others and for walking out of their friendship. Amid the argument, Randal proposes that they buy the Quick Stop and re-open it, although Dante says that neither have the money to purchase the store. Jay and Silent Bob offer to lend them some money (from the royalties they collected following the events of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back) on the condition that they can hangout outside of the Quick Stop anytime they want. Randal accepts their offer, but Dante remains skeptical, prompting Randal to emotionally confess his fear of losing Dante. As a result, Dante agrees to the proposition as well, and after his release, he proposes to Becky, who accepts. After the Quick Stop and RST Video are rebuilt, Elias applies for a job and is hired at RST Video. In the very last scene, with the store open, Dante says, “Can you feel it? Today is the first day of the rest of our lives.”

If you’re a fan of adult humour (or just enjoyed the original) then this is definitely one for you. Of course, if, like me, you’re a die-hard fan of Kevin Smith’s films, you’ll get added enjoyment out of Clerks II as it’s part of his ‘Askewniverse’ where all his films are interlinked and there are plenty of references to past situations and charters.

REVIEW: JERSEY GIRL

CAST

Ben Affleck (Gone Girl)
Raquel Castro (Empire)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Now You Know)
Jennifer Lopez (The Cell)
Liv Tyler (The Incredible Hulk)
Jason Biggs (American Pie)
George Carlin (Dogma)
Stephen Root (Boardwalk Empire)
Mike Starr (Goodfellas)
S. Epatha Merkerson (Law & Order)
Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Matt Damon (The Bourne Identity)
Harley Quinn Smith (Yoga Hossers)
Will Smith (Men In Black)

Oliver “Ollie” Trinké (Ben Affleck) is a powerful media publicist in New York City whose wife, Gertrude (Jennifer Lopez), dies during childbirth in 1996. To avoid his grief, he buries himself in his work and ignores his new daughter, Gertie, while his father, Bart (George Carlin), takes a month off from work to care for her, but returns so that his son is forced to live up to his responsibility as a parent. Under the stress of a botched diaper change and a baby who will not stop crying, Ollie trashes his client Will Smith for his soon-to-be released film Independence Day in front of assembled reporters. The outburst costs him his job, so he moves in with his father in New Jersey. He eventually apologizes for ignoring his daughter, and attributes his public outburst to his grief.  Blacklisted by all of New York City’s public relations firms, Ollie has to work as a civil servant in the borough where he now lives with his father. Seven years later, in 2003, Gertie (Raquel Castro), now in elementary school, often coaxes him to rent films to watch. At the video store, they meet Maya (Liv Tyler), a graduate student and one of the store’s clerks, whose uninhibited probing into Ollie’s love life almost leads to their having casual sex. She soon becomes a part of their lives.Ben Affleck, Raquel Castro, and Paulie Litt in Jersey Girl (2004)As part of his job in the borough, Ollie speaks to a group of outraged citizens to win over their approval for a major public works project that will temporarily close a street in the neighborhood. His successful and enjoyable interaction with the crowd leads him to realize how much he misses the public relations work. He contacts Arthur (Jason Biggs), his one-time protégé, who sets up a promising interview.

The prospect of moving to New York creates tension among Ollie, Gertie, Bart, and Maya, especially when he says that his interview is on the same day as Gertie’s school talent show. She yells at him, saying she hates him and that she wishes he had died instead of her mom. He claims he hates her right back, and says she and Gertrude took his life away and he just wants it back. He immediately regrets it and tries to apologize, but the damage is done and she pushes him away and runs to her room, crying. A few days later he and Gertie finally patch things up, and she accepts the fact that they will be moving to New York. While waiting to be interviewed, he has a chance encounter with Will Smith (playing himself), the man he trashed at his public outburst years before. Smith has no idea who Ollie is, but the two spark a conversation about work and children.Liv Tyler, Ben Affleck, and Raquel Castro in Jersey Girl (2004)Ollie is able to make it to Gertie’s Sweeney Todd performance at the last moment. The film ends with him, Gertie, Bart, Maya, and the rest celebrating at the bar. He and Maya hint at possible feelings for each other before being interrupted by Gertie. He holds her and says that they are staying in New Jersey because he did not take the job. She asks why he did so if he loved it so much. He says that he thought he did, but he loved his new life more because being a father to her was the only thing that he was ever really good at.The cast are all excellent, The movie looks superb and it deserves far more recognition that it received.

