REVIEW: MY SUPER EX-GIRLFRIEND

CAST

Uma Thurman (Kill Bill)
Luke Wilson (Old School)
Anna Faris (Mom)
Rain Wilson (Super)
Eddie Izzard (Hannibal)
Stelio Savante (Ugly Betty)
Wanda Sykes (Clerks II)
Juliana Harkavy (Arrow)

After foiling a purse snatcher who tries to steal Jenny Johnson’s (Uma Thurman) purse on the subway, Matthew Saunders (Luke Wilson) becomes Jenny’s “hero” and starts dating this shy stranger. After several dates, Jenny displays increasingly neurotic and aggressive behavior, becoming more demanding and ultimately injuring Matt and destroying his bed the first time they have sex. Soon after, Jenny reveals to him that she is in fact the voluptuous blonde superheroine, G-Girl, who accidentally received powers such as flight, superhuman strength, speed, and senses, invulnerability, super breath, and heat vision after she was exposed to radiation from a crashed meteorite as a teenager. Jenny starts to become more controlling after she reveals her powers and Matt starts to lose his mind.annah Lewis (Anna Faris), Matt’s co-worker, has a crush on him despite the fact that she is going out with a handsome but shallow underwear model. As Matt and Hannah’s friendship develops further, and after becoming aggravated with Jenny’s escalating jealousy, Matt ends the relationship. An enraged Jenny vows to make Matt regret the decision, using her superpowers to publicly embarrass him, throwing his car into space and eventually causing him to lose his job as an architect when she strips him naked during an important meeting. Professor Bedlam (Eddie Izzard), Jenny’s former friend, and now G-Girl’s nemesis, contacts Matt in order to enlist his aid in defeating her. Matt refuses and makes plans to leave the city. As he does so he is contacted by Hannah who has broken up with her cheating boyfriend, and after confessing their feelings to one another, they end up in bedJenny (as G-Girl) discovers them in bed the next day. Enraged and jealous, she attacks the pair with a great white shark. Angered, Matt contacts Professor Bedlam and agrees to help him defeat her, as long as Bedlam retires from being a supervillain. He instructs Matt to lure Jenny to a meeting where she can be exposed to another meteorite that will draw away her powers, leaving her a mere mortal. Matt agrees and meets Jenny for a candlelit dinner at his apartment, under the pretense of wanting to resume their relationship. Hannah arrives to see Jenny sitting on Matt’s lap. The two women fight, and in the struggle Jenny’s superhero identity is revealed to Hannah. Bedlam’s trap is sprung, and the energy that gave Jenny her powers is drained back into the meteorite, incapacitating JennyProfessor Bedlam appears, but reveals that he has no intention of keeping his promise to retire from villainy and in fact plans to take the powers for himself. While he and Matt fight, Jenny crawls to the charged meteorite attempting to regain her powers. Hannah intervenes just as Jenny grabs the meteorite, which explodes in a burst of power. Both Hannah and Jenny are catapulted off the roof, apparently to their deaths; Jenny appears within seconds, powers restored, threatening even more mayhem. Only the unexpected reappearance of Hannah, who was also exposed to the meteorite’s energies, and now possesses the same powers as G-Girl, saves Matt. The second fight between Hannah and Jenny is a full-on super-brawl, destroying part of the neighboring properties. Finally, Matt reasons with them both and they cease fighting. He tells Jenny that Professor Bedlam is her true love. Jenny agrees and she embraces her former nemesis.
The next morning, Matt and Hannah meet up with Professor Bedlam (now just “Barry”) and Jenny. As cries for help are heard from afar, Jenny and Hannah, who have become partners in crime-fighting, take off to tackle the emergency. Matt and Barry are left holding their girlfriends’ purses and clothes, and leave to have a beer together.It’s a delightful premise, hell hath no fury like a super-heroine scorned, and those involved don’t altogether carry it off, but it has its moments.

 

 

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REVIEW: CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEETBALLS 2

CAST

Anna Faris (Mom)
Bill Hader (Power Rangers)
James Caan (Elf)
Will Forte (Macgruber)
Andy Samberg (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)
Benjamin Bratt (Doctor Strange)
Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother)
Terry Crews (Scary Movie 5)
Kristen Schaal (Bobs Burgers)
Al Roker (Sharknado 4)
Walter Jones (Mighty Morphin Power Rangers)
Scott Menville (Teen Titans)
Kelly Stables (The Exes)

