REVIEW: MACHETE KILLS

CAST

Danny Trejo (Bullet)
Michelle Rodriguez (Resident Evil)
Mel Gibson (Mad Max)
Sofia Vergara (The Smurfs)
Amber Heard (Aquaman)
Demián Bichir (Solo)
Charlie Sheen (Two and a Half Men)
Walton Goggins (American Ultra)
Cuba Gooding Jr.(Jerry Maguire)
Lady Gaga (Sin City 2)
Antonio Banderas (The Mask of Zorro)
Jessica Alba (Dark Angel)
Vanessa Hudgens (Powerless)
Alexa Vega (Spy Kids)
William Sadler (Iron Man 3)
Electra and Elise Avellan (Death Proof)

Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) and Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) attempt to capture weapon dealers who have been supplying the Mexican drug cartels. The military men are then all killed by the gangsters, who in turn are wiped out by another intervening party. Its leader murders Sartana while Machete is arrested by corrupt Sheriff Doakes (William Sadler) and Deputy Clebourne (Samuel Davis). Doakes unsuccessfully tries to hang Machete but the President of the US, Rathcock (Charlie Sheen), intervenes. Machete is brought to the White House, where the president offers him US citizenship if he eliminates Marcos Mendez (Demián Bichir), a psychopath who is threatening to fire a nuclear missile at Washington, D.C. if the American government does not intervene to stop the rampant drug cartels in Mexico and the corruption of its government.Machete agrees and travels to San Antonio, where he meets his handler Blanca Vasquez (Amber Heard), an undercover beauty pageant competitor. She sends him to Acapulco to meet a young woman, Cereza (Vanessa Hudgens), who can lead him to Mendez. Machete finds her in a brothel run by her mother, Madame Desdemona (Sofía Vergara), who attempts to kill Machete before he escapes with Cereza. She takes him to Mendez’s associate, Zaror (Marko Zaror), who kills Cereza before taking Machete to Mendez’s base of operations.There, Machete learns that Mendez has wired the missile’s launch device to his heart and triggered its launch in 24 hours. If he dies, the missile fires. After killing Zaror he captures Mendez, intending to escort him to US and find a way to disarm the missile. Machete learns that Mendez is an ex-secret agent who tried to expose his corrupt superiors, only to be betrayed and forced to watch his family being tortured. The trauma drove him insane, creating his split personalities and leading him to join forces with the missile’s creator.Shortly thereafter, a hit is put out on them. Machete is targeted by Madame Desdemona and her prostitute assassins, including a shapeshifting hitman called El Camaleón (Lady Gaga), as well as Doakes. Machete and Mendez manage to reach the US and kill Doakes and Clebourne only to be caught by a reborn Zaror and the same mercenaries who killed Sartana. Zaror decapitates Mendez and Machete is riddled with bullets.Machete wakes up to find himself in a healing tank. He is taken to meet Zaror’s benefactor—corrupt businessman, inventor and Star Wars fan Luther Voz (Mel Gibson). He shows Machete Mendez’s beating heart, preserved in a jar, and informs him of his plan to manipulate extremists throughout the world to detonate nuclear weapons while planning to escape in a spaceship to rebuild society in space. Machete then escapes with help from Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), who had heard about the hit on Machete. She informs him that the only one who can disarm Mendez’s heart is Machete’s old enemy, Osiris Amanpour (Tom Savini). Machete contacts Vasquez, who instructs him to meet her at a rendezvous point.Arriving there, Machete is betrayed and ambushed by Vasquez, who is in league with Voz. As she is escaping into the desert, Machete gives chase and jumps onto the top of her vehicle but falls off after gunfire comes through the roof. Machete is then given a ride by El Camaleón, who tries to kill him one last time. But he escapes and El Camaleón ends up being shot to death by a group of racist rednecks just inside the US border. Machete then reunites with Luz and her group, the Network. They infiltrate a fundraiser at Voz’s base of operations, where Voz kills Osiris. Machete realizes Voz was the one who killed Sartana and fights him. He severely burns Voz’s face, disfiguring him to the extent that Voz is forced to wear a metallic, silver mask. Meanwhile, Vasquez shoots Luz in her good eye, completely blinding her. Luz kills Vasquez in return but is captured by Voz, frozen in Carbonite and taken aboard his ship.Machete jumps on the missile as it launches and disarms it in mid-air, while Voz boards the ship and departs with the Zaror clones, his supporters, as well as Luz. The disarmed missile then plunges into the Rio Grande and Machete is rescued by President Rathcock, who asks him to follow Voz into space and kill him. Machete agrees and uses a SpaceX Falcon 9 v1.0 rocket to depart to Voz’s Station in Earth’s orbit, where he is given a laser machete to start his mission.If you saw the first one, you pretty much know what to expect and what the basic concept is. Just times that times ten and you have Machete Kills. It is just a movie where you sit and don’t think about it. Let it all happen and enjoy it. That is, of course, you like action movies where the hero chops every bad guy up and Sofia Vergara with her bra machine gun.

REVIEW: PINEAPPLE EXPRESS

CAST

Seth Rogen (50/50)
James Franco (Spring Breakers)
Danny McBride (Land of The Lost)
Kevin Corrigan (The Get Down)
Craig Robinson (This Is the End)
Gary Cole (Office Space)
Rosie Perez (The Other Guys)
Ed Begley Jr. (Veronica mars)
Nora Dunn (2 Broke Girls)
Amber Heard (Zombieland)
Joe Lo Truglio (Superbad)
Cleo King (Mike & Moly)
Bill Hader (Power Rangers)
James Remar (Gotham)
Ken Jeong (The Hangover)

In 1937, a military facility is on watch behind a two-way mirror as a soldier, smoking marijuana, begins to reveal very graphically what he hates about the army, but still remains euphoric. A high-ranking officer immediately closes the project and deems marijuana illegal. Seventy years later, Dale Denton, a 25-year-old process server and habitual marijuana smoker, makes a visit to the home of his drug dealer, Saul Silver, to buy marijuana. Saul tells him that he may already know the identity of Dale’s next customer, Ted Jones. Dale drives to Ted’s house and witnesses Ted and a police officer, Officer Carol Brazier, shoot a man to death. Dale panics and flees the area, but leaves his roach at the scene, which contains a rare strain of marijuana called Pineapple Express. Ted is able to identify the strain and sends his two henchmen, Budlofsky and Matheson to a dealer, Red, who tells them that he has only sold the pot to Saul.

Dale flees to Saul’s apartment and learns that Ted is a dangerous drug lord and could trace the roach back to Saul. Dale and Saul flee into the nearby woods while Ted’s henchmen persuade Red to arrange a meeting with Saul. They accidentally fall asleep in Dale’s car and wake up to find that they missed their meeting with Red. They leave the woods and arrive at Red’s house, hoping to determine whether Ted has linked them with the Pineapple Express. Red says Ted isn’t after them but Dale realizes that he’s lying, and starts a fight that results in Red getting knocked out. They wake Red and question him until he reveals that Ted has discovered who they are and is going to kill them. Dale and Saul decide that they must leave the city.

