CHRISTMAS 2017 REVIEW: JINGLE ALL THE WAY

CAST

Arnold Schwarezenegger (Predator)
Sinbad (American Dad)
Phil Hartman (Small Soldiers)
Rita Wilson (The Bonfire of The Vanities)
Jake Lloyd (Star Wars – Episode I)
Martin Mull (Killers)
James Belushi (Red Heat)
Richard Moll (Scary Movie 2)
Danny Woodburn (Watchmen)
Alan Blumenfeld (Heroes)
Phil Morris (Smallville)
Curtis Armstrong (American Dad)
Yeardley Smith (The Simpsons)

Howard Langston is a workaholic mattress salesman with no time for his wife, Liz, and his 9-year-old son, Jamie — especially when compared to next door “superdad” divorcee, Ted Maltin, who continually puts Howard in a bad light. After missing Jamie’s karate class graduation, Howard resolves to redeem himself by fulfilling Jamie’s ultimate Christmas wish: getting an action figure toy of Turbo-Man, a wildly popular TV superhero. On Christmas Eve, Howard sets out to buy a Turbo-Man doll at a store, telling Liz that he already has one at work that he must retrieve.Along the way, Howard meets Myron Larabee, a postal worker dad with a rival ambition, and the two soon become bitter competitors in their race for the action figure. During his search, Howard runs his car into the parked police motorcycle of Officer Hummel, who earlier pulled him over and gave him a ticket. After several failed attempts to find the toy in a store, Howard attempts to buy a Turbo-Man from a Mall of America Santa, who is actually the leader of a band of counterfeit toy makers. When he accuses the Santa of undermining the values of Christmas (having been ripped off and sold a defective toy that falls apart the moment he opened the package), Howard ends up in a brawl with the gang. He narrowly escapes when the police raid their warehouse and gets out by posing as an undercover detective using a toy badge.Later, Howard arrives at Mickey’s Diner and uses their phone to call home. As he tried to get a hold of Liz, he unintentionally scolds Jamie on the phone over Turbo-Man. Jamie, in turn, rebukes his father about how he never keeps his promises, and hangs up. Liz overhears the argument and becomes disappointed in her husband. Howard then encounters Myron at the diner. As they sat down and talk, Myron tells Howard about the time when his father was unable to get him a Johnny Seven OMA toy on Christmas. They hear on the KQRS radio station that there is a trivia competition in which the winner will receive a Turbo-Man doll. They rush to the studio, with Howard breaking the door to the recording booth, under the impression that the DJ has a Turbo-Man doll in the studio. After Myron threatens to blow up the studio with a package he claims is a mail bomb, he and Howard find out that whoever wins the competition will get a doll “eventually.” The package is revealed to be a music box. The police, led by Officer Hummell, arrive in the studio, and Myron bluffs the police into backing off by threatening them with another “mail bomb,” allowing him and Howard to escape. Hummell confidently rips open the package and it explodes, leaving his face covered in soot.After his car is stripped by thieves, Howard is ultimately forced to return home empty-handed. Outside his home, he sees Ted in his house placing the star on his tree. In anger, Howard breaks into Ted’s house and steals the Turbo-Man doll from under his tree. He realizes that he is stealing from a child and changes his mind. He is attacked by Ted’s pet reindeer, accidentally setting one of Ted’s decorations on fire, and kicking it out the window trying to stamp it out, drawing the attention of Ted and Liz. Liz, having had enough, leaves with Jamie, Ted, and his son Johnny to the local Christmas parade; Howard follows, aiming to make amends.At the parade, Ted makes a pass at Liz and she hits him with a thermos of eggnog. Howard witnesses Ted’s actions from a distance, and on his way to confront him, he runs into Officer Hummel, spilling his hot coffee all over him. Howard runs and Hummell chases him, and Howard enters a room where he is mistaken as the replacement actor for Turbo-Man. As the “real” Turbo-Man, he presents the coveted limited-edition Turbo-Man doll to his son. Before he recognizes his father, Jamie is chased by Myron, who has dressed as Turbo-Man’s arch enemy Dementor (having caught, tied up and gagged the real actor). As the crowd assumes this is all part of the show, Howard attempts to rescue his son by utilizing the Turbo-Man suit’s equipment.Howard catches Jamie as he falls from a roof and reveals himself to his son. Officer Hummell gives the doll to Jamie, then asks Howard (as Turbo-Man) to join the police force, saluting him. Howard turns and reveals himself and Hummell is dumbfounded, as Howard apologizes for all the trouble. Myron is arrested while ranting about having to explain his failure to get the Turbo-Man toy for his son. Jamie decides to give the doll to him, telling Howard that he has “the real Turbo-Man at home.” Later, Howard puts the star on the top of his tree and celebrates Christmas with Jamie and Liz. Liz commends Howard for everything he’s done just to make Jamie happy, and then asks Howard what he got her for Christmas. Howard stares in shock at the camera before the fadeout.This film shows the insanity of Christmas. Two parents, who waited untill the last minute to buy a popular gift for their child, spend all of Christmas Eve trying to come up with the toy. They were vicious and violent with each other in their efforts to secure the piece of plastic junk for their little darling. This picture shows just how goofy people act at this time of year. Instead of preparing, most folks wait till it is too late; all in the name of Christmas spirit.  How true of real life. A funny movie on one hand, a tragedy on the other. Look and learn.