REVIEW: JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK

CAST

Jason Mewes (Bottoms Up)
Kevin Smith (Daredevil)
Ben Affleck (Batman v Superman)
Jeff Anderson (Now You Know)
Brian O’Halloran (Vulgar)
Shannon Elizabeth (Scary Movie)
Eliza Dushku (Tru Calling)
Ali Larter (Heroes)
Jennifer Schwalbach Smith (Jersey Girl)
Will Ferrell (Elf)
Jason Lee (My Name Is earl)
Judd Nelson (Steel)
George Carlin (Dogma)
Carrie Fisher (Fanboys)
Seann William Scott (Welcome To The Jungle)
Jon Stewart (The Faculty)
Tracy Morgan (Cop Out)
Chris Rock (Madagascar)
Jamie Kennedy (Son of The Mask)
Wes Craven (Sceam)
Shannen Doherty (Mallrats)
Mark Hamill (The Flash)
Marc Blucas (Bufy: The Vampire Slayer)
Harley Quinn Smith (Yoga Hossers)
Diedrich Bader (American Hosuewife)
Scott Mosier (Clerks)
Ever Carradine (Runaways)
Bryan Johnson (Vulgar)
Renée Humphrey (Fun)
Joey Lauren Adams (Harvard man)
Dwight Ewell (Dogma)
Alanis Morissette (Top Wing)
James Van Der Beek (Dawnsons Creek)
Jason Biggs (American Pie)
Matt Damon (The Bourne Identity)
Scott William Winters (OZ)

Jay-and-Silent-Bob-Strike-Back-Main-ReviewAfter getting a restraining order from Randal Graves (Clerks) for selling drugs outside the Quick Stop, Jay and Silent Bob find out from Brodie Bruce (Mallrats) that Bluntman and Chronic, the comic book based on their likenesses, has been adapted into a film in production by Miramax Films. In response, the two see Holden McNeil (Chasing Amy), the co-writer of Bluntman and Chronic for the royalties of the film. However, Holden tells Jay and Silent Bob that he sold his part of the creative and publishing rights of the comic over to his former friend Banky Edwards. Upon learning of the film, as well as the negative reaction it has received so far on the Internet, the two set out on a quest to Hollywood, to prevent the film from being made and tainting their image, or at the very least receive the money from the royalties owed to them.
On the way, they befriend an animal liberation group, consisting of four women: Justice, Sissy, Missy, and Chrissy; and one man, Brent, who they had picked up for the cause. It is revealed that the organization is a front; Brent is a patsy, intended as a diversion by freeing an animal from a testing laboratory while the girls rob a diamond depository nearby. Jay tricks Brent and throws him out of the van in order to get closer to Justice, with whom he is smitten. Justice, who becomes close to Jay and Silent Bob (particularly the former), reluctantly accepts the two as the new patsies. While the girls are robbing the diamond depository they accidentally set off the alarm, prompting them to break the glass and steal the diamonds. While this is going on Jay and Silent Bob free the animals and take an orangutan named Suzanne with them. They escape outside to see the police arriving and the van exploding, which they believe has killed the girls.Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)Jay then takes the orangutan with him as a memorial to Justice. Quickly afterwards, Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (whose name is taken from the three characters in the TV show Land of the Lost: Marshal, Will and Holly) shows up at the scene. Blinded to the diamond heist, he claims to have jurisdiction because of the large number of animals that escaped. He learns that all the animals have been recovered except for the orangutan. The officers then find and watch footage of a video Sissy recorded of Jay making remarks about “the clit”, claiming to be “the Clit commander.” The literature accompanying the tape says that “Clit” is an acronym for Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-Dwellers. Willenholly blindly finds this as an act of terrorism and calls for police support to hunt down what he considered “the two most dangerous men on the planet.”
When the officers later have the trio cornered inside a diner and threaten to open fire, Jay and Silent Bob dress the orangutan as a child and walk out, claiming that they want to get their “son” out of the danger zone. Willenholly, thinking about the political repercussions of arresting a gay couple, decides to let them leave, but he quickly realizes his mistake and resumes the chase. When they jump into a sewer system, only Willenholly himself follows them while the other police officers, led by the Sheriff, leave him, and he is soon tricked into jumping off of a dam. Having escaped the law, Jay and Silent Bob once again return to their quest to reach Hollywood, only to have Suzanne taken by a Hollywood animal acting agency car. Now on a quest to get their ape back and to clear their names, the two once again embark to Hollywood.