In order to leave town, Dale and Saul sell some Pineapple Express to raise bus fare. However, a police officer named Barber sees Dale and arrests him for selling marijuana. In the back of the cruiser, Dale tries to convince Barber that Brazier is corrupt and tells her that he witnessed her and Ted murder a man. Barber recognizes Brazier and promises him that she will investigate her soon since Barber had been long suspicious of Brazier’s corruption. However, Saul leaps out in front of the police car and hijacks it thinking that Brazier is the one driving. Brazier hears a police radio call of Dale’s arrest and pursues Dale and Saul in a high-speed chase but they manage to escape. After an argument with each other about the situation they are in, Dale and Saul go their separate ways. Saul visits his grandmother in an assisted living home, but is kidnapped and held hostage in Ted’s lair beneath a barn. Dale enlists Red to help him rescue Saul but Red unexpectedly backs out at the last minute and Dale is captured. While Dale and Saul are held hostage, they reconcile with each other and make plans to escape.

Suddenly, Asian mobsters attack the barn to avenge a fellow gangster’s death at the hands of Ted and Officer Brazier (the same murder that Dale witnessed). Dale and Saul finally free themselves but are caught by Matheson. Matheson grazes Dale’s ear with a gunshot but is disarmed and shot by Saul. Dale and Saul join the fight and a brawl ensues between Dale and Ted. When Budlofsky refuses to kill Saul, Matheson emerges from the lair and shoots him in the chest, killing him. He turns around to kill Saul but Red drives through the barn and saves Saul by hitting Matheson with his car. Red is then seemingly shot to death by Brazier. One of the mobsters activate a bomb, resulting in Ted’s death, and setting fire to the barn. When Red’s car explodes, it flips over and lands on Brazier, killing her. The explosion incapacitates Saul but Dale finds him and carries him out of the burning barn. Red, wounded but still alive, also escapes and reconciles with them. Afterwards they eat breakfast at a diner and talk about their adventure before Saul’s grandmother picks them up and takes them to the hospital.

There are a lot of reasons why Pineapple Expresswon’t work for many people, and they will probably end up being the very reasons the film works for those who like it. The film’s plot is inherently silly to an extent and one must be prepared for an outright comedy and not something in the vein of Knocked Up. Pineapple Express may end up being more enjoyable for stoners and those with friends who are stoners, but it works on its own as great comedy because the humor has much more range and scope than just marijuana. One of the best comedies in years.

REVIEW: THE CLEVELAND SHOW – SEASON 1-4

MAIN CAST

Mike Henry (Family Guy)
Sanaa Lathan (Blade)
Nia Long (Stigmata)
Reagan Gomez-Preston (Jerry Maguire)
Kevin Michael Richardson (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2012)
Jason Sudeikis (Son of Zorn)
Seth MacFarlane (Ted)
Jess Harnell (Animaniacs)
Arianna Huffington (Edtv)
Jamie Kennedy (Son of The Mask)
David Lynch (Twin Peaks)
Aseem Batra (Scrubs)

RECURRING / NOTABLE GUEST CAST

Alex Borstein (Faily Guy)
Fergie (Nine)
Seth Green (Idle Hands)
Corey Holcomb (The Wedding Ringer)
Mila Kunis (Bad Moms)
Jennifer Tilly (Curse of Chucky)
Fred Tatasciore (Hulk Vs)
Patrick Warburton (Ted)
Kristen Bell (The Good Place)
Glenn Howerton (That 80s Show)
Nat Faxon (Reno 911)
Maurice LaMarche (Futurama)
Marina Sirtis (Star Trek: TNG)
Frances Callier  (He’s Just Not That Into You)
Craig Robinson (This Is The End)
Will Forte (The Lego Movie)
Stockhard Channing (The Business of Strangers)
Jane Lynch (Glee)
Lucas Grabeel (Smallville)
Josh Gad (Frozen)
Edward Asner (Elf)
Will Sasso (Movie 43)
Matthew Morrison (Glee)
Kanye West (Anchorman 2)
Bebe Neuwirth (Jumanji)
Kit Pongetti (Scrubs)
Taraji P. Henson (Hidden Figures)
Keke Palmer (Scream Queens)
Nancy Cartwright (The Simpsons)
Emily Deschanel (Bones)
Lea Michele (Scream Queens)
Mike Judge (King of The Hill)
Quinton “Rampage” Jackson (The A-Team)
Rob Riggle (21 Jump Street)
Niecy Nash (scream Queens)
Dawnn Lewis (Futurama)
Carl Reiner (Two and a Half Men)
Amber Heard (Zombieland)
Cory Monteith (Glee)
Wilmer Valderrama (That 70s Show)
Vincent Katheiser (Angel)
Christine Lakin (Family Guy)
Justin Timberlake (The Social Network)
Will.i.am (X-Men Origins)
James Karen (Wall Street)
Lizzy Caplan (Cloverfield)
Sofia Vergara (Machete Kills)
Hank Azaria (The Simpsons)
Eliza Dushku (Tru Calling)
Mark Hamill (Star Wars)
Katee Sackhoff (Battlestar Galactica)
Danny Trejo (Machete)
Robert Rodriguez (Sin City)
Ric Flair (Uncle Grandpa)
John Slattery (Mad Men)
Owain Yeoman (Supergirl)
Tom Kenny (Super Hero Squad)
Rosie Perez (Pineappe Express)
Edy Ganem (Devious Maids)
Ella North (Criminal Minds)
Florence Henderson (The BRady Bunch)
Rutina Wesley (Hannibal)
Darren Criss (Glee)
Bryan Cranston (Argo)
Loretta Devine (Crash)
Phylicia Rashad (Creed)
Will Arnett (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)
Krysten Ritter (Jessica Jones)
Jan Hooks (3rd Rock From The Sun)

This is a good solid comedy who everybody should enjoy, it can have some abusive language but it is expected to as this is from the same minds who thought up Family Guy but in this they make it funny rather than offensive. I would reccomend this product to anyone and tell others who sometimes get a product based on the strength of different reviews is to ignore those who have given one star as they are all people criticize it for essentially not being Family Guy or American Dad.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS ARE

1.1) Pilot

After having his house damaged by Peter once again, Cleveland Brown and Cleveland Jr decide to leave Quahog and head to California to pursue his dream of being a minor league scout for a professional baseball organization. While passing through his hometown of Stoolbend, Virginia he bumps into his old flame, Donna Tubbs. She invites him to stay at her house for a couple of days, where Donna relays to Cleveland how she needs a father figure around for her kids after splitting with her husband, Robert. While at Donna’s house, he is introduced to Rallo and Roberta, Donna’s kids, and the neighbors, including the local redneck and the family of bears, which include father Tim, his wife, and son Raymond.