After Flint Lockwood and his friends save the world from the food storm in the first film, super-inventor Chester V, the CEO of Live Corp and Flint’s childhood idol, is tasked to clean the island. He relocates Flint, his friends, and the citizens of Swallow Falls to San Franjose, California. Unbeknownst to Flint, the FLDSMDFR survived the explosion and landed in the center of the island, and Chester is determined to find it. Chester invites Flint to work at Live Corp, where he meets Chester’s assistant Barb, a talking orangutan with human intelligence. Six months later, Flint humiliates himself during a promotion ceremony when his invention, the “Celebrationator”, explodes. Meanwhile, Chester is informed that his search-parties on the island have been attacked by monstrous cheeseburgers named cheespiders (a combination of a cheeseburger and a spider) which are trying to learn how to swim. Seemingly fearing the world’s inevitable doom, Chester tasks Flint to find the FLDSMDFR and destroy it once and for all. Despite Chester’s demands to keep the mission classified, Flint recruits his girlfriend, meteorologist Sam Sparks; her cameraman Manny; police officer Earl Devereaux; Steve, a monkey who communicates via a device on his chest; and “Chicken” Brent. Much to Flint’s dismay, his father Tim joins the crew and they travel to Swallow Falls on his fishing boat.
Upon arriving back at Swallow Falls, they notice that a jungle-like environment made of food has overgrown the island. Tim stays behind while Flint and the others investigate, finding a vast habitat of living food animals called foodimals and meet a cute strawberry nicknamed Barry. Tim, searching for sardines at his abandoned tackle shop, encounters a family of humanoid pickles and bonds with them by fishing. Chester discovers that Flint allowed his friends to join him on the mission, so he travels to the island with Barb, chagrined and determined to separate them, and he arrives just in time to save them from a Cheespider. Flint then finds his old lab and invents a device to find the FLDSMDFR. After escaping a Tacodile (a mix between a taco and a crocodile) attack, Sam notices that the foodimal was protecting its family, and begins to suspect Chester is up to no good. Sam attempts to convince Flint to spare the foodimals, but Flint is intent on impressing Chester. Sam leaves in anger, and Flint’s other companions go with her. In the jungle, Manny confirms Sam’s suspicions when he reverses the Live Corp logo to reveal the “Live” as “Evil” spelled backwards. In addition, Sam proves that the foodimals mean no harm by taming a Cheespider. They also learn that the foodimals had known the truth about Live Corp before. Upon realizing Chester’s intentions, the group is then ambushed by Evil Corp employees.
Flint finds the FLDSMDFR, but notices a family of cute, friendly marshmallows and becomes hesitant to destroy the machine. Chester immediately seizes control of the FLDSMDFR and announces his plot to make his updated line of food bars out of the foodimals. A crushed Flint is knocked into the river but rescued by the marshmallows. Flint is taken to his father, and they and the foodimals all work together to allow Flint and Barry to infiltrate the Evil Corp building that is under construction on the island. Barry frees the trapped foodimals while an enraged Flint confronts Chester, who threatens to make food bars out of his friends. Chester makes numerous holograms of himself to overwhelm Flint, but Flint uses the Celebrationator to expose the real Chester, allowing Flint to rescue his friends. An army of foodimals led by Barry arrive and fight Chester’s employees. Chester tries to make off with the FLDSMDFR, but is thwarted by Barb, who has a change of heart and Chester gets eaten by a Cheespider. With the island safe from Chester V and Evil Corp destroyed, Flint returns the FLDSMDFR to its place and frees it from Chester’s control and the foodimals continue to live in peace as more are born. The film ends with Flint fishing with his father for the first time, finding it enjoyable. In the mid-credits scene, Barb was trying to ask Steve out and he was trying to eat a banana sandwich.
I recommend this movie for anyone wanting to have a great thrill ride. People loving animation, cgi, and food especially!!! This movie is a keeper!!! I can’t say enough good things about it. 🙂

REVIEW: CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF MEETBALLS

CAST

Anna Faris (Mom)
Bill Hader (Power Rangers)
Bruce Campbell (Ash vs Evil Dead)
James Caan (Elf)
Andy Samberg (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)
Mt. T (The A-Team)
Bobbie J. Thompson (Role Models)
Benjamin Bratt (Doctor Strange)
Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother)
Al Roker (Sharknado 4)
Lauren Graham (Gilmore Girls)
Will Forte (Macgruber)
Neil Flynn (Scrubs)
Lori Alan (Family Guy)
Ariel Winter (Modern Family)

Flint Lockwood is a wannabe-scientist who lives in Swallow Falls, a tiny island in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean that has sardines as the base of its economy. Flint lives with Tim, his widowed technophobic father who misunderstands his son’s talent, and his pet monkey, Steve. Despite Flint’s zealous enthusiasm, his inventions, including spray-on shoes, a remote controlled television, rat birds, hair-un-balder, and a flying car, all ended in failure. Flint states that his dream was to help his hometown and that Swallow Falls used to be famous for sardines until the popular Baby Brent Sardine cannery went out of business permanently.Flint then invents a machine that transforms water into food, called the “Flint Lockwood Diatonic Super Mutating Dynamic Food Replicator” (FLDSMDFR). Flint turns on the FLDSMDFR in his laboratory, but ends up overloading the house’s electrical supply. He then decides to power the machine by hooking it up to a nearby power plant. When he turns the machine back on, it ends up rocketing through town, causing widespread damage, ultimately shooting up into the sky. While recovering from his failure, Flint meets Samantha “Sam” Sparks, a weather intern whose big break was foiled by Flint’s actions. Their conversation is cut short when rainbow colored clouds float over the town and begin to rain cheeseburgers.
The town rejoices in their renewed food choices, and Flint creates a communication device to send orders to the machine and order it to create different types of food. Swallow Falls (now renamed Chewandswallow) suddenly becomes a successful “food tourism” destination. Everything is going well until the townsfolk start greedily requesting food from Flint’s machine. Flint notices that the food is beginning to grow larger in size. Although he is concerned that the food is starting to “over mutate”, the now morbidly obese mayor sees it as profitable for him and the city, and guilts Flint into continuing to make food rain.
Citizens and worldly tourists in Chewandswallow are blissful until suddenly a large tornado formed of spaghetti and meatballs threatens the town. Flint rushes to his lab to turn the FLDSMDFR off and attempts to send a “kill code” to stop the machine, but the mayor, while trying to stop him by throwing a giant radish at him, accidentally destroys the communication device before he can do it. With Flint unable to control the machine, a massive food storm is created which threatens the world. When Flint’s father encourages him to fix the mess, Flint gains self-confidence, places the kill code in a USB flash drive, and builds a new flying car to reach and deactivate the FLDSMDFR, with the aid of Sam, her cameraman Manny, Steve and Brent (namesake of the Baby Brent Sardine cannery). As they approach the machine in the sky, they find that it is now at the core of a giant meatball, where clouds go in the top and a food hurricane goes out the bottom. The machine sends sentient food to attack them. In the chaos, the flash drive with the kill code is sucked by the wind out the window. Back at Chewandswallow, the citizens and tourists escape while the last leftovers fall. Mt. Leftovers collapses, causing an avalanche of food that destroys the town. Despite the avalanche ravaging Flint’s Lab, Tim manages to re-send the kill code to Flint’s cell phone from there. Flint then goes inside the meatball, finds the machine, and connects the phone to a port. To his dismay, Flint discovers that Tim sent him the wrong file, so he is unable to stop the FLDSMDFR. Flint then gets an idea and uses his Spray-On Shoes formula on the machine, causing it to explode. With the machine destroyed, the food storm subsides and everyone is able to return safely to Chewandswallow. Tim finally shows his appreciation for his son and his inventions before Flint and Sam celebrate with a kiss. Meanwhile, the obese mayor is seen stranded in the middle of the sea, having eaten nearly all of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich boat, while muttering that his plans were not well thought out.Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs took me by surprise, I went into it expecting an average computer generated movie incomparable with today’s best of the genre and came out astonished by the sheer creativity oozing from every aspect of the film.

