MAIN CAST (VOICES)
Dan Castellaneta (Fantastic Four)
Julie Kavner (Dr. Dolittle)
Nancy Cartwright (Kim Possible)
Yeardley Smith (As Good as It Gets)
Harry Shearer (Godzilla)
Hank Azaria (Mystery Men)
Maggie Roswell (Pretty In Pink)
Paula Anka (Ordinary Magic)
Phil Hartman (Jingle All The Way)
Tress MacNeille (Futurama)
Robert Englund (A Nightmare on Elm Street)
Kathie Lee Gifford (Hercules)
Ed McMahon (The Match Game)
Regis Philbin (Cheaper By The Dozen)
Jerry Springer (Ringmaster)
Tom Arnold (True Lies)
Dick Clark (The Dick Clark Show)
Lucy Lawless (Ash Vs Evil Dead)
Frank Welker (Transformers)
TREEHOUSE OF HORROR VI
Attack of the 50 Foot Eyesores
In a parody of the 1958 film, Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, Homer goes to Lard Lad Donuts to get a “colossal doughnut.” Upon realizing that the colossal doughnut is the name of the doughnut that Lard Lad holds and colossal doughnuts that size do not exist, he denounces the store and vows to get a colossal (sized) doughnut. That night, he steals the giant doughnut from the Lard Lad statue in front of the store. In the midst of a freak storm, Lard Lad and other giant advertising statues come to life to terrorize Springfield. Homer eventually returns the donut to Lard Lad, but that does not stop Lard Lad and his friends from causing any more destruction. Lisa goes to the ad agency that created those advertising characters, and an executive suggests the citizens stop paying attention to the monsters as they are advertising gimmicks, and attention is what keeps them motivated. He suggests a jingle will help distract people from watching the monsters. Lisa and Paul Anka later perform a catchy song and the citizens of Springfield stop looking at the monsters, who lose their powers and become lifeless, except for Lard Lad, who manages to tempt Homer into looking into his donut, stating that it now has sprinkles. Homer falls for it, but Bart and Lisa pull him away from it, threatening to poke out Homer’s eyes if he does not comply, much to Homer’s anger. This causes Lard Lad to lose his power and become lifeless.
Nightmare on Evergreen Terrace
In a parody of A Nightmare on Elm Street, Bart has a nightmare that Groundskeeper Willie is out to kill him. He is slashed with a rake, and the scratches are still on his body after he wakes up. Many other students at Springfield Elementary School also confide they were terrorized by Willie in their nightmares. (The opening is usually cut from syndication as well as a parody of a Tex Avery cartoon featuring Bart playing catch with a frisbee with Santa’s Little Helper). When the students take a test, Martin falls asleep and is strangled to death by Willie in his dream, before waking up and dying in the real world. Bart and Lisa tell Marge about the incident and she explains Willie burned to death (on Homer’s part of turning up the heat and causing the furnace explosion that killed Willie, the school’s failure to upkeep essential maintenance such as replacing doorknobs and recharging fire extinguishers, and Homer’s misunderstanding) while the parents of the students looked on and did nothing.
Willie told the parents he would get his revenge by killing the children in their dreams, where the parents cannot protect them. Bart, Lisa and Maggie try not to fall asleep for several days, but eventually Bart decides that he is going to have to go to sleep and fight Willie in his dream. Lisa is supposed to stay awake and wake him up if he seems to be in trouble. Bart falls asleep and attempts to find Willie, who appears as a lawn mower/harvester. Bart, taunting Willie by calling him “Yard Boy” (a parody of the lawn tractor company) manages to trick Willie into mowing over a sandbox containing quicksand, and Willie sinks. Willie recovers and turns into a giant bagpipe spider and is about to kill Bart when Lisa enters, trying to wake him up. Bart realizes that since she is in the dream, that means she has also fallen asleep. At that point, Willie grabs Lisa, intending to kill her too. They are about to lose the battle when Maggie appears and uses her pacifier to seal the vent on Willie’s spider body, resulting in Willie exploding. When they wake up, they find Willie is still alive and unsuccessfully attempts to both scare them and kill them. The segment also parodies several elements of the film.