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REVIEW: PREDATOR

CAST
Arnold Schwarzenegger (Commando)
Carl Weathers (Rocky)
Kevin Peter Hall (Harry and The Hendersons)
Elpidia Carrillo (Seven Pounds)
Bill Duke (Fastlane)
Jesse Ventura (The Running Man)
Sonny Landham (48 Hrs.)
Richard Chaves (Witness)
R.G. Armstrong (Children of The Corn)
Shane Black (Robocop 3)
Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer and his six-man team, consisting of himself, operators Mac Eliot, Billy Sole, and Blain Cooper, demolitions and explosives expert Jorge “Poncho” Ramírez and radioman Rick Hawkins, are tasked by the CIA with spearheading the rescue of an official held hostage by insurgents in Val Verde. CIA Agent George Dillon, a former commando and an old friend of Dutch’s, is assigned to accompany and supervise the team despite Dutch’s reservations. The team is taken to a remote jungle and begins the mission.
They soon discover the wreckage of another chopper and three skinned corpses, whom Dutch identifies as U.S. Army Special Forces he once trained. Pressing on, the team reaches the insurgent camp and kills every single guerilla, including a Soviet intelligence officer searching through top-secret CIA documents. Dillon, confronted by a suspicious Dutch, admits the mission was a setup to retrieve intelligence from captured operatives and that the dead unit disappeared weeks earlier in a failed rescue. Upon capturing a female guerilla named Anna, the group proceeds to extraction, unaware that they are being stalked by a nearly invisible creature using thermal imaging.
Hawkins chases a fleeing Anna when they are both suddenly confronted by the creature. The unarmed Anna is spared, but Hawkins is swiftly killed and dragged away. Dutch organizes a manhunt for his body, during which Cooper is killed by the creature’s plasma weapon, enraging Mac. An ensuing firefight fails to draw out the creature, so the unit regroups and questions Anna, learning that their stalker is an unknown creature locals call “El cazador trofeo de los hombres”, meaning “The hunter who makes trophies of men.” The next day, an attempt to entrap the creature fails, leaving Poncho badly injured. Mac and Dillon pursue the alien, but it outwits and kills them both.
The survivors try to escape, but the creature catches up, killing Billy and Poncho, and wounding Dutch. Realizing the creature only targets armed and hostile prey, Dutch sends Anna to the chopper alone and unarmed. While being pursued by the alien, Dutch slides down a hill into a river, goes over a waterfall and ends up crawling through a patch of mud, only for the creature to catch up to him; its cloaking device malfunctions in the water, allowing Dutch to finally see his hidden enemy. The alien, though standing a few feet from Dutch, does not see him and moves on. This helps him realize that the mud he is now covered in is acting as camouflage by cooling his skin and blocking his body’s heat signature from the alien’s thermal sensor. Now seeking to avenge his men, Dutch uses his knowledge of jungle warfare to craft a series of traps. Covered in mud and armed with improvised weapons, he lures the creature in with a war cry.
Utilizing his preparations, Dutch beats the alien at its own game, disabling its cloaking device and inflicting minor injuries. However, the creature rallies itself and finally corners him. Acknowledging Dutch as a worthy foe, the alien discards its mask and plasma weapon, and challenges him to a hand-to-hand fight, where it easily has the upper hand. After being brutally beaten, Dutch narrowly defeats the creature by using a counterweight to crush it. Standing over the crippled alien, he demands to know what it is, but the creature just mimics his question in garbled English before activating a self-destruct device on its wrist, laughing sinisterly as the count down begins. Dutch flees and takes cover just before the self-destruct device explodes in a mushroom cloud. Dutch, the last man standing, is picked up shortly afterwards by his commander, General Phillips, and finds Anna in the helicopter.
The effects are great, the acting is good and the story is cool too. This is a sci-fi action movie that isn’t just full of cheap explosions. It really does have great atmosphere. Everyone who likes sci-fi and/or action movies should like this.