REVIEW: MOVIE 43

CAST

Dennis Quaid (The Day After Tomorrow)
Greg Kinnear (Ghost Town)
Common (Wanted)
Hugh Jackman (Logan)
Kate Winslet (Divergent)
Liev Schreiber (The 5th Wave)
Naomi Watts (King Kong)
Anna Faris (Mom)
Chris Pratt (Passengers)
Kristen Bell (Bad Moms)
Seth MacFalrane (Family Guy)
Emma Stone (The Amazing Spider-Man)
Charlie Saxton (Hung)
Leslie Bibb (American Housewife)
Uma Thurman (KillBill)
Bobby Cannavale (Ant-Man)
Kate Bosworth (Superman Returns)
Will Sasso (Happy Gilmore)
Christopher Mintz-Plasse (Superbad)
Chloe Grace Moretz (The 5th Wave)
Odessa Rae (Hard Candy)
Terrence Howard (Iron Man 2)
Elizabeth Banks (Power Rangers)
Josh Duhamel (Transformers)
Tony Shalhoub (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Gerard Butler (Gamer)
Seann William Scott (American Pie)
Katie Finneran (Wonderfalls)
Halle Berry (X-Men)
Justin Long (Jeepers Creepers)
Jason Sudeikis (Son of Zorn)
Julie Claire (Devious Minds)
Stephen Merchant (The Office)
Johnny Knoxville (The Last Stand)
Richard Gere (Primal Fear)
Julie Ann Emery (Fargo)
J.B. Smoove (Date Night)
Jarrad Paul (The Grinder)
Katrina Bowden (30 Rock)
Kieran Culkin (Scott Pilgrim Vs The World)
Aasif Mandvi (The Dictator)
Julianne Moore (Carrie)
Anton Yelchin (Star Trek)
Fisher Stevens (Hail, Caesar!)

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Movie 43 is a series of different skits containing different scenes and scenarios.

Movie 43

The Pitch

The film is composed of multiple comedy shorts presented through an overarching segment titled “The Pitch”, in which Charlie Wessler (Dennis Quaid), a mad screenwriter, is attempting to pitch a script to film executive Griffin Schraeder (Greg Kinnear). After revealing several of the stories in his script, Wessler becomes agitated when Schraeder dismisses his outrageous ideas, and he pulls a gun on him and forces him to listen to multiple other stories before making Schraeder consult his manager, Bob Mone (Common), to purchase the film. When they do so, Mone’s condescending, humiliating attitude toward Schraeder angers him to the point that, after agreeing to make the film “the biggest film since Howard the Duck”, he confronts Mone in the parking lot with a gun and tries to make him perform fellatio on the security guard (Will Sasso) (Wessler had gotten on the lot by doing the same thing) and kill him if he does not make the film. Wessler tries to calm Schraeder down with more story ideas to no avail, but Mone pulls out a gun and shoots Schraeder to death. The segment ends with it being revealed that it is being shot by a camera crew as part of the movie, leading into the final segments.

Alternative version (The Thread)