1.2) Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance

Cleveland tries to make inroads with his new stepdaughter Roberta by asking her to accompany him to the school’s father/daughter dance. Last year Robert did not show up. The evening seems to be going smoothly until Cleveland runs over the family pet on his way to get an ice cream cake for celebration. Then his redneck neighbor Lester takes it and eats it. This kills his chances of being accepted by his new kids. Rallo and Cleveland look for meadowlark lemon and Cleveland dives in nasty places looking to keep the secret but Lester and the others tell him to be honest

1.3) The One About Friends

Cleveland notices his son, Cleveland Jr. has no friends, and sets out to find him a good friend. He finds out that Lester’s son, Ernie, has no friends, which Cleveland realizes is a perfect opportunity to have his son make friends with another friendless child. It goes well, but things take a turn for the worse. Ernie leaves his family and joins the Brown family, much to their dismay. Ernie is unsanitary and disgusting, which pushes Donna to make Cleveland call child services and get Ernie back in his home.

1.4) Birth of a Salesman

Cleveland looks for a job, first trying to be a grizzled police officer two days from retirement and also as a singing salesman at the Stoolbend Flea Market. Tim helps him get a job at Waterman Cable as a phone solicitor. Cleveland runs into an old high-school friend, Terry Kimple who is working as a cable installer for Waterman. When they were in school, Terry took the rap when they were busted for drugs. When Cleveland excels as a salesman, causing business to dry up for Tim, Tim prays for bad things to happen to Cleveland. Meanwhile, Roberta and Rallo feel resentment towards Cleveland Jr. for stealing their mother’s affections from them and try to make him look bad until they learn the true extent of his feelings towards his own mother.

1.5) Cleveland Jr.’s Cherry Bomb

While watching a baseball game at Stoolbend Stadium, Cleveland sees Roberta kissing with Federline Jones. Cleveland tries to talk to Roberta about maintaining her virginity but while she admits she has yet to do anything, makes it clear that it is none of his business. Following the advice of his friends, he takes the family to church to hear about maintaining purity. Cleveland Jr. gets carried away in the moment and pledges his purity to Cleveland’s dismay.

1.7) A Browns Thanksgiving

Cleveland celebrates his first Thanksgiving with his new family. His parents, Cookie Brown and Levar ‘Freight Train’ Brown arrive for Thanksgiving. Cleveland’s dismal relationship with his father nearly lands him in a fight with his own father, until Donna’s Auntie Momma shows up. She starts making comments on how outrageous she is after farting. Freight Train gains an infatuation over Auntie Momma and decides to have sex with her after a game of football. However, when Cleveland was taking out the garbage, he saw Auntie Momma in the bathroom, with a penis. Despite that Freight Train had sex with Auntie Momma (who secretly is a man), he did not even know about it.

1.9) A Cleveland Brown Christmas

Cleveland and the family go to pick out a Christmas tree at Lester’s lot. Cleveland has his eye on a nice large tree but Rallo insists on a smaller tree. Cleveland finds out that Donna and the family have been lying to Rallo, telling him the reason Robert cannot come around during the holidays is that he is an FBI agent. When Cleveland fills in as Santa Claus at his office holiday party, he has one too many egg nogs and lets the truth slip about Rallo’s father. Rallo fails to connect that it was Cleveland posing as Santa and takes out his hostility on the figure of Santa. With Rallo’s admiration for his dad destroyed, Cleveland tries to reconnect father and son in an attempt to save Rallo’s Christmas spirit.

1.10) Field of Streams

After a nostalgic flashback to the glory days as his high school’s baseball all-star, Cleveland visits his alma mater to find out there is no longer a team because he and his friends insulted Wally as a teen. Now Principal Wally gives Cleveland one week to raise money to re-build the stadium before the season begins. They raise the cash from a generous donation by Mr. Waterman and organize the team on time. Cleveland then steps in as head coach and dusts off his retired jersey in an attempt to convince Cleveland Jr. to play ball instead of joining the math club. Cleveland Jr. turns out to have no skills, even going as far as deliberately interfering with a play to save a ladybug.

1.11) Love Rollercoaster

Cleveland Jr. is building a model rocket for the school science fair. Roberta’s new teacher, Ms. Eck challenges Roberta to prove she can get by without her looks and has her alter her appearance by wearing a ‘fat suit’. Her first day as ‘Tyra’ gets off in an inauspicious start when she is rejected by Federline and the teachers she previously had wrapped around her finger. Cleveland Jr. sees her alone in the cafeteria and warms up to her. When he shows her his model rocket, which is not only failing but is being outmatched by the geeks who are translating Klingon, she helps him with the design flaw. They win the science fair – probably because of the TIE fighters the rocket deployed to attack the geeks – and Ms. Eck gives Roberta and A Grade for proving she more than just looks.

1.12) Our Gang

When the worst kids in the school go too far and Principal Wally expels the group, Coach Cleveland comes to the rescue by taking a group of delinquent teens under his wing. In an effort to teach them life skills, he proposes they go into business making and selling cookies. The kids however, misinterpret his baking terms for drugs and start dealing. Business is good until another gang takes over the area, stealing the drugs and money from the Crazy Eights. Cleveland rushes in to steal back the goods still believing them to be cookies. When he finds out they are drugs, he destroys them by flushing them down the toilet but faces a demand to return them or lose Cleveland Jr. who was captured. Cleveland rallies the Crazy Eights but becomes endangered himself.

1.13) Buried Pleasure

At Stoolfest, a local community festival, Cleveland calls Holt to tell him of a concert. he finds Holt out shopping with his mother and unable to go. Later that night at The Broken Stool, the guys tell Holt he is too accommodating to his mother’s wishes. When Donna sees Holt in a rage from their bedroom, she shows Cleveland and when they see Holt rolling up a figure in a carpet and take it away they assume Holt killed his mother. Cleveland helps the police set up a police sting operation and get Holt to show them where he buried the body…a sex doll that Holt decided he needed to get away from. Holt admits to Cleveland he has not had luck with real women and they set Holt up with Jane, a girl from the Waterman Cable office.

1.15) Once Upon A Tyne In New York

When Donna is not thrilled by marred life, Cleveland reveals that he and Donna have not yet taken their honeymoon. When soliciting ideas from the gang, Coach McFall reveals his former fling with Tyne Daly in New York City. Inspired, Cleveland takes Donna on a road trip to the Big Apple, and to Donna’s dismay, Cleveland allows the Stoolbend gang to tag along while the kids are left with Terry. The next morning, Donna and Cleveland try to enjoy their time while the rest of the gang wander off but they soon get into trouble, requiring Cleveland to come to the rescue and break off his day with Donna. Cleveland tries to make it up by taking Donna to a Broadway show but it is a cover for helping Coach McFall reunite with Tyne Daly. When Coach McFall actually meets Tyne Daly, they find his breakup was not exactly under pleasant circumstances. Frustrated with being neglected by Cleveland, she leaves and returns to the hotel bar.