REVIEW: RED HEAT

CAST

Arnold Schwarzenegger (Red Sonja)
Jim Belushi (K-9)
Ed O’Ross (Dick Tracy)
Peter Boyle (Everybody Loves Raymond)
Gina Gershon (Killer Joe)
Laurence Fishburne (Hannibal)
Richard Bright (The Godfather)
Brent Jennings (Moneyball)
Sven-Ole Thorsen (Terminator 2)
Pruitt Taylor Vince (Heroes Reborn)
Brion James (Enemy Mine)
Peter Jason (48 Hours)

Christine Carlson (Linda Blair), an American college student, travels to West Germany to visit her fiancé Mike (William Ostrander), who is serving in the US Army there. She tries to convince him to marry her promptly, but he chooses to delay marriage in order to re-enlist. Distraught by Mike’s decision, Christine takes a late-night walk where she witnesses a kidnapping by the East German Stasi and gets kidnapped herself as well. She is transported to the East Zone, where she is brutally interrogated by the Stasi, forced to admit to false charges of espionage, and thrown into a women’s prison with the common criminals, including the gang leader Sofia (Sylvia Kristel), who is the prisoners’ “top bitch” and has de facto control of the entire prison population. Sofia takes pleasure in brutally tormenting and harassing Christine, until the latter loses her patience and fights Sofia in a no-holds-barred brawl. Meanwhile, Mike is determined to free his beloved, and tries to get the US Army and the West German BND to help him. At first they refuse, but ultimately they reluctantly go along with his plans and help him free Christine.Not the funniest comedy or the best action movie, not even the best movie featuring either of the leads, but undemanding fun from the late 80s.

REVIEW: RAW DEAL

CAST

Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator)
Kathryn Harrold (The Slender)
Darren McGavin (Riverboat)
Sam Wanamaker (Wild Justice)
Paul Shenar (Scarface)
Steven Hill (The Firm)
Joe Regalbuto (Murphy Brown)
Robert Davi (Maniac Cop 2)
Sven-Ole Thorsen (Mallrats)
Ed Lauter (Cujo)
Dick Durock (Swamp Thing)
Leon Rippy (Stargate)