The structure of the film released in some countries, like the United Kingdom and the Netherlands, differs. Instead of a pitch, the films are connected by a group of three teenagers searching for the most banned film in the world, Movie 43, which will ultimately lead to the destruction of civilization. Calvin Cutler (Mark L. Young) and his friend J.J. (Adam Cagley) make a video in the style of MTV’s Jackass and upload it on YouTube where it instantly reaches over 1,000,000 views. This turns out to be an April Fool’s prank from Calvin’s younger brother Baxter (Devin Eash), who cloned YouTube and hyper-inflated the views while working on his science project. Calvin and J.J. attempt to get revenge. They tell Baxter of a film that’s so dangerous it will cause the annihilation of the world. The movie is known as Movie 43. While J.J. and Baxter look for Movie 43 on Google, Calvin retrieves Baxter’s laptop and loads it with viruses from porn sites, and masturbates to the naked women on the porn sites in a bathroom. Baxter finds hundreds of results for Movie 43 on a website referred to by him as a dark corner of the Internet. They find the sketches starting from the 43rd search on the list of results. As he and J.J. keep watching videos, they are interrupted by a man known as Vrankovich (Fisher Stevens) and a group of Chinese mobsters (Tim Chou and James Hsu) who are tempted to find Movie 43, even going as far as to take J.J.’s classmate Stevie Schraeder (Nate Hartley), film executive Griffin Schraeder’s oldest son, hostage. Vrankovich warns them that if they find Movie 43, civilization will be left to ruins. They ignore his claims and keep searching. They eventually find the real, the one and only Movie 43, which turns out to involve Baxter as a profane commando who leads a group of recruits to survive after the world has ended. As Calvin finishes ruining Baxter’s laptop, their mother (Beth Littleford) enters, wearing the same shirt and shorts that the porn site women wear, causing Calvin to flip out, have visions, and find semen from his erect crotch on his hand in shock and horror. Afterward, a deadly earthquake rumbles and mankind is lost. However, a few years later the only survivor, a crippled Calvin, finds Baxter’s laptop still working despite viral infections. He watches the last remaining skits on the laptop. This version of the film was released in the U.S. as part of the Blu-ray Disc of Movie 43 as an unrated alternate cut of the film

The Catch

Beth (Kate Winslet) is a single businesswoman who goes on a blind date with Davis (Hugh Jackman), the city’s most eligible bachelor. When the two arrive together at a restaurant, Beth is shocked when he removes his scarf, revealing a pair of testicles dangling from his neck. Over dinner it confuses her that Davis fails to acknowledge his anatomical abnormality, and that nobody seems to be surprised by it. When two friends of Davis (Roy Jenkins and Katie Finneran) come by, one of them convinces him to give Beth a kiss. Davis agrees, but when he kisses her, his neck-testicles are dangling near Beth’s mouth, causing her to scream and budge out of the kiss.

Homeschooled

Having recently moved, Sean (Alex Cranmer) and Clare (Julie Ann Emery) have coffee with their new neighbors. The neighbors, Robert (Liev Schreiber) and Samantha (Naomi Watts) have a teenage son, Kevin (Jeremy Allen White), whom they have home-schooled. Sean and Clare begin inquiring about the homeschooling, and the numerous manners in which Robert and Samantha have replicated a high school environment within their home, going as far as hazing, bullying, and giving out detentions, are revealed. They also throw high school parties and Samantha instigates Kevin’s “first kiss” with him. Visibly disturbed, the neighbors end up meeting Kevin, who says he is going out and gives them the impression that all is fine: until he reveals a doll made of a mop with Samantha’s face on it, referring to the doll as his girlfriend.

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The Proposition

Julie (Anna Faris) and Doug (Chris Pratt) have been in a relationship for a year. When he attempts to propose to her, she reveals to him that she is a coprophiliac, and asks him to defecate on her in the bedroom. Urged by his best friend Larry (J.B. Smoove) and others to go along with it, he eats a large meal and drinks a bottle of laxative prior to the event. Wanting foreplay, Julie is angered when Doug wants to finish, and she runs into the street. Chasing after her, he is then hit by a car and graphically evacuates his bowels everywhere. She cradles him and apologizes; covered and surrounded by his excrement on the road, she exclaims that it is the “most beautiful thing” she has ever seen and accepts his marriage proposal.

Veronica

Neil (Kieran Culkin) is working a night shift at a local grocery store. His ex-girlfriend, Veronica (Emma Stone), comes through his line and the two begin arguing, which soon turns into sexual discussion and flirtation as they lament over their relationship; unbeknownst to them, Neil’s intercom microphone broadcasts the entire explicit conversation throughout the store, where various elderly people and vagrants tune in. After she leaves in tears, the customers agree to cover his shift while he goes after her.

iBabe

A developing company is having a meeting in their headquarters over their newly released product, the “iBabe”, which is a life-sized, realistic replica of a nude woman which functions as an MP3 player. The boss (Richard Gere) listens to his various workers (Kate Bosworth, Aasif Mandvi and Jack McBrayer) argue over the placement of a fan that was built into the genital region of the iBabe, which is dismembering the penises of teenage boys who attempt to have sex with them. The board members then agree to strongly emphasize the dangers of the product via its new commercials.

Superhero Speed Dating

Robin (Justin Long) and his cohort Batman (Jason Sudeikis) are in Gotham City at a speed dating establishment seeking out a bomb threat by their nemesis, Penguin (John Hodgman). While Robin attempts to connect with various women through speed dating including Lois Lane (Uma Thurman) and Supergirl (Kristen Bell), Batman encounters his ex Wonder Woman (Leslie Bibb) and attempts to stop Penguin from detonating Supergirl, who later turns out to be the Riddler (Will Carlough) in disguise, which Batman already knew and was screwing with Robin, who kissed “her” moments before unveiling.

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Machine Kids

A faux-Public service announcement about children stuck in machines and how adults’ criticism of these particular machines affect the feelings of the children stuck inside the machines. This commercial was paid for by the “Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Children Inside Machines”.