1.16) The Brown Knight

After a stressful day at the school, Donna comes home and is in no mood for Cleveland’s shenanigans. At The Broken Stool, the guys tease Cleveland about Donna running things. When he confronts Donna, she admits she had to develop a take-charge attitude to survive being a single mom but agrees to lighten up a little for Cleveland. At an ATM, a robber attempts to take their money and Donna’s wedding ring. While Donna struggles with the thief to protect her ring, Cleveland runs around helplessly. When the thief’s gun goes off and Cleveland is shot, Donna feels horrible and agrees to restrain herself more for Cleveland.

1.17) Gone With The Wind

When Cleveland is diagnosed with high cholesterol, Donna puts him on a new high-fiber diet, which causes an intestinal backlash. When it begins to affect his work, he goes to see Dr. Fist who gives him a written note card explaining that he has a medical condition which he soon takes advantage of. Cleveland quickly realizes his gas might score him a few points in the Broken Stool’s karaoke contest. Donna is appalled that Cleveland should resort to such disgusting behavior but they are interrupted by a call that brings news of Loretta’s death. Cleveland’s old friend Quagmire from Quahog arrives with the body and explains that she was accidentally killed by the bathtub falling out of the damaged house gag when Peter tried to decorate his & Lois’ bedroom with a brachiosaurus skeleton Brian dug up, but unintentionally dropped his hardhat on a lever, causing the crane to lose control and slam the skeleton on Loretta’s house, of which Cleveland had survived numerous times. Worried for Cleveland Jr., they try to break the news gently and find he has already put his mother’s death behind him. The guilt of having survived the same accident that killed Loretta multiple times causes Cleveland to break down for a while, until he realises why he is upset when Donna helps him move on as well, prior to winning the karaoke competition.

1.18) Brotherly Love

Acting as his brother’s wingman, Rallo gives Cleveland Jr. a few pointers on how to win over the girl of his dreams, Chanel. Although when Cleveland Jr. finds out that her boyfriend is local rap star Kenny West. Cleveland Jr challenges Kenny to a rap battle to win Chanel’s heart. Meanwhile, during a cable installation, Cleveland and Terry somehow get mistaken for male strippers and decide to make a new career out of it. But not if Donna has anything to say about it.

1.19) Brown History Month

Cleveland and Cleveland Jr. teach Donna and the kids their tradition of celebrating Black History Month. However, when Rallo learns about his heritage at school, he provokes Cleveland into a battle royale with neighbor, Lester.

1.20) Cleveland’s Angels

After Cleveland gambles away Roberta’s college fund, Kendra discovers that Cleveland was actually cheated out of his money and recruits Donna and Arianna for a “Cleveland’s Angels” mission.

1.21) You’re the Best Man, Cleveland Brown

Cleveland finds out that Cleveland Jr. will inherit all of his ex-wife’s belongings and that his parents, Cookie and Freight Train, plan to remarry. To add insult to injury, Freight Train dumps Cleveland as his best man in favor of Donna’s ex-husband, Robert.

2.1 ) Harder, Better, Faster, Browner

Cleveland attempts to get Kenny West’s rap career off the ground and President Barack Hussein Obama pays Stoolbend a visit.

2.2) Cleveland Live!

In an animation first, The Cleveland Show offers the audience a behind-the-scenes look at the “filming” of the episode. When Cleveland and Donna attempt to celebrate their anniversary, their unruly kids and disruptive friends, including Donna’s ex-husband, Robert, get in their way

2.3) How Cleveland Got His Groove Back

Instead of continuing on their family-heritage trip to Africa, Cleveland and the family end up turning their layover into a tropical vacation.

2.4) It’s The Great Pancake, Cleveland Brown

Cleveland crushes Cleveland Jr.’s spirit when he forbids him from trick-or-treating because he thinks he is too old. Junior reinvents himself as a “cool kid” and is invited to attend a Halloween party with Roberta. Meanwhile, Rallo goes against his mom’s wishes and eats way more Halloween candy than his teeth can handle.

2.5) Little Man on Campus

Coach Cleveland gets greedy to win the high school baseball state championship game and turns to cheating when his star pitcher goes out for the season.

2.8) Murray Christmas

When Rallo’s teacher forces him to spend the weekend at a retirement home to get to know the senior citizens during the holidays, he meets Murray, who teaches him about Hanukkah. In an attempt to rekindle Murray’s holiday spirit, Rallo helps him escape, but when his new friend’s health begins to suffer, Rallo has to bring Murray back to the home. Meanwhile, Cleveland trains for a boxing match against his bully of a father, Freight Train, which ends with some bumps and bruises.

2.9) Beer Walk

Donna, frustrated by her husband’s laziness on the weekends, nags Cleveland to help her around the house and to do something more with his life. To prove to Donna he can be as charitable as her, Cleveland recruits his buddies from Quahog and Stoolbend to participate in the First Annual Charity Beer Walk. When Donna gets injured at the event, Cleveland has to take over the housework.

2.13) A Short Story and a Tall Tale

Cleveland and Donna celebrate Valentine’s Day with a trip to Los Angeles after scoring courtside seats to the all-star basketball game featuring Kevin Garnett, Dwight Howard, LeBron James, Steve Nash, Dirk Nowitzki, Shaquille O’Neal and Dwyane Wade. Caught up in the excitement, Cleveland gets rowdy and talks smack to the players from the sideline throughout the game. The basketball champs, feeling hurt, seek revenge by paying a surprise visit to Stoolbend and putting Cleveland in his place.

2.14) Terry Unmarried

When Cleveland discovers he and his wife are not actually married, and his best friend Terry is gay and in a relationship, they all decide to go to Vermont for a double wedding; Cleveland Jr. tries to get Rallo to break a nasty habit.

2.15) The Blue, The Gray and The Brown

After Cleveland fights to save the town’s drive-in movie theater, his efforts to preserve the town’s history is noticed by the Stoolbend Preservation Society and he is invited to attend a private dinner party at the home of the great-great-grandson of the town’s founding father. While at the event, Cleveland learns of the town’s legacy and decides to take back his beloved town.

2.16) The Way The Cookie Crumbles

After Cleveland learns that his parents have been scammed out of their life savings, he plans to bring down the con man who targeted his mother.

2.18) The Essence of Cleveland

Cleveland is reunited with an old classmate “Fatty Patty”, who is now skinny and beautiful and still has a crush on Cleveland.

2.22) Hot Cocoa Bang Bang

Cleveland takes the entire family to a comic convention in an attempt to sell his comic book, “Waderman.” While there, Donna is horrified to find out that Robert Rodriguez is screening a Blaxploitation film that she starred in when she was younger, and Cleveland Jr., tired of Comic-Con being a playground for Hollywood to peddle their projects, gathers a band of geeks together to take the Con back to its true origins.

3.1) BFFs

Cleveland is upset when he finds out that his best friend Peter Griffin came to Stoolbend and did not call him to hang out. In an effort to bond with the guys, Cleveland takes them on a camping trip hosted by guest star Ric Flair.

3.2) The Hurricane!