In a parody of the Twilight Zone episode, Little Girl Lost, Patty and Selma visit the Simpsons with two pillow cases full of seashells from their trip to “Sulphur Bay” from which they plan to pry hermit crabs. Homer tries to hide in a closet that Bart and Lisa have occupied, but they refuse to leave. After failing to find another hiding spot, Homer, desperate to avoid Patty and Selma, looks behind a bookcase and enters a mysterious new world in which everything is in 3D. Homer explores the peculiar area, being depicted as a 3D computer-generated character. Bart and Lisa are found by Selma and are forced into the hermit crab work. Through the wall, he calls Marge for help. Marge summons Ned Flanders, Reverend Lovejoy, Professor Frink, Chief Wiggum, and Dr. Hibbert to help Homer escape this alternate dimension, but they are of no help. Homer explains that the world he is in looks like something from Tron, but no one understands the reference to that computer-generated film. Frink explains to the others that Homer is in a hypothetical “third dimension”.
Homer throws a cone into the floor and accidentally pierces the fabric of the space-time continuum, causing it to collapse into a wormhole and threatening to pull Homer and the rest of the dimension into a black hole. Bart takes command and enters the third dimension to save Homer, after tying a safety rope around himself. Once there, Bart tells Homer to leap over the increasingly massive wormhole. Homer, declaring this to be a “piece of cake”, leaps and falls into the hole as the universe collapses on itself. Bart, however, is pulled back into the house. Lovejoy assures Marge that Homer has gone to a better place. Meanwhile, Homer lands in a dumpster in a live-action West Hollywood. He is initially nervous and scared of his surroundings including the astonished passersby, but his troubles are soon put aside when he comes across an erotic cake shop and he goes inside.
Complex, very assured and very clever, The computer graphics are outstanding, and the final scene – as Homer enters our dimension – is one of the highlights of the entire series
TREEHOUSE OF HORROR VII
The Thing and I
In a parody of the horror stories The Hunchback of Notre-Dame (1831) and Basket Case (1982), Bart and Lisa begin to hear strange noises, and think there is something in the attic. Homer claims not to know what they are talking about, although he is later seen grabbing a bucket of fish heads and heading into the attic. Bart and Lisa investigate, and discover there really is a monster. Homer and Marge go into the attic, and Homer says: “Oh no, it escaped”. Marge immediately calls Dr. Hibbert, who explains that Bart had a conjoined twin brother named Hugo. The two were separated at birth, but it was discovered that Hugo was too evil to live in society, so the Simpsons did the “only humane thing to do”: they kept Hugo chained in the attic, where Homer fed him a platter of fish heads once a week. The rest of the family leaves to find Hugo, leaving Bart behind, but he soon discovers that Hugo never left the house. Hugo takes Bart up to the attic and ties Bart up, so that he can reattach himself. Suddenly, Dr. Hibbert finds them and knocks out Hugo, commenting that the evil twin is always on the left side. But then he realizes that Hugo’s scar is on the wrong side, and Bart is the evil twin. In a failed attempt to correct their wrong, Dr. Hibbert and the Simpson family sit down to a turkey dinner with Hugo, leaving Bart locked up in the attic eating fish heads.