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Middleschool Date

Nathan (Jimmy Bennett) and Amanda (ChloĂ« Grace Moretz) are watching television after school at Nathan’s house as their first “middle school” date. When they begin to kiss, his older brother Mikey (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) enters the living room and makes fun of them. Amanda then discovers she is menstruating and tries to hide it, and when Nathan sees blood on her pants, he panics and believes her to be bleeding to death, causing a debacle, which would later have Nathan and Mikey’s father Steve (Patrick Warburton) and Amanda’s father (Matt Walsh) involved. Amanda calls them out on their stupidity and feels embarrassed to know that she’s getting her first period in front of them and they don’t know what to do about it. When she leaves with her father, Nathan yells that the process of keeping the lining of her internal organs intact by inserting his erect phallus into her vagina is much too complicated and Mikey agrees. Steve cheers them up by farting in front of them. As Mikey goes to the bathroom, Nathan and Steve watch a game on television, which has a very graphic Tampax commercial in which a girl gets eaten by a shark due to her menstruating.

Tampax

Another faux-commercial involving two women who go swimming in the sea. As the women submerge into the water, a great shark suddenly appears and eats one of the women. A tagline appears, reading: “Tampax. Now Leak-Proof”

Happy Birthday

Pete (Johnny Knoxville) captures a leprechaun (Gerard Butler) for his roommate Brian (Seann William Scott) as a birthday present. After tying the leprechaun up in the basement, they demand he give them a pot of gold. The obscene leprechaun threatens that his brother is coming to save him. When he arrives, Brian and Pete are shot at but ultimately kill both leprechauns. At the end of the segment, Pete reveals he has also caught a fairy (Esti Ginzburg) who performs fellatio for gold coins.

Truth or Dare

Donald (Stephen Merchant) and Emily (Halle Berry) are on a date together at a Mexican restaurant. Tired of typical first dates, Emily challenges Donald to a game of truth or dare. She dares him to grab a man’s buttocks, and he follows with daring her to blow out the birthday candles on a blind boy’s cake. The game rapidly escalates to extremes, in which both of them get plastic surgery and tattoos, and humiliate themselves. When Donald and Emily arrive back at Emily’s apartment, they praise their date. Donald tries to kiss her, but she rejects him, claiming she’s not attracted to Asian men (which he was surgically altered to resemble). It is revealed that she was joking and invites him to have sex with her as she shows him her enlarged breasts.

Victory’s Glory

Set in 1959, Coach Jackson (Terrence Howard) is lecturing his all-black basketball team before their first game against an all-white team. Worried about losing the game, the timid players are lectured by the coach about their superiority in the sport over their white counterparts, which he expresses vulgarly. When the game ensues, the all-white team loses miserably yet rejoices in a single point they earn.

Beezel

Played mid-credits, Amy (Elizabeth Banks) worries that her boyfriend Anson’s (Josh Duhamel) cat, Beezel (an animated cartoon), is coming between their relationship. Beezel seems to detest Amy and anyone who comes between him and Anson, but Anson only sees Beezel as innocent. One day, Amy witnesses Beezel masturbating to summer vacation photos of Anson in a swimsuit. Beezel attacks her and violently urinates on her. Anson still finds his pet innocent but Amy threatens to leave if he doesn’t get rid of Beezel. Caring more about his relationship, Anson agrees to find a new home for him. That night, from a closet, Beezel tearfully watches the couple make love (whilst sodomizing himself with a hairbrush and dry humping a stuffed teddy bear). The next day when it comes time to take Beezel away, he is nowhere to be found. Amy goes outside to look. Beezel then runs her over with a truck and attempts to shoot her to death with a shotgun, but she chases him into the street and begins beating him with a shovel, which is witnessed by a group of children attending a birthday party at a neighboring house. When Anson approaches to see what is happening, Amy tries to explain Beezel’s motives. Beezel acts innocent and Anson sides with his cat. The children of the party then attack and murder Amy for beating up Beezel, stabbing her with plastic forks. Anson grabs Beezel, as Beezel again fantasizes about French kissing his owner.

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Find Our Daughter

In this segment that was cut from the film, Maude (Julianne Moore) and George (Tony Shalhoub) are looking for their breast-flashing daughter Susie (Jordanna Taylor) with the help of the private eye (Bob Odenkirk), who is behind the camera with only one clue which is a small video that features their daughter. The scene was released on Blu-ray.

Necrophiliac

This segment cut from the film stars a necrophiliac who worked at a morgue and had sex with the dead female bodies. The scene was included on the Blu-Ray release.

This film gets a lot of negative reviews, and I can see why – it’s definitely a marmite type ‘love it or hate it’ film. I doubt there’s any room for a grey area. Slapstick, crude toilet humour delivered in a very clever fashion. This isn’t so much a film as it is a series of interlinked sketches with an all-star cast

 

 

REVIEW: OBSERVE AND REPORT

 

CAST

Seth Rogen (Knocked Up)
Ray Liotta (Killing Them Softly)
Michael Pena (Ant-Man)
Anna Faris (Mom)
Dan Bakkedahl  (The Heat)
Collette Wolfe (Interstellar)
Aziz Ansari (This Is The End)
Jesse Plemons (Battleship)
John Yuan (Bad Roomies)
Matthew Yuan (The Millers)
Celia Weston (Hulk)
Patton Oswalt (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.)
Danny McBride (Land of The Lost)
Lauren Miller (For A Good Time, Call..)

An anonymous flasher exposes himself to shoppers in the Forest Ridge Mall parking lot. The head of mall security, Ronald “Ronnie” Barnhardt (Rogen), makes it his mission to apprehend the offender. He is assisted by Charles, Dennis, and the Yuen twins (John and Matthew Yuan), in his efforts. The day after, Ronnie’s dream girl, Brandi (Faris), who is a mall make-up counter, encounters the flasher as soon as she stops her vehicle in the malls parking lot shocking her. Then Ronnie tries to comfort her until a cop named Detective Harrison arrives, and takes over Ronnie’s palliative role. Ronnie gets upset & agitated that his manager allowed an outsider to replace his search for this suspect.