When a storm hits Stoolbend, the Browns are forced to salvage what’s left of their vacation and Cleveland, Jr. shocks everyone with a proclamation of his religious beliefs.

3.3) Nightmare on Grace Street

Donna makes Cleveland and Rallo spend the night in a haunted house. Meanwhile, Cleveland’s new friend goes on a murderous rampage and Roberta is stuck in love triangle between a vampire and a wolf.

3.5) Yemen Party

When Donna joins a women’s support group and starts to complain about how Cleveland treats her, Cleveland dresses up as a woman to infiltrate the group and show Donna how good her life really is. Meanwhile, Cleveland Jr. and Rallo join forces to stop the playground bully, Rodney.

3.6) Sex and The Biddy

Rallo suspicions that Murray’s new girlfriend is a gold digger are confirmed, but not before it’s too late, and Cleveland finds a shortcut to working out and improving his body to impress Donna.


3.7) Die Semi-Hard

While staging their own live nativity scene, Cleveland tells his family his version of the greatest holiday-themed blockbuster movie ever told. This is the first episode parodying a film.

3.8)  Y Tu Junior Tambien

When Junior starts dating a very attractive young lady named Cecelia, Cleveland gets green with envy because Junior’s one-upped him and suspicious of her motives. When things start to get serious between the two lovers, Cleveland suspects that the young woman is using Junior to get a green card. But it goes too far. Lester calls the immigration agency, and in an attempt to keep Cecelia in the country, Cleveland Jr. marries Cecelia and moves out. Meanwhile, Junior attempts to get used to living on his own.

3.9) There Goes El Neighborhood

After getting himself into several cultural misunderstandings with his new and popular Latina neighbor, Cleveland attempts to make amends by demonstrating his knowledge of Latino culture. But Cleveland gets into a bind when he offers to babysit Choni’s son and winds up losing him. Meanwhile, Junior sets up his new wife Cecelia on a Valentine’s Day date but his jealousy gets the best of him.

3.10) Dancing With The Stools

Determined to claim the first place trophy at the annual “Dancing with the Stools” ballroom dance competition, Donna recruits Cleveland Jr. to be her partner. But their hopes of taking home the big prize misses a beat when Cleveland Jr. professes his love for Donna just moments before their well-rehearsed routine. Meanwhile, Roberta babysits Rallo for a week, and learns that domestic responsibilities are not as easy as they seem.

3.11) Brown Magic

Excited to spend quality father-stepson bonding time with Rallo, Cleveland takes Rallo to his very first magic show, where they get hired to be the opening act. Thanks to Rallo’s sharp wit in the role of the puppet, Cleveland and Rallo’s ventriloquist act becomes a hit. As their act gets rave reviews by fans and ventriloquist critic Graham Kensington, Rallo grows tired of Cleveland taking all the credit for their success. Not one to be taken for a dummy, Rallo proves that he is the heart of their comedic act.

3.15) The Men In Me

Cleveland is labeled “The Whitest Black Man in America” after he wins a dance competition for the chance to attend a pop sensation’s concert. Unable to shake off his new reputation, Cleveland is determined to understand his roots and where he came from. Everything starts to make sense when he is reunited with his former nanny Barbara (voiced by Florence Henderson), a high class woman with a taste for refined culture. But even though Cleveland’s nanny influenced many of his interests growing up, Cleveland finally learns that happiness comes from being comfortable in your own skin.

3.16) Frapp Attack!

After Donna becomes jealous when Cleveland gets too close to a female co-worker, a music video made from footage of his workplace shenanigans goes viral and attracts the attention of a big-time music producer. He is attracted to Donna as well, making Cleveland jealous.

3.17) American Prankster

One of Rallo’s pranks goes too far and gets Cleveland, Jr. kicked out of the scouts. Cleveland takes matters into his own hands and threatens to send Rallo to juvenile detention, but things backfire when Rallo runs away.

3.19) Jesus Walks

Devout church choir girl Vanessa (Fergie) catches Cleveland, Jr.’s eye, and he eagerly volunteers to go on a church trip to be in her good graces. Vanessa’s fellow choir member, Hunter (Darren Criss), confronts him for going to church for the wrong reasons, but the tables turn when Vanessa winds up being a handful for the boys. Meanwhile, Donna’s ex-boyfriend returns home from Iraq and discovers that she is married.

3.20) Flush of Genius

Cleveland Jr. profiles his dad for a report on his favorite American, but when Cleveland falls off the toilet and suffers a concussion, he loses Cleveland Jr.’s admiration. Meanwhile, Rallo gets excited when he realises he has grown tall enough to ride his favorite roller coaster.

3.21) Mama Drama

Hoping to lift Donna’s spirits on Mother’s Day, Cleveland hires an actress to play Donna’s estranged mother, Dee Dee Tubbs (Phylicia Rashād). But when an unexpected event leads the real Dee Dee to find Cleveland, he stages one last effort to reunite Donna with her mother, and the unlikely meeting helps the two women forge a new mother-daughter bond.

3.22) All You Can Eat

After Cleveland Jr. gets bullied by Oliver Wilkerson and his gang again, Roberta gives him a makeover, and his stylish new look gives him the confidence to approach Daisy, a misfit who catches his attention. But when Daisy mistakes Cleveland Jr. for a woman, they decide to make a statement and go to the prom as a gay couple. Meanwhile, Cleveland’s authority as his favorite snack food’s ultimate expert is threatened by another fan.

4.1) Escape from Goochland

Cleveland and the gang visit their rival high school in Goochland for the annual football game, but when Federline, the gang’s designated driver (who Cleveland only brought along because he was the original designated driver and he wanted to drink), destroys the car belonging to Cleveland’s nemesis Chet Butler, they must find a way to escape their enemy’s home turf. Meanwhile, Donna takes back Roberta’s Halloween hooker costume, but decides to wear it instead, and Roberta and Cleveland Jr. play pranks around Stoolbend when they dress up as Donna and Cleveland.

4.2) Menace II Secret Society

Cleveland confronts now super-famous rapper Kenny West about not sharing credit for the megahit they created together, “Be-Cleve in Yourself”. He soon discovers Kenny’s involvement in a secret hip-hop society with will.i.am, ?uestlove, Bruno Mars and Nicki Minaj. Meanwhile, Cleveland Jr. starts a polka band after being rejected by his school’s marching band.

4.3) A General Thanksgiving Episode

When Holt misses his plane to Florida for Thanksgiving, he reveals that he was not even invited to his estranged family’s holiday dinner. To help him get over his Thanksgiving blues, Rallo invites Holt’s father over for the holidays, which ends up making Holt’s family relationship worse. Meanwhile, Cleveland tries to open an airport bar, but ends up drunk and flying a stolen airplane.

4.4) Turkey Pot Die

Cleveland’s idea to take Cleveland Jr. to a turkey farm to bag one for Thanksgiving dinner does not fly with the young guy, who instead hatches a plan to free the birds. Meanwhile, Rallo and Donna team to construct a Thanksgiving Day float.