On their arrival in Hollywood, the two find themselves in the background of an E! News newscast (ironically about their threat against Miramax on the Internet) that Justice is watching. While Justice takes the diamonds and goes to Hollywood to set things right, Marshal Willenholly learns of their mission to reach Hollywood and leaves to find them. After a long chase with studio security and reclaiming Suzanne from a fictional Scream 4 in production, Jay and Silent Bob end up in Jason Biggs and James Van Der Beek’s dressing room, where they quickly realize that these are the actors that will play the roles of Bluntman and Chronic. Suzanne beats both of them up effortlessly and Jay and Silent Bob assume the roles of their characters. Production staff throw them on stage with racist director Chaka Luther King, and they must engage in a duel with Mark Hamill playing a comic book supervillain called Cocknocker. jaysilentbob4png.pngEventually Willenholly arrives to capture Jay and Silent Bob, but Justice arrives to save them. Justice admits that the CLIT organization was not real and that the two were used as a diversion while she, Missy, Sissy and Chrissy, were stealing jewels. As the rest of jewel thieves arrive, a climactic final battle ensues, after which Jay and Silent Bob get their royalties to the film from Banky, and Justice turns herself and her former team in to Willenholly in exchange for a shorter sentence and letting Jay and Silent Bob go.  The film ends with Jay and Silent Bob spending their royalty to locate everyone who expressed negative opinions on the internet about the movie and characters, ranging from kids to clergy, and traveling to their towns to beat them up. The scene then cuts to everyone leaving a movie theater, having just watched the Bluntman and Chronic movie and expressing negative reception: Hooper X calls the film a “one 90-minute-long gay joke.” Jay and Silent Bob, with Justice and Willenholly, then go across the street to enjoy a performance from Morris Day and The Time. After the credits, God closes the View Askewniverse book.I love Jay and Silent Bob,Kevin Smith is an amazing director/writer and since arriving on the scene with Clerks the adventures on the king of stoners Jay and Bob have got better and better. This film is just laugh out loud gags from start to finish with so many massive stars putting in cameos including Chris Rock who is brilliant in his small role in the film It also features Will Ferrell as a wildlife marshall with half a brain. A must have for Kevin Smith fans and comedy fans alike

REVIEW: DOGMA

CAST

Matt Damon (Oceans Eleven)
Ben Affleck (Gone Girl)
George Carlin (Jersey Girl)
Brian O’Halloran (Clerks)
Linda Fiorentino (Men In Black)
Janeane Garofalo (Wet Hot American Summer)
Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Alan Rickman (Harry Potter)
Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P.)
Kevin Smith (Daredevil)
Jeff Anderson (Now You Know)
Chris Rock (Death at A Funeral)
Salma Hayek (Traffic)
Dwight Ewell (Chasing Amy)
Ethan Suplee (Fanboys)
Alanis Morissette (Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back)
Bryan Johnson (Vulgar)
Scott Mosier (Clerks)