The criminal activity at the mall continues, as a masked person is seen robbing a shoe store, causing property damage. Detective Harrison is once again called in to investigate, his efforts which Ronnie decides to get into, who believes that Saddamn, an Arab shopkeeper in the mall is the thief, based on the fact that he is an Arab. Ronnie curses Saddamn out, and Harrison profanely excoriates Ronnie for this during a meeting with Ronnie’s superior, and in response, Ronnie decides to take steps to become a police officer.

As part of his preparations, Ronnie decides to ride along with Detective Harrison. Harrison, fed up with Ronnie, tricks him into walking into the most dangerous part of town, and drives off. Ronnie then confronts and subsequently assaults several drug dealers, victoriously returning to the police station with a dealer’s son and thanking the detective for the opportunity to prove himself. Emboldened, Ronnie arranges a date with Brandi. On their date, Brandi sees Ronnie taking a prescription clonazepam, and thinking that Ronnie takes them recreationally, she asks him for the bottle. She consumes multiple tablets herself while drinking. Ronnie takes her home and rapes her while she is apparently semi-conscious, and at one point, when he stops mid-coitus, she says groggily, “Why are you stopping, motherfucker?”, compelling him to continue.

Ronnie passes the background check and physical examination for the police officer job, but fails the psychological examination. Nell, a friendly food court worker, explains to him that her boss, Roger and Trina, another female employee make fun of Nell for having her leg in a cast. Ronnie then beats up Roger and warns him and Trina not to harass Nell again. Depressed, he is persuaded by Dennis to spend the day doing a wide variety of drugs and assaulting skateboarding teenagers. At the end of the day, Ronnie finds out that Dennis was the shoe thief, and that he has been stealing from the mall for some time. Ronnie is stunned and, after a brief argument, is knocked unconscious by Dennis, who then flees to Mexico. Ronnie decides to go undercover in order to catch the flasher. At night he sees Harrison having sex with Brandi, and he confronts her in front of onlookers at the mall the next day, blowing his cover and inadvertently destroying a display case. When the police are summoned, Ronnie fights them and Harrison. Ronnie loses the fight and is arrested.

After a night in jail, Ronnie’s mom gives him a postcard from Dennis in Mexico. Dennis admits that he respects Ronnie for caring so much. The next day, Ronnie returns to the mall, fired from his job. Despondent, he sits at a food court table, where Nell, whose cast has been removed, and is sporting a more flattering hairdo, brings him a complimentary cup of coffee. As a vulnerable Ronnie expresses his sadness over his situation, Nell kisses him. Interrupting their romantic moment, the flasher exposes himself to Nell and Ronnie and runs off, exposing himself to many other mall patrons. Ronnie, pursuing the flasher in a slow-motion sequence that includes him punching Saddamn in the face, retrieves a gun and shoots the flasher in the shoulder as he charges toward Brandi. Refusing the flasher an ambulance, Ronnie brings the flasher to his feet to take him to the police station, and as he does so, his boss, Mark rehires him. Though Brandi compliments Ronnie on a job well done, Ronnie rejects her compliment and humiliates her publicly for betraying him. Ronnie drops the flasher off at the police station, and boasts to Harrison of his feat, saying that he does not need a badge or gun to know who he is. Ronnie is then interviewed by the local news with Nell and his fellow security guards by his side.

I can see why people would hate this movie. It certainly is not for everybody. So many will hate it and so few will actually get the point of it. But if you lower your expectations, this is a movie that is very enjoyable.

 

31 DAYS OF HORROR REVIEW: SCARY MOVIE 4

CAST

Anna Faris (Mom)
Regina Hall (Love & Basketball)
Craig Bierko (Kate & Leopold)
Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun)
Bill Pullman (The Grudge)
Chris Elliott (How I Met Your Mother)
Vanessa Minnillo (Disaster Movie)
Michael Madsen (Powers)
Molly Shannon (Bad Teacher)
Beau Mirchoff (The Grudge 3)
Conchita Campbell (Pursued)
Anthony Anderson (Transformers)
Kevin Hart (Death at a Funeral)
Cloris Leachman (Sky High)
Simon Rex (Superhero Movie)
Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men)
James Earl Jones (Star Wars)
Crystal Lowe (Poison Ivy 4)