4.6) Tis The Cleveland To Be Sorry

Cleveland discovers that the food served at the local homeless shelter is much better than it is at home, so he pretends to be homeless to benefit from the meals. But when the community catches onto his ill-spirited scheme, they confront him and he must apologize to everyone. Meanwhile, chauvinistic store owner Harris Grundle hires Roberta as a Christmas elf, but requires all of Santa’s female helpers to wear sexy elf costumes.

4.8) Wide World of Cleveland Show

Cleveland hosts a special episode showing what The Cleveland Show is like in different parts of the world.

4.9) Here Comes The Bribe

After Cleveland botches his part during the renewal of their wedding vows, Donna hustles him to marriage counseling, where the mediator informs Cleveland that, for a price, he can slant the “treatments” the husband’s way. Meanwhile, Junior’s refrigerator breaks, so he and Rallo turn it into a hotel-style minibar.

4.10) When a Man (or a Freight Train) Loves His Cookie

When Freight Train misses his and Cookie’s anniversary bash, she decides to hit the road with George Clinton and the P-Funk All-Stars, leaving Freight Train and Cleveland to track her down. Meanwhile, Junior’s visit to an office-supply store sparks an elaborate fantasy.

4.11) Brownsized

With the promise of six-months severance pay (in exchange for everyone else losing their health benefits), Cleveland deep-sixes his job, but is having a tough time trying to find a way to tell Donna. Meanwhile, Federline forgets his and Roberta’s anniversary, so Rallo finds her a handsome new man, Devon (voiced by Kid Cudi), but finds that Devon is straitlaced and boring to the point of being annoying and holier than thou.

4.13) A Rodent Like This

A rat running rampant in the house sends Donna and the children to stay with her mother, while Cleveland is left behind to deal with the rodent. Reveling in having the place to himself, Cleveland soon bonds with his new pet pal, whom he names Rat Lauer. Meanwhile, Rallo and Junior play spies, but not all goes well when Junior refuses to reveal what is in his secret-agent briefcase.

4.14) The Hangover: Part Tubbs

Donna tries to run for the school board, but her plans are thwarted when Cleveland accidentally kills a new friend playing a game. Meanwhile, Cleveland Jr. discovers that he is an excellent diver, but has doubts about joining the team because of the skimpy Speedo he must wear.

4.15) California Dreamin’ (All the Cleves Are Brown)

Cleveland and his family move to California so he can pursue his dream of becoming a baseball scout.

4.16) Who Done Did It?

After Cleveland eggs Arianna’s house defending Donna’s honor, he decides to seek revenge against everyone by pelting them with eggs — which lands him in prison for killing Mr. Waterman’s sham wife, Lydia. Meanwhile, Rallo and Cleveland, Jr. discover that Freight Train writes whodunit novels under a woman’s name and become his students on how to write and solve a mystery, using Lydia Waterman’s death as inspiration for a new book.

4.17) The Fist and the Furious

Cleveland decides to make Dr. Fist  one of his friends, but fears for his safety when he discovers Dr. Fist’s mob association. Meanwhile, Rallo and Cleveland Jr. open a food truck business.

4.20) Of Lice and Men

A lice outbreak at school means Rallo must lop off his beloved Afro, and when the other kids start making fun of him, Junior has his back. Meanwhile, Cleveland house-sits at Freight Train and Cookie’s, where things take a bad turn after his pals show up.

4.21) Mr & Mrs. Brown

Donna is incensed when Cleveland and his mom are mistaken for husband and wife on a visit to a retirement home. Meanwhile, Rallo rips off a candy bar from a vendor, and then tries to get Junior to take the rap for the theft.

4.23: Wheel of Family!

Donna and Cleveland try to fix the kids’ hectic schedules, while Cleveland Jr. finds his pole-dancing talent. Cleveland later finds out that Robert and Dee-Dee have become an item, and they adopt and raise a child.

REVIEW: DRIVE ANGRY

CAST

Nicolas Cage (Gone in 60 Seconds)
Amber Heard (Justice League)
William Fichtner (The Dark Knight)
Billy Burke (Twilight)
David Morse (The Rock)
Katy Mixon (Mike & Molly)
Charlotte Ross (Arrow)
Christa Campbell (The Mechanic)
Pruitt Taylor Vince (Heroes Reborn)
Tom Atkins (Halloween III)
Jack McGee (The Fighter)

John Milton (Nicolas Cage) is an undead criminal who has broken out of Hell to kill Jonah King (Billy Burke), a cult leader who tricked Milton’s daughter into joining his followers in the wake of Milton’s death 10 years prior, only to kill her and her husband and steal their daughter -Milton’s granddaughter- to be sacrificed in a Satanist ritual, since King believes that if he kills the baby, he will unleash Hell over Earth. He also stole Satan’s personal gun, labeled The Godkiller.After interrogating and murdering some of King’s followers, Milton discovers that the ritual will take place in Stillwater, an abandoned prison in Louisiana. He heads there, but stops by a diner, where he meets Piper (Amber Heard), a waitress. Milton’s car is damaged in the pursuit, so he sabotages Piper’s car, a 1969 blue Dodge Charger R/T 440 and follows her to fix it in exchange for a ride on the way to Stillwater to find King.Entering her room, Piper walks in on her boyfriend, Frank (Todd Farmer), having sex with another woman. Piper beats up the woman and assaults Frank, getting knocked to the ground. Milton, in a phone booth nearby, hears the commotion and comes to Piper’s aid, kicking Frank in the face as he is about to continue assaulting Piper, and punching Frank repeatedly. Milton steals his car, taking Piper along with him driving to Stillwater. Meanwhile, a supernatural operative of Satan, The Accountant (William Fichtner), arrives on Earth with the mission to bring Milton back to Hell and take the rifle back. After interrogating Frank, he discovers that Milton and Piper are heading to Louisiana. After murdering Frank with a bat, he tricks a pair of state troopers into helping him by impersonating an FBI agent.At a shady hotel, Milton is attacked by King and his men, who heard about his return, but he kills most of them. The Accountant appears with the police and chases after Milton and Piper, who are chasing after King’s van. Milton uses The Godkiller to shoot the Accountant out of the road. They then follow King to a church, only to find it filled with King’s followers. They are ambushed and captured. Piper is kidnapped and Milton is shot in the eye and left for dead, but he awakens and kills King’s men before pursuing the RV once again. Inside, Piper breaks free and fights King before jumping out of the RV and onto Milton’s car. King then disables the car by repeatedly shooting its engine.Drive Angry - William FichtnerMilton and Piper then meet Milton’s friend Webster (David Morse), who provides them a new car, a 1971 red Chevrolet Chevelle SS. Piper discovers that Milton is literally undead and had to abandon his daughter to protect her from his former companions and that’s why she was so easily manipulated by King. Webster reveals that he died 10 years prior in a shootout, and that Webster personally carried his coffin. She also discovers that the Godkiller was stolen by Milton from Satan himself and has the power to completely destroy one’s soul, preventing it from going to either Heaven or Hell.