Bartleby (Affleck) and Loki (Damon) are fallen angels, banished for eternity from Heaven to Wisconsin for insubordination after an inebriated Loki (with Bartleby’s encouragement) resigned as the Angel of Death. When the trendy Cardinal Glick (Carlin) announces that he is rededicating his cathedral in Red Bank, New Jersey in the image of the “Buddy Christ”, the angels see their salvation: Anyone entering the cathedral during the rededication festivities will receive a plenary indulgence; all punishment for sin will be remitted, permitting direct entry into Heaven.[5] They receive encouragement from an unexpected source: Azrael (Lee), a demon, once a Muse, also banished from Heaven (for refusing to take sides in the battle between God and Lucifer); and the Stygian Triplets (Barret Hackney, Jared Pfennigwerth, and Kitao Sakurai), three teenage hoodlums who serve Azrael in Hell.
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Bethany Sloane (Fiorentino)—a downhearted, infertile, divorced abortion clinic employee—attends a service at her church in Illinois. Donations are being solicited to help a hospitalized, comatose homeless man—known only as John Doe Jersey (Cort)—who was beaten senseless outside a skee ball arcade in New Jersey by the Triplets. Later that day, Metatron (Rickman)—the Voice of God—appears to Bethany in a pillar of fire and declares that she is the last relative of Jesus Christ. He explains that Bartleby and Loki cannot be allowed to succeed: By re-entering Heaven, they would be overruling the word of God, thereby disproving the fundamental concept of God’s omnipotence, and nullifying all of existence. She, together with two prophets who will appear to her, must stop the angels and save the universe.
Now a target, Bethany is attacked by the Triplets, and is rescued by the two foretold prophets—drug-dealing stoners named Jay and Silent Bob (Mewes and Smith). Azrael then summons a Golgothan (a vile creature made of human excrement) to find and kill Bethany, but Silent Bob immobilizes it with aerosol deodorant. Other allies in Bethany’s mission are Rufus (Rock), the thirteenth apostle (never mentioned in the Bible, he says, because he is black), and Serendipity (Hayek), the fickle Muse of creative Inspiration, now working in a strip club in search of inspiration of her own. On a train to New Jersey, a drunken Bethany reveals her mission to Bartleby, who tries to kill her; a melee ensues, and Silent Bob throws the angels off the train. Bartleby and Loki now realize the potential consequences of their scheme; and while Loki wants no part of destroying all existence, Bartleby remains angry at God for his expulsion—and for granting free will to humans while demanding servitude of angels—and to Loki’s horror, resolves to proceed.
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Bethany and her allies discuss the situation: Who is really behind the angels’ plan, and why has God not intervened? Metatron explains that God’s whereabouts are unknown; he disappeared while visiting New Jersey in human form to play skee ball. At the cathedral, the group attempts in vain to persuade Cardinal Glick to cancel the celebration; Jay angrily steals Glick’s golf club.
At a nearby bar, Azrael captures Bethany and her protectors and reveals that he is the mastermind behind the angels’ plan—he would rather not exist at all than spend eternity in Hell. Silent Bob kills Azrael with Glick’s blessed golf club. Serendipity tells Bethany to bless the bar sink, turning its contents to holy water, and Jay, Rufus and Serendipity drown the Triplets in it. Bartleby and Loki reach the cathedral; Bartleby kills all the celebrants, and when Loki attempts to stop him he tears off Loki’s wings, making him mortal. When the protectors block Bartleby’s entry into the church, Bartleby kills Loki and fights off Rufus, Serendipity and Bob, but as he flees, Jay shoots off his wings with a machine gun.
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During his latest of several attempts to seduce Bethany, Jay mentions John Doe Jersey. Realizing that the homeless man is the mortal form that God assumed, Bethany and Bob race to the hospital. Bethany disconnects John Doe’s life support, liberating God, but killing herself. As Bartleby again attempts to enter the cathedral, God manifests before him as a woman (Morissette), and kills him with the power of her voice. When Bob arrives with Bethany’s lifeless body, God resurrects her and conceives a child within her womb. God, Metatron, Rufus, and Serendipity return to Heaven, leaving Bethany and the two prophets to reflect on what has happened.
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Never really showing its age, this film can be an awesome introduction to Kevin Smith’s world. Highly recommended.