Shaquille O’Neal and Dr. Phil awaken to find themselves chained to pipes in a spoof of Saw. Their host, Billy the Puppet, reveals the room is filling with nerve gas. The only way to get the saws was to make a basket. Shaq misses twice, injuring Phil, but still managed to get the saws. Phil realizes they have to cut through their own feet. Shaq tricks Phil into doing so, but accidentally saws off the wrong foot, inadvertently leaving both men to die. In New York, Cindy Campbell visits her former brother-in-law Tom Logan. Her husband George has died and her nephew Cody is at military school, leaving her lonely. Tom, sick of listening to her, tries to commit suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills. However, he mistakenly ingests Viagra, resulting in a painful death when he tumbles over the balustrade and lands on his absurdly erect penis. Cindy takes a job caring for an old lady, Mrs. Norris, who lives in a haunted house.Cindy’s new neighbour, Tom Ryan, runs into George’s old friends, Mahalik and CJ, who unintentionally reveal they had a homosexual one-night stand since a Brokeback Mountain-like trip to the mountains. Tom returns home, where his former wife Marilyn has arrived with his children, Robbie and Rachel, both of whom resent their father.The next morning, Cindy confides in Tom the tragic death of her husband George during the her Million Dollar Baby-like last match of her boxing career. As Cindy and Tom realize their love for each other and kiss, the sky suddenly experiences a freak storm, leaving all motorized vehicles in the world without power; even bikes, skateboards and bombs won’t move or work. Meanwhile, in a War of the Worlds reference, a gigantic object called triPod emerges from the ground to play “Karma Chameleon” before switching to “Destroy Humanity” and vaporizing people. Cindy runs back home and encounters the house’s resident ghost, Toshio.
Cindy tries to communicate using mock Japanese, The Japanese boy reveals that the answer to the invasion lies in his father’s heart. Tom leaves Cindy and flees with his children to an undisclosed location. While visiting Edna R. Penhall Elementary School, U.S. President Baxter Harris receives news of the alien attack. Unfortunately, Harris is more interested by the reading of “My Pet Duck”, and fails to respond appropriately. The situation only worsens when his aide explains that the duck dies, and the aide explains that the aliens are vaporizing people, which leads for the president to exclaim that all of these children’s parents could be dead, which culminates in a violent riot by the children. On his way out the president asks his aide to remind him to sign the abortion bill.
Cindy reunites with her old friend Brenda Meeks, now a local reporter despite having died in the previous film. Meanwhile, Mahalik and CJ are working as sewer inspectors, but when they get out of the sewer a horde of zombie-like people start to attack them. They easily fight back although one of them is Mahalik’s grandma. He keeps telling her how much he loves her while beating her up at the same time, finally throwing her into the sewers at the end (a loose parody of Shaun of the Dead). Cindy and Brenda manage to find the last working car and follow the directions left by Toshio. Soon, they discover a mysterious village which resembles a pseudo-Amish community. Unfortunately, they are captured and taken into a court to have their fate decided by village leader Henry Hale (Bill Pullman). During the trial, Hale’s blind daughter, Holly, stumbles into the courtroom thinking she’s alone. She strips and has a large bowel movement in front of everyone. To the consternation of the crowded courtroom, Hale rules that Cindy and Brenda may stay in the village, but never leave.
Later, at an emergency session of the United Nations (UN), U.S. President Harris follows a round of offensive jokes with the unveiling of a weapon designed to combat the aliens. Scientists have modified the heat ray captured from one of the triPods into having the opposite effect of destroying bodies, leaving only clothes behind. The UN gets an unexpected and quite unwelcome demonstration when Harris unwittingly causes the ray to render everybody stark naked, beginning with himself. In a nearby field strewn with red weed, Tom and his children still are driving the car while most people try to steal it, which succeeds after a man points a gun to his head and they switch the wrong items. Later they run into a battle between the U.S. military and the triPods. Robbie decides to join the fight, excited by the graphic violence. While Tom tries to dissuade him, Michael Jackson tries to persuade Rachel to come along – but Tom manages to stop her in time, leaving the singer to be repeatedly disintegrated until only his plastic nose remains.
Tom and Rachel flee into a house guarded by the lunatic Oliver, but their respite is short-lived when father and daughter are captured by a triPod. Back in the village, Henry gets stabbed by the mentally challenged village idiot Ezekiel. A dying Henry explains to Cindy and Brenda that he is the father of Toshio, who was killed during the mass accident at Cindy’s boxing match. However, various events conspire against Henry revealing the full story, finally culminating in Cindy and Brenda being caught by the Command triPod. The main characters wake up in the same bathroom from the opening. Cindy and Brenda find themselves wearing “Venus Fly Traps” and Tom wearing an absurd device designed to shoot a pole up his behind. Then Billy appears on the TV and tells them Cindy has 60 seconds to retrieve the key.
After much prompting, Cindy realises that she has to retrieve the key from behind her eye – which she does without trouble, since the key was behind a glass eye she got following a “bad bar fight in ’96”. Then both Rachel and Robbie come down from the ceiling, to be sliced into pieces unless Tom holds onto their rope. Billy then unleashes a bully-like device on Tom,then,a lethal torture device where his kids would be saved ,but he would suffer a terrible death. As Tom is being tortured, Cindy notices the toilet that has a heart drawn on it and discovers pictures of Billy with Henry’s wife and Toshio. Realising that Billy was the boy’s biological father and the entire invasion is revenge for his son’s death, Cindy pleads him to call off the invasion.Brenda enters a secret room behind a trap door and appears on the TV with Billy, who takes unkindly to Brenda’s appearance. Brenda starts attacking Billy, but Billy calls in his brother Zoltar for help. Brenda then tackles Zoltar off the screen. After seeing how far Tom would go to save his children’s lives at the cost of his own, Billy spares their lives and impatiently apologizes for killing millions of people and allows them to depart from the bathroom. Before Cindy, Tom, Robbie, and Rachel leave, Cindy asks where Brenda is and Brenda and Zoltar appear to which Brenda reveals she had an affair with Zoltar.
In an epilogue set nine months later, Brenda gives birth to the child of Zoltar, CJ and Mahalik resume their relationship, and President Harris is seen sleeping with a duck. James Earl Jones narrates mankind’s victory through love, before being run over by a passing bus. Meanwhile, Tom appears on The Oprah Winfrey Show, crazy for attention. Ultimately, following various increasingly destructive antics that include flipping, swinging, manically throwing Cindy off the stage with crazy love, breaking Oprah Winfrey’s hands and knocking her with a chair, Tom rushes towards the camera as the screen goes black, and shows the movies’ main title.
Another you either love it or you hate it, but If you love the  Scary Movies then its an easy choice to watch this