drive-angry-3d-film-reviewAfter arming himself, Milton tells Piper that he can not guarantee her safety and that she should leave, but she assures him that she has never had a worthy cause to fight for until now, and that she is with him regardless of the consequences. Milton tells Webster to stay behind, not wishing him to die. With the help of the Accountant, they evade the troops of Sheriff Cap (Tom Atkins) and finally arrive at Stillwater. The Accountant captures Piper and forces Milton to give up the Godkiller before he can engage King, but he allows Milton to go into battle against King and his followers to save his granddaughter, noting that Satan is more of a well-educated, calm warden of a very large prison, rather as a face of evil, and that he actually despises the sacrifices of innocent lives in his name.600px-drivea1911-4

While Milton slaughters King’s men before they can sacrifice the child, Piper escapes The Accountant’s clutches with the Godkiller. King eventually gets the upper hand on Milton and savagely beats him. Piper fires the Godkiller at King, but misses and hits one of his few surviving men instead. She is knocked out by the gun’s recoil. King orders one of his female servants to murder the child. However, the woman, who had been caring for the baby ever since King stole her, finds herself unable to carry out the deed, making King angry. The Accountant attracts King’s attention, allowing Milton to grab the Godkiller and shoot King, destroying his soul. The Accountant retrieves the baby. He allows Milton to say goodbye to her and Milton gives her to Piper, who promises to care for and protect her. Webster arrives and looks on as Milton “dies.”

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After both Piper and Webster have left, Milton is revealed to be still “alive” and with the Accountant. Following this, Milton makes good on his earlier promise to Webster, and nonchalantly drinks a beer out of what is left of King’s skull. He agrees to go back to Hell, but warns that if he is punished too severely for his actions, he will escape again. The Accountant claims that he looks forward to it, insinuating that chasing Milton is the most fun he has ever had. The Accountant then wiggles his keys and manifests a black 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air before throwing the keys to Milton. They then drive off into the gates of Hell.An exploitation film with cool action and all the other things you want in a movie like this.

REVIEW: ALL THE BOYS LOVE MANY LANE

CAST
Amber Heard (Machete Kills)
Anson Mount (Non-Stop)
Whitney Able (Monsters)
Michael Welch (Twilight)
Edwin Hodge (The Purge)
Melissa Price (The Kid & I)
At a Texas high school, Mandy Lane (Amber Heard) is an outsider who becomes a “hot chick” over the summer and starts getting a great deal of attention from her male classmates. One of those classmates, Dylan, invites Mandy to a pool party at his house and she accepts with the provision that her best friend, Emmet (Michael Welch) (another outsider and bullying victim), can come along with her. At the party, Dylan attacks Emmett, and holds his head under water in the pool until Mandy intercedes. As revenge, Emmet convinces a drunken Dylan to jump off the roof into the pool, but he hits his head on the cement and dies.
Nine months later, Mandy has since befriended many of Dylan’s popular friends, while Emmet has been almost completely ostracized and is subjected to even more intense bullying. Stoner Red is having a small party at his father’s cattle ranch and invites Mandy along, which she accepts after receiving permission from her aunt.
Mandy, Chloe, Bird, Red, Jake, and Marlin, arrive at the ranch, and meet the ranch hand, Garth (Anson Mount). That night, while playing drinking games, Jake gets offended over a joke and storms off to a nearby cattle barn, where Marlin performs oral sex on him. They have another argument, and after he walks off again, Marlin is knocked out with a double-barreled shotgun by an unseen assailant, and has her jaw broken. After getting rebuffed by Mandy while making a move, Jake steals Red’s shotgun and pickup truck and goes off in search of Marlin, before finding her sitting by a lake. The hooded killer is revealed to be Emmet, as he wants revenge for all the humiliation he suffered. He proceeds to shoot Jake in the head and then break Marlin’s neck with the butt of the shotgun, killing them both. While the remaining friends sit on the house porch, Emmet shoots fireworks at them from Red’s truck; Bird gives chase, believing the driver to be Jake. When he realises it is in fact Emmet, they get into a fight, which results in Emmet slashing his eyes with a knife, and then stabbing him to death. The rest of friends, along with Garth, fall asleep in the house.
The next morning, Garth, sensing someone in the house, goes downstairs and finds the words “wake up” spelled out in bloody alphabet magnets on the refrigerator. As the group attempts to flee out the front door, Garth is shot by Emmet and wounded. While Mandy looks after Garth, Red and Chloe try to run to Chloe’s car, but Red is shot in the back by Emmet, who then chases after Chloe in her car. Mandy retrieves the keys to Garth’s Bronco from his shack and finds the bloody knife that Emmet used to kill Bird. She goes outside to find Chloe being chased in her direction; Mandy embraces her, but then stabs her in the stomach, revealing that she is helping Emmet with the murders. She leaves her to bleed to death (her fate is left unknown) and meets up with Emmet. Mandy and Emmet then discuss their suicide pact they had planned but she refuses to go through with it. Refusing to let her back down, Emmet prepares to shoot her but Garth intervenes by wounding Emmet with his shotgun, before being nearly killed. An irritated Emmet chases Mandy into the fields, where they both fall into a ditch filled with cattle carcasses and get into a fight; Mandy manages to hold out against Emmet’s repeated attempts to swipe her with his machete, and finally hacks him to death with his own machete which was stuck to a tree log. She returns to the critically injured but still alive Garth, and they both drive away from the ranch, where Garth thanks Mandy for saving him, incorrectly assuming her to be a victim in Emmet’s murder plot.
A flashback shows the group back at a railroad track, where they took a break from their drive. While they are all goofing off, Mandy is shown balancing on the tracks, watching her future victims
All the Boys Love Mandy Lane isn’t your average slasher film and that’s its biggest strength as it brings something fresh to the table.This is worth seeing for the ending alone as while it does reveal why the killer is doing what they’re doing and things of that nature, it leaves a lot of things open ended.