The Genesis Tub
In a parody of The Twilight Zone episode, “The Little People”, Lisa performs a science experiment to see if cola will dissolve a tooth, and Bart shocks Lisa as part of his project to prove that nerds conduct electricity. The tooth is also shocked; it undergoes an unusual reaction and creates a race of miniature beings. Lisa discovers this the next day and marvels at how the people in her universe evolve at a rapid rate, going through the various ages humans have gone through into modern times and eventually, a society more advanced than current humanity. Bart destroys some of the ecosystem in Lisa’s tub universe, and the people respond, sending a squadron of space ships to attack Bart, who vows revenge on the small universe as Lisa wonders what to do. Suddenly, she is shrunk and beamed down into the tub, where the citizens explain that they regard her as God, and they want her to do something about Bart, whom they regard as the Devil. She says she can help them if they can unshrink her, but they tell her they have not figured out the technology to do that. This angers Lisa, since they should have had both technologies figured out before shrinking her. At the same time, Bart grabs the tub and submits it in the science fair, and Lisa is forced to watch from within as Bart wins first prize. Realizing that she is now stuck in the small universe forever and having somehow lost her slippers, the very bitter Lisa orders her citizens to grovel and bring her some shoes, with one of the citizens adding that he will get some socks for her, too.
While out fishing, Homer is abducted by the two aliens Kang and Kodos. When they demand that Homer point them towards Earth’s leader, Homer informs them of the then-upcoming presidential election and says the winner could be either Bill Clinton or Bob Dole. Kang and Kodos kidnap both Dole and Clinton, placing them in suspended animation tubes and assuming their forms through “bio-duplication” to ensure that one of them will become the next leader. Before returning Homer to Earth, the aliens soak him in rum, so nobody will believe him. As the election nears, the impostor candidates are seen to be acting strangely, holding hands in public and making bizarre declarations in unhumanlike monotone. Later on, Homer stumbles upon the badly hidden spaceship and tries to save the real Dole and Clinton, with both candidates agreeing they should join forces to defeat the aliens; however, Homer accidentally ejects them into space, killing them. On the day before the election, Homer crashes the spaceship into the Capitol and successfully reveals the candidates’ real identities. However, despite being exposed, Kang and Kodos declare to the people that they have to choose between one of them because “it’s a two-party system”, since it is too late to get new candidates. One man in the crowd announces that he will vote for a third-party candidate, but Kang and Kodos mockingly encourage him to “go ahead and throw your vote away”. As such, Kang is subsequently elected President and quickly enslaves all of humanity into building a giant ray gun to aim at an unknown planet, while Homer smugly states that at least he voted for Kodos.
Another Simpsons classic episode, especially the final segment.
TREEHOUSE OF HORROR VIII
The HΩmega Man
In a parody of The Ωmega Man, Mayor Quimby generates controversy after making an offensive joke about France. After refusing to apologize, the French president launches a neutron bomb directly into Springfield. Homer had been inspecting a bomb shelter he was considering buying from Herman’s military surplus store. After the blast Homer emerges from the shelter and seems to be the only person in town to have survived. Sorrowful at first, he quickly cheers up once he realizes he can now do whatever he pleases. After a spree of doing just that, Homer is soon confronted by a band of Springfield citizens who have become mutants. They say that they want to create a perfect world in which the mistakes of the past will be eliminated – including Homer. Homer flees in a hearse and arrives at his home where he finds that his family survived the blast because their house was protected by its layers of lead paint. and a cardboard box deemed a bomb shelter by Homer. Seeing Homer reunited with his family, the mutants see the error of their ways. They hope they can build a Utopian society with the Simpsons, but Marge and the children kill them with shotguns that they were hiding behind their backs. The family then head off to steal some Ferraris.
Fly vs. Fly
In a parody of The Fly, Homer buys a matter teleporter from Professor Frink’s yard sale. Bart asks if he can use it, but Homer refuses. That night, Bart tries to sneak Snowball II into the teleporter and at the same time, Santa’s Little Helper jumps in. The pets come out of the machine as a creature with a dog’s head at one end of its body and a cat’s head at the other. A second creature with a tail at each end of its body emerges shortly afterwards. A fly lands on Bart’s arm and thinking that he will become a mutant superhero, Bart grabs the fly and steps into the teleporter. He comes out with his normal head, but with the fly’s body whilst the fly has his body. The rest of the family wakes up and sees Bart’s body with a fly’s head and decide that it must still be Bart and accept him as he is. The real Bart tries to convince the fly into going back into the teleporter, but the fly attempts to eat Bart, who later enlists help from Lisa. The fly overhears their conversation and chases Lisa into the kitchen where it tries to kill her. Bart tries to stop the fighting, but is quickly eaten by the fly. Lisa then sees this as an opportunity to undo the process and pushes the fly into the teleporter. Bart comes out the other end, now with his head back on his real body. Homer then pulls out an axe, making it appear that he is about the destroy the machine, but then angrily chases Bart around the house for messing with it.
