REVIEW: SOUTH PARK – DANCES WITH SMURFS

 

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MAIN CAST

Trey Parker (Tales From The Crapper)
Matt Stone (Orgazmo)

untitled

DANCES WITH SMURFS

1313_cartmanAsWendyGordon Stoltski, a third grader who reads the South Park Elementary morning announcements, is shot to death by a jealous husband mistaking him for a 40-year-old truck driver with a similar name (Gordon Saltski) who had an affair with his wife, which the entire school hears due to it being heard over the intercom. During a memorial service at the gymnasium, guidance counselor Mr. Mackey announces the school will seek a replacement. Cartman gets the job after sabotaging the efforts of a talented student named Casey Miller. However, during his first announcement, Cartman is very critical of the school and makes politically charged accusations against student body president Wendy Testaburger. Principal Victoria asks Cartman to stick to the script during announcements, but he accuses her of trying to silence him, and brings in the American Civil Liberties Union to ensure his freedom of speech. Cartman’s announcements are soon broadcast as the politically themed “EC” show on televisions placed in each classroom. On his set’s chalkboard he uses the first letters of keywords that he writes to spell out Wendy’s intent to “kill Smurfs” which concerns Butters and some other students. When they confront Wendy, she simply refuses to acknowledge CartmanEric_Cartman_Meets_The_SmurfsCartman starts selling copies of his book, What Happened to My School?, outside the cafeteria where Stan confronts him. Angry because of Cartman’s outrageous sexual lies about Wendy in his book, Stan tries to convince Cartman to stop selling the books to no avail. Principal Victoria and Mr. Mackey again confront Cartman, and force him to stop selling his books on school grounds. This upsets Cartman, who accuses them of turning the school into a “socialist horrorland”, and insists he is leaving the school. The next day, however, he appears on his show and spins a portrayal of himself in blue face-paint and suspenders, having somehow found Smurfland, becoming part of Smurf culture and eventually falling in love with Smurfette. Cartman then claims that Wendy bulldozed Smurfland and slaughtered the Smurfs to get their valuable Smurfberries, the complete story of which he has chronicled in his DVD, “Dances with Smurfs”. Despite the fact that it is extremely obvious that the footage of “Wendy” was Cartman in disguise, Butters and a furious mob of students go to Wendy’s house to confront her. Butters pees on her front door and demands that she go on Cartman’s morning announcements show to answer his questions.south-park-season-13-13-dances-with-smurfsOn the “EC” set the next morning a reluctant Wendy joins a gray side-burned Cartman who promises he will stick to school-related questions and go easy on her. However, as soon as filming begins, he immediately asks about her rumoured promiscuity and involvement in the Smurf genocide. To Cartman’s surprise, Wendy claims she indeed bulldozed Smurfland to get the valuable Smurfberries, but alludes that Cartman was involved with the plot, and that the Smurfs would have left Smurfland if Cartman had not integrated himself with them. She steps down as student body president, turning the title over to Cartman, and announces her own new book Going Rogue on the Smurfs. Cartman is angry that she has turned the tables on him and stolen his Smurf idea, particularly when she announces she sold the movie rights to director James Cameron, who turned the book into his new film, Avatar. With being the student body president, Cartman can’t do the morning announcements anymore because a student can’t hold both positions at the same time. Cartman, much to his anger, also learns that being the student body president is a meaningless position with no real power. The episode ends with Casey Miller reading the announcements, which include a student’s explicit letter of disgust for Cartman’s performance as president, causing him to run out the room crying, “I’m doing the best I can!”south-park-s13e13c08-living-with-the-smurfs-16x9The real accomplishment of this episode is how it totally roasted a semi-political figure, without being political at all

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