31 DAYS OF HORROR REVIEW: SCARY MOVIE 3

CAST

Anna Faris (Mom)
Regina Hall (Love & Basketball)
Simon Rex (Superhero Movie)
Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men)
Leslie Nielsen (The Naked Gun)
Queen Latifah (Bringing Down The House)
Anthony Anderson (Transformers)
Kevin Hart (Death at a Funeral)
Camryn Manheim (Eraser)
George Carlin (Dogma)
Eddie Griffin (The New Guy)
Pamela Anderson (Scooby-Doo)
Jenny McCarthy (Scream 3)
Denise Richards (Valentine)
Ajay Naidu (Office Space)
Tom Kenny (The Batman)

Katie (Jenny McCarthy) and Becky (Pamela Anderson) are talking about a tape, which Katie thinks is a sex tape, but Becky refers to a cursed tape (The Ring). After several odd occurrences, they die. In a farm outside Washington, D.C., widowed farmer and former reverend Tom Logan (Charlie Sheen) and his clumsy younger brother George (Simon Rex) discover a crop circle, saying “Attack Here!” .Meanwhile, Cindy Campbell (Anna Faris), now a blonde news reporter, announces the crop circles on the news. She then goes to pick up her paranormally endowed nephew Cody (Drew Mikuska) from school, where her best friend Brenda Meeks (Regina Hall) is his teacher. George Logan arrives to pick up his niece Sue, Tom’s daughter, who is in the same class. Cindy falls in love with George, who invites her and Brenda to a rap-battle with his rapper friends Mahalik (Anthony Anderson) and CJ (Kevin Hart) (8 Mile). George competes and proves to be actually quite talented, but due to unintentional racist blunders, he’s thrown out.Later, Brenda asks Cindy to keep her company, since she watched the cursed videotape. After playing several pranks on Cindy (fake seizures, burning hand, etc.), she gets the rest of the popcorn in the lounge, when the TV turns on. Brenda fails to turn it off. Tabitha (Marny Eng) climbs out of the well and the TV, Brenda gets into a fight with Tabitha. Tabitha ends up killing Brenda, since Cindy is ignoring the ruckus. George receives a phone call about the death, and Tom meets with Sayaman, who apologizes for the accident involving himself and Tom’s wife Annie (Denise Richards).During Brenda’s wake, George and Mahalik, due to a misunderstanding, wreak havoc on Brenda’s corpse in an unsuccessful attempt to revive her, only to blow up her body and end up getting kicked out of the house. Later, Cindy decides to watch the tape, finding it odd. She then gets a phone call, saying she’ll die in a week. She calls George, CJ and Mahalik for help. CJ offers that his Aunt Shaneequa might be able to help. Aunt Shaneequa (Queen Latifah), the Matrix Oracle, and her husband Orpheus (Eddie Griffin) agree to watch the tape. Shaneequa discovers the hidden image of a lighthouse, and gets into a fight with Tabitha’s mother. Shaneequa tells Cindy to find the lighthouse to break the curse. When Cindy returns home, she finds Cody watched the tape.Back at work, Cindy searches through pictures of lighthouses before finding the one from the tape. Desperate to save Cody, Cindy tries to warn everyone by entering a message into the news anchor’s teleprompter, but she is interrupted by her boss and a janitor who insults the manager on the teleprompter (which the anchorman blindly recites). The Logans hear the message and take it seriously since they encountered an alien disguised as Michael Jackson (Edward Moss), and President Baxter Harris (Leslie Nielsen), who personally visits the farm to investigate the crop circles. Cindy ventures to the lighthouse, where she encounters The Architect (George Carlin).The loquacious (and lecherous) old man explains Tabitha was his evil adopted daughter, whom his wife drowned in the farm’s well, but not before she imprinted her evil onto the tape. Unfortunately, he mistook the evil tape for a copy of Pootie Tang and returned it to Blockbuster instead, unleashing the curse. When Cindy asks about how this relates to the Aliens, the Architect speculates that Tabitha is summoning them to aid her in destroying the human race.Returning home, Cindy discovers her station has been broadcasting the evil tape for hours, and there have been various sightings of aliens around the world. Worse, Cody is missing. Cindy manages to track him back to the Logan farm, where he has taken refuge with George. Tom orders everybody into the basement for safety, as he, George and Mahalik go outside to fight off the extraterrestrials. The aliens (voiced by Tom Kenny) arrive but reveal they are friendly and have come to stop Tabitha, since they accidentally watched the tape on a broadcast they had intercepted, thinking it was Pootie Tang. In the basement, Cindy realizes the farm’s cellar is what is seen on the tape and she finds the well where Tabitha was drowned under the cellar floor. Suddenly, Tabitha appears behind her. A short fight ensues, during which Tabitha takes Cody hostage. Cindy and George appeal to her, offering her a place in their family. Tabitha appears to accept the offer, but then changes back to her monstrous form and advances to Cindy and the others, only to be accidentally knocked back into the well by President Harris. The aliens leave in peace, and Cindy and George get married. Leaving for their honeymoon, they realize they forget to take Cody with them. At first, Cody is about to get hit by Cindy’s car in an intersection, but she put the brakes this time to prevent it from happening, much to Cody’s relief. Unfortunately, causing Cody to be hit by another car passing through the intersection.Admittedly, the plot of this film is a bit of a shambles, and as a film it lacks the consistency of Hot Shots and the Naked Gun films. However, the film is very funny, with some great visual gags and bad taste comedy.