In a parody of The Crucible, which takes place in 1649, the town is witness to many witch burnings. In the church, the townspeople try to figure out whom to condemn next. People begin accusing others and soon they erupt into chaos, until Marge intervenes. She tries to talk sense into the townspeople, but Moe accuses her of being a witch. Quimby assures her that she is entitled to due process which means she will be thrown off a cliff with a broomstick; if she is a witch she will be able to fly to safety, in which case the authorities expect her to report back for punishment. If she is not a witch, then she will fall to an honorable Christian death. Lisa tries to speak on her mother’s behalf, but to no avail and Marge gets shoved off the cliff. Marge flies up on the broomstick revealing that she really is a witch and vows to conquer the whole entire town. She returns to her elder sisters Patty and Selma in their mountain lair; she is sad because they had forced her to leave her family. The sisters watch Ned and Maude Flanders talking about how the witches eat children, which gives them the notion to do just that. They knock on the Flanders’ door and demand their sons. Before they leave, Maude offers the witches gingerbread men instead. The witches like these better than the children and let Rod and Todd go. They go to each house, getting goodies in exchange for not eating the children (though they already actually had eaten some beforehand). As they fly off, the Sea Captain says that is how the tradition of Halloween and trick-or-treating started. The scene then jumps to the following year in the same town where everyone is dressed in costumes and comparing treats. Homer and several others egg a house for not responding, until Lisa points out that it is their own house, making everyone laugh. Homer then accuses her of being a witch and everyone proceeds to chase her in the moonlight.
Another good selection of Halloween capers especially Marge being a Witch.
TREEHOUSE OF HORROR IX
Snake is arrested for smoking inside the Kwik-E-Mart. Chief Wiggum explains that as this is Snake’s third strike, he will be executed in accordance with the new law. Before hauling Snake away, Chief Wiggum helpfully points out that Apu, Moe, and Bart are all witnesses; Snake vows to kill all of them. Snake is executed in the electric chair on World’s Deadliest Executions, hosted by Ed McMahon and proudly broadcast on Fox. Chief Wiggum sends the body to the hospital to be used up for organ donations (Barney calls out “dibs on the liver”).
Shortly afterward, Homer visits Dr. Nick, who transplants Snake’s hair onto Homer’s head. When Homer goes to sleep the following night, it plants its roots in Homer’s brain. With the hair controlling his mind, Homer (who begins to speak with Snake’s voice) murders Apu by drowning him in his own Squishee machine. The next day, Homer goes to Moe’s Tavern, where he removes Moe’s heart with a corkscrew. Bart realizes that the other two witnesses have been killed, and Homer vows to protect him. Homer locks himself and Bart in a room, but Snake’s hair takes control of him. Homer tries to kill Bart with a sledgehammer. Bart begs Homer to fight the hair and, after a struggle, Homer rips the hair off his head. The hair tries to smother Bart (like the Facehugger) but Homer defends his son by punching the hair.Wiggum bursts through the door with the intention of arresting Homer for the murder of Moe (not being able to say Apu’s last name, he settled for just the murder of Moe). Homer states the hair is the killer, which makes a jump for the window. Wiggum opens fire and the hair is shot dead. Maggie picks up the hair and lays her head on it as a cushion. Chief Wiggum jokes “now that’s a bad hair day”; everyone laughs except Marge who reminds everyone that two well known people of Springfield have been murdered, only to suddenly get the joke, and joins in with the laughter.