REVIEW: CHASING AMY

CAST
Ben Affleck (Argo)
Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Joey Lauren Adams (Harvard Man)
Dwight Ewell (Dogma)
Scott Mosier (Clerks)
Casey Affleck (Gone Baby Gone)
Ethan Suplee (Fanboys)
Brian O’Halloran (Vulgar)
Matt Damon (Elysium)
Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P.)
Kevin Smith (Scream 3)
Illeana Douglas (Ugly Betty)
Joey Lauren Adams stars as Alyssa JonesHolden McNeil (Ben Affleck) and Banky Edwards (Jason Lee) are comic book artists and lifelong friends. Holden is the friendly, more mild-mannered half of the duo; Banky, meanwhile, is the loud and fiery half. Everything is going well for them until they meet fellow comic book artist Alyssa Jones (Joey Lauren Adams) at a comic book convention in New York where they are promoting their comic Bluntman and Chronic. Holden is attracted to Alyssa, but soon learns that she is attracted to women. The two begin hanging out, and a deep friendship develops. Eventually, Holden is no longer able to contain his feelings, and confesses his love to Alyssa. She is initially angry with him, but that night, the two begin a romantic relationship.
This new development worsens the tension between Holden and Banky, who hates and mistrusts Alyssa and is disturbed by her and Holden’s relationship. Banky investigates and uncovers dirt on Alyssa’s past, and he reports to Holden that Alyssa participated in a threesome with two guys during high school, which gave her the nickname “Finger Cuffs”. Holden is deeply upset by this revelation, having previously believed that he is the first man Alyssa had ever slept with. He angrily confronts Alyssa while attending a hockey game, and clumsily attempts baiting her into confessing. During a tearful argument, she tells Holden about her “many” youthful sexual experimentations. She apologizes for letting him believe that he was the only man she had been with. However, she refuses to apologize for her past, and Holden leaves feeling disillusioned and furious.

Later, during lunch with Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith), Silent Bob reveals that he was once in a relationship similar to Holden’s. Despite the fact that he was in love with his girlfriend, Amy, his neurosis about her adventurous sexual past caused him to sabotage the relationship and leave her. Angry at himself for letting her go, he has “spent every day since then chasing Amy, so to speak.” Moved by Silent Bob’s story, Holden devises a plan to fix both his relationship with Alyssa and his estranged friendship with Banky. He invites them both over and tells Alyssa that he would like to get over her past and remain her boyfriend. He also tells Banky that he realizes that Banky is in love with him—kissing him passionately to prove the point. Holden suggests a threesome. Though initially shocked, Banky agrees to participate, whereas Alyssa explains to Holden that it will not save their relationship. Before leaving, she states that she loves him, but she will not be his “whore.” Banky also leaves the apartment, instantly ending their friendship.Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams in Chasing Amy (1997)One year later, both Banky and Holden are busy promoting their own respective comics at a convention in New York. It is revealed that Holden has dissolved their partnership over Bluntman and Chronic, leaving the viewer with the assumption that he sold the publishing and creative rights over to Banky (which is corroborated in the beginning of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back). Banky smiles sadly at seeing his old friend, who silently congratulates him for his success on his own comic. Banky gestures over to a booth hosted by Alyssa, and provides wordless encouragement to Holden to go talk to her. He has a brief, quietly emotional conversation with Alyssa, and gives her a copy of Chasing Amy, his new comic based on their failed relationship. After Holden leaves, Alyssa’s new girlfriend (Virginia Smith) arrives and asks who she was talking to. A shaken, misty-eyed Alyssa feigns indifference and replies, “Oh, just some guy I knew.”

Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams in Chasing Amy (1997)Seldom do you see a movie that mixes humour and love in such a way that it both makes you wet yourself laughing and feel a strong connection with the plot.  The plot is pretty straight forward but the quality of the writing is the thing that sets it a part from the rest of the films of its ink. Affleck and Adams pull off terrific performances as the lovers, Affleck in particular performs one of the best roles he has ever done on  film. But Jason Lee steals the show once again (much like Jeff Anderson in Clerks) as the jealous best friend.