REVIEW: ALPHA DOG

CAST

Emile Hirsch (Speed Racer)
Justin Timberlake (The Social Network)
Ben Foster (The Punisher)
Shawn Hatosy (The Faculty)
Anton Yelchin (Star Trek)
Sharon Stone (Total Recall)
Bruce Willis (Die Hard)
Chris Marquette (Freddy vs Jason)
Dominique Swain (Praire Fever)
Olivia Wilde (Cowboys & Aliens)
Amanda Seyfried (Ted 2)
Vincent Kartheiser (Angel)
Lukas Haas (Mars Attacks)
Heather Wahlquist (John Q)
Harry Dean Stanton (Avengers Assemble)
Joshua Alba (Unrest)
Amber Heard (Zombieland)

Johnny Truelove is a young marijuana dealer living in Southern California. His father, Sonny, supplies him with marijuana, which Johnny distributes to his gang of friends, including Jake Mazursky, who owes Johnny a $1,200 drug debt. Mazursky makes a failed attempt at asking his father, Butch, and stepmother Olivia for the money. Meanwhile, Butch and Olivia are dealing with their rebellious teenage son Zack- Jake’s half-brother. A fight breaks out between Jake and Johnny when Jake tries to pay Johnny only part of his debt. After back and forth retaliation, Johnny and his two henchmen, Frankie Ballenbacher and Tiko Martinez, go to confront Jake in person, but when they go to his house he is nowhere to be found. As they leave, they find Zack walking and decide to kidnap him with the intent of holding onto him until Jake pays his debt.
Wanting a break from his home life, Zack makes no effort to escape. Johnny pawns Zack off on Frankie, who offers him a chance to escape, but Zack declines the offer, not wanting to cause any trouble for his brother. Zack stays with Frankie at his father’s house, and the two strike up an unlikely friendship. The next day, he ingratiates himself with Frankie’s friends, including Keith Stratten and Julie, the youngest member of the group. A number of friends of the gang learn of Zack’s kidnapping, though Susan is the only one who seems concerned. Frankie grows nervous when Johnny tells him they could be in serious trouble for the kidnapping, and hypothetically offers him $2,500 to murder Zack. Frankie furiously declines and Johnny claims it was just a joke. Instead, Johnny agrees to Frankie’s plan to pay Zack to keep his mouth shut. However, after a threatening phone call from Jake, and his lawyer who reveals that he could face life in prison for kidnapping, he decides the risk of ending up dead or in prison is too great to let Zack go. Johnny calls Elvis Schmidt and offers to erase his drug debt if he kills Zack. Frankie and his friends still believe Zack will be returning home at the end of the night and throw a raucous going away party. Zack has a good time at the party and later goes skinny-dipping with Julie and her friend Alma in the pool, which leads to a three-some. After the party, Julie gives Zack her number and Alma gives him a good-bye kiss on the cheek.
Elvis arrives at the hotel where Zack is waiting to be picked up, and Frankie and Elvis begin to argue when Elvis reveals that Johnny has sent him there to kill Zack. Frankie ends up leaving, and Elvis takes Keith to dig a grave. Frankie offers Zack a final opportunity to escape, but believing that he is now part of the group and will be returning home soon, Zack prefers to wait at the hotel for Elvis to return. Meanwhile, Sonny, Cosmo (Johnny’s godfather), and Johnny’s lawyer confront Johnny, who refuses to call off the hit. Elvis and Keith return to the hotel, and Frankie and Elvis go outside to talk. Frankie, reluctant because of the friendship he has formed with Zack, finally relents when Elvis tells him they could face life in prison if Zack tells someone what happened.
Frankie, Elvis, Zack, and Keith arrive at the grave site. Zack is not aware of what’s going on and grows suspicious when a deeply saddened Keith tells Frankie he can’t go through with it, and goes to wait in the car after giving Zack a goodbye hug. Zack sees the grave and begins to break down, begging Frankie and Elvis to let him go. Frankie tells Elvis they shouldn’t go through with it, but Elvis is keen on the job he’s been given. Frankie calms Zack down, and ties him up with duct tape. He is surprised when Elvis knocks Zack into the grave with a shovel, and shoots him multiple times with an automatic Tec 9, killing him.
Zack’s body is found three days later. The epilogue shows the aftermath of the crime: Olivia, now suffering from obesity and depression, is interviewed, and talks candidly about her failed suicide attempts and the loss that she has experienced from her son’s death. Susan angrily confronts Frankie over Zack’s death and goes to the authorities. Elvis is caught while trying to secure a ride out of L.A. Johnny flees the city and arrives at the house of old classmate Buzz Fecske, who drives him back to his godfather Cosmo’s house, where he enters and is not seen again. Tiko, Keith and Frankie are arrested. After being convicted, they all serve their respective sentences: Tiko serves nine years in prison for kidnapping; Keith serves time at a juvenile facility until the age of 25 for digging Zack’s grave; Frankie serves seven years to life for kidnapping and second-degree murder; and Elvis is put on death row for murdering Zack. Johnny, however, is nowhere to be found. The interviewer asks Sonny how Johnny was able to escape authorities for four years without help, but Sonny assures him that he doesn’t know where Johnny is. In 2005, after over five years of being on the America’s most wanted list, Johnny is finally found and arrested in Paraguay. Text informs the audience that Johnny is in California awaiting trial, and, if proven guilty, faces the death penalty.
Alpha Dog is based on the real life story of LA drug dealer Jesse James Hollywood who may just have a sillier name than his onscreen counterpart.  The story jumps around a lot but there are some very well filmed and well acted moments that make this better than just another LA crime film.

REVIEW: ZOMBIELAND

CAST

Jessie Eisenberg (Batman v Superman)
Woody Harrelson (The Hunger Games)
Emma Stone (Birdman)
Abigail Breslin (Scream Queens)
Amber Heard (Machete Kills)
Bill Murray (St. Vincent)

Right from the start Zombieland is in your face. The opening sequence alone is just great and recalls Max Brooks’ The Zombie Survival Guide. Also, it doesn’t try to copy any of the other countless zombie movies.

It’s a very direct film that doesn’t waste time with needless character buildup, that would only slow the pacing. Characterization is achieved in between humor and action sequences and that approach works well. Zombieland starts by introducing the overly cautious and neurotic, Columbus. Columbus is the quiet geeky guy who probably spent his high school years over thinking every detail and was quite possibly bullied by jocks. Now in a zombie infested world, he is forced to become more manly and athletic when taking on the undead. Then there’s Tallahassee, who is the gung ho bad ass. I think every zombie movie needs a Tallahassee type because they are so much fun to watch. Harrelson really steals the show in Zombieland. I don’t think I’ve seen him this good since Oliver Stone’s Natural Born Killers. He looks like he could have fun in any situation in life pre or post zombie infected. I like the scene where Tallahassee is standing next to a bright yellow Hummer and just randomly firing a machine gun.


Next up are the manipulating sisters, Little Rock and Wichita, who are both cute and annoying. I was annoyed with their characters at first and as their characters developed they became a little more tolerable. You also need sisters like this in a post zombie world because they will keep you on your toes. They are fun in their own ways and have both survived tough times together. Their strong bond makes them believable and you accept them for who they are.


With all the wonder characters and backgrounds aside, this is really about killing zombies. Who doesn’t want to roam America’s highways shooting zombies? It’s the ultimate road movie, as the four travel together and fight hundreds of zombies along the way. As much fun as that is, the ending sequence at the amusement park, cranks up the fun a lot higher. The combination of rides, amusement park games, and shooting zombies is very entertaining. Director Ruben Fleischer does a tremendous job directing action in the last half of Zombieland. That’s what these movies are all about to me.

The cheap thrills of just going for it and taking out all that pent up aggressive shooting, stabbing, running over, hammering, and beating the undead any way you can. Overall Zombieland is a lot of fun and a good way to kick off  a Halloween season.