The Terror of Tiny Toon
Marge forbids Bart and Lisa from watching the Itchy & Scratchy Halloween special, and takes the batteries out of the TV’s remote control. When Marge leaves, Bart finds a small piece of highly unstable plutonium in Homer’s toolbox and hammers it into the remote’s battery slot. When they use the remote, the kids actually enter the world of Itchy and Scratchy after they accidentally press the Enter button while Lisa tries to get the remote control from Bart. They watch Itchy decapitate Scratchy and use his head as a jack-o’-lantern. While the two laugh, Scratchy’s head asks why Bart and Lisa are laughing to which Itchy replies that they are laughing at his pain. Because of this, Scratchy reattaches his head and forms a partnership with Itchy to “teach them a lesson”. Back in the Simpson house, Homer enters the living room and watches the show. Bart and Lisa go through life-death situations such as Itchy lighting up a cannon while Scratchy loads it with various weapons. Homer (oblivious to what he sees on the TV) decides to change the channel, and Bart, Lisa, Itchy and Scratchy wind up on Live with Regis and Kathie Lee.
Afterward, they end up back at Itchy’s house and urge Homer from inside the TV to use the remote to get them out. While Homer is figuring out which button to press, Itchy and Scratchy unleash a hose full of piranhas at Bart, which eat away at his body until it is a skeleton (although his head remains uneaten). Homer finally picks the right button and zaps them both out and Lisa then presses the rewind button to return Bart’s body to normal. Unfortunately, Itchy and Scratchy also escape from the TV into the real world, armed with axes. At first, the family is scared, but realize how small the two characters are (the size of a regular mouse and cat respectively) and decide to keep them as pets. Itchy ends up in a hamster cage and Scratchy has fallen in love with Snowball II. However, much to his terror, Marge says he has to be neutered.
Marge discovers Maggie’s first baby tooth, which appears to be a sharp fang. Maggie later loses her legs and grows green tentacles. Maggie’s pacifier sucks contact the alien duo, Kang and Kodos. They arrive at the Simpson house, coming to retrieve Maggie. Marge reveals that Kang is Maggie’s real father and Homer calls Marge an intergalactic space hussy. Marge retells the story: Kang and Kodos abducted her while she was doing laundry, selecting Marge for a cross-breeding program. She says the aliens used mind-control techniques on her. In reality, the entire process consisted of Marge and Kang sitting on a couch, Kang quoting terrible pick-up lines only to suddenly pull a “look-over-there” and use a ray which impregnates Marge as she looks. She recalls that nine months after the abduction, Maggie was born.
Kang and Kodos demand that the Simpsons give Maggie to them, and Kang and Homer start to fight over Maggie until Bart stops them and tells them there is only one place where something this bizarre can be resolved: The Jerry Springer Show, where Kang gives Marge a bouquet of flowers and Homer attacks him. When an audience member criticizes Kang for not manning up and being a real father to Maggie, Kang vaporizes her, as well as the rest of the audience and the film crew. During Jerry’s “final thought,” Maggie attacks Jerry Springer (resulting in him cursing at the baby and dying) and Kang and Homer continue fighting. After leaving the studio, Kang and Kodos threaten to destroy every politician in Washington unless given Maggie. Marge and the Simpsons slyly imply that the aliens could not possibly destroy every politician, and as they fly off to do so (with Bart adding to get Kenneth Starr). Homer tells Maggie it is time to go home, Maggie takes her pacifier out of her mouth and surprises her family by saying, in Kang’s voice, “Very well, I’ll drive!” before giving an evil laugh. Then, during the ending credits, Maggie says in Kang’s voice, “I need blood”.
Toupée is probably the best, though the Jerry Springer segment is also top notch.