 

REVIEW: MALLRATS

CAST
Shannen Doherty (Heathers)
Jeremy London (Party of Five)
Jason Lee (My Name Is Earl)
Claire Forlani (Antitrust)
Ben Affleck (Gone Girl)
Joey Lauren Adams (Harvard Man)
Renée Humphrey (Drawing Flies)
Jason Mewes (R.S.V.P.)
Ethan Suplee (Raising Hope)
Stan Lee (The Avengers)
Priscilla Barnes (The Devils Rejects)
Michael Rooker (Guardians of The Galaxy)
Brian O’Halloran (Vulgar)
Kevin Smith (Daredevil)
Sven-Ole Thorsen (Gladiator)
Bryan Johnson (Vulgar)
Scott Mosier (Clerks)
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The day prior to the events of Clerks, college student T.S. Quint (Jeremy London) is preparing for a trip to Universal Studios in Florida with Brandi Svenning (Claire Forlani), during which he plans to propose to her; however, Brandi tells him she cannot go because she has volunteered to fill in as a contestant on Truth or Date, her father’s dating game show. They argue over this and eventually break up. T.S. turns to his best friend Brodie Bruce (Jason Lee), who has also broken up with his girlfriend, Rene Mosier (Shannen Doherty), after having an argument, and Brodie suggests the two might find comfort at the local mall.
Brodie and T.S. discover Truth or Date is being filmed at the same mall, through their friend Willam (Ethan Suplee, who throughout the movie tries to see a sailboat in a Magic Eye poster), and ask local drug dealers Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith, respectively) to destroy the show’s stage, a task for which they devise elaborate but ultimately unsuccessful plans. These actions result in the two being pursued by mall security guard LaFours (Sven-Ole Thorsen), but they are able to escape him. Brodie finds out Rene began a relationship with his enemy Shannon Hamilton (Ben Affleck), a clothing store manager who hates Brodie because of his “lack of a shopping agenda.” Brodie confronts Rene to find out more about her relationship with Shannon, and the two have sex in an elevator. Brodie is later abducted and attacked by Shannon, who intends to have sex with Rene in a “very uncomfortable place”, a reference to anal sex. (As a running joke, this is interpreted as the “back of a Volkswagen”.) As a result of this incident, Jay and Silent Bob assault the mall’s Easter Bunny, under the incorrect assumption that he attacked Brodie.
Brandi’s father, Jared (Michael Rooker), who is aware of Brodie and T.S’s presence at the mall, has the two arrested on false charges of drug possession. Jay and Silent Bob are able to rescue Brodie and T.S. and are once again able to evade LaFours. Meanwhile, Brodie and T.S. seek refuge at a local flea market, where they meet fortune teller Ivannah (Priscilla Barnes). T.S. decides to win Brandi back and the two return to the mall.
Before the show begins, Brodie receives advice on romance from Stan Lee, who was visiting the mall. After this, Brodie requests that his friend Tricia Jones retrieve footage of her having sex with Shannon. Tricia herself was doing a project in which she had sex with a number of male adults, despite being only 15 years old, for a book about the sex drive of men. Meanwhile, T.S. also persuades Jay to get two of the game show contestants stoned, which allow him and Brodie to replace them on Truth or Date. The initial plan was all three contestants but the third one, Gil Hicks, showed up late, and Brodie and T.S. must go on with him.
During the show (which Brodie continuously heckles by telling bizarre stories), Brandi recognizes the voices of Brodie and T.S., and an on-air argument between the three ensues. Brodie tells Brandi that T.S. had spent all day trying to win her back. T.S. then proposes to Brandi, which she accepts. As the police arrive to arrest T.S. and Brodie after the show is over, Silent Bob plays a sex tape of Shannon and Tricia, resulting in his arrest for statutory rape. Brodie and Rene renew their relationship as a result.
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The conclusion reveals that T.S. marries Brandi, Tricia’s book is a bestseller, Shannon is imprisoned, Willam eventually does see the sailboat, and Brodie becomes the host of The Tonight Show (with Rene as his bandleader) after impressing the show’s producers with his stage banter. Jay and Silent Bob are also shown with a monkey named Suzanne, which promises to be “another story” (told in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back).
This film is excellent, and it’s easy to see why Kevin Smith and his Jay and Silent Bob characters are such cult figures. Very funny from start to finish.