On December 16, 1985, in a remote wooded cabin, a mob informant is under protection by the FBI. They are ambushed by a hit squad who brutally slaughter the bodyguards and the witness. One of the agents killed is Blair Shannon, son of FBI Agent Harry Shannon (Darren McGavin), who vows revenge. After capturing a man posing as a motorcycle cop, small-town sheriff Mark Kaminsky (Arnold Schwarzenegger) goes home to his alcoholic wife Amy (Blanche Baker), who resents what their lives have been reduced to and in a drunken fit throws a cake at him. Kaminsky once worked for the FBI, but five years ago he brutally beat a suspect who “molested, murdered, and mutilated” a young girl. He was given the option to “resign or be prosecuted” by ambitious prosecutor Marvin Baxter (Joe Regalbuto), who is now Special Federal Prosecutor heading up a committee investigating the dealings of Luigi Patrovita (Sam Wanamaker), the strongest of the Chicago Outfit Dons.Shannon calls Kaminsky in with an unsanctioned and possibly illegal assignment: to infiltrate Patrovita’s organization and “tear it up”. Harry cannot do anything officially, and the FBI has a leak who has been getting agents killed, which is why Kaminsky must go in secret. Harry dangles the prospect of Kaminsky being reinstated with the FBI, leading to Kaminsky faking his own death in a chemical plant explosion and posing as convicted felon Joseph P. Brenner. He manages to get an audience with Patrovita’s right-hand man Paulo Rocca (Paul Shenar), and convinces them of his worth by harassing Martin Lamanski (Steven Hill), a rival mob boss who is trying to move in on his former boss Patrovita’s territory. While at Patrovita’s casino, hidden in a basement level of a high class hotel, he makes the acquaintance of Monique (Kathryn Harrold), who works for Rocca’s top lieutenant Max Keller (Robert Davi).Kaminsky continues to work his way into the good graces of the Patrovita family, including devising a plan that recovers $100 million of heroin and cash seized by the feds from one of Patrovita’s hideouts and simultaneously assisting in Lamanski’s assassination. Keller isn’t convinced that ‘Brenner’ is who he says and manages to find proof of the deception, showing Kaminsky’s photo to a police informant who previously arrested the real Brenner. The leak the FBI has been looking for is revealed to be Baxter, who is forced to stay close to Patrovita. Kaminsky accompanies Keller to a cemetery for a hit job, but discovers that the target is Harry Shannon, which causes him to blow his cover. Kaminsky and Shannon manage to kill Keller and another hit man, but Shannon is severely wounded in the exchange.Kaminsky escapes, assisted by Monique (who has grown fond of him). He tells her to go to the airport and wait for him. He then suits up, gathers an arsenal of firearms and raids one of Patrovita’s gravel pits, killing everyone (to the tune of “Satisfaction” by the Rolling Stones) and stealing a large amount of drug money. He then sets off for Patrovita’s casino, where he embarks on a killing spree, single-handedly wiping out all his soldiers, including the men directly responsible for the murder of Blair and his fellow FBI agents. Rocca and Patrovita retreat to a back room, but Rocca is cut down in a barrage of gunfire. Patrovita flees into an office pleading for his life, but Kaminsky mercilessly guns him down. On his way out, he encounters a whimpering Baxter and offers him a gun with the same line Baxter gave him five years earlier: “Resign, or be prosecuted. Any way you want it.” Kaminsky starts to walk off, and when Baxter attempts to shoot him, Kaminsky turns and shoots Baxter dead in self-defense. After driving to the airport, Kaminsky hands a duffel bag containing $250,000 in cash to Monique and gets her on a chartered plane, telling her she is free and can start a new life with no obligations to anyone.The epilogue shows Kaminsky visiting Shannon, who was crippled as a result of the gunshot wound to his back and has been refusing any therapy or rehabilitation. Kaminsky has been reinstated into the FBI, and his reunion with Amy has now led to her being pregnant. Kaminsky wants Shannon to be godfather to the child, but only if Shannon will attempt to walk. Shannon cannot walk easily at first and angrily asks Kaminsky to leave him be, but then Kaminsky tells Shannon he must show the same strength that made him a good father to Blair. Inspired by the love for his son and his gratitude to Kaminsky, Shannon makes a strong effort and eventually manages to walk a few feet on his own, embraced by a smiling Kaminsky.ttytytytyty.pngThis movie gives you everything you want to see in a true action movie from the Hero at his weakest to his strongest. Typically, action movies aren’t awarded Oscars because the character development is poor. Most of the characters die before you really get to know them in some of the films we see. In this film, Arnold accomplishes character development as well as action in the same movie. Although, some of the characters are stereotypical gangsters, his interaction with them helps solidify their presence in the movie. The movie does rank in the same category as Commando but if you love watching his movies, then this one should be a real treat!

REVIEW: TWINS

 

CAST

Arnold Schwarzenegger (Hercules In New York)
Danny DeVito (Batman Returns)
Kelly Preston (Jerry Maguire)
Chloe Webb (Sid and Nancy)
Bonnie Bartlett (Firefly)
Trey Wilson (Raising Arizona)
Marshall Bell (Starship Troopers)
David Carusco (CSI: Miami)
Maury Chaykin (Entrapment)
Tony Jay (Lois & Clark)
Tom McCleister (Million Dollar Baby)
Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (Mortal Kombat)
Sven-Ole Thorsen (Mallrats)
Heather Graham (The Hangover)

Julius Benedict and Vincent Benedict are fraternal twins, the result of a secret experiment carried out at a genetics laboratory to combine the DNA of six fathers to produce the perfect child. To the surprise of the scientists, the embryo split and twins were born. The mother, Mary Ann Benedict, was told that Julius died at birth, and not told about Vincent at all. Vincent was placed in an orphanage run by nuns in Los Angeles and believes his mother abandoned him. With no one but himself to rely on, Vincent escaped from the orphanage and became an indebted, small-time crook. Julius was raised on a South Pacific island by Professor Werner, where he engages in intense physical training and extensive study. Each twin is unaware of the other’s existence.On Julius’s 35th birthday, Julius discovers he has a twin brother. With Professor Werner’s blessing, Julius proceeds to the United States to find his brother. Julius discovers that Vincent lives in L.A. and eventually tracks him down in jail for unpaid parking tickets.Julius bails Vincent out, but Vincent does not believe his story and abandons him in a car park. Julius pursues Vincent to his workplace and finds him being beaten up by Morris Klane, a loan shark enforcer. Julius subdues Morris, earning Vincent’s trust and respect. He later meets Vincent’s girlfriend Linda Mason and enters a romantic relationship with her sister Marnie. Over dinner, Vincent shows Julius a document he stole from the orphanage that shows their mother is actually still alive, but believing that she abandoned him at birth, Vincent shows no interest in finding her. Julius tracks one of their six fathers to the address on the document. The father directs Julius to Mitchell Traven in New Mexico, the other professor who headed the experimentVincent steals a late-model Cadillac Sedan de Ville for his chop shop contact and finds a prototype fuel injector in the trunk that was to be delivered to an industrialist, Beetroot McKinley, in Houston, for five million dollars. Vincent decides to pose as the delivery man and deliver the fuel injector himself so he can collect the money and pay off his debts. He reluctantly allows Julius, Linda and Marnie to accompany him to New Mexico to find professor Traven. Mr. Webster, the real delivery man, begins pursuing Vincent. In New Mexico, Traven reveals the truth to the twins and directs them to Santa Fe, where their mother lives in an art colony. On the way to Santa Fe, the twins are accosted by the Klane brothers, but they fight them off for the last time. At the art colony in Santa Fe, a painter informs Julius and Vincent that their mother has died. They leave, unaware that the painter is in fact their mother, Mary Ann, who didn’t believe their story.Vincent bitterly heads to Houston alone to deliver the prototype to McKinley, leaving Julius and the girls behind in New Mexico for their safety. Julius chases after Vincent, and finds him seconds after the exchange with McKinley. Webster appears and kills McKinley, demanding the money from Vincent. Julius intercepts Webster in order for Vincent to escape, but Vincent returns and agrees to give Webster the money to save Julius. Webster decides to kill them anyway for seeing his face, but Vincent kills him by unloading a heavy chain onto his head and burying him. Julius and Vincent return both the prototype and $4 million (Vincent skimming $1 million), and use that along with the reward to start a consulting firm. Their publicity reaches the art colony and Mary Ann learns that her sons are alive. She violently confronts Traven for concealing the truth and tracks Julius and Vincent down to their workplace. Sometime later, Julius and Vincent marry the Mason sisters. Both marriages produce twin children, and the couples are last seen meeting their mother and Professor Werner on an outing.I’m a big Arnold fan so I enjoy most of his films and this is easily the best comedy he’s ever done. The movie is just hilarious and fun to watch Arnold and Devito make a good team.

 

REVIEW: THE RUNNING MAN

 

CAST

Arnold Schwarzenegger (The Terminator)
María Conchita Alonso (Predator 2)
Richard Dawson (King Rat)
Yaphet Kotto (Alien)
Marvin J. McIntyre (Projext X)
Mick Fleetwood (Zero Tolerance)
Professor Tanaka (Last Action Hero)
Jesse Ventura (Predator)
Jim Brown (100 Rifles)
Erland Van Lidth De Jeude (Alone In The Dark)
Kurt Fuller (Supernatural)
Rodger Bumpass (Escapee From New York)
Sven-Ole Thorsen (Conan The Barbarian)
Lin Shaye (Ouija)

In 2017, after a worldwide economic collapse, the U.S. has become a totalitarian police state, censoring all cultural activity. The U.S. government pacifies the populace by broadcasting game shows where convicted criminals fight for their lives, including the gladiator-style The Running Man, hosted by the ruthless Damon Killian, where “runners” attempt to evade “stalkers”, armed mercenaries, around a large arena, and near-certain death for a chance to be pardoned by the stateBy 2019, Ben Richards, a police helicopter pilot wrongly convicted of a massacre during a food riot in Bakersfield, California, escapes from a labor camp with two resistance fighters, Weiss and Laughlin, and finds refuge at a resistance camp headed by their leader, Mic. Instead of joining the resistance, Richards seeks shelter at his brother’s apartment. He finds it is now occupied by Amber Mendez, a composer for ICS, the network that broadcasts The Running Man. Richards asks Mendez about the whereabouts of his brother, and she says that he was taken for “re-education.”Taking Amber hostage, Richards attempts to flee to Hawaii, but she alerts airport security and Richards is captured and taken to ICS. There, Killian coerces him into participating in The Running Man in exchange for Laughlin and Weiss not participating, but learns that Killian had enrolled them as runners anyway. He swears revenge. As the game begins, Richards and his friends are attacked by the first stalker, “Subzero,” but they fight back, with Richards killing Subzero – the first time a stalker has ever died on the show. Then Laughlin and Weiss search for the network’s uplink facilities, which they realize are in the game zone. Amber sees a falsified news report on Richards’ capture and, suspicious of the media’s veracity, does some investigating. She learns the truth about the massacre, but is captured by her own ICS colleagues and sent into the game zone.The runners split up, each pair pursued by a different stalker. “Buzzsaw” critically wounds Laughlin, but is killed by Richards. Weiss and Amber locate the uplink and learn the access codes, but “Dynamo” finds them and electrocutes Weiss. Amber’s screams lead Richards to her, and, as the two evade Dynamo, the stalker’s buggy flips, trapping him inside. Refusing to kill a helpless opponent, Richards leaves Dynamo alive. He and Amber then return to Laughlin, who, before dying, says that the resistance has a hideout within the game zone. Back at ICS, Killian sees Richards’ popularity growing, with viewers betting on him instead of the stalkers. Off-camera, Killian tries to offer Richards a job as a stalker, but, when Richards refuses, Killian sends the next stalker, “Fireball.” Fireball chases them into an abandoned factory, where Amber discovers the decomposing corpses of the previous seasons’ “winners” – realizing that they were killed by Fireball and their victory was faked. Fireball goes after Amber, but Richards rescues her and kills him using his own weaponry.Frustrated and running out of options, Killian seeks “Captain Freedom,” a retired stalker, to kill them. However, when Freedom refuses, the network creates digital body doubles of Freedom, Richards and Amber, which are then used to fake Richards´ and Amber´s deaths on screen. In the game zone, Richards and Amber are found by Mic and taken to the resistance’s hideout, where they learn of their “deaths.” Using the access codes, the rebels get into ICS’ control room, broadcasting footage that exonerates Richards and reveals the truth about the game’s previous “winners”. As Richards heads to the main studio floor, shocking the audience who had watched him supposedly die, Amber fights and kills Dynamo, the last remaining stalker.Richards confronts Killian after having dealt with security, who tried to kill him and the audience to cover up everything, not knowing it was being broadcast. Killian begs for his life, saying he created the show to appease the U.S. love of reality television and televised violence. In response, Richards decides to give the audience what they want right now – sending Killian to the game zone in a rocket sled. The sled hits a Cadre Cola billboard featuring Killian himself and explodes, killing Killian to the delight of the audience. Richards and Amber then romantically walk out of the studio.This movie is one of the most Underrated movie of its time. When watching this movie , your filled with action, and when somethings not really happing , the humour is un matched. Brilliant writing for a movie that was made to give us a bloody mix , of a game show where criminals are the contestants, and a near future where the general public all have a thirst for blood. Also Arnold Doesn’t let us down with some of his best one liners. Hope you enjoy this gem as much as i did.

 

REVIEW: END OF DAYS

CAST

Arnold Schwarzenegger (Maggie)
Robin Tunney (Hollywoodland)
Gabriel Byrne (Stigmata)
Kevin Pollak (Mom)
CCH Pounder (Avatar)
Derrick O’Connor (Alias)
Miriam Margolyes (Magnolia)
Udo Kier (Blade)
Victor Varnado (The Intern)
Rod Steiger (The Amityville Horror)

In 1979 a priest at the Vatican sees a comet arching over the moon (described as the “Eye of God”), heralding the birth of one chosen to be the mother of Satan’s child. The priest is sent on a mission by the Pope to find and protect the girl from Satan, although a few Vatican Knights (led by a corrupt cardinal) insist that she must die. In New York a newborn girl, Christine York, is identified by Satanists (including her physician, Dr. Abel, and her nurse and future guardian, Mabel) as the woman chosen to bear Satan’s child on New Year’s Eve, 1999. The Satanists perform occult rites on the newborn.In late 1999, Satan possesses an investment banker in a restaurant; he then destroys the restaurant, killing many inside. Suicidal and alcoholic former police detective Jericho Cane, depressed since his wife and daughter were killed in contract killings, works for a private security company and blames God for his plight. Jericho and co-worker Bobby Chicago are assigned to protect the possessed banker. A priest, Thomas Aquinas, unsuccessfully tries to kill the banker. Jericho captures Aquinas, who warns Jericho: “The thousand years has ended, the dark angel is loosed from his prison” and says that a girl is central. Jericho shoots Aquinas, who is arrested by the New York Police Department. Marge Francis, an NYPD detective and Jericho’s former colleague, tells him that Aquinas has no tongue.Jericho and Bobby investigate on their own, learning that Aquinas was trained at the Vatican and was sent to New York before disappearing. Jericho questions Father Kovak, a priest who knew Aquinas. Kovak asks Jericho if he believes in God; when he says no, the priest tells him that Aquinas was driven mad by forces an atheist could not understand. They go to Aquinas’ apartment, where they find his tongue in a jar and messages and symbols written in blood on the walls. Marge arrives, forcing them to leave. Satan infiltrates Aquinas’ hospital, and crucifies him on the ceiling. Although he survives, he is shot by a Satanic police officer. Jericho and Chicago see Latin words and “Christ in New York” scratched into Aquinas’ skin, and begins searching for Christine York.Jericho and Chicago find Christine in her apartment, saving her from the Vatican Knights, and she brings them to Mabel’s house. After Satan destroys Chicago’s van, killing him, Jericho attempts to leave with Christine. Mabel attacks Jericho, refusing to let him have Christine. Satan enters the house and kills Mabel for failing him; Jericho and Christine escape. Marge and another officer, both Satanists, tell Jericho to surrender Christine. Jericho kills them, but Satan resurrects Marge. Father Kovak tells Jericho and Christine that Satan must impregnate her moments before midnight on New Year’s Eve to usher in the “end of days”. Christine accepts Kovak’s protection.Satan infiltrates Jericho’s apartment, showing him a vision of his family’s murder, offering to bring them back in return for Christine. Enraged, Jericho throws Satan through his apartment window after a fight, and Chicago appears. At the church, the Vatican Knights try to kill Christine before Satan kills them. Chicago tells Jericho that he is in league with Satan after he brought him back. Kovak rescues Jericho, and Satan kidnaps Christine. After locating Satan’s underground temple, Jericho rescues Christine and again kills Marge. Chicago stops Jericho, who persuades him to fight off Satan’s influence; Satan burns him alive. Jericho escapes with Christine into a subway tunnel. They battle to survive against Satan together; Jericho fires a grenade at their pursuer, who leaves the banker to die for a new host.Jericho and Christine escape to another church, where Jericho renews his faith in God and prays for strength. Satan confronts Jericho as a massive, winged creature and possesses him. Jericho attempts to rape Christine, who tries to escape before Jericho deliberately impales himself on a sword protruding from a statue. At the stroke of midnight God frees Jericho’s dying body, sends Satan back to hell and the world celebrates the new millennium. Jericho and Christine see the former’s family waiting for him in the afterlife. He dies in peace, and Christine waits with his body for the authorities.All in all, an enjoyable romp for fans of the Arnie before his attention was diverted by a political career. It compares well to his classic eighties work by trying to do something different and while it may not gel properly in places, for a good 80% of the running time it does a very entertaining job.