TREEHOUSE OF HORROR X
In the opening scene, the two aliens Kang and Kodos introduce a variety show, with a live audience consisting of aliens. While they tell jokes, canned laughter is played, but the audience appears unamused. The Simpson family sits on the couch, with Homer appearing as the jack-in-the-box from “Treehouse of Horror II”, Marge as the witch from “Treehouse of Horror VIII”, Bart as the half-fly mutant from “Treehouse of Horror VIII”. Maggie is the alien/human mutant from “Treehouse of Horror IX” and Lisa is the victim of an axe murder. Lisa then asks what aliens have to do with Halloween, and Maggie, in Kang’s voice, says, “Silence!”, and disintegrates her with a ray gun.
I Know What You Diddily-Iddily-Did
In a parody of I Know What You Did Last Summer, on a foggy evening with a full moon, the Simpsons are driving down a coastal road when Marge accidentally smashes into Ned Flanders, killing him. Homer manipulates the body in several escapades, which convinces Maude that Ned died of an accident and that he does not want an autopsy. Shortly after Ned’s funeral, the family finds the phrase “I Know What You Did!” written in blood everywhere they go. They are terrorized by a cloaked figure, which drives them out of their house. Again, in the wild, they find Ned. It turns out he lived because he was bitten by a werewolf moments before the accident. Clouds uncover the full moon, Ned changes into a wolf and Marge, Bart, Maggie and Lisa run away. Ned mauls Homer to death while Homer mocks him.
Desperately Xeeking Xena
An X-ray machine scanning Halloween candy malfunctions and gives Bart the ability to stretch his body like rubber and Lisa super strength. They become a superhero duo, calling themselves “Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl”. Later, Lucy Lawless (dressed as Xena) addresses fans at a science fiction convention. Comic Book Guy, who has styled himself as a villain called “The Collector”, kidnaps her using a magnet to attract her metal breast plate. Lawless tries to remove the breastplate but stops after she notices that her horny nerd fans have cameras ready. The Collector takes her to his lair, where he puts her in an aluminized PET film bag for “safekeeping” and imprisons her in a room of other similarly-captured celebrities. Stretch Dude and Clobber Girl then enter the fray in an attempt to free Xena, but they are soon captured as well. The Collector suspends the duo over a vat of Lucite. After feigning interest in the villain, Lawless starts clobbering him. The Collector grabs his limited edition double edged lightsaber from Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace (which was released a few months before the episode) and ignites the blades, but when Lawless reminds him that he has removed it from its original packaging, he panics and ends up falling into the Lucite. Lawless then flies the children home (Lisa points out that Xena cannot fly, but Lawless reminds her she’s not Xena, she’s Lucy Lawless).
Life’s a Glitch, Then You Die
On December 31, 1999, Dick Clark is celebrating New Year’s Rockin’ Eve in Springfield. Homer, the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant’s Y2K compliance officer, declares that he fixed all the possible Y2K problems at the plant, including the computers. Unfortunately, Homer forgot to fix his own computer, and in the process sends a virus across the world. Chaos ensues, and widespread looting begins. Krusty’s malfunctioning pacemaker apparently kills him in front of the family. Bart tearfully mourns his hero, but he perks up, after finding a note. The letter in Krusty’s pocket states that a rocket (codenamed Exodus) is being populated with humanity’s “best and brightest”, and will be launched in order to preserve human civilization on Mars. When they reach the shuttle, Homer fails to bluff his way on board by claiming to be the famous Pianist from the film “Shine” but the armed guard recognizes Lisa as the ship’s designated proofreader. Lisa is only able to take one parent with her, and quickly chooses Marge. Homer and Bart find a second, unguarded rocket and board just before it launches. They quickly notice that the spaceliner is filled with such notoriously obnoxious and mediocre celebrities as radio psychologist Dr. Laura, film director Spike Lee, skating champion Tonya Harding, grunge rock singer Courtney Love, politician Ross Perot, actor Tom Arnold, MTV VJ Paulie Shore, and actress/talk show host Rosie O’Donnell. Although the craft is headed directly for the sun, Homer and Bart eject themselves from the spacecraft and die of explosive decompression.
The Xena part is the best part of the episode with Lucy Lawless providing voiceover, will remain one of my all